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Andrea Howey

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Advice for people in their 20s from someone who’s just entered their 30s....

1. Don’t waste time being fearful: go for that job that you’re certain you’re not gonna get. What’s the worse that can happen? You are rejected, but you gain interview experience. Self-doubt is really a waste of time.

2. Live in the present. Yes, it is important to plan for the future, but it is easy to put off living until it is too late. Make sure that you have no regrets about what you should have done. Do one exciting thing per year.

3. Know your worth. This applies to both work and relationships; never sell yourself short. No job or romance is more important than your self respect. Also, charge for any unique skills/services that you can offer. 

4. Don’t be afraid to leave bad situations. I left a stable but draining teaching job in order to protect my mental health. Even though this was a big risk, it was the best decision I ever made. NOTHING is more important than your mental health. 

5. Most 20 somethings feel that they are underachieving. This is normal - especially in today’s financial climate. Don’t feel bad if you are still living at home and cannot afford to rent/buy. I’m 30 and still living at home, saving to buy.

6. People will disappoint you, but most of the time, it’s not about you. Everybody has their own demons and traumas that make them behave in certain ways. If somebody disrespects you, assert your boundaries and keep it moving. Also, examine if there was anything you could have done to avoid the situation. But DO NOT let it eat away at you.

7. In love, nobody owes you anything. Even if they made a promise, they are their own person…Everybody has the right to change their mind and to leave a situation which is not beneficial for them. This is hurtful and hard to accept, but it is the truth.

8. Learn to enjoy your own company. Your 20s can be a lonely time as your social sphere narrows, due to employment, finances and exhaustion. Use this time to find out more about yourself and do the things that you enjoy. There is something liberating about eating at a restaurant alone. 

9. Be kind, don’t gossip or overshare. I am still working on this one. It is really difficult to be kind and positive in a world full of annoying people. However, your attitude will influence how you are being perceived. If you are unkind, people will laugh at your jokes but they will never trust you. They will never trust you not to treat them as you treat other people. Remove yourself from toxic people, and only share negativity (sadness/anger/depression) with a therapist and one other person that you trust. If you overshare negative feelings, you may be stereotyped as being full of drama. Furthermore, people will want you to stay in a negative place because it’s entertaining and makes them feel better about their own lives. Just don’t do it.

10. You cannot win every battle. Within conflict, it is tempting to try to force others to agree with your perspective. However, most people are set in their ways, and find it difficult to change their views and behaviours. This is especially important when dealing with toxic family members. You may never get the apology and empathy that you seek, so it is important to accept that every battle cannot be won, and gain validation internally, rather than externally.

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The Presence

The presence of God

Is soothing

Enlightening

Calming

The presence of God

Reveals

Heals

And opens doors

The presence of God

Is Beauty

Truth

Light

The presence of God-

A consuming, powerful love story

A brilliant canvas

Contrasted painfully against the darkness of this world.

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Let Go & Let God

Breathe.

In and out.

Carefully.

Let your tears fall Let your heart break Let your emotions out

Let it all go and just trust God with everything. Release every pain and sorrow and stress fall into His lap and find comfort. Don’t hold back, be honest, find His love.

Find joy. Find peace. Find love.

It begins with trust. Not in yourself, not in the people around you, but in God.

Find God.

Let go and let God.

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How to Deal with Paranoid Thoughts

1. Keep a diary of your thoughts. Check this record daily, and look for patterns. 2. Notice what triggers these kinds of thoughts and patterns – other people, situations, or general moods and feelings. 3. Try and frame extreme thought patterns so they’re more reasonable and balanced. 4. Look for evidence that backs up and supports these new perspectives (That is, more reasonable and balance, and less extreme, thought patterns.) 5. Pay attention to the people you are listening to each day. Are they extremely critical, and do they put you down? 6. Check your overall wellbeing – such as amount of sleep, the kinds of foods you’re eating, and when and how much you are drinking.

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Dear Jesus,

In the 23 years of my existence, there wasn’t a time you weren’t by my side. As a kid, you were with me in the playgrounds. As a teen, you were with me when I fought with my family and my own demons every day. As an adult, you were with me in my darkest and loneliest nights. Even in the moments when I questioned your goodness, I still felt your stubborn presence and your warm embrace around my coldness.

People say your early 20s are the worst period of your life, and I believe that, at least in an emotional perspective. As I continue to stumble through my 20s, I don’t want to do it alone. Jesus, I just want a family that I could truly forgive and love without shame. I just want friends, not in numbers, but a few who I could fully be who I am with.

I know that my worth doesn’t come from how people respond to me, it comes from You. So please help me ignore the voices that say I am too little or too much, and help me believe that I am exactly as much me as the world needs. I say all of these things, but You know that what I truly want is real peace. Peace beyond understanding. Peace that guards my heart. Peace that guards my mind. Peace that can only come from You.

- J

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“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV  (via human-perspective)

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John 15:16 NLT 16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.

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