espectres

[espectres]

@espectres asked : i’m not stressed ,  okay ?  do i look fucking stressed ? // MEME.

' worse , you look like a liar . ' since when had things come to this ? there's grief in a phantom heart as they stand at opposite ends and seem to defy each other . he loves me , he loves me not . he should love me , but ... the thin , unhappy slits of dark's eyes narrow . tensions pull at every angle , though he nevertheless tries to avoid landing into the net and trigger of something nasty , like the explosive , tripwire wick of his own short temper --- flint to a tender and hidden hurt . he's always known that shou preferred to treat him an excess , tolerating him , perhaps , with some amount of reluctance and cruel , disparaging humors --- despite the pitch depths and hollows of a shared , inseparable longing . dark knows too of the other's vanishing independence ; the habits of an invisible boy who had been weaned off a particular poison , broken plates and split knuckles , violent just desserts that became part of the reason why those small , esper's fists might have curled in front of him --- even him , even now .

and yet , rather than roar or lunge , dark's entirety seems rebuked . his eyes gleam pitifully from behind the weightless strands of his bangs , the small frown on his features uncharacteristic of the hundreds of thousands of great phantom thieves flashing arrogant wink and grin from security camera footage and live , infinitely repeated broadcast . this was different . a lover should have been close , closer than anyone , so as to understand at least two hidden truths , but the glass wall so often effortlessly bridged by his other self has grown thicker into a castle-brick wedge , confusions turning the sword of the knight against what captive beast , red-eyed and black-winged dragon it might have otherwise sworn to protect , only when it had been mistaken for a prince . dark remains where he is , obedient and tender even while suffocating on his own frustrations .

' ... why won't you let me help you ? ' he's going to turn away from me , now . he's going to vanish from my sight . even if he screamed , he'd be left with nothing but an echo . yet even if there was nothing to be done between the two of them , then if nothing else --- ' can't i at least stay by your side ? ' silence and a touchless presence was fine , a fireplace smoulder for his wintry skin and the cavity in his chest that , like fast-cooling ashes , seemed to be growing only colder and colder with each passing second . i don't want to be alone --- but he doesn't know how to confess . wishing they could be weak together , wanting for a warmth in his arms that was presently razing him furiously at the fingertips ; even if it's shou's frustrations , it's surely his own fault too for being inept . ill-suited to anyone's happiness . company of a monster , meddling of a curse --- he suddenly stands , and the twin pair of black wings on his back flare open , a warning of his own leaving first .

' nevermind . forget it . ' if it was shou's wish , then he'd indulge it . if love , too , was letting go and leaving alone , then he would demonstrate absence , forgoing his own jealouus-clinging desires . the sole mercy of a thief and a monster , he thinks . ' i didn't mean ... ' to make things worse by his own presence --- he should have known better . ' ... to make you upset , shou . ' even if it was an accident ; nothing more than a simple , innocent , wretched mistake --- there weren't any excuses . ' i'll give you space . ' because at least like this , he , and all his piercing gaze wouldn't look anymore ... and shou , trying to turn himself ; his truths and his feelings invisible if only by sheer intention of words alone , would no longer have to lie .

#KILL ME NOW. I CAN NO LONGER LIVE #DARK #DARK ?????????? #karmic balance restored BY AT WHAT COST ???? #im so sorry for him he has to deal with teenaged angst. the most immature kind #dw i promise you're his precious red eyed black winged dragon he just needs to GET HIS SHIT TOGETHER #can i just. everyone look at tsun GO his back must hurt from carrying the entire gothic romantic horror genre in this rpc & time istg #ABD IT'S DONE BEAUTIFULLY I JUST WANT TO CRY. WEEPS SM #STOP GIVING ME FEELINGS OVER LUCIFER OF THE OPERA I DONT WANT ANY !!!!!!!!!!!!! ( i lie like a lier ) #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; saved. #i also want to reblog the other ask but i also want to reply to it so ... to drafts it goes-

[espectres]

@1amsong sent: 

"The relationship between a father and his daughter is tenuous." FROM ENAAA theyre getting the shittalking session they deserve

[ PROMPTED BUT I CAN'T FIND MEME ] ...  ▬▬▬   accepting !

DRINK TWIRLS BETWEEN ROUGH FINGERS, his oreo milkshake swirling in little waves in its plentifully decorated cup with each little & big step Shou takes. He listens carefully, taking the occasional sips from his drink and the opportunities to chime in with a comment or an opinion or simple affirmations of sympathy. 

" Tenuous ... " He repeats after her, a little bit of contained laughter escaping along. " That's a good word for it. " He says after a while, the word almost sounds new and foreign, but it's a way to describe it for sure. It's been pleasant finding someone who could understand whatever tension is going on with his family, finding someone who could relate to in his bitterness, his perpetual anger, his justified uglier kind of feelings that many would rather ignore or shun upon. 

Eyebrows knit together as he raises the cup to his lips again. And he thinks about airports and an empty home and unsaid goodbyes and the many, many times he had to simply stand his place and endure being left behind, insignificant, small. Even when those eyes so familiar to his spared him a glance, he couldn't feel more disregarded, unimportant, invisible. " Sometimes it's hard to believe we had ... anything to begin with. "

It's hopeless, somewhat. Useless to worry about and ponder over. His father was far off the picture, taken away and no longer capable of causing any more trouble to anyone and especially Shou. But in this profound freedom and safety, away from cruel hands and cruel eyes and crueler words-  Shou misses something, so deeply. And he's never been so afraid to admit something his whole life, even to himself. 

Tch, a bitter chuckle. " Shitty pops, always messing things up for everyone. " 

#HI SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVERRRRRR #im literally so slow i hate it here #but thank u sm they make me happy. mutual suffering continues they cant get a break #BUT AT LEAST THEY HAVE EACH OTHER #ショウ ; we scraped our bones to get fire. / inbox. #ショウ ; distortion confronts both heart and mind. / writing. #1amsong

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breaking ties

mob | teru | shou

#he's so #RED #ショウ ; winter shed blood & sweetness of the summer. / self.

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#toichiro posting for my insanity #also for amber #/POINTS AGGRESSIVELY/ THAT'S SHOU'S DAD !!! #BIOLOGICAL FATHER ( DEROGATORY ) #親父。/ for the son in your arms and the blood in your hands.

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#ショウ ; fireburst sounds in the broken lights. / aesthetic. #hhhhhhhhh

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" Hey, thanks. " He says quickly, rather surprised at the nice comment, it's very rare that his athletic skills gets noticed before the atrocity of his acts !  " You don't have to worry, I've been training to do this for a while now !  " 

THIS WOULD CONTRADICT HER SOFT SIDE TO BE EXCITED ABOUT such an elegant display of skill ! though , she inevitably cannot resist. " oh my ! how charming ! i once did the same thing in .. " though she probably should not speak about her double life as a phantom thief. " n- .. nevermind ! shouldn't you be more careful ? "

#THANKS THEY CANT BE NORMAL #shou vc oh she didn't berate me for violence. wow #ショウ ; distortion confronts both heart and mind. / writing. #fatedprincess

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@ultfan replied: 🙂

" What ? " He asks flatly, then scratches the back of his head while looking at where the body went flying. " Hm. I could do better than that ... " 

#he has no excuses sorry #ultfan

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@xstarlights replied: You're embarrassing your father. Behave.

" Like hell if I care, LEAVE ME ALONE. " 

#YOU'RE THE ONE EMBARRASSING /ME/ #STFU!!!!!!!!!!! #xstarlights

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One thing about Shou is that I'll always write him being friendly to all muses ( unless plotted otherwise ) , he might be insufferable & endearingly annoying but it's all out of loveeee- but in reality he is so picky with ppl & rarely trusts anyone fr. He IS a brat but I don't get to show it enough tbh, he's generally chill & laid-back but he can be such a pain in the ass. He wld give strangers the most pissed off attitude for no reason just vibes, he wld straight up yell at Fukuda when things don't go his way & Fukuda just smiles & shakes his head becuz that's just shou, he would purposefully do the exact opposite of what his mother asks of him becuz he's in a particularly bad mood & she may or may not be the reason. Problem child energy intensifies

#He can be so mean & rude becuz his environment has been TERRIBLE have you seen the ppl at claw ??? 💀 #u get to really know him & see how he's pissed he's yelling he's breaking one ( 1 ) thing in the room each time he loses cool #that's a trouble teenager for ya. plz be patient with him ajdgakdvjd #ショウ ; i realized that youth is grey. / headcanon.

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LOVE the phrase if push comes to shove. if things get fucking violent

#sHOU #ショウ ; growing past each other's hearts. / isms.

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*fucking dropkicks someone right in front of you*

#VIOLENCE #ショウ ; but can we trust him? / open.

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@audienceled sent: 

' suzuki-kun ... ' her hands clutch together, and gripped in between them, a movie showing ticket. anybody could make a good guess as to what she wants to ask, but it's a little awkward for her, nonetheless --- not for as long as she felt that she didn't quite wholly grasp or understand the personality of the boy in front of her. ' um, action movies ... do you like them? ' her cheeks flush; blaze red a little, but her voice only toughens, maintaining a steady, audible volume. ' i asked my other friends if they wanted to go, but nobody was interested or had the time. watching something like this doesn't feel as much fun as having someone to talk about it with, so ... ' her arms thrust the ticket out towards him. not unlike someone making a sharp stab at kendo or fencing. ' don't joke, okay? it's a free ticket. if you say you're going to go, then you'd better show up. '

HIS SCREEN TURNS OFF WITH A CLICK , a conversation -well, more of a debate- with Ootsuki that went on a little too long, going back on forth about some solutions for ...  little inconveniences that encountered him at school. A particular topic about whether or not it'd be fine if he took some asshole's shoes and threw them in the sewer for threatening another student who has been really nice to Shou- it goes on for so long before Shou realizes maybe he shouldn't be asking Ootsuki for good advice to begin with. 

Speaking of good advices, Shou muses fondly while acknowledging Riku with a simple smile. And it's the mention of one of his favorite genres that makes him visibly perk up. " 'Course I do. " He has a deep liking for thrillers the most, he keeps that detail for himself, though, vaguely aware of how much is sharing vs oversharing in this time, setting and conversation at hand. In this flimsy sense of friendship that hasn't fully solidified into something stronger & confident yet. It's either Riku has a really hot tempter, or that he's being a bad kind of asshole without realizing it. It's most likely the later, given how Ootsuki called him that just earlier this morning- but the former can't be entirely of question either, right ? 

" You want me to come along ?  " He sounds confused and somewhat amused, maybe about being such an afterthought ( but a thought, nonetheless ) , or how she looked like she just needed a little training and it'd be enough to kick his ass, or how nice she's being despite the vaguely threatening attitude. His confusion softens away, leaving place for something relaxed and eager. If anything, he now knows there is no one better than Riku whom he could enjoy watching actions movies with.

" Sweet, I'll be there. " He snatches the ticket from her hands as quick as she has offered it to him, inspecting the small paper for the details. And what's up with questioning his honesty ?  He wasn't that kind of asshole. She's gotta pay for that. And so he feigns concern, corners of his lips falling dramatically. " Man, we're gonna have a real hard time -  " He pockets the ticket & his hands, turning back to Riku with the laziest little smirk on his lips. "  - making this look like anything but a date.  " 

#riku exists & shou decides to become obnoxiously insufferable im sorry JAGSJQGSHSG #LITTLE SHIT!!!!!!!!! #help plz i cant stop thinking abt them in the cinema and the most exaggerated unrealistic death plays on screen and #riku just barely hears shou talking to himself “ weak. I could survive that ... ” #AJDGAJGSJSHD #thank u for sending this it kicked my muse back in place fr #ショウ ; distortion confronts both heart and mind. / writing. #ショウ ; we scraped our bones to get fire. / inbox. #audienceled

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despair isn't something as grand as hope; it's so small... and inconsequential

#LERFFFFF OMGGGG #sm ppl r returning.... life is good guys im so happy #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; promo.

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Sorry I've been so slow I'm rereading mp100 & rereading opm & watching the opm anime & trying to find somewhere to watch dungeon meshi & playing sky children of the light

#peach consumerism era #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; ooc.

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LITA

this is what my notes looked like april 1st // @espectres

#NEW FAVE THING #THIS IS SO CUTE IM CRYINGGGG #They're so siblings coded i love it #I LOVED ALL THE BOOPS U BOOPED MY WAY I'LL THINK ABT THEM 4EVER & EVER THANK YOU #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; saved.

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pov your muse & shou are helping natsumi run her errands and the last thing they hear is a meow before the two suzukis leave your muse in the dust

#they do a soft little “! neko ? ” before dashing its way #this family is obsessed with cats #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; ooc.

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hey

@1punch

#not promoting my ass until i actually finish the blog but it's out there ig #𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 ; ooc.