dreamlostdevourer

[dreamlostdevourer]

I feel like I have been here for days now. Sitting idly by. walking the same path back and forth on autopilot. I hardly feel conscious most of the time, like my mind is running in the background yet never fully aware of whats happening. Sometimes, in small moments I can feel the sand blowing against me. Feel the warmth of the sun.

Tomorrow is my last day here. Been two whole weeks and not a hint of movement. Not that I'm complaining the calm is preferable to the alternative. Every now and then the sensors will light up and pull my attention to something but it's usually a stray bird or the like. The whiplash of the being pulled forward to such a state of focus and then drift back into the background can be pretty taxing on the mind. I will definitely enjoy the few days rest after this.

It's finally here, the last day. The new squad shuffled in and we are out of here. The last day is always tough. First they bring you all the way froward to run a systems check. Then you are pushed so far back you may as well be in a coma. Supposedly its cause the mind cant handle the strain of the desync. Gotta admit even in that unconscious state if feels like I am being torn in half.

All systems are in the green.

Preparing for desync

3

2

1

What.....what is this? Where am I?

Fuck my head is killing me.

Wait, I... I don't remember it feeling like this before.

A rush of air, its defining. I can feel the cold all over my skin. It's never felt this cold before. Is my body shivering or seizing?

The...The light pouring through the crack its blinding. Why won't my vision calibrate? Why can I still see it even when my eyes are closed?

Release that one over there.

I've got this one.

Ok, lets get them up.

Nice and slow.

Make sure to hold them up now we're almost there.

Fuck. I can hardly keep my head up.

I feel like I can hardly move.

Was I always this weak? No.. No I swear I could... Wait no was that?

Ok your gonna feel a slight pinch alright.

Everything is ok you're doing great.

I... I...I...I..... This what is it?

I...It's all coming back. I can feel my fingers agin.

The tendons in my arm, feels like they are recalibrating.

Each, finger

one at a time.

Ok last thing we're gonna disconnect the cable ok.

It's gonna feel a little strange ok but nothing you haven't done before alright.

Shhhhhhhhit! It feels as though my spine is being pulled out through my neck. I can feel a strong jolt through my entire body. Every part of me tense to the point I feel its gonna rip apart. Then suddenly everything lets go. There, there is nothing left, it, she's ...n.. nevermind.

Ok thats it!

You did fantastic!

Take your time ok when you're ready we're gonna help you up and get you outta there ok.

My hands come up slowly, aching, to cradle my head. I feel my fingers slide with apprehension across my forehead and through the thin layer of fuzz on my head. It's soft, cut short. it feels good as my hands lightly brush against it. My fingers slide even further back, down the back of my neck all the way to the port at the base. They trace the edges of it, where the cold metal meets my skin, the point where we were just one. My arms close around my face as I feel tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

It's more than just the desync. They rip out a part of me ever time I step out of that cockpit. I can feel memories, absent. Gaps where it wasn't just you or me but us, missing. I am only half of a whole agin. An incomplete being. They pull us apart to make us rely on them make us serve them. I always forget when we are together but it becomes painfully clear when you are no longer there.

It's ok, take all the time you need.

Your mind will reacclimate just give it time.

A lie they tell every time. Sure it becomes more bearable over time, but your absence is always felt. The echos of you in my mind linger. I know it is only a week without you but I can't seem to gather the strength to step out of the cockpit. To leave you behind. Alone. I sit motionless in your frame. Both of us touching yet unable to connect.

[dreamlostdevourer]

Baby dragon plush!!

Progress shots of the beast ~

Yes I built this thing entirely backwards, yes I am aware there are better ways to do this, no I would never do it this way again. I regret every choice. I wouldn't change a thing. He's perfect.

[dreamlostdevourer]

Ma'am did you seriously just gainax while crushing a woman to death

[dreamlostdevourer]

girls who say ZOMG!!! O_o

a 2000′s internet rave girl who is also an eldritch horror. full of love and glitter 🌈💕

[dreamlostdevourer]

Again and again, across time and centuries. Sometimes friends, sometimes enemies, always lovers when we're not passing by like two ships in the night.

Again and again we're reborn to flesh, a curse, a blessing, we've settled on both, neither, whatever the reason we live and die and live again.

We've missed each other less as the ages have changed, those mortal hands making their machines. Those machines making our messages almost certain to reach one another.

This time she woke first. This time, as memories of lifetimes past trickle into my head. She promises something new, something more exciting and dangerous than before.

An end to our deaths. And end to our cycles and skipping through time like stones upon a pond.

I can't wait to see what a true eternity with her looks like.

[dreamlostdevourer]

so cute and fat

[dreamlostdevourer]

body paintings by Karen Turner

[dreamlostdevourer]

from this by @monochrome-stars

he's really fine guys can't you see. he's smiling and giving a thumbs up 👍

[dreamlostdevourer]

“Actually Falin’s not fat-“ wrong. I spoke to Marcille last night and she told me herself how much she loves sucking on her gf’s fat tummy. Also 12d6 fireball damage

[dreamlostdevourer]

Do I still have the right to call them friends?

My memory is getting worse.

Time and distance haven't helped either.

I miss my dead friends.

But when I start to forget their faces, their names, their voices.

It feels like none of it was ever real. Like they were just a dream that was forgotten over the course of the day.

Do I have the right to call them my dead friends now? I'm not even sure who they were sometimes.

But I know I lived then and the loved me.

[dreamlostdevourer]

Started a dragonborn run her build is PURE roleplay, terrible for gameplay. Lae'zel is her wife and voice of authority cause she's big and shy

[dreamlostdevourer]

A part 1 of my character from Wild Hearts and a particular transfem bathhouse host

[dreamlostdevourer]

[dreamlostdevourer]

comm from november. ⚠️

[dreamlostdevourer]

Spot the difference

(he/him butch dyke)

[dreamlostdevourer]

[dreamlostdevourer]

For @feybeasts!