dyingthing

[dyingthing]

         “  LET THE SCAFFOLDING INSIDE OF ME BE STRONG ENOUGH TO HOLD THIS              TIRED BODY UP —  ”

#⋅ self promo ╱ sit on back and watch me crash . ❜ #benji's here now

[dyingthing]

pssst.  this blog is being archived! benji is being moved to @scaffoldheld !

#⋅ psa ╱ if you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma . . . ❜

[dyingthing]

possibly maybe should've mentioned before, but i'm leaving for florida tonight, then going on a cruise and gonna be unavailable for like a week. gonna be kicking it and hanging out with my best friend and it's gonna be great. i may be on until like. sometime around 4 on saturday, but honestly don't expect me after noon tomorrow bc i'll be hanging with my best friend and i'm honestly just so excited.

#I. completely forgot to make a hiatus post bc I am an ahdh gremlin so have Kate's #hanging out with my best friend for the next week so if you need me hmu on discord #⋅ ooc ╱ the human equivalent of a trainwreck . ❜

[dyingthing]

  some  one  word  prompts .    (    send   one   of   the   words   for   our   muses   to   interact   based   off   that   word   )

goodbye :  my  muse  kissing  and/or  hugging  your  muse  goodbye.

secrets :   my  muse  sharing/confiding  their  deepest,  darkest  secret  with  your  muse.

nightmare :   my  muse  coming  to  your  muses  aid  when  they  awake  from  a  nightmare.

push :   my  muse  pushing  your  muse  out  of  the  way  of  danger.

embrace :   my  muse  abruptly  throwing  their  arms  around  your  muse,  hugging  them  tightly.

bloody :   my  muse  coming  to  your  muse  with  blood  stains  on  their  clothes  and  hands,  shaking.

drunk :   my  muse  takes  care  of  your  muse  while  they  are  in  a  drunken  state.

bed :   my  muse  wakes  up  in  the  same  bed  as  your  muse  with  little  recollection  of  the  night  before.

slap :   my  muse  slaps  your  muse  across  the  face  out  of  anger.

gone :   my  muse  stays  by  your  muses  side  while  they  take  their  last  breath.

scream :   my  muse  hears  your  muse  scream  and  quickly  runs  to  their  side.

sleep :   my  muse  falls  asleep  on  your  muse,  making  it  hard  for  my  muse  to  leave.

stalk :   my  muse  gets  caught  by  your  muse  trailing  behind  them,  watching  them.

sacrifice :   my  muse  jumps  in  front  of  your  muse,  sacrificing  their  life  for  your  muses  life.

trail :   my  muse  watches  as  your  muse  traces  one  of  my  muses  scares,  asking  them  about  it.

love :   my  muse  confronts  your  muse  about  why  they  never  say  ’ i  love  you ’  back.

piggyback :   my  muse  jumps  on  your  muses  back,  my  muse  gives  yours  a  piggyback  ride.

jump :   my  muse  runs  to  your  muse  and  jumps  up,  my  muse  holding  yours  up  by  their  thighs.

dance :   my  muse  holds  their  hand  out,  waiting  for  your  muse  to  come  out  and  slow  dance  with  them.

carry :   my  muse  carries  your  muse  to  their  house,  either  drunk,  or  a  weakened  state,  can  specify. 

lighter :   my  muse  pulls  out  a  lighter  and  lights  it  for  your  muse  to  use  to  light  their  cigarette.

shot :   my  muse  gets  shot  and  struggles  to  your  muses  house  for  aid.

wound :   my  muse  patches  and  bandages  a  wound  your  muse  has  gotten.

fight :   my  muse  stops  your  muse  from  getting  into  a  physical  fight  with  someone  else.

arrest :   your  muse  finds  my  muse  arrested  in  cuffs  with  swarming  police  everywhere.

hospital :   my  muse  awakens  in  a  hospital,  finding  your  muse  by  their  side,  asking  what  happened.

gun :  my  muse  pulls  out  a  gun  on  your  muse,  your  muse  tries  to  talk  them  into  putting  the  gun  down. 

betrayal :  my  muse  finds  out  that  your  muse  has  betrayed  them  in  same  way  and  confronts  them  about  it.

nude :  my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  accidentally  seeing  them  naked.

karaoke :  my  muse  pulls  your  muse  up  on  stage  with  them  to  sing  some  karaoke  songs. 

laughter :   my  muse  hears  your  muse  laughing  uncontrollably  and  approaches  to  see  if  they  are  okay.

murder :   my  muse  walks  in  on  your  muse  committing  a  gruesome  murder.

wet :   my  muse  strips  down  to  their  under  garments  and  runs  into  the  water,  motioning  for  your  muse  to  join  them.

#⋅ memes ╱ run the risk of being intimate with brokenness . ❜

[dyingthing]

don’t mind me i’m just gonna test some tag bullshit here as i revamp benji.

#┋ it’s a cruel trick how we find ourselves when we lose everything else. – shield au. #┋ let the scaffolding inside of me be strong enough to hold this tired body up. – body.

[dyingthing]

plotting call !   i’m gonna be out and about for a little bit but hit the heart and i’ll pop into your ims/discord/whatever else to plot. benji’s being loud tonight.

#⋅ call ╱ initiate the heart within me . ❜

[dyingthing]

troubldtwn    /    nathan wuornos

“people never do.”

more often than not, seeing is believing with the troubles. even then, most people are content to cling to denial, or ignorance. makes them feel safe, hiding behind the familiar, behind things they can explain. hell, it had made him feel that way. explaining his condition away with medical terminology… it had been a security blanket, one he’d clutched tightly around himself until he simply couldn’t anymore.  “ you… grow up here and you hear these stories. horrible things happening to your neighbour, or their kids—kids in your class, kids who get pulled out of school, kids who don’t… come back to school, when it’s all over. ”  he grinds to a halt, a sigh rattling loose from somewhere in his chest. nathan digs his nails into his palm, watches the crescent shapes form without feeling the sting.  “ they’re meant to make you behave, when your parents tell them. and you do. because you don’t want that to be you. they’re just meant to scare you, when it’s your friends whispering them to you over a bonfire on the beach. and they do. believe me, or don’t. they’re real. I’m troubled… you’re troubled. ”

benji tries his best to imagine it, to project the uncertainty and fear nathan had described onto his own hometown, to place himself in the shoes of a person who’d grown up surrounded by whispers of troubles, but comes up short. the things nathan had described, they couldn’t be real, they weren’t possible.

four points of faint, stinging, pain bloom suddenly across his palm and he sighs, hand flexing and curling once in an ever futile attempt to dismiss the sensation. he knows what he’ll see before he looks, but his eyes flick to nathan’s fingers anyway, watching his nails press imprints into his skin. he swallows, clenches his jaw as he tears his focus away, shoves his hand into his pocket. mirror touch synesthesia and atypically presenting pain disorder. the diagnoses he’s had since childhood are familiar, ingrained, but now the explanations feel like they have a footnote, denoting trouble as an alternative for consideration.

suddenly longing for a drink, benji can do little to stop the way his mind tries to put together the pieces of all nathan has told him, years of detective work demanding the procurement of an answer.  “ why? i mean, ”  he pauses, straightens up, ignoring the part of him that knows he’s letting himself get sucked in,  “ assumin’ things are like you say, then… why?  there’s gotta be a reason for it. ”

#troubldtwn #troubldtwn ; nathan wuornos. #[ wow sorry this took so long jfc ] #⋅ v ; haven ╱ i leaned in and let it hurt; let my body feel the dirt . ❜

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#⋅ ooc ╱ the human equivalent of a trainwreck . ❜ #[ me for the past week tbh ] #[ i'm tryin ya'll ]

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ROSWELL NEW MEXICO ⇢ 1x09

#⋅ jemma & wyatt & benji ╱ he can be the sun; i'll be the moon . ❜

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#⋅ character study ╱ for the world is hollow and i have touched the sky . ❜ #( jake peralta vc: coolcoolcoolcool )

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things that are hard to hear.

**possible triggers - abuse / death / suicidal implications change pronouns as needed for things you’d WANT to hear, click here!!

❝ i don’t want you in my life anymore. ❞

❝ i don’t want to have a relationship with you. ❞

❝ she’s not coming home. ❞

❝ that wasn’t meant for you. ❞

❝ i don’t love you, okay? i never did. i never will. ❞

❝ you’re wasting my time. ❞

❝ you’re wasting your time. ❞

❝ you’re not listening to me! ❞

❝ i feel like i can’t tell you anything. ❞

❝ you’re too late. ❞

❝ you don’t give yourself enough credit. ❞

❝ you don’t give me enough credit. ❞

❝ it’s time for things to change. ❞

❝ you failed me. ❞

❝ fuck you. ❞

❝ i can see right through you. ❞

❝ things are getting bad again. ❞

❝ are things getting bad again? ❞

❝ move on. ❞

❝ that’s on you. that’s your fault. ❞

❝ you’re holding on to things that are holding you back. ❞

❝ you haven’t changed. ❞

❝ i’m not changing my mind. ❞

❝ i’m dying. ❞

❝ you’re good – but you’re not as good as you could be. ❞

❝ it’s always about you. ❞

❝ nobody cares about your problems. ❞

❝ i don’t trust you. ❞

❝ you’re being taken advantage of! ❞

❝ i feel like you’re taking advantage of me. ❞

❝ did you hear what she said about you? ❞

❝ life isn’t fair. suck it up. ❞

❝ i didn’t mean i liked you that way– ❞

❝ maybe it’s better this way. ❞

❝ i wish i’d never met you. ❞

❝ you ruin my happiness. ❞

❝ i think we should see other people. ❞

❝ i’m not ready to settle down. ❞

❝ i want to love someone like you love me. ❞

❝ you can do anything you set your mind to, but you won’t. ❞

❝ stop crying. ❞

❝ don’t come back. ❞

❝ i’m not coming back. ❞

❝ i don’t care enough about you to hate you. ❞

❝ i feel like you’re dragging me down with you. ❞

❝ why don’t you smile anymore? ❞

❝ something happened today. ❞

❝ i don’t want to do this anymore. ❞

❝ stop letting it get to you. ❞

❝ i’m sorry. ❞

❝ i’m not sorry. ❞

❝ you’re not sorry. ❞

#⋅ memes ╱ run the risk of being intimate with brokenness . ❜

[dyingthing]

#⋅ wyatt & benji ╱ please don't give up on me . ❜ #[ jfc you idiot boys ] #⋅ queue ╱ thank queue for your time . ❜

[dyingthing]

#⋅ wyatt & benji ╱ please don't give up on me . ❜ #⋅ damien & benji ╱ it's been lovely but you're draining my will to live . ❜ #[ benji loves his friends but dear god he's exhausted ] #⋅ queue ╱ thank queue for your time . ❜

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i settled my grievance by crafting a mask and i never looked back

#⋅ playlist ╱ lost between the silence and the sound . ❜ #[ bank on the funeral is just. the whole fucking album is a benji mood ]

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starter call !    hit the heart and i’ll write up a (probably short, probably spotify based, since benji’s playlist is fucking me up) starter!

#[ someone distract me before i remake benji and wyatt ] #⋅ call ╱ initiate the heart within me . ❜

[dyingthing]

“am I supposed to be grateful to have survived this?”

— Brenna Twohy, from “I Know It’s a Little Late,” Forgive Me My Salt (via lifeinpoetry)

#⋅ character study ╱ for the world is hollow and i have touched the sky . ❜

[dyingthing]

not munday until tomorrow but tbqh i’m expecting tomorrow to be awful and this is the first picture of myself i’ve taken in awhile that i haven’t hated  thank you snapchat filters  so.

Keep reading

#⋅ ooc ╱ the human equivalent of a trainwreck . ❜ #⋅ queue ╱ thank queue for your time . ❜