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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Human body, can't. Not ruining it with drugs or whatever else you two insert yourselves with. I hardly even drink. Except for that one time.

What can we do, you look the part. And how do you get that blood? Do you... kill people? Dry them up?

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

Softy. He’s legit concerned about everything. It’s cool. Me and him are like Bonnie and Clyde or Donkey and Shrek and FYI, no matter what he says, He’s Shrek, not me. I’m putting onions in his stocking. Get to know him, he’s a blast. He’s also the most fun when high as a kite. We were playing music together the other day. He’s a real good writer. You should start coming to my parties Steph. You’re missing out.

Why does everyone always think that of me? I can’t be bought. I’m picky. Janus totally thought I was being serious the other day when I made some dumb joke. It was hilarious. I really think he thought I was a prostitute or something. OH OH OH. One time I totally made this dude believe I was a therapist and gave him a session. Another time I got some guy to believe I was an optometrist. People are so fucking gullible. Too fun. But eh.. no no. This body aint for sale. I deal in blood Steph. I’m a class act model A citizen. Do gooder. Didn’t you know? I help all the puritan vamps out that can’t seem to stomach biting on their own. I’m a service to the community I am. I should get the good samaritan award. If you know any, throw them my way.

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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...It's a he.

You can't sin. And killing people... it's almost impossible for a vampire to not do that when they're new. They just lose control. But even then... I don't know, if Heaven accepts vampires at all. I hope they do, anyways. There's this one girl... she's one, but she's so good, I can't picture her going to Hell, she doesn't deserve it. She's like sunshine in a teapot, and I do mean that as a good thing.

No, I haven’t met her. I don’t know if I want to either. And just because she looks like Barbara doesn’t mean she is anything like Jeannie. But I suppose it’s the thought that counts.

Bloody Ethan, I’m going to throttle him for the lie then. Bastard.

What do you have to do to keep out of going to Hell then? Or more like what can’t you do?

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Nah, I think you can find something else to poke him with. He looked legit concerned about it, give him a break.

Client? What do you mean? God, you're not also in the vamp prostitution thing, are you?

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

pft. The button lies.

Ah yeah, well, yeah. The whole bitten thing. He didn’t know? heh. Good lord and fucking hell. Poor kid. He’s young though. I should make fun of him next time. Because I do things like that. Thanks for the ammo. Sounds like me might be a potential client to me. But I think I might corrupt his adolescent brain power and turn him into a mini-me. I haven’t decided yet

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Well, popcorn is really complicated. Having to press one button on the microwave can prove itself to be very challenging.

Yeah... I met him once. Kinda had to tell him he doesn't have a quota.

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

I never really learned, like even before this life I mean. I’ve never done much cooking. I guess I went from too taken care of from being too young to too broke to have to have enough food to try to learn anything cool, then about the time I could have learned and thought I had my ducks in a row, well… that life ended and obviously I just didn’t need to after that. Me in the kitchen would be a very bad idea. I wouldn’t trust me. Hell I’m lucky I didn’t burn Lola’s fucking popcorn. I was pretty proud of that one. And Hah! Can’t believe I’ve had this nose thing wrong all along.

Well yeah, he’s my bro. We have a tendency to get wasted together. Cutie pie little blonde dumplin’ dude. Yeah I know him. Why? How do you know him?

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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I already said I'm sorry, I thought we were past that.

Now you're just making no sense. I haven't damned a soul since I got mine back, nor have I killed anyone. History is past. I have done bad, but I'm not that person anymore.

Of course you don't; you don't know me, and you're not willing to start to.

Well it’s the only real thing I know about you that seems to stand with any consistency. Aside from your penchant to lie.

If it was torture for you then why was it so easy to spread salacious lie about me? You of all people should know that sex can leave as deep of wounds as bonds it can create. Tell me, if you were so tortured, how it reflects on your character to use even so much as the rumor of promiscuity and sexual activity as a weapon? Did you think it was funny? Or cute? It was a disgusting thing to do.

Now, you’ll shortchange me if you know my history, but I do still recall that He is a rather big fan of effort. I have wondered long and hard, Miss Kimble, and yielded few results. And I hope with all of my being that I’ve simply miscalculated because I believe you can be worlds better than what my opinion of you is. Mistakes are only permissible if one attempts to correct them and owns them as well. You’re human, but blood stains between species. Your soul may be restored but does that necessarily make it new? And do people with souls who damn others, who bleed them dry and send them to God sooner than their time get a free pass by virtue of that soul? You may have gotten that soul back but it is has not expunged your history entirely.

I don’t think that metaphor fits. I think you know that a pretty face doesn’t mean a pretty heart. And that you’ve realized that that if you have a pretty face you don’t need a pretty heart.

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Well, then you've got yourself a great excuse not to taste my food. You're not missing out on much, I can't cook for shit. No, noses are only there to make you not look like Voldemort.

Jamie? You know Jamie?

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

Potatoe Potato

Well it gets pretty fucking stuck and doesn’t feel so good. I prefer not to gag and barf. I’ll leave that to the bulimics. You know, something to do with being dead, heart doesn’t beat, digestive system sucks beyond all reason, things like that. It’s all whatever. I’m used to it now. But, I do taste stuff though sometimes, when it smells really good. But that’s what noses are for Steph, smelling and a sniffing. Jamie called me a bloodhound the other day. I like the analogy.

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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He wanted to take you shopping? That's so... dad of him. Or pimp. Scarlett, if I find out you're a part of some secret vamp prostitution group...

And I thought he still had a bit of pride.

I don’t know, but I’m more than excited to find out.

No, I’m scared we’d indulge a hidden passion he had! It would make sense, he always offered to bring me shopping. The cheeky bastard wanted to see if he’d fit into my shoes.

I think he’ll do it, purely because he’s too stubborn to say no.

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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I can think of many words to describe you, but I'm not sure if 'adorable' is one of them.

Well, but you can. Sure it won't satisfy you, but... there's still the taste? Smell stuff... that's not creepy at all.

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

Others have called it adorable. I like your description better.

That’s what online shopping is for. But you know I don’t really eat crackers right? haha. Or anything for that matter. At least not anymore. But I do like to smell stuff. Cheese-Its rock.

#....when i was vegan i used to smell food i couldnt eat #only now i realise how weird that is

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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I don't remember saying that.

Sex can be many things. It can be just fucking, it can be a connection. But to some people, and I'm sure you know to who, it's a meal. For me, at some point, it was torture.

I'm sure you know God doesn't expect perfection. People have flaws, I know I have mine. People make mistakes. But did you ever wonder what's good about me? Have you ever talked to someone who isn't against me? It's easy to have a view of me when you've only heard one side. I didn't get my soul back to become a saint, I got my soul back to become human. Humans, like I said, have flaws. Make mistakes. But if he wants to see my hands, all he has to do is ask. They're clean.

Think of a fine jewelry in a very ugly box. Assuming what's inside is as ugly as the outside is simple, if you don't bother opening it.

Are we still supposed to be going on pretending that was the most exciting plight to ever be fought in our lives? With all your years, Miss Kimble, you ought to know that even infamy fades.

You obviously had quite a connection, yet you walk around with this hardened shell over yourself and preach how sex is just fucking. Now you turn a new leaf in order to defend yourself? I don’t know your views or thoughts because they change nine times over in any given conversation.

I’ve heard many things about you, Miss Kimble. I don’t assume as many things about you as you give credit to mere assumption. I hear things about you from the others in town and I give you the fair chance to prove or disprove what I’ve heard without labeling you as such with no definitive proof on your end. Yet I hear constantly of your flashing of false power, your manipulative ways, and the types of individuals you have connection with. With such continued behavior was the trial worth it? Is your soul really the factor that makes you clean when Peter asks to see your hands?

Well if you’re so unmoved by this interaction than I suppose neither am I.

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Did you really start this conversation just to attack me?

So, someone bought all this candy...

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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You're like a baby man-child, and it's hard taking care of you.

I don't think we have Cheez-its in the UK. You're so american.

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

Damn my patience. haha

I like Ritz and Cheese-Its. Stock up.

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Maybe I'm just not as good at it as you are, or I'm immune to bandaids. Or the wound is too deep. Well it will keep hurting, then, 'cause you're not getting those lips near me anytime soon.

Only if you don't get the crumbs all over my sofa.

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

That’s true. I can be impatient.

Yeah but even if you realize they are, it’s ok as long you’re still pretending. At least it works for me. Ok so maybe in quiet moments it still sucks. I just make sure I have as few of those as possible.

Hmm. They aren’t? I know that fucking feeling too. That’s where more pretending comes in. You have to use your imagination as vividly as spongebob or just doesn’t work. Hehehe, but just so you know what your problem is though, hehe. You didn’t let me kiss it better before I slapped it on. It’s your own damn fault.

But, yeah maybe I do. You gonna feed me crackers?

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dontcallmestephanie-blog · 11 years

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Tomorrow is already November, it won't take long.

I'm starting to like pretending, too. But some people will always be able to see past it. Well, you can have mine. Bandaids aren't quite doing it for me.

Now that just makes me wanna call you Poly.

Private Talk Tristan & Steph

DEAL! That is so a deal. I will be the fattest most jolly red man ever. You’ll see. I might even put an antler on Jabba’a head like the Grinch did his dog, just because… well just because that’s fucking funny! Such a deal. I’m holding you to that. God damn Christmas being so far away. gah.