elisacaleisa

[elisacaleisa]

Here he is, the one and only *drum rolllll*

Xavier!!!

Teeny head-cannons:

-6’2

-he got hip dips <33

-listens to fast paced music like pop and rock to get himself hyped up

-frosted tips. Haha

-trans, ftm

-gap-tooth,,,

-has tiny freezer burn scars from learning how to use his powers, thinks they’re cool so he never got rid of them

-hand flaps when really excited!

That’s all, I just wanted to draw him because he’s becoming one of my favs and we only have one video with him haha

[elisacaleisa]

pls I need help

How do you come up with God awesome names while the only name I could come up with is archines and elyxion

Pls I am begging you, I have been sobbing, begging, vomiting while trying to come up with names

Thank you

Take 2 words you like the sound of or sound like they fit your character's personality type, and smash em together!

[elisacaleisa]

The Meridian is Tormenting him. Forcing him to watch them for two whole years. I wanna murder me a magical barrier.

[elisacaleisa]

"All autistics have low empathy" - This statement is wrong.

"Autistics having low empathy is a MYTH, we actually have HIGH empathy!" - This statement is ALSO wrong.

Autistics can have low empathy, they can have high empathy, they can have learned empathy. The myth would be that all autistics only experience one end of the empathy spectrum.

In spreading around misinformation that autistics actually have high empathy, you are disregarding the autistics who do have low empathy. And vice versa.

[elisacaleisa]

Just finished a commission of Fool!Milo for @just-chelax !

Please do not save, use or distribute this art piece thank you!

[elisacaleisa]

youtube after demonetizing erik but ignoring Naughty Neko Schoolgirl Gets PUNISHED By Dom Daddy Mafia Boss | ASMR [M4F]

also hi im back btw

[elisacaleisa]

yet again wishing i was in the redacted fandom earlier because apparently erik had shared the pdf files for the paperwork he made in the hour long video abt gaining informed unempowered status

[elisacaleisa]

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

[elisacaleisa]

Just a small rant about myself

Im having a huge ass whiplash bc I cant fathom that 2 years ago when I drew milo for the first time it was so different its mind boggling to me comparing it to my recent art of him

Im kind of proud of my for improving, its like a nice little treat to have after years of drawing

[elisacaleisa]

redesign !!

click 4 better quality ! | kofi

[elisacaleisa]

[elisacaleisa]

Redacted Boys pt 1

[elisacaleisa]

My Top Fool!Gavin Quotes

there’s so many things i wanna do to this man and none of them should be said out loud

“My goodness. And they say my kind is insatiable.”

“I’m making… lots of observations, in fact.”

“Oh my. You certainly are something special aren’t you?”

“I didn’t… swoon. I… I wouldn’t do that. I mean, not wouldn’t. I would. I would if it was… earned. If it was… drawn out of me.”

“Vin-Gavin! Gavin. You can call me Gavin.”

“What is it, why are you looking at me like that? I liked it better the way you were looking at me a second ago.”

“I’d say I have a very diverse skillset. Trained in multiple techniques. Well I’m a quick study. And a diligent student.”

“Oh that’s your hand. That feels nice.”

“I can sense… what you’re feeling. Mmhmm. All of it. All of the many… flavors—uh, layers of it. Lots of layers.”

“I think I have a pretty good idea of what you’re thinking. Mmhmm. And I think it’s not unlike what I myself am thinking right now too… Hmm? Studying? Oh. Oh. Right. Studying.”

“I also happen to be in the middle of some very important… studying. And… and maybe it is a less interesting subject matter than studying the… very… enticing… person sitting across from me, b-but it’s important nonetheless!”

“That feels… that feels wonderful.”

“The night hasn’t even come to pass yet. We would need to spend quite a bit longer together for it to be considered nighttime. Which we should— could! We could do that.”

“We could always find a more private location to do some… studying. Together. Mmhmm. Some very… detailed studying. Y-you could call it a hands-on approach, yes.”

“Do you have any idea just how much… energy is coming off of you right now? That’s an understatement. Dear god, I think you could power a small town with it.”

“Y-yes. Yes. Please. Please. That sounds—yes. Yes. Studying! Definitely. Lots… and lots of studying. I think we both have lots to learn about one another.”

“Please. I need you in private. I think. Now.”

[elisacaleisa]

Do you have any tips (or previous posts) about how to write a young person who’s first-time cane user? This one is for a character who escapes a lifetime of being experimented on, and learns in the aftermath of being rescued that this rather compromised her ability to walk well again. I’ve written characters with other mobility devices for getting around. But never canes. I myself am physically disabled but have never needed anything like these before. I’m always eager to learn.

Hi!

If your character is a first time cane user, here's some things that could happen:

She will need to learn how to walk with the cane first. When you're starting, it's easy to mess up (though it could be my dyspraxia speaking) and overfocus on how you should walk because you're just getting used to it. She could randomly stop and correct her gait, or look down a lot to check if she's still doing the motion (left arm and right leg forward, or the other way around).

She's probably gonna drop that thing a lot. Especially if she has a weaker grip in the cane hand - now, I don't have this problem (the opposite, rather) - but the overall thing is a really common occurrence for most of us. Walking and hit the smallest pebble imaginable? Cane on the ground, somehow. Tried putting it against the wall or table? It's on the ground. And then you need to reach for it... it's a struggle sometimes.

If she's not helped in picking the cane, she will spend some time figuring out what grip and height are comfortable for her. (Grip depends on personal preference, no one's preference has ever been the doorknob handle, height is generally to the person's wrist from the ground up.) I think that this could be an interesting opportunity to talk about disabled communities - maybe she's frustrated with the process and goes to an older (more experienced) cane user to help her?

If it's during the winter, her hand is gonna be freezing - and the opposite in the summer - and she might not be prepared for it. The handle can get HOT and it can be an issue. Depending on what her actual disability is, she might try switching which hand to hold it in. If she's able to do that, another character could warm up her cold hand :)

The first couple of times walking with a cane are an Experience. You feel way better, but also everyone is suddenly staring. Some people care about that, some don't. But it can be somewhat overwhelming either way.

Spatial awareness is gonna suck at first. She will bump into what feels like everything with the cane. Especially doorframes. It's always doorframes for some reason. Or mess up and have her cane slip down because she hasn't realized how close to the curb she was.

She will hit her shin. It will hurt.

She's probably going to be speedy with that thing! Getting a cane is like getting a speed boost. Without it, I have episodes where I'm extremely slow (my highest, extreme-pain speed would be slower than a person walking very casually) and with it, I'm faster than a lot of able-bodied people! It's fun and she would have fun with it.

She will not know what to do with the cane when she doesn't need it. For me, using backpacks always cause issues because I don't know how to hold it without dropping it, but I also need to swap hands, something gets stuck on the handle... it's a whole process that takes a comical amount of time at first. Same when going to the public bathroom, where are you putting it when you aren't using it...? It's a lot of trial and error and a lot of "eww, my cane just touched the dirtiest surface humanly imaginable".

In the real world, people are (overly) interested in young cane user's business and tend to stare a lot. Now, it doesn't have to be like this in your story, but it's often just an annoying part of life. Your character might feel awkward and feel like she needs to explain herself, but this goes away after some time. You just get desensitized after a while.

In the real world, people are sometimes interested and nice about it! For example, a lot of older people can be insecure about using a cane, exactly like younger people. I've heard stories about older people asking younger users where they got their cane from, how are they so confident with it, etc. Another opportunity for a disabled community moment!

I hope that my suggestions were helpful, it's been a while since I was a first-time cane user so I wrote down what I still remember, haha.

Mod Sasza

Hi!

I agree with Sasza on pretty much every point and wanted to add some things from my own experience.

It's really, really hard to hold both a cane and an umbrella at the same time. Sometimes I'll give up and get wet. Sometimes I'll give up and store the cane. She might do either of those, depending on what she hates more: being wet or walking without the cane. Or she could get a raincoat if that works for her.

Speaking of umbrellas, sometimes you need your umbrella and you need your cane and you also need a free hand. This Sucks. What I do for this sometimes (and maybe she or other people have better, smarter, more useful solutions than this) is shove my umbrella into my shirt or backpack strap or something, so the umbrella is Held Up by it. This is not very effective, and will not last long. But if I need to look up a map on my phone or adjust something on my clothes or get my keys, it can work. Sort of.

Just like mod Sasza said, people will take interest in your cane, younger and older alike. I've had people of all ages compliment my cane (it has flowers) as well as people of all ages tell me I'm too young to need a cane or ask what's wrong with me. An older woman once asked me where I got my cane as she had been wanting a 'pretty' one, and that was a nice moment.

She might develop a new awareness of mobility aid users. When you're new at using one and trying to figure it out, you're probably going to be frustrated, because it's a new skill like any other. But it might make her (like it made me) notice more people using canes. It's not that I never saw them before, but that they were more common than I ever thought, and I never would have noticed how common it was if I hadn't had to slow down and practice my skill.

Cane tips get dirty, and cane tips wear out. These both depend on where your character is using her cane (outdoors vs indoors, scratchy asphalt vs smooth wood) as well as how often. A cane with a worn-out rubber tip really sucks and is more unstable and if the cane is made of aluminum and the tip is worn out and you hit the cane the wrong way, you can damage the cane. Ask me how I know.

That's all I can think of right now that I had to learn to deal with when I started! As you can see I still don't have a solution to the rain thing and it's been like two and a half years...

- mod Sparrow

[elisacaleisa]

born to be your daughter

forced to be called your daughter

live as your daughter, love as her

but your child realized, those words do not fit 𝗵𝗶𝗺. he has bloomed into a beautiful boy, a boy who isn't afraid to express both his masculinity and feminity. a boy who still lives past your demeaning and dismissive labels. he is your 𝘀𝗼𝗻.

[elisacaleisa]

Hi Redacted Fandom Let's fucking talk shall we?

Most of y'all don't know me. I don't talk much in wider fandom spaces due to personal experiences, traumas, and anxieties that lead me to not be super comfortable being myself in larger spaces. My name is Kayla and I am almost 38 yeas old, an Exvangelical, AuDHD, bisexual, and nonbinary (also white which explains The Audacity), and I have been on the internet since I was in middle school (around the late 90's *shudders* dial-up internet age). I have been an audience member of many many content creators online and befriended many many more. I have seen the ins and outs of what goes into scripting, recording, editing, and marketing online content, particularly video based online content.

All of this preamble to say that I was the one who wrote Erik the email that prompted his Pateron post yesterday, in fact here it is in its entirety:

"Erik,

I’m generally a firm believer that online spaces/subscription sites are not like an airport, and I do not need to announce my departure. And while I hate writing this email, I need to say what I've been thinking for a long time. I fear that if I don't say it, no one will.

First, I want to make it clear that I love the content you produce. It's some of the most thoughtful and well made storytelling and world building I’ve ever seen on the internet, and I’ve been in and around the internet for a very long time now. However, even though I enjoy and appreciate the content, there’s still some issues to be addressed.

You need to stop ghosting your audience, especially your Patrons, when life gets stressful. I’m not saying, “never have setbacks." I've seen how your life has been a walking cavalcade of bullshit over the past two years. But your response of going radio silent whenever things get even slightly stressful is wrong. It’s wrong to do that to your bosses, it's wrong to do that with your family, it's wrong to do that with friends and romantic partners, and it is egregiously wrong to do that to people whose money you’ve received in promise for services rendered.

Again, I’ve been around for years, and I have compassion for the fact that life keeps kicking you in the teeth, but this harkens back to something you said in your apology video in January; shit kicks you in the teeth, and you don’t adjust your life accordingly. You also keep making mention of the fact that the best apology is changed behavior, but your actions of disappearing whenever something goes wrong is the exact behavior that you apologized for in January, is it not? If that wasn’t what you were talking about, then I have no idea why you felt the need to apologize to us.

At this point you don’t owe us your life story. You don’t owe us a perfect schedule with no setbacks and no delays. You DO owe us a sentence or two of explanation when shit gets this delayed on your end. It’s starting to feel less like appreciation and more like being taken for granted.

I don’t know what a change like that looks like for you. Is it that you need assistance with all the backend bullshit? (I know from watching others in the creator space both from the audience standpoint and from watching my friends work to become successful at this that backend bullshit can be a bitch to do all by yourself after a while). Does it mean drastically curtailing your posting so you’re only making one post a week or two posts a month until you can get your energy levels back up? Does it mean you have to go on an official hiatus? Does it mean that this is too much work and no longer worth it for you? I’m not in your head, so I don’t know, but this way of ghosting us and making grandiose promises of future content that never materializes because your life got hard again isn’t worth my $20/month.

Sincerely,

Kayla Moore"

Erik is a consummate professional who kept my name out of his mouth while addressing the substance of my email, I however am a maladjusted bitch who stands by what the fuck she said. You'll note NOWHERE in the body of said email did I demand that he produce the content right now, nowhere did I imply that he can never have delays again. In fact I went out of my way to say the exact opposite multiple times. I am always and ever aware that Erik is managing what is a fairly decent sized platform on his own with what little free time he has. I am ALSO aware that that is an unsustainable position to take and that he is RAPIDLY pushing himself towards burnout by not acknowledging his limits. What it all comes down to is that yes, once money has changed hands at the very LEAST what he owes us as his Paterons is an update on the content *that he told us would be out by a certain date* that got delayed. In fact all I really want is just a quick "Hey sorry life is lifeing this is going to be delayed I'll check back in with y'all soon" That's it. That's all I want when delays happen. That I feel is not an unreasonable request to make.

The reason I am showing you all this is because, quite frankly this fandom has a HUGE toxic-positivity and Purity Culture problem and y'all keep talking about shit you don't know and weren't privy to. Well I stand by what I said. I choose to email him about it privately to give him the opportunity to respond as he saw fit. But yes let's break this down: when you are a content creator who steps into the realm of being paid to produce said online content then you have an obligation to the people that you're paying to be upfront when limitations happen and things aren't coming out on time. Life happens. That's not in anyone's control, but how he responds to Life Happening is the key issue here. Lately his response has been to hide away and it's making the growing frustration around how much he values us his Paterons, and the way he's chosen to show it. The fact that you personally do not mind is irrelevant to the larger point. Your not caring does not mean that he was acting in a professional manner on this subject. Also he's not your friend no matter how much you might feel that way. He makes content that makes us feel good inside and it's easy to want to extend someone who gives you so much dopamine grace. That's good, that's normal.

The thing of it is though y'all can't seem to stand when people say something even slightly negative about him. Yes he's one person doing all this by himself. Yes that's a lot of work on top of a job and a personal life. He's also *choosing* to do this all by himself. He's definitely making enough that he could hire an assistant or two to take some of the load off his plate. He hasn't. And part of that is probably due to the toxic pride he mentioned in his Pateron update. Also "Please take care of yourself/rest/take all the time you need" and "Please give us an update if the content you promised by X date is going to be delayed" are not mutually exclusive feelings to have and the fact that some of you don't seem to understand that is...somewhat troubling to be honest. The fact of the matter is that something about the way that Erik does content needs to change. There have been too many delays, too frequently, and over too long a period of time for him to just chug along as things were and pretend everything is fine. I am not the only one who has felt this way as @tepid-judas can attest to. (And others but they haven't given me permission to tag them in this post they do not know I'm making so ya know I'm going to do him the courtesy of not doing that). Like Erik said this is a matter of respect and a matter of financial transactions that have not been met in a satisfactory manner. He even apologized to us for exactly this back in January (this being life happening to him and him not adjusting to those circumstances the channel/Pateron experience suffering as a result), so it's not unwarranted to ask 4 months later when things have collapsed back into a status quo that was unacceptable in his eyes, to ask him for a little accountability.

Y'all may think I'm an ungrateful bitch about this, y'all may be taken aback that I am an Obsessed Tier Pateron who had the audacity to send him an email like this. To that I say you are entitled to your opinion, but I am entitled to mine, and like I said I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I was right in stating that I think I'm the only one who had enough That Bitch in her to say something about it. And I'm glad I did because if all he ever hears is "This is fine, don't worry about it" then all we're ever going to get is anxiety inducing radio-silence as we wonder if he's almost lost the ability to walk again. And then he lands himself in the kind of burnout he can't come back from because he keeps trying to Not Let Us Down by pushing himself to do things he cannot do at a scale that is impossible to do over a long period of time. It's not ok that he ghosted us with out a word for 8 days after the project had already faced set backs, no matter how much you convince yourself that you do not mind. Your minding is not relevant to whether or not is was right or professional of Erik to do that to us.

Sometimes it's good to be the person who complains and says "No actually this isn't ok and you DO need to work on this." Sometimes that's what someone needs to see in order to truly understand where they need to make changes. It's hard to see that shit when you're standing in the middle of the Must Produce Content mines. Sometimes you need the canary to remind you you're running out of oxygen.

I know I've pissed some of you off for daring to talk to Erik like he was an adult with responsibilities that he voluntarily took on by himself without any prompting from anyone else. I know it breaks the illusion that we are all his bestest buddies or his lovers or whatever, but at the end of the day the nature of his relationship to us is a lot less and a lot more personal than that.

We are in a recession regardless of how much our governments want to deny this fact. The price of everything has skyrocketed since Erik started the Pateron, it is not unreasonable to want some confirmation that he realizes he missed his own self-imposed deadline when that happens. This isn't about demanding all the content now, it's about the respect we are owed as a fandom. And we're owed at LEAST a sentence stating that things will be delayed and maybe a follow up if things are taking even longer than expected. The fact that it took 8 days and my email for him to say anything is not great. Erik to his credit realizes that and is appearing to address the issue head on.

Also I saw something that said something along the lines of Erik walking away because this fandom can't understand that he is one person. And to that I say that is far far more likely that he burns himself out on the alter of toxic productivity and alienates his fanbase due to going radio-silent out of fear and shame trying to maintain a release schedule he can no longer keep up with. THAT is what will cause him to walk away faster and it will mean that he is *unable* to come back.

It is right and good and necessary even that someone speaks up and says "Hey this isn't right" when something isn't right. And if you keep trying to sweep it under the rug all you're doing is creating a big dirt pile that everyone has to ignore and walk around instead of bringing issues into the light and effecting change. It's ok to extend creators grace and benefit of the doubt, but we should also be extending our fellow fans that same grace. There was no need for any of y'all to go jumping to conclusions about this. If you want your pound of flesh for my having the audacity come at me, my block button is fucking hungry.

[elisacaleisa]

Fuck Israel and fuck everyone who still wants to pretend this is confusing or complicated. Is it really that hard to point out the "bad people" in a scenario where a multi-billion military apparatus is handcuffing and killing children and medical staff inside a fucking hospital?