dramatic-arthoe

[dramatic-arthoe]

I am way too messed up to be alive rn.

[dramatic-arthoe]

"And then I found out how hard it is to really change. Even hell can get comfy once you've settled in".

Bring Me The Horizon, "Hospital For Souls"

[dramatic-arthoe]

i love how i will complain about the pain of ripping tape off my skin but i will cut myself without a care in the world ?? make it make sense

[dramatic-arthoe]

[dramatic-arthoe]

how other people treated you wasn't your fault. you didn't deserve it. they made that choice themselves and you aren't responsible for that

[dramatic-arthoe]

[dramatic-arthoe]

abusive parents: if I don’t get what I want, I’m going to yell, throw a tantrum, cry, guilt trip, emotionally trigger, threaten, shame and use force to get my way

abusive parents: my kids don’t get their way? If they even complain or look displeased I will make them regret they’re ever born

abusive parents: there’s only room for one side of this relationship to act like a child and it’s going to be ME

[dramatic-arthoe]

people will see you have scars and be like i’ve made an observation. they’re there

[dramatic-arthoe]

abusive family activities:

inventing new things to criticize and humiliate the scapegoat for

planning events without ever telling the scapegoat

yelling at scapegoat for not working on these events

preforming to be a ‘nice happy family’ for guests and neighbours

putting more energy in entertaining others than caring for family members

talking about all the people who are 'worse’ than them and how good they are in comparison

asking scapegoat for favours

criticizing scapegoat for never being good enough

bonding over mutual joy of humiliating and putting down the scapegoat

rejoicing in how much better they all are than the scapegoat

joining to have family fun while excluding the scapegoat to show they’re all happy without them

lashing out at the scapegoat as soon as anything goes wrong

directly blaming the scapegoat for any other family member’s abusive behaviour

emotionally manipulating the scapegoat so they don’t leave, convincing them the more abusive members 'care down deep inside’ and 'show it when scapegoat isn’t around’

rejoicing in traditions of abuse to point out how things have been worse for people in the past so the scapegoat should just get over it and get over themselves

joined gaslighting to drive the scapegoat insane

passive-aggressive remarks to provoke and aggravate the scapegoat, only to play victim few seconds later, knowing other family members will side with them

telling the scapegoat 'you are abusing us, actually’

taking out their frustrations with each other on the scapegoat

using scapegoat as emotional support then turning their back as soon as family bullying gig is up again

aggressively downplaying, ignoring or downright trashing the scapegoat’s success to feel safer in their own lack of accomplishments, putting scapegoat 'back into place’ to convince them they’re worthless still and it was mere luck or a mistake or 'not that hard to do’

playing their own accomplishments up and expecting scapegoat’s admiration and support

acting 'holier than thou’ and throwing 'you see? This is how I…’ speeches at the scapegoat to affirm their superiority and capability

making fun of the scapegoat for not knowing a piece of information that was never available to them

catastrophizing on what would happen to the scapegoat without the family, trying to terrify them into staying out of fear for survival

arguing and yelling, causing drama, nastily attacking each other and fighting to be the 'main authority’ or 'getting their way’ or to be prioritized in every case

only ever agreeing on one thing: that the scapegoat is incompetent, a burden, undeserving of attention or support, irredeemable, fair to bully, and guilty for all of this

[dramatic-arthoe]

abusive parents be like, everyone shows their love differently… my love,, comes in form of ptsd,,.

[dramatic-arthoe]

*lines up my mental illnesses* okay which one of you is responsible for this

[dramatic-arthoe]

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either

[dramatic-arthoe]

abusers will go “i would never do that” while doing it, having done it, and planning to do it again

[dramatic-arthoe]

Because I was avoiding having to make the call and explain how I can’t afford to pay the hospital bill for my suicide attempt, it’s passed the window for me to get financial assistance. I’m about to be paying a monthly bill for the next 6-8 years. That’s a monthly reminder about why it would have been better if I was successful.

[dramatic-arthoe]

i was supposed to move home for a month or two while i wait to hear back about a job and get paid again. now im not welcome there because im seen as the cause of all the problems. im the master manipulator and if i move back home that’s apparently me trying to cause drama and turn everyone against her. so i went from having a stable, rent free option, to needing to find a place to live that i can afford and allows Nezzie and she will be safe

[dramatic-arthoe]

“Do you ever lay in bed and realize how not okay you are?”

— Unknown

[dramatic-arthoe]

u r not an asshole