dedeenmarie

[dedeenmarie]

Howdy! So I came across Cause Even the Stars they burn… on ao3 today…OMG! I noticed it’s been a bit since an update. Just wanted to 1) tell you how hooked you have me! 2) do you have immediate plans to continue it

Hey anon! Sorry for the delay in answering, I don’t usually check my Tumblr, but the fic has been updated! Had a bit of a health issue, but feeling a lot better. Happy to hear you’re liking the fic. Hope you enjoy this next chapter. And yes, I plan to see it through. ❤️

[dedeenmarie]

I just read when you come back to me while waiting for my flight out of Chicago today. I absolutely loved it! Do you have any plans to write another Upstead angsty fic? Or a Hailey getting hurt one shot? You’re very talented at that! 🤣 thanks for keeping me entertained today!

Hi!

Thank you for your sweet words! 🥰🥰

When you come back to me is a VERY angsty one. I was definitely going through life when writing that fic, but Fall Apart is darker and waaay angstier - it's my pandemic fic 😅 (if you've read it you know, I went there with that fic. Lots of trigger warnings on that one). I had no mercy on Hailey on that one - I put her through the ringer.

But to answer your questions about any plans on writing a new multi-chapter fic. So, before the whole JLS news dropped, I was working on a fic that I had been referring it to as the "Homeless Jay" fic. I actually talk about it a bit more in detail here.

My hope is that I can get back to writing it. I love this fic. I love the outline I currently have. I just need some motivation to write it. Things happening in cannon are making this hard, but I hope Upstead will have a happily-ever-after in cannon.

[dedeenmarie]

You’ve piqued my curiosity. Can you elaborate more on the Homeless Jay fic?

Yes, of course, anon.

This whole "homeless Jay" fic started after 9x09 aired when Jay went undercover as the homeless junkie. Now look, I'm not condoning the character's behavior at all, but that man looked HOT in those scenes. Like, I despise smoking but Jay's whole "swag" in that scene had me swooning. I still get heart palpitations every time I see a GIF of those scenes 🥵🥵

So, I had this AU idea where Jay was a strung out vet sort of living on the streets trying to find himself (this in an unfortunate truth of our veteran community). He bumps into a young cop (Hailey) while she's on a call. Immediately they feel a pull for each other. They are both sort of broken, in their own way, both looking for a "place" to call home.

It's a slow burn with lots of angst.

I really do hope to continue to write the fic because this visual of homeless Jay will be forever ingrained in my head.

[dedeenmarie]

Sorry to bother you with this question... it's just curiosity : the homeless Jay AU is still a thing?

Hi anon! Not bothering at all 😊

There’s roughly 5 pages of outline and a good chunk of the first chapter written. Have I touched it since the news that JLS was leaving PD broke out? Not really. I’ve just been in a writing funk ever since, and even though I’ve written a couple of oneshots (I mostly rage wrote them to deal with some of the writing choices that were made on the show), writing a multi-chapter fic requires more brain power/inspiration/motivation than I currently have. But I would like to get back to it. I love everything I’ve planned for it. I just hope PD doesn’t completely crush my soul with this Hailey story arc. Also, there is still hope deep in my bones that Jay will make a guest appearance and Upstead will finally have their happy ending (even if it’s off camera).

[dedeenmarie]

Oh that is most definitely something I'd be very interested in reading if you ever find yourself writing ABFTB Hailey&Jay again 🥰

I'm been low on inspiration since the news about JLS, but thinking about ABTFB again makes my heart happy. So, this might happen. So, keep a look out around the holidays for a ABFTB holiday special.

[dedeenmarie]

A holiday special?? YES PLEASE

Hi anon,

I'm thinking yes here - it will be nice to revisit the ABFTB universe for a holiday catch up. I'm thinking the fall finale will hurt (with how the story arc is going for Hailey), so it will be nice to dive into a happy realm while we wait for the season to pick up again in January.

[dedeenmarie]

I’m dreading seeing this fic come to an end next week as it’s become one of my all time favorite upstead fics. I love your writing, can we expect another from you soon after this one ends?

I'm thinking I'm seeing this late - but I do appreciate you writing this and for you sweet words, anon. ❤️

Before everything happened, I had plans and WIPS in mind, but it all sort of "went away." I lost some of the inspo (and it has only gotten worse as S10 rolled one), but we'll see. I'm hopefully Upstead will get a happy ending in cannon.

[dedeenmarie]

Absolutely loved the ending to your story. Do you think maybe one day you would you ever make a sequel ?

Not sure I can do a sequel, but I never say never. However, I can definitely play around in that world -doing onshots, etc... I do miss writing, and maybe a way to get back at it, is to revisit a world I loved imagining. ❤️

[dedeenmarie]

I really love A Bolt From The Blue and I just finished rereading it for the fifth time because I just miss that story. Have you ever considered writing oneshots from that universe or is it something better left the way it is? ☺️

That's so sweet to hear  🥰  🥰 

I'm currently thinking about writing a holiday special, where we see them in the future. Would that be something you'd want to see?

[dedeenmarie]

Dea hope you are hanging in there! Loved ABFTB so much! Do you plan on another fic? You are so good at missing moment fics any thoughts on one or a spec fic for the new season?

I'm hanging in there - like everyone else, I assume.

Happy to hear you liked ABFTB.  🥰 I have other ideas for multi-chapter fics and I have outlines - even snippets written, but with everything that happened this season, my inspiration to write has unfortunately tanked.  And I miss writing - it's an outlet for me, but forcing when the want is not there it's usually counterproductive. I still hold hope that this season will turn around - that Upstead will be united and that they will live happily ever after. Maybe then I can take a deep breath and tackle my WIP folder.

[dedeenmarie]

Would you consider doing a sequel for ABFTB? I am not ready to let this one go 😞

You know, I do miss writing. So, maybe I will do like a holiday special of them in the future. That would be fun to write, and since cannon is not giving me any inspiration, maybe re-visiting a "world" I loved writing for might get me out of this writing slump.

[dedeenmarie]

Dea? Can we get some emoji teasers? 😉💙

For the phone s*x fic? You know, it's pretty much what you think will happened 😅 But here it is:

[dedeenmarie]

Hi, there! Are you really writing a facetime/phone sex fic? Please tell me you are, we need it so bad 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Oh anon, it’s actually written. It all came out last night as I drank all the wine to cope with my feelings after the episode aired. I just need to edit now. This is a subject that it’s kind of daunting to write, and I’m very intimidated by it, so it will take me a few runs at it to find the right cadence and rhythm before I can post. Maybe sometime next week, I’m thinking. But it will be posted, I’m just making it extra polished for you guys. ❤️

[dedeenmarie]

Home Again

Summary:  The sound of his voice calling her name coils around the bruised place deep in her heart, wrapping it in a balm more soothing than she had ever known. A genuine smile curves her lips, and when she turns around, she sees the smile mirrored on his face. The enormity of the moment overwhelms her and a sob escapes her throat.

AN: I wanted to write a post 10x03 fic, but I couldn't justify Jay's actions no matter how hard I tried. Still, I was desperate to reconcile my frustrations with his exit, so this fic was born. It's my attempt to bring some sense to an otherwise senseless situation. I hope you enjoy it.

Read here: AO3

[dedeenmarie]

Cannot believe we have 2 chapters left. I’m going to miss this fic so much.

Can we get the emojis for the next chapter, please?

Me too! Just thinking about it makes my heart hurt - that I won’t be writing for these young lovebirds anymore. 😓

Emoji teaser:

[dedeenmarie]

Another painful chapter my friend ☹️

Yes, another hard one, anon. And I'm going to forewarn you and say, the next chapter will also be "bumpy" for J&H. But there's some big realizations happening in the next chapter - things will move along. This angst is NOT here to stay. They are just growing pains.

[dedeenmarie]

Can we pretty please get emojis? 😊

Here it is!