divinerapturesys

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Googles advice on how to write an apology

“Show empathy”

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Good bad dreams

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”I want to know your headcount” “I want to know who’s fronting” so do I, get in line

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So we definitely need more positive representation of DID, but you know what would be funny? Mildly inconvenient representation of DID.

Oh the world is ending and you need to know about this one specific thing? Yeah I have a guy for that but he doesn't feel like fronting right now

Sorry what's happening rn is this the bad guy? Yeah I just switched in idk what's going on

I know you're dating one alter but we're currently co-con with another alter who hates you so idk how I'm feeling rn

And just who do i think I am? It's funny you should ask that I actually don't know right now

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some people don't get introjects

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one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.

you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.

most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.

it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.

and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.

past, present, and future.

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ASPD and Remorse

Did you know that only 51% of people with ASPD lack remorse for their actions? That means nearly half of pwASPD experience a sort of remorse or empathy. Though lacking remorse is one of the criteria for diagnosing ASPD in the DSM-V, it is not a requirement for diagnosis (if you meet other criteria).

In a study, those with ASPD who do lack remorse showed a difference in the presentation of their symptoms. They presented more overtly, which means they are often more aggressive and confrontational, as well as more overt conduct disorder (CD) symptoms in childhood, compared to pwASPD who do experience remorse. PwASPD who lack remorse were also younger, and more often reported a familial history of drug abuse.

It is also important to note that lacking remorse did not have any notable differences between men and women, and was not associated with cruelty to animals. What they did find, however, is it the symptom is associated with more severe ASPD presentations.

So why is this important?

This is very important to help us understand and acknowledge how differently ASPD can present in people. I constantly see people only talk about lacking empathy/remorse when it comes to ASPD awareness or positivity, when in reality, only 51% of pwASPD qualify for that criteria. A lot of people with ASPD experience their own type of remorse and empathy. It doesn't make them less worthy of consideration or support, and we should acknowledge all of the other symptoms and issues regarding this condition rather than only empathy.

[source]

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how people on the internet look at me when i tell them i don’t care about anyone else’s feelings other than my own and will always care more about my own experience and what benefits me, before caring about the experiences of others.

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Alters coming out of dormancy after several years:

A couple people recently started fronting again. No idea why, but our party is growing.

–John

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You know what I hate about being an alter in a system? I only have so much time out in the body but I have so many hobbies. I can't read every book I want too or play every game I want too because the limited free time we have is split up between us. It's gonna take me forever to finish my reading backlog.

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Plural Culture (traumatized in general) is never knowing how to properly add trigger warnings because you've become so desensitized to everything that you don't know what's seen as needed, or what's doing too much

And half the time you don't even know how to tag it any way because "can I just put general tw? Do I need to specify which type of abuse is occuring? Is what's being said even clear/graphic/whatever enough for people to realize unless I add the tw? Would adding the tw make it worse??"

And then regardless of all that you still end up posting something that's apparently massively triggering, with no warning, because you thought it was just normal life stuff and then you feel bad about it but all you can actually do is just add the needed tws and apologize

*this is not an apology post, apologies from us will be much more clear if they're needed, this has not happened recently, but it's something that's been on our mind a lot

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[Text: This alter wishes they were a separate person sometimes]

Like/Reblog if you save or use

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Tips for Cluster B Anger

~ coming from someone who has BPD and a psychology special interest Have you been feeling like your anger is completely uncontrollable and all encompassing? Do you feel like your anger controls you more than you control it? Me too! But here are some things I've found to be helpful: - Taking notes. Write down triggers for what causes your anger episodes (as well as other episodes e.g sadness or paranoia) once you come down from it and start looking for a pattern. Not only will this help you to slow down and self reflect, you can begin to either avoid those triggers or find ways to regulate the effects. - SLOW DOWN. If something is making you want to hurt someone else or yourself, slow the FUCK down. Push against the grain, step back and let yourself have a good cry or scream into a pillow. Do whatever you can to (healthily) process the emotions, no matter how long it takes, before making major decisions. - Avoid self harm, substances or unhealthy habits like disordered eating or emotional self harm. It's so tempting, believe me, but it will only serve to make things worse. You might feel like you want it to get worse now, but in the future, you WILL regret it. If you start feeling these urges, refer to the urge surfing diagram below this. - Get outside advice. Think you're splitting but you can't tell? Run the situation by a close friend or loved one and see how they feel about it. Try to relay it with as little bias as possible and see if they agree with the decision you're about to make or if you perhaps need to reevaluate some things. - Take care of your heart. I know this is cliche, but a good sleep schedule, hearty food consumption habits, hydration, exercise routine and mental health care go a long way in helping you succeed in the above tips. You are struggling with an illness, and ill people need as much care as possible. Become your own parent. This works for anger in all Cluster B personality disorders, as well as with autism spectrum disorders! Urge surfing:

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When you split super easily so one minor inconvenience causes three new pests in your brain

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"mental health matters" people support DID until you ask them not to talk about a triggering topic because it puts you at severe risk of harming yourself / others because who might front

"mental health matters" people support DID until your symptoms and headmates are:

- unappealing to them

- concerning

- make you or others unsafe

- scary

- or just "weird"

"mental health matters" people care about DID until you tell them to stop spreading misinfo and stop supporting endo "systems" and tulpas

"mental health matters" people don't actually care about DID.

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Heyyy! Could I ask what so-called "BPD systems" are? I've never even heard of this...discourse (I assume it is a topic of discourse on the net) and just found it very odd since pwBPD already experience secondary structural dissociation so why would people feel the need to label themselves as systems?

It’s something I’ve mainly run into on Facebook ngl. It’s people who believe that having BPD made them form a system and that they are a system created from BPD, not from.. trauma. That’s abt it really. It’s mostly adults that we have interacted w on Facebook that have claimed they have BPD and are a system because of their BPD.

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Hey, so I’m a prosocial person who stumbled onto your blog trying to figure out what it was like to be antisocial because I have never heard about antisocial people from their own mouths.

I saw you mention an “exception” whilst reading. What is that, if you don’t mind me asking?

Welcome! I can happily explain that for you.

So essentially, an Exception is someone that a pwASPD (person or people with ASPD) experiences less or less severe symptoms around.

If a pwASPD has an Exception, they may have some amount of empathy toward them, enjoy or at least not feel drained by being around them, feel some remorse or guilt for wrongdoings that hurt them, and/or genuinely miss them when they aren't around. They may be more inclined to follow rules if encouraged to do so by this person, or be responsible/not impulsive solely or mostly for the sake of not negatively affecting them. A good amount (but not all) of pwASPD who do seek treatment choose to do so on the recommendation or request of an Exception. Things that commonly feel like they have no value for many pwASPD like physical affection, staying within boundaries, sugarcoating things to avoid hurt feelings, etc. may suddenly have value if they are for the benefit of an Exception. Sometimes, while alone with their Exception, pwASPD will feel so "normal" that it causes imposter syndrome and makes them question if they actually have ASPD or not. This is normal and does not mean they don't have ASPD.

Other specific symptoms tend to be worsened for some pwASPD when it comes to their Exceptions, because they feel overly vulnerable with them. They may experience increased impulses to harm them (emotionally or physically) during times where they feel harmed or abandoned by their Exception. Exceptions also tend to be pushed away and detached from for seemingly no reason by pwASPD during symptom flares. This comes from the trauma associated with a poor attachment to caregivers - basically that affects how our brain forms attachments and causes us to see close, loving relationships (as one would have with an Exception) as fake and dangerous. Our brain believes that feeling safe with someone is proof they are going to hurt us, so we may lash out.

An Exception can be romantic, as I would say is most common, or platonic. Many pwASPD call their Exceptions their "best friends", but never feel like it quite feels like it described the closeness well enough before they're aware of the term. Some pwASPD who had one good caregiver may have said caregiver as an Exception, which may have helped them avoid conduct disorder diagnosis and/or treatment early on because they listened to and respected one authority figure. This was the case with me, for example. I've talked to more than one person who's Exception was their therapist. Anyone in the life of a pwASPD can be an Exception,

As of right now, this is a phenomenon noted by pwASPD but not researched and reported on by professionals, unlike the favorite person (FP) in BPD. Afaik, I believe the term was separated on request of pwBPD as there was some controversy over pwoBPD (people/person without BPD) using that term even if they were also cluster b.

Some pwASPD who don't have have experienced their professuinals referring to the same thing we refer to as an Exception as a favorite person/FP. I would consider this inaccurate both out of respect for the wishes of pwBPD but also because it's not really the same. Favorite People exacerbate the symptoms of a pwBPD, while Exceptions mostly ease the symptoms of a pwASPD. They're different enough that I would want a different term even if pwBPD were ok sharing the term.

I hope that helps! Feel free to ask any other questions you have. Thank you for listening to the voices of those of us who have ASPD. /gen