emotionallyconfusedpolyglot

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

Fuck it, post lamb stew slow cooker recipe

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “neon genesis evangelion” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw a giant flying singing five dimensional crystalline octahedron obliterate our entire missile defence system

my buddy shinji ikari pacing: i mustn't run away. i mustn't run away. i mustn't run away. i m

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

Capitalism isn't 'broken'. It's working all too well - and we're the worse for it Capitalism and extreme poverty: A global analysis of real wages, human height, and mortality since the long 16th century

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

One of my favourite bits of media history trivia is that back in the Elizabethan period, people used to publish unauthorised copies of plays by sending someone who was good with shorthand to discretely write down all of the play's dialogue while they watched it, then reconstructing the play by combining those notes with audience interviews to recover the stage directions; in some cases, these unauthorised copies are the only record of a given play that survives to the present day. It's one of my favourites for two reasons:

It demonstrates that piracy has always lay at the heart of media preservation; and

Imagine being the 1603 equivalent of the guy with the cell phone camera in the movie theatre, furtively scribbling down notes in a little book and hoping Shakespeare himself doesn't catch you.

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

Dear tumblr staff,

stop. its ok. you don’t need to do these things. just focus on functionality(like the video player). we don’t need these little updates when somethings(like the video player) need your focus. thank you for your time but really, tumblr looks great. try to fix more important things(like the video player) so that we can all properly enjoy the features of tumblr(like the video player)

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

I know deer are like 500 pounds of muscle but they LOOK like they're hollow. I should be able to knock on a deer and hear a metallic echo. that's what God intended but something went wrong

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

people are like "no one wants to work anymore" when every job application is like upload your resume and cover letter. okay now manually type out your resume and cover letter in our text boxes. okay now answer these 10 riddles. okay now take a rorschach test. okay now upload a photo of your childhood bedroom and explain the relationship between its layout and the adult you are today. okay now show us your youtube watch history. okay now define the color "red." okay now walk into a patch of poison ivy and take a selfie of you holding up a paper saying "i <3 ivy." okay now wave your hands in the air if you just don't care. that one was a trick to cull the applicants who don't care. okay now choose a loved one to sacrifice. great! thank you for submitting your application we will not be calling you

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

what's reddit-core?

Reddit people are annoyingly touchy about grammar. A typo in a reddit thread will result in an annoying dogpile from smarmy users eager to glean internet points from correcting you. Because of this, seasoned reddit users often reflexively type in a very clean, formal, debate-like format.

It sticks out like a sore thumb in tumblrs far more casual environment, and often reads as strange, overly-formal, sterile, almost corporate. Like a kid wearing a suit to school.

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

A new mode of production arises out of the newly networked masses.

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

i fucking hate everything.

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

streaming companies will say um we're increasing your subscription fee. no password sharing. no screenshots allowed. please subscribe to a separate channel for this movie and another for this tv show. free trial but put in your card details so we can charge you if you forget to cancel. this title is a rental only that's 4.99 please. this title is not available in your region. you are begging people to torrent at this point Like ye are off the edge of the map matey here there be pirates argh argh argh 🦜☠️

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

oh my god this New Yorker article about the Titan holy fucking shit fuck???

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

King

[emotionallyconfusedpolyglot]

Tumblr, buddy, listen to me. This is an unprecedented opportunity. You can snap up all of the pie here, and become defacto internet goodguy easy. All you gotta do is... drop the nsfw ban. Unambiguously. Announce that dicks are back on the menu. You want people subscribed the blogs? You want people to actually use your Post+ function? Porn. Let us use it for porn. The youngins aren't joining this site anyway, you're not competing with tiktok. The vaguely horny 20-40 demographic though? You can have that. You can have all of that. Think about it.