dont-ask-about-my-words

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

   I want saying that I didn’t forget write here, but I was very very busy. I started with my classes at the University. I don’t go to the university but I’m studying on the computer all the time, so when not I’m reading and writing ¿about/of?University, I don’t want to write or study English, because I’m so so... sleepy? Yes, sleepy. And then when I say that I’m not writing because I was thinking that It’s not a positive thing to write and write and write and no have a progretion on my vocabulary because I’m always saying the things with the same words and I’m never studying new words and I think it’s... I don’t know how to say a lot.. this is (what) was i’m talking about, that I don’t know many words, yes. 

   And this is my first time trying to speak while I’m thinking and I’m not reading nothing. And I don’t know how to say nothing, it’s nam nam nam (wtf) I’m upset. And I know that my brain needs a lot of activity to start to think and talk at the same time. It’s not easy but I need to do it! Because, it’s necessary, Idk. So, I dont’ have nothing more to say, you know, because I don’t know how to say nothing really. 

   But I’m really thinking all the time that I need to study more English, yes yes, but ugh... Yes, goodbye lol

While I was writing the things that I said I was thinking HAHAHAHHAHHA my god I need to study more. Help.

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Today I’m with the reading of “Who has the ability to make the news faster... and who will win?“. A long title that I don’t like but we have more important things not to be liked. So here you are

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Who has the ability to make the news faster... and who will win?

Hello again. I don’t have anything to say. So I'll talk about my grandmother’s day.

She woke up at 7:30 am by my mom, because it’s time to take her medicine. Or maybe I need to say, one of her medicines. She consumes about 5 pills. One is for her heart, and she takes it since around 20 years. And the rest are for typical old pain like osteoarthritis and blah blah.

So, she takes some of the pills and went back to bed. What i know after that is- when I woke up around 3:30 pm - she was talking alone like always. And my mom was far away trying to not hear her. So I asked my granny to take some food. She was happy. So this is what we did.

At the evening, we started to watch tv. She said to me: “You, listen and tell me, ‘cause sometimes I don’t understand what are they saying”. But, I really don’t care about the news. They are always talking about irrelevant things. Yep, because all the people are in their home, and they’re not fighting, stealing, and all the things that probably the news want to talk. So, what are they talking about?

Well, they need focus on a new dramatic thing. We all know Covid-19 don’t affect kids really. So, who is the population at risk? I know that you know the answer. It’s old people... is my grandmother. 

So well, my work on these day is try to make up any speech for her. ‘Cause when all the tv is talking about that old people can die... I think that the people in the massmedia don't have old near family. And I think about all the old people who lives alone, without a granddaughter like me with the patience to reassure them. And I'm tired of handling the news in a nimble way, burning my brain to say: Oh, the older women aren't really dying. All who die are men who have smoked throughout their lives and have other previous illnesses.

But, this is why I studied a lot at the high school, and now at the University. I knew beforehand that this would happen. So I have the ability to manipulate the reality of television titles. Could it be that I just developed this ability to take care of my own grandmother from our everlasting friend called TV?

At night, I my granny fell asleep as always. And when she woke up, she didn’t know where she was and started asking questions out of place. I’m trying so hard to know that this kind of moment is more and more natural... or isn’t it? Well, I can't take her to a hospital, so please, God, give me some strength.

I want to close for now, because I need to go and prepare a tea. It’s time for her to take the last pill of the day and go to sleep again.

#diarytext

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

my fifth cup of coffee has gone cold while I was trying to record this audio

But, now you can hear me trying to read “I wanna try to say something...”

5/5/2020

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

I wanna try to say something...

Hello I know you are there. So, if you wear glasses, please put them on now, because what I’m trying to say is very important. I need all your attention.

It’s hard to say this but, it’s completely necessary. And I'm not trying to be funny like I always be. Or what? You never laughed when you read me? No? Oh, I'm very disappointed now... of you style of humor. Come on, I'm a very fun person. Why didn't you laugh at my stories? Don't you know that it's not easy for me to write fun things in another language? So, I’m waiting... Imagine that I'm putting my ears in your direction. Why I still can't hear your laugh? Wait, why are we fighting? I’m here to tell you something very important and you are trying to distract me of the objective.

Huh, ok. Let's start again. I don't know what happened to me. Maybe I am too nervous. I'm going for my fourth cup of coffee now. And, oh my god, I have no time. Maybe this text will be publish one day late. Sorry, because I know that you are very strict with the schedules. Please don't be mad. I’m trying to write as fast I can. Did you see that I use a lot the verb “try”? If you didn't see what I’m saying, you can go to my old posts and see it with your own eyes.

I was thinking on that. I’m always saying “I'll try this..”, “I tried to do my best...”, “I'm trying to.. I’m trying, I’m trying, I’m trying...” Maybe is because I never sure of what I want to do, and I’m going around on my life trying to do all I can and trying to know what I want to do. And, it’s no so different when I speak on my native language. I’m always using the same verb a lot of times. 

I've been thinking, I’m always trying to justificate that If I make an error, well, all it’s OK because I was TRYING. Maybe, it’s all about that I don’t want to make any errors? So, I will never say in an imperative way: “Hey, I will do this and I'm sure of what I’m doing, I don’t care the result”. But everyone cares about their results, right? This is why everyone is fighting and competing with each other. But what about people who face this situation differently? I’m talking about that people who don’t want -or don’t like, or even cannot- deal with this characteristic of the society. Am I part of this second kind of people? Or maybe, if one day is necessary, I will be like all the other people, fighting for win the best place? I don’t want to being scared of society, I want to be what I want, but at the same time, I don’t want to be like them. Is that possible? But, you know what is my response now... I will try to do my best. Because It’s all I can do.

But, sorry, I started to write this post trying to say another thing... But,

What was I trying to say?

#diarytext

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

aaaaaaah my mom started doing the dishes and I couldn't focus on reading well

But, all it’s ok and I do my homework again, reading “Is my family native of...?”

I’m started to ask to myself... when I will see a progress on my way of read? and of couse... on my way to talk  :( on these hours I’m feeling a little bit anxious and I really didn’t like the way I read. But, I think that is so important to make natural audios and accept that I’m very bad on my pronunciation haha *laught to not cry*

4/5/20

#diarytextaudio

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Is my family native of...?

Today is fouth of May 2020, 

And in my English class I learned about "Family Members". Then, I started to think... Is my family native of...?

Always, it's a long answer to make. Because I need to explain how I am the result of a great mixture of races. When people see me, they have very different opinions about my image. Some people say that I am a kind of "European" white girl, and others say: “lol absolutly you are not”. So, I don't know exactly how people see me. I’m never sure, and this is so frustrating. It’s like when you make a mixture of many flavors of ice cream and the result is: ice cream that doesn’t taste like anything.

My dad’s mother is German, and my grandpa is Italian. My mom’s father is like a result of Arabs and nordic people. Can you see what I’m talking about? For the last, my granny is a mistery... My great-grandmother's origins are the native communities of South America. But ... we have a story there. We don't know exactly who his (her sorry) father was. My grandmother never wants to talk about it. But my mom investigated. And she knows he was probably from Spain. At that time, when the Spaniards arrived and decided to "make children" because nobody told them they couldn't. Hahaha But, things change when you see that my grandmother has the face of a Chinese woman hahahaha. Then, we’ll probably never know what the truth is.

But the story I am telling you is not an original story. Many people probably have the same family history in this country. And when I think about it, I feel better. And I also feel a lot of fun. ‘Because I am the result of many crazy people going around the world: some who fall in love and get married. Others flee from wars, escape because they have no job. And, of course, others who we really don't know who they were, because they were probably in life trying to do what they wanted without control and "making children" with innocent young girls. It's crazy because, and I'm sure, these people probably never thought that someday in the future, the result of their entire lives, it was me, writing about them on a blog that no one is reading.

#diarytext

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

no one: 

me: I'm so lazy even to travel through time

Reading: “I will be very busy”

I continue with the suffering of reading in English. I’m still doing my homework, can you see :D

I SAID APRIL BUT WE ARE IN MAY, SORRY, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO COUNT LOLOLOL

3/5/2020 

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Reading: “I will be very busy”

I continue with the suffering of reading in English. I’m still doing my homework, can you see :D

I SAID APRIL BUT WE ARE IN MAY, SORRY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COUNT LOLOLOL

3/5/2020 

#diarytextaudio

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

I will be very busy

3/5/2020

Today I learned about how to say the date of the days. Now I know that UK mode is like mine, but the US is different. They use first the month and then the number of the day. I think that is confusing to me. So, how you know, I’m too lazy, so I will use the UK mode lol.

I said a lot of times that I’m lazy. And I have a problem now. I’m scared. 

I have to do like 5 subjects for the University. I received the email today. My dad said: LOL, you can break a record this year and do all these subjects in no time.

I want to die now. Please help. I cannot do that hjkajghjskdhjad *explode*

Well, I will do my best.. but I really like to sleep. How can I give this up?

It’s not all about of this five subjects... I'm afraid about how to manage my time to continue my studies of language. Because I need time to practice this too. And I’m not only studying English... What about my Chinese class? I don’t want to forget all I learned. And, being honest, I feel more happy when I study languages. But, in this world, It’s very very very important to have a University major. My life depends on it.

On this days ((or maybe I can say “These days”)), I read some people saying that “the world is different now, and the kinds of things that were in the past, don’t have sense now ((meaningless))”. But, what about the future? Aren’t they thinking about the next months? Sorry, we don’t know the future, but I think that some kinds of things will not change. Maybe even everything will be more demanding. Life has not taught me to be optimistic, so it has created to me pressure and an obligation to try to prevent things. I don't want to be "asleep on the laurels"... As much as I like to sleep. How ironic.

Well, I’ll continue trying to do my best. Although I don’t like to study how to use at, on, in. How lazy...

#diarytext

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Wow My friend decided to make this project too and I’m so happy. I wish you a lot of lucky! And I want to say that the both of us don’t know how to use tumblr right. I used it when I was 15? hahha So I need to investigate it all again omg 

What is Tumblr ? I don't know, but I created a Tumblr to me because I want to practice my English and Spanish. So I'm going to speak a little bit about me. My name is Geanderson , I'm from Brazil, I'm 21. I live with my parents in a home. I'm studying English, Spanish and I have started to study France. I want to be a polyglot, it is a dream to me. To finish, I want to thank my friend Jazmin, because she recommended to me the Tumblr.

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Reading “ How to do nothing in quarantine tutorial - failed “, 1/5/2020

Omg this audio was not easy to do. It’s like my brain and my tongue don't work good together so I needed to do it 2 or 3 times to make something not so bad. Maybe because I’m really in mood: Yup, I will not do nothing productive today don’t bother me.

#diarytextaudio

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

How to do nothing in quarantine tutorial - failed

1/5/2020

Today we start May! What a better way to start a new month like I do.

I woke up at 3pm, I didn't read for the University, I didn't take lunch, I didn’t take a shower, I didn’t I didn’t I didn’t...

So around 5pm I asked to me: What I want to do with my life? I need to do something or I will regret it. On that moment I knew it instantly. I want to make my hair purple... So, everybody say hello to my new style hair. 

It's not took so much time to do it. Now I’m happy, but I’m heavily trying to give my hair some nutrients again. I know a little bit of what I need to do, ‘cause I like very much this kinds of things. In the past my hair was in different colours. So, I’m not scared at all to make some mistakes. And it’s more comfortable to know that I can do whatever because I never go out of home. So, If you always wanted to make a new style of hair, this is the best moment to do it.

The thing is that I don’t know why, because today I slept a lot of time, but I’m feeling so.. sleepy? I promised to continue with this project, and I’m here. But I don’t have so much... I don’t know how to write it... I don't really want to write.

But well, I did one thing today, isn't this enough? hahah Don't be scared, I will take a shower, before to go to sleep.

I’ll write tomorrow! :D Goodnight

#diarytext

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

This audio is me reading my  #diarytext “Will I go to sleep early today?”

It’s the second post of my project to practice more english. It wasn’t easy to me, some words I never pronounced it before hehe. But, this is the object of why I'm doing this.

30/4/2020 I forgot to read the title lol

#diarytextaudio

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Will I go to sleep early today?

30/4/2020 

I don’t remember how to write the date of the day lol. I mean, probably it’s like: first the month... and then the number of the day... and what about the year? Well, I will know on the next days. I’m sure.

- 

Yesterday I didn't go to bed until 5 am of today. I was reading a not easy text of the University. I’m so frustrated about this, because I can’t undestand any word of what the author is saying... And the author wroted it in the same language as mine lol 

To not lose my natural hour of sleep, my plan was not going to sleep in the entire day ((my plan was not to go to sleep all day)). But, when the clock marks the 4:30 am, I say: lol I’m too old to do this kind of things, I’m a weak!!!! goodnight and googbyeee. 

The real thing is that I’m only twenty-three years old... I’m not old, for now... But, I’m so lazy and I said it on my first post. This is a characteristic of mine.

About 9 am I woke up and frankly I didn't go out of bed haha. On the last days I can’t sleep well. My grandmother is more and more old and she talks in the middle of the night.  HAHA and you can hear her on the audio of the first post!!! She is eighty-three years old and since she turned 81 years I could see big differences on her. It’s not easy to see a human being more and more old, but I can say that I’m so happy to be with her. But, I want to repeat that is not easy. What I want to really say is that I will not regret of having this time of life with her. And is more important for me to know that, she wasn't alone... Because yes, I’m the only one that understand her, the other members of my family don’t see that people don’t live for ever.

We’re in times of quarantine, so it’s not the best time in life to keep a diary, because you know ... I’m not going anywhere and I don’t see my friends. Therefore, I am trying to do my best to continue writing on this project.

Well, I want to close for today saying that now It’s too late at night and I don’t have any plan of going to sleep again.

#diarytext

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

This audio belongs to the reading of the introduction to my diary to practice English. This content is not intended to be seen by anyone. So don't be curious, but if you are, you shouldn't be rude to me for the quality of the content.

#diarytextaudio

[dont-ask-about-my-words]

Daily diary - Hello to my new project

Last week I started to study English. I finished the Simple Past, but if you can read this on different tenses is because maybe I didn’t forget some things that I learned on high school.

The thing is, I’m seeing some videos on Youtube. I follow a special channel of a men from London. Sorry, I wanna say “man”. I can’t remember the difference between men and man. I don’t want to have this types of problems with the language anymore. This is why I’m doing this. Well, I’m very surprised that I can write a lot now. How can I do this? lol This, these, that, those... Yes, I need to remember the difference of this too.

Well, what I want to say is that I saw a video on Youtube. It says that is good to write a diary at the end of the days. So, this is what I’m doing now.

I wanna say that I’m so lazy and I don’t know how much time I will can resist it hahaha. I will write like if sombody else will read this, but -please- I really don’t want that. Well, the right thing is that If you are reading this, I don’t care. It will be bored. So, what the f... are you doing here? Don’t you have anything more to do? lol But... If you want... You can stay. It’s not a problem.

I want to close this cap... wait... I need to search...

I want to close this chapter making an advertence...giving a warning. I’m seriously thinking on publish some audios reading my dairy post... You know... to practice this kind of things too.

Ok, I will write more later. Bye.

#diarytext