fearthereaperx

[fearthereaperx]

“No, they’re not,” Laura agreed with a soft chuckle, happy to hide behind the jewelry she made for a living. No, it wasn’t near as exciting as dashing into a fire, but it was all she felt she could handle, and she was glad that there were people out there like Taliah who could handle racing headfirst into the flames so that the rest of them didn’t have to. Sobering then, her features softened as the younger woman opened up about how dreams and goals tended to shift once life got ahold of them. “Life’s odd like that,” she mused aloud, both to show Taliah that she was listening, but also to show her that she wholeheartedly agreed. Fate had a way of taking everything a person knew and shaking it up a bit– often in the best and worst ways. And while fire had stolen Taliah’s dreams right out from underneath her, in a way, it had also laid the groundwork for a different one, and Laura could see that the younger woman had seized that opportunity in a way others might not have. “Hey, don’t apologize,” she murmured, quickly shaking her head, “You have no idea how much I love hearing all of this.” Especially because she knew bits and pieces of the horrors that had brought Taliah to that place. After losing her mother in such a horrific way, she’d found a way to honor her in her life’s work– of course Laura admired her for it and would never tire of hearing about it.

Chuckling softly, she nodded, “Sounds pretty familiar, yeah,” she agreed, easily drawing the comparisons between Cole and Kip. It wasn’t hard to do, with both of them being tragic enough to make her heart ache with that need to show them they were loved. With Kip, though, she’d stood back, giving the next generation to step forward…and they hadn’t disappointed. “Just bring him close,” she murmured, nodding firmly, “He’ll be just fine, just like Cole was.” With the sort of support system Kip would have, Laura had to believe that.

Grinning wide, Laura found herself feeling warm from the outside in just by Taliah’s words, because it was everything she’d ever wanted for her nephew. She wanted someone to realize his worth and then meet it. Luckily for her, Taliah did more than that– she surpassed everything she’d ever hoped for whenever it came to Cole. Laughing as she turned that little half-hug into a full one, Laura shook her head as she rested her chin on Taliah’s shoulder, “I’m just glad you two figured it out while I was alive– I’d haunt both of you forever if you hadn’t.” Later was better than never in her view, and it always would be. 

Easing back just enough to get a better look at her, Laura raised a hand, her thumb brushing a few of Taliah’s free falling tears away, “It’s what you needed,” she pressed, head shaking gently, “What you deserved.” In her mind, what she’d done all those years ago wasn’t anything spectacular, it was simply what she thought was right. Laura had lost her own mother far earlier than what she’d felt was fair, and so gravitating towards Taliah after she’d emigrated from Turkey had felt as natural as breathing. “Hey…well, I’m always here, alright? Don’t care what it’s about, what hour of the night– you’re family.” That had always rang true, even before she’d been involved with Cole, and it’d be true regardless, though Laura selfishly hoped she wouldn’t even have to factor in that possibility. “I can agree to that. What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?” She was talking about keeping the tears to themselves, of course. That was easy enough in her mind. Really, she’d rather focus on a different promise– the way Taliah vowed to keep her nephew safe. Promising to love him was a given– the bare minimum she’d expect– but keeping him safe? It was something altogether different– a weight Laura felt that Taliah truly understood. “You know what’s nice?” She started, tipping her head to the side as she gazed at the other woman, “I actually believe you when you say that– that he’s safe with you. That’s a first.” For so long, she’d been so reluctant to let go and actually trust someone to give a shit about Cole the way she did, but this…here and now? It felt easier than breathing. “I mean– of course, there’s the club, and all that, but…as far as keeping his heart safe…I know you mean it.”

"Yeah, I get that. Not everyone's made to run into fire," in the literal sense, she meant. "I guess I wasn't either." The words came out before she'd even considered them and it made her pause, and think about what drove her to follow that path. A light, tainted smile graced her lips. "Life is curious that way. All my life I had one dream and one goal, I knew I wanted to be a dancer, and then all of a sudden, everything changed." Taliah shrugged a shoulder, knowing she didn't need to delve into what that change was, it was what brought her here to Tonopah, to the club, public information. "I had a new dream, goal, ambition, whatever you want to call it. I like the idea that through my own loss, I have the power to stop others experiencing that same feeling." The feeling of losing a loved one through fire. "Sorry," she quickly adds with a half laugh, half scoff, waving her hand as if to wave the conversation away. There was just something about Laura that always made her feel like she could open up. The Monroe effect, always present and active, apparently.

"He's just so young, and he's been through so much, more than any of us know right now, I'm sure of it. Because you're right, it is the blue eyes... The sadness there even when he smiles. Something awfully familiar to you, I'm sure," a cheeky little smirk as she thought about Cole. "I think that's why he pulled him close, you know? Cole sees himself in him, and so do I." It was actually quite undeniable, and all she knew was that she wanted to protect Kip as much as Cole did.

"He's good for me." She replies softly, not wanting to steal any spotlight from the fact that she was as good for him as he was her. "You kinda make me want to say sorry for how long it took us to see what apparently everyone else did," she chokes on a laugh, finding herself all the more emotional the second Laura's arm comes around her. Deciding to twist around and give her a full hug, a half hug didn't feel enough for the depth of the conversation. "Blood isnt the only thing that makes a mother, because when I needed mine and she couldn't be there, you were. You were patient, warm and kind, everything I needed when I needed it the most." Squeezing gently at the sides of her arms, she doesn't bother to hide the gentle tears that fall.

"I just needed you to know that. Because I've looked to you and up to you for years, I need you to know that feeling in me has been there long before now," meaning, it wasn't just because she was now romantically involved with her nephew. "Oh yeah, I'm well aware." She huffed out a laugh as she brushed at her eyes and took a deep breathe - an attempt to collect herself. Glazed brown eyes look towards her, nothing but a solemn, kind smile and a slight nod of her head, "Always, I swear." Taliah felt like she had always tried to take care of Cole, so it wasn't a chore, it wasn't a stress, it was an honor to have the ability to be there for a man who deserved to be taken care of.

"I mean, if you're going to deny it, maybe we can just keep the tears between us." She laughs softly, knocking her elbow into hers. Telling Laura that these personal specifics? They didn't actually need to be shared or talked about, it was just a beautiful moment between two people who adored and wanted the best for the same person. "I got him now. He's safe with me."

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( laura & taliah 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

Glancing between the two of them, it wasn’t hard at all for Laura to note all the similarities that passed between them, not only in appearance but demeanor, which was even more impressive considering how they’d spent the bulk of their lives running in entirely separate circles. Chuckling warmly, Laura shook her head, only half-protesting, “Nah, he’s a pretty good judge of character– for the most part,” though the way she said it left a little wiggle room for interpretation, hinting at Laura’s obvious disapproval of some of the people her nephew had chosen to spend time with over the years. That was as far as her explanation dare go though– she didn’t want to outwardly disrespect the dead and call Cassie Donovan by name. “I am standin’ right here, y’know,” Cole interjected, his tone light and playful as he lifted a brow at both of them, reminding them that he hadn’t gone deaf just yet. 

Still, despite all their joking and that little moment of giving Cole a hard time, Laura wasn’t worried whenever it came to Sawyer. It was almost as though she could tell just by looking at her and watching the two of them inhabit the same space that Sawyer cared about Cole– and that was all Laura ever wanted whenever it came to anyone who entered his life. During his formative years, she couldn’t confidently say that Cole had had that from anyone– and so naturally, she felt protective of him now, wanting nothing but the best for him. It was part of why she’d opted for the never before opened, top shelf bourbon. This was quite the occasion, and it deserved to be treated as such. Smiling warmly between the two of them, she raised her glass to her lips, “Only one way to find out.” Though it went without saying that Sawyer had made it worth the wait. 

It’d been difficult for both Laura and Michael, having known this entire time that Cole and Sawyer shared a father, and perhaps if Jeffrey Decker had been anyone other than who he was, Laura might’ve let Cole in on the truth far sooner than she had. But…late was better than never, judging by the closeness she could sense between the pair in front of her now. “Wow, that’s smooth, huh?” She remarked, reaching for the bottle of bourbon with a hint of admiration in her eye as she poured them each a bit more. “So Sawyer,” she started, not wanting to just put her on the spot, but also feeling like she could, based on what she guessed Sawyer experienced daily in the courtroom, “Help me get to know you– tell me about yourself.”

Laura sparked a smirk on her face almost as soon as she reentered the room. She observed the woman with a soft but calculating gaze, driven by a burning curiosity to uncover the influences behind her brother's upbringing, to piece together the narrative of his life beyond the confining grip of Jeffery Decker. Sawyer was seldom greeted with open arms; she carved out her own spaces, demanded her presence be acknowledged. Yet, here, within the walls of Laura's home, she sensed a genuine acceptance. Despite the absence of blood ties, there was an unspoken bond. In her world, family was a title earned, not given, and yet - she felt like family standing in front of his aunt.

A shrug accompanied her words. "Or so i've been told anyways." But the smirk on her face broadened in response to the woman's inquiry. Her blue eyes flickered momentarily towards Cole, before locking back onto Laura. "Suppose that's because he's never been under the wing of an older sister," Her voice a blend of cool confidence and underlying warmth. "No point of reference for him to compare." She added, a hint of amusement in her tone, yet the depth of her commitment to her brother was unmistakable. Sawyer stood as a fierce protector, ready to move mountains for him or Shepherd.

The allure of top-shelf bourbon was undeniable, a temptation that would normally have Sawyer nodding without a second thought. But she paused, her instincts honed from years of of negotiating the treacherous terrains of power and loyalty, telling her to observe. As the scene unfolded before her, her brows knitted together in a silent puzzle, her lips sealed to avoid tainting the moment with unnecessary words. It was only when Laura unveiled the depth of meaning cradled within that bottle of bourbon that the magnitude of the gesture fully dawned on her. A flicker of unworthiness shadowed her usually unshakeable confidence, a rare admission of vulnerability she wouldn't dare speak aloud. She had just met this woman, and the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint her by not living up to her expectation.

With a nod, she accepted the glass, her movements deliberate, mimicking Laura's as she raised her own glass slightly - a silent salute, a sign of respect and admiration. Her gaze shifted back to Laura, a challenge and a promise simmering in the depth of her eyes. "Well, let's hope I can make it worth the wait, then."

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( laura & sawyer 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

At the mere suggestion of flames crawling up walls, Laura gave a noticeable shudder and shook her head, “Personally prefer to get my kicks in other ways, but that’s definitely one way to do it,” she supplied with a chuckle, though despite how the thought sent a chill careening down her spine, she was so grateful that there were people like Taliah out there who’d willingly run right into a fire instead of running away from it. Letting her thoughts linger on the MC boys, especially Kip, Laura found herself laughing warmly and shaking her head, solely because Kip reminded her of another blue eyed boy who’d just needed that push to come out of his shell. “It’s the blue eyes– they’ll get you every single time,” she cursed despite the smile that never wavered from her lips. It wasn’t necessarily wrong though– between Michael, Cole, Riley, and now Kip, Laura understood exactly what sad blue eyes looked like, having never seen sadder pairs than those four. But, there was something to rejoice in here– Kip had found his family, he’d found his way, and that alone made Laura believe that everything else would fall into place for him sooner rather than later.

Sipping at her coffee in silence, Laura knew she’d hit Taliah with a lot. It wasn’t just the confession about her own childbearing woes, it was everything else, but she’d wanted to put it all out there for Taliah to hear as well as take to heart, because it wasn’t anything she said lightly. “You’re good for him,” she said gently, a soft smile tugging at her lips as she watched the way Taliah’s eyes welled up with tears. Laura was only speaking the truth and she knew she’d be remiss if she didn’t express any of this to the younger woman. She deserved to know and Laura had learned the hard way to never leave anything unsaid.  What she hadn’t been expecting was for Taliah to turn it right back around and hit her with a taste of her own medicine, but she was glad that she did. It meant more to Laura than she could readily put into words, but she thought the watery smile now gracing her features was a decent place to start. “Oh, sweetheart,” she murmured, leaning to the side and wrapping Taliah in a warm embrace, “I’ve always thought the world of you, and I’m always here, alright?” She hoped that Taliah knew that the invitation wasn’t extending because she was with her nephew, but that it was born out of a genuine love that Laura had for her too. Smiling gently, Laura nodded, glad that someone else could recognize Cole’s heart, “He’s one of the good ones– stubborn, and complicated as fuck, but good,” she laughed, blowing out a soft sigh, “And I need you to take care of him.” Because who was? Cole was too busy taking care of everyone else to spare a single thought for himself and she didn’t want his own needs to get buried beneath everything else. He needed someone to catch him the way he caught everyone else. “I’ll deny it every time,” Laura fired back with a laugh, “The crying part, anyway– the pie’s a dead giveaway.”

"Something like that, yeah. Running through a building that had flames crawling up the walls certainly got the blood pumping." Blowing out a breath, it was clear that in some ways, that day was still on her mind. How reckless she had been with her own safety to ensure that of a childs, and not because she regretted it. No, because she knew she would do it again. A small part of her did worry about how far she'd go to save a life, but she always tried not to dwell on such tragic scenarios. "I think I could guess, but I won't," she grinned, letting Laura keep the names off her lips, they both knew who they were anyway. "Seems like he just needs some more time to come out of his shell. He's just so... Ugh, I try not to say adorable because it sounds so patronizing, but he really is. And those sad blue eyes," shaking her head, a wash of her own sadness weaving onto her features. "Yeah... He's gonna be just fine now. I think he just needed a family." It was her own assumption, but after hearing a little about what he'd been through, she couldn't imagine she was off the mark.

Taliah nods along to what Laura was saying, hoping to find the woman was right when she said it would get easier. Or at the very least, she just wanted it to feel less like a solid weight in her chest. There's a bigger focus now she's demolished the pie, and right on time, it would seem. Laura mentioned how she couldn't have children didn't get any verbal response from Taliah - it would be in poor taste to interrupt, or even divulge whether or not she knew something so personal. The more she listened, the more she could feel how her eyes prickled with emotion. Hearing how much she loved Cole and how she approved of them as a pair was overwhelming in the best kind of way. "God, what the fuck, Laura," she whispers, a half sniffle, half laugh as she swiped a couple tears from under her eyes.

"That really means a lot. It means everything coming from you, actually." She smiled, knowing just how important she was to Cole. "I don't know if you ever realized this, but you stepped up for me that way too, you know? Back when everything fell to shit, I didn't know where to turn. All I knew was that I didn't want to turn to dad, or Serkan, what I needed was a mother's touch, and there you were." A soft, sincere smile and small nod, she could only hope Laura already knew how much those weeks had meant to her, the support had been invaluable. "And for the record, I think you're right, the universe gave you Cole, and look at who he's become. He's a credit to both you and Michael, you raised an angel." Chuckling softly, she blows out a breath and fans at her eyes. "I'm gonna tell him you gave me pie and then made me cry though." Laughing just a little louder as she jokes.

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( ft; taliah tezel. ) #( laura & taliah 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

“Baptism by fire, huh? In your case, quite literally,” Laura remarked, her mind briefly wandering back to that day and all that had transpired. It was one hell of an introduction to Taliah’s new position and Laura didn’t envy her. The younger woman had handled it well, though in Laura’s mind, there’d never been any doubt that she would. Smiling softly at Taliah’s chef’s kiss gesture, she sat a little straighter in her seat, clearly pleased by her reaction. While making jewelry was obviously Laura’s pride and joy, as well as her livelihood, cooking was a very close second. Reaching for her coffee, she chuckled into the rim of it, not at all shocked to hear that Rowan was making the same points Laura was reiterating now. “Why am I not surprised?” She teased, head shaking gently. Rowan was feral at best, but kind in her own, fearless sort of way, and Laura had always admired her tenacity. Switching gears, she took one more sip of her coffee and then nodded, giving a thoughtful hum, “You could say I’m biased towards one or two,” she divulged, those two clearly being her nephew and Riley, her late husband’s prospect. She loved them all, of course, but those two would always stand out for what she figured were obvious reasons. Warming at the mention of Kip, Laura nodded, “A little, yeah. He’s precious– kinda shy. I’m sure someone’ll break him outta that sooner rather than later.”

Making a mental note to bring Taliah pie more often, she nodded as she sipped at her coffee, giving a little thumbs up as if to say she wholly intended to do this again– but hopefully under lighter circumstances next time. “Nah, it’s not selfish at all,” Laura assured her, smiling warmly as she set her coffee aside, “It’s easy to do– asking what if and thinking about worst case scenario. I wish I could tell you that goes away but it never does completely– it does get easier though.” Maybe it just boiled down to growing more accustomed to it? That was the best Laura could figure, but it helped that Taliah had a head start– she already knew what this life looked like and the way it could drag the club away at a moment’s notice. Familiarity tended to go quite a long way, and so whenever it came to the rest of it? Laura felt sure Taliah was up to the task. A sad, yet warm smile overtook her features– she knew Taliah hadn’t meant anything malicious in what she’d said. Really, it was more of a relief than anything to hear that she loved her nephew that much. “I know, I know,” she murmured, waving off the other woman’s concern. Not once had Laura even thought to be offended by anything she’d said. She was much less focused on her own loss, preferring to push all the attention on Taliah’s gain– and, a bit selfishly, Laura’s too. In a lot of ways, she felt as though she’d gained a daughter in all of this. Shaking her head, she sighed gently, smiling softly across at her, “Don’t know if you know this, but…I couldn’t have kids, which is a pretty awful realization to come to when all you’ve ever wanted was to be a mother,” she started, lips quirking in a brief frown as she tipped her head to the side, “So when Cole came to live with us, it felt like the universe was finally saying here’s your shot, you know? And I took it, and ever since then he’s been more like a son to me than a nephew,” Laura explained, that frown quickly turning into a brief, yet warm smile. “All of that to say– when you feel that sort of motherly attachment, all you want is for someone to love your baby as much as you do. So hearing you say all these things, it just…it’s everything I’ve ever wanted for him– you are everything I’ve ever wanted for him,” Laura admitted, swallowing thickly as a familiar sheen of heat began clustering at the corners of her eyes. “He loves you too, Taliah, and it's what you both deserve– that’s really what I’m trying to say.”

"I've learned it's always best to anticipate these things. When I got this job, I thought I'd have time to settle in, but in a matter of days, July 4th happened." Puffing out a breath, she shook her head, still thinking that it was a damn miracle nobody died that day. "I will." Ask him, that was, already finding herself curious. It was exciting for her in a way, to know that there was still so much to learn about him.

Digging into the first bite of her food, her eyes widen briefly and her hand comes up in a chef kiss. Laura's cooking never disappointed, that was for sure. "Yeah, you know, people do keep telling me that. Rowan, mostly." Taliah chuckled. She offers a smile when Laura says she gets it, it was a comfort to know she had someone to go to if she ever needed advice only a woman who had been in Taliah's position could provide. "Always has been," worth it, worth all of it, she had always known that. "They all are, they're good boys. I bet you have your favorites, I know I do." Smirking, she can't help but ask, "Have you had much chance to talk to Kip yet? He's such a sweetheart." Judging by the warm dimpled grin on her features, it had to be obvious that she'd already taken something of a motherly shine to him.

"Hey, you can show up here with pie any time you want." Taliah grinned, falling into a soft sigh. "It means a lot, just being reminded that I'm not the only one thinking or feeling how I am, it's probably a bit selfish to say but it takes a weight off," to know she wasn't alone. "I just feel like..." Pausing as she realized she said that out loud when she hadn't meant to, she wanted to try and gather her explanation. "I know they're smart, all of them... But last night, being alone in a bed that's got so used to Cole being there. I got in my own head a little bit, you know? What if's," thinning her lips, she shrugs a shoulder. "I just can't... I can't be without him, not in any capacity." A quieter mumble, before she caught on to just how insensitive that might be for Laura. "Sorry, I'm... I didn't mean--" if she'd upset her, reminded her of how she had to be without her love. "I just love him, Laura, that's what I'm trying to say. I love him, I always have. He's the other half of my heart."

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( ft; taliah tezel. ) #( laura & taliah 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

Laura had always been so demonstrative in how she approached people– the emotions she wore on her wrist were clearly reflected in nearly every interaction she had. It was part of why she was so quick to embrace Sawyer– not solely because this was her nephew’s blood related sibling, but because Sawyer was a strong woman herself. Laura had noted that almost immediately and felt the need to celebrate in some small way. Chuckling softly at her response, Laura shrugged, “Any sort of buzz suits me, darlin’,” she supplied, hopefully making the choice easy by doing so. Either way, it felt like a hard liquor sort of night– the kind of night that wine simply couldn’t measure up to, and so her mind was already bending in that direction when Sawyer spoke up. Twisting towards her with a wry grin, Laura set the wine aside and reached for the bottle of whiskey she’d set out, “Let’s do it, then.”

She paused for a moment though, chuckling at Sawyer’s comment about the way firewater seemed to affect her, “That right?” Laura was more than willing to test that theory. “This one,” she continued, gesturing over at Cole, “seems to think pretty highly of you, so I’m willing to bet that’s probably true.” Off to the side, Cole supplied a soft, crooked smile– a small, yet surefire indicator that what Laura said was true; Cole did think highly of Sawyer, especially now that he’d finally gotten to know her a bit more. 

“Actually,” Laura said with a start, turning towards the liquor cabinet, “How about some top shelf bourbon?” 

It was almost as though Cole knew the bottle she was going for– a bottle that neither Laura nor Michael had ever opened, but had just left to sit on the top shield of their liquor cabinet. “Ya sure?” Cole interjected, lifting a brow as he followed her gaze to the very bottle in question. “I’m sure,” Laura murmured, opening the cabinet and pulling the pristine bottle down from the top shelf. “For context–” she started, taking just a moment to twist the cap off, “Michael got this bottle after the club expanded to their first charter outside of Tonopah. It was a leap of faith if there ever was one,” she explained, not pausing in pouring them each a glass because this too felt like a leap of faith, “Never opened it, but if there was ever an occasion…this feels like the one.” Dividing the glasses out between them, she raised her own as if to call for a toast, “You’re family, Sawyer. Wanted to welcome you the right way.”

It was no secret, not by a long shot, that Andrea had never played the part of a mother. She was more or less a shadow drifting through the halls of the Decker home. That's how Sawyer framed it in her mind, clear as day. Yet, Shepherd? He painted a different picture entirely and saw something in Andrea that Sawyer couldn't, or maybe wouldn't, see. So when Cole asked Sawyer to have dinner with him and his aunt, it stirred a whirlwind of doubt inside her. A mother figure was unknown to Sawyer; sure there was Aunt Nellie, but she was closer to a confidante, a partner in crime rather than a guiding light. Still, for either of her brothers, Sawyer would cross rivers of fire. Thus, she agreed to the invitation hesitantly.

The woman caught her off guard, and there was a grudging respect in the way she saw her wrap Cole in an embrace. It was that unexpected hug thrown her way that threw her off, yet she didn't falter, matching it with a swift, albeit brief, return. As she crossed the threshold into her home, her eyes took a quick glance around before landing on Laura once more. "Whichever suits." She said, a dismissive flick of her hand punctuating her indifference to either option as Laura moved towards the kitchen. Turning to Cole at his words, she let a wry smile play at the edges of her mouth.

Sawyer, with that characteristic glint in her eye, couldn't help but let her smile stretch slightly wider at the sight of the two bottles. "You know," She began, her voice dripping with that unfazed confidence she was known for, "As much as I've got a taste for a fine Merlot, Tonight feels like a night for the real shit." Her gaze shifted, signaling toward the whiskey with a subtle nod. "I've heard I'm a touch more entertaining with a bit of firewater in my veins."

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( laura & sawyer 001. ) #( ft; cole monroe. )

[fearthereaperx]

WHERE: Laura's Home WITH: @sawyerdecker & Cole Monroe

Laura didn’t know that she’d ever actually said two words to Sawyer Decker– not because she had anything against the blonde, but because their paths had never really crossed before, despite how connected Laura had always known them to be. But now that the truth was out, she felt a need to bridge that gap, mostly because it was important to her nephew– the closest thing to a son that she’d ever have. It'd be harder to bridge than that gap with Shepherd, she felt quite sure. And so as the knock sounded against her front door, she found herself smiling wide before she even opened it. Quick to greet her nephew, she held him tight for a moment, but soon moved onto the more unfamiliar presence in her doorway. “Sawyer– hi, I’m Laura,” She greeted, leaning in for a brief hug because that was just who she was– fuck a handshake; no one was a stranger once they were welcomed inside the house she and Michael had built, “Good to finally meet you. C’mon in.”

Waving them both inside, she didn’t waste any time jumping to the drink menu, “I’ve got some wine– maybe a Merlot, I’m not sure, to be honest,” she chuckled, having never been much of a wino, “or we can cut the shit and go straight to whiskey?”

That was enough to elicit a soft chuckle from Cole as he strode in alongside Sawyer. Lightly elbowing her, he offered up a crooked smile, “Told ya she was cool,” he murmured just out of earshot, turning his focus back to his aunt. In that short amount of time, Laura had managed to snag that bottle of wine that she thought was Merlot– though she wasn’t quite sure– and her favorite whiskey. Weighing them both between her hands, she turned her attention to Sawyer, leaving the decision solely up to her, “Up to you, darlin’.”

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( laura & sawyer 001. ) #( ft; cole monroe. )

[fearthereaperx]

Quirking a small smile, Laura nodded, fully understanding that need to be off for the club’s homecoming weekend, although…little did Taliah know, but Laura had spoke with her nephew an hour ago, only for him to let her know that the work should be done early and that he intended to be back in Tonopah a night earlier than expected– solely because of the woman standing in front of Laura now. She’d understood that that part of the conversation was meant to be a surprise though, and so rather than let on that she knew anything, Laura just chuckled at the idea of some psycho setting the town on fire and unleashed a heavy sigh, “That would throw quite a wrench into things,” she agreed, head shaking gently. Leaning back against the couch cushions as the smell of fresh coffee began to fill the room, Laura smiled fondly and nodded, “You should ask him about the strawberry fields in Knoxville sometime,” she suggested, knowing that while it might have been a more sensitive memory for Cole, it was undoubtedly one he’d want to share with the woman he loved– especially considering how rabid they both were for strawberries.

Taking her cup of coffee, Laura raised it to her lips with a grateful smile and took a sip, curious eyes watching Taliah as she spoke. Naturally, Laura understood it, “Of course it is,” different, that was, “You’re an old lady now.” And that was so much different than solely being a friend to the club, and Laura knew she didn’t need to explain that to Taliah, or the fact that being the president’s old lady was even more different. No, Taliah understood the weight of it, Laura felt quite sure of that. “I get it,” she sighed into the rim of her coffee, “It’s hard when they’re away– plus, those fuckin’ Monroe boys will make your blood pressure skyrocket to new heights worse than anyone, I can promise you that.” And there was no amount of distraction to make it stop. “But they’re worth it,” Laura concluded, shoulders giving a playful shrug, although it felt like that went without saying. Chuckling, she shook her head and waved a hand, quickly dismissing that concern, “Oh, god– well, rest assured, if it was anything like that, I wouldn’t be showing up with pie.” Regardless, Laura understood that fear though. She had to. “No, no– everything’s fine,” she continued, flashing a warm smile, “I just…know where you are right now, and I know it’s not easy– so here I am.” 

"Just enough to earn myself Saturday and Sunday off," chuckling, she knew she didn't need to elaborate the reason why. "Assuming some psychopath doesn't go on a fire rampage, that is." Pausing just to crinkle her nose, she made a point of touching wood, as if that would somehow make sure it wouldn't happen. Resting against the counter as the coffee poured, her brown eyes warm in that specific way they always did whenever Cole was mentioned. "I didn't know that," she smiles, finding the thought of a young Cole smiling was actually really wholesome. "I mean, I know he likes pie, but I've always thought it's me who's the strawberry fiend." Laughing softly, she gives the cups a quick stir, making Laura's coffee exactly how she knows the woman prefers.

"Way too quiet." Agreeing as she places the cups down and takes a seat, feeling more than comfortable around Laura to just relax. Taliah had long since known she had a heart as good as both Michael and Cole. That much became crystal clear in the days after Cole's arrest, Laura stepped in to support her in a way only a woman meant to be a mother ever could. She hadn't forgotten, never would. "Yeah, actually. It's different now... I mean, I feel different about it. I always missed them when they would leave, but now... I just feel that absence like a pit in my stomach." Taliah admits, glancing over to her with a soft laugh and a faint blush. "I don't mean to be that girl, but I don't like it when I know he's not within a distance close enough for me to reach." She's aware that to perhaps anyone except Laura, it would make her sound clingy. "Distraction works until it doesn't, but at least when I'm distracted I'm not counting the hours." Not consciously, anyway. "Thank you. For checking in. It's a lovely surprise. Although, for a couple seconds there you nearly made my heart fall out of my ass. I thought maybe you were coming to tell me bad news. Kinda felt like my whole world was about to come down around me. The Monroe effect, I call it." Something Laura would know all too well, not only with Michael, but also her nephew.

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( ft; taliah tezel. ) #( laura & taliah 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

“Don’t work yourself too hard,” Laura pressed with a soft smile, warm eyes flickering towards the paperwork on Taliah’s desk. Really, it wasn’t all that surprising to hear that she was here even on her day off– she’d always struck Laura as the kind of woman that needed to stay busy, especially at a time like this. She was much the same way, hence why she’d strolled in here with food– when the club was away, cooking was more so a way for her to kill time and help her feel a little less unsettled, rather than an actual hobby. Brushing off her thanks with a smile and a wave of her hand, Laura shook her head, “Oh, it’s nothing– I practically live in the kitchen whenever the shop’s closed,” she explained, having always enjoyed any sort of work she could do with her hands. If it wasn’t mending jewelry, it was cooking.  Grinning at her reaction to the strawberry pie, Laura shrugged and stepped deeper into Taliah’s office, taking a seat on the couch, “Y’know, when Cole came to live with Michael and me, I swear…the first time I ever saw that boy actually smile was whenever I put a strawberry pie in front of him,” she explained, seizing the opportunity to sneak a little historical tidbit about her nephew into the moment, “Haven’t stopped making it ever since.” Making herself comfortable against the cushions, Laura perked up at the idea of coffee, “Sure, thank you.” Leaning back, she smiled warmly, “Nice to see you too.” She did genuinely mean it– Laura had always liked Taliah, and now that she held her nephew’s heart in the palm of her hand, the woman was practically family. “Good– too quiet, though. Always feels weird around here whenever the club’s away,” Laura answered, a soft sigh slipping past her lips, “Never did get used to it whenever Michael had to go. Something told me you might be feeling the same way, so,” she paused, shoulders lifting in a small shrug, “Thought I’d stop by– check in, I guess.”

Shuffling through some paperwork, she couldn't help but feel like the day was dragging. Was it actually slower and quieter than normal? Or was it just because she knew Cole and the club weren't within reach? Not to be that girl, but she didn't really like knowing that she couldn't just ride down the road and catch a quick squeeze, which only made her want one more. One of her team joked earlier about being love-sick, but maybe that was exactly it. It was certainly why she'd chosen to come in on her day off and do the week's filing just so she didn't have to work the weekend she knew everyone would be home.

"Laura," pulling her out of her thoughts with mild surprise and an instant flicker of dread... Why was she here? "No? I'm... Well, a little, but technically this is my day off so..." Glancing to the paperwork, a smile finally broke through, soothed by the woman's warm smile and offer of food. "I haven't had the chance. Honestly, I was going to microwave some noodles." Taliah chuckled, walking towards her to properly greet her. "That's so kind of you, thank you." And much appreciated, of course. "Strawberry pie?" Brown eyes light up, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. "You Monroe's, you always know just what to say." Laughing, she gestured for her to come in and take a seat on the sofa she'd had installed. "Coffee?" She offers, making short work of setting some cutlery and napkins on the coffee table. "It's nice to see you," even if she did find it a little unusual for her to come here. "How's things?"

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( ft; taliah tezel. ) #( laura & taliah 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

WHERE: Tonopah Valley Firehouse WITH: @taliah-tezel

With the MC being well outside of Tonopah on a gun run over the next couple of days, the town felt empty– at least, to her, it did, and Laura Monroe ventured to guess that she wasn’t the only woman feeling the club’s absence. Main Street had certainly lost its charm without the roar of a pack of Harleys gunning down the straightaway, shaking the various storefronts’ windows with that glorious thunder they were known for. Without it, Tonopah Valley almost felt like an entirely different town, a thought that filled the woman with the sort of dread and unease that would hollow out the base of her stomach and make a home there until the moment the club returned. Naturally, her first concern was their safety out there on the open road, vulnerable to both the elements and to their enemies, but she worried about Tonopah and how the club’s absence, despite what local officials might want people to believe about the bikers, left them exposed too. Pushing the thought aside as her truck idled to a stop, she cut the engine, dark eyes peering at the red brick building in front of her. Laura had lived her entire life in Tonopah Valley and she could confidently say that she’d never stepped foot in the firehouse before today, but the woman her nephew loved led the charge here, and so naturally, she wanted to check in while he was away. Stacking the plates of food she’d brought with her underneath her arm, Laura climbed down from her truck and started inside the firehouse, making her way towards Taliah’s office with the help of one of the other firefighters milling about. “Hey,” she started, raising her free hand to lightly knock against the doorframe, “You busy?” of course she was, Laura mused to herself, she was the fucking fire Chief. But hopefully, not so busy that she couldn’t pause long enough to eat. “Wasn’t sure if you’d eaten lunch yet, so I just wanted to swing by, bring you a plate,” Laura continued, gesturing at the food tucked under her arm as a warm smile tugged at her features, “It’s nothing fancy, just some lasagna and strawberry pie.”

#( muse; laura monroe. ) #( ft; taliah tezel. ) #( laura & taliah 001. )

[fearthereaperx]

<|[JACKIE COGAN]|>

           KILLER

       (re)imagined

#( visuals. )

[fearthereaperx]

BRAD PITT as J.D. Thelma & Louise, 1991

#( visuals. ) #young michael

[fearthereaperx]

WHERE: Stargaze Station WHEN: October 2000

Michael Monroe didn’t have the slightest comprehension of what he was doing, though judging by the stern set of his jaw and his steady, forward facing eyes, no one would have ever known. It was only apparent in the little tells– the way he occasionally reached up to scratch at the stubble lining his jaw, or how his hands tensed with a reflexive need for a cigarette. To anyone else, Michael would have appeared as calm and composed as he always was, but inside? He was reeling.

He didn’t know how to be a father. How could he when he’d never had an example to follow? Without that blueprint in mind, Michael had no idea how to confront his new reality– the one in which his sister had overdosed on heroin and god only knew what else, and he’d been called upon to pick up the pieces. He hardly knew where to begin, but as he glanced over at his fifteen year old now motherless nephew and noted the way the glow of moonlight betrayed the smallest glimpses of the grief that consumed the boy, Michael knew that he had to try.

He just didn’t know where to start.

Admittedly, Michael didn’t know much about Cole, and he knew that was largely by his own doing. When Diana had told him she was pregnant all those years ago and who the father was, Michael had done what any brother would have. He’d gotten her the fuck out of Tonopah Valley. And then he’d done the thing he doubted he’d ever fully forgive himself for– he’d stepped back. He’d stepped back and let Diana fend for herself hundreds of miles away when she hadn’t been in a position to do it.

Hindsight was always twenty-twenty– naturally– and as Michael looked back, he knew the decision he’d made hadn’t been the right one. He’d allowed selfishness to guide it– the Sons of Silence had been in its infancy and he, along with the other founding members, had desperately been chasing that dream into a reality. The short and long of it was that he’d pushed all of his focus at the club, rather than his own flesh and blood.

"See that?” Michael began, gesturing up at one of the constellations overlooking the valley. “That's Orion, and just below him, there’s Sirius, one of the brightest stars we can see from down here. Something, ain't it?" He’d always liked the stars, for more reasons than he could possibly name. They were a nice reminder of how vast the universe really was, and how small he was in comparison. In a lot of ways, it helped him scale his problems, one by one. Not make light of them, no, but place them in a way that made it all seem that much easier to manage.

"Guess so,” came the mumbled reply from the teen at his side.

One thing he’d noticed about Cole? He didn’t say much. And that was fine– Michael had grown quite accustomed to leading conversations over the years and had learned to take certain cues for exactly what they were. Glancing over at his nephew, he eased out a long sigh and reached into the inside pocket of his cut, hauling out a worn pack of Marlboro Reds and a lighter. Setting a smoke between his lips, he offered another to Cole, already hearing Laura scolding him inside his head, but for half a heartbeat? He didn’t think about the consequences– particularly how much Laura would have his ass for offering their nephew a smoke– but perhaps that was because it didn’t take a genius to realize that Cole had already smoked his fair share.

"Y'know why I like coming out here?" Michael continued, picking up where Cole’s silence had left off. “When I’m at my worst, I like to look up there,” he paused then, gesturing up at the deep indigo night sky and the bright stars that dappled it. “For every star I see, I try to think of something good. It’s almost like I sorta assign ‘em, in a way,” he explained, shrugging a shoulder. When he said it out loud, Michael figured it probably sounded silly, and maybe it was to a degree, but it helped steady him when little else seemed to work. “When I need reminding of everything that’s good in the middle of everything bad, and I need something to ground me? I just look up, and I can name ‘em one by one.” Perhaps it was just a more elaborate way of saying count your blessings, especially in a life that afforded so few of them. 

"But more than that, you see how vast all of that is? Reminds me of how small I am,” he started again, hoping that the message was coming across the way that Cole needed to hear it. "Not insignificant, no. But it’s got a way of putting things into perspective– makes you realize just how much of this world is out of your control.” If he wanted Cole to take anything away from his monologue, it was that, because he knew what his nephew was thinking, what he was feeling, without him uttering a single word. There was a name for that weight he saw in Cole’s eyes. It wasn’t just sadness, or grief. It was guilt– something Michael knew so well and could spot from miles away. In this situation, it wasn’t justified– Cole hadn’t done anything wrong, he hadn’t let his mother down in some way– but still, Michael could understand why the boy felt it anyway. It was the way he was wired. Like Michael, Cole felt everything so deeply– whatever emotion it was, he tapped into the deepest parts of it and felt it on a visceral level…and because of that, Cole would always be in pain, just as Michael was.

Peeling his eyes away from the night sky, he eyed Cole, a soft frown sinking between his brows, "What happened with your mom wasn’t your fault, Cole. You know that, right?"

Beside him, the boy unleashed a smoke stained sigh and shrugged, "Ain't so sure," he muttered, head shaking before he swallowed hard and dropped his gaze.

“I am,” Michael countered, glancing down at him with a raised brow, “If that means something to you.” He liked to think that it did if only because he hoped it might bring Cole some measure of comfort. Maybe it might relieve him of some of the weight he carried on his shoulders. "Your mother was a complicated woman," he continued, sighing heavily, "Complicated kinda runs in our blood, in case you hadn't figured that out already." He’d never known a Monroe to live simply, or breathe easily. It just wasn’t in their DNA, he was convinced of it. They were all complicated people, stubborn, and hard to love, and yet somehow, they carried on. Softening then, Michael found himself smiling in spite of the somber turn the conversation had taken, "But one thing that wasn't complicated was the love she had for you. It was the single most straightforward thing about her." 

Admittedly, Michael and Diana had grown apart over the years, and it was something he wasn’t proud of. It haunted him, really– if he was being completely honest about it. But on those rare occasions when they did talk and catch up, all Diana ever talked about was her son. It wasn’t about the big things though– no, Diana told him about the finer things, those that required a keen eye to pick up on. She told him all about Cole’s expressions and what certain ones meant, and about how she’d always known when something was bothering him when the way the warmth of his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. Diana saw all the things Cole probably thought she didn’t– because she loved him. 

"Your mom had a passion for life unlike anything I've ever seen,” Michael murmured, raising his cigarette to his lips and inhaling a long drag.

“So why’d she run from it?” Cole fired back without missing a beat. 

It was a fair shot, Michael figured. Diana’s death looked an awful lot like a suicide, but he had a hard time believing that his sister had set out to end her life. He wanted to believe it was a miscalculation, an honest mistake on her part. Or maybe that was just what Michael kept telling himself to hold his own guilt back. After being so absent from Diana’s life for so long, how would he even recognize the difference? “I don’t think she meant to, Cole,” he offered, though he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more– Cole, or himself.

“How ya figure?”

It was a loaded question, but not an unexpected one. The bitterness sneaking in between each word wasn’t unexpected either. Michael shook his head, knowing neither one of them would ever know for sure, but he liked to think Diana hadn’t done it on purpose. That reality was one he couldn’t bear to stomach. “Because she would’ve never left you intentionally, no matter how awful things got,” he offered, shrugging a shoulder. Michael had to believe that the love Diana had for her son outweighed her demons, but even as he sat there, trying to convince Cole of that, he knew just how troubled his sister had been– how deeply she hurt. 

“It’s easy to feel angry. In your shoes? Hell, I’d probably feel the same way. Feels easier than facing the hurt, sure,” Michael started up again, switching gears the slightest bit. He couldn’t take back what happened to Diana, nor could he explain it. But what he could do was try and get through to his nephew– a boy who knew more hurt than he should ever have to and who’d been forced to grow up long before he was ever supposed to. “But hurt ain’t a bad thing– not if you grow from it. And you’ve got a real shot at doin’ that now.”

Still, even as he said it, Michael knew that was easier said than done. Diana had been all Cole had ever known for his entire life and within an instant, she was gone and his world had flipped on its axis. He’d been sent to live across the country with an aunt and uncle he didn’t know. He could only imagine how overwhelming it was, how angering and frightening. Whatever Cole felt, Michael figured he had full rights to it. “I know your world’s been flipped upside down, son,” he murmured, reaching over to tuck an arm around the teen’s shoulders, “You’ve got every right to be twisted up, spun out– whatever the case may be.” But he didn’t want those feelings to bulldoze the warmer memories of his mother. Cole deserved a softer landing than that– he deserved to think about his mother and not hate every second of it, or hurt. It wouldn’t happen overnight, Michael knew that, but he hoped that one day, Cole could remember the good before the bad– the beginning before the end.  “I ain’t ever gonna tell you how to feel, but I will say this,” Michael started, tossing his dying cigarette down into the dirt. “I dunno if it’ll ever make sense, if it’ll ever not hurt…but I’m here every step of the way, alright? We don’t know each other all that well, but I’ve got you, Cole– I’ve got ya.” Shaking his head, he glanced down at his nephew, and when he did, the sight before him damn near broke his heart. That sad, lost look in Cole’s eyes had only grown, finally reaching that point where it was bound to spill over. He could see Cole holding it back, fighting to keep his tears at bay, but as one managed to slip and slide down his face, Michael only held the boy tighter and swallowed hard when Cole clung back to him, nestling himself against his side. “Your mother was more than the worst thing she ever did– some of us are.” Michael had to believe that– it was the only way he could reconcile with what he was and the awful things he did. "And before you let her go, I hope you look for her– for who she really was," he murmured, reaching up to wipe that stray tear away. "Think you'll see a lot of yourself whenever you do." Michael smiled then because even in the midst of his grief, he’d been able to spot the similarities between his sister and his nephew. In a lot of ways, Diana was still very much alive through him. "And that ain't a bad thing."

#( self para 001. ) #( ft; cole monroe. )

[fearthereaperx]

Killing them Soflty (2012)

#( visuals. )