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so i’ve realized if i get top surgery i’m gonna have my nipples removed so ive been coming up with a list of replies to say if people ever ask me where my nipples are:

“i had nipples until… the incident…”

“a piece of advice: never try to zip up your jacket in a wind storm!”

“that’s the last time i go to shirtless benihana i’ll tell you that much”

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Emma: How did you get out of those handcuffs? Rumple: I had a key. Emma: Where? We searched you. Rumple: I swallowed it last Tuesday. Henry: Cool, how'd you know you'd need it? Rumple: I swallow it every Tuesday.

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여어- 히싸씨부리 （ ɔ̸ᴉʇɐ͟N͞さんのツイート ）

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April 28, 2024 - An unintentionally funny video by a zionist propagandist shows off some good organisation and discipline at the UCLA encampment for Palestine.

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NEXT TIME ON DOCTOR WHO:

Ninth Doctor: Here we are! Mediaeval England!

cut

Rose: It’s like… an egg. A big egg.

cut

Mediaeval king: My men! We ride!

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Ninth Doctor: There’s something wrong here. I can feel it.

cut

Rose: Hello? I’m Rose. I’m not gonna hurt you. The Doctor, he’s got this… thing. This screwdriver. Maybe he can put you back together again.

cut

Unsettling seer: The fall is nigh. The eggs are in their baskets.

cut

Ninth Doctor: Oh, this is really bad.

cut

Charismatic villain: I’m sorry, Doctor, but I’m afraid it’s time… for a fall.

cut

CGI monster: (hissing) The Geltheen Host must rise again! The hatching must commence!

cut

(Shot of something emerging from an egg and shrieking)

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Ninth Doctor: They’re on every wall, in every square, in every town in the country! A hundred eggs, all ready to hatch!

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Rose: We have to do something, or they’re all gonna die!

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Ninth Doctor: (shouting from the distance) ROSE! DON’T TOUCH THAT EGG!

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Charismatic villain: When I use a word… it means exactly what I choose it to mean.

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Ninth Doctor: (shouting, angry) ALL THE KING’S HORSES! AND ALL THE KING’S MEN!

cut

Charismatic villain: Let the shattering of this world… commence.

cliffhanger sting

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While we're at it: using language that downplays genocide is a form of genocide denial.

Joe Biden isn't doing a bad job, Joe Biden is providing material support for genocide.

Israel isn't handling the situation badly, Israel is committing genocide.

Employing euphemisms minimizes the reality of this genocide. It's disrespectful and dangerous.

If you are more uncomfortable with the word genocide than you are with the reality of genocide, then you are not prepared to be part of any serious discussion. Work on that on your own time.

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Chat's not a pronoun. It's a word of address, like y'all.

"chat is a pronoun" has officially joined my list of internet linguistics pet peeves. "emojis are hieroglyphs" is welcoming them to the club.

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Something about having an universal translator, and learning to understand without it

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Reblog to yank prev’s leash :3

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They're reaaallllyy sore, I've been massaging them all morning but it's not enough

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I would like something more in the opposite where you start off with a full orchestra, but every time one of them dies, their instrument stops. And like, it still plays known music, but bit by bit, you notice gaps in the scores. Maybe during one of the main characters solo, they dies right in the middle, and there's a long string of silence. Maybe at the end, there's a single instrument (triangle) for the lone survivor.

I can’t breathe

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Reblogging this again because it took 30 minutes to find this specific compound butter because I didn't think to write it down last time.

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the beauty of watching star trek is that one episode is 4.7/5 stars with an absolutely groundbreaking concept and worldwide critical acclaim and the very next episode is the worst thing aired on television that decade

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found a dude who does VR cruisin and boozin and im IN LOVE