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dipdyedsilence-blog · 2 years

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Encebollado

Here we go with another story of a failed experienced with the male species, but this one is the worst lol. I have come to realize that writing is truly where my energy is best released. I completely forgot that i have a whole series to look back on about how much i hate men. This one though, i gave him a year of my life. Well, a year and some change. Maybe one day we will make a podcast or write a book about all of the experiences i have had that have made me who i am. Hopefully i can look to this one day and laugh, smile, and remember how far i have come. I met encebollado through a friend that i had at work. The same work place where i had met Tarzan believe it or not. It was a passionate affair im not going to lie. I had no interest in encebollado at the beginning. He had reached to his cousin basically in love with me and begging him to meet me after seeing him throughout his social media. I was never interested in him because at the time i was still in the hurricane that was Tarzan and had been dealing with school and just a lot of change and uncertainty. I went on a date with him though and i had the best time. I felt an immediate connection. We went to dinner, we went out dancing, we jammed in his truck to Versace on the floor, and we just enjoyed each others company (im crying lol). I dont really remember too well the timelines. But it is funny to think that you can connect with people on the level we had, and then have them simply leave your life like they were never there in the first place. After you have invested, yes invested, so much time and energy into them and building a relationship with them that you should hope would last forever. But ANYWAY, i am detaching from the story. One of my first memories with him also was one of the first times/ if not the first time i met him. I was working that day and his cousin kept calling me over to his table. I was working cashier so i was not very present on the floor that day but he kept calling me and would not leave me alone until i came to say hi. I went over there and was introduced to everyone. It was my friend, his other cousin and his wife, and encebollado. I remember him being so nervous to speak to me, he barely even looked at me. i remember thinking, tf is wrong with this dude lol. So bold over the text messages but when im infront of him, he did not even look me in the eyes. Nonetheless, that was the start of our story. Me, being me, i ended things with him after the firstish date. I had felt he was very jealous and i did not like that. I liked him, i enjoyed our time together a lot, but i was not about to get into a relationship with someone who was jealous and insecure because i know myself and the loyalty i can bring. So we ended there. Maybe a month later, if not a little less, i saw him again. I went to his cousins house and we were watching a movie. Encebollado came in with another one of their cousins and a friend drunk as hell (and yes, they have a lot of cousins). I just remember that day really wanting to follow my heart. He came up to me all sweet. I could tell he wanted to sit next to me but he wanted to give me my space, so i called him over. Then after that day, it all really started. We would go out, we would dance, we would go get dinner, we would spend the night with one another ***no funny business*** and just simply enjoy one anothers company. It felt amazing, i was so happy. He treated me so well and i felt myself opening up to him. He asked me a couple of times to date one another, but i wanted to take things slow. then the tables turned and i wanted to be with him and he wanted more time, until one day, he asked me to be his girlfriend to which i obviously accepted. I was so happy that day too. I had been battling with whether or not i wanted to open myself up to someone and i decided to take the chance with him. After all, he gave me hope in love. He had shown me what it was like to be loved and cared for right. And i loved that. He was my person at the time, my best friend. Yeah we would have little arguments or moments, but it was all natural. It was nothing i was concerned with because i knew we just were two people with very different backgrounds. We just needed time to understand one another. I know with him what i felt was love. The main time i felt like maybe we werent meant for one another was around my birthday. He had just started his new job, he was frustrated, dealing with a lot of stress, and we would bicker a bit. I dont know if i psyched myself out into thinking he didnt care about me or what but i just remember thinking, whatever he does for my birthday will prove his love for me. And it did. This was the first year that i did not cry on my birthday in a long time and that was all thanks to him. He surprised me, made me feel so special, treated me with so much love and care that i was amazed. Fast forward some more to his birthday... I really tried my best to make him happy and make him feel special but for some reason i guess i had failed. I had gotten him so many cool things that i thought he had loved and appreciated but i just remember that night him going off on me for God knows what reason. And i really thought it was going to be over that night. We had a flight at 4am the next day to go to miami and i was not looking forward to it. But we went, we had a good time, or at least i think we did. I do know there was tension, but i had a good time. He kept saying he had never taken anyone on a trip like that before and how he had a great time with me. But i didnt feel it. And i will never know if that was from my own hurt, or if there was something wrong. Fast forward some more to the week before my graduation. I find out about some bad news with my family and he was with me the day it happened. He comforted me in the way i needed. He just hugged me and let me cry. Thats all i need, is to be hugged and allowed to cry. And for the first time in a long time, he comforted me in the best of ways. Not even a week later we have a big spectacle. I was crying one day and asking him for some reassurance and he just blew up on me and wanted to talk about breaking up. We spoke later that day for NINE hours. Trying to adjust our situation and talk through it. I cried more than i feel like i have every cried that day. and im not going to lie, i begged him to stay. And in hindsight, it was not the best choice. Next day we went to the beach and had a great time. You would have never thought the hours before were consumed by tears. The weeks after were great, he was loving again, he was romantic, he made me feel loved like he used to. One day i was feeling down, and he brought me flowers and wrote me the sweetest card. I will never forget how loved and thoughtful that was. Now i realize that should be a bare minimum. I got sick a couple of weeks after the fight and for some reason i feel like everything just really went downhill from there. I went from feeling like the most special, loved, and luckiest girl in the world by my partner to feeling like i was annoying, an inconvenience, and depressing. And well, that lead up to our break up almost two weeks ago. I can make that another story, but yeah, here we are. Almost two weeks after him and i have parted ways and i can at least say the sadness is more bearable. But a part of me feels like i am just used to being sad right now. The difference is this time that there is definite hope that i will come out of this sadness instead of the faulty hope that he would get better and take away the sadness. I am taking it a day at a time, allowing myself to express and feel and learning to love life again. I still miss him. i miss our memories, i miss the person i was once in love with, and i miss my best friend. But i have come to realize that he was not that person for a long time. and i was struggling to hold on to a person who did not exist anymore and that was why i was so sad. I would rather live in the past than accepting the reality that he was not the person he used to be. And yes, people change and it is natural, but they should always change for the better, not the worse. And unfortunately in this situation, it was the latter.

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 3 years

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Adding on to the tales of my poor experiences with the male species, i have met yet another one that has me dismembered. This one, for the sake of discretion, is to be named Tarzan. Now, we can begin by noting where Tarzan entered my life. I began a new job recently. About 4 months ago. In which he has been working at for a while. Our introduction to one another was a little odd. But that only added to the appeal. He and i continued on with this little game that i am not going to lie, was fun at the time. Until... as you guessed it. I got very invested. Oh and let me mention. Tarzan has a girlfriend in his native country. Something i often times forget, or at least wish was easier to. Like i said. It began fun and light hearted. Flirting here and flirting there. Nothing serious. Then one day we go to one of our coworkers houses and he kisses me for the first time. And let me tell you. It was hot. And i mean it. I have not had that tension with someone in i think ever. And from there things escalated and we are at today. I am an invested mess who is going to have to cope with him leaving for a month + to go home. And i cant help it. My head overthinks like no other. And i dont know why i am such an anxious mess. I know i love him. I have accepted that shitty ass reality a long time ago. But i just wish that it could be a better kind of love. One without stress and one that wont end in my heart breaking because i know this one will. It will either end in me having my heart broken or just disappearing from his life forever because i dont know how much of this shit i can take tbh. This must seem like a very shitty story telling, and it is. But i just dont know what to tell yanno? Like do i tell how much i love him? In a way i have never felt? Its a fire in me that aches to be with him all the time. But the the water that kills that fire and doesnt let me let it burn because i remember he has another. Its a constant conflicting feeling because i want to love him with all of me and everything i am, but i cant. Because he cant. And i love myself enough to respect myself and know that i deserve more. But part of me of course! Hopes he comes back single and wants to be with me. And only me. Because i do want him. And thats the truth. I want to be with him and only him because he is enough for me. But i dont think its the same for him. And he cant show me that. Even if i want him to. And even if i try to get him to. Maybe im stupid for continuing to put myself in this situation. Maybe i am just an idiot for giving him a chance just to have him ruin it. I just have hope for things that i can not control. And that sucks.

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 4 years

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Lil spoon updated

Lol here is the update no one asked for. Turns out like most men, he proved to be trash. At the end of our like 2 monthish thing, i had confessed my feelings to him saying that if he wanted to date id be fine with it but if he didnt that would be okay to. Im just the kind of person who is very open so to me, not confessing, was eating at me. But yeah as you can imagine he ran for the hills after that even tho im pretty sure he liked me back and he just didnt want to date anyone. Using the excuse of work but it is what it is. I knew him well enough to know he had feelings for me but i also knew he wouldnt want to date because he is young blah blah. Fast forward i dont see or hear from him for months. I text him after the summer is over (the breaking off things happened at the beginning of summer) and ask him if he wants to go get food. He says yes and we go to get food. It was fine, we didnt really say bye at the end we kinda just walked away from one another and it was kinda weird to me. I asked him to eat because i wanted some closure on my thing with him. As you could tell from my previous post. I liked him a lot lol. And the fact that i got pretty much ghosted, made the situation worse for me at the time. Anyway yeah that casual dinner thing was alright. I felt better. A couple of weeks later i start dating this guy i was talking to for the past month (Ill give a story in him in a bit) and that lasted like 8 months. We were exclusive too like bf and gf if that isnt clear. Anyway. Me and lil spoon share happy birthdays on each of our birthdays and he never really engaged in convo each time so that was left at that. I broke up with my bf of 8 months a couple of weeks ago. Then lil spoon texts me days later and is just like hey. Im over here like wtf. What does he want. Yadayada. I have a theory that im cursed with men so this whole random hit me up caught me off guard. Anyway i go to his place a couple of days later. And we go get food and he pays for me which i was like already kinda weirded out by. And then we go to his place and he finishes a few things for work and im just watching tv. He comes next to me and i can obviously tell what he wants im not an idiot i knew why he probably texted me in the first place and why i was going over to his place. But yeah time goes by of us just chatting a weird tension in the rooM and then he kisses me on his bed and things escalate. Then in the middle of the escalation he just stops and is like i need to take a shower. And im like. Uh wtf. Like you have to be kidding. And he goes and takes a shower and im like uh wtf lmfao. But yeah he comes back and we just cuddle (like a little little, it was hot) and sleep and im like over here like wtf just happened. Before when we are just hanging out before the escalation and whatever. He keeps mentioning things about us and how we met a year ago, what i was wearing, what he did kinda in the past year, how he overworks, and just random things. He stared at me in the way he used to, which was the look that made me know he cared about me. And when i would ask what are you looking at he would say me and i would be like well stop ruining the moment lol. But yeah he is weird. We basically talked through his problems a bit later in the night and i feel bad. He seems lonely. Happy but lonely. But yeah thats the recent update on lil spoon. He has been texting me still and when when i try to be dry in my texts he comes up with more convo which is how i know he is lonely. But yeah idk. Probs will end soon but as usual keeping you updated;)

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 5 years

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lil spoon

Lol this is a story about lil spoon and conehead. Right now im procrastinating studying for my final exams by typing out a story about a lil spoon. anyway. at school we had this event. less call it a frats rodeo okay. this event was a weekend long thing. i went the friday night and the saturday night. both of which with different groups. also very last minute bc i had planned on not going at all. one of my bffls from school up north came for the weekend and i had told her to come with me and my group on the friday night and we went and had a tonnnn of fun. so the next day, my friends and i made the impulse decision to go again, this time my bffl wasnt there bc she had to go back up to school ( which was sad but if she was there i wouldnt have met lil spoon!!). so we went again on saturday. my group lowkey split a bit and my friend sunshine and i were together for most of the night. sunshine and i were a tad bit, hydrated... but not crazy levels, just substantial ones. anywho. we went to the frat tent that we had attended friday night bc we had already paid entry for the weekend. but sunshine and i werent having fun tbhhhh. soooooo my friend from ms was performing at one of the places and i wanted to say hi, she ended up being at this tent RIGHT INFRONT OF to the frat one i was at the night before and that night. and they were playing spanish music and a bitch (ME) loves that shit. soooo we went into that tent. thats where i met this dude. CUTE AF. i had walked in and seen him and was like, huh. he a cutie. and he looked at me and i was like huh he think im cute too. coulda been the hydration but its fineeeee. so i see him some more and its all chill and shizzz. then i go up to him and am like “you are really cute” and he just goes “thank you”. BITCH. LMFAO. THANK YOU?! i was like hahahahahahha okayyy. and that was it. so hahahhaaaa i was feeling awk but it wasnt that big a deal. i thought it was funnyyyy. so i went with sunshine to get more water and lil spoon apparently comes up and asks sunshine my name but i dont remember that. and then he gets my snap bc im like, text me bc i thought i had to leave. turned out i didnt, and i came back to the tent where lil spoon was and saw him and started talking to him more. and we played beanbag toss or somethin lol. and then we went to the bar on campus bc he wanted to and then we sat by the arch building and talked for a phat minute. he kissed me and lol tbh it wasnt that good hahah. but i imagined he was rusty sooooo i let him be and we kissed more and it got better. i told him “i aint having sexy time with u tonight so if u want that, you must go elsewhere” and he was like okay lol but he stayed with me. and i slept over at his casa. and it was nice and dandy. we cuddled and it was niceeee. and we ate bfast the morning after and it was niceeee. and it was overall a super fun time and i enjoyed it sm. and then we didnt talk for a couple of days, and then he snapped me RANDOMLY when i was planning on texting him that day bc i wanted to hang and he hadnt texted me after what i thought was a nice time. and tehe he asked to get food. and i was like teehehhehee yes. so we had food, and had a good timeeeee and then we went to his place. dat time we did sexy time and it was goood and he was so nice and i died pretty much. fast forward to now. we literally saw one another everyday for the pst month since then, minus a couple of days here and there. but out of the whole month and a half i probably saw him 85% of the days. and like we vibe so well. we had a fight tho like last week but we resolved it now. and i think everything is good. he is busy for the next three weeks doe. and ngl. im kinda :( but its okay. hopefully everything will be like normal when he is back bc he is the first boy i have liked in 5ever and yeah.

peace! shall keep you updated.

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 5 years

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Lolll why do i do this to myself

Hello im finna rant abt my night in an effort to get over it. So. Theres this dude lets call him alejandro. He is mighty. Fine. And one day he decided to put his phone number on my pizza box. I didnt recognize him at the time. This was in mid september. Its december 5 rn btw. Like when he put the number on the box, i hadnt seen his face but i was like. Ehhh lemme entertain the idea. Ok so i texted him right. He was funny and we small talked. Then he kept asking to meet up, and me being the weenie i was, i was hesitant nd would make excuses. So one day he just didnt respond anymore and i was like ok its chill. Bc i thought he just wanted a fuk and im not like that lol (hypocrite). Fast forward like at least 3 weeks later. (So me and my bff here would go get pizza at this place b4 our bio tests. So the first time i went nd got the # was before our 1st bio test. This fast forward is the day b4 the second bio test). So we go in nd get our pizza and we chillin. Btw i completely forgot abt this dude. Nd i didnt even know what he looked like so i didnt expect what came nxt. So i get up to get water and this low sexy ass voice comes up behind me and says my name. And me being dressed so gross look at him and am all confused and shi. He explains who he is and then im like oh fuk he actually hot lmfao lemme actually pay more attention (Shallow ik but it be like that). So im like fuk fuk he fine. He tells me that he lost his phone and so he lost my number or whatever. He is a fuk boy so i didnt trust anything he said to me and i still dont. But he asked for my number again. And i was like sure i got nothing else to do. So we talk and end up meeting up after his shift the next week on a tuesday i think. Its like 11 at night too and we go out. I looked good tbh and he just came from work. He was "nervous" or whatever lol and i still didnt believe him bc i know his type, aka saying anything to get in ur pants. But again, i was just being entertained by him and the idea of him. Bc have i mentioned that he is hot yet? Well yeah. Reason enough to entertain haha. Ok so anywayyy. He is like "i had a few drinks to loosen up a bit bc i am nervous and u r so beautiful" and i was like lol ok ma dood is rlly tryna get somewhere. I met him with no intention of having sex. So like i was just laughing everytime he would be like that. He was like i have a dog and that hooked me in. He was like "we can go to my apartment so you can meet him" and i was like uhh ok hahahhaha just cuz i wanted to see the dog. (Yes im big dumb ik but he seemed chill and i didnt think he would take advantage of me and anyway i know how to fight and wanted to see his dog). we went to the bar he works near cuz he said he wanted more drinks and he had to give some dude something. We were sitting at the bar and all of a sudden he gets a call from someone named "lola" with heart emojis and kissy faces. So im like uhhh tf lols. I make my friend call me and i change her name in my phone to "antonio" with the same emojis. And tell her to call me in 5 min. So when his chick called him he grabbed that hoe and silenced it and put it in his pocket. I ignored it bc i didnt want him to think i was looking. Then she kept calling until he said he needed to take it and he went outside. So when he got back i got my friend to call me. When the "antonio" pulled up on my phoen i turned it around real fast and put my phone away. I didnt know if he saw it but i felt content. (Petty i know). We kept talking like normal, no mention of two names. So we finally got in his car to go see the doggo after an hourish. Side note. So he wanted to fuk me. I could tell very clearly. But i still said no. He asked to kiss me in the car and lemme tell you. This man KNOWS how to fuking kiss. Dam. He asked me and i was like ok then do it. And ugh worst choice of my life bc i literally dream of his kisses. Ok so we drove to his appt. He was tugging on me, pulling me by my jeans belt loops to his actual door step when we got there. Fuking hot af. Dam. And he was just being so sexy the entire night it took so much to be controlled. On the way to drop me off i asked him if he had a gf. And he was like no. And he asked me the same thing and i said no too. Then i said dontchu lie to me. And he was like u either. Then i wAs like im not lying. THEN HE ASKS "WHO IS ANTONIO THEN" and im laughing inside bc im like this bich rlly saw after less than a second of it pulling up on my screen. So i ask "who is lola" then we both just sit there. I couldnt say antonio was a lie bc technically i was talking to a guy named antonio we just werent official. But ok so that was the intro to that whole issue. Later when he was dropping me off...( we stayed in the appt for like 20 min btw, i saw the dog and we brought him with us and he changed bc he smelt like pizza from work) so he parked his car and basically we made out for hours in the trunk of his car. Again. Great . Kisser. And so am i hehe so it was fun. Ok so the next couple of days we hung out doing the same thing for hours and on that thursday we went out out. Aka. I got dressed up and we got drinks. He is older too so he bought me drinks and i got tipsy. He was smoking he hotboxed his car like a stupid when we were parked. The security guards showed up and asked if everything was good and they smelled the goods and i got so scared lol bc i was drunk and there were the goods on school property. But it was all ok thankfully they just asked us to move. So he moved and we didnt go to that spot again. But when he dropped me off he was lying to me. He told me he didnt have a gf but he was still doing gf things with lola. I told him i didnt care as long as he was honest. But he was lying so i got annoyed and left the car. He pulled me to come back in but i didnt let him. I went to austin that weekend so i didnt talk to him then. So i texted him bc i was in a mood and wanted to kiss him bc its addicting and we hang out that next week. Same thing. We park the car. Make out intensley in the back of his car. Get near sex but never there bc i dont trust the dude that much. THEN WEDNESDAY WHEN WE HUNG OUT. WHEN HE DROPPED ME OFF. HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME NOT TO CATCH FEELINGS WHICH MADE ME MAD. SO I LEFT. By this time we had talked abt my view on relationships. He knew i didnt want one and that i just liked kissing him. Plus i knew that he had lola nd i am not in the buisness of competing for a relationship i dont even want. I just liked him for sex things, in no way did i want more. Which he knew bc everytime we hung out we would make out yeah, but also talk bout shit. He told me that lola apparently thought they were dating just cuz she assumed so but he nvr asked her out or to be gf Nd bf so he didnt consider them exclusive but he didnt want to tell her upfront bout me to spare her feelings. (Stupid logic. Ik) but imo. He digs his own grave, if he doesnt mind being in that complicated position, imma use him for his good kissing nd buying me things. :). Ok so that wednesday he said that shit to me was halloween btw. That thursday i textd him to hang bc. Well yanno. He told me he was busy but he would let me know.ME BEING A DUMB ASS WAITED FOR HIM. But to no avail. He didnt text me back and i felt like shit. So i made my friends go out with me and i drank nd danced my sadness away. Fast forward a week later. Since he didnt text me that night i was like fuck it im not texting him nd he obvi didnt text me like the lil shit he is. Then a week later i get a mf text. from LOLA. She is like. " hi im alejandros gf and incase u dont belive me here are pics, i just wanna know what u guys did" nd i was like lmfao dafuq. She sent me actual pics of them nd i was like uhhh ok sis this is so randome, i hadnt talked to him for a week by that time nd i thought i wouldnt talk to him again. I texted her back saying sorry nd tat i didnt kniw they were dating dating bc he nvr said that. Had i known they were exclusive i wouldnt have messed with him. I responded nd she blocked me? After she saud it was ok or whatever. I didnt say abything rude so idk y i got blocked but anyway. I figured she blocked me on his phone too just cuz thats what she seemed like she would do. Even tho i wasnt gunna text him lol i didnt feel comfy seeing him again anyway plus he told me he was going to europe soon anyway so i wasnt concerned with talking to him at all. Fast forward a lot more to yesterday. December 4. More than a month after i last talkedto him. I thought he was in europe. I was straight chillin. Got finals this week. I went to the coffee shop i always go to.( Which happens to b right by the pizza place but again i thouggt he was GONE GONE and didnt expect to see him ever again tbhh. He made it sound like he wouldnt come back from europe So i knew what we had was a fling which is what i had wanted. I just wanted it to last longer than 2 weeks which was why i was a lil upsetty when he hadnt answered me that thursday.) So im working with my friend carter and im talking bout our oral final then i see alejandro walk in nd talk to the coffee shops owner who i had known was his friend but alejabdro dont like coffee so i double nvr thought id see him in the coffee shop. I literally panicked bc i hate suprises like this. I literally knew he was there but didnt say shit to him. I kept working with carter and when he walked out ( since i was sitting by the door already) i looked up at my friend but didnt make eye contact with alejandro. But he saw me for sure and he slowed down a bit too but didnt say shit. I was meeting my girl squad at the coffee shop later anyway so to see what happened i suggested we all get pizza and split it before we started working. So we went in and i was nervous as fuking heck so idk why i even suggested going there. But anyway. Lemme give names to the two girls out of squad who are the most relevant for the story. We got amy (who i changed contacts name to antonio. She is my bff here) and claire who is one of my better friends too and had known abt my situation with alejandro but who has never seen him in person like any had. (Amy was with me the night he put the number on the pizza box and the other night i saw him for the first time). Ok soooooo he brought my friends our pizza when it was done but i completely ignored him and didnt make eye contact bc im a lil bich haha. And i was tryna avoid him. He literally was staring at my friends. At me. Bc i was facing away from him (thank god) and everytime id look to the side to claire to talk i saw him there just watching me. I needed to refill my water so i waited till he wasnt leaning against the wall staring until i made a run to the water machine. So i run there fill my water and all of a sudden i hear his deep sexy voice. (Fuk i had missed it lmfao). He is like "i get out at 9 can we talk i want to explain it to you. Me and lola had a big falling out and i want to talk to you abt it" i was like fuk fuk. Amy was there and amy dont like alejandro no more bc she thinks he a cheater so i was scared at what she would do to me if i went bc she is very agaisnt him now. But either way i said yes bc i wanted closure and im adumb bich. So i kinda nodded and walked back to my seat. I had drinken regular milk at the coffee shop earlier and im lactosentolerant lols and since i was already hella nervous i had an awful stomach ache so i decided to go to my room. He literally ran after me and was like "yo can we please hang today like i missed you" (lol right) and i was like yes we can whatever blah blah blah. Amy ran after me to see if i was ok and i was like ya im fine. So i met with him later. He picked me up and we went to the bar and drank some. And smoked some. Then went to his appt. I told him from the begining no sex again. And tbh i thought he stopped talking to me after halloween bc i didnt wanna have sex with him. Even tho that thursday i texted him, i was literally planning on doing it but he didnt text me back. So. Anywayyy we went to his appt he explained his fuk up. We had a freaking great time. And i literally hate it bc he knows what to do to me and its amazing. We were supposed to hang out today too but he never called me. And i would have texted him but my number is still blocked in his phone. Either he is stupid and didnt undo it on accident ( which i think is more likely bc he said he wanted to see me again and how amazing i am and blah blah blah) or maybe he just dont want me anymore lmfao. Either way. I wanted to see him today and im big upset that he is a lil shit bc i want my mf fling and to get attention in that way. So yeah. He is still a great kisser. And he leaves for europe on the 16th and my surgery is on the 18th and i cant kiss no one or have sex for a long ass time after that how so i wanna fuk around while i can yanno. Esp with him. So idk what imma do. Uhm yeah. Also he literally shows up again in my life when im just over it or when im super horny. And idk why tf this happens. It makes me so mad bc its awful timing and im just pulled right back in. At least on the 16th im saying bye forever and thats great. Ok story over if i remember more i will update. :)))))

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 9 years

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remember last year when we thought miss canada’s costume was as canadian as it could get