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Geralt: valdo marx is a better singer than you
Jaskier: >:0
Geralt: APRIL FOOLS!
Geralt: jaskier?
Jaskier: >:0馃敧馃敧馃敧
Roach: you fucked up. Better run!
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Jaskier: mouths are pretty great, you you eat with this hole and you love with this hole
Geralt: And the mood is ruined
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Jaskier:You would not know talent if I shoved up your鈥eralt.
Geralt(internal monologue):Shoved up my what. Is talent slang for penis, Jaskier? Where are you shoving it
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I wrote an april fools fic in which I used as many cringy words and phrases to be found in smut while still making it readable.
please enjoy my offering to the Geraskier lovers
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Standing in Kear Morhen was something that Jaskier had longed for. He would hear stories about the keep from Geralt, but the village at the base of the mountain was as far as ever got. Geralt would usually leave him alone, sometimes even in the middle of the night
Now, in Kear Morhen, he sees Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri, along with the rest of the witcher, as one big happy family that Jaskier feels that he can never be a part of.
Jaskier has never felt more alone in his whole life.
Trying to make himself as scarce as possible as Jaskier knew the possibility of them tiring of him and kicking him could happen any day. Jaskier mostly kept to himself in the library, where one day, he found something strange.
Jaskier is cursed to be invisible, where no one can hear him speak.
Meanwhile, Geralt is panicked when, after days, no one has seen Jaskier, and the Bards stuff is still here. With each passing day, Geralt fears that Jaskier may have wandered off and is either freezing to death somewhere or already dead.
The others are also noticing that Kear Morhen seems to have a new ghost that seems musically inclined
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One of my favorite observations from this season of The Witcher is how Jaskier can adapt to different personas depending on the people he interacts with, all while remaining true to his core self.
When it comes to Yennefer, Jaskier becomes the confidant she can fully trust. Despite their limited interactions throughout the season, it is evident that Yennefer confides in him. In one particular scene from season two, Yennefer opens up to Jaskier about losing her magic. Instead of mocking her, Jaskier responds with nothing but empathy and compassion. This proves to Yennefer that she can trust him, even though they may bicker like siblings at times.
For Ciri, Jaskier takes on the role of the fun uncle. Their relationship is built on playful banter, mocking others like Geralt and Yennefer and enjoying card games together. But amid the playfulness, there are also tender moments where Jaskier encourages Ciri and sings her lullabies before bedtime. Their dynamic revolves around bringing smiles to each other's faces.
With Geralt, Jaskier is not only his best friend but also provides a dose of comic relief. Whenever they are together, Jaskier adopts a more goofy and lighthearted persona. This deliberate choice is because Jaskier knows that Geralt tends to brood and he wants to show him that there is still goodness in the world. Even when it seems that their friendship is questioned, Jaskier's quick offense is followed by a joke, indicating his unwavering loyalty and desire to lighten the mood.
In essence, Jaskier's ability to adapt his role based on the needs of the people around him showcases his emotional intelligence and understanding of their unique personalities. Yet, beneath these varying personas, he remains the same loyal and caring friend to each of them.
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hrghh another long and difficult day... TUMBLR!! fetch me a photo of The Fictional Character .....
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emotional-support-fandom 10 months
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Radovid: So, you and Jaskier have been friends for years, huh? Sorry if this is a weird question, but maybe you could give me some advice? I'm new to this entire relationship thing
Geralt, who is still traumatized from Burn Butcher Burn: Just be nice to him
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the concept of geralt being painfully unaware and making everything confusing is so funny tbh. i mean, imagine the situation:
literally everyone thinks that geralt and jaskier are together. everyone. except geralt.
why? well.
tb to that one time when lambert was making fun of him because 'oh geralt you look like shit, you didn't sleep well last nigh, huh?' so geralt answers, like it's nothing, 'no, jaskier kept me up all night', making lambert choke. to be fair, geralt agrees that listening to jaskier singing his stupid little songs till white morning wasn鈥檛 a nice experience. even if lambert is being overdramatic about it.
then some other time, a woman offers him and jaskier to spend the night at her inn while they're on the path. it's true that nights are getting colder but oh, geralt is used to it and so he explains 'no. thank you, but i sleep with the bard'. he doesn't know why the woman goes red in the face, why she starts to stutter and doesn't look geralt in the face anymore. weird but okay, not his problem.
it happens so many times until someone eventually points it out to geralt.
it's even funnier when he AND jaskier are confused after that, just for entirely different reasons
yennefer: no, geralt. enough. you need to stop making people think you and jaskier are together
geralt: what?, we're not together.
jaskier: we aRE NOT????
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FOUND!!
okay this is a long shot but does anyone know the name of a geraskier fic on ao3 where ciri finds jaskier in a forest after being separated from geralt? jaskier becomes a sort of reluctant dad and they pass each other off as father and daughter? he tries to get her back to geralt? i think he also doubles as the sandpiper in this. i think it was published in the past few months and i've gone through ao3 for the past hour or so looking for it
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soulmates are stupid i love you on purpose
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Jaskier: I'm going to use this "geralt is not allowed to be angry with jaskier for any of his shenanigans for 24 hours" coupon that I got for my birthday
Geralt: you gave that to yourself
Jaskier: still has the word "official" on it
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There's an intelligence test on tiktok: if you hold your dog and put him up to a wall and he puts his paws up to prevent him hitting the wall. Then he's smart. A dumb dog let's himself gets mashed against the wall.
Papa vesemir sees this and decides to test it on his pups
Eskel: arms out blocks immediately
Geralt: face completely mashed against the wall. He's very confused
Lambert: bites too much, papa vesemir keeps dropping him before the test is complete
Jaskier: gets the wrong idea and shoves his ass back into papa vesemirs crotch. Prompting a VERY uncomfortable conversation
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Lambert: *gesturing to jaskier* Can you make him stop?
Geralt: Yeah I Could. But i won't.
Geralt: Also I can't
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As a prank jaskier gives geralt a body pillow. It's exactly jaskiers size and has his image on it. There's even a little packet of his perfume in it so the pillow smells like him.
Geralt rolls his eyes and grumbles about it. He makes the expected comments about "at least its quieter."
Jaskier laughs and they promise to meet up again in the spring.
Geralt brings the pillow to kaer morhen and cuddles with it every night. He promises himself that No one, especially not jaskier, will ever find out*
*everyone immediately finds out, and its a race to see which witcher gets to tell the bard first*
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Jaskiers first winter at kaer morhen:
Jaskier: I bring you love
Eskel: he's bringing us love!
Papa vesemir: don't let him get away!
Lambert: break his legs!
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