esthermika

[esthermika]

not enough people know about the rabbit hole. its all over the internet, productivity youtube, tutorial hell, social media drama, etc. Anything that takes up time you could be spending being actually entertained by something novel and thought provoking.

I'm the kind of person who spends an entire day on youtube watching videos I don't really care about instead of doing literally anything else. I didn't understand why. I think part of the reason why is that this kind of productivity content, mindset bullshit is very effective at making it feel like your learning something. I've spent an entire evening of my short life learning about neovim configurations when I don't even use the damn thing for anything fancier then editing a config file once in a while, but I _felt_ like I was learning about something important and useful.

I need to get out of the rabbit hole. I need to stop trying to optimize every aspect of my life and just start doing things again. Part of what got me to realize this was my speedrunning practice. It was the only aspect of my life that I actively committed to putting in effort towards everyday and I saw results. I'm consistent now, even if I'm still not where I want to be. Meanwhile, I've spent more hours worrying about my writing workflow then actually writing things. Same with programming, game dev, school, hygiene, sleep, etc.

Sorry for the ramble but I need to commit to get away from the rabbit hole and this is my way of doing that. It's on the internet now. If I ever find myself falling into it again I can read this post back. Maybe it might help someone

#mika's thought cabin

[esthermika]

oh fuck *falls back into old habits* *screen fades to black* *level loading* TIP: your belief that you are incapable of changing for the better will become a self fulfilling prophecy if left unchallenged

[esthermika]

my favorite position is called "decolonized missionary" it's like normal missionary but she kills me

[esthermika]

Yea, your girl is a masochist, but have you confirmed the types of pain that she's comfortable with??

Sure, your lover is into petplay, but have you talked about whether you're supposed to yank on that leash??

Absolutely, she's into degradation, but do you know whether that name makes her think of a bad ex??

Mhmm, your girl is into getting choked, but do you know how to grab her without endangering her?? Do you even know if she wants you to stop her blood flow and/or airways???

I see, your darling is into rope, but do you know whether you're tying them up in a position they don't like?? Did you even remember your rounded edge scissors in case of emergency??

Okay, so it's into CNC, do you react with care and compassion if/when it safewords??

Yea, your Dom/me is hot and scary, but have you communicated your needs, and wants, and appreciation for them?? Are you ever making sure they're having fun?? Are you ever even using your safewords, if not why?? You might need to!

Just please, I'm so so tired of hearing people pushed away from/out of kink spaces whether, online or irl, because there are some kinksters out there that cannot practice safely.

[esthermika]

[Not my recordings. This is what’s left of the dialogue in question.]

[esthermika]

getting evicted is wild. they really just took my home like that. I have 2 weeks to get the fuck out and i'm hundreds of kms away. i was supposed to be on holiday for a week to relax before finals season but they don't fucking care. they want just HAVE to have construction happen in the middle of the holiday to install those pay to use washing machine (to conserve energy, of course), replace the shitty uncomfortable chair in the apartments for even shittier ones and put an AC in every room!! (to conserve energy... right?)

tldr: college is a scam and I want to be dismantled

#mika's thought cabin #ventpost

[esthermika]

Alien who meets trans people first and gets confused when it meets cis ones.

“Ah, I see you are a…mutant.”

Cis person: “Wha—“

Their trans friend, laughing : “Yeah basically they are.”

[esthermika]

becoming a college student is the quickest way to find out just how little people respect the poor.

#mika's thought cabin

[esthermika]

the point of being alive is to cuddle and sleep and not do anything important ever

#mika's thought cabin

[esthermika]

You couldn’t watersport that out of me

[esthermika]

Reblog if you're a cuddler.

[esthermika]

Reblog if you're a cuddler.

[esthermika]

Reblog if you're a cuddler.

[esthermika]

Reblog if you're a cuddler.

[esthermika]

Reblog if you're a cuddler.

[esthermika]

putting you ina big bed with all my plushie friends

my ass is EEPY

[esthermika]

rare elle dom moment

thinking about tying up and spooning a sub, and then jerking them off as i whisper sweet praises into their ear <3