Personally, I donât really see anything wrong with giving Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. What else was Obi-Wan gonna do? (He pretty much raised Anakin and look how that turned out, heâs not gonna risk Round 2.) (He could have given both kiddos to Bail and Breha Organa, actually. Luke and Leia Organa is a cool as heck AU.)
I like Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. As much as people like to say Luke really is Padmeâs son, he didnât get those morals from her. (Keeping in mind I have read no comics or novelizations, and not seen the Clone Wars TV show) Itâs pretty clear that Lukeâs iron spine and goodness and refusal to abandon his friends come from his upbringing. Owen and Beru Lars are kinda the Ma and Pa Kent of the Star Wars universe.Â
And they are Lukeâs family. Owen is Shmiâs stepson. Owen and Beru probably knew Anakinâs mother for years. Itâs a neat circle, and in some ways it has the feelings of an apology, for Obi-Wan to bring Luke back to his family on Tatooine in the same way that Qui-Gon took Anakin. Obi-Wan canât undo whatâs been done, and he canât start over, but he can give Luke what the Jedi denied Anakin: a loving family and normal upbringing.Â
Tatooine is Darth Vaderâs home planet? Yeah, sure, but did Anakin ever go back to Tatooine? (Probably once or twice, Iâm guessing, in the comics at least.) Darth Vader hates that place. Bad memories. Damn sand would fuck up his suit. Heâd burn it all down and then the Hutts are gonna be pissed. And how many people actually know that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker? Like, about five? (Bail, Obi-Wan, Yoda, R2-D2, and Ahsoka?) Dude is not exactly getting invites to school reunions and the weddings of childhood friends, is all Iâm saying.Â
Even if Darth Vader ever went back to Tatooine, Tatooine is a big place. The Lars Farm is in the middle of nowhere and Obi-Wan is hanging out left of the funky rock five miles past nowhere. Anakin met his stepbrother once in the entire film trilogy and idk if they even exchanged words, much less space e-mail addresses. I kind of doubt that Uncle Owen and Darth Vader are sending each other Life Day e-cards. (Thatâs really funny, actually.)Â
Anyway, the point of this rant is that I want you to imagine new parents Owen and Beru Lars caring for toddler Luke, itâs just after Life Day, and someone rings the doorbell. Owen Lars opens up to Darth Vader holding a fruit basket, because he didnât know what else to do for Life Day and spontaneously decided to visit distant family rather than mope in his Evil Castle again.Â
(Everything Obi-Wan hoped would never happen, just⌠happening.)
Owen, after introductions, panicking, âUh⌠the suit is⌠new.âÂ
He has to invite Vader in, because itâs Life Day and how exactly do you tell Darth Vader to fuck off? Then Owen and Beru have a hushed argument in the kitchen while Darth Vader is sitting awkwardly in their living room with a drink that he canât actually drink but took to be polite. When they come out, they introduce Luke as Luke Whitesun, Beruâs late brotherâs kid, which they guess makes Luke⌠Darth Vaderâs⌠nephew. (They canât hide him, Vaderâs already seen this 2-3 yr old Luke and the house is COVERED in baby and kid stuff.)Â
And Darth Vader just⌠fucking falls for it.Â
And the Lars family has to spend the holidays with Uncle Darth Vader who is super keen to have a step-nephew-in-law. Beru is showing off her cross-stitching to Darth fucking Vader as Luke plays at their feet. Owen is in the kitchen sending a desperate space text to Obi-Wan, who basically has a heart attack on the spot when Owen sends a shitty stealth-pic of Darth Vader on their couch.Â
Bonus points if the Larsâ donât even move after this, because Vader left without issue and Uncle Owen afterwards was like, âIt turned out fine. I donât want to move, thatâs too much hassle.â So, every major holiday, Luke gets a visit from his Uncle Darth Vader, which works out fine so long as they instigate a âDonât Talk About Politicsâ rule when Luke starts getting excited about Rebellions and starts bad-mouthing the Empire (Vader making small talk at a Star Destroyer water cooler to his terrified staff: âUgh, Iâm going to have to debate my liberal 13-yr-old nephew at the dinner table again.â), and Vader even helps with the dishes and stuff, and every time Obi-Wan ages an extra year from stress.Â
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OhâŚ. Well, itâs over for Crunchyroll I guess
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This is why you don't sleep with the Tyrant King - The consequence is children
Constantine avoids involvement with the Infinite Realms for two reasons.
Who wants to deal with all those Ancients in the first place?
Heâs avoiding yet another unhinged ex of his.
Of course, hooking up with Pariah Dark wasnât really an actual relationship, more like a one night stand via dream walking (Nocturn owed Pariah, but seeing as it would be insane to release the Tyrant King from his endless sleep, heâd give him a dream partner every couple centuries) - regardless, Constantine doesnât want to deal with that.
So yeah - the fact that the Justice League is attempting to summon the High King into the Watchtower has him wanting to drink more than usual.
Of course he gave warnings, but theyâre dead set on doing so. A green folder had appeared in the secure âcursed artifactsâ vault with no trace of whoever left it there. How else were they gonna find out how it got there?
So Constantineâs stuck there to set up wards, and is trying to find his way out of this one.
When the summoning circle worked, no one expected the teenager to pop out of it.Â
Instead of Pariah Dark, or even the sarcophagus showing up, there was a white haired ghost boy with glowing green eyes the same color as the flames of the Crown of Fire. Except he didnât look exactly like the others ghosts. He had a human skin tone, his proportions were exactly like a human teenagerâs, and he was wearing a black and white hoodie with black sweatpants, for Godâs sake.Â
⌠Were ghosts able to reproduce with humans?
Before any of the Justice League can get into questioning, Constantine speaks up:
âYouâre not the Ghost King.â
Green eyes settle on him, lighting up with recognition - Danny knows exactly who this is, with the amount of complaints on his desk about the blonde. Clockwork also informed him (he didnât want to know but now he does) of the manâs stint with Pariah.Â
Daniel âCommit to the bitâ Fenton chooses to do just that.
âOf course not,â The confusion crosses the face of the heroes present- âThatâs just because I havenât had my coronation yet! Iâm the Crown Prince, itâs practically the same thing!â
Oh, and the dread and realization crossing Constantineâs face is almost enough to make his core purr in amusement.Â
âNow I will gladly answer all your questions, but first!â His eyes swept over the heroes before raising his hand and pointing accusingly at the British warlock.
âJohn Constantine,â his voice boomed, the temperature of the meeting room dropping as his face stretched with a smile too big and too pointy, âYou owe me fifteen years of child support.â
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things iâll not call you a whore for:
sexual activity
how you dress
things iâll call you a whore for:
stealing my foodÂ
stealing my lemons
my cat likes you more than me
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Well out of the blue I just remembered today the time I accidentally joined the cast of a production of The Princess BrideâŚ.in the middle of the production.
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Prompt 211
The figure looked down at Billy. Billy looked up at the figure awkwardly from where he was digging through a trash can.Â
âUm⌠I can explain!âÂ
Okay he honestly couldnât, and instead threw a bag at them and booked it like his life depended on it. Which it might! Living in Fawcett meant that there were magical entities everywhere, even if they looked human, and he wasnât going to get stolen by some fae!Â
âŚ
And they caught him. Great. Heâs going to die now or get thrown back into foster care- huh? Food? Theyâre offering- no no, this is some fae bullshit, isnât it! ⌠But heâs also hungry, so maybe itâll be worth itâŚ
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Jazz and Johnny got...way more involved that Danny will ever want to know.
And Jazz, very liminal, actually fell pregnant.
She opted to leave for a bit, have the baby, and adopt it out. It was half ghost and half very liminal human, she had no idea what the GIW would do to it.
So she left on an "extended study trip", gave birth, gave it over to the adoption agency, warned them there was a high chance the kid would be a meta, and went about recovering.
Unbeknownst to her, that baby was immediately stolen by one Sheila Haywood for the purposes of tax fraud.
From there, the baby was given to Willis Todd, after Sheila lied and said that he was the father.
From there, the baby was put under the care of Catharine Todd, who died far too young.
From there, the kid tried to steal Batman's tires so he wouldn't starve.
Fast forward, and Jason Todd, now an adult, decides to pay a visit to the new head Psychologist of Arkham to vet the lady.
He ends up staring into a set of eyes that mirror his own, and when he runs the DNA from the hair he stole off of her, it comes back positive that yeah.
That's his mom.
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I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.
- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.
- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.
- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.
That's love. đââŹđâ¤ď¸
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Danny judges the Family Business
Danny: How many kids do you have? How many vigilantes are in Gotham right now?
Batman: ... you know how many.
Danny: Seriously, your grandson too? Couldn't stick to just yourself?
Flash: Can we not?
Danny: ... I mean I sorta understand the clone thing makes it murky water, but COME ON!
Superman: *sweating*
And finally, finally, they have enough of the lectures. They know Danny's identity, they know of his parents, his sister. So they ask.
Batman: Would you not tell your parents if you needed help.
Danny: I chose not to tell my parents! My dad has his own section on the news if he's out driving, I don't want them on my team!
JL: .. What?
Danny: I mean, yeah, they'd be helpful on the government research side of things, but... You guys obviously looked into this, they can't aim for shit most of the time! They cause more property damage than any of the ghosts do in the longterm. My dad would probably shout out my name each time he saw me on patrol. Besides, they've calmed down the whoke vivisection thing, they're more like... safari people now. If the ghosts aren't actively attacking, they watch and make notes to study behavior.
Wonderwoman: And your sister? She helped you did she not?
Danny: Yeah, when I was 14 and freshly dead? Believe me, the moment she had an out we both took it. She's studying out in California now, and she's only stepping in for emergencies. Like, end of the dimension emergencies, not 'Oh I've been stabbed again' emergencies.
-----
I find the idea that Danny lectures the JL about the younger heroes and like, making sure they aren't prioritizing hero work out of duty really funny. This undead boy took up his own duty when the only other option was his parents and their inventions (one of which actually killed him by opening a door to another dimension) and felt obliged to deal with the ghosts for both the living and the dead's sakes. He opened the portal, he'll clean up the mess while keeping everyone safe. Sam and Tucker got to help, but once he got control of his powers (maybe once he gets the crown and authority in a Ghost King setting), he's offered them outs as well. They take them slightly. They step in for the heavy hitters, but generally Phantom flies solo; besides JL business. Maybe Dani joins in, but she's her own free spirit so it's not like she sticks around long.
Danny wants to know that all these younger heroes are there because they wanna be, not sacrificing a normal life because of feeling pressured or needing to live up to the expectations of their guardians/mentors.
And I know the JL care about these kids, Danny just ain't sure (He can glance at the BatClan and just smell the death and drama) - and he wants to be. These kids better have a healthy work-life balance, so help him Ancients.
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He'd moved to metropolis on a whim.
The city was big, he's earning good money via commissioned things (most people come to him for cosplay actually, who knew that knowing how to build a sci-fi gun that doesn't even work would be this wanted??) and he's got a nice apartment!
Superman and Supergirl were the active heroes, he didn't need to involve himself anymore with the world of heroes, he would continue as a civilian. It was better this way.
So how come LexLuthor, of all people, what is his luck?, sends him an invitation to LexCorp AND once declined, seemed to have created some sort of energy absorbing weapon that directly zoomed in on his immediate whenever around?
Civilian life is one thing.
Being rescued via Super for the 9th time is another.
"Hey Danny." Supergirl grins, they're floating to the side as Superman deals with Lex.
"Hey, Supergirl." Danny replies with a sigh, holding his bag.
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Jazz was trying not to "freak out," as her brother and his friends would say. He hadn't come home last night. Sam and Tucker hadn't seen him since they'd split after handling Crate Creep, or whatever that ghost's name was.
She loved her parents. And she trusted them--to a point. Which was why, at four-thirty in the morning, she sneaked down to the basement. Just to check. They probably hadn't discovered anything. After all, if they had they would have been very noisy about it, and she hadn't heard anything from them all day.
The basement, though, was empty. So he wasn't in the basement. He wasn't with Sam or Tucker. It was getting to six in the morning. Where was her brother?!
Her phone rang and she nearly broke it as she answered it. The moment she heard Danny's voice she started yelling at him for scaring her, for not contacting her sooner, for not--
Wait a minute.
Did Danny just say something about a baby?
Full Baby Back Guarantee Not Included (dp x dc)
âLook, lady. It was a joke, ok? I donât actually want your newborn baby,â Danny said as he held up his hands trying to back away from the woman with a bundle of blankets in her arms.
âWe made a deal, you canât back out now,â The woman said as she narrowed her eyes at him. âYour kind canât break their words.â
âMy kind?â Danny exclaimed incredulously, because what the hell was she on. âLady, you are delusional.â
Then his eyes caught on the awkward way the woman was holding onto the bundle and he frowned.
âWait a second.â The halfaâs eyes went big. âIs that even your kid?!â his voice turning into a shriek at the end. âDid you kidnap some random child?â
âItâs my sisterâs,â the woman cut him off coldly. âShe and the father are both dead.â That was pretty awful, Danny thought as he winced. But then she turned to look blankly at him.
âNobody will look for her.â
Dear skies above, he was supposed to be the ghost here, why was he the one getting chills.
âHoly fuck,â the halfa let out softly.Â
He had to get that baby away from that psychopath.
âWhat is it you want again?â Danny asked faintly.
âMake me the new chief operating officer,â the woman answered.
âWhat?â The halfa choked out.
âTheyâre giving the position to Shwartz this monday. You need to make sure that doesnât happen,â she continued evenly as if she wasnât currently selling a baby in exchange for a fucking promotion.
âYeah sure, deal,â Danny answered, eager to get away from her as soon as possible.Â
âGive me your word,â she insisted.
âI give my word, I swear,â the halfa said. âGimme the kid and youâll get your job.â
The woman looked at him for a second before seemingly being satisfied.Â
She extended the bundle of blankets towards him and handed him the swaddle baby. As soon as the kid was in his arms, Danny zipped away, fully intent on never seeing the woman again. He sure as hell was not getting her that promotion. Not that he wouldâve been able to, what the hell, lady? At least research better before making a deal for your sister's baby!
Though in retrospect, it was a good thing she hadn't.
As Danny flew over a few buildings, he thanked the ancients the woman hadnât had any ghost restraining tech, and only the summoning ritual. Which was a thing he had not been aware existed but he he would have to circle back to that because, right now, he had a whole ass baby nestled in his arms.
What the hell was his life.
Danny slowed down the flight once he felt he had put enough distance between them and the psycho and landed on a nice patch of green next to a road. He looked around and took notice that theyâd gotten out of whatever that city had been, or at least the more populated part. He gave a quick look for people or cameras around before de-transforming. If he was spotted with a baby in his arms, his human look would help his chance of not getting shot.
The halfa started walking away from the road and towards the green vegetation. Still walking, he took a deep breath before looking down at the baby.
âYou ok, kid?â Danny asked softly as their small (so so tiny!) face twitched in their sleep. âOh youâre sleepy, huh?â he murmured gently. âSleep tight sweetheart, Iâve got you.â
Then he secured the blankets around the baby again, making sure none of the wind was reaching her. It was probably a her? The blankets were pink but he couldnât know for sure since the psycho had only called her an it. Danny felt his lips curl. And as the night replayed in his mind, he felt the weight of the situation settle down on him.
Ancients what was he going to do?
He couldnât pull up in Amity with a baby in his arms and no explanation of how he got her. Heâd be arrested for kidnapping, which was technically absolutely what he was doing. But then again he couldn't just give that baby back to her aunt.
âWhat are you doing here?â came a voice from ahead of him.
Danny startled out of his thoughts to find himself facing an older man in a suit with a severe look on his face. The halfa instinctively brought the baby closer to his chest and the movement drew the older manâs eyes towards it.
Danny could see the realization of what it was he was holding settle and the man's face softened. He sighed deeply as his gaze went back up to meet the halfaâs.
âDespite what the media fancy printing, Wayne manor is not actually an orphanage.â
Danny had no idea what he was talking about so he just stayed silent and did his best not to look like someone who kidnapped babies.
The older man took the silence in stride. âIf you need some help, there are programs to help young people in your situation,â he continued delicately.
Danny frowned as he tried to figure out what the guy meant by that before his eyes grew wide. âIâm not her dad!â He cried.
âI see,â the man said evenly as he looked back down at the bundle. Danny held her closer in response. âI see,â the guy repeated with a slight change in his voice.
The two held each otherâs gaze for a moment before the older man sighed again.Â
âShall we continue this inside? It is getting windy and we wouldnât want the little one to suffer, would we?â The man offered in a soothing tone.
Danny hesitated but one look at the kidâs face that had grown pink from the cold decided him.
âOk,â Danny said. âLead the way.â
And with that the three of them started across the grassy lawn.
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The Japanese hairdresser Megumi Takeichi cuts patterns into the hair of a camel ahead of the Bikaner Camel Festival in Bikaner in the western Indian state of Rajasthan on January 10, 2019 by Dinesh Gupta
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"can you explain this gap in your resume" Oh yeah sorry i got sent to the 1300s and i had to fight evil skeletons
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Ebi
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