eldritchdreamss

[eldritchdreamss]

Alfred: "Master Bruce, you're home rather late, is everything--"

Bruce: "Alfred, I have a kid."

Alfred, already making preparations: "Well, that happens sometimes, Master Bruce. Are you... are the two of you planning to keep it?"

Bruce: "Of course I am, Alfred, he's in the car outside."

Alfred, thrown, but refusing to show it: "Oh my. So it was before your travels?"

Bruce, frowning: "No, it was like two hours ago. I got him from the circus."

Alfred:

Bruce, groaning: "I made a mistake leaving him in the car, right? One minute, I'll be right back."

Alfred:

Bruce, sticking his head back into the room: "Also he doesn't know I'm Batman, okay? Thanks Alfred."

[eldritchdreamss]

can we talk about how, when bruce is lost in time and dick takes over his WE duties, dick actually tries to reform Arkham? can we talk about that please ?!?!???

[eldritchdreamss]

Wally kitty zooming

[eldritchdreamss]

I've seen some people talking about how Dick is portrayed to be in Gotham a lot despite also being Bludhaven's hero.

This is a valid perception. Dick has grown from being Batman's sidekick, and him having his own city is vital to his identity of being independent from Bruce (especially as the oldest). It's similar but not necessarily comparable to Jason claiming Crime Alley as his.

Dick should definitely have an independent life, responsibilities, and obligations due to his role as Bludhaven's protector. He doesn't have the time or capability to drop the hat for Gotham at every turn. Gotham has multiple protectors in comparison with Bludhaven.

However, Dick's frequency in Gotham depends on a few factors. I've seen estimates of Bludhaven being only a few miles or a 30-minute drive away. Others estimate it to be further. If Bludhaven really is only 30 minutes away, that's not too far for weekend visits. I used to drive that for work every day, and I drive that to see a family member once a week.

Others estimate it to be an hour or more away.

I guess my point is that if Bludhaven is under an hour's drive, it makes sense that Dick spends at least one day a week in Gotham to see his family. More than two nights is pushing it, but two or less is understandable. This is especially true if he's well established. Early on, he might need to spend less time in Gotham to get the lay of the land and assert himself, but he's probably fine by the time Steph shows up (unless he's spent considerable time away and needs to reestablish himself).

Just food for thought, I guess.

[eldritchdreamss]

Duke: What are you doing here?

Duke: ... Your excellency.

Damian: You don't call her "your excellency."

Talia: No, no, I kinda like it.

[eldritchdreamss]

Cassandra Cain and Stephanie Brown are officially mainstream. (Yes, these are real, link below.)

[eldritchdreamss]

LMAO Dick's just so blase about this, it's the epitome of "You know those days where you're like this might as well happen? Adult life is already so goddamned weird." like this is every day with Bruce Wayne as your dad, this is just how he shows he loves you, by reverse stalking you and asking for blood samples and helicopter parenting you in the weirdest goddamned way.

[eldritchdreamss]

young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

[eldritchdreamss]

Tim should wear a skirt. You know as a treat after all of the bs he goes through.

Like give me Tim who's scared to wear a dress after years of Jack's "macho man" expectations. Give me Tim who feels so comfortable in dresses but hesitant to tell other people. Give me Batkid's bonding where they fuck around with cosmetics and shit.

I bet Tim could do make-up and hair after all of his undercover shit. Maybe Cass asks to do his nails for practice and he can't say no to her (he loves it). Or Dick seeing his eyes lingering on a pretty dress and hyping him up to get it. (Pardon me if I get Duke's character wrong, I just started reading his comics) Imagine Duke ripping a bigot a new one after they make a snide remark. Bruce not knowing how to support him so he just buys him a whole boutique worth of dresses. YJ wolf-whistling the first time he shows them

Just, Femme Tim

[eldritchdreamss]

Batfam civilian AU prompt

Bruce is a billionaire.

That's it.

No caped crusader.

No Batman.

The only crime fighting he does is funding social programs and the like.

He's also adopted several children he's very protective of.

Especially Tim, who once almost died in an assassination attempt aimed at Bruce, and as a result now has no spleen.

So it's a bit hard for Bruce to accept when Tim puts together a dinner to introduce him to his new boyfriend, Conner.

Conner, who wears a spiked, leather jacket and several pairs of earrings.

Conner, who walks around with a wolf dog on a leash.

Conner.

Who will never be good enough for Tim.

Meanwhile, Clark, who is a normal human journalist that grew up on a farm in Smallville, has only just been granted custody of the son he never knew existed.

He's a bit protective of Conner, who he's still getting to know, and is worried about his new relationship with the son of the billionaire who is always in the tabloids.

Is Tim using him for something?

Does he think getting close to Conner will get him closer to Lex?

Both Bruce and Clark are worried about their son's and not sure how to approach them with their concerns.

This leads to the two of them both working to break them up, both thinking it's in their son's best interests.

After the break up, however, Tim starts spending all his time at work in an effort to forget about Conner.

Bruce can't get him to stop.

Sleep normally.

Smile.

Meanwhile Clark notices that Conner has withdrawn even more.

He'll hardly interact with anyone other than Wolf.

Even brushing off Jon.

Both Clark and Bruce realize they've made a mistake and, in order to fix it, they have to work together.

[eldritchdreamss]

If you're in the need for some kind of magical artifact of magic for your setting, consider Fresnel Lenses which are used in lighthouses:

These things are Alive.

[eldritchdreamss]

Duke: Are you crocheting?

Tim, running on 2 hours of sleep: The spider instincts wish to weave!

Duke, slightly weirded out: Okay? Whatcha making?

Tim, holding up his creation: Blanket!

[eldritchdreamss]

i love those aus where tim makes a baby in one of those 99 attempts to clone kon, but they typically ignore brucequest and how tim probably shouldn’t bring a baby along to that so what i suggest is "heeeey steph. remember how you wanted to be a mom but were afraid of your father's men hurting her? well, good news! here's a baby that’s indestructible! i need to go be a deadbeat dad for a second to go bring back my deadbeat dad from the timestream so i kinda need a babysitter. 'kay love you byeeeee"

[eldritchdreamss]

We have Bruce doing Good Dad™ things but what about Neutral Dad™ things

Mowing the lawn while drinking a cup of coffee

Standing outside and staring at an oncoming storm

Sneezes that get louder with each kid he adopts

"Hold this light while I fix this"

"Do NOT touch the thermostat"

Falling asleep on the recliner while watching a show that he'll pretend to hate when the kids ask about it

Matching cargo shorts, socks, and sandals with Clark every time they're in Smallville

[eldritchdreamss]

Jason: *sees Tim come into the kitchen with a different coffee cup then he left with*

Jason: “dude, how many do you have?”

Tim: “huh?”

Jason: “coffee cups. every time I see you, you have a different one I’ve seen like 14 just today.”

Tim: “well actually I’ve had 23”

Jason: “why do you have so many!? Are you Losing them!? Do they just break or something!?”

*Tim who has been purposely breaking his favorite cups when he feels angry to show himself that when he’s mad things he love disappears*

“Uh……..”

[eldritchdreamss]

The real reason everyone makes fun of Dicks Discowing outfit is because he's the only one that can somehow pull it off

Every superhero and vigilante has has a costume like that at some point, something daring or a bit ridiculous that in hindsight that they just couldn't make work for whatever reason. Nightwing? The pretty motherfucker not only made it work, he slayed in that outfit. It looks ridiculous by itself on display in the batcave but not when Nightwing puts it on

The only reason Dick doesn't know this is because all his siblings have collectively gaslit him into thinking that it's his worst costume to date.

[eldritchdreamss]

I love all the headcanons about the batkids reaching certain ages and realizing how insane it was that Bruce did (thing) at that age, but I ESPECIALLY love the image of a mid-forties Jason landing a little too hard after his last grappling line and realizing that, holy shit, Bruce’s knees must have been splintering at this point. AND he had a broken back??