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deljune14 · 1 month

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10 Lessons from My Last Internship!

For those of you who don’t know, I spent January doing a consulting internship and well, I had a blast. I was in a cozy, ski-lodge environment, I worked with a team of amazing students from around the world to come up with a consulting solution for a mega-cap company, and most importantly, I got a TON of advice from some of the biggest people in marketing, consulting, and finance. And of course, I can’t wait to share it with you guys. Let’s get into it:

1. If you’re not growing in a position, you should leave it.

It doesn’t matter if you’re working in the most prestigious role at the most prestigious company in the world, the moment you begin to feel comfortable or like you’re not growing, you need to transition. The people who tend to make the biggest impact and attain the most success, are the ones who have seemingly lived a thousand lives. They’ve worked in various industries, taken on countless different roles, and as a result, have grown tremendously throughout their careers. An entrepreneur came to speak to us who started his career as an investment banker, transitioned into becoming a diplomat, then a restaurant owner, and finally the founder of a huge tech company. He made it very clear that had he stayed working at his cushy finance job, he would’ve been half the person he is today. By committing to quit every job he could no longer learn from, he found his passions, his hobbies, his partner, and most importantly, he found a way to make a huge impact in the world.

2. Borrow & adapt.

Instead of trying to rewrite the wheel, look to the people who have already succeeded in what you’re trying to do and adapt their technique so it works for you. For example, if your boss found their success by networking their ass off at every step in their career, figure out how you can use networking to your advantage when trying to move up in your company. I borrow and adapt from people I admire all the time. I know exactly how my mentors got to where they are, and I’ve worked to apply their methods to my own life. I’ve read tons of books from the biggest entrepreneurs out there and I know it would be silly to not borrow their advice so I can one day reach a similar level of success. As you progress in your career, look to the greats for inspiration and figure out what they did so you can, well, do it better.

3. If you can Google it, don’t ask it.

I’ve said before that the old saying “there’s no such thing as a stupid question” is false because there are such things as stupid questions and people ask them all the time. To me, a stupid question is one that you can find the answer to on your own. This notion became abundantly clear to me a couple of weeks ago when we were given the opportunity to ask questions to professionals at the company we were doing consulting for, and one of the executives prefaced our session by saying “If you can find the answers to these questions without asking us, don’t ask them. We’re busy and it’s not our job to do your work for you”. So the point is: don’t waste people’s time by asking silly questions just to get your voice heard. Ask questions that are compelling and require answers that can’t be found on Wikipedia or (gasp!) Reddit.

4. Express your vision.

One of the most successful startup founders out there came to speak to us a few days ago, and when I asked him for his top interviewing advice, he simply said “Express your vision”. Then he went into a story about how his first job was working as a blackjack dealer at a casino in a popular ski resort. The job paid well, so naturally, he was up against hundreds of applicants for that one spot. Well, during the interview, when they asked “Why do you want to become a blackjack dealer?” he responded, “Because my vision is to one day run the casino. But I have to start somewhere, right?”. The moral of his story is to always express your long-term vision when trying to make your case. Don’t just tell your interviewer that you want to work as a marketing assistant because you like the company’s culture. Tell them you want to one day become the company’s chief marketing officer, so you’re committed to becoming the best marketing assistant they’ve ever had. When people know that you have an innate drive to do amazing things, they will be inclined to open doors for you. 99% of people are too scared to express what they truly want. Stand out by actually owning your vision and sharing it.

5. Short, Sweet, & Front-loaded.

This is how you should structure pretty much every point you make. Nobody is going to pay attention to your pitch if you drag on about things that don’t matter. If you start a point off slowly and calmly, people will get bored and they will very quickly stop paying attention. None of this background story or providing context nonsense. Your pitch should get right to the point, be compelling, and start with a bang. Get your energy up to an 11 and start with something like “I am the ideal candidate for this position for three reasons” or “This product is going to change the world. Here’s why”. By doing so, you get to control how they react to the rest of the conversation.

6. You have got to get over your fear of public speaking.

Because no matter who you are or what career you find yourself in, you will eventually have to speak in front of a large group of people. Whether it’s as a maid of honor at a wedding, sitting around a large dinner table, or standing in front of a board room, I can guarantee you that will you need to step up at some point and be able to express yourself clearly and calmly in front of many people. During my internship, I had to do some form of public speaking nearly every day simply because our directors knew that public speaking is an essential part of life. So, if you’re deathly afraid of it, I suggest you get started right now on getting over that fear. Invest in some books, watch a few TED Talks, sign up for your local toastmasters, and do whatever you have to do to become a strong speaker. This is a tough pill to swallow but I have to say it: your ability to speak well in front of an audience will define the trajectory of your career.

7. Don’t underestimate the value of a supportive partner.

Nearly every leader who came to speak to interns, at some point or another, mentioned how they would have never gotten to their level of success without their spouse. One of the speakers explained exactly why, he said “I’ve never made a career decision without talking it through with my wife. I’m not a superhuman. I have blind spots and my wife, who knows me even better than I know myself, can immediately spot them and help me make the right choices.” I know we’re all independent women here, but understand that having a partner who will not only support you unconditionally but will also push you to be your best self and hold you accountable will make a HUGE difference in your career and ultimately, in your life.

8. “Don’t create magic, create the conditions for magic to happen”.

The chief marketing officer of one of the largest companies in the world gave this exact answer when one of the interns asked him what his secret to success is. He explained that you don’t have to be a genius or have all the perfect answers to stand out in your career. Your ideas don’t even need to be all that great. All you need to do is surround yourself with the right people and facilitate the right environment to create the proverbial magic. And it makes perfect sense. Have you ever driven yourself crazy trying to come up with a solution to a problem, only for a friend to offer you the perfect solution within seconds? Well, if you can consistently surround yourself with a group of people who go beyond your blind spots, you’re going to be successful in truly any endeavor.

9. Focus on the big picture.

Translation: don’t sweat the small stuff. When it comes to your career, you’re not going to be judged on that outfit you wore that one time or that presentation you were nervous about. You’re going to be judged on the culmination of your work throughout your time in a role. I get so many questions from people freaking out about the silliest issues related to their careers and frankly, none of them matter. When you show up at the office every day, instead of spending two hours formatting your notes or practicing in the mirror how you’ll say good morning to your coworker, start showing up ready to get your work done to the best of your ability despite the tiny mistakes you’re bound to make.

10. Create a vision statement for your life.

A neuroscientist came to speak to us early on in the internship and he spent the entire two-hour-long session having us make vision statements for our lives. A vision statement is a couple of sentences that summarize your ultimate goal in life. And this goal doesn’t have to be tangible, like becoming a billionaire, but can be more intuitive, like living a peaceful life. The neuroscientist explained that these statements are so important because they serve as a constant reminder for you to zero in on your goals, projects, and tasks that have the highest impact on the areas you want to prioritize. So set aside a few hours to sit down with yourself and figure out exactly what you want in life. Once you’ve come up with an answer, summarize it in a couple of sentences and put it on a notecard or your notes app, and look at it every morning before getting out of bed and every night before going to sleep. It's often said that “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail.” Most people want to race ahead and cut corners. Don’t cut this corner.

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deljune14 · 2 months

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How to Change in 2024

1.CREATE A ROUTINE

Some of your best intentions fail because you don't have a system of execution.

Your new habits and behaviors must be incorporated into your routine to see changes.

Get the "Digital Time Blocking Planner" to Create a better structure in your day.

2. WAKE UP EARLY

Waking up at 5 a.m. Or earlier provides a head start and allows you to have time for activities such as:

• Tahajjud

• Exercise

• Studying the Deen

• Planning

• Being productive

• Working on a project

These activities will lead you to become the best version of yourself

How I wake up at 05:00 am:

1. Sleep early 20:00

2. To fall asleep, move and exercise

3. Plan the night before

4. Remember why you're waking up early

5. Don't hit snooze

6. It's a process, you will get there.

3.MOVEMENT AND NUTRITION

A one-hour workout is 4% of your day. No Excuses.

The food you eat significantly affects your mood, performance, and well-being.

These exercises yield the best results:

• Running

• Swimming

• Lifting weights

• Pilates

These exercises will quickly strengthen and tone your body

4.SELF-EDUCATE

Education is one thing no one can take away from you.

Online Skills you can Develop:

• Web development

• Mastering no-code tools

• YouTube

• Copywriting

• Digital Marketing

• Content Creation

• Influencer marketing

• Audience building

Practical Steps to Self-educate:

1. Sign up for Online Classes

2. Attend Seminars and Workshops

3. Read Non-Fiction Book

4. Gain Experience - volunteer or intern

5. Find a Mentor

6. Enjoy the process and don’t fear making mistakes

5.JOURNALING FOR 10MIN

Writing down your thoughts and feelings for the purpose of self-understanding, awareness and reflection.

Writing down thoughts such as:

• Your daily goals

• Reflections on negative thoughts

• Emotional processing

• Expressions of gratitude

• Find clarity

Block 10-15min everyday to write your thoughts down.

6.RELY ON DISCIPLINE

Discipline and consistency are the key to becoming the best version of yourself.

Forget about MOTIVATION,ACTION ACTION ACTION!

If you aren't good at something, work harder AND work smarter.

Build Discipline:

1. Identify what drives you

- The pain of staying the same drives me.

2. Pushing your boundary

- Doing a little more.

3. Control your emotions

- You don't feel like it, do it anyway.

4. Become 1% better every day

- Choosing to wake up early and get to work instead of scrolling on social media.

5. Big goals and small steps

- Set specific targets to reach.

Inconsistency and indiscipline is the enemy of results

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deljune14 · 2 months

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The life that you want starts with the small things

It's not enough to simply wish for a good life, a happy family, a job you're proud of and true friendships... your daily actions reveal what's a priority for you.

The habits you do mindless, on autopilot, they only satisfy the lowest desires - which you give in to because they seem natural.

But it is precisely this search, whether for affection, validation, pleasure or recognition, that makes you little by little move away from everything that is elevated

It's very easy to have that SENSE OF PLEASURE And REWARD with these things.

But the valuable things... the ones you really want, the ones that require you to work hard to get them.

That's why you need to focus on what truly matters and abandon habits that do not serve your greater purpose.

The more you strive towards your dreams, the easier it will be to leave behind what doesn't contribute to them.

Make your daily life completely directed towards what you really want.

Replace those silly habits with small actions, small efforts, that will get you where you really want to go.

Building the life you REALLY want requires a lot of dedication on your part…

To do this, you need to control your instinct to indulge in momentary pleasures.

The high things in life take time to come to fruition, but I assure you that it is worth it and that you will NEVER - never, ever - regret choosing to prioritize what is good for you.

Abandon habits that don't take you forward and dedicate yourself to building the future you've always wanted - even if you're not fully aware of it now.

In the end, you will look back and see that it was worth it.

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deljune14 · 2 months

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how to romanticize your life - a series - post 1 - intro to romanticizing

hello lovelies! this is a lil series that i'm putting together on how to romanticize lots of different aspects of your life. i hope you like it! <3

the art of romanticizing your life.

it's about finding beauty and magic in the ordinary, turning everyday moments into something extraordinary, and infusing your life with a sense of wonder and delight.

whether it's savoring a cup of tea in the morning, taking a leisurely stroll through the park, or simply enjoying the company of loved ones, romanticizing allows you to appreciate the little things and cultivate a deeper sense of joy and gratitude.

so in this daily series we're going to dive into the concept of romanticizing and how it can add an extra special touch to all facets of your life!

stay tuned...

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deljune14 · 2 months

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12 lessons women learn late in life

• Self-acceptance: Understanding and embracing oneself, including imperfections and past mistakes, leads to greater self-acceptance and self-love.

• Setting boundaries: Realizing the importance of setting healthy boundaries in personal and professional relationships, and learning to say "no" without feeling guilty.

• Prioritizing their needs: Recognizing the significance of self-care and prioritizing their physical and emotional well-being.

• Embracing aging: Accepting the natural process of aging and finding beauty and wisdom in each stage of life.

• Letting go of perfection: Understanding that perfection is unattainable and that it's okay to make mistakes and learn from them.

• Emotional intelligence: Developing better emotional intelligence and learning how to navigate and express emotions effectively.

• Value of female friendships: Appreciating the unique bonds and support that can be found in female friendships.

• Financial independence: Recognizing the importance of financial knowledge and independence, regardless of relationship status.

• Life is not a race: Understanding that life's journey is unique to each individual, and it's okay to take different paths and timelines.

• Resilience: Learning from past challenges and developing resilience to bounce back from setbacks.

• Reevaluating priorities: Reflecting on what truly matters in life and refocusing energy and time on what brings fulfillment and happiness.

• Living in the present: Letting go of regrets about the past and worries about the future, and embracing the present moment.

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deljune14 · 2 months

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🛍️﹒➜﹒how to rebrand yourself as a cher horowitz inspired it girl﹐⇄

As if!

Why should you settle for less than you deserve, especially with MEN? Keep your standards high and eventually you’ll find the right one. "Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Polly Shore movie"

Everything is a jumping off point for negotiations.

Learn about psychology and improve your persuasion skills. You definitely don’t have to be manipulative, but if you can talk your way out or in of something, do it! Never accept the first offer.

Gotta get those steel glutes!

Try aerobics! It’s a fun way to do exercise and get that pump of dopamine. Remember, don’t just work out to get your dream body, do it for your happiness, wellbeing and health.

Sporadically means once in a while.

Broaden your knowledge and vocabulary by adding a weekly non-school book into your routine. Try to use the words and things that you learn once in a while.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean you have to put yourself above anyone.

Cher always goes out of her way to help people, and that is part of her appeal. She treats everyone with the same level of respect and tries her best to help others.

Your hair is your crown.

Invest in actual great hair products that give life to your hair. Look for what’s best suited for your type of hair, not if they’re expensive or trendy.

You don’t understand, this is an Alaïa!

Quality > Quantity. Buy clothes that are timeless and make sure you’re not being affected by trends. Invest in some basics and see if you can style that piece of clothing multiple ways before you buy it.

Compromise to help the planet.

Just like Cher decided to involve herself in disaster relief charity, search for things that you can do to help that are within your reach.

Shoot that arrow, Cupid!

Everyone deserves the chance to experience being in love, so why not help them by playing matchmaker? I promise it’s gonna feel rewarding in the end!

Learn how to excel at conversational skills.

Knowing how to deal with people it’s one of the most important skills a person can have. Cher also knows how introduce a subject and prove a point, so why shouldn’t you?

SHOWS THAT CHER WOULD WATCH !

Sex and the City

Gossip Girl

Scream Queens

The Carrie Diaries

One Tree Hill

BOOKS THAT CHER WOULD READ !

Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shephard

Emma by Jane Austen

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisenbergen

MOVIES THAT CHER WOULD WATCH !

The Princess Diaries

Mean Girls

Grease

Bring It On

Sixteen Candles

PERFUMES THAT CHER WOULD USE !

Sweet like Candy (Ariana Grande)

Pink Sugar (Aquolina)

Mon Paris (YSL)

Burberry Her (Burberry)

Sweet Tooth (Sabrina Carpenter)

BRANDS THAT CHER WOULD SHOP !

House of CB

Moschino

Blumarine

Miu Miu

Givenchy

THINGS THAT CAN MAKE U FEEL MORE ALIGNED TO CHER:

Drink a glass of orange juice every morning, you need your dosis of vitamin C !

Download a virtual closet app to plan matching outfits every morning.

Search for cute plans (and parties) to do with your Dionne.

Join a debate club.

Keep in touch with your childish side. You can do this by watching the cartoons you watched as a child like Cher!

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deljune14 · 2 months

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Be a dreamer.

Have goals,

Have ambitions,

Dream big.

I mean this in the most literal sense.

Don’t just aspire to do what you know you can do or what you know you can be.

Aspire to do what you never thought you could achieve, what you never thought you could be.

Because that’s what separates you from the others, that’s what makes you try hard in life and what motivates you to do better.

Doing what others do and knowing that you have goals far from what the people around you are achieving is a wake up call to start doing things differently.

If you wake up one day and decide that you want to be a millionaire, then so be it. You want to be a millionaire? Then you’re going to be motivated to learn finance, to learn discipline and so on. The people around might look down on you but the people around you are not dreaming your dreams. They are not thinking your thoughts or living your life. So why should you put your dreams on hold because other people don’t think like you do?

Start that business, make that post, do that workout, live the life you always dreamed for yourself and don’t look back because you only live once.

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deljune14 · 2 months

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It doesn’t matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on the path toward success. You should be far more concerned with your current trajectory than with your current results. If you’re a millionaire but you spend more than you earn each month, then you’re on a bad trajectory. If your spending habits don’t change, it’s not going to end well. Conversely, if you’re broke, but you save a little bit every month, then you’re on the path toward financial freedom—even if you’re moving slower than you’d like.

Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits. Your net worth is a lagging measure of your financial habits. Your weight is a lagging measure of your eating habits. Your knowledge is a lagging measure of your learning habits. Your clutter is a lagging measure of your cleaning habits. You get what you repeat.

Atomic Habits by James Clear

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deljune14 · 2 months

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some days I feel like making the most of myself, other days I just want to stay laid in bed and take an off day, but everyday I make myself the #1 priority!

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deljune14 · 2 months

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Lessons from my Hypergamous Mother 💕

I've talked about my mother several times on this blog but for those who are new, she's basically the O.G. Hypergamous woman. Despite not coming from money, being black and an immigrant, she's dated men worth millions, tens of millions, and close to billions of dollars. So with that, here are some of the lessons my mother has instilled upon me since I was born about dating and life.

Wear high quality clothes that fit well.

If there's one hill my mom will die on, it's that quality> quantity. To her, one wool Ralph Lauren blazer is worth 15 polyester blazers from Zara. And honestly, you can't really fight her on it because the majority of the time, clothes that are high quality just look better. Because of this, growing up 90% of my clothes came from high-end thrift stores and estate sales and truthfully, they still do.

Men come a dime a dozen.

My mother reminds me of this fact quite literally every time the male sex is mentioned in our household. She's had her pick of some of the most powerful men in the world simply because she doesn't care about any of them. Her psyche is this: there are millions of rich, smart, loving men out there, so why the hell would you stress out about finding one?

Education is key to success.

The same can't be said in all countries, but America is one of those nations where you can come in as an immigrant with nothing, and with the right education, become a member of the top 1%. Now the meaning of education isn't binary; you don't have to have a degree from Harvard or be a Rhodes Scholar. Being educated can simply mean you have a wide scope of knowledge on a variety of topics! To my mother, if you're highly educated, you can hold your own in any crowd.

Never give your entire heart away.

When my sister was a college freshman, she got her heart broken for the first time. While my mother was very quick to take her home and indulge her for a weekend, she was also very quick to tell her the crucial mistake she made. To quote her, "The problem isn't that you fell in love, the problem is that you gave him everything and when he left you had nothing. When you fall in love, always keep 10% of that love for yourself so that if things go south you won't be too devastated."

When you chase a man, he'll be inclined to run away.

So never, ever chase a man. Men are simple: if they want you they will do everything in their power to get you. There will never be any doubts. It's all very primal: nearly every species of male in the animal kingdom assume the role of "courting" their female counterparts. It's quite literally in their DNA. So there is never a need to go out and beg a man for his affections. In fact, doing so will almost always guarantee him running from you.

Praise don't complain.

Praise is the most effective tool for getting whatever you want from a man. NEVER complain about a mans inability to do something because he will immediately shut down and resent you. Instead, praise him endlessly when he acts well. His ego will be stroked and in return, you will have him eating out of the palm of your hand.

Elegance = Beauty.

You don't need to be quintessentially beautiful. You don't need to have a great body, you don't need to have a pretty face, you don't need any organically beautiful features. If you can put some quality time and effort into accentuating what you do have going for you and become the most refined and elegant woman in the room, you'll do very well. And elegance isn't just about being able to wear a string of pearls, it's about being confident and centered. It's about self mastery and not feeling the need to be anything but yourself.

Always keep your options open.

Ever heard the dating analogy "Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu"? Well it's something my mom lives by. Yes, she's all for monogamy but the fact of the matter is, you have to look out for yourself first. If your beloved suddenly decides to jump ship or things don't work out, it's always good to have a backup plan. And sometimes you'll find yourself dating someone you thought was great when all of a sudden someone even better stumbles into your life. Ultimately, this is your life and your decisions will have the biggest ripple effect on you. Look out for yourself, keep your options open. Nothing is guaranteed.

There's no shame in not feeling shame.

My mother is an extremely proud woman. Nothing has or ever will get her down about herself which all roots back to her decision to not ever feel shame about who she is. Whenever you feel inclined to feel shameful or insecure, reverse the narrative. If you're the only Black woman in a board room full of white men, instead of getting shy, revel in the fact that everyone will be that much more inclined to listen to you because you stand out. When you show up late to a date, instead of apologizing to your company thank them for waiting. Quite literally force yourself to be completely neutral in all situations and never internalize anything. Shame is really a false narrative we choose to espouse and it only holds us back from our desires. The solution is simple: stop feeling shame.

Above all, you are enough.

Regardless of whether you're still a work in progress or don't have your life together at all, you are the prize and you really have to start acting like it. It's not your job to alter your entire personality for a man. It's not your job to spend all day and night getting ready for dates. It's not your job to level up only for the sake of attracting a man. This kind of behavior will only emphasize this idea that you are not good enough as you are to attract the love that you deserve. You, by virtue of having your own set of life experiences, are completely worthy. The true differentiator between successful women and unsuccessful women is mindset. I know unattractive, uneducated, and unqualified women absolutely killing it in life and it's all because they are confident as fuck and truly believe that they deserve the best. So what's stopping you from cultivating that energy right now? I promise you that if you begin to walk, talk, sleep, eat, and breathe like you are the prize, the world will begin treating you the same way.

Lovingly,

Elle

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