diary-of-a-lesboy

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

i recently found the label lesboy and im verry hesitant to use to term because of hateful people saying that its wrong to use the term because man cant be lesbians and i as a genderfluid/polygender person dont know if i should just call myself a lesbian or lesboy to avoid getting hate

hey anon! i'll be honest, it can absolutely be hard to publicly identify as something so hated for no reason. no one should judge you for prioritizing your mental health. however, you can still privately identify as a lesboy while saying you're a lesbian on here if you want to avoid harassment! you can identify as something personally without publicly telling others if you don't want to tell them, that's a perfectly valid way of identification!

#mod reign

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

Also. It is interesting how "lesbian trans man" is seen as a chronically online identity when being against that is honestly a very chronically online stance to take. This viewpoint seems to interpret gender and sexuality labels as simply words in a tumblr bio, rather than descriptors of lived experience in the outside world. Outside of tumblr, I am not a square icon describing itself as a lesbian and a trans man in the same sentence specifically to make Real Lesbians feel unsafe. I'm an entire person and those are both words that describe the way I interact with the outside world.

I mainly continue to use the word lesbian while being a trans man because I am a bigender manwoman, but for the sake of this argument, let's assume I am a monogender trans man, and everything else about my life is exactly the same.

I haven't shared my pronouns with all that many people, those I have shared my pronouns with often forget because I only told them once when we first met. Few people actually use he/him for me, and even fewer know my chosen name. A vast majority of people I meet know me as my deadname, which is extremely feminine. I sometimes pass as male when briefly interacting with complete strangers, but anyone I've known long enough to have a conversation with can easily tell I'm not a cis man.

It's not how I identify, but I interact with the world around me as a woman, because that's how I'm perceived by most people.

I also like women, and I'm fairly vocal about this. If I say a woman is hot, people will interpret that as me being a lesbian. If I say I'm queer, the assumption is that I am lesbian or bisexual; always wlw, never a straight trans man. If I had a girlfriend, we would not look like a straight couple. If I called myself straight, this would be mistaken as me being a woman who likes men, rather than a man who likes women. If I called myself a straight man, I would very likely get laughed at.

Putting "he/him" in my tumblr bio won't change that. Internally identifying as a man won't change that.

Lesbian is the best way for me to effectively communicate my orientation (attracted to women) to others when I am not on the internet. And it's a chronically online take to say I can't use that word because an internet stranger thinks I pass as a cis man.

(disclaimer: some non-passing or closeted trans man will identify as straight men regardless of what other people think! and i genuinely admire them for it! however, i didn't choose to disregard what other people think, and describe myself as a lesbian because that is how i am described by others.)

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

Hey so i need advice. I was on a discord server and was talking about being a lesboy, and a transfem user said that lesboy is a trans misogynistic slur and that shes been called that before. I dont want to invalidate their experience but I also want to defend lesboy, cause the label has a completely seperate context from the slur. Im just not sure what to say :(

honestly, that person was being really selfish. lesboy as a word may not have been around for a super long time, but lesbian men identification has and it's just a word to describe that. just because a word has been used as a slur in some contexts doesn't mean it automatically is universally a slur or a bad word. if they don't like that word because it's been used negatively against them then that's valid, but they have no right to tell you how to identify. like, queer and gay have been used as slurs, lesbian has been used as a slur, that doesn't make people who identify as them bad people. i would tell them that you respect their preference to not be called that word, and that you're sorry it's been used against them, but that it has a lot more meaning than just one context and it means a lot to you and you deserve to have your lesboy identity respected just as much as they deserve to have their preference respected.

#reign replies #lesboy #lesboy safe #pro lesboy

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

for me, being a lesboy isn’t about being a lesbian and a boy separately- because im not a boy, im a lesboy. im a boy because im a transmasc butch girl. im a “boy” in the sense of getting gender euphoria and validation from being transmasc and seeing transmascs, but not in the sense of actually being a boy, and im a butch in the sense of girl in a boy (transmasc gender euphoria) way. so im a lesboy!!

#mod reign #lesboy #lesboy safe #pro lesboy

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

I love the lesboy label so much as an ftm enby man!! Growing up, it felt like i needed to sacrifice being a lesbian or my trans identity to be seen as 'valid', but no label seemed to really fir me and it made me really reluctant to join communities without omission. Lesboy gives me so much euphoria because i love sapphics!! My kissmate and me are sapphic!! I'm just not a girl nor femme!! I love being called man terms and a boy!! -Unlabeled aroace Tomato Lesboy who is a Man + Enby !

that’s so wonderful anon! ai’m happy you found your way to the lesboy label :D

also, may ai ask— what does the term Tomato Lesboy mean? (/genq) ai love finding new lesboy terms so shdheibrfh just curious, feel free to ignore this bit.

- (🌸) Mod Ender -

#diary entry #mod ender

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

hello! i have just recently (aka yesterday) let myself identify as a lesboy. i have known i am m/f multigender 4 awhile but ignored my masculinity & changed it 2 be palatable to be a “real lesbian”. i have a long way 2 go 2 fully accepting myself but i really REALLY appreciate lesboys & turigirls being so nice & accepting

anon you’re awesome and you’ve got this!! i hope some day you accept yourself more but for now i just wish you happiness!

#mod reign #the lesboy diary #lesboy diary

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

I only recenty found the lesboy label and it actually brought a lot of surprising euphoria for me as a pangender intersex straightbian! I got a lot of questions for it at first, people saying "you don't need to use it, so why use it if it'll only make you less accepted" and things like that, but something about taking a commonly feminised label and putting boy- after it actually makes me feel really validated and androgynous and I'm going to continue using it!

that’s awesome!! that’s a really cool way of putting it, i hadn’t thought about it like that before and i think that’s pretty cool :3

#mod reign #lesboy diary #the lesboy diary

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

everyday that lesboys are here is a day worth living

anon you’re so right

#mod reign

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

a day without lesboys is a day without light

omg youre so right

#mod reign

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

i got called lesbophobic for asking someone why they had lesboys on their dni but identified as a boydyke. do you know if there's any sort of distinction between the two? i had always thought they were pretty similar

hm, that's very strange to me. they are similar, but a boydyke isn't necessarily a lesbian so maybe that person was just against lesbian men, not men who are dykes? idk, either way that person is a dumbass lmao. both are perfectly valid identities.

#mod reign

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

thanks to a friend, i’ve recently figured out that mesque lesboy. and while i still struggle w the fact that i can’t be too public about it as i’m afraid some people just won’t be that accepting of me, the label makes me happy. i feel like a cat who found a box that i fit in.

congrats on finding the labels that fit you most! im sorry it’s still not a good place for you to be out, but it’s great that you found your figurative cat box :3 keep being you!

» (🍯) Mod Ender

#diary entry #mod ender

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

God sometimes the most INFURIATING part of having to defend your identity is just the objectively bad arguments of exclusionists. Like not from a exclusionist vs. inclusionist standpoint. From a debate skill standpoint, more often than not exclusionists just have really bad arguments.

Like today I got a message on insta asking why i used the label lesboy, saying that it was harmful. And then i explained: this is why I and other people may use this identity, here is a brief history of the label and lesbian exclusionism in the 70s, and here is a resource that further explains why peoples identities are complex as well as give more historical references!

And there reply to that was “but its annoying when you try to change the definition.”

Ok but… WHY is it annoying? WHY do you feel like this label is harmful? WHERE did your current definition of lesbian originate from? they only gave a statement and gave no logic or proof to back it up.

I do not understand how people can be given loads of factual information and history, and then turn around and say “no.” How can someone claim to be an accepting individual if they are so ahistorical that they cannot even argue their own opinion?

that’s what’s so frustrating for us, too! it feel like arguing with a brick wall. i appreciate those to ask questions in good faith but i’ve mostly encountered people looking to start arguments.

hopefully the community will sort itself out and stop with all the in-fighting, but that seems like a laughable hope most of the time. 

i hope you’re feeling alright all things considered. for every exclus there’s a rad inclus making lesboy stimboards. (/lh)

#diary entry #mod ender

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

Helloo, I just found out I'm a vincian/m-spec lesboy/lesboyflux!

I want to thank this blog for helping me and introducing me and educating me about the term!

Ya'll are awesome, keeo it up ^^

that’s amazing! we’re so happy you found labels that fit. those are actually some labels puppy personally uses.

so sorry we just got to this ask now. things have been incredibly busy for us recently. we’re getting to all of our asks currently. thank you so much for your patience, as well. :3

» (🍯) Mod Ender

#diary entry #mod ender #doll-b0nes-999

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

People with complex identities are amazing

People who use contradicting labels are amazing

People whose identities are confusing to others are amazing

Acespec and arospec people are amazing

Mspec lesbians are amazing

Mspec gays are amazing

Turigirls are amazing

ALL QUEER IDENTITIES ARE AMAZING!!!

And you don’t owe anyone an explanation of your identity!! You don’t owe anyone conformity, your identity is beautiful and you deserve to be proud of it

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

Hey, call me Sparrow. I recently discovered I fit the label of lesboy. I'm going to be medically transitioning with testosterone soon, and I plan on presenting mostly male in the future for simplicity's sake. However, I'm a nonbinary lesbian, and while I'm not very closely connected to being a woman because of dysphoria, the lesbian label has been very important to me in conquering my internalized homophobia over being attracted to women as an AFAB person. I don't plan on telling anyone I identify as a lesbian, but I take a lot of inspiration from butch lesbian women who also transition(ed) and/or present(ed) in a masculine way.

hi Sparrow! thanks so much for sharing. I’m glad you’ve found the terminology for you and have sorted out what works for you! i hope you know there is rich history to identities like yours and you are wonderful!

#diary of a lesboy #the lesboy diary #lesboy diary

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

reminder lesboys are stronger than god shoutout to us

[diary-of-a-lesboy]

lesboys aren’t valid <3

oh no <3 it’s too bad you’re a 12 year old worm otherwise this ask would’ve really huwt my widdwe feewings

#mod reign #anon maybe if you kissed some less cishet ass you’d calm down