do-what-we-must

[do-what-we-must]

May 2022

waldesgeist

[do-what-we-must]

https://www.pinterest.com.

[do-what-we-must]

musk mallow

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[do-what-we-must]

French Vanilla Cake

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[do-what-we-must]

I did something ‘bad’ (talked about mom extensively and honestly in therapy), and since then I’ve been having an even harder time in the bathroom. I mean the difficulties have always been there, and they got worse three months ago when I finally accepted that my mom had been sexually abusing me

But all last night anytime I needed to urinate it felt like something was penetrating me painfully. That same splitting, filling, sour feeling. I couldn’t dissociate from it. I was crying on the toilet because I couldn’t get away from it but I desperately needed to go. I went to bed in tears, shaking, unable to cope with it all and conked out pretty quickly. Thats not normal for a Dosy, we generally don’t cry like that

More nightmares about mom. Mom and her malicious incompetence and my dealing with police. Mom’s desk that’s in my storage unit. Choking. Penetration. It feels like she’s able to punish me for talking from far away

I dont know what this all means, the penetrative experience in particular. I thought that was a chris thing, but all this is specifically mom flavored. What was she doing to me? My body knows. It always has. I don’t want to think about it

#dosy 2 #i need to get in touch with my brother about taking the desk #i thought i wanted it but i dont think I should take it actually

[do-what-we-must]

Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm.

-- John Muir

[do-what-we-must]

Hello May,

please be good to us and full of better days, laughter, happiness and amazing things 🌿🪻🌸

[do-what-we-must]

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A cottage life moodboard

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– Audrey Hepburn

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Septembermahd | KRAUTKOPF

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Another walk through the countryside. 💚🌿

#little falcon

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A slowly collapsing prairie home.

#very extremely accurate in vibes and style #the farmhouse

[do-what-we-must]

[do-what-we-must]

i am becoming more myself. do you know what i mean? doing anything at all, trying and failing and recognizing myself as an alive human being is all i need to do to grow into the woman i will be