essaysbyciara
silk shirts and my chest show, what a flirt.
Ciara. 36. semi-retired fanfiction auteur. hella nostalgic. i was outside for a lot. your big sister on the internet. DMs are open for anything except dicks (in spirit and in truth.)
8997 posts
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Last Seen Blogs
booknet
Booknet.
fjpa
Fj Blogs
cuir-et-bois
Cuir et bois
code-lab
code_lab by geniuspanda
divinedaydreamsshop
Divine Daydreams
Text
Seismic Waves (...or Infatuations With Ghosts)
Peace. Appreciate y'all letting this be the space where I work out some things without the gaze of the goons. Medium-weight smut thoughts in this one, maybe.
“Did you write about me today?”
“Was I supposed to?”
“I don’t know. You could fuck me instead. It’s your call.”
I’m in a toxic relationship with the dingy white walls that surround me. Dressed in the sunlight of outside, reds and greens and blues. Blue from Parliament and Bootsy. I’ve been watching youuuuu… I know you have. From behind. You have a fetish for watching me bounce off of you. I’m losing my mind.
You got jealous because I escaped. For a brief moment. Through the words of a stranger. Words mean things. One moment when I wasn’t wrapped in your warm embrace. I don’t think you even know your warmth. Can you even rise to that occasion? I sank into the covers to get away from your cold front. Naps take me away.
I fell asleep to quell the pulse from cheating on you. With a stranger. It was nice to get away from you for a brief moment in time. I don’t know who or what to call him. I just know how it made me feel. Disheveled in all the right ways.
Like, who was he and why did he move me so viciously that I fell face-first into a pile of gleeful discomfort and gratitude? Creatives vex me so.
Another creative just called me. The first time in a long time, the fifth since I decided to lay captive in the silence. I rather hear my own thoughts – and your belittlement – than whatever missives he's primed to give me. He bores my soul. He’s an escape but not of the good kind. I found myself peeking out the window to look at him when I felt that he was the only way to get away from you. He hurt me way more than you ever could. I can’t fake how you make me feel after you make a mess of me.
Speaking of messes ...you saw the mess this stranger made of me. Anger seeped through the plaster that covers you. They saw something that you could never: a person. It felt so good to be seen. You just look. There’s a difference.
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
“a community without romance risks being brutish and crass, superficial and brittle, cruel and even muderous. . . i don’t mean just romantic romance. i don’t just mean erotic romance. . . i mean the romance that allows us to soften our voices when we see each other.”
maya angelou, 1998
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
like, i want to cry about this.
i'm mad clingy and needy and full of yearn and lust and have no one to dump this energy onto right now and it's burning me up.
usually i'm fine. when you're intentionally sitting out of the dating game, you just learn how to let the feelings pass. but today, right now, i just wanna smother the shit out of a man. like, i'm tingling. shit is so weird lol.
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
It is what it is but like. Can it be something else
64K notes
·
View notes
