decadentnightbanker

[decadentnightbanker]

07.10.23

the tops of the trees were dyed golden, just now (well, 15 minutes ago)

and the heat was much more forgiving. they say it'll

rain through the rest of the week. which would once delight me.

the monsoons back at home were our only

respite from the blazing sun, after all.

"with a heart as firm and pure as snow", may i reach "lofty ambitions".

is the butchered translation i recall of my friend's gift. a chinese

poem inscribed into a bookmark before we ever met in person.

my loved ones have had lofty ambitions for myself for

some time. "one day i'll see you on the front page," my teacher

laughed, "for winning a nobel prize." of course, i was maybe 10 years old.

i wasn't winning any prizes anytime soon. but i

still carry that with me. maybe there's a single cell inside me that has

just the right mutation to unlock it - the "nobel" mutation, the papers

will call it, and heated arguments of eugenics and morality and gene editing will ensue.

but i'll be far away from that. i'll be me, at last! at last,

just as you wanted me.

until then, i suppose, it's still going to be hard to exist

near others. i can't even look you in the eyes some days,

because i'm afraid of the reflection. perhaps every person

on the street can see the big neon sign strapped to my back,

the could've beens, should've beens, might still be?

it's suffocating. i can't even accept your easy

"good morning" without wondering

what ridiculous possibilities might lie underneath.

[decadentnightbanker]

(Source)

[decadentnightbanker]

thank you for all the preorders i am truly moved by the support, cant believe we are really doing this. BUCKAROOS ASSEMBLE bit.ly/CampDamascus

[decadentnightbanker]

WET BEAST WEDNESDAY

[decadentnightbanker]

funy tiger for my friend _sleepyhyena on twitter! 🌻

[decadentnightbanker]

Oh they are twinning

[decadentnightbanker]

Average Wedesnday

Oo I love it when you (the faint symphony of a hammer hitting steel)

[decadentnightbanker]

by the fireplace

[decadentnightbanker]

very normal hourlies day tbh

[decadentnightbanker]

painting practice with The Boy

[decadentnightbanker]

guess who’s thinking about kissing boys again

[decadentnightbanker]

[decadentnightbanker]

Howdy newbies and welcome to Tumblr, it takes a bit of setup to get this site running well so here’s what works for me. One of the neat things about this site is that its a different experience for everyone, so tailor these settings towards what you want from this site. 

New XKit 

[decadentnightbanker]

Shenhe sketch for practice <3

[decadentnightbanker]

AN ODE TO QUEER JOY

Part 2 : Joy in our partner(s) (Queer love)

unknown / @maraleestuff / jane the virgin. gif by @damnthosewords / @tattoosshouldbesubsidized / unknown / queeringthemap, anonymous in vietnam / unknown / @thehappyegg / one day at a time : elena gives a valentine card to her non-binary partner. gif by @agenderraypalmer

[decadentnightbanker]

AN ODE TO QUEER JOY

Part 1 : Joy in each other (Community)

@artbyeloquent / lil nas x and elton john wearing a rendition of each other's iconic costumes. photographer unknown / @ghostcauliflower / alison bechdel / @android-boy / heartstopper : scene where nick, a bisexual boy, sees his two lesbian friends kiss. gif by @nicks-nelson / @canaryomenharbinger / shatzi weisberger with three unknown people / anonymous / new york city 2021 pride parade. photographer unknown

[decadentnightbanker]

boys. you agree. reblog.