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Hey! I'm Madi. I love music and GVF. I also love Smut. You know what I love love? Greta Van fleet smut.
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“i love you too….yeah you!” @joshsindigostreak
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Anything For You - chapter 19
Word count: 5k
Warnings: fuckin hell ummmm swearing, essentially alcoholism, mention of cocaine consumption, I almost made myself cry? Trigger warning you might hate me but we all need to work through it together
Note: has not been proofread because I am a mood reader and a mood writer and I cannot be asked right now
Masterlist
Jake essentially collapses into the hotel room, his shoulder banging against the wall before he rights himself, muttering something before grabbing your shoulders and planting a wet kiss on your cheek. You recoil, confused and suddenly incredibly uncomfortable.
Stepping back, you meet his watery gaze. His eyes are soft and red, skittering around your face before eyeing the bed.
”Fuck yeah,” He mumbles and kicks his bag further into the room with very unstable force. You shut the door behind him and turn to watch him collapse onto the bed. He stares up at the ceiling, his arms in a T shape and one hand still gripping the whisky neck, his boots unzipped and belt undone. The feeling in your gut can only be described as cold.
”Jake?” You ask, your voice low.
He stirs ever so slightly and you see the whisky start to leak out of the top so you run over and grab it from him, too stunned to say anything when his grip protests before he grunts and lets go. You stand there, holding the bottle but not quite holding his gaze. Beautiful boy. What had he done?
You set the bottle on the vanity that he fucked you against just last night and take a moment to watch his reflection in the mirror. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t happening.
”Can’ do it. Sorry.” He mumbles, throwing a loose thumbs-up into the air.
You turn around, a preternatural calm washing over you that goes against the roiling in your gut. “Can’t do what?”
Jake shrugs, tugging at his undone belt as he struggles to kick his boots off. “This. Dunno.” He then grunts and gives up on the belt. There’s very little force in anything he does, his red cheeks and sweaty forehead gleaming in the singular lamp light. “Can you help?” He asks, head lolling in your direction.
You go to him, trying to fight nausea when you smell the booze wafting off of his entire body. His shirt could be stuck to him from sweat or alcohol, but it’s probably both. Sitting on your knees on the mattress beside him, you quietly instruct him to lift his hips so you can take his belt off. He listens, his hand gently wrapping around your forearm, the absentminded movement startling you.
”Are you going to be mean to me?” You ask, tossing his belt to the floor and getting down to remove his shoes. You toss those into the growing pile, looking at his face just in time to grab the ice bucket and stick it under his chin before he vomits, mercifully not getting any on the bed.
You sit beside him again, guiding him to sit up so he doesn’t choke. His movements are simultaneously fluid and jerky, random spurts of muscle usage between whatever flopping his arms are doing.
Jake groans, head rolling back. “Don’t wanna be. M’sorry, Y/N.”
”Don’t want to be what?” You ask, angrily wishing he was not … this, right now. You set the bucket on the nightstand and guide his wet shirt over his body before he lays down again.
”Be mean to you.” He says, his voice rough with acid. His hand finds your hip when you lean over him to move pillows but you push it off, putting distance between you as you sit on the corner furthest away from him.
What commences is a staring contest of sorts, but his eyes are bleary and unfocused while yours are welling with tears. You sit on your knees, hands folded in your lap.
He has never been this drunk in years, and certainly not since … since you? Embarrassment prickles down your arms, the idea that you were worth changing for.
But what did it mean then? What did he mean when he said he loved you? What did last night mean at all?
”But you are.” You reply, forcing yourself to meet his gaze again. “And I don’t know why.”
Before he can reply, nausea sweeps through you full-force and you bolt for the bathroom just in time to throw up in the sink. That’s when your tears flow. When you finally get the image of how sick you are right now and how the man who said he loves you is near black-out drunk and helpless. You ponder calling Josh while you brush your teeth again before deciding against it - overwhelmed with shame. You’re an idiot for thinking this meant anything. That you meant anything to Jake. Stupid girl.
Without meeting your own gaze in the mirror, you go change out of Jake’s shirt and into your own pajamas, wanting the scent of him off of your skin before your bones crumpled under the weight of your heartache.
Jake’s eyes are closed when you see him again, hair plastered to his cheek. There is no reconciling the fact that you want him here and the reality that he doesn’t want to be, apparently.
“Wake up.” You say just loud enough for him to hear before you physically try to maneuver him upright again. “You’re going to choke on vomit.”
Jake groans but listens, allowing himself to be propped up enough to not die. But his eyes flutter shut while you remove his socks and then get his dirty jeans over his deadweight legs, leaving him in just his boxers. You get up once again and clean out the ice bucket, pondering again if you should call Josh to come pick Jake up. Maybe you could pawn him off on his brother, go back to Josh’s house, and pretend this never happened.
He never promised he’d stop drinking. You were an idiot for thinking he would. And now he didn’t even want “this.”
You begin what is essentially aspiration-watch as you sit back on the bed, hoping he doesn’t die. Hoping maybe you will.
”Can’t do this.” Jake mumbles, his hand reaching out absently in your direction. Without thinking much of it, you move your leg out from your body just enough for him to drape his clammy hand on your ankle.
“What can’t you do, Jake?” Your voice is so hollow. It all feels like whiplash. He loves you. He can’t do this.
”Can’t. Can’t- … I don’t know.” He groans, slapping his other hand over his eyes.
You don’t reply, sitting there numbly and chewing on your lip.
He inhales shakily and tries again. “Why I’m mean to you. N’ I loooove you.”
A one-two punch to your chest. You don’t say anything.
”Baby.” Jake whispers before hiccuping.
Silence. Your hand finds your little bump. He can’t do this. Damn fucking right he can’t. Josh could have him back.
”I’m going to call your brother.” You state, reaching over to your nightstand to grab your phone. It’s dead. Great. “Give me your phone.”
”Pocket.” He points lazily to where you threw his pants and you grab it, leaning over the bed enough so his hand doesn’t leave your leg.
”What’s your password?” You ask, voice numb.
”Still my birthday.”
You huff in reply and stab it in, going to his text thread with Josh.
Josh: Where the fuck are you, dude?
Josh: I’m fucking serious, you have her worried sick
Josh: You’re going to fuck this all up
Tears well in your eyes again and you quickly rub them away.
Jake: This is Y/N. My phone died. Jake is here, please come get him.
Your thumb hovers over the send button as you hesitate. You put the phone down beside you and breathe slowly for a second.
”Explain.” You demand.
Jake looks at you with confusion.
”Why are you drunk?”
His eyebrows narrow. “Is baby okay?”
You nod. “Yeah. Why are you drunk?”
He mimics your nod slowly, then more sure like he’s relieved. Not that he cared enough to come back after the show.
”Got scared.” He mutters, his words still slurred but marginally better than thirty minutes ago.
“Why?”
”I’m a shitshow.” He replies quietly. “You’ll hate me eventually.”
Eighteen hours ago, you would have adamantly denied that possibility. But he sure was toeing the line right now. And normally you wouldn’t put up with self-pity from a useless man … and right now you still shouldn’t, yes … but he was the useless man that you loved.
Loved. Still?
There were no promises made.
You grab the bucket once again just in time for him to throw up. The smells. You gagged the entire way to the bathroom to clean it out again, trying your best to force down your own puke.
When you go back to the room, Jake is lazily sitting up with the whisky bottle in hand. You take a moment to watch what he does, but he just stares at it. So do you.
”Whether I hate you or not is beside the point.” You state, crossing your arms and leaning against the wall. Jake’s jittery eyes find you and you continue. “What can’t you do, Jake?”
He holds your gaze for a moment, then jerks his head away, lips in a tight line. “Why’d you change? You’re pretty ‘n my shirt.”
You ignore him, thumping the bucket down beside him as he lays back down. You grab the handle from him again and take it to the bathroom, setting it upside-down in the sink so it drains. You watch the amber liquid spin and wonder if you are a hypocrite. Wonder if your anger is worth jack shit.
The trips back and forth between the bathroom are not making your nausea any better, but you put up with it one more time to fill Jake’s water bottle in the sink and bring it out to him before you climb back onto the bed he kept affirming his love to you in.
More staring.
Reminiscent of way back when.
”You look so pretty,” Jake whispers, his hand finding the foot you didn’t realize you had set beside him again.
You fold your arms, unspeaking.
You can see the gears move in his brain before he dips his chin and puts on a deep voice. “Have mercy!”
Like Jesse from Full House.
Before you can process that, he moves right along.
”Why do you have mercy on me? A lot a lot.” His eyebrows knit together tenderly, almost sheepishly.
”What do you mean?” You ask, voice flat.
”You always let me back in. And I fuck it up. I’m fucking it up r’now!” He throws his hand up before it smacks down onto the pillows beside his head.
You look down at your hands in your lap again, your thumb itching to scrape against your wrist. Your voice is cracked and quiet. “Because I love you, I guess.”
“Nuh-uh!” Jake protests, fingers curling around your ankle. “Can’t.”
You just look at him, confused.
“Can’t. You can’t. I can’t.”
”Can’t what, Jake?” You demand, nostrils flaring. Fuck him. Fuck him.
He shakes his head in some drunken thrashing movement before he squeezes your ankle. “You can’t love me. I can’t love you. I’ll destroy you, dove.” He shrugs. “Simple as that!”
Staring. You stand up and grab your own water bottle, sitting back down with your body as far from his as possible, but he reaches his hand out again and whispers “please” in a way that reminds you of why you keep going back. You stick your foot out.
”Why can’t you just … not?” You ask the drunk man who wraps his clammy hand back around your ankle. The question is stupid but you have to ask.
He shakes his head. “Dug a hole.”
Just then, you see a touch of white under the tip of his nose. You deflate a little more.
”You have coke on your face.” You state, voice shallow as you tap on your own face where it is.
He rubs the back of his hand under his nose back and forth like a child, sniffing loudly. When he pulls his hand back, he looks to you for confirmation that he got it all. You nod once.
”You did dig a hole, didn’t you?” Now, your quiet voice sounds almost pitying. He bites his lip, looking as close to remorseful as he can while obviously out of it.
It was weird, looking at the man you loved in the present tense, acknowledging that he fucked up so many times in a row.
”Are you cold?” You ask, climbing off the massive bed and grabbing clothes from his suitcase before he can answer. You pull a worn-out t-shirt and sweatpants from his luggage and stand beside him, gesturing for him to sit up. He does so slowly, grunting with a face that obviously implies vertigo. You just wait, then tug the shirt over his head before pulling his hair back and braiding it while he looks up into your eyes with the most beautiful, watery doe eyes. You try not to meet his gaze. His hair tied with the tie from his wrist, you kneel to help him slide the sweatpants on, one hand cradling your bump.
He lays back down and sort of tugs them the rest of the way up while you shove another pillow under his head and hand him his water bottle.
”I’m not going to spend my life saving you from the consequences of your actions.” You state when you sit back down. You don’t even notice how your foot slides back out and his hand finds it, thumb rubbing jerky circles over the bone of your ankle.
Jake just stares at you. He looks at the ceiling. “I don’t want you to.”
”So you recognize-“ The words about to come out of your mouth make a stab of pain zip through your chest. You inhale deeply. “So you recognize this won’t work, right? Because I needed you. You knew I did. And you weren’t there. You weren’t here, Jake. And that wasn’t an accident.”
His voice is hoarse. ”I know.”
Silent for a moment, you grab his phone again. Delete the text you almost sent to Josh. Type a different one.
Jake: This is Y/N. Jake came back. All good.
You hit send. Josh calls almost immediately.
”Yeah?” You answer.
”Is everything okay?” Josh asks, out of breath.
You nod. “Yeah. I’ll let you know if I need you, okay?”
Josh pauses, you hear his heavy breathing like he was running around. “And everything is okay?”
Not really, no.
You nod again, catching Jake’s eye. The look on his face is not one you can place. Screwed up and sad and loopy and cross-eyed. “Eventually. I’m safe, we’re fine.”
Another pause. “Okay, dove. Call me if that changes, okay?”
You hum noncommittally and say goodbye, hanging up and setting Jake’s phone down.
Jake starts talking almost immediately. “I can’t do this. To you.”
”Agreed.”
”No.” He sounds exasperated, running both hands down his face. Despite having clothes on now, he’s shivering.
He keeps talking, stutters and false starts in between his cross-faded sentences while you get up and grab his sweatshirt.
“I love you,” He pleads while you help him put it on. You tug it over his head and he shoves his arms through the sleeves, his gaze never leaving you. “I promise.”
You just hum again, looking down at him. Waiting.
He sits up straight before slumping again, pushing out a deep sigh. “I don’t know how to talk right now.”
You don’t reply. Ice threatens to consume your entire heart.
Nothing. None of it meant anything. He never cared about you. He never cared about his child. He only cared about himself. It was fake.
Then he laughs. Loudly. Then smacks his hands over his face again, laughing into them before curling into himself. You don’t notice how your knees slot together with his until his slumping makes his jerk an inch.
When he can look up at you, his eyes shine with tears while a quivering smile sits on his face. “I don’t know how to make this sound poetic, Y/N.”
”Then don’t.” You reply, jaw tensing. You’re a patient woman, he can do this all day. Just not as your boyfriend.
His lips purse. His tongue darts out to wet them before he speaks. “I’ve loved you for a lot longer than you’ve loved me.”
You still your absentminded swaying, straightening your spine. You don’t say anything. There’s very little English occurring in your brain, just sadness and confusion.
Jake continues. “Do you remember the first time you went to the bar with all of us together?”
You nod. Years ago. “Do you?”
He winces at the insinuation of his drunkenness. “I do.” He inhales sharply. “Since then. Since you sat with me and talked while everyone else just fucked around. Why did you do that?”
”Why did I sit and talk with my best friends obviously depressed brother?” You ask rhetorically. “Beats me.”
His chin ducks for a second before he meets your eyes again. “Since then. I have loved you since then.”
Some thoughts finally seep into your head like a leaky faucet. Little thought by little thought. Since then. Since you saw a man obviously out of his element, unsettled and uncomfortable, sitting alone. Since you sat down with him and just started talking. Since that particularly good day when your sadness didn’t cloud your empathy and you had enough energy to not fix him, but make him laugh a few times. Share stories about Josh. Assure he got into his Uber safely. Since then?
”What about that night?” You ask quietly, uncrossing your arms. This is not forgiveness.
He shrugs jerkily. “You. Just you, Y/N. Your laugh. Your heart for my brother. The way you took my shit without a second's hesitation. You just … lit me up inside at that sticky fucking booth.”
Silence. And?
”And I got in that Uber and realized I had no chance.” He completes the thought. When his hands find the back of your thighs, you let them linger. You feel the heat of his clammy palms on your skin. “I realized that I couldn’t do that to you. Make myself your problem.”
Your lips pinch together, hands wrapping around his wrists. Anchor. He’s still an anchor.
When his eyebrows raise and his face pales, you’re quick to grab the bucket at the same time he does and you both fumble it to the floor before he shakily bolts up and runs to the bathroom on unsteady feet. You hear him puke in the toilet (hopefully) and sigh, shoulders sagging. You can hear his heavy breathing for a minute or so before he flushes, brushes his teeth, and comes back out. He finds the bed and groans, eyes pinching shut.
”I’m sorry.” He whispers as you wipe the cold sweat from his forehead. You could help him wash it later.
You nod. “I’m sure you are.”
His smile is wry.
Silence.
”You sure did make yourself a problem for someone not wanting to be a problem.” You continue the conversation.
He inhales quickly like he’s been reminded, pulled out of a haze. “Yeah.” He sighs. “Yeah, I know. A little, I guess.”
”Just a little?”
”I accomplished my goal for a while, didn’t I?” He asks. “You fucking hated me.”
Your tongue glides over your upper teeth, not having anything to say. Yes. Yes, you did. Do? Did.
He’s sitting on the edge of the bed again and you find yourself stepping close enough to stand between his legs, but your arms are crossed again.
Without your answer, he continues. “That was made possible by near constant drinking.”
”Hm.” You reply. No duh.
The side of his mouth ticks up, somehow amused for a split second there. “I couldn’t have you. I couldn’t want you, Y/N … and I fixed both of those things. I thought.”
”You thought?”
”Eventually I got so used to all the liquor that I couldn’t … fend you off anymore. Not inside my head, anyways. I couldn’t get away from you. God knows I tried.” His chuckle is dry.
His eyes are red. You could give him eye drops later.
“You were always there. Always with Josh. Always lighting up a room and making my brothers laugh and taking care of all four of us when we did not deserve it … especially me.” He pauses, eyes down on his folded hands. They quickly unravel and find your hips, but it’s anchoring. Not possessive. His eyes unfocus, looking down at his lap, fingers tensing on your soft body. “And then you were in my dreams. Your pretty face and your laugh and your cadence … the way your eyebrows pinch when you’re explaining something. The color of your eyes was everywhere. It’s like I’ve been primed to hear your name. Your laugh. The smell of your perfume.”
Your hands drop. They find his wrists again. You feel them work under your fingers, the tendons shifting. You don’t say anything when his eyes meet yours again.
”I had hallucinations of you.”
That sentence hangs in the air.
“You were everywhere.” He whispers. “I couldn’t escape you.”
”Did you want to?” You croak.
”No.” Jake’s laugh is stuttered and wet, like he’s about to cry.
You don’t reply to the unsure smile on his face. “You’re pretty poetic right now.”
He laughs breathily again. More silence. His thumbs rub over your hips, under the curve of your belly.
”And then you were there. Because you’re always there.” He whispers. “Standing in Sam’s living room. And I was wrong. The whole thing was wrong.”
Agreed.
“But.” He emphasizes, chin dipping forward ever so slightly. “But for a moment, I had you. Despite bad decision after bad decision, I had you in my arms for a drunken fucking second and- …Holy shit, Y/N,” Another dry laugh. “I can’t … maybe someday I’ll be able to articulate what was happening in my mind that night but- … but I still haven’t- … wrapped my mind around it. And from that moment on you were still there. I thought you were everywhere before but then suddenly you weren’t just everywhere, you were everything. And I didn’t know how to- … I still don’t know how to handle that. I’m sorry.”
Quickly, way too quickly, you rub a tear away from your eye before it falls. This wasn’t forgiveness.
“I can tell you don’t.” You mutter. “Given you told me you loved me last night,” your voice cracks and turns into a hoarse whisper. “And then got wasted when I needed you tonight.”
His eyes pinch shut, forehead tipping forward. “I know.”
”You made me miserable, Jake.” You remind him. “For so long.”
You don’t wipe the tear that falls from your eye and Jake doesn’t wipe his when he looks back up at you again.
“I know.” He breathes.
”And I worked through that, okay? I did. It took a while but you- … I thought you were working on it and I thought you were better and I- … I was wrong … wasn’t I?”
He shakes his head slowly, then more sure. “I-I was. I … am. And then I … I did, I told you I loved you and holy shit I meant it, Y/N, and because I meant it I … fucked up. I can’t … do that to you. I never should’ve- …”
You wait for the completion of that sentence. Slept with you?
Jake’s eyes fall on your belly, lower lip quivering. His eyes meet yours for a second before you nod slightly and he leans forward, pressing his lips to your bump. “I’m sorry.” He whispers.
You cup his chin in your hand and tilt it up so he faces you.
“In my wildest dreams, literally and figuratively, I did this in the right order. I loved you and I made you my bride and I made you a mama … and I wasn’t a drunk fuck-up.” His voice cracks at the end there and you can’t help the sob you choke out. It’s not a happy sob that has your hand clasped over your mouth and he knows it, chin dipping with a sigh as tears continue to glide down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.” He whispers again. “I’m so sorry.”
The next cry from you comes from your chest, your knees feeling weak beneath you as you slide to them, your forehead falling to his lap. Jake curls around you, his face buried in your tangled hair as you weep, as quietly as you can muster with such a shattered heart.
He loved you. This whole time. And he fucked it up.
_____
You stand at the back entrance of the hotel, arms folded over your chest and sunglasses covering your puffy eyes. The buses are almost completely loaded up. You’ve said goodbye to Sam and Danny. Josh has to run back inside to grab his wallet.
The sun shines like nothing is wrong. Like the ground hasn’t flown out from under your feet. Like any of this is okay.
Jake sort of jumps out of the bus and onto the pavement, sunglasses on and hands in pockets. His all-black outfit of slacks and a button-down matches your shorts and t-shirt, this weird funeral between you two going unspoken as he helps pack other bags into a van. One of the bands assistants tries to make conversation and Jake chuckles but it’s hollow. Apt, because that’s how you feel.
Sam climbs into one bus after Danny, both of them groggy but yelling at each other jokingly. Josh comes back outside with his wallet in hand and turns to pull you into a hug.
“Will you tell me what happened?” He asks quietly into your hair.
You nod. “Yeah. I’ll call you later.”
”Good.” He hugs you tighter. “And you’ll keep calling?”
You hesitate. “You may have to do some of the lifting there.”
”Okay.” He whispers, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “I would love to. I love you, dove. Come to any show you want, okay? You always have a seat.”
”Got it.”
He pulls back but keeps his hands on your elbows. “And please let me know how your appointments go? Uncle Josh needs baby dove info, yeah?” He smiles like he’s trying to get you to mirror it. It works, somewhat.
You nod. “Of course, Uncle Josh. I love you.”
”I love you too.”
Another kiss to your other cheek and then he’s off. You already have a key to his house. He got you more than enough groceries to last a while. He stocked your prenatal vitamins and ginger chews and everything else. Without a word, he made sure everything was okay. All you saw was the doorbell camera proof of deliveries.
Finally, Jake comes over to you, as sullen as you feel. The difference is that he’s hungover. And you’re pregnant with his child. Painfully sober.
He stops in front of you, his shoes scuffing on the ground, and lifts his sunglasses over the hair you silently helped him clean early this morning.
”I don’t know what to say.” You whisper.
You don’t lift your own sunglasses. You can’t be that vulnerable this early in the morning.
He bites the inner edge of his lip and nods. “I know.”
”I love you, Jake.” Your voice is even quieter, your lip starting to tremble. “But you can’t treat me like this.”
He nods. “I know.”
”You need to figure this shit out.” You continue as another assistant whips by you. “I won’t live like this.”
His mouth twists to the side as he looks away. He nods slowly, blinking tears away rapidly.
“I’ll miss you.” Your voice cracks, that now-familiar gong of pain resounding in your chest. “I’ll miss you so much.”
With a sigh, he lowers his gaze to the ground and covers a hiccup of tears with the clearing of his throat.
You wait for him to speak, one hand above and below your belly. It would be so easy to give in and let him act however he wanted. But not when there was another person involved. Not anymore.
Jake inhales deeply before pulling you into a hug, his arms wrapping around your waist. Your arms go over his shoulders and you bury your face in his neck, his nose in your hair.
”I love you, Y/N.” He breathes. “I’ll miss you both.”
”Come back right, okay?” You petition. “Come back better.”
”I promise.”
You can’t help the tears that flow onto his shirt, but you’re sure there’s some falling into your hair now too. You hug him tight and he mimics it. It lingers, his strong arms wrapped around you. You want to fade into his hold and keep him there. Let everything be okay.
But Sam calls through a bus window for Jake to hurry the fuck up and stop being gross, so Jake sighs and pulls away. But instead of leaving, he kneels so he’s eye-level with your belly, taking it in both hands.
”I love you so much.” He whispers, only barely audible, before pressing a kiss there and lingering. You run your hand through his hair when his forehead rests against the Greta Van Fleet tour shirt from years ago that drapes over your small bump.
When he stands, Jake holds your cheek in one hand and kisses the other, his lips lingering there too for a long moment. You turn to kiss his palm. He drops his hand. And he leaves.
_____
Tag list:
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i constantly think ab how josh is the gold jewelry twin and jake is the silver jewelry twin
they’re never beating the sun & moon allegations
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Something about Danny's wink right after saying "no one wants to hold my hand" tells me he knows very well that he's full of shit
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So mf good WE WANT JAKEEEE!! WE BEEN TEAM JAKEEEE
Kismet (Chapter 8 - Part 1)
Pairing: Josh x Reader, Jake x Reader
Word Count: 16.7k
Warnings: Cursing, Alcohol Consumption, Fluff. Angst: Verbal Sparring, Light Degradation, Light Verbal Abuse, Arguing, Jealousy, Guilt, Heartbreak, Manipulation Themes. Smut: Kissing, Male Masturbation, Female Masturbation, Cum Play, Spitting, Fingering F!Receiving, Unprotected Penetrative Sex, Rough Sex.
A/N: Two parts for this last chapter, so be on the lookout for part two soon!
This series is a special collaboration with my best buddy @sacredstarcatcher. If you haven't checked out her previous work Cruel Summer, be sure to add it to your reading list. If you would like to be added to the taglist for this series, please follow this link!
JAKE POV
“Fair is fair, my brother.”
You take in the sight before you. Josh’s shit eating grin, your shirt on his back, Bloo sitting loyally at his feet. Y/N stands off to the side, wringing her hands.
“You look guilty as fuck right now.” You say to her, shaking your head.
“Jake, I swear I can explain.” She pleads, her eyes already glassy.
“Explain? I don’t need to hear it, Y/N. I already know, and I knew it weeks ago. You let me grovel and apologize to you for accusing you and… Christ…” You trail off, not wanting to raise your voice. “You know he’s been fucking you and Hayden at the same time, right?” You snap. The reaction you get isn’t the one you’re expecting.
“I know.” She says it in a quiet voice full of shame.
What the fuck?
“At least I told her.” Josh boasts, and you could lunge at him then and there.
“Watch yourself.” You warn, trying to shut him up. This doesn’t need to get any messier than it already is.
“No, no, we’re all adults here.” Josh says, walking up to stand at the back of the couch. “Let’s put it all out on the table. Go ahead and tell her why fair is fair, Jake.”
“That doesn’t justify… this.” You say, and you can feel your cheeks get hot. You’re going to have to come clean sooner or later. Josh knows it too, so when he turns to speak to Y/N, you steel yourself.
“Jake was having an affair with Hayden for 6 of the 9 months we were together.” Josh states simply, smirking as you both watch the realization hit her. Confusion paints her features.
“So you pursued Y/N just to get revenge?” You bite back, trying to do damage control. It’s next to useless at this point as you see her entire perception of you change.
“Hold on. Hold on. You?” She asks, pointing at you, her brow furrowed.
“It was a mistake. It was stupid, Y/N, and I regretted it the moment she left. I only called her because it was after I saw the note on the mirror…” You try to explain, but then you remember why this is all happening in the first place. You see she’s already started to cry, her tears dragging faint black lines of mascara down her cheeks.
“Don’t cry, Cherry. What happened to, ‘he’s not anything?’ Isn’t that what you said on our birthday?” Josh says, pretending to comfort her, but really just twisting the knife. You feel heat radiating off of your body. On our birthday?
“You told me you weren’t ready to talk things through, but you just wanted to leave so you could fuck my brother?” You shout, having lost any sense of control. “You lied to my face on my birthday? And about the snowstorm? And let me guess, any time you bailed on me for ‘school’ it was really so you could go behind my back and help him get his sick revenge?”
“I didn’t know it was for revenge!” She cries, like that’s any defense. “I didn’t know about any of this!”
“That doesn’t make it any better!” You shout, startling a bark out of Bloo. You feel an immediate pang of guilt, burning as Josh puts a settling hand on his head.
“I’m out of here,” you mumble, turning on your heel and heading for the door.
“You can’t just… just throw this all away!” She pleads, desperate as she sees you trying to leave. She’s full on crying now, her tears running down her face and neck as you stand in the entryway, fuming. You steel yourself, avoiding her sad eyes.
“You said I was yours, Jake, I-”
Josh interrupts her before she can finish.
“He told Hayden the same thing, and funny enough, when she dumped me to be with him, he came clean and told her it was all a lie. That’s a very interesting coincidence.” He says sarcastically.
Your heart drops as you cut your eyes to her, wincing as she seems to put the pieces together. You want to lie. You want to tell her it isn’t true. Before you can try and contradict Josh, he just keeps on talking.
“I’m not sure they ever stopped, now that I think about it…” He muses, his tone smug as he watches everything crumble. “She was at his house two weeks ago.”
You watch her, the way her brow furrows, the way her heart breaks. His stupid smile makes your blood boil.
“Don’t act all high and mighty, Josh. I know you didn’t tell her about how you fucked your way through all 20 cities.” You sneer, pointing at him aggressively. She looks between the two of you, seemingly trying to follow along.
“Every fuckin’ night we spent in a hotel, I watched you march a blonde pair of tits back to your room. Every night we’ve been home, I know you’ve been with Hayden.” You say, letting your arm fall to your side, exasperated.
“That’s not true.” Josh lets out through gritted teeth, but you can see the gears turning in her head.
“You have to know he doesn’t care about you, Y/N. He’s using you for revenge. He’s using you to keep his cock warm when Hayden won’t answer his calls.” You plead, trying to get her to believe you.
“Oh, when she won’t answer my calls? You mean when she’s with YOU?” Josh shouts, finally snapping and taking a few quick steps around the couch towards you. He’s angry now, and you feel the energy in the room shift.
You know he’s all talk and you’re not afraid of him. You pay Josh no mind and keep your eyes on Y/N. You need to get her to believe you. You can hear Josh breathing, clearly worked up now. She’s getting nervous as her eyes flicker between the two of you
“Watch it, Josh.” You say, almost dismissive of him. He raises his voice again, snapping back at you.
“YOU watch it. I’m not gonna sit here and let you—“
“You both have to go. Now.” She interrupts, her voice as stern as you’ve ever heard it, but it’s through tears.
You look at her, your eyes full of hurt. She doesn’t believe you. It quickly turns to anger as you realize that between the two of you, everything is fucked. There’s no coming back from this.
“You know what? Fine.” You say, fishing your keys out of your pocket. “Give me back my spare key. Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t fuckin’ think about me.” You say, fighting with the keyring in your hands.
As Josh storms through the house to collect his things, she steps past you to get her keys from the entryway table. She quickly unclips your key from her lanyard and clutches it in her fist, watching you struggle to remove hers from your own.
You feel her eyes on you as you stick your fingernail under the metal and twist until the key is free. When your eyes flick back up at her, there’s a look of realization across her face. She’s staring at the worn, stringy friendship bracelet tied to the leather strap that houses your keys.
AUGUST 2011
“Here. Pick like... four or five.” She says, handing you a clear plastic box with nearly 100 little spools of embroidery floss in it. She pulls her leg up onto the beach chair and goes to tie the bracelet in her hands around her ankle.
“Can’t I just have that one?” You ask, doing your best to sound uninterested. You don’t want to pick your own colors. You want the ones she picked for herself. Her favorites. Your eyes move from the bracelet on her ankle, up her leg, over the sunkissed, sandy skin. Your eyes quickly dart from her bikini top back down to your guitar, plucking the strings as you repeat the riff you’ve been working on another time through.
“This one?” She asks, scrunching her nose up as she looks at you, the sun a little too bright in her eyes. “Hmmm. Okay,” she says, slipping off the beach chair and onto her knees. She waddles over to you in the sand, holding it out as she waits for you to offer her your wrist. Deciding between the two, you choose your left, so it won’t get caught in the strings of your guitar.
You look down at her under the shade of your bucket hat, trying to keep your eyes on her face. You hold out your arm and she gingerly ties it around your wrist, knotting once, then looking up at you.
“Is that tight enough?” She asks, and you feel your mouth go dry.
“Uh huh,” you respond, your voice cracking a little. This girl is going to be the death of you.
“You have to wear it forever.” She says, grinning behind her sunglasses. “I’m gonna check next year. And the year after that. And the year after that.”
“Alright, alright.” You groan, watching her nimble fingers tie the second knot. When she’s done, she sits back on her heels in front of you, looking at your guitar.
“Play it.” She says, nodding once in your direction. You know what she wants. The day before, you had absentmindedly been playing the opening riff of a song off of the new Black Keys album when she interjected, shouting over at you with a mouth full of sandwich, telling you it was her favorite track. You were more than impressed that she knew it at all.
So here you are, sitting in and listening to the waves crashing on the shore, looking down at her as she kneels in front of you. She puts her hands on her thighs and grins, so you’re really given no choice but to oblige.
You begin to play it, albeit softly, not wanting to bother the other people along the beach, opting to hum rather than sing. She has her eyes on your hands- moving between both of them. She’s watching you carefully and you can feel your heart in your throat.
You stop playing, about to tell her what you’re thinking, but you’re interrupted before you can get a word out. Josh comes running up to the both of you, sand spraying from under his feet and landing on your bodies, but more importantly your guitar. You hear the flecks of sand lane on the body of it and you can’t help but wince.
“C’mon. Come swim with me.” Josh says to her, not acknowledging you. Like clockwork, she stands up and heeds his call.
You try to keep your eyes to yourself, avoiding laying eyes on any part of her in that microscopic bathing suit. You look at your twin instead as he holds out his hand for her, spotting a bracelet tied around his wrist. Diagonal lines of yellow, green, and purple.
“You made him one too?” You ask her, squinting. She looks at you, then at Josh.
“This? Oh, yeah. She made mine first.” He shoots you a charming smile, answering before she has a chance to. She takes his hand and he whisks her off towards the water, the two of them bumping arms as they go.
You stew about it for a moment before getting back to what you were doing. You give up on playing what she asked and go back to practicing the riff you were working on earlier.
You make your best effort to keep your eyes on the sand, on the water, on the pattern of the towel in front of you… but they’re consistently drawn to the two of them out in the water- laughing and splashing, Josh picking her up and tossing her into the water. You finally give up and walk back to the house, your acoustic on your back, adjusting the hat on your head so nobody sees the pink tinge to your cheeks.
The next morning, you roll out of bed and shower, knowing your mom told the both of you that the car was to be out of the driveway by 11:01 and no later. Josh, who took the bottom bunk, was awake long before you. As you get ready alone, you take a deep breath, appreciating how peaceful it is when he’s not in your space, involved in everything you’re doing.
Heading down the stairs, you realize it’s quiet inside too. You see there’s half a grapefruit in the fridge, and you know Josh left it for you, so you grab a spoon and sprinkle some sugar on it. Over on the counter near the sugar jar, you see there’s a note written in your mom’s handwriting.
“Out to breakfast. Be ready to leave by 11.”
The 11 is underlined three times. She means business. Checking the clock, you see it’s 10:30.
You look at the door at the end of the hall where Y/N had been sleeping and it’s wide open, the bed made.
If both moms are at breakfast, then… Where are Y/N and Josh?
You head to the back door in a hurry, pushing the vertical blinds to the side. Out on the dock, you see the two of them sitting side by side, their feet dangling off the edge. You roll your eyes, seeing the two of them excluding you once again. Your blood boils as you watch him flirt with her, tugging her away at any opportunity, even though he shouldn’t.
Little does Y/N know, he has a girlfriend back home who thinks he’s on an innocent family vacation. You’re sure if she knew he was taken, she would have spent a little more time with you over the last few days. But it’s not worth the fight with Josh, so you’ve chosen to stay silent.
You finish your breakfast, not wanting to watch them ogle each other on the waterfront. By the time you pack your bags, you hear the tires in the gravel driveway signaling your moms have returned. You bring your suitcase down and look out the window once more, but you don’t see them.
You step out the side door of the house, bringing your suitcase to the car.
“Where’s your brother?” Your mom barks from behind her sunglasses, sipping ice water in a to-go cup. “Didn’t I say 11?”
“Yeah, ma. He’s… he’s out back somewhere.” You say, leaving the trunk open because you know he’s got to load his suitcase in too.
“Go get him.” She says, turning back to talk to Y/N’s mom again.
You sigh and trudge through the backyard, approaching the boat house. You hear quiet voices and it becomes clear they’re on the dock, on the other side. Peering through the hazy windows, you can see them.
It’s like a hot knife to your heart as you take in the scene. He’s got a hand on her cheek and you know the words coming out of his mouth are more than likely some bullshit about how he’ll come back for her. Keeping up the lie that he doesn’t use snapchat and refuses to make a facebook to avoid the obligation of talking to her all year long. You feel your stomach churn.
She deserves better.
He leans in, kissing her gently. You feel like you could be sick, so you turn and jog up the hill, back to the end of the driveway. You call his name, barking it out into the air, hoping to startle him. It works, and a few seconds later, he’s running towards you.
The entire car ride is silent. You look over his shoulder and watch as he texts his girlfriend. You wonder what she’s thinking about, sitting in the passenger seat of her mom’s car, headed in the opposite direction.
PRESENT DAY
“You… You kept it?” She asks, her voice broken. You snatch your key from her hand and put the one to her house on the table of the entryway.
“Of course I did.” You answer, your tone cold.
When will she realize how different we really are?
Josh approaches, dressed in his day clothes, still slightly damp. You open the door for him, ushering him out with a dramatic arm. You follow, slamming it behind you, not wanting to hear another word from her.
Josh trudges towards his truck, and you try to resist getting the last word, but it’s in your nature. You can’t help it.
“You know, you’re a real prick. I told you I liked her. All that shit we talked about over break? Back at home? You didn’t think even once that maybe you shouldn’t fuck this up for me?”
“You fucked it up for yourself, Jake!” He says, exasperated, a smile of disbelief on his face. “And don’t even try to take the moral high ground like you didn’t destroy my relationship with Hayden the same exact way.”
“You were never serious about her, Josh!”
“Says who?” He says, turning to look at you. He looks deep into your eyes, and you see a flicker of pain.
“You didn’t like her, you complained about her constantly, I didn’t–”
“I complain about you too, don’t I?” Josh says with a knowing lilt to his voice, and it stops you in your tracks.
He loved her.
“I didn’t know.”
“I’m not having this conversation. What’s done is done.” He says, shying away from the vulnerability he just started to show.
Josh shuts the door of his truck, starting it and flicking the headlights on. He’s gone in seconds and you’re stuck standing in the rain, wondering if he’s right. Wondering if you’re the one who fucked things up for yourself, and if it’s time to stop blaming him.
HER POV
Sunday morning, you wake up to the sound of whining at the front door. It’s earlier than you would usually wake up to let Bloo out, so you struggle to pull yourself out of bed. Heading for the sliding door, you open it to allow him a bathroom break. Your stubborn weimaraner remains at the front door, though. He cries a little more.
“Come on, Bloo.” You say, sighing. “He’s not coming.”
Bloo relents and mopes over to the back door, heading outside. You close it behind him and start to make yourself some coffee. You figure may as well stay awake.
The moment you let Bloo back inside, he bolts for the door. He’s sitting on the doormat, whining and wagging his tail. You pull a mug from the cabinet, looking over at him sadly. You take a picture of him waiting at the door and send it to Jake with a message attached. You figure it couldn’t hurt. Is it a little manipulative? Maybe. But you miss him and if you have to use your dog to get him back into your life, you’re not above it.
By the time you finish your coffee, Bloo is still insisting you open the door. On your way to put your mug in the sink, you open the door, intending to let him look through the glass storm door, hoping to convince him Jake isn’t there. You unlock and open the door, swinging it open.
“See? He’s not–”
You’re rendered speechless. When you look down at the ground outside the door, there’s a cardboard box sitting on your welcome mat. On one flap, there’s Sharpie-d handwriting you recognize is Jake’s, and it just says “books.”
You open the storm door and lift the box, bringing it inside. When you open the top of the box, inside is everything Jake bought for Bloo. His food and water bowls, his spare leash, his treats, his bed, his toys. You can’t stop the immediate flood of tears that comes, a sob wracking your body.
It’s really over, isn’t it?
You flop to the floor, Bloo stepping into your lap and circling, sitting as best he can despite the fact that he doesn’t fit. You hug him close, crying as you rest your head on his back.
You would be lying to yourself if you said you don’t know how you got here. There’s no excuse for what you did, but the truth is that part of your heart was convinced that Josh would come around. It was foolish and naive of you, but hindsight is 20/20.
Regret plagues you every second of every day. You wish you would have told Jake you wanted him and only him. The part of you that wasn’t hopelessly waiting for Josh was scared of committing to Jake, and it has left you here, alone, far away from home, feeling like you’ve wasted your entire time at Vanderbilt. Sure, you passed and you’ll get your degree. But you squandered every spare second of your experience here making stupid decisions. You’re not leaving with a single new friend, any untainted memories, any positive life experience. You feel like a failure.
There has to be some way to fix this.
You reach over and pull your phone out of your backpack, pulling up your contacts. There in your contacts, second only to your mom, is Jake’s name. You press it without a second thought, needing to talk to him, needing to at least try.
It goes straight to voicemail.
JAKE POV
You felt your phone buzz in your pocket as you stood in line waiting for your coffee. You knew it was probably her. Or maybe you hoped it was? No. No you don’t. Do you?
You knew she probably saw the box of stuff on her porch. You didn’t bother looking at your phone to confirm, knowing whatever she had to say would still be too much for you to handle. You could hardly pull yourself away from her house this morning as you dropped it off, but you had to get that stuff out of your house, it hurt too much to see it.
So now, you stood here waiting for your coffee instead of picking up Bloo for your run. You’d gone silent since the minute you walked out that door. You’d turned your phone onto airplane mode for the past few days and hardly left your house. No calls in, no calls out. Not a single text coming through. You knew they were there, though. You knew they were waiting for you when you turned it on. So today, you did. This morning you rolled over in bed and grabbed your phone, tapping the little airplane and feeling the buzz in your hand as the calls and messages poured in.
You didn’t have the nerve to read hers just yet, but the messages from Josh were exactly as you expected. He made no effort to see you or apologize. Just carrying on with normal conversation as if he hadn’t completely betrayed you. He wasn’t sorry. Not at all. He was taking this as a victory.
Your curiosity got the best of you and pulled your phone from your pocket, seeing her name on the screen and causing your heart to jump into your throat. Why does it hurt so fucking bad?
“Order for Jake!” the barista called from behind the counter.
You quickly shoved it back into your jacket pocket, swallowing harshly as your fingertips grazed the treats you kept there for Bloo. You stepped up to the counter and grabbed the coffee, making your way towards the front door. Spotting a trash can you reach into your pocket and collect the treats, tossing them in the garbage as you exit the door.
As you sit in the car sipping your coffee you pull your phone out again, letting your thumb hesitantly swipe over her message.You didn’t dare let your eyes read the messages before it. You couldn’t. Not yet.
Y/N
9:07am: He still wants to go if you do.
The image attached causes a lump to form in your throat. Bloo slumped onto the ground by the front door, waiting for you. Just like he has every Sunday. Your routine, together.
“Fuck... I’m sorry buddy.” you breathed, closing the message and tossing your phone into the passenger seat.
You put the car in reverse, heading towards the office when your phone buzzes again. Your eyes flash over to it, wondering if it’s her again but you will yourself not to look at it until you get where you’re going. You were fine. You could do that.
It was at the second stop sign that you found yourself reaching for it, unable to wait two more minutes. You had to know. You let out a defeated sigh when a different name appeared on the screen. Great, a group text.
Mom
9:14am: Two weeks until vacation! Jake, don’t forget to send me your flight information. Josh, are you flying or driving?
You huffed out a sigh. You completely fucking forgot. Maybe you could still get out of it.
You
9:15am: What are the dates again? I might have something going on afterall.
Josh
9:15am: Hello mother dearest, I will be driving. Also, Jake I checked the calendar, we are free. Pack your bags!
That motherfucker.
You pull into the parking lot at the office, throwing your car in park as you try to figure out what to say.
Mom
9:17am: Oh perfect! I can’t wait to see you both. I miss you so much. It will be so fun to have you all together again. Just like old times. I can’t wait!
There was no getting out of this. Fuck.
You
9:19am: I’ll send it over to you shortly. See you soon!
Josh
9:20am: Yeah, it’s going to be a blast. 😎
You roll your eyes and lock your phone, shoving it into your pocket. As you make your way up to the office door you feel your phone buzz again, this time a call, not a message. You quickly pull it from your pocket, and sigh when you see hee name on the screen. Now she found the box.
HER POV
EARLY JUNE
Two weeks passed without a word between the three of you. You expected that though. Jake refused your calls and left your texts on read. Two Sundays had come and gone with no trace of him. Bloo didn’t deserve that, but you sure did. You didn’t even bother reaching out to Josh. Why should you? You had to know that it would come to this. You knew. How could you be so stupid? How could you not have seen that this was all just a game?
You pull the zipper on your suitcase, packed to the brim with bathing suits, shorts, dresses, and every pair of comfy pajamas you own. You need this vacation. You need to get away from this city. Away from these men. You know there’s no way they are making the trip now, and for that you were grateful.
Your eyes flicked to Bloo, asleep on his bed. You planned to board him while you were away, not wanting him to suffer through the miserably long car ride to Savannah, but as the receptionist picked up you ended the call. You couldn’t leave him. These last few weeks had been just as hard on him as they had been on you. He needed you like you needed him. You smiled as he stretched out across his bed, and you couldn’t help but think that if by some chance Jake did decide to go, he might be happy to see him.
“You ready for a little vacation?” you ask him. His eyes pop open and blink at you blankly.
“It will be good for us I think. We can clear our heads and come back fresh.”
You toss your suitcase to the floor and crawl into bed, checking your phone for a message you knew wouldn’t be there. You set your alarm for 8:00AM and plug it in, turning off your lamp as you roll to your side. You hug your pillow tightly to your body as you close your eyes, begging sleep to take you quickly, but of course it doesn’t. Your mind flashes back to that night and the horrible look on Jake’s face. You knew you hurt him beyond repair.
You knew there was no way you could explain. There was no explanation. You lied to him. You fell right into Josh’s plan and you didn’t even notice. How could Josh do this to his own brother?
Did Jake really do the same thing to Josh?
You hoped that this week away would help you figure things out. Help you find some clarity in this fucked up situation. But more than that, you hoped you��d find the words to tell Jake just how sorry you were, and how badly you messed up. And that somehow, someway, he could find it in his heart to forgive you.
JAKE POV
“What do ya say Jakey, you want to do this puzzle with your dear ol’ mom?”
Your eyes flicked up to meet hers as she stood in front of you holding the puzzle box with a smile.
“Alright.” you answer, pulling yourself up from the overstuffed couch. You were the first here, your mom plucking you from the airport bright and early this morning. You spent most of the day shopping for food and supplies for the rental, and getting everything situated. You knew Y/N was set to arrive later today, her mom practically vibrating with an excitement you didn’t quite share.
“Okay! Let’s go to the table. Oh, I’m so happy you’re here honey. I missed you so much. You know, Y/N usually does a puzzle with me every year, hopefully she won’t be mad I replaced her with you this time.” she laughs. You do your best to offer back a smile, but you know she can tell it’s forced.
“Everything okay, Jake?” she asks, placing her hand on your arm.
You clear your throat, “Yeah– Yes. I’m good, it's just been a long day.” you lie.
She stares at you for a minute or two as you begin to assemble the edges of the puzzle. You let your eyes meet hers, and that was your fatal mistake. She knew you were lying.
“You can talk to me, you know.” she pauses. “Your secrets are safe with me.”
“It’s complicated Mom. I fucked up, and I am not sure if it’s fixable this time. I really don’t want to talk about it. I am fine, though. Okay?” you ask, gently.
“Okay, well if you ever do, just come find me, or call me or even text me. Would be nice to hear from you every now and again.” she taunts, snapping a piece into place.
It’s quiet for a while, the puzzle coming along to reveal a picture of a sandy beach at sunset. The clock on the wall reads 8:47PM and you know it’s only a matter of time until she walks through those doors. You were glad Josh wasn’t here yet, you knew you wouldn’t be able to talk to her if he was. Wherever he was, chaos followed. At least that's how it seemed. You weren’t quite sure what you were going to say yet, but you hoped that when you saw her you’d know. You were mad, furious even, but you knew all too well how easy it was to fall victim to one of Josh’s schemes, and because of that you wonder if maybe your initial reaction to her had been too harsh. Would she forgive you? Did you want her to?
You’re snapped from your quiet thoughts by the sound of the door opening. You stiffen in your chair and hold your breath as you wait for her to enter. You mom pushes away from the table to greet whoever may be entering, and even if you wanted to you couldn’t peel your eyes away from the door.
The door flies open as Bloo tears through the entryway of the beach house, all legs and feet. She brought him. You feel a tug at your heart as he sees you, bounding over to you with his leash still dragging behind him. He wags his nub at you excitedly and you try to pretend that you’re not completely ecstatic to see him as you pat the top of his head. Then, you see her. A sight for sore eyes in the tightest yoga pants you’d ever seen. A cropped hoodie falling from her shoulders as she drops her bags at the door.
You swallow nervously as your eyes meet hers, flicking away instantly to look down at the puzzle. She shares hugs and greetings with your mom as her mom appears in the kitchen. You try not to listen to their conversation, or pay any mind to her at all. You don’t want her to think you care, even though you very much do. You snap a few pieces into place as your mom ushers her upstairs to her room for the week and you can’t help but wonder if she will come back down. You could feel the tension between the two of you.
Your mom rejoins you at the table, putting her glasses back on and getting comfortable.
“I’m so glad Y/N could make it. I love having you all here again, just need Joshy now.” she smiles, and you offer her a tight lipped smile back.
Y/N and Bloo make their way back down to the main room, following behind her mom as they enter the kitchen. Her mom pours her a glass of red wine, left over from dinner, and Y/N accepts it, taking a large gulp from what you can see out of the corner of your eye.
The two join you at the table, and still you try not to look at her, without causing a scene.
“So you just finished finals, how did you do?” your mom asks, looking up at Y/N.
“Oh, um. Great actually, I passed all of them and came out with mostly A’s in every class. One B, but that’s okay.” she laughs, setting her wine glass on the table. You felt a wave of pride wash over your chest. Of course she aced her finals.
“That’s amazing honey! What have you been up to in your free time? Come on, catch us up on life!” your mom gushes, and you wish you could just melt into the ground. You absolutely do not want to hear what she has been doing since your departure from her daily life. You’re scared to hear the answer.
“Well, Bloo and I have just been exploring the city a little. Found a cute dog park near my place. He was really getting into a good running routine, and after a few weeks off he seemed a little depressed so I searched and found a little trail nearby. Everything is good now, we are back in the swing of things. Promised I would take him on a beach run this week, though.”
You feel your heart plummet to your stomach. She takes him now? Does he miss you?
“Oh cool, sounds like you’re really settling in there. I’m glad to hear that. Jake runs sometimes too, don’t you Jake?” your mom asks, gesturing towards you.
You clear your throat and nod gently, “Yeah, sometimes.”
“Maybe you could show her a few places, she probably shouldn’t go alone anyways.” she urges.
Your eyes flick over to Y/N, whose cheeks are a shade pinker than normal. She doesn’t look at you, instead focusing on Bloo’s head in her lap.
“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see.” you reply, trying not to feed into the conversation much more.
“Well, I think I’m off to bed. Y/N, you should try and help Jake with this puzzle, lord knows he needs it and you were always better at them than I was.”
“Oh, no. I’d hate to barge in on your puzzle!” she says, politely rejecting.
“No, really! You two should catch up anyways.” she says, slipping down the hallway and retreating into the bedroom. Y/N’s mom hugs her neck and follows your mom’s lead, saying her goodnights and leaving the two of you alone at the kitchen table.
You let your eyes meet hers as the bedroom door closes, and you notice the small silver sailboat dangling from her neck. You swallow heavily, and bite your lips together as a pang of hurt rushes through your chest.
You try to focus on the puzzle, instead of the smell of her perfume drifting towards you. Or the way her hands sweep so gently over the pieces. Or the strand of hair that she keeps blowing away from her face. Your mind is racing, yet still, you don’t know what to say. The two of you work on the puzzle in silence, only the occasional glance shared between the two of you.
She could have easily gone up to her room, and you could have easily gone to yours, but neither of you did. She wanted to stay, and so did you. Even though you hadn’t spoken, you could still feel the pull she had on you, and you wondered if there really was a chance of fixing this.
You pause trying to find a match as you see her twisting and turning her piece. There's a crinkle between her brows and she bites her cheek as she tries to get it to fit. You take a deep breath and reach out, placing your hand on her fingers, flipping the piece as you look up at her. “Try it that way.” you breathe, a whisper of words.
You see her throat move as she swallows nervously, flicking her eyes back down to the piece and snapping it into place. She bites her lips together as her eyes meet yours. “Thanks.”
You nod and continue to find the next piece in the section you’re working on when you feel Bloo rest his head in your lap. His silvery gray eyes blink up at you, his tail wagging slowly as he waits for your affection. There’s nothing in the world you’d rather do than rile him up and give him all the love he’s missed out on over the past few weeks, but you know you can’t. So instead you offer him another gentle pat, not paying him much mind at all. You can feel his eyes boring into you as he waits for you to talk to him, but after a few more seconds he sighs and sulks over towards the couch.
Your eyes flick up to Y/N’s, a hint of sadness behind them as she watches the two of you. You let out another sigh, and toss back the rest of your drink, pulling your phone from your pocket and pretending to be busy.
Her voice is soft when she finally speaks to you, the nerves present in her tone. “Is Josh coming?”
You suck your teeth as you answer, “Yeah. But he won’t be here until late. Why am I not shocked you’re asking about him…” you grumble.
“I was just wondering, Jake, sorry for wanting to be prepared. This isn’t exactly the most comfortable situation.” she retorts, sipping her wine.
“Oh, I’m sorry, are you under the impression that I want to be here?” you snap back, knowing full well that you do want to be here.
“No, I–”
“Exactly. Let’s just get through this week.” you sigh, pushing up from your chair grabbing your empty glass and her wine glass. A look of shock paints her features and she huffs a breath of annoyance as you place the glasses in the sink.
She stands from the table as you turn off the lights, calling Bloo to her side as she makes her way up the stairs. You are right behind her, and you follow her down the hall to your room, conveniently right across from hers.
She opens the door and ushers Bloo inside, but he stands at your side unmoving.
“Bloo, now.” she commands, granting her a look of acknowledgement, but still he doesn’t move.
Her eyes meet yours, slowly filling with rage. “Let’s go Bloo. Right now.” she snaps, and surely he realizes she's serious as he tucks his tail under and trots into the room.
She looks at you for a minute as you stand in your doorway, and you can tell there’s something she wants to say, but she doesn’t let herself, instead closing her bedroom door and shutting herself in for the night.
As you slip into your bed you wonder what she wanted to say. Was it the same things you wanted to say?
Bloo misses you, does she? You can hear him walking around in her bedroom, his nails clicking against the tile floors and the muffled whispers of her telling him to lay down. You wonder how she’s sleeping, and if it’s as broken and unrestful as yours has been. You wonder if she’s been taking care of herself. It sounded like she had been, and she certainly looked as good as the day you left her. That day. The worst day.
As you start to drift off you hear the front door open, and the sound of voices carrying up stairs. Your curiosity is piqued when you realize the second voice is female, and even worse, you recognize it. An aggravated ‘fuck’ leaves your lips as you hear Josh and Hayden ascend the stairs, laughing and giggling as they make their way into the last open bedroom. You realize then that any hope you had of this week going smoothly had officially gone out the window, and the worst part was that Y/N didn’t even know it yet.
HER POV
It’s the smell of coffee brewing that pulls you from your dream, your eyes fluttering open to the far too bright bedroom you were assigned for the week. You notice the absence of Bloo, and see his bed empty and you wonder who took it upon themselves to let him out this morning. You know it has to be Jake, but you don’t want to let yourself believe that he still cares. You flip the blankets off of your body and pad into the small connected bathroom, starting the shower as you wet your toothbrush.
You can hear the echo of voices downstairs as you slip into the shower, and wonder if you’re the last one up. You knew today was going to be spent out at the beach, so you didn’t take too much time in the shower, just rinsing away your long car ride last night. You flick the shower handle and wrap yourself in a towel, making your way to your suitcase to dig out a bikini and a coverup for the day. You grab the first one you see, a classic black triangle top and the matching bottoms, something a little more cheeky than you’d like, but you didn’t plan on being around the guys long enough for them to really get a good look.
You pulled the gauzy gray dress over the bikini, and braided your wet hair tying it off with an elastic. You took a deep breath as you opened the bedroom door, hearing the voices more clearly. You made your way down the stairs and as you rounded the corner into the kitchen you were stopped dead in your tracks.
Hayden?
At the breakfast bar sat Josh and Hayden, sharing a plate of eggs and fruit as they talked with one another. Josh’s eyes met yours in a look you couldn’t decipher, but it was short lived as he turned his attention back to her. You swallowed nervously as you kept moving towards the coffee pot, your mind positively swimming with thoughts.
You grabbed a mug from the cabinet, and poured yourself a steaming hot cup, doing your very best to seem unaffected by the unexpected guest. You turned around as Bloo ran his cold nose up the back of your leg.
“There you are! I was wondering where you went.” you cooed, scratching his snout.
You followed him towards the kitchen table, where Jake sat nursing his own mug of coffee with a smug grin playing on his lips. You let your eyes flick over to Hayden, positively fawning over Josh as she offered him a strawberry between her perfectly manicured fingers. You rolled your eyes and took a sip of your coffee, feeling more anxious than you should on your ‘relaxing’ vacation.
You turn to look at Jake who is focusing on his phone, and just as you start to open your mouth Karen pops into the kitchen.
“Oh you’re up!” she smiles, making eye contact with you, turning the corner to see Josh and Hayden.
“Oh my baby! And Hayden, oh my gosh! I can’t believe it! Oh I am so happy to see you!” she gushes, wrapping her arms around Josh’s neck.
“I’m so glad to be here, there was no way I was going to miss out on this trip.” she says, tossing a smirk over her shoulder towards Jake. You hear him scoff under his breath as he turns his attention back to his phone.
“Y/N, have you met Hayden? Her and Josh dated for a long time!” she smiles, hoping to introduce the two of you. You nod your head and play along, not wanting to stir up any trouble.
“Oh yes! We met a month or two ago!” you smile, looking back at Hayden. She offers you a fake smile and turns back to Josh who is sitting there completely smug.
“I think you girls are gonna get along so well, you really have a lot in common!” she encourages, gesturing to the both of you.
“Yeah, like sleeping partners.” Jake mutters incoherently under his breath.
You kick him under the table, glad that Karen didn’t hear him. A grin turns his lips as he locks his phone and sets it on the table.
“Well, your mom and I were thinking about hitting the beach today, any of you want to join us?” she asks the group, and you immediately answer, needing to get the hell out of this house.
“Yes! I’m ready actually, just have to grab my bag.”
“Perfect! Anyone else? I’m packing a cooler…” she continues.
“I might.” Jake answers, biting his cheeks.
“Oh, we are so going down there, I just have to get ready.” Hayden answers for the two of them.
“Sounds like it will be a fun day!” Karen smiles, disappearing down the hallway.
JAKE POV
You walk behind Y/N, sandwiched between your mom and her own. They chatter as they walk down the small boardwalk leading to the shore. You can’t hear what they’re saying over the noisy drag of the plastic wheels of the cooler you’ve been tasked with lugging to the sand, like you didn’t already have an umbrella over your shoulder.
Bloo trots ahead of Y/N, sniffing eagerly at whatever the leash lets him reach, and you silently wish you were on dog duty instead. Josh and Hayden are lingering behind you, taking their sweet time as they walk hand in hand, going through the honeymoon phase all over again. You suppress a gag as you hear her giggle from a few yards away.
You all pick a spot near the water, settling the cooler into the sand. You push the umbrella deep into the sand, opening it with some concentration and elbow grease, seeing as the thing probably hasn’t been opened in a few years. When you finish and stand back up, you push your sunglasses up by the bridge and catch Y/N staring. You look away, setting up your beach chair and trying to get comfortable.
“Do you mind if I hang this here?” She asks, gesturing to the knob on the umbrella with the loop at the end of Bloo’s leash. “He probably wants to sit with you anyway.”
“I guess. Kinda wanted to sit alone.” You remark, trying to seem as bored with the conversation as possible. She seems taken off guard at your bluntness, shaking her head.
“Oh. Okay. Sorry, just because it’s like, kinda hot and he might need some shade. I didn’t bring an umbre–”
“It’s fine, just…. Here.” You say, cutting her off, unable to bear her nervous energy any longer. You take the leash from her and stick it under the leg of your beach chair.
“Thanks.” She says, watching as Bloo takes a seat in the sand. She pulls out his collapsible water bowl and fills it, leaving it under your umbrella nearby. You stick your nose in your book, busying yourself to avoid talking to her.
Once the dog is situated, she walks off. You don’t watch as she goes, trying to concentrate on what you’re reading. You’re reading the same paragraph over for the third time because you can’t seem to absorb any of it while she’s nearby.
You can’t help but check on what everyone else is doing, and when you look up, Y/N is bent over searching through the little wagon you all used to carry the endless amount of beach shit everyone deemed necessary. She stands back up and pulls her dress over her head, moving her braid back over her shoulder. Her bikini is nothing more than a few black triangles tied together with string. You immediately avert your eyes, reaching to open the cooler and grab yourself a beer, pulling your keys from the front zipper of your backpack. You use the bottle opener to pop open your Modelo and then it catches your eye. That fucking friendship bracelet.
You look back up and she’s standing a few steps away. She sees it too. She leans over and grabs a seltzer out of the ice, her already sunkissed skin making your heart pound. She locks eyes with you for just a moment before walking off, her bathing suit bottoms sitting high on her hips, wedged in her ass to the point it has to be on purpose.
You’re pulled from your thoughts when you see Josh and Hayden setting up in front of you, ironically forming a triangle between you, them, and Y/N who’s laying out her towel a little ways to your right. She shakes it out from its fold, then lays it on the sand. She drops to her knees and leans forward to stretch it out, immediately making your dick hard and your resolve weak.
The cosmic scale seems to balance, though, when your line of sight is occupied by Josh and Hayden, their hands all over each other as they kiss and cuddle on the beach like it isn’t 90 degrees in the blazing sun. Y/N is off to the side, laying on her stomach, propped on her elbows. You watch her back rise and fall as she sighs and lays all the way down, turning her head away from them as she gets some sun.
The day goes by, seemingly getting more miserable by the minute. Bloo can’t seem to sit still. Your moms didn’t last an hour in the heat and they left you behind with all their shit. You only have one beer left. Josh and Hayden are seconds away from getting arrested for doing something that’s illegal in all 50 states in the middle of the fucking beach.
Looking over at Y/N, she’s still in the sun, her back turning slightly red. You give a stern shout in her direction.
“Hey.”
She lifts her head immediately, looking over her shoulder at you through her sunglasses.
“Put on some sunscreen. You’re fuckin’ frying.”
She grins in response, but you don’t afford her one of your own. She stands up brushing the sand off of her and heading for the beach bag. She pulls out some spray sunscreen and puts it on her legs, her arms, her stomach, her chest. She rubs it in a little and it leaves a shimmery sheen on her skin that somehow makes the idea of reaching out to sink your fingertips into the softest parts of her more tempting.
She looks up at you, catching you. She takes a few steps in your direction, putting her sunglasses on her head.
“Can you put some of this on my back?” She asks, offering the can to you. You huff and stand up, making it clear you’re annoyed, and snatch it from her. She turns around and offers her back to you. You spray across her back and shoulders, then her lower back. As you do it, you watch as she cautiously unties her bottoms on one side, then re-ties them. As she pulls and adjusts them, she gives you a very purposeful, very clear view right down the back of them. You clear your throat and take a step backwards once you’re done, looking out at the horizon.
“Can you just, like, run a hand over it? If you spray too close it sometimes doesn’t get everywhere.” She says, correcting your charity work. You make it seem like she’s asked you to do the impossible as you drop the spray to the sand and run your hands over her shoulders, her upper back, then down along the curve of her waist. You clear your throat once you’re done, sitting back down.
“Thanks...” She mumbles, making a bit of a show out of bending over to get the sunscreen from where you dropped it. You make no effort to help her, opting to instead sit back in your chair and run your eyes up her legs, over her sandy cheeks, then up to her face as she stands. She stares at you for a second, so you raise your brows quickly and shake your head as if asking, “what do you want?”
She takes a deep breath and walks back towards her towel as you imagine pulling those damn strings and letting that suit pool at her ankles.
HER POV
After lugging the metric ton of beach chairs, umbrellas, and bags back to the house, you lean the chairs you were carrying onto the railing of the deck as you watch Jake unceremoniously drop everything in his arms and walk inside. You take a second to arrange what he left in a way that won’t have you tripping and falling in the wee hours of the morning when you take Bloo out for his walk.
Stepping inside the door and slipping off your sandals, the AC gives you goosebumps. You see your mom and Karen unpacking some grocery bags at the counter as you unclip Bloo’s leash.
“Do you need any help?” You ask, holding your damp towel in your hand. Bloo is off drinking some water, his metal tags clinking against the bowl from Jake’s house.
“Why don’t you go shower off and maybe you and Hayden can handle dessert?” Karen says, giving you a bright smile. You nod, wary of her suggestion to work alongside Hayden, but you don’t say anything else as you turn and head up the stairs.
Stepping down the hall, you see Jake’s door is closed tight. So is Josh and Hayden’s, but that doesn’t stop the giggles and rumbles of his voice from coming through the wall. You shuffle into your own room, shutting the door with a little more force than necessary.
Dinner is, in a word, tense. Josh and Hayden carry the conversation, their dynamic truly unbearable. Now that they’re back together and “better than ever,” a direct quote from Hayden herself, they can’t seem to keep their hands off of each other.
“So, Hayden. Do you still work at the winery?” Karen asks, smiling at her from the head of the table. You keep your head down, not really engaging in the conversation.
“Oh, yeah! That’s really why I was so excited to get away for a few days. It’s busy season and I can’t seem to catch a break.” She says, sipping some wine.
“What do you do there?” Your mom asks, and you look to your right, seeing she’s genuinely interested. You can’t help but roll your eyes.
Jake catches it and smirks into his plate, his elbow on the table as he pushes his food around, the end of his fork between the tips of his fingers. Hayden drones on in the background about whatever she does as an event coordinator at some Nashville winery while you watch Jake. He puts his fork down and leans back in his chair, the bottom of his distressed white t-shirt riding up just slightly. He takes a big gulp of his red wine, and when he moves to put the glass down, he catches you staring. He cocks a single arrogant brow at you, swallowing the rest of the wine in his mouth.
“What is it that you do, Y/N?” Hayden asks with a disingenuous air about her, and your attention is immediately pulled from Jake and back to the conversation.
“I’m actually about to start my job search.” You answer, taking a deep breath. “Now that I’m done with school I have to decide if I’m going to stay in Nashville or head home or… who knows. I’m figuring it out. Life’s been a little crazy lately.”
“So I’ve heard.” She says, tilting her head with a smile. Her shiny blonde hair falls against her face and you cut your eyes to hers, a silent warning. Jake audibly laughs this time. He breaks off a piece of garlic bread and tosses it to Bloo.
You shift your dirty look to him now, widening your eyes as if asking what the hell he’s doing feeding Bloo table food. He shrugs, challenging you to say something as the table falls silent. You pull your eyes away from him, picking your battles.
Josh and Hayden start to chatter again and the tension settles, your mom turning a little towards you. She puts a hand on your back as she and Karen make plans to go out shopping the next day. You’re realizing she can tell something is off, so you force a smile and start to clear your plate. Your mom follows you to the sink shortly after, the kitchen a nice reprieve from the other room.
“You know I don’t like to meddle…” She starts as you rinse your plate, and you can’t help but smile.
“Mom.” You chide, and she laughs softly. She leans on the counter next to you, watching as you wash up a few dishes to avoid whatever conversation she’s about to try and have with you
“Do you remember the summer we spent in Cape Cod?” She asks, a lilt to her voice that says she’s going somewhere with this. “You and the twins were about six, I think. Sammy hadn’t started school yet, I know that much, because we bought him one of those license plate keychains with his name on it and he was so excited to put it on his backpack.” She muses, and you smile along. Karen pops in and drops off some plates from the table, seeing the two of you are having a moment, so she takes her leave soon after, grabbing the bottle of wine on the counter on her way.
“That was the year with the bunk beds.” You say, confirming you at least remember one aspect of the trip.
“Yes, yes! That’s exactly where I’m going with this. That first night, everyone argued over who would get what bed. The twins were in the bunk beds and you were in the third bed over near the window.” She speaks softly, just loud enough to hear over the water. You rinse the plates and put them in the dishwasher, sorting the silverware to load in next.
“Uh huh…” You respond, a little skeptical, wondering what she’s getting at.
“Jake was on the top bunk when we put you all to bed. When I got up, I creeped in the door to wake you all up. Apparently…” She starts with a smirk. “Josh was tossing and turning all night and Jake couldn’t sleep with the movement from the lower bunk. So when I looked in your little twin sized bed, there you both were, face to face, curled up, sharing a pillow. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen.” She says, her eyes saying more than her words.
You look at her, letting the water run, but your hands are still. You raise your eyebrows, trying to hide your smile.
“I knew it then.” She blurts out, a smug smirk on her lips.
“There’s nothing to know, mom.” You correct, getting back to the pot you were scrubbing as your cheeks flush.
“Are we ready to get started on these cookies?!” Hayden asks, popping into the doorway. You give your mom a knowing smile, then turn to look at Hayden.
“I’m just gonna finish these last few dishes if you want to preheat the oven?” You suggest, your mom squeezing your arm affectionately before she takes her leave. “I think the cookie sheets are in that cabinet over there.” You say, gesturing.
She reads the back of the package, the pre-cut cookies really not a task that requires two people, and then presses the buttons on the oven. She crouches down in front of the cabinet and you hear the clanging of pots and pans.
It’s mostly quiet between the two of you as you finish the dishes. She lays some parchment paper on the cookie sheet. Eventually you dry your hands and turn towards her. She opens the first package of cookies, handing you half.
“You know, I really don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us.” She says, and you almost cringe visibly. It takes what little willpower you have to turn that feeling into a forced smile.
“Oh, I–”
You’re interrupted by a thump from upstairs, followed by what sounds like Jake’s voice. You’re not sure what’s going on, but you assume he’s just roughhousing with Bloo or something. Hayden continues the conversation without skipping a beat.
“It’s really a shame the way things ended up.” She continues, laying cookies out one by one. “I know you really liked Josh.” Her words are dripping with condescension. What did he tell her?
“Well, it’s–”
“I’m sure it’s been hard moving on. But rest assured…” She says, leaning in towards you. “I’m not mad at you. No judgment here.”
“Oh.”
It’s obvious that she doesn’t know the full story. You don’t think it’s worth explaining yourself to her, since you’re certain whatever you tell her will bounce around her empty head for a few seconds before swiftly departing through the other ear. Instead, you opt for silence as the two of you stand side by side, laying out the cookies.Your pile has run out, so you wipe off your hands and head for the door.
“If you set the timer, I’ll just wait in the dining room. Gonna go, um... Finish that puzzle.” You say, lingering at the door. She gives you a cheery acknowledgment and you walk off, breathing a sigh of relief. It feels like someone’s waiting for you at every turn, waiting to have a conversation that they know is going to catch you off guard. You unroll the puzzle mat and grab your wine glass, sitting at the table to wait for the timer to go off.
JAKE POV
After a miserable dinner filled with Hayden and Josh seemingly rubbing their happiness in your faces, you retreat to your room, intending to isolate yourself once more. This entire long weekend was bound to be a shitshow and you curse yourself for not getting out of it sooner.
Before you can even get comfortable, you’re interrupted by a knock on the door. You know no matter who it is, you don’t want to talk to them. It just varies how much depending on the person.
When you turn to look, peeking through the door is none other but the man at the top of your list. Josh has his phone in his hand and is looking at you like he’s got a question.
“Are you checking emails?” He asks, his voice serious. You shake your head as you look through your backpack for the book you’ve been reading.
“No. I deleted all my apps. I’m not working. I told them that.” You answer, searching through all the junk that lives in your bag.
“Okay… I’ll tell them it has to wait.” He says, almost baiting you to ask what he’s talking about. You won’t do it, though. You’re not engaging. You wait for him to leave, but he’s not going.
“How’ve you been?” He mumbles, slipping his phone into his pocket. You finally find your book, standing back up to look at him.
“How do you think I’ve been?” You bite back, still angry with him. Despite all the time you’ve had to think, your feelings towards Josh have yet to change or lessen. He’s silent for a moment while he takes in your reaction.
“Can’t you just rip me a new one and stop moping around? The rest of us are trying to enjoy our vacation and the minute you enter a room it’s like the grim reaper’s joined the conversation. You’re bringing us all down.”
You squeeze the book in your hands so hard your knuckles turn white. It’s taken you everything you have not to explode on someone over the last day and a half, and Josh has made a huge mistake prodding at you like this.
“Have you ever considered it’s because I’m trapped in a 4 bedroom beach house with my twin brother who I found out was fucking my ex girlfriend? And don’t forget my ex herself, who lied directly to my face about it and has been begging me to forgive her! To top it all off, you brought a surprise guest, your ex, who you had to go and tell Y/N I hooked up with in a moment of weakness! So now she and I are mad at each other all over again, I’m fucking sick of you, I don’t want to see Hayden ever again, and our mother is treating me like a wounded bird because I’m in a ‘bad mood.’ How am I supposed to enjoy a single moment, a single conversation, a single meal with ANY of you?” You ask, shouting as you near the end of your outburst.
Josh slips his phone into his pocket, sighing. He clears his throat. He goes to speak, but you’re already worked up. You don’t want to hear what he has to say.
“You have fucked up every single thing I’ve ever looked forward to. Do you know that? Everything.” You grit out, tossing your book on the bed. “You won’t let me write the music I want to. You fucked Hayden after our second date before I even had the chance to kiss her. You snatched Y/N right out from under me the moment you got wind of us sleeping together. It’s like you exist to make me miserable. Everyone thinks we’re so alike. I don’t want to be anything like you.” You spit, and Josh visibly winces at the words. It doesn’t stop you.
“You’ve made a mess of everything. You’ve turned me into someone I’m not… Hurting people, lying, getting revenge… Sacrificing my character as I try and navigate the fuckin’ disaster that is our life. Using everyone we know for some kind of validation you can’t ever seem to find. How fucked up is it that I have to say it’s ‘our’ life? I can’t believe it’s my lot in life that I can’t ever fuckin’ escape you!” You shout, and Josh’s eyes flash with hurt. Your words have wounded him, and it’s not even seconds before he’s yelling back at you.
“You can’t blame your equally shitty decisions on the fact that I’ve made mistakes, alright? You don’t get off scot free like I forced you to be a fuck up. If we’re blaming our choices on the other’s, none of this would have happened with Y/N if you hadn’t slept with Hayden.” He says, pointing at you. “You are at fault too. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can just move on and let sleeping dogs lie.”
His words resonate with you for a moment. They bounce around in your brain, formulating a train of thought that hurts you deeper than you anticipated.
None of this would have happened to Y/N if it weren’t for you.
“She didn’t deserve to get pulled into our fucked up game. You used her, you know that?”
“Oh, here comes the knight in shining armor. So did you.” Josh rolls his eyes.
“You’ve been using her since day fucking one, Josh. When we were kids! You knew I liked her. You only paid attention to her because it was some kind of fucked up game to you.”
Josh goes silent, the gears in his head turning. He doesn’t look away, though. He’s watching your eyes, looking for some way to push this all back on you. You’re not going to keep entertaining this game of mental tug-of-war.
“We could spend hours going back and forth, finding a reason for all the fucked up shit we did and blaming it on each other. I get it. I’m not a saint. I’ve been impulsive and I’ve been vindictive.” You say, trying to get a hold of yourself. You take a deep breath and Josh breaks the silence after a few moments.
“You hurt Hayden, too.” He blurts out, and that makes you pause.
“Why do you care? How many times have you tried to get rid of her?” You ask. Josh runs a hand over his face, sighing. When he speaks, his voice is strained.
“I can’t… I’m not…” He stammers, trying to get his words together. “I’m shitty at being honest with other people. I’m even worse at being honest with myself.” He says in a moment of vulnerability. “I love her, Jake. And I know, I know. I’ve been self-sabotaging for years, inflicting my own hurt on her, I know. But it’s because I cannot stand the fact that I feel this way about her. I hate feeling like I don’t have a choice in how much I care.” He confesses, shaking his head. He looks down at the ground, thinking.
“So you push her away.” You answer, filling in the blanks. “You push everyone away.”
His eyes meet yours again. There’s something in his gaze that says you’re right, but you know he won’t admit it out loud.
“We haven’t always been the best match. She’s… She’s an absolute pain in the ass. And it takes two to tango. But I think I owe it to her and to myself to see this through and take things seriously. For once.” He says, and he looks… small. He frowns, deep in thought.
“I’m sorry.” You speak into the silent room. His eyes flick to yours for a moment, acknowledging the words, but then they’re gone. The sound of the waves crashing outside fills the void as you try and muster up more of an apology. “If I had known… I wouldn’t have fucked things up for you.”
He doesn’t say anything in response. The words hang over the two of you.
“I am, too. I’m sorry.” He says, pushing off the door frame to sit on the chair in the corner of your room for the week. “I’m well aware I haven’t been a good person the last few years.”
He looks like he’s genuinely reflecting, resting his elbows on his knees, looking out the window at the waterfront.
“I wasn’t kind to Y/N. I owe her an apology the same way you do Hayden.” He says, clearing his throat. Admitting he’s wrong is difficult for him.
“I saw the perfect opportunity to get revenge. That’s exactly what it was, and I know it wasn’t right, but I did it. And I have to own that.” He mumbles, avoiding your stare again. He usually talks with his hands, but they’re still now. “Between the way you and I were butting heads about the new album and the way I couldn’t get my feelings straight with Hayden, I was angry, and I knew she would go for it. I knew she still held a candle for me after all those years and took advantage of her to hurt you.”
You feel a slight tug at your heartstrings. She’s a hopeless romantic, the same as you are in some ways. She was dealt a shitty hand when it came to the two of you.
“We’re a pair of shitheads, huh?” You say, a humorless chuckle leaving you. He exhales sharply through his nose, a halfhearted laugh of agreement.
“I spend so much of my time seething over the success, the attention, the opportunities afforded to you… I lose sight of the things I should probably be investing my energy into.” He confesses, his walls still down. It’s quiet as you think, realizing you’ve spent quite a bit of time doing the same.
“You should forgive her.” He blurts out, looking at you with honest eyes. “We both messed with her head. She meant it when she said she tried to end things with me. I basically wouldn’t let her. I… I dizzied her up. I couldn’t let you win.”
You sit on the edge of your bed, feeling too many things to even speak on how you’re feeling about Y/N. You want so badly to be angry. The moment she lied to your face having been on replay for weeks on end since the moment you found out.
The only way past this, for all of you, is forgiveness. But you know yourself, and it’s not something that comes easily to you.
“I’ll think about it.” You mumble, sighing as you stand back up.
You need some fresh air, some time away from just about everyone in this house. You step towards the door, intending to leave, but you see Josh’s downcast eyes and know you can’t quite leave.
“Uh, about what I said... about being stuck with you and everything… I didn’t—“
“Forget it.” He says, waving you off with his hand. Just like that, his walls are back up and solid as ever. You nod, knowing he understands what you meant and were going to say. You turn and head down the stairs, seeing Y/N back at the table, working on the puzzle again. She lifts her eyes to you for a moment, but then gets back to it.
“I’m gonna go for a walk.” You say to both moms standing in the kitchen, chatting over some wine.
At the word “walk,” Bloo is already at your feet, his excitement turning him into a wiggling blur of shiny silver fur. You look at Y/N, wordlessly asking her permission to take him with you. She nods, then looks back down at the pieces she’s trying to configure into the last of the horizon line.
You reach for Bloo’s leash and harness on the table near the back door. You move to squat down and put the harness on him. Y/N tries to stand, like she’s going to do it, but you shake your head at her and she sits back down.
Before you grab the door handle, you pause, hovering over her shoulder. You rest your hand on the back of the chair as you study the puzzle pieces in front of her. You reach for one, turning it before sliding it into place. By the time she turns around to look at you, you’re gone.
The two of you make your way out of the sliding glass door, down the back steps, and out towards the beach. It’s almost sunset and there are a few other couples and families out walking the coast, but it’s mostly empty.
Once you’ve made it far enough down the beach that you can’t see the house anymore, and you’re sure anyone inside can’t see you, you crouch down in the sand, pulling Bloo in towards you. He wags his tail, getting excited all over again as he jumps on you with such force he sends you toppling over into the sand.
“I missed you so much, buddy!” You grunt out through your teeth, your hands scratching his belly and back as he licks your face. “You’re the only one that listens to me, I swear to God.”
You couldn’t bear to let Y/N see you so torn up about not having seen Bloo in weeks, but you missed him. Almost as much as you missed her.
You eventually get back up to your feet, brushing sand off of your linen pants and grabbing his leash off the ground before he tries to run off towards some seagulls.
“Hey.” You say, getting his attention. “You promise to come back if I let you go?” You ask, and he tilts his head in response. You’re sure he’ll listen, so you unclip the leash and pat his back thigh, sending him off sprinting towards the flock of seagulls near the water. You can’t help but grin as you watch him fly into the air, jumping to try and catch them as they take off.
He successfully scares them all off, then starts to sniff around the shore. He stops at one specific spot, so you head over to see what the fuss is all about. When you approach, he’s curiously looking at a crab, sniffing around it as it walks across the sand. He whines, unsure.
“It’s a crab, buddy. They pinch. Careful, or she’s gonna get your nose.” You warn. “Come on.”
You snap your fingers and he lifts his head, following along as you start to walk further down the beach.
“Stay close. Your mom would kill me if I lost you.” You say, watching as he trots alongside you, occasionally veering off course to sniff at some trash or a shell.
“Or would she?” You continue, thinking out loud as if Bloo’s going to offer insight. “Josh lost you and he rewarded him pretty heavily for that, so who knows.” You grumble, watching as he sniffs curiously at a piece of driftwood.
“Go ahead,” you say, nodding. He obeys, picking it up and bringing it over to you. He drops it at your feet, so you take a seat in the warm sand, then toss it out for him to fetch.
You spend a good amount of time listening to the sound of the waves and playing fetch with Bloo. Eventually, he starts to tire out, and he leaves the driftwood out on the sand. He comes to take a seat next to you, laying his head on your thigh. He sighs deeply, looking up at you with his sweet little eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that. I know what you’re trying to say.” You chide, and he looks back out at the beach, guilty. “Everyone’s telling me to forgive her. But nobody is considering how I’m still so fuckin’ furious with her.” Bloo whines softly.
“I know she’s your mom. But she’s not perfect. She’s a damn good liar and she’s… she’s got me under this damn spell. I can’t figure out if I’m pissed at her because of what she did or if I’m pissed at her because I still want to be with her despite all of it.”
Bloo shifts, looking up at you again. You smile, realizing the absurdity of it all.
“And here I am, stuck on a vacation where the only person I can talk to is the damn dog.”
You gather up his leash, wrapping it around your hand and letting him run free a little longer. As you start to walk towards the house, he explores, sniffing up and down the beach, chasing more birds and kicking up sand. When the occasional family passes, you call his name, and with a snap of your fingers he’s back at your side.
When you’re a few houses down from where you’re all staying, you call him over and put his leash back on. You don’t need Y/N seeing him running free and getting all nervous. You stand after clipping it back in place and look up at the house.
Now that the sun has set, it’s mostly dark outside. There’s a light coming from the second floor, and for a moment you think it’s your room, but as you walk closer, you see it’s the one next to it. Y/N’s room.
You see the shadow of her moving around as you approach, and you assume she’s getting ready for bed. Bloo tugs at the leash, wanting to explore more, but all it would take is one glance out her window and she would see you letting her dog loose to get lost again.
“Sorry buddy.” You say, continuing on. Once you’re at the bottom of the steps that lead back up to the porch and the house, you look up again. You practically feel your heart stop as you’re met with a topless Y/N in the window, putting her hair up in a bun, clear as day. You take a few seconds to selfishly look at her, remembering the way she looks, the way she feels… but then realize you’re not alone. You turn around to see if there are any people walking on the beach nearby, and thankfully, there aren’t. You jog up the stairs and inside, taking off Bloo’s leash. He heads to his water bowl, which you recognize as the spare one you bought for your house, but recently gave back to Y/N.
Huffing, you head for the stairs, not sure what you’re going to say, but you’re going to say something. You stomp up both flights, then head for her door. You hear Bloo’s footsteps at the very bottom, like he’s following you up.
You knock at her bedroom door and she quietly tells you to come in, most likely not expecting you.
“You know your window is wide open, right?” You snap as soon as you open the door. She’s in the middle of getting into bed, pulling her covers down. Her pajamas consist of a paper thin tank top and some navy blue satin shorts.
“What?” She asks, looking at the window, which now has the curtains drawn, then back to you.
“There are families out there walking the beach and I look up to see your tits through the third story window.” You say, Bloo coming to sit at your feet. She gives you an eye roll. “I mean it. Don’t you have any clothes? Or did you lend them all to my brother?” You say, and she freezes. She sits on the bed, one leg still on the floor, giving you a look that says, really?
“Maybe if you didn’t give him my favorite fuckin’ shirt, you’d have something to wear.” You jab, twisting the knife, then turning to walk off toward your own bedroom.
“Jake…” She says, and you can hear the hurt in her voice. You almost regret what you said, but there’s part of you that feels slight relief at giving her a piece of your mind.
You take a shower to get the sand off of you and get changed for bed, everyone in the house awake but settling in for the night. Josh and Hayden pop into your doorway, saying goodnight. You give them a smile that would better be described as a grimace, then you hear the sound of their door closing. Your moms, occupying the downstairs bedroom, are likely already asleep after the wine they knocked back earlier.
You see the light on and the door to Y/N’s room open each time you pass your own doorway, moving your suitcase, plugging in your phone, brushing your teeth, closing your curtains. You hear Bloo bark once, and it startles you. Her voice comes from the bedroom.
“Shhh, Bloo! Come here.” She scolds, but you don’t hear his nails against the floor. Instead he whines.
You step out the door and look at him, sitting on the floor of the hallway between your two rooms. He starts to wiggle, wagging his tail.
“Go to bed, Bloo.” You tell him in an attempt to be stern, then start to close your door. He barks back at you. You furrow your brow, confused.
“Come on!” She says, getting out of bed, trying to control him. Why isn’t he listening?
You step towards him in the hall and try to coax him into her room. He jumps at you, circling excitedly as you walk towards her bed. Then it becomes clear.
“He knows you let him sleep in the bed. He wants you...” She trails off. Then she clears her throat. “He wants you to sleep in my bed so he can too, I guess.” She says, sadness in her voice.
You shake your head, turning around towards the door. Bloo barks again and you have to let out a laugh.
“Stubborn like his mom.” You remark, raising a single eyebrow in her direction.
She crosses her arms over her chest, realizing how revealing her top is. She calls his name again, but he doesn’t budge.
“Fine.” You say, looking at him, then at her. “If you’re okay with it.”
She raises her eyebrows in surprise, not sure what to say.
“For him. He can sleep between us.” You add, doing your best to sound annoyed. She nods, stepping back towards the bed. She slips under the covers and you usher Bloo with your arms to hop in after her. You get in and get comfortable, keeping a distance between the two of you, Bloo in the middle as a buffer. Silence settles over all three of you as you try to get some sleep.
HER POV
You shift in your sleep, the sound of the ocean seeming particularly loud as you try and get your bearings. As you turn and try to come to, you realize it’s not the ocean, but the sound of water running. You see the door of the bathroom is barely cracked, light pouring out from underneath.
Rubbing your eyes, you shift your tank top back into place and sit up, trying to figure out what’s going on. You decide to head down to the kitchen to get some water while you’re awake. You figure he’ll be done brushing his teeth or whatever he’s doing by the time you’re back.
Once you make it back to the bedroom, however, the water is still running. You shuffle quietly to the bathroom door, intending to check on him. You put your glass of water down on your dresser and push the door open slightly.
On the floor in the corner near the shower is your beach towel and your bikini top. You must have forgotten to hang it up with your bottoms. You don’t see him in the shower and the lid is down on the toilet, so you push the door open further.
The sight you’re met with stops you in your tracks. The first thing you see is his hand- braced on the edge of the sink, knuckles white, the strings of your black bikini bottoms wrapped once around his fist, swaying.
As more of the scene comes into view, you see his briefs and pajama pants pulled down halfway, pulled taut around the widest part of his ass, the elastic digging into the soft skin. You hear a soft groan bounce off the walls of the bathroom and you know exactly what you’ve stumbled upon. The sight is intoxicating, the sound of his fist slipping furiously over his cock making your cheeks hot. It makes your stomach flip and your thighs clench.
Your eyes shoot up to the mirror, locking with his, which you could swear were already on you. For a split second, his pace stutters, like he was hesitating. But as fast as it had creeped in, he pushed it aside, picking back up so quickly and far more savagely that if you blinked, you would have missed it.
It’s seconds before his brows furrow and his perfect, heart-shaped lips part, the bottom one swollen from the way you know he had it bitten between his teeth. They’re flushed your favorite shade of pink.
The groan that leaves him is heavy and intense, his lips between his teeth to try and keep himself quiet. Your eyes shoot down to his hand as he spills over his knuckles, some going so far as hitting the mirror. He nearly doubles over, his elbow landing on the counter for more leverage to keep him from falling to his knees. He curses under his breath, heaving to catch his breath over the sink like he’s just been revived from the brink of death. You’re frozen still as you watch, until you see him lift his head, his eyes opening back up to meet yours in the mirror once more.
Feeling drawn to him, unable to stop yourself, you slip all the way into the bathroom, gingerly reaching for his wrist. His chest rises and falls as he comes back down to earth, catching his breath, eyeing you cautiously. He looks almost helpless as he watches you lift his hand, dragging your tongue over the expanse of the back of his hand, your mouth suctioning over the side of it near his pinky. You keep your eyes on his, hoping your stare conveys everything you’re feeling; lust, need, regret, remorse…
You release it with a pop, moving to clean off his palm. He licks his lips as he watches you, his hand moving, parting his fingers to help you get every drop as your tongue darts out to clean him off.
It seems he decides you’re done when he retracts his hand and moves to tuck himself back into his pants. He squirts some soap onto his hand, pressing the pump down quickly twice, then starts to wash his hands.
“Get in bed.”
You look at him with wide eyes, nodding quickly before slipping out of the bathroom as quickly as you slipped in. You shoo Bloo out of the bed and he retreats to his own as you hop under the covers, anticipating what’s coming next.
A minute later, the light in the bathroom turns off and Jake comes out. He takes his time walking to his side of the bed, snapping his fingers at Bloo, who stands and heeds his call to hop into bed. Bloo lays between you and Jake gets in after, pulling the covers up over his shoulder and rolling away from you.
You could have sworn he was sending you to bed with the intention of continuing what had started in the bathroom, but you’re disappointed to realize he wanted the exact opposite when just a few minutes later, he’s snoring.
You squirm and shift in bed, feeling like your clothes are too tight, the sheets too hot, his body entirely too far away. You can’t believe he just fell asleep. You feel like your body is burning up, your wetness turning your satin shorts sticky, the material clinging to your thighs.
There’s no possibility you’re going to fall asleep, so you decide to slip your fingers under the waistband of your shorts, the choice to sleep without underwear really biting you in the ass now.
You’re already panting lightly, though all you’ve really done is lay in bed and listen to him snore for twenty minutes. You sigh as your fingers, so small in comparison to Jake’s, slide across your slippery skin. You can imagine his eyes- the eyes that used to look down at you underneath him, wrapped around him, like you were so precious. Like you could belong to him.
Moving your hips to get comfortable, you accidentally scare Bloo away. He hops up and takes his leave, and in response, Jake rolls over. You know he’s half asleep, because he reaches out for you, his arm wrapping around your waist. He’s not quite spooning you, but there’s contact, and it only makes you want him more.
You whimper softly with need as you squeeze your thighs together around your palm. If you can’t have what you want, which is the arrogant asshole snoring next to you that let you lick his fingers clean of his cum and then sent you to bed, you’ll take what you can get.
“Aren’t you pathetic?”
He murmurs, feeling your hips move just barely. He’s awake.
“Getting yourself off when you can feel my breath on your neck?’
You freeze, trying to pull your hand from your shorts, but his hand is quick to find your wrist.
“Don’t you dare fucking stop now… Now that you’ve got the audience you so badly wanted.” He coos, his tone almost sinister. “You’re fucking filthy, you know that?”
You can’t help but whine in response, canting your hips against your hand, desperate for some more friction. He lets out a soft, cocky chuckle when he feels you move.
“I can smell how feral you are. Like your body’s just begging to be fucked.”
“Jake…” You say as you let out a shaky breath, gently scolding him for his vulgarity.
“What, baby? I hear my brother treats you like a slut… I’m just trying to give you what you apparently wanted so badly...” He coos. He tosses the blankets off of you both, rolling you onto your back. His hand finds your throat and he leans down to whisper in your ear.
“Let me take a page out of his book, hm? I’ll fuck you, since you’re so desperate...” He says, tugging the satin shorts down your legs and tossing them aside. “But it means nothing. You understand?”
You look up at him, your eyes blown wide. You’re drunk on a cocktail of confusion, arousal, and embarrassment. It’s enough to render you speechless. All you can do is nod as he tugs down his pants and briefs, huffing like it’s an inconvenience.
"Say you want it." he demands.
"Yes. Yes." you beg.
“Thought so. Take these…” He says, grabbing your hand, specifically the two fingers he knows were just inside you, and pulling them up towards your face. “And keep yourself quiet. Taste yourself like you tasted me.” He instructs.
You do as he says, putting your middle and ring finger in your mouth, closing your lips around them. He looks down between your bodies, swiftly running the head of his cock through your folds and pressing inside you.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ needy. Can’t even let a man jerk off in peace…” he grumbles, his voice strained as he immediately starts to fuck into you, long, intentional strokes that have your mind going blank already. He knows exactly what you like and he’s determined to get you off so he can go to bed.
“So greedy you have to kick the door down and lap up my cum… Have you no shame?” He asks, leaning in, his nose pressed against your cheek as he grips your thigh and drives into you deeper.
You whine around your fingers, unable to respond, but even if you could, you can’t string together a single sentence.
“Open your mouth.” He commands as he grabs your wrist, and you immediately obey, opening your mouth as he holds your fingers close by, like he’s about to put them back in. “Since you love the taste of me and apparently can’t get enough…” He says, and you can tell by the way his tongue sounds lazy as he speaks, he’s gathering up spit in his mouth.
You flatten your tongue, brows knitting together as you look up at him. He pulls back slightly, then spits directly into your mouth. He lets out a dirty little chuckle as you swallow eagerly. He puts your fingers back into your mouth as soon as you’ve swallowed.
“You’ll just take anything you can get, won’t you, Cherry?” He says, sucking his teeth in disappointment. “Dirty girl.”
You feel your stomach flip as he uses Josh’s nickname for you, no doubt trying to hurt you. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on in some fucked up way. You feel the tension in your abdomen start to intensify, the drag of him against you making you dizzy. He can feel you’re close, and he stops.
“Come on, baby. Tell me how sorry you are.” He taunts, moving at an iceberg’s pace. You pull your fingers from your mouth, gasping and swallowing.
“I’m sorry, Jake, I’m so fucking sorry. Please...” You beg, panting as he starts to pick up his pace again. You know it’s not a real apology, and you have more to talk about, more to take accountability for, but you’re glad he forced your hand. You’re not sure you would have been able to finish if at least an ounce of the guilt wasn’t lifted from you. You put your fingers back into your mouth, thinking that’s what he would have wanted you to do, wanting to please him.
“Tastes that good, huh?” He grits out, pushing up on his palm to give himself more range as he pounds into you, an iron grip on your thigh. “Lemme taste, baby.”
He lets go of your leg and seizes your wrist with his hand, pulling your fingers from your mouth into his. You groan as you feel him suck your fingers, only to the first knuckle, barely past his soft, plush lips. His mouth is wet and soft and perfect as he drags his tongue under the pads of your fingers.
He releases them and you let your hand fall to his shoulder, holding him for leverage as he grits his teeth and speaks once more.
“Say it again.”
“I’m sorry...” You whimper, looking up at him. He has to know you are. He sees it in your eyes, but he’s Jake, he’s a skeptic, and you know he needs to hear it. With those two words, despite how dirty what was happening between you was, you solidified that what you were doing was still between two people that care about each other.
You feel tears burning at your eyes, either from the burning orgasm approaching or the bubbling feelings, and your nails dig into his shoulder slightly.
“Come on, baby. Fall apart for me. Wanna watch those pretty eyes roll back.” He says, leaning down, resting his face against yours. He captures you in a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue finding yours, tasting you, the sweet and salty mix of you both.
You cry out softly, not wanting a single soul in the house to hear what’s happening between you two. Your vision blurs, your legs tightening around him as you fall over the edge, bringing him with you. He moans loudly into your hair, into the pillow underneath you as both of you meet your end, together.
It’s a few minutes of silence, of breathing, of heartbeats, before he stands and rolls his shoulders back, running his hands through his hair. He saunters off to the bathroom first, water running once more, and when he opens the door, you take your turn, passing him silently.
It’s a surprise when you get back to bed and see he’s laid up with Bloo, who’s no longer in the spot between the two of you. Jake seems to be waiting for you to come and lay up under his arm, and you don’t hesitate to slip into bed and situate yourself as his little spoon.
When you get situated, he pulls the sheets and summer quilt over the both of you. He kisses your shoulder softly and mumbles against your skin.
“I’m sorry too.” It’s quiet, but you hear it. He sighs, then speaks again. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”
You nod, cozying up against him, hoping his proximity affords you a good night’s sleep for the first time in weeks, and trying to ignore the pit forming in your stomach at the thought of what tomorrow's conversation will bring.
.
.
.
.
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Valor (Chapter 6)
Pairing: Jake x Reader, Daniel x Reader
Word Count: 23.4k
Warnings: Cursin', Smokin', Drinkin'. Angst: Struggle and Poverty, Emotional Manipulation, Abandonment, Jealousy, Mentions of Violence, Mentions of Weapons, Physical Fighting, Blood, Bodily Injury, Heavy Angst, Reckless Driving, Allusions to Shady Activities, Coercion, Betting, Infidelity (if you squint), Public Nudity. Smut: Kissing, Teasing, Heavy Petting, Oral M!Receiving, Fingering, Voyeurism.
Valor Playlist: Apple Music | Spotify
A/N: We are so back, bitches.
A new project in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.
DANNY POV
“Talk, Y/N. Now.”
You watched as she scrambled, sleep and confusion still heavily weighing her down as Jake rubbed his face with his hands.
“There’s nothing to talk about Danny, we just—the room got cold last night, I guess. I was probably thinking I was huggin’ up on you…” She pulled the blankets and sheets away from her body, standing to walk into the bathroom. You sat back in the chair, an air of disbelief washing over you. The eye contact you made with Jake was short-lived, only a millisecond of time for you to read him.
He shook his head. “Swear, man. Nothin’ to explain.”
Jake never lied to you. Not once in your lives. He did lie for you though, quite frequently over the years. Lied for you to Ace, to teachers, cops, women, Teddy…the list went on. But the way he was acting right now, was the exact way he acted when he defended you. Except this time, it was her he was defending.
“Jake, just fuckin’ tell me—“
“Nothin’ to tell, Daniel. I’m sorry we—I’m sorry you had to see…that…but it really got fuckin’ cold in here. I swear, man.”
Y/N pushed through the door and began packing clothing into her suitcase.
“So you expect me to believe you guys were all up on each other like that because it got cold in here? Don’t fuckin’ insult me…”
“Danny, baby…I promise. It was a complete accident, it was a mistake. Nothing at all.” She brought herself to stand between your legs, pulling your face in to place a kiss on top of your curls. “Okay?”
You glanced behind her to see Jake still seated on the bed, his tongue searching around every corner of his mouth while he nodded along in agreement with her. You snarled your nose. “Okay. If that’s what you say.”
You slapped your hands to your knees, pushing her away by the hips as you stood to pack up. The room stayed silent while you all gathered your things, and you felt your heart rate slowly start to level out. You zipped your backpack closed and threw it over the back of your shoulder, grabbing the keys from the table. “I’m driving.”
You knew Jake wouldn’t argue.
As you took off down the open road, you cranked the radio up as loud as it would go, hoping that it would drown out your intrusive thoughts. They both seemed generally unphased, but the heavy tension told you otherwise.
Yes, you were upset. Yes, you were surprised…pissed off you found your girl wrapped up in your brother's arms in a way that looked entirely too close for comfort. Your mind was running itself ragged wondering what they did under the sheets last night after you fell asleep…you knew Jake probably had a hard time keeping his hands off of her, even in his sleep. Look at her…would you blame him?
But the rage had worn off. The initial surprise, the anger and the betrayal washed away as soon as you let yourself cool off. And what was left…?
…Not much at all.
No jealousy, no harsh envy, no gritting animosity toward her or Jake. You didn’t want to bash Jake’s head in, or spout a few choice words to her, either. Why?
She wasn’t yours, technically, but it felt like it. You hadn’t made any official “title” or commitment to one another, and though it seemed things could be heading that direction, you felt like you wanted to pump the brakes.
You switched hands on the steering wheel, letting yourself lean comfortably back in the bucket seat as you zoned in on the miraged heat rising from the asphalt ahead of you. Some Allman Brothers song loudly made up for the lack of conversation happening.
You weren’t gonna lie. The past few days with Y/N have been perfect. You were falling for her…hard. And she was quickly taking up more space in your heart than any other woman had taken up before. And it felt good, sure. But honestly, it didn’t feel right, and you couldn’t explain why. She was gorgeous, funny, spectacular in bed, and you meshed together with her personality more easily than you did with most people your own age. You felt that deep connection to her, your body constantly begging you to be near her and in her…and honestly, she was everything you would look for in a lifelong partner.
But that was just it, you weren’t looking for one. Not by a long shot. You enjoyed what life you had before she showed up, and to be honest, you weren’t quite done enjoying it yet, either. Lately, you had started to wonder if you were being overtaken by insane and debilitating lust, not its life-altering counterpart, the other “L” word.
You enjoyed her company and were positive that you’d formed a tight friendship with her, too, on top of everything else. But lately…
You couldn’t lie to yourself. You saw the way she looked at Jake, and the way he was when she was around. You had never seen him act like this before. It had been literal years since the man laughed hard enough that he couldn’t catch his breath. In the past week and a half, you’d seen him open up about Ace, let himself feel emotions that he’d buried for years…ones that you couldn’t pull out of him no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much whiskey you fed him. He was running the business more tightly than ever, he was actually eating, and to top it all off, he had let someone sing happy birthday to him. For the first time since Ace died.
Jake had buried so many memories of your childhood and young adult lives that you were unsure he remembered anything about them at all. He’d experienced a trauma that no kid should ever have to endure. You had, too…and you knew that. But there was no amount of penance you could give that would ever make up for what Ace and Jake had done for you. Ever, in a million years. You owed them your life, for taking you in and rescuing you from a life you knew was doomed from the time you learned how to change your own clothes. Without them, and Bubba, you would probably be dead in the street, or worse…
You’d been searching for the word to describe how Jake has been lately for days on end, and after scanning through your tiny mental dictionary, you’d finally found one that made the most sense.
The man was happy.
Finally…finally…he was…happy.
And you knew it was because of her. It had to be. She was unraveling him at every turn, tearing down his walls with such little effort you were almost jealous, after all the years you’d put in trying to do the same thing for him. All it took was a person who guided him a way he never thought about going, ushering him down an unknown path that he had no choice but to follow her down.
She’d come in like a late summer thunderstorm, misty rain and miles-off shimmers of lightning that slowly but surely turned into a full-on downpour, washing away every bit of the monotonous day-to-day that you and Jake had fallen victim to. She’d swept you off your feet in the flood, and carried you off to a place you’d never visited before. But now as your legs were finding the steady ground again, you could see that Jake was still fighting for his life, drowning deeper and deeper into her waters with every passing second.
—-
HER POV
Not a word had been spoken between the three of you besides Jake and Danny quickly planning the route on the map, and even then, they only said a few words to one another. You felt the tension, you knew Danny was upset, and you felt horribly, terribly embarrassed for letting yourself get wound up with Jake last night, then staying that way until the morning.
The look on Danny’s face as soon as you opened your eyes combined with the feeling of Jake physically pushing you away was still burned into your brain, and you weren’t sure how to deal with either one right now. Especially after what you and Jake did last night. You laid down in the backseat and let your eyes close, pretending to sleep so you didn’t have to endure the awkwardness of what was happening.
And also to let your mind wander…
Fuck, the feeling of Jake’s hands on your body was like licks of wildfire, each and every touch a shock of electricity that you felt somewhere deep, deep within yourself. The feeling of him felt new and familiar all at the same time. The way he took short little breaths when he finally got into the heat of kissing you, you could still hear them. Still feel the tiny puffs of air escaping his nose and falling onto yours as the tip of his tongue reached into your mouth. He held back, of course, not blind to the fact that Danny could have woken up at any given second.
But it was like a draw you’d never experienced before. One that spoke to you directly, telling you that if you didn’t keep yourself next to this man, there was no telling what the world would do to you.
Plant your roots, stay with me. I can’t give you much, but I will share everything I’ve got…
It was like he was speaking to you through something that wasn’t words. The feeling of being pushed close against him made your mind sputter off into a place that you didn’t want to stray from, like the wind that blew through it was as addictive as a drug. And you wanted to do nothing but breathe it all in, letting yourself settle into the wild habit that was Jake.
But Danny. Sweet, delicious Danny. He brought out another animal in you. Temptation was the devil, and he had lured you in in the most seductive way you’d ever experienced. Quick, messy, overwhelming and exciting…hooking up with him and developing some sort of feelings after the fact had you dangling by a string. He beckoned a beast inside you that you’d been keeping sheltered for years, an assertiveness in the bedroom that Peter never let you fulfill.
Did you have feelings for Danny? Of course, but they seemed fleeting. Surface-level and fragile and only still yet growing. Hell, a week and a half of time had passed in Joslyn, but it truly felt like a year. Maybe this town was an oddity where time was only a construct. But either way you hung it, the two men in the bucket seats in front of you had put you in a predicament for the ages. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t wholeheartedly and selfishly enjoying every single second of it.
You deserved a little selfishness after your shit life, right? Though you hadn’t endured half of the things that these two had, you had been through your share of terror and fear, doctors offices and tests and lies…questions with no answers, and a funeral with a box so small it only took two men to carry it.
But that was a conversation for another day.
After about an hour, Danny pulled into a service station to fuel up. You sat up tired-eyed, acting as though you’d been napping the whole time instead of distracting your bad memories with images of yourself tied up in unholy ways with the two of these men.
“Gonna go piss, be right back.” Danny said, slamming the door closed as he readjusted his white cutoff t-shirt across his back. His hair, a mess of a ponytail that laid long across his back, picked up in the breeze as he looked both ways before crossing the parking lot. Fuck, he is fine.
You heard Jake take a deep breath from the front seat. “Don’t gotta go?” You asked him, groggy.
“No.” He knew that if you did, you would have asked already.
“Hey look, I know we don’t have much to explain to him about this morning, and last night, but I think…I think we should talk about it at some point…” You tried to talk quickly before Danny returned.
“What is there to talk about? I know what happened, you know what happened…I said my piece last night, and it seemed like you were in agreement, only to find out this morning it was nothing but a mistake.” He spat, leaning his elbow in the open window. He scoffed and shook his head.
“Jake, you know it’s a difficult spot to be in right now…” you glanced forward, seeing Danny bounding back through the parking lot before pulling the pump. “It wasn’t a mistake, it was just—“
“An accident? Because it wasn’t an accident, Y/N…we fell asleep like that and we didn’t move…all night. We stayed just like that.” He whispered.
You swallowed hard, remembering the feeling of him pressed against you, his breath on the back of your neck as you drifted off into the most peaceful sleep you’d had in days.
“I told you, I love my brother. I’m not doing anything else to hurt him, I can’t. Don’t got it in me.”
You could tell he felt remorseful. Was probably beating himself up for letting his guard down so hard with you. But what these assholes both seemed to be forgetting was that you did not belong to either of them. At all. You were your own person, floating through on a breeze until your car was fixed.
Danny opened his door and started the car again, shifting into high gear and taking off back toward the hellhole that was Joslyn, where all of your problems seemed to be living lately. But also, right where it felt like the very beginning of your new future had been unearthed.
DANNY POV
“I’ll get it, you go inside.” You motion to Jake as he reached for his bag, fighting through the apparent pain he was still in. You could tell he was having trouble moving, as he couldn’t find a comfortable way to sit the entire ride home. You knew the tension was still thick, but it had a right to be. You were gonna keep it thick, until you wrapped your head around things. You were still pretty pissed off.
“Thanks.” He decided not to argue.
You slung both your bag and his over your shoulders as the three of you made your way inside the shop, finding everything just how you left it, thankfully. No burned buildings or stolen bikes as far as you could tell. Y/N scurried off to the bathroom as soon as you all made entry, wanting badly to avoid the confrontation any more than she had to. You wanted to go to her, tell her how you felt, be completely honest with her in all your feelings, but there would be a time for that. For now, you wanted to keep things fairly normal until you got your thoughts straight.
You threw your bag into the floor of your room before retreating back to the kitchen to file through the refrigerator. You pulled out a beer and some leftover grapes, deciding to make yourself a dinner of snacks. After a few minutes, Y/N emerged from the bathroom and grabbed a beer, joining you at the table.
“Hey.” She said, her voice small.
“Hey there. Wanna grape?”
Her hands plucked a few from the vine as you sat in silence, waiting for the other to speak.
“Danny, I still feel like you’re upset with me, from this morning, I—“
“Stop, Y/N. I’m not upset, I’m just…ah, I dunno what I am. It just. Wasn’t fun seein’ that first thing after I opened my eyes, y’know?” You said, taking a long swig of the foamy domestic.
Her eyes flicked down in embarrassment. “I know, it was probably infuriating. I feel bad, ya know?” She placed her hand on your knee under the table.
“I know. And Jake probably does too. Y’all just gotta let me be pissed off for a bit, ok?” You offered her a tiny smile. You were still mentally so far away from telling her that you hardly felt any jealousy at all, because explaining that to her might start a bigger fight than the one you were already in.
Just then Jake burst through the door, giving you both a glance before pushing through the shop door. “Goin’ to dinner with Bubba. I’ll be back sometime.”
“Okay, see…ya…” before you could get the words out, he was gone. Strange, him doing things without you.
You and Y/N exchanged confused looks before continuing in on your grapes and various other things from the cabinets. She was quiet again when she spoke. “So why aren’t you ripping my head off right now?”
Shit.
“Baby, I have a short fuse, and I can hold a hell of a grudge, but I really need you to drop it before I decide to get re-pissed, alright?”
“Okay, okay. Sorry. I just…hate it when people are mad at me.” She said, twisting the lid off her second beer.
“I ain’t mad at you. I told you that.” You raised your eyebrows.
There was another comfortable silence.
“You ready to get the hell out of Joslyn?” You finally asked.
She swallowed hard. “Yeah. I mean…no. I don’t really like this town, but. I don’t want to leave you…”
Lying through her teeth. You could already feel it…
You decided to play along, leaning into her so close that you could feel her breath on your lips.
“Why don’t you wanna leave me, baby?”
“C-cause. I like you. I ain’t done with you yet.” She said, challenging you.
Shit, she is internally struggling, too. The chemistry she had with Jake was undeniable, did she not see that? Or, did she just want to keep the chemistry between the two of you alive for as long as possible, too? You couldn’t blame her, the sexual tension the two of you had was unlike any force you’d ever experienced.
You felt her body stiffen, then soften as you let your hand climb up her bare leg. She let her lips brush against yours, sticking her tongue out just a little as she did so. “Ain’t done with me yet, huh?” You asked. “You say that like I’m a toy, Y/N. That you can toss to the side whenever you find somethin’ new to play with.”
You were letting your hand drift higher as you kissed her between your words, tiny nips and pecks at her grape juiced lips.
“So you want me to stop, huh? Stop playin’ with you?” By this point, her hand was on your leg, drifting higher and copying your movements on hers.
You shook your head as you let your body answer her, feeling yourself growing harder in your jeans. This stupid hold she had on you and your carnal needs was insane. You could hardly deny her. “No. Don’t stop, please…” you whispered against her lips, her fingertips gripping into the skin of your thigh.
She inhaled sharply, sucking air through her teeth as she fought to pull away. “Fuck, Danny. You’re supposed to be pissed at me.”
“I can still fuck you if I’m pissed off.” You quipped back, maybe too quickly.
Your words seemed to melt her into a putty, her body slinking into yours as she stood from her chair, taking her place on your lap.
You begged the jealousy to come. Pleaded with the heavens above to let you have some type of flashback to seeing her in Jake’s arms, watching as he held her, her barely-covered ass pressed up against him…but it never came. Fuck. Yeah, you cared. You cared a lot. Fuck him for that, honestly.
But her mouth on yours, her core pressed against you, her palms pulling at your hair…it was all physical. It was all just…really, good, sex.
—
HER POV
The rumble of the garage door opening woke you from your broken sleep. You could feel Danny behind you sleeping soundly, and you knew that Jake must have finally made his way home. You knew you shouldn’t go to him, but you found your legs slipping out of the bed, and creeping down the hallway with no hesitation. You had to see him. You had to make sure he was okay. That they didn’t find him again.
As you entered the kitchen you could hear him in the garage. You could hear the faint sound of a harmonica, and you remembered Danny telling you that he played. Part of you wanted to stay put and just listen to him play, but the other part of you wanted to go to him, and see it for yourself. You slipped out the squeaky shop door, pulling it closed behind you as you stood in the doorway. You quietly stepped forward looking through the cluttered garage for any sign of him, but there was nothing. The harmonica rang out again, and that's when you realized he was upstairs. You let your feet carry you up the cold metal steps and he of course heard you, immediately stopping his playing as he spun around in the old desk chair. You leaned against the metal railing bashfully as his eyes met yours.
“Did I wake you?” he asks, a slight slur to his words. It was clear to you that he had been drinking.
“No.” you lied.
“Why’re you up?” he asks, a glossiness coating his eyes.
“Couldn’t sleep.” you answer timidly as he nods his head and hums.
“Why you think that is?” he says, tossing onto the desk a dull, silver harmonica.
You walk over towards the desk, sitting on the side as he looks at your bare legs. “Dunno. Was worried about you, I guess. You just… left. Been gone a while.”
“Yep. Had some things to take care of.” he answers, his tone clipped.
You match his energy, it’s clear he is still pissed about this morning. “Okay, and yourself wasn’t one of them?”
He rolls his eyes as he sits further back in his chair, ignoring your concern.
“You’ve got cracked ribs, Jake! You need to be resting, or– or something! Not out, doing whatever you were doing! Drinking, obviously. Driving, too.”
“Why do you care...” he grumbles.
“Jake, you don’t mean that. You know why I care.”
“Do I? Do I know, Y/N? I know that you were pretty quick to reduce whatever this is down to nothing, the second you were questioned about it? I know that you think it was a mistake? I know that you just crawled out of his bed, again.”
“What do you want me to do?! Dump him on the spot?! You know I can’t do that, Jake!”
“Never said that. Just didn’t think you’d be back in bed with him so soon after.” he quips, pulling a cigarette from the box in his front pocket. He flicks his zippo, producing a flame and holding it to the tip of the cigarette. He breathes in a long inhale of smoke, letting it fill his lungs with a shaky breath. He blows it up over his head before letting his eyes meet yours again. “What, nothing to say?”
You stand, crossing your arms across your chest as you look at him. You’re pissed that he refuses to see your side of things. How could he expect you to just drop Danny like that? Realizing that this conversation is going to end badly, you turn around and begin to make your way down the steps.
“Y/N, wait…” he calls out, an air of defeat in his voice. He wasn’t looking for a fight. He was just looking for something. Any kind of confirmation that last night meant as much to you as it did to him. Reassurance.
You turn and look at him from the bottom step, seeing him standing at the top step. “Don’t– Don’t go. Just… Talk to me. I’m sorry. I know you can’t just end things like that. I don’t even know the extent of your situation with him. I’m just… You’ve got me all fucked up, and I don’t get fucked up like this.”
“Do you really think that I don’t agree with everything we said last night, Jake? Do you really think that I think it was an accident? A mistake?” you ask, as he slowly descends the stairs. “Was it not me begging for you in that bed last night? Is it not me standing in front of you right now because I couldn’t sleep not knowing where you were?”
“You mean it…” he asks, stepping down the final step to meet you. He slides his hands underneath your elbows, the cigarette still hanging between his fingers.
“Yeah, Jake. I– Can’t you feel how much I want you?” you breathe, his face only inches from yours. “I just need a minute to figure this out…I just need time.”
“You don’t have a minute! You don’t have time! Your parts will be here in a week, and then–” he stops, not wanting to say the words. He stomps out his cigarette as he runs his fingers over his mustache.
“This is all just so fast– I didn’t plan for this!” you cry, feeling your eyes well with tears.
“Plan for what, Y/N?!” he asks, raising his voice to meet yours.
“To fall for you this quickly, Jake!” you shout, letting a single tear roll down your cheek. His hand comes up to brush it away as he bites his lips together.
“Oh.” he barely squeaks out.
“Yeah. So I just need a minute…To sort this out. To figure this out. It’s not cut and dry, even if we want it to be.” you counter.
He lets his hand rest at the curve of your neck, pressing his body against yours as you lean against the metal railing behind you. “You remember what I told you. I’m not fuckin’ around with you, Y/N.” his voice deep as his lips murmur against yours.
“I’m not either.” you whisper.
“Good.” he breathes, pulling away abruptly and walking deeper into the garage. You can almost feel the lingering presence of his lips on yours as he disappears behind a car. You follow him as he walks to the garage fridge, pulling out two beers and popping the caps.
He sees you round the corner and holds a beer out to you, “It’ll help ya sleep.”
You take it from his hand as he walks past you, stopping just shy of Valor and shaking his head.
“You know, I can’t even look at this thing without picturing him fucking you on it.” He says, turning to face you.
“What? He told you?!” You chirp, shocked.
He snickers, shaking his head. “Didn’t have to. I saw the imprints in the dust on the hood.”
You swallow nervously. “Oh.”
He raises his brows to you in acknowledgement as he sips his beer. “Mhmm, how was that baby?”
“What?” you ask, leaning against the hood.
“You heard me. I said how was that?”
You swallow nervously and as you look at him you see the darkness growing behind his eyes. You’re trying to decipher if he’s mad, curious, or maybe both. You lick your lips before responding, letting a smirk cross your lips. “Pretty fuckin’ good, if I’m being honest.”
He moves toward you, setting his beer on the rolling stand next to him. His arms cage you in against the hood of the car as he runs his nose up your neck. “I’m better.”
“You think so?” you ask, craning your neck to let his lips brush against your skin.
“I know so.” he snaps.
“So prove it.” you challenge, feeling his tongue travel up your throat.
“What’s wrong baby? You not get enough tonight?” he pauses, sucking at the skin of your jaw. “He not give you what you needed?”
“He–” you start, the words leaving your brain as his warm hand slides up your hip and under your shirt, resting on your waist.
“Sorry, what was that? Didn’t quite hear you.”
You swallow heavily as you try to formulate your words. “He– Y-yes. He did…” you stammer out, his fingers gripping into your skin.
“I don’t believe you.” he growls, lifting your hips and placing you on the hood of the car. “Where were you…about here?”
His eyes flick up to yours, commanding you to answer.
“Yes…”
His hands move to cup your knees, sliding slowly up your thighs. They stop as his thumbs reach the seams of your panties, running them against the skin as he presses forward into your chest.
Your breathing has stopped, having his hands so close to where you want them and you can tell he knows it.
A smirk crosses his lips and before he could say anything else, you interrupt. “Where did you go tonight?”
“Why?”
“Because I wanna know. Tell me Jake. Don’t lie to me.” you breathe.
“Told you I won’t lie to you. I keep my word.” he answers, letting out a deep breath. His thumbs are still circling at your pantyline, and you can tell he wants to feel more of you than he is letting on. “Went to eat at the diner with Bubba. Knew he’d be there. Needed to talk to ‘em.”
“Bout what?” you ask, feeling the roughness of his fingertips on your skin.
“You have a lot of questions…” he snickers, running his hand up underneath your shirt. You mourn the loss of his fingers where you want them so badly, but revel in the fact that they are still on your body. His fingertips glide along the underside of your tits, so delicately you almost wonder if you’re imagining it.
“Maybe I just like to hear you talk.” you press, arching your chest into his.
“Yeah? You like my voice…” he growls, letting his voice drop a little deeper than normal.
You hum in response, feeling his hand come up to grasp at your chest. “Fuck, yeah you do, don’t you.” he says, lowering his face to yours. His lips ghost over your ear, “Like to hear me real close, tell you all the things I want to do to you…”
“Please…” it leaves your lips in a whisper and you can feel him growing beneath his jeans.
His lips trail down your jawline, as his hands pull you in tightly to his waist. “Would talk to you for hours if it meant I got t’keep ya this close.”
“We aren’t even that close.” you breathe.
His hands move to your hips, harshly grabbing the skin and pulling you close enough to feel his belt buckle pressed to the front of your panties. “How about now, baby? That close enough for you?”
“If I say no?”
“Think this is close as it gets without takin’ our clothes off.” he counters, his hands still gripping into your hips. His eyes flick to your lips, and they part almost as if they knew he was looking.
He smirks and slides his hand down your leg, pulling away to grab his carton of cigarettes from his pocket. He places one between his lips, pulling his zippo from his pocket and flicking it to life. He lights the tip, inhaling the smoke and blowing it up into the air.
“Smoke?” he offers, raising a brow and putting it to his lips again.
You nod, reaching your hand up to grab it, but he stops you, pulling the cigarette from his lips and pressing his lips to yours. You feel the hot smoke fill your lungs and your brain can't decide whether to inhale or kiss him back. Logically you know you should breathe but the only thing on your mind is the way his lips feel on yours. He pulls away, letting you blow the smoke away, before bringing the cigarette back to his lips for another drag. “More?” he asks.
You nod, this time grabbing his head and pulling his lips to yours. You suck in the musky smoke, letting his breath fill your lungs once more. You feel his teeth pull on your bottom lip as your hips jerk forward into his belt buckle. The smoke makes its way back through your lips as you exhale quickly from the sensation.
“You like that?” he breathes, taking one last drag.
“Yeah…” an airy breath leaving your lips.
“Do it again.” he commands, pressing his lips to yours. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling yourself to press against his belt buckle as the smoke enters your mouth. You roll your hips against the metal as your lungs burn, his lips fiery hot against yours.
A whine leaves your chest as you blow the smoke up into the rafters, the buckle of his belt grazing across you in just the right way as he presses it forward into you. You lean back on your hands, the shiny black paint of the hood beneath your fingers as he rolls his buckle into you again. Your nipples are pebbled through your thin t-shirt, and your panties soaked from the friction he’s providing you. A soft whine leaves your chest as your hips buck forward again.
Suddenly he’s pulling your hips forward, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively as he pulls you off the hood of the car. His hands grip into your ass as you wrap your arms around his neck. Your lips connect with his as he carries you through the garage. Your hands wind into his hair as he presses you against the wall, holding your body with just the pressure of his hips.
“Let’s go.” he breathes, barely removing his lips from yours.
“Where.” you ask, letting your eyes meet his.
“My room.” he pauses, pressing his lips together. “If I’m gonna get you off, it’s gonna be the right way.”
Your breath catches in your throat. “But you said–”
“I’m not gonna fuck you.” he breathes, pressing his lips to your throat. “There’s other ways to make you cum, and I intend to try every one ‘til I find out what makes you unravel.”
“But Dann–”
“I know. You’ll have to be quiet for me. Can you do that?”
“Yeah…” you breathe into his lips.
“Good. I knew you’d be a good girl.” and in seconds his mouth is on yours again, his tongue exploring every inch of yours. His hand leaves your ass as he opens the shop door, closing it behind the two of you as you make your way through the kitchen. You move silently, knowing Danny is still asleep, the only sound being Jake’s boots against the laminate floor.
As he steps into his bedroom, he shuts the door behind him, locking it before dropping you down onto the bed. “Tell me you want this.”
“I want it.” you answer a little too quickly.
He pulls his shirt over his head, unbuckling his belt as he sends you a smirk. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want you. I fucking want you.” you beg.
His jeans fall to the floor, and even in the darkness of the room you can still see the dark purple bruising painting his ribs.
“Wait, Jake. Your side, are you–”
“I’m fine. Hardly feel it.” you can tell he’s lying, but you’re impressed that he doesn’t show it.
“Lay down, quit worryin’ ‘bout me.” he barks, snapping his fingers.
A fire lights in your chest and you position yourself on a pillow, rolling to your side as he crawls into the bed next to you. He pulls you towards him, mimicking the same position you found yourselves in last night.
“Been thinkin’ about this all day.” he whispers, sliding his hand back under your shirt. “Needed you like this again.”
You roll your hips onto his hardening bulge pressing a kiss to his neck. You feel the groan that leaves his chest.
“Fuck…be patient for me baby.” his voice is ragged, and you can tell he is fighting his own urges.
His hand slides up to grasp at your chest, twirling your hardened nipple between his fingers.
“Can I kiss you? Here…” he asks, pinching the sensitive skin.
“Please. Yes…” you whine, pressing your hips to his again.
He lifts your shirt over your head, tossing it to the side as he slides further down your body, attaching his wet lips to your nipple. You stifle back the moan begging to escape your lips as his hot tongue swipes across your sensitive flesh.
“Jake…” you breathe, arching yourself into his mouth.
He pulls away, pressing kisses to your chest as he holds you firmly in his grip. “Yeah, baby…”
“Please touch me.” you beg.
He lets his lips press a kiss to your stomach before moving back up towards your face. He presses his lips to yours, luring you into his mouth further as his hand travels over the front of your panties.
“You always this wet baby? Seem to be around me…” he asks, smiling against your lips.
“Guess it shows how bad I want you...”
“Yeah? Want me to touch you?” he asks, even though he already knows the answer. His fingers fall into the creases of the damp fabric, teasing you through the thin cotton.
“Yes…” you whine rolling into his hand.
“Easy…Easy… I’ll give you what you want, but you have to stay quiet, remember?”
He presses his middle finger to your covered clit, a gasp leaving your lips at the contact.
“God, you’re so fuckin’ sensitive…Those sweet little noises, fuck, no wonder he’s addicted.”
“S’not like this with him…” you pant.
“It’s not? This just for me?” he asks, letting his fingers slide over the hem at the top of your panties.
“Yes… I can’t help it. I can’t stop it…”
“Good. Don’t.” he answers, letting his fingers move below the hem. The rough tips slide over your mound, and through your folds, straight into the wetness growing by the second.
“Oh, fuck…” you can hear the shock in his voice. “Baby, you’re so fuckin’ wet.”
“It’s you… You did this.” you breathe, feeling his digits start to move over your clit.
He knows he’s found the spot when your breathing stops and your grip on his bicep tightens.
“Right there, baby? Right there good?” he pauses, memorizing the feeling on his fingers. “Feels so good doesn’t it… You’re so wet, I know it feels good.” He kissed you again, letting your quiet moan hit the back of his throat. “I won’t stop. Gonna make you feel so good. Wanna feel you shake.”
“Jake…” your voice cracks as the surge of electricity jolts through your body.
“Yeah, there we go. That’s what I want. Tell me how it feels.” he demands.
“Good… So good. I– Your fingers…” you stammer, unable to form a sentence.
“Mmmhm, and how about this...” he says, sliding his middle finger inside of you. Your body jumps, feeling his warm finger inside of you, your nails digging into his skin.
“Fuck, more…Please more.” you beg.
“I’ll give you more baby. I’ll give you more, just gotta–” he pauses, pulling his finger away from your clit, and replacing it with his thumb. He brings his index finger to your entrance and slides it to join his middle. “Fuck, you take it so good. So smooth, you feel like fuckin’ velvet. I am aching to be inside of you.”
His thumb makes tight circles over your clit as his fingers sweep inside of you. Jagged breaths are leaving your chest as his lips suck at the skin of your throat. You feel his nose drag up towards your ear, his sultry voice swirling into it. “You feel so fuckin’ good around my fingers, Y/N. So tight and warm… Want you to cum for me… You want to cum on my fingers, baby?”
“Want you inside me…” is all you can manage to squeak out, his fingers relentless in their pursuit of your orgasm.
“And I will be. I promise you I will be. But not now. No, now you’re gonna cum on my fingers, and you’re gonna say my name when you do it.” he growls into your ear, his voice drawing the orgasm out of you whether you want to let go or not.
“Come on, baby…” he whispers, his breath hot on your skin. “Give it to me. Show me how good it feels to have me inside you.”
You feel the rush wash over you as you clench around his fingers, the most pitiful whine leaving your lips as the high takes over.
“My name.” he breathes, his one request swirling through your mind.��
“Jake…” it’s barely audible before his lips crash to yours, his tongue tangling with your own as he works you through your orgasm. His fingers slow and his thumb stops as you continue to kiss him, hot and desperate and wanting. You want to live in this moment with him, the release with him better than anyone before him. Anyone who will come after him. And as he holds you close to him, you think he might feel that too.
“Jake, please…I want you…” you beg, snaking your hand down to his fully hard length.
“You’ll have me cinnamon girl. You will. Can you be patient? Can you wait for me?” he asks, pressing his forehead to yours.
“I can try.” you manage, stroking him over his boxers.
“Want you more than anything…” he confesses, his eyes locked on yours.
“I want you too…” you whisper, feeling his lips press to yours one more time before he pulls away.
He reaches over and grabs your t-shirt, tapping your hip to sit up in the bed. He hands you the shirt to pull over your head, before pulling your panties back into place.
“Baby, you have to go back…” he urges, swiping the hair from your face.
“I don’t wanna leave you…” you admit.
“Don’t want you to either. But you have to.” his eyes are defeated as he props up on his elbow.
“I don’t sleep good with him like I do with you.” you confess.
“I know, baby. Just try.”
You nod and pull yourself from beneath the sheets, devastated to leave the warmth and comfort of his arms. You crawl out of the bed, and stand, his hand grabbing yours to pull you back to him.
He kisses your lips one more time, letting them linger, silently begging you to stay. “Goodnight, cinnamon girl.”
“Goodnight, Jake…”
And as you sneak through the door and into Danny’s room, you take the place next to him, curling into his side, realizing that suddenly his arms feel just a little less homey than they once did.
—
DANNY POV
“That Oz again?” You rolled out from underneath the old Cutlass, brushing your hands across your chest as you looked for Jake. He sat perched on your step stool, lighting up a smoke as he ran his hand over his hair.
“Yep. Bad news. Next fight is tomorrow in Branson. Said he just got it together…short notice so he understands if we can’t make it happen.” He explained, letting the smoke rise into the air.
“Fuck. Branson ain’t too far, though…what d’ya think?” You asked. “Need the money…but I know you’re still hurtin’.”
He leaned down on his elbows. “Yeah, that’s the real bad news. Oz ain’t lettin’ me fight until I’m healed.”
“What? Seriously?” You rolled off the creeper and sat on the dirty concrete, making a mental note to sweep up your area soon.
“Seriously. Told me I could come but I’m not gettin’ in the ring. Said he only fights his guys when they’re in top shape. Makes sense, I guess.” He growled.
“…But we’re not even in top shape…” you laugh.
He stood from the stool and stomped his cigarette out. “Apparently we’re in better shape than we think. Imagine if we actually started training and workin’ out…we could probably make it to those big league fights. Thousands on the bets.”
You let your hands fall to your knees. “Fuck, you’re right…” The two of you shared a look of intrigue, silently agreeing that maybe you should drag out Ace’s old weights from the back room and actually start trying to bulk up. With the heart and skill you both already possess, you could be unstoppable…
“Anyway. Think we should leave late tonight and drive through so we get there in the morning. Maybe we can actually do somethin’ fun. Lots going on in Branson.” He suggested.
You stood from your spot on the floor and leaned on the Cutlass, giving Jake a side-eye. “Whoa, you actually want to do somethin’ fun? Who the fuck are you and what did you do with my brother?” You playfully rushed him and caught him with a right hook to the shoulder.
He hissed you away. “Fuck you.” He laughed. “Just thought it be time we start enjoyin’ our lives, huh?”
You couldn’t help but feel warmth crawl over you, seeing him happy like this. Wanting to go enjoy himself instead of being stuck in this hell hole with nowhere else to go but down. “Hell yeah, it is.” You agreed. “Let’s go dancin’.”
“I’m not goin’ fuckin’ dancing, Daniel.”
“Why! Hot chicks in short skirts…bahbah.” You popped your lips as you mimicked dancing with a girl wrapped around you. “Sounds like a party to me…” you tried to get him to reason.
He gave you a look of disgust, waving you off as he rushed to the back. “I’ll drive but I’m not dancin’. Gonna go tell the queen of the castle to get packed.”
“Oh here.” He turned back and tossed you a set of keys through the air. “I changed all the locks and gave Bubba a set. Thought we should lock the place down a little better this time.”
You grinned as you caught them in your hand, stuffing them into your pocket. You laid back down on the creeper, suddenly getting the overwhelming feeling that you needed to have a talk with Jake. Ask his advice. Feel him out…maybe then you could get a real grasp on where he was with Y/N before you made any rash decisions. But you knew one thing…he’d never once called any of the women he dated the Queen of the Castle.
—-
“And how come we can’t take Valor?” Y/N asked as the three of you piled into the truck.
“That car sticks out like a sore thumb. People know about it, easier to follow into a burger joint parking lot and dent the fuckin’ hood.” Jake answered. “Too many people on the lookout for us. Ol’ Brutus here blends in a little better.”
“Brutus?!” Y/N squealed. “Hell of a name for a truck, Jake.” She yawned hard as the three of you took off down the road, the bleak cover of night making you feel a sense of peace.
“You sleepy, baby?” You asked her as you tussled her hair.
“Yeah, it’s 3 am, Danny.” She laughed as she wiped a yawn tear away.
You pulled her shoulder to lean down across your lap. “Go back to sleep, babe. I’ll wake you when we get there.” You explained. You pulled your knees together to make her a pillow, letting your fingers brush across her hair and cheeks as you tried to soothe her back down.
Then there it was. Instant rage rolling off of Jake. You knew it, you could feel it. You knew exactly what that felt like after living your whole lives picking up on each other’s cues. He was jealous.
But what could you do?
The situation is what it is. That talk with him definitely needed to happen. And soon.
—
BRANSON, MISSOURI
A couple hours later you were pulling into the motel you’d mapped out with Jake, noticing that it was fairly clean and nice. It felt weird to finally be able to afford to stay in places like this, but then again, anything was better than Wanda’s.
“Y/N, hey, wake up. We’re at the motel.” You shook her body a little to startle her. The sun was just peeking up over the horizon, and you knew that the three of you would probably just go crash back into bed as soon as you made it in the room.
Jake came back a few minutes later with the keys, motioning to a row of doors right in front of where you’d parked. “All they had left were doubles. No fightin’ over the pullout this time.” He pulled his bag from the bed of the truck as Y/N finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
“Hear that, baby? Livin’ like kings this trip.” After grabbing your bags from the back, the three of you entered your room, and the air conditioning hit you in the face. All you wanted to do was strip down and curl up, sleeping the morning away until it was time for lunch.
You tossed your bag to one of the beds and ripped your shirt over your head, launching yourself onto the mattress. You turned and watched Y/N hesitate for just a split second of which bed to choose. There it was again.
She dropped her bag on to the bottom of the bed you’d chosen, slipping her shoes off as she pulled the sheets back. You held your arms out wide for her to crawl into, feeling Jake’s piercing eyes boring into you from the other side of the room. She wrapped herself around your body as you pulled her in close, feeling her hot breath drift across your neck.
“Jake, set an alarm?” You mumbled as your hand drifted up underneath Y/N’s shirt under the covers, wrapping around her body slowly as you let your hand find her tit, giving it a slow and sensual squeeze. You felt her exhale an almost aggravated breath. “Don’t wanna miss continental breakfast…” you bucked your hips into her, squeezing her nipple. You continued to talk completely normally. “Unless you guys wanna go find a lunch place somewhere later? I also noticed there’s a pool in the back, it’s gonna be hot as fuck today.” Your hand squeezed her again, then you moved it down her back to grip her ass, pulling her partially spread legs into your groin.
“Y/N, you bring your bathing suit?” You asked her, as if your fingertips weren’t touching every part of her body you could get your hands on in the most nonchalant way possible.
“Mhmm. Yep. I did.” She breathed, giving you a demeaning look of fuckin’ slow down.
You sneakily slipped your hand to her front, cupping your hand over her heat, rolling your palm in waves against her. She moaned just a tiny bit, and quickly covered her own mouth. “Good. Maybe we can go for a swim later. Probably be good for your ribs, Jake. Don’t you think?” You asked him as he pulled his shirt over his head, giving you the most jealous, beading eyes he could muster.
“Yeah. Whatever, sounds good.” He buried himself in the covers and turned his back to you as the room fell silent, save for the little breaths Y/N was trying to stifle as your hand continued the waves. Her eyebrows furrowed at you, her aggravation obviously about to boil over, but her eyes also full of that same look you loved…her fuck me eyes.
You finally removed your hand, laughing to yourself as you turned your back to her completely. “Sleep tight, Miss Thing.”
—-
The alarm clock on the table had a horrible sound, a low buzzing vibration that sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
“Fuck, turn that thing off!” You yelled as you rolled over top of Y/N to reach for it. Your hand hit Jake’s as you both slammed your palms over the clock at the same time, effectively silencing it. “Shit, I could sleep through the apocalypse but that son of a bitch could wake the dead.” You complained as you rolled back to your side. “Sorry for squishing you, Y/N.”
You hadn’t noticed it, but the two of you had been wrapped up completely in one another before you rolled across her, her legs wrapped around yours and your arms circling her neck. Fuck. It had happened naturally.
“It’s okay, I haven’t been able to sleep, really.” She mumbled. Jake pulled himself from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom.
“So you’ve just been laying here cuddled up with me, listening to me snore?” You jested, planting a kiss to her cheek.
“Yeah.” She breathed. “Just wanted to feel you for a little bit…” her tone was almost sad. Almost longing.
You stared at her face for a second as she tickled her fingertips down your arm, tracing your tattoos. “Y’know, I’m really gonna miss you, Y/N. When ya leave.” You admitted in a whisper.
Her eyes climbed back up to meet yours. “You are?”
“Yeah.” You were honest. But only halfway. What you really wanted to say was I know you’re into Jake, and I know he’s into you. He’s never been as happy as he has been these past couple weeks. I’m gonna miss you, miss us, when you leave for Atlanta. But I’m really gonna miss you when you inevitably give yourself to Jake…and I have to watch it happen…
“Y/N, you’ve been the most fun adventure I’ve had in many, many years. I’ve never bonded with someone so fast. Had more fun with someone, found someone so easy to talk to.” You admitted honestly again.
“Danny, why are you talking like you’re telling me goodbye?”
Her eyes somberly searched yours as you brought in a quick breath to answer her. Just as you were about to let your feelings fly, the bathroom door shot open. “Let’s go, free breakfast is only for another 30 minutes. Then I’m jumping in the pool with or without you guys.”
—-
The pool wasn’t crowded, and you, Jake, and Y/N had plenty of space to swim around and relax unbothered by kids or crowds. You floated on your back in the water, letting the sun blaze down onto your face. “Wish I could drink a beer right now.” You mumbled to no one as the water filled your ears, deafening you to the rest of the world for just a second. You started thinking about your fight tonight, trying to hype yourself up knowing that you wouldn’t be getting the same amount of money without Jake fighting, too. But it would be something. More than you came with, at least.
You eyes skimmed the pool to Y/N, looking sexy as ever in her brown and white striped bikini. The ties sat just right over her hips, and you tried not to stare as you admired her top half. You had lost count of how many times you’d undressed her with your eyes. You sighed hard, feeling that same nagging feeling of wanting to feel Jake out and see where his mind was with Y/N.
You sat up in the cool water, noticing that Jake and Y/N were floating separately the same as you, enjoying the peace of relaxing without a care.
“Jake, feel good to float?” You asked him over the sound of the summer birds.
He was floating on his back in the water just as you had been, his arms butterflying back every so often to keep himself afloat. “Fuck yeah. My chest doesn’t feel heavy and I can take a whole deep breath. I think I really do have some cracked ribs.” He sighed heavily. “Wanna put a pool in the junk lot?”
You laughed. “Don’t think we could afford the water bill.” And that was a fact.
The three of you continued floating around, laughing and talking and basking in the sun. For the first time in a long time, it felt like you didn’t have a care on earth. No worries, no responsibilities…just you and Jake. And the girl you both were feigning for.
Well, were feigning for.
It was getting later and later in the morning, and you knew that it was almost time to head inside, plan out your dinner and await the time to leave for the fight. You felt a quick rush of nerves and jitters at the thought, but quickly shook them away by splashing yourself in the face, letting the cool water soak your features.
Tonight’s fight was going to be held in the basement of a bar and dancehall, definitely unlike the other places you have been lately. When you’d asked Jake if he wanted to go dancing yesterday, you were completely oblivious to the fact that you’d be fighting in the downstairs of the perfect place to do just that. You’d give it to Oz, he definitely kept the authorities guessing if they ever were to tail him on the whereabouts of these fights.
“I’m gonna head inside and take a shower, you guys don’t have too much fun out here.” Y/N swam her way through the pool towards the steps, adjusting the material of her bikini bottoms as she ascended. She turned to glance at the two of you as she stretched the fabric over her ass, knowing good and well exactly what she was doing.
“We still have an hour or so babe, sure you don’t wanna stay a little longer?” You winked at her, suddenly realizing that you were going to be alone with Jake.
“An hour alone to shower in peace? That’s a no-brainer, Danny…” she giggled as she grabbed one of the striped towels from the lounge chairs, wrapping it around herself as she disappeared into the building.
When she was finally out of sight, you noticed Jake was floating in the water again, his hands rubbing over the light bruising on his ribs as he breathed. You could count on one hand how many times Jake actually showed he was in pain; once when he broke his fingers playing football a kid, when he had a tire explode on him in the shop one day, and the time he fell out of the old tree at recess and broke his arm. Y/N was there for that one. But you knew he was still hurting, and you felt glad Oz wasn’t letting him fight tonight. Because you knew damn good and well he would try to.
You walked to the edge of the shallow end, leaning on the concrete as you built up the courage to have a serious conversation with him. He bobbed up from the water, running his hands over his face as he joined you at the edge.
“You ready for tonight?” He asked.
“Ready as I’m gonna be…” you shook your head, taking a breath. “Hey, care if I ask some uh, some advice?” You swallowed the word down, the both of you not used to being very serious with one another.
“Sure, yeah.” He leaned in closer.
“So I uh…I guess I was just gonna ask what you would do, if you were in my shoes…” you went on, trying to word it correctly. You suddenly felt your face get hot.
“Y/N. She’s really great, right?” You asked, tapping your fingers on the concrete.
He jumped back. “Yeah, she is…”
“Right. And…I really like her. Things are great…almost kind of too great, sometimes. Shit with her is really easy. And…” you sighed, swallowing hard.
“…And?”
“And I’m almost second-guessing if I want…that…right now. I mean, I could see things getting serious with her. And that would be good, but. I’m almost…hesitant to push it further. I don’t know if I want somethin’ serious right now… do you know what I mean?” You watched as Jake’s face went through a hundred different emotions.
He nodded quickly as he processed. “Yeah, I mean I get that…”
“I could see myself being with her for a long time, is what I’m saying. And honestly Jake, that terrifies me. I…I’m too young for that. She’s amazing and we work so well, but I just. I don’t want to give her the wrong idea and lead her along if that’s what she actually wants from me…you know?” You added.
He nodded again, turning to lean his back to the edge.
“I just wanted to see what you would do if you were where I’m at. Would it be stupid to let her go? Or should I just…be honest?”
He licked his lips as he turned to face you. “Daniel, you’d be a complete fuckin’ idiot to let her go. Like handing the mega millions lottery ticket to a stranger. She’s…different. But, I think you and I both know she ain’t the type to bullshit…she gives it honest, and I think she would appreciate it if you gave it honest back. That make sense?”
He’s right. You can’t keep lying to her… you had more respect for her than that. And respect wasn’t something you gave often.
You shook your head as you agreed. “I’m just scared I’m gonna break her heart. Fuck. Been a week and a half and we’re already talkin’ so damn serious…” you laughed.
He shrugged his shoulders up as he hopped from the pool, sitting on the edge as he winced away the pain. “Sometimes shit moves quickly, and that ain’t your fault. Time doesn’t care about our feelings. But, I really don’t think you’ll be breaking her heart…”
There it was. Of course he would add that. Because he knows. Her heart’s already drifting elsewhere.
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. No sense in lyin’ to her. Hell, she leaves soon anyway, huh? All this will be nothin’ but a memory soon anyway, won’t it.”
That one earned you an immediate sullen grin from him, hearing the words rolled out like that. She was really leaving soon. And he was falling for her even harder than you had ever thought about falling, yourself.
He pulled himself up from his seat, and lowered his sunglasses back down over his eyes.
“Yep. Nothin’ but a memory.”
——
JAKE POV
“Fuck, Daniel. He’s huge…” you whispered in Danny’s ear as he got his hands wrapped. Danny’s opponent tonight was a man with a reputation, one that you’d heard about a time or two in conversation with the people that surrounded you at these things. You’d started to try to not turn a deaf ear to the quiet conversations around you; you’d learned it could be beneficial to hear the gossip if you were going to be involved in it.
“They don’t call him The Sasquatch for nothin’.” He whispered back as you both watched Danny’s opponent walk into the common room by the ring. It was a silly name, upon first hearing it, but once you actually saw the man connected with the name, it made sense. He was tall, brutish, and covered in body hair. Had about ten years on you and Danny, and he walked like he had weights tied to his feet. His caveman-like stature preceded him, that much was for sure.
“Daniel, son. Don’t let this son of a bitch psych you out.” Oz was suddenly in your faces, cigar hanging between his teeth. “He’s good, he’s good, don’t get me wrong. But his footwork lacks, you hear me? He’s got all that weight and all that reach, but the man don’t know how to hop. Footwork, footwork, you hear? He’s top-heavy, remember that. Get underneath him, he’s got stumps fer legs, but his knees is weak, heard me?” Danny continued to nod along as he listened to Oz talk, taking in as much as he could as his anticipation grew. God damn, you wish you could get in the ring tonight…
“Only way you’s gonna get this win, Daniel, is to blindside him. Find his weaknesses, I know you can read it, and read it quick. I see how you size ‘em up when you get in the ring. You’re smart, Daniel. Don’t quit doin’ that. Stay underneath him, got me?” Danny continued to nod.
“Got it, Oz.” He breathed, huffing out profanities as he jumped around, getting in his head.
“Two before you. I’ll see yeh up there.” Oz said as he disappeared in his signature waft of smoke.
Danny glanced to you and then to Y/N who stood leaned against a pole, arms and legs crossed as she sipped her champagne. He pointed his wrapped hand to her. “You want me to win this one for you?”
She perked up and nodded. “Yeah, I do. And you better fuckin’ do it, too.” Her smile reached from ear to ear, and just the sight of it made your stomach flip.
“Ms. Y/N!” You heard a yell from across the room. It was Oz, signaling with one hand for Y/N to come to him. The three of you made eye contact, feeling uneasy about letting her go wherever Oz was beckoning her to.
“Y/N…” you said as she passed by you.
“I’ll be fine, Jake. S’just Oz…”
You watched as she waltzed toward him, him taking her under his arm and walking them back toward his makeshift office for the night. Danny immediately looked at you with worrisome eyes, tilting his head for you to follow after her. So you did. Before you could catch up, Oz’s office door was slamming in your face.
What the fuck?
You paced for a few minutes, unable to go to Danny because he was being prepped to get in the ring. Your heart was pounding. You trusted Oz, but still the thought of her being out of your sight for even ten seconds was enough to drive you up the wall.
You stood right by Oz’s door and watched the first two fights, Danny sending you questioning looks the whole time. All you could do was shrug. As soon as the second fight finished, one of Oz’s guys rapped his knuckles on the door, startling you from your trance. Within seconds the door flung open revealing Oz and Y/N. She didn’t look hurt, scared, or harmed at all…but more so intrigued and refreshed.
You immediately pushed through the small crowd that had gathered by his door to get to her.
“Hey, what the hell was that? You’ve been gone forever…” you grabbed her shoulders, her arms, her hands…
“I’m fine, I’m fine, Jake…” she tried to play it off. “Let’s go watch Danny.”
She walked away from you and your hands, straight toward a cleared area back off from the ring. You followed closely behind her through the crowds, a few familiar faces eyeballing you as you did. You heard the announcer loudly call Danny’s name, followed up by The Sasquatch and a loud, roaring bellow of cheers and yells from the men surrounding you. They were obviously all betting on him.
You locked eyes with an anxious but determined Danny as he realized Y/N was finally safe beside you. The room seemed to bellow with sound as you heard the music from the disco upstairs turn up to its highest volume, signaling that the night had only just begun.
“Look at you, Shirley Temple. You ready for the fuckin’ smoke, huh, little boy?” You heard Sasquatch start the trash-talking right off the bat.
The bell sounded, and Sasquatch lurched his giant, towering body over Danny, using his height to his advantage to land a hit right to Danny’s side.
Danny counteracted with an open-hand slap to his ear, temporarily deafening him for long enough to lay a kick to his knee, causing him to stumble but not fall. The man had at least six inches of height on Danny, but Oz was right. He was slow. Danny jumped and jabbed crunched punches to his face and sides with ease, and moved around more quickly than Sasquatch could even begin to.
“Aw, little pretty boy, what a sissy. Your momma teach you how to hit? Let’s fuckin’ see it again, dipshit…”
“Right hook, Daniel! Right hook!” You yelled as you patted your palms to the padded ring floor. The whole room was like a loud drone, and the fight looked fair, given their differences in size.
The two of them continued into the second round, the crowd riling up with every hit delivered. Danny never faltered, and you were truly impressed with his endurance.
Danny suffered a quick hit right on the nose, followed by a headlock maneuver that brought him down to his knees. Your stomach dropped as you watched Danny’s eyes flutter open and closed, his jaw clenched tight as he pulled on Sasquatch’s arm with everything he had. The blood was running from his nose at a steady pour.
“Don’t forget to breathe, pretty boy! Huh? Take a breath, now! Can ya??” Sasquatch said through his bloody teeth. This guy is a jackass.
Suddenly, you felt Y/N press herself into your side, obviously feeling worried for Danny, too. Her hands were threatening to cover her eyes.
“Danny! Breathe!!” She yelled. Things seemed to be moving in slow motion.
Blindside him, Danny. Just like Oz said.
Like he was inside your head hearing your every thought, Danny suddenly shifted his body so that his leg was wrapped around the other man’s, pulling him in such a way that he released his hold on his neck so that Danny could lay three quick hits directly to his temple and ear.
Sasquatch faltered sideways, the blows to his ear and head so severe and unexpected that he collapsed to the floor. Danny seized the opportunity and rushed him, making sure that he would stay down once he got there.
“1…2…3…4…5…!” The announcer counted off as Sasquatch rolled on the floor, holding both sides of his head.
“Yes Daniel! Yes!” You yelled as he got up and paced the ring, watching his opponent writhe.
“6…7…8…9…10! Winner!” He yanked Danny’s arm into the air, sending the crowd into a fit of boo���s and screams. No one expected that to happen. And you were willing to bet a lot of men just lost a lot of money.
Y/N turned to you and screamed in celebration, and if you didn’t know any better, you would say she wanted to kiss you right there in front of everyone.
Danny rushed off the ring with Oz and pushed through the crowd, letting a man take a look at him and address his injuries. You grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled her along behind you as you made your way to Danny.
“Yes, Daniel! Caused a fuckin’ fuss tonight!” You yelled in his ear. His nose was finally slowing from dripping, and he was generally in an overall healthy-looking state. “Oz, I thought you said that man was winning fights?!” You teased.
Oz gave you a side-glance. “He was, child. Daniel here just broke his streak, hahaaaaa!” Oz grabbed Danny by the shoulders and shook him. “Proud of you, kid! Proud of you!” The dim spotlight twisted and blinded you for a second as Oz grabbed your shoulder, too, smiling with his cigar in his teeth. “Proud of both of you!” You looked to Danny who was returning a shared surprised look, the two of you smiling so hard you could hardly stand it.
Proud of you.
It was a phrase that you and Danny didn’t hear growing up. Not even when you passed your drivers test, got your first touchdown, or even when you actually got an A on your report cards. Never. Not even once.
And now, a man that you’d met merely weeks ago was showing you more pride and compassion than Ace ever had. A man you hardly knew. A man that saw your potential and put his full trust in the two of you without hardly even an audition. That was something. That was faith.
“See me in my office, boys! Ms. Y/N, we’ll talk soon, eh?” Oz said over the drone of the particularly large crowd. And just like that, Oz was gone again in his sweet-smelling puff of smoke.
—-
“$750!” Danny yelled as he whipped the stack of cash against his hand. “Have we ever seen this much money at one time in our lives, Jake?!”
You shook your head, an immense feeling of pride for Danny washing over you. “No. I don’t think we have.”
He handed you the wad of cash to keep safe while he got cleaned up and dressed, stripping down to his underwear and wiping down with a wet towel while you and Y/N stood by.
“I’m proud of you Danny.” She murmured with a sweet smile.
He returned it. “Heard that twice now in the past hour. Could get used to it. Hey, let’s fuckin’ celebrate, huh?” Danny stood from his seat and grabbed you across the shoulder. “You said it yourself, Jake. You wanna have some fun tonight?” His eyes shot toward the ceiling as the bass boomed above you.
“I said I’ll go, but I ain’t dancin’.” You replied, recalling your conversation from yesterday.
You watched as Danny glanced to Y/N. “That’s just what he wants you to think. Think we can get him to cut a rug?”
“I said I am not dancin', Daniel. You speak English?” You turned and shoved him playfully into the wall at the back of the room. You never had been one to have fun on a dance floor, but you were interested to see what all was going on upstairs. At least have a drink or two…watch Y/N strut around in that short red dress she’d decided on wearing…it was going to be hard keeping your hands off of her tonight. But after your conversation with Danny earlier, you were feeling a little more at ease. He liked her. But he didn’t like her like you did. When the words had left his mouth earlier in the pool, you’d felt a sense of relief so intensely you could have hugged Danny. You knew he had to have been able to tell you were into her, and she you. He isn’t stupid. But…was your talk in the pool him giving you silent permission?
You watched as Y/N led the way through the dimly lit hall, opening a heavy metal door to lead back out into the common area. Danny slapped his hand across her ass, earning a yelp and a squeal from her as he snickered through the door she held open. But he stopped short once he came into the light of the room.
“Fancy footwork you got there, sonny boy.” A voice echoed off the wall. The Sasquatch. “Where’d you learn all that? Your momma teach you?”
Danny backed off and pushed Y/N behind him, straightening up his stance. “Learned it all on my own. What’s it to you? Need some pointers?”
Sasquatch threw his head back and laughed, his mess of gold chains sparkling across his neck. “Pointers. That’s funny…listen here, you little son of a bitch.” He was stepping forward, backing Danny into the wall with a finger to his chest. He dwarfed Danny, and dwarfed the hell out of you, too. “I don’t fuckin’ lose fights, you hear? Don’t think I didn’t notice your little cheap shot that won you the bout. You think I’m fuckin’ stupid, eh? Fuckin’ cheatin’ right here in front of god and everybody and thinkin’ you can get away with it?!”
You felt your blood boiling as you pushed Y/N behind you, too. Danny used his thumb and pointer finger to pick up Sasquatch’s finger from his chest like it was a dirty cloth. Danny laughed through his teeth.
“Sasquatch. Actually wait, it’s Darrell, right? Darrell. First of all, please don’t put your hands on me anywhere except inside of that ring. Second, I didn’t use no cheap shots on you. The fight was fair, the ref called it. I beat you, fair and square. And third…” you slowly stepped forward to place yourself right behind Danny’s shoulder. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use such foul language in the presence of a lady, sir.”
Darrell gritted his teeth together as his eyes traveled to you, then to Y/N. You could smell the heavy cologne he was doused in now that you were in close quarters with him. You raised your eyebrows in question to him.
“Hah, didn’t even see the little doll cowered back there in the corner. Bring your friend to back you up in case things went south, Daniel? S’cute…” he whistled a loud wolf whistle as his eyes scanned up and down Y/N. “Shoooowee she’s sure a pretty one. Which one of you she belong to?”
Suddenly you felt Y/N pushing her way out from behind your protective wall. “Actually, Darrell, I don’t belong to either of them. I don’t belong to anyone.” She walked slowly and placed herself directly in front of him, craning her neck straight up to meet his eyes. “It’s awfully presumptuous of you to assume Daniel here cheated in the middle of a fight that a hundred men were watching, two referees, coaches…who, if I’m not mistaken, were all betting on you to win, am I right? Don’t you think if Daniel had won with a cheap shot they would have had somethin’ to say in regards to that? Hm? But they didn’t, did they? No one else accused him but you. So I suggest… that you take your sore loss and rejoin your groupies over there in the corner. I’m not sure Oz would appreciate you harassing his men in such an accusatory fashion, do you?”
Darrell licked his lips as he sized her up, now looking at her with a different kind of lust in his eyes. “Hahaha. You boys got yourselves a feisty one. I like it. I like it.” He snuffed a huff through his nose as he stepped back, spitting directly onto the floor in front of him. “See you upstairs? I’m sure you want to stay for the festivities, hm?” He turned in a flash as his coattails flew behind him.
“What in the fuck was that, Y/N?!” You laughed when Darrell was finally gone.
“Who in the hell is this?! Who are you? Our new bodyguard?!” Danny was holding his stomach he was laughing so hard.
Her face turned beet red. “No, I just don’t like men talkin’ to me like I’m some ignorant piece of arm candy, that’s all.”
The impression you felt, that you both felt, at her confrontation was enough to make your pants a little tighter; seeing her stand up for not only herself but for you and Danny…shit.
“You’re not ignorant, and you’re not arm candy. Though, you did turn every single head as soon as we walked in here tonight.” You added as you made your way back down the hall, you and Y/N in tow behind an excited Danny.
You leaned your face in close to her ear, her sweet smelling perfume and cinnamon candy suddenly overtaking your senses. “You look beautiful tonight, Y/N.” You pulled away as you walked, giving her a sweet wink. She let her fingers graze yours as you walked, her fingertips warm on yours as they gave a quick squeeze. Being in her presence was making you feel worse. And by worse, you mean so, so much better. Positive. Giddy. And happy.
“Let’s go back to the motel and change. I can’t roll up into a disco in sweats. Actually, Y/N, you’re staying in that, right?” Danny asked before approaching Oz for your goodbyes.
She sighed as you reached Oz’s door. “I guess, but only since you won tonight, Danny.”
—-
“I thought disco died in ‘79.” You yelled over the bumping bass as the three of you made your way to the entrance.
“It did. But I think it’s just different now…dyin’ out slowly.” Danny barked over his shoulder. You weren’t gonna lie, you felt a little excited to be going out and doing something like this for a change. Beat sitting at the same bar with the same people drinking the same thing all the time. You’d thrown on your oldest pair of Levi’s that weren’t covered in grease, a plain white t-shirt, and slicked your hair back into a low knot. Tucked an old red bandanna in your back pocket. Nothin’ too fancy.
Danny, on the other hand, had decided to spruce himself up a bit. Brown slacks with a dark green button up…left a few of the buttons up top undone to show off his toned torso for any lady that cared to look his way. And of course his signature long silver chain.
This was cleaned up, for you two. Anything besides oil-stained jeans and cutoff old dirty t-shirts.
Then there was Y/N. Still clad in her tight red dress that hit right at her mid-thigh, her black leather jacket full of patches and holes. Her hair perfectly sprayed and lips red as a maraschino cherry. She looked dropdead sexy, and everyone was looking.
Danny paid the cover charge to the man at the door, and the three of you stiffened up as you entered the graffiti-covered door. The colorful lights were spinning, the flashes of white and red bouncing off the carpet-covered walls. The people were jam packed wall to wall, some dancing on the dance floor, some seated at the tables surrounding. The music was loud but not deafening, and you could smell the heavy smell of marijuana mixed with Marlboro reds floating through the air. You unknowingly kept Y/N close by, her hand secretly gripping yours as you walked through the sea of people to the bar.
“Vodka soda with lime, a Stroh’s and…Y/N?” Danny leaned in to the bartender.
“Oh um, rum and coke, please. Thank you.” She licked her lips as she answered Danny.
When your drinks came, you all turned to find a place to settle, deciding on a table in a corner everyone was ignoring. You wouldn’t mind getting a little toasted tonight, but you knew you had to drive. And Danny deserved to celebrate.
“You gonna dance Jake?” Y/N slipped her leather jacket over her shoulders and let it fall into the booth behind her, giving you a sultry smile as she sipped from the tiny straw of her drink.
You shook your head, leaning in close enough across the small round table that you could smell her rum-soaked breath. “Nah, probably not.” You raised your voice. “That’s Daniel’s forte.”
“Is it, now? I wouldn’t have ever thought that, Danny.” You watched as her lips wrapped around the straw, her pucker so perfect it made you dizzy.
He shrugged. “I guess so. If the right song comes on, you might even catch me dancin’ right in the middle of the shop.” You both laughed as you caught the visual. You carried on with more conversation and people watching before the three of you had downed your drinks.
“I’ll get round two. A double this time?” You offered, not really waiting for an answer from either of them before you rushed away to try and maneuver your way to the bar again.
When the drinks were finally in hand, you pushed your way back through the crowds to find that Y/N and Danny had taken to the dancefloor, swallowed up by the sea of people reveling in the music. You decided to sit back and relax, sipping on your beer while you watched everyone in their elements. You caught her eye a few times, peeking over Danny’s shoulder to make sure you hadn’t left. I’m not going anywhere, baby…
As her glass became emptier, her body became more loose, moving in all the right ways as she shook her hips and swayed along to the sounds. You were waiting for Danny to touch her, feel her up…and though he did, he didn’t touch her nearly as sensually as you would think two people who were sleeping together would be touching. Maybe what he said earlier was finally setting in. He impressed her with his dancing skills, though. That was one thing he could always win the ladies over with. He was confident and comfortable, just like he was in the ring. Always had his head about him but looked perfectly natural while doing so. And you envied him horribly for it.
He let his guard down a bit, and you noticed he was leaning into his liquor just a little. He’s getting handsier…and she’s letting him. He twirled her and twisted her around, gyrating himself into her hips while he guided her along to the song.
While his hands traveled down her back, over her hips and down to the curve of her ass, you could tell her body language was responding in a way that would either have the two of them breaking apart to join you back at the table, or rushing out the door and leaving you in the dust. She succumbed to his movements, letting his hands do whatever they pleased. Fuck. What the fuck.
You tilted your beer back, chugging just a little to catch on to a tiny buzz. You felt the jealousy beginning to rise up in your chest as you watched his hands travel, his mouth graze her neck, her smile tighten as she bit her lip…
Just when you thought you couldn’t watch for another second, the song ended, and the two of them were waltzing their way back over to the table. You breathed a quick sigh as you made eye contact with her, your jaw clenching together at the sudden madness you felt. You knew she knew that wasn’t her best idea.
“Ah, thanks for the refill, Jake.” Danny breathed as he plopped into the booth, sliding in so Y/N could fit beside him. “Got a little hot out there, didn’t it, Y/N?”
“Looks like it. It’s freezing in here and you both managed to break a sweat.”
Y/N gave a dismissive laugh. “Danny just really knows his way around a dance floor, that’s it. Right Danny?” She tried to play it off. “Plus, no one’s telling you you can’t ask me to dance next, Jake.” She challenged, pressing her tongue to her bottom lip. “Hm? Warm you up a little bit if you’re cold?”
You shook your head as you pushed your thoughts away.
“I gotta pee.” She said, hopping back up from her seat and pulling her dress back down over her thighs. “Watch my drink?”
The two of you watched as she made a show out of walking to the bathroom, each and every head turning to look her way as she passed by them.
“God, I’m glad you wanted to come out tonight. I think we needed this, don’t you?” Danny said as he clinked his glass to your beer can.
“Yeah. Me too.” You were blank as your mind was still clouded with the images of Danny’s hands all over her. But you had to push them away. He still was the one sleeping with her…
“You gonna try to score somethin’ tonight?” He asked as he bent his straw back over the edge of his glass, taking a long drink of his more vodka than soda. “Plenty of choices here…”
You shook your head. “Might. Looks like you’ve already got your mind set on who you’re doin’ tonight, anyways.”
He choked on his drink a little. “Ah, Jake. I don’t know. I meant what I said in the pool earlier. I’m still very attracted to her, but… I don’t think I want to take this much further than it has already come. Do I wanna keep fuckin’ her? Yeah. But I’m not gonna do it just to get mine anymore. I was listening to you when you said she’s no bullshit…”
You bit your cheeks in as you processed his words. “So until I can sit her down and talk to her for real… things are just going to have to happen as they happen. But… I don’t think I’m gonna sleep with her anymore. Besides…look over there. Your two o’clock.”
You turned nonchalantly in your seat, seeing a cute girl in a blue skirt eyeballing Danny from across the room. “She’s been making eyes at us since we got here.” He nodded his head in such a way to call her over to the table, and within a few seconds, she was leaned down in front of both of you, holding her hand out for you to shake.
“Hey. I’m Melissa. Never seen you two in here before.” She said as she shook both of your hands.
Danny cleared his throat as he crossed one leg over the other. “I’m Danny, this is Jake. We’re just visiting, passing through. Thought we’d stop in and see what all the loud music was about.”
“Yeah, it’s a fun place but can be too much fun if you know what I’m sayin’. She twirled her gum around her finger as she flirted. “I saw you dancin’ out there, you’re pretty good.”
“Thanks, thanks.” Danny’s cheeks went pink as he tilted his drink back again.
“And you, why ain’t you out there, huh? You shy or somethin’?” She pressed, placing her hand on your shoulder.
“Ah, not really my thing.” you gave her a half smile.
“Well why don’t ya come on, I’ll teach ya?” She had moved her hand down your arm, grabbing onto your hand forcefully as she tried to jerk you from your seat.
“No, no… I’m fine here, thanks.” You argued.
She pulled your arm. “Ah, come on!”
“He’s uh, he’s actually here with someone, Melissa. But, I’m not. Why don’t you show me a thing or two?” Danny was already standing from his seat, pulling Melissa toward the dancefloor again as he turned and shot you a wink, glancing toward the bathrooms with a curt smile.
Did he…? Did he just…?
You were dumbfounded as you watched as Danny and Melissa got close, getting covered up by the crowd on the floor. You knew Danny better than anyone. And you knew that he just gave you some type of wordless go-ahead with Y/N. But how did he…? And why?
You knew it wouldn’t be long before Y/N would be returning from the bathrooms, and you weren’t quite sure what her reaction was going to be.
“Where’s Danny?” You heard her voice from behind you, sliding into the booth across from you again.
You swallowed hard, turning your line of vision to the congested dance floor. She followed your eyes, finally letting them land on a now fairly drunk Danny, being hugged and danced on by a cute girl in a blue skirt. Y/N flipped her body back around, her mouth held open and her gaze staring at the table in front of you. Uh oh.
“What’s the matter, you pissed off he’s dancin’ with someone else?” You asked her, for some reason finding the whole situation a little comical.
“No.” She barked quickly. “I mean… I was gone for 5 minutes… and he already…”
You snickered under your breath, crossing your arms across your chest. “You said it yourself, Y/N. You don’t belong to anyone… no sense in bein’ jealous.”
“I’m not jealous, Jake. He can dance with whoever the hell he wants. Even if he came here with me…” Her words trailed off at the end of her sentence as she realized what she was saying. She pushed her hair behind her ear as she tilted the rest of her drink back. You let her pout for a minute as she radiated with jealousy, only popping her eyes up every now and then to see if they were still dancing.
Finally after a few minutes of silence, you couldn't hold it in any longer. You let a loud chuckle escape your lungs.
“What’s so fuckin’ funny, Jake?” she bit.
“You.”
“Me? Why am I makin' you laugh right now?” her tone was pointed. She had no idea how cute she was when she was mad.
You leaned on your elbows across the table, licking your lips as you brought your mouth to her ear.
“Because you weren’t the least bit upset that Danny wasn’t the one burying his fingers inside you the other night, were you?” You let your nose graze the shell of her ear as you felt her neck stiffen. “Begging me to fuck you, tryin’ to stifle your moans so he wouldn’t hear you while you drenched my hand…” You pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before backing away to your seat. “And now you’re jealous he’s dancin’ with another woman?! Tsk tsk.” You clicked your tongue as you relaxed back.
“Fuck off, Jake. Wait, you didn’t fuckin’ tell him…”
“No, I didn’t fuckin’ tell him, Y/N. What, do you think I’m stupid? He would have cracked my ribs even worse…”
“Then why the hell is he… You know what? Nevermind.” She flitted her hand through the air as she dismissed the subject, obviously feeling a little defeated at the fact that he moved on from being her dancing partner so quickly. You did feel a little bad, she was probably embarrassed.
Alright, Jake. Turn on the charm. Show her you’re here.
You stood from your seat just in time as a slow song finally came on, holding your hand out palm-up for her.
Her soured expression suddenly softened as she saw your hand, then looked to your face for confirmation. “What–”
“Just come dance with me, Y/N.” you said sweetly. “Please?”
“Jake, I…don’t know… I thought you didn’t–”
“I don’t. Often. But I will for you…” You admitted, twiddling your fingers to remind her your hand was still waiting.
She slipped hers into it, soft and sweet as you pulled her up, leading her to the center of the floor to wrap one arm around her waist, the other holding her hand up beside you. You began swaying to the old Bee Gees song, getting lost in the reflected lights of the spinning disco ball above you. You noticed her frown turn up into the sweetest smile as she finally let you lead her, pulling her in a little more closely so that her chin was on your shoulder. God she felt good. She felt so incredibly good. You knew you could live a thousand years having her right by your side, and never once tire of the feeling of her hand grasped in yours, her arm across your neck.
“And tomorrow, if I’m here without your love
You know I can’t survive
Only my love can raise you high above it all
Don’t throw it all away, our love, our love…”
You sang right into her ear along with the sweet ballad, holding her closer as you let the words resonate. You felt her arms tighten around you as you continued swaying, feeling her heartbeat bouncing right off your chest.
“You sure do sing to me a lot, Jacob.” she giggled into your ear. “First the Stones, now the Brothers Gibb…I think I’m starting to fall in love with the sound of your voice.”
You intertwined your fingers with hers as you spun her around, finding her once again and pulling her in close. She had no idea what you would do for her. Falling in love with your voice? You’d talk to her all day long, if she wanted you to…
“If that’s what keeps you from going to Atlanta, I’ll sing to you every single day. Long as you want.” you admitted it to her openly, suddenly not caring that you had probably said something you shouldn’t have.
She pulled back, her face fallen into some type of expression you couldn't place. Fuck, you’d said too much.
“Jake…you…”
“Hey guys! Want another round?” Danny was suddenly almost between you, shaking his glass half-full of melted ice. He brushed past, pulling Y/N’s hand along as he led her back to the table to collect her empty glass. Her eyes didn’t leave yours as you stood planted in your place on the dance floor, letting the mob of people finally push you off of it.
When the three of you were finally back in your seats with fresh drinks and awkward silence, Y/N decided to break the ice.
“So Danny, where is your little friend? She decide she didn’t want to dance with you anymore?” You could tell the alcohol was getting to her.
“Ah, she had to leave. Scored her number, though. Don’t know when we’ll ever be back here, but it can’t hurt to keep in my back pocket, right?” he let out a careless laugh, hitting a nerve with Y/N. You watched her expression as she quickly cleaned it up, remembering her exact words from earlier. She didn’t belong to anyone…she has no ground to stand on to be upset with Danny for that.
You knew what was going through her head. Things had gotten terribly complicated.
You found yourself letting your hand fall to her knee under the table, silently caressing her thigh as she caught your eyes again. Just a little reminder that you were still here. You squeezed at the muscle, then let up, letting your fingertips tickle over her heat quickly before pulling away.
“You guys ready to get out of here?” You asked, suddenly feeling the need to get out of the suffocating room and somewhere you could get Y/N alone again. Her eyes boring into yours was making your palms sweaty.
“Yeah, let’s roll.” Danny had begun slurring, sneaking in another drink during his escapades with Melissa. The three of you stood and made your way back to the exit before being cut off by a tall, burly man surrounded by four or five smaller men by his sides.
“Goin’ somewhere, pretty boy?”
“Fuck. Darrell, didn’t we already talk enough today?” Danny said nonchalantly.
Darrell cracked his knuckles. “I told you, you son of a bitch… I don’t lose fights. Now you come up into my bar and expect to leave without even a scratch? Hah, I don’t think so.”
You felt the tension rise in the room, now you were suddenly all surrounded by people who didn’t know you from Adam, but definitely knew Mr. Sasquatch, here. You were horrifically outnumbered.
“Y/N, go get in the truck.” You instructed her, handing her the keys. “Lock yourself in.”
“Oh, so this is your bar?” Danny challenged. “I should have known by how it smells just like your god-awful cologne.”
Y/N ran past you and out the door. “You sure do have a lot to say for someone who’s a drifter in my city, you fuckin’ cheater. You know what happens to kids like you? They don’t fuckin’ make it home without a cracked face, that’s what.”
Danny held up his hands as you felt the crowd around you spread. “Alright then, asshole, let’s settle it. Again. Right here. Unless you wanna go to the parkin’ lot so you don’t have a nosebleed on your own fuckin’ carpet.”
“Is there a problem here, Darrell?” a loud, familiar voice beckoned. “Was there an issue with my referee’s final call?”
Oz.
Darrell slinked back like a kid being scorned in church. “Nah. Just thought I’d let this kid know who’s city he’s in…How to fuckin’ act.”
“He’s a paying guest in your bar, you fuckin’ idiot. He’s paying you money. And you want to bully him because he broke your streak? Seems pretty goddamn backward to me, Darrell. Shut the hell up and let the kids go home, will yeh? For the love of Christ…” Oz held his hands up in the air as you watched Darrell and his guys back away from you, giving you threatening looks until all of them had dispersed back into the crowded bar.
“Ya alright, kid?” Oz was suddenly by your sides.
“Yeah, fine, Oz. Thanks.” Danny shook out his shoulders. “Guy’s a real piece of work, ain't he?”
“He’s an idiot. Always has been. But he’s more bark than bite. Don’t let him get to ya. Anyways, you get Ms. Y/N back home safe. And I’ll be callin’ ya soon, ya hear? Go home and rest up, heal those ribs, Jacob. Big money to win, boys. Big money.”
—-
The truck ride home was fairly short, and all you wanted to do was get back to the hotel and change out of your uncomfortable jeans. Danny had gotten fairly intoxicated, sticking with the doubles after you insisted on the first one.
“Oh my god! Let’s get in the poooool again!” He yelped over the radio.
“Daniel. It’s 1am. And the pool is closed.” You reasoned as you coasted down the road toward the hotel.
“Ah, come on, Jakeeee! We’ll sneak in. It’llbe soooo fun. Don’t be a lil’ wuss.” Danny slurred.
“Yeah, Jake. Don’t be a wuss!” Y/N parroted back, her hand clenching your upper thigh and squeezing it as she spoke. It was too dark in the cab for Danny to even notice. Her hand crept higher and higher toward your dick, until it landed directly on top of it. Son of a bitch, now you couldn’t say no.
You shot her a devilishly disapproving look, silently scolding her for being so sneaky. She returned it with a cheeky smile as she began to move her hand around on you. “We leave tomorrow, Jake. Back to the old grind…don’t you want to have a little bit more fun before then?” She asked. Even in the darkness you could see her fluttering her eyelashes at you.
Yeah, she was absolutely going to be the death of you if you weren’t careful.
Danny clapped his hands together. “So it’s settled!”
You pulled out your cigarettes, lighting one up to take the edge back off. You were positive your night had only just begun.
HER POV
Still feeling the rush of alcohol swirling through your veins, you let a wave of adrenaline wash over you as you pulled the string on your bikini top. The strings hung at your sides as you pulled the rest of the wet fabric over your head, letting your bare chest free. Jake and Danny’s eyes snap to you, both of them trying to decide whether to stare or look away.
“What boys, you’ve never seen tits before?” you laughed, pulling the string on your bottoms, and letting them slide to the ground.
“Y/N!” Jake scolds, looking around at the empty pool deck.
“What, Jake?” you laugh, seeing a fire light behind his eyes.
Without another thought you step off the edge of the pool and plummet to the bottom of the deep end. As you float beneath the water a muffled commotion disrupts your field of view, and the sight of Danny’s perfectly nude body joins you beneath the surface.
You shoot up to the top, wiping the water from your face and in seconds he is joining you, swimming towards you. He grabs your waist and pulls you towards him, letting you wrap your legs around his waist as he moves to more shallow water.
“Not scared like someone…” you say playfully, splashing water towards Jake, who is still standing in his swim trunks at the edge of the pool.
You watch him cock a brow at you, as he huffs a laugh. “You think I’m scared?” he asks, pulling the string on his trunks, and kicking them to the ground. Your breath catches in your throat at the sight of his bare cock. Sure you’d felt it in your hand, but seeing it was a whole other thing.
He smirks as he looks at you, jumping into the pool and floating up to the top. Danny released his grip on your hips, swimming back towards the deep end of the pool as Jake swam towards you. He didn’t come nearly as close as you wanted him to, but as he swam you watched him eye your chest again, sending you a look that could have melted you into a puddle. You feel him floating behind you as you spin to look at him.
“Don’t challenge me, baby…It won’t end well for you.” he growls, only loud enough for you to hear.
“C’mere, Y/N…” you hear Danny call from across the pool. You send Jake a smirk and swim over to Danny, letting him wrap you around his waist again.
“What’re you two talking about over there, hm?” he asks, his wet waves hanging around his face.
“Nothin’, he’s just bein’ Jake.” you laugh, leaning back to let your upper half float in the cool water.
“Fuck, you look good like this.” he groans, letting his hand come up to cup your chest. “Have half a mind to take you right here.”
“Mmmm…right here in front of everyone?” you taunt.
“Fuck yeah. Right here.” he answers, pulling your core to his stomach. You grin at him and push off of him, swimming on your back towards Jake.
You twist yourself in the water, letting only your head break through the surface as you look for Jake, who is leaning against the edge of the pool, grabbing his cigarettes and lighter from the edge of the lounge chair. As he lifts onto his toes you see the roundness of his ass as it peeks out of the water, and you swallow nervously. He lights the end of the cigarette before tossing his lighter back to the chair and turning back around to face you. His arm is stretched over the edge of the pool and he puffs on his cigarette as you swim closer. As you approach him, the pool grows more shallow and you find yourself able to walk towards him, fully revealing your wet body to him.
You hear a gentle whisper of ‘fuck’ leave his lips as he pulls the cigarette away. You reach up on your toes and dry your hand on his towel before plucking the smoke from between his lips.
“Mmm, no protest tonight?” you ask, placing his cigarette to your lips. You position yourself in front of him, where he has no choice but to look at you.
“Don’t think Danny would appreciate it much if I kissed this smoke into your mouth over and over like I did the other night.” he answers, raising a brow.
You blow the smoke out between your lips, your heart beating as you remember the feeling of his lips on yours.
“I didn’t think you’d appreciate that I just felt his dick rub against the inside of my thigh.”
He grabs the smoke from your fingers and pulls it to his lips. “That’s the last time he’ll have you like that, I promise.”
“Is that right?” you ask, a challenging lilt to your voice.
“Remember I said don’t challenge me?”
“Hmm, must have slipped my mind…” you taunt as you swim back over towards Danny.
“You okay over here, you’re awfully quiet…” you ask, feeling his hand meet your waist.
“You tired?” he asks.
“Mmm, not really… the drinks and the lights at the club have me wide awake.” you answer.
His brow furrows as he searches for what to say.
“It’s okay Danny, we can go in. I promise. I’m totally good to just watch late night TV in that comfy bed.” you smile.
“You promise? I know I’m gonna crash.” he asks, his voice sincere.
“Yes. I promise. Let’s get out of here.” you say, pushing off of him and swimming to the stairs. You pull yourself up out of the water and step out onto the pool deck, swiping your bikini and grabbing your towel from the chair. You can feel Jake’s eyes on you from across the pool and you watch as he swims over to the stairs, pulling himself out of the water. Again your eyes travel straight to his dick, and you can’t help but wonder if he wants you to look at him like you want him to look at you. You feel Danny’s arm wrap around your shoulder as he pulls you back towards the room, but as you walk you peek over your shoulder for one last glance at Jake, who of course, is staring right back.
—
“S’all yours babe.” Danny says, running a towel through his wet hair. He leans over, resting his weight on his hand as he presses his lips to yours. You lean into his kiss, but it feels different. Suddenly you find yourself comparing his lips to Jake’s. The way Danny kisses you is just a little rougher than Jake’s kiss. You pull away quickly, pushing the thought from your head.
“You gonna ice your face?” you ask, gathering your clean clothes to head to the shower.
“Eh, honestly? No. I’ll be okay, just need to sleep it off.” he offers with a cheeky smile. You roll your eyes and head towards the bathroom, as Jake digs through his bag for dry clothes.
“Be out in a minute.” you reply, shutting the bathroom door behind you. You strip out of your wet bikini, letting it fall to the floor as you twist the handle in the shower. As you stood beneath the steaming water you couldn’t help but let your mind wander back to Jake, so smug as he dropped his swim trunks, revealing himself to you in the same way you had to him. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him if you tried. The tattoos that littered his skin in places you hadn’t yet seen. You wanted to see them closer. You wanted to know what they meant. You wanted to touch them.
You found your heart beating faster as you pictured him. All of him, in a way you hadn’t seen him yet. You swallow heavily as you rinse the conditioner from your hair. You want him, no. You need him. You could almost imagine the way he’d feel ins– No. Stop. You can’t.
You flick the shower handle, and grab a towel from the rack as you step out. You dry yourself quickly, wrapping your hair in the towel and pulling on your panties. Your t-shirt hangs long on your body, barely covering your ass. Your skin was still a little pink from the sun earlier in the day, providing you with a little extra warmth than you were used to, and a few freckles on your cheeks.
You step out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, finding the room dark, and a faint glow emanating from the TV. Danny was slung across the bed, asleep with his arms over his head. But as your eyes flicked over to the other bed, you found it empty. He must be outside.
You rub the towel through your hair, and toss it on the bed as you dig a pair of sweatpants out of your bag. You pull them over your legs and run your brush quickly through your hair as quietly as possible. You know you shouldn’t go out there. You should get in bed with Danny and go to sleep, but something is calling you out that door, and for some reason you can’t help but to follow it.
With a look over your shoulder you’re twisting the door handle and quietly opening the hotel room door, finding Jake sitting just outside. The cherry of his cigarette glowing a bright orange as you take the seat next to him on the bench. You pull your knees up, wrapping your arms around your legs before turning to look at him.
“Feel better?” he asks, his voice scratchy from the smoke.
“Yeah. You gonna rinse off?” you ask, grabbing the cigarette from his lips. He sends you a smirk and shakes his head.
“Yeah, probably in a little while. Just needed to come out here and clear my head.” he says, crossing his ankles in front of him.
“Oh. Do you want me to leave?” you ask, handing him back the burning cigarette.
“No.” he answers quickly. “I– I just…” he pauses, blowing out a deep breath. “I couldn’t see you with him after I saw you, like that, knowing I can’t have you.”
You nod your head. “I know.” you pause, watching the taillights in the distance. “I was thinking about you…Just now.”
“Were you?” he asks, a smug grin on his lips.
“I’ve never…seen you like that, either.” you say, letting your eyes meet his. He flicks the cigarette to the ground, and lets out a deep sigh. He purses his lips together and looks at you.
“You wanna go for a drive with me?” he asks, a hint of nervous energy lacing his voice.
“Now?”
“Yeah, I’m not feelin’ tired just yet, and I don’t think you are either.” he answers.
“Okay.”
“Go get your shoes and grab my keys.” he demands, standing from the bench and offering you his hand. He helps you up and sends you on your way, quietly sneaking back into the room to find Danny completely passed out. With your shoes in hand and his keys hanging from your finger you silently open the door and rejoin him out front.
“Where are we gonna go?” you ask, sliding your shoes on.
“Don’t know. Just around, sight see a little. Saw a place on the drive in that seemed interesting.” he answers, opening his truck door. You watch him lean over to the other side, pulling the lock up and popping the door open for you.
You slide in and shut the door, as he starts the truck, backing out of the parking lot and pulling onto the main road. The radio is on a late night station, a staticy jumbling of Bob Seger coming through to break the silence between the two of you. You take in the sights, the bright flashing signs of the casinos and clubs still packed full of people, your hands folded in your lap even though they are desperate to touch him.
“Tell me what you were thinking about in the shower.” he asks hesitantly, almost as if he couldn’t bear the answer.
You look over to him, his arm slung across the steering wheel as he guides the boxy truck through traffic. “Your tattoos. The ones I’ve never seen.”
“Any one in particular catch your eye?” he asks, turning off the main road.
“Um, you were too far away… I couldn’t see…” you answer nervously.
“I don’t think that’s what you were looking at, baby.”
Your silence answers for you. He knows exactly what you were thinking about.
“You looked at me too…” you countered, not ready to admit it.
“Goddamn right I did. Been thinkin’ ‘bout it since.” he answers matter-of-factly.
“You have?”
“Fuck yeah.” he breathes, his hand reaching for the volume knob on the radio. “Shit, I love this song.”
It was something you’d heard maybe once or twice. It was familiar but you couldn’t place it. Bluesy and gruff, it was perfectly Jake in a way you couldn’t explain.
He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, mouthing the words to the song as he stared at the road ahead of you. You were making your way out of the city and into the dark, winding mountains of Missouri, but you weren’t afraid. You were with Jake.
“C’mere…” he says, urging you to slide across the bench seat. You move across the leather seat until you’re at his side, letting him rest his right hand on your bare thigh. He let out a content sigh at the contact, letting his finger tips squeeze into your skin.
It’s not long until he is pulling off onto the shoulder, into a parking area of a lookout spot. The spaces are empty, leaving the two of you alone with only the twinkling lights of the city in the distance. He turned off the car and settled back into the seat, his hand returning to your leg as you turned your body to face him. You let your head rest against the back glass as you looked at him, letting your fingers drag across the top of his hand.
“Did you have fun at the club?” you asked, your voice a little lighter now that you don’t have to compete with the sound of the engine.
“Mmm, yeah. Was nice to get out, don’t know what that guy's problem was. Thought we were about to have an issue.” he smirked, rubbing his thumb on the inside of your thigh.
“Yeah, good thing Oz stepped in.”
“Speaking of… What did he say to you tonight?” he asks, letting his eyes travel to meet yours.
“Oh… Um, just talking business is all. Nothing serious.” you lie.
He stares at you for a few seconds trying to read you, but if there was one thing you were good at, it was putting on a tough exterior.
“Anyways, yeah. Was a good thing he stepped in or I’m pretty sure I would have walked out of there with a few more broken ribs.”
“If you walked at all.” you said playfully, pushing his shoulder.
“Have you lost your faith in me, baby?” he teases, sliding his hand higher up your thigh. “Think I can’t hold my own?”
“No, I’m sure you could have, just like it when you’re holdin’ me, more.” you quip.
He reaches over, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you to his lap to straddle him.
“Yeah? Like this?” he asks, sliding his hands over your hips and under your shirt. His hands are warm on your skin and you feel yourself melting into him. Your eyes flutter closed at the contact and your hips roll into his ever so slightly.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” he laughs, “Now, did you have fun at the club tonight?” he asks, letting his thumb dust the top of your shorts.
“Mostly.” you answer, letting your eyes fixate on his lips.
“Why mostly? Because of Dan–”
“No. Not because of him.” you cut him off.
“Then what, tell me.” he presses, brushing his fingers across your back.
“Because of you. I wasn’t done dancin’. Wanted to hear you sing to me some more.” you admit, letting your eyes lock with his.
“Meant what I said.” he breathes.
“You don’t want me to go…” you ask, your face inching closer to his.
“No. Don’t wanna lose this.” he pauses, licking his lips, as his lips brush yours. “Best thing I ever had and you ain’t even mine, yet.”
“Yet?” you breathe, barely audible against his lips.
He crashes his lips to yours, splaying his hand across your back as he pulls you closer. Your lips are hot on his, your wet tongues twisting together as you grip his hair between your fingers. You want him closer. You want more of him. Need more of him.
“No. Not yet, and it’s fuckin’ killin’ me.” he breathes, his voice gravely from the kiss.
“I don’t wanna keep kissin’ him and pretending it’s you.” you confess, rolling your hips into his as you kiss his neck.
“So fuckin’ don’t.” he says, a bit of venom in his tone.
You don’t respond, instead sucking wet kisses down his neck as your hands migrate under his shirt. You feel him, every inch between his chest and the top of his sweats, that are now barely concealing his growing bulge.
You slip your fingers beneath the waistband, causing his breath to hitch as his hands cup your chest. His thumbs drift over your hardened nipples and your hips jerk forward connecting your center to his. A hiss leaves his lips and you know he wants it just as bad as you do.
“I want you…” you whisper just beneath his ear. His hands grip into your hips, pulling you down onto his fully hard cock.
“Baby, I fuckin’ want you too. But not here. Not like this.” he says, kissing your throat.
You roll your hips into him again, the seam of your jean shorts providing you just enough friction that a whine rattles from your chest.
“If you sound like that and I ain’t even touched you yet…” he trails off shaking his head.
You slide your hand further into his sweats, gripping him in your fist. You slide your hand gently up and down his length, licking your lips as you stare into his lust blown eyes. A groan leaves his mouth as you round off at his tip, feeling the evidence of his arousal swipe against your palm.
His chest is rising and falling quicker, and you know he is restraining himself. “Baby…” it's a plea.
“Let me…” you whisper, waiting to see the flicker of want in his eyes. He pauses just for a second and you can see his inner turmoil. You bite your bottom lip between your teeth as your thumb passes over his sensitive tip. He finally nods his head gently, releasing his hands from your hips as you move next to him on the bench seat.
You lean over to rest on your elbows as you pull the hem of his sweats down. His eyes are glued to your every move and his stomach moves rapidly with each breath he takes. You press a wet kiss to the pistols inked over his pelvis, his hips jerking upward at the sensation of your lips so close to where he actually wants you. He runs his fingers through your damp hair, clutching it in his fist as you lick a hot, wet stripe from his base to his tip.
A strangled breath leaves his lips and his grip on your hair tightens. You repeat the motion, letting your tongue twist around his tip before sinking your mouth over him. You pull off of him quickly, realizing this angle isn’t going to provide you with the leverage you want. You reposition yourself to kneel on the spacious floorboard, and he opens his legs wider to let you in. Situated between his legs you grab his dick, letting your fist grip his base while the other hand rests on his thigh. Careful not to hit the steering wheel you sink your mouth over his length, letting your tongue slide down every perfect inch.
“Oh, fuck…” he pants, as you pull back. “I knew it…I fuckin’ knew it.”
You let your eyes meet his, completely dark and pupils blown with desire. “Knew if I had you like this…” he stammers, taking in a shaky breath as you continue to move your mouth over him. “Knew it’d be the best I’ve had…That perfect mouth…”
You twist your fist at his base, letting your lips meet your hand. You take quick mental notes of his sounds, his noises causing your eyes to roll back as they sputtered from his lips.
You added your other hand, twisting them both in opposite directions as you let your mouth work the tip, your thick saliva rolling down his shaft and between your fingers. It was utterly erotic and a bit on the nasty side to see yourself treating him this way, in the front seat of his dirty truck, nonetheless. While Danny was back at the hotel, clueless.
You pushed it all from your mind, letting your hands collect your slick saliva, working his base at a faster speed now.
“God damn…” he said through tightly clenched teeth. “Do that…again…”
You flicked your eyes up to see only the underside of his chin, his 5 o’clock shadow barely dusted across his jawline. His head was tilted back, and the sight of it spurred you on to keep doing this…keep going…make it better. You wanted to blow his mind.
You hummed your tongue against his cock, pretending that you were kissing his mouth. His hand was still gripped in your hair, and you felt his other hand grip underneath your chin, squeezing your lips together for you. “Keep doin’ that, fuck yeah…” it sounded like he’d been screaming all night, the way his voice rasped. “Suck your cheeks in baby, let me feel it…”
His hand squeezed your jaw as you continued on, your hands stopping you from taking him too deeply. But he didn’t seem to mind. You were going nuts on his tip, letting your tongue flick and swirl while he started to tighten his groin muscles.
“Aha...ahhh…fuck you don’t even know how good you feel, baby…can’t wait to feel you…to be inside you…” he gripped tighter on your hair as his hips bucked up. You could tell he was getting close. “All I could think about tonight in that little dress… And at the pool…. Fuck I want you…”
Just then you heard the crackle of rocks under tires coming in through the rolled-down windows, completely stopping you in your tracks. You saw the headlights of another vehicle reflect and pull up a few spots down from the truck.
“What the fuck?” You whispered, pulling your mouth off of Jake, but staying low.
“Shhh…they just parked. No one’s gotten out.” He paused all his movements but you still felt his dick pulsing in the grip of your hands. You heard the sound of two doors slam closed, and you felt your heart instantly drop.
Was it the law? Were you trespassing? Had Darrell found you after all? Should you pack it up and get the hell out of here?
A thousand thoughts ran through your mind as you stayed still as a statue. “You gonna finish what you started, or am I gonna have to take a long shower when we get back?” His voice was just above a breathy whisper.
“Jake..did they get out, or?”
“They’re just standing outside the car, girl and a guy. Looks like they’re getting drinks…” He loosened his grip on your hair and began to run his fingers through it. “You tapping out on me, baby? Get a little gun shy?”
You scoffed. “M’not gun shy, Jake. I just…didn’t want to get caught like…this.”
You heard the sound of two more doors close, followed by a laugh from Jake. “Well, you’re safe. They just got in the backseat. Looks like we all had the same ideas tonight.”
Slowly, you went back to work, your heart still pounding from the sudden surprise. You tried to focus your thoughts back on him, the way he felt in your mouth and in your hands…unlike anything you’d experienced before. And the way he was reacting to you made you want him even more. You needed to feel him more…
You released your grip on him and let your hands fall to his thighs, taking him further into the back of your throat again. You let your fingertips dig into him, showing him that you were enjoying the feeling too. You felt yourself starting to drip down your own thigh as his hand began to harshly guide you again. “Mmhm…” you hummed, flicking your tongue across him with each and every pull.
“You like when I do that, baby? That alright?” His hips had started bucking into you again.
Your eyes were crossing the more you got into it, dying to feel some type of relief yourself, but knowing that you owed him one. “Yes.” You pushed out when you found a free second.
He grunted a few times as he tried to stifle it away, push the feeling down to make it last as long as he could, while he could. “Your mouth’s like fuckin’ silk, baby…shit…”
He quickened your pace a little, and you felt him beginning to twitch, his own hand losing its rhythm as it pulled your hair, making you bob on top of him. You made a fast nodding motion as you gave him the okay, expletives beginning to fall out of his mouth as he tensed his body up.
“Shit baby…fu—” within seconds he was pouring into the back of your throat, his sweetness coating your tongue as you swallowed him down as best you could. His head shot back again, his jaw slung open and taking in quick breaths as you pulled as much from him as you could, never letting up with the suction of your cheeks.
“Goddamn, baby…” he finally muttered as he loosened his grip on your hair, slowly coming down from his high. He gently reached under your arms to pull you back up to straddle his lap. He attached his lips to yours, completely uncaring of the probable flavor on your tongue. You felt him between your legs again, still dripping from your saliva and half-hard against you. Fuck, you couldn’t wait for the day you finally…
He kissed into your mouth, his thumb and forefinger rested gently on your chin as you kissed him back. “You make my heart beat harder than it ever has before, you know that?” He whispered against your lips.
You giggled at his sentiment, finding it sweeter than he probably meant it to be. “No, I’m serious. You make me feel…like there’s…” you left him space to explain, but he wasn’t finding the words. His eyebrows furrowed as he flipped through his wheelhouse, his mouth hanging open as he struggled to speak.
“A…a good thing? Or…” you stuttered, trying to help.
“Yes! Yes yes a good thing.” His hands cupped your cheeks as he looked into your eyes, the shadows cast across them taking away from the normal honey brown they turned in the sunshine. “A really…really good fuckin’ thing.”
You smiled and buried your head in his neck, taking in the musky smell of his sweat mixed with his Brut cologne he had dabbed on before you left for the club. It was intoxicating, and your eyes fluttered shut as you committed it to memory. He felt like home in the best way, and it terrified you that you felt so safe and secure with a man you hardly even knew…one that you’d be leaving in the dust in just a few short days.
You sat just like that for a while, your arms wrapped around his neck as he hugged on to you hard, his fingertips lightly brushing the skin of your back every so often as the night trailed on. You listened to the frogs and the crickets of summertime, the warm breeze floating through the open windows every few seconds.
After what felt like hours of holding each other, he turned his head so that his mouth was on your ear. In the tiniest, almost inaudible whisper, he begged you a plea.
“Please don’t go to Atlanta…”
You pulled away and met his eyes again, unsure of how to answer that. He looked defeated, his normal stoic and rough exterior completely melting away as soon as you did so.
“You really don’t want me to leave…”
“No. I said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re your own woman and make your own decisions, but. I…I just wanted to try…”
His voice was small as he let himself be vulnerable for a second. The radio was still playing softly behind you, lulling you into bigger emotions than you expected to feel tonight. Fuck.
You pulled your hair behind your ear. “I gotta go, Jake…” you whispered, biting your tongue as you almost felt the want to cry.
He blinked hard as he looked down, replacing his hands from your cheeks down onto your thighs stretched across his lap. He nodded in understanding.
“I know. I know you do.”
You placed your hands to his chest and tapped it, wrapping your hands around his neck and scalp, pulling him in for another kiss.
After a few more heated seconds, he pulled away. “Tell me you feel it, though. Tell me I’m not crazy.” He muttered.
You swallowed thickly as you let your forehead rest on his cheekbone. “You’re not crazy, Jake. I feel it, too.”
It was all you needed to say. You climbed off his lap and repositioned on the bench seat beside him as he tucked himself back into his pants. He started the truck and let the engine roar to life, the inside cab lights instantly illuminating the now completely dark surroundings. He put the truck in gear and backed out of the spot, kicking up dust behind him as he slow-rolled toward the main road again.
Both of you solemnly sat in silence as you let the wind whip your hair, your arms hanging out the window taking in the heat of the late night. The tension was heavy as you both came down from the intensity of the admission you’d just given each other. You could still feel him on your lips and on your tongue, and you’d be lying if you didn’t have a hole in your chest at the thought of leaving him. It was almost like a punch to the gut.
“Oh, fuck…it’s my guys…” his hand suddenly reached to turn the knob of the radio as high as it would go.
“Head Over Heels” by Tears For Fears blasted through the busted speakers, filling the cab with heavy piano and some of the best synth of your time. You couldn’t help the smile that crept to your face as you watched him come completely unglued as he sang the lyrics of one of his favorite songs, using his fist as a fake microphone as his other wrist draped across the steering wheel.
“I wanted to be with you alone,
And talk about the weather…”
You took him in as his hair flipped in his face, his body laid back and comfortable in his environment. You envied him, being able to make any place he was in look like his home. Like he was made to be there, completely comfortable and complacent in his surroundings. He didn’t mesh to his world, his world meshed to him.
You started to sing along with him, earning a giant smile as he heard you.
“Something happens, and I’m head over heels,
I never find out ‘til I’m head over heels…”
You both yelled like teenagers as you laughed at one another, and in that moment you found him sexier than you ever had. Not just in his looks, and in his demeanor, but in his true personality. The person he allowed himself to be with you. He pulled your hand to his, scooting you closer to him in the seat as he maneuvered the curvy roads with ease.
He draped his arm across your shoulders as the song began to come to a close. He pulled you in tight, leaning his head down sideways to rest on yours while he sang.
“Oh this is my,
Four leaf clover…”
You glanced to him through your wildly flipping hair, finding him looking at you just the same. He placed a quick kiss to your temple before he returned his eyes to the road, finishing out the la la la la la’s as you rested your palm to his thigh.
My four leaf clover.
He had called you his good luck charm, and so had Danny. Hard to find, but lucky to have. A one in a million chance.
As you felt his fingertips graze the side of your shoulder, you really started to think about your brand new life in Atlanta. What you’d been searching for since the day you left your mother’s. You’d set out for adventure, a new beginning, a life you could live all your own, surrounded by people who cared for you.
Never once had it hit you that you might have been living it for the past week and a half, already.
—
JAKE POV
The rest of the drive back was fairly quiet, just the songs on the radio filtering through the cab, and the smell of her hair wafting into your nose. The colorful lights of the strip twinkled as the night grew darker. With your hand now firmly planted on her thigh and her head resting on your shoulder, you felt peaceful and carefree for the first time in a long time. She seemed to keep having that effect on you whether you liked it or not.
It wasn’t too long before you were pulling the truck back into the parking lot of the hotel, and turning the keys in the ignition. The two of you sat for another minute, soaking in the feeling of each other before returning back to the room where Daniel slept, completely unknowing. Though he had all but given you the green light, there was still something there. Still something holding you back, something holding her back. You felt her lips press a kiss to your shoulder as she made the first move to open the door. You followed behind her, locking up the truck and reaching for the hotel room key in your pocket.
Before opening the door, you grabbed her hand, pulling her close to you and letting your lips meet hers one more time. Both of you knew things were different now, but once you stepped inside that door things had to go back to how they were. At least for now. You pulled away from her, the feeling of her lips still lingering as you pushed the door open. Both of you entered quietly, trying not to wake Danny, but to your surprise he wasn’t in his bed.
Y/N looked at you in shock, as you nodded towards the light beaming from beneath the bathroom door. Y/N quickly shimmied out of her shorts and tossed her hair into a ponytail, as you stripped yourself of your sweatpants. She paused as she tried to decide which bed to crawl into, but before she could make her decision the bathroom door opened. Both of you turned to meet Danny, his face bruised and swollen as he tried to wipe the dried blood from his nose. His stature was limp and frail, and you felt a sick feeling in your stomach as you looked at him. He slowly made his way back to the bed, looking more worse for wear than you’ve ever seen him.
“Oh my god, Danny, what—” Y/N rushed to his side, slowly sitting beside him on the bed.
“Daniel, what the fuck happened…” you asked, walking towards them, and flicking on a light. It was then that you saw the true extent of his injuries. Y/N was gently drifting her hand across his bare stomach, black and blue and full of still-fresh cuts.
He smacked her hand away from him, giving her a look from hell as he pulled the sheets back over his body, wincing in pain as he did so.
“Please don’t fuckin’ touch me, Y/N.” He gritted.
“Jesus christ, did you get fucking jumped? I…I thought you were asleep?!” you blurted out.
“I fuckin’ was, until I heard yelling and banging on the door. I was still half-drunk so I shot up thinkin’ it was you…forgot your key or some bullshit. Then I looked around and noticed you were gone…you were both gone. By then I had already opened the door. Was too late. They found us…found me.”
“Who?! Who found you?” you asked, a wave of anger washing over you….knowing the possibilities were many.
“Who do you fuckin’ think, Jake?!” His voice was seething, and you could tell he was holding back physically by the pain written all over his expressions.
“You left! You fuckin’ left me alone and they found me! I was outnumbered, I–” he stammered, his mind mentally exhausted as he ran his hands over his face.
You suddenly felt like the smallest person in the room. “Goddamnit Daniel, just tell me who…”
He swallowed hard and opened his bloodied eyes, and you swore you could feel the venom rushing through his veins as if it were your own.
“Teddy.”
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WAIT ONE FUCKING SECOND
IS DANNY'S ROSE TATTOO A REFERENCE TO THE WHITE ROSES GIVEN TO THE FANS AS A GVF REFERENCE?!?! TO COMMEMORATE THIS TIME IN HIS LIFE BECAUSE OH MY GOD!?!?!
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Yeah this made it much much worse 😇
i NEED to see pics of au valor jake and danny
My lovely friend @kiszkasun made these, and I have to say... I am team both of them.
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First and foremost I would like to deeply apologize to every single person that we hurt with the sensitive contents in the most recent update of Vigilance. We can both see how that specific scene, amongst others, could be very triggering for readers who have experienced SA, cheating or worse, and in hindsight was not something that should have been written about.
In no way shape or form did we ever intend to trigger our audience with the story and its contents. We have tried to keep this story as lifelike as possible, and including things that hit close to home for so many people can be touchy and hard to do. As soon as the topic of vague trigger warnings was brought to our attention, they were immediately addressed and updated to be more detailed, and I will be working diligently to update the warnings in the rest of the chapters over the next few days.
Jules and myself are more than willing to talk one on one with anyone who has feedback or issues with our story, so that we can work together to find a resolution that leaves everyone feeling comfortable. Again, it was never ever our intention to hurt anyone, trigger anyone or be dismissive of anyone's feelings regarding SA, cheating, or anything of the sort. These things are very serious topics, and are not something that should be taken lightly, ever.
Regarding my deleted tweet this morning on Twitter, the intention was not to dismiss the contents of the story or anyone's feelings regarding its contents and how they affected you. The intent was to remind everyone that these things, while very important and serious topics, are taking place in a fictional world. I quickly saw the harm in wording it that way and I deleted the tweet to minimize the effects it may have on people's feelings, as to not seem dismissive to such a sensitive topic.
In the future we fully plan to detail any and all possible triggers, and be mindful of the plots we create to avoid this happening again. To those of you who have reached out to talk about the issue, I appreciate it, and urge anyone else who would still like to talk about it to please send me or Jules a DM if you are feeling uncomfortable. We love you all very much, and hope we can work to make this right for everyone affected.
❤️
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will you pin your masterlist again? i can’t find all the parts to vigilance
Unfortunately I pulled it for a reason. I will be pulling my master list in its entirety as soon as I have the time to do so. Contrary to popular belief we have lives outside of the fandom. Husbands. Children. Dogs. Jobs. All things that take priority over writing fan fiction.
Four months ago we fixed the issues people had with that chapter. Mere hours after the fact. We updated and continued to update trigger warnings there after to be as specific as possible to avoid any other issues, as it was never our intention to hurt people. We both made public apologies and moved past it. Whether you believe it or not we did learn from this.
This community was once a fun place for us, but that’s no longer the case. I’m sorry to anyone who genuinely supported us but I’m not going to sit here and let our work continue to be read by the same people that are talking poorly about us on Twitter and elsewhere. But to bring my child into it? That’s where I draw the line. It’s never okay to talk about children no matter the circumstances.
The negativity has gone too far. This is no longer a place we want to be associated with.
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what’s your favorite song from each Greta Van Fleet EP/Album?
FTF: black smoke rising
AOTPA: age of man
TBAGG: age of machine
SC: the archer
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Anything For You - Chapter 17 Part 1
Word count: 4.3k
Warnings: KISSIN AND SMOOCHIN, language, allusions to sex (erections? The word “horny”?), I think that’s it
Masterlist
NOTE: since chapter 14, I haven’t been able to edit these posts. I’ll make changes and then it won’t save, giving me an error message. I would LOVE if someone could help with this so you’re not getting shitty work when I wake up the next day and see my mistakes. I am BEGGING you.
Note 2: Part 2 is not on paper (screen) yet but it’s fully planned. It’s just a matter of writing it. I hope you all know how much I love writing this and how much I love your love of it. We’re all learning patience here as I have fuck all time to write.
“You know I … somewhat support you being on good terms with Jake, but what on earth are you two doing that you couldn’t come home for two nights?” Josh asks, shimmying his white satin pants on as you lounge on his dressing room couch. He turns around to face you, buttoning the pants. “Because it’s … not sex?”
You laugh at his confused face. “No, not sex. But also, have you seen where he’s staying? Fuck ass-”
“It’s a fucking barn.” Josh answers, looking bewildered.
“Yeah, exactly. Tiny as shit.”
“You’re ignoring my question.” You can hear his unspoken “bitch” as he continues getting ready. “Are you okay over there?”
You shrug, both hands on your belly. You spent another night with Jake, wrapped in his arms with his little snores in your face. You spent an incredible amount of time just tracing his nose, his eyebrows, his cheeks, those divots under his eyes. He slept through it, his warm body melted into yours, so relaxed. So safe. Still no kisses, still no relief from your aching need, but being back with him … your brain quieted down for a moment.
Today was their first Nashville show, the first of the tour, and you met Josh at the stadium a few hours after Jake got there, wanting to spend time with him before he too left for a while.
You didn’t want to face how anxious you were about being alone.
“Just talking.” You replied, eyes on the ceiling.
Josh makes a noise of disbelief. “Is he behaving himself?”
Your mind wanders back to the bottles in his sink that first time you went to his little Airbnb. You never did get an answer on those and you tried not to think about it.
“He is.”
“Is he?” Josh pushes, his eyes shut as his sequins are applied. “Because you cannot imagine the fury I still hold for that fuck.”
You chuckle, nodding. “Yes. He’s quite the gentleman when he’s sober.”
Josh’s lips pinch into a line, a hum of noncommitment. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“Thank you.” You breathe out, suddenly aware of the belly under your hands. Josh seems to be too, peeking one eye open and looking over at you with a smile. He’s careful not to get stabbed with tweezers.
“You’re beautiful, Y/N.” He goes back to eyes closed, focused on makeup application that he has no hand in. “Just like I thought you would be.”
You scoff, waving him away. You arrived with your hair done, but in sweatpants and a shirt from their merch. You knew you would change later and didn’t want to be so early and in uncomfortable clothes. It was also nice that your loose outfit hid enough for people to look at you questioningly but not know with absolute certainty if you were pregnant. Many of their tech and road team knew you, but you didn’t need the attention of the new folks.
“I feel shitty.” You reply, sighing as you sit up. “Lookin’ pretty shit too. But thank you.”
“Fuck off.” He groans, flipping you off. “Dickhead. I’m not entertaining your bullshit today. I’m the star.”
You laugh, glossing over his intent and focusing on his humor. “You sure about that? Jake seemed pretty intent on being the star tonight.”
“He can try all he wants but I’m the prettiest one on that fuckin’ stage. Rackin’ bitches, babe. He can’t touch this.” He flips his hand dramatically, giving a kind smile to the woman who finishes his makeup. He spins toward you, leaning back against a table with all his stuff on it. “Will you be backstage? Or what are you doing?”
You nod, standing. “Yes, yeah. Whatever ‘backstage’ is for your stage.”
“Oh that’s right, you didn’t go to much of the last tour.” Josh hums. “Well, a lot has changed. Including you.” He gestures toward you. “Don’t you hate being back there? I distinctly remember you refusing anything but side stage.”
You purse your lips, ready for how stupid you’re about to sound. “Jake asked me to be backstage.”
“Why?” Josh’s reply is immediate.
“I don’t know.”
“Bullshit.”
“Agreed.”
“No, you’re bullshit.”
“Rude.”
He just stares at you, waiting for another answer.
You roll your eyes. “He said he wanted to know where I was.”
“He can do that when you’re side stage.” His eyebrow quirks up.
“And maybe he said he wanted to see me closer, I don’t know.” You mumble, looking away.
“Speak up.” He chastises, going to slip on his shoes.
“No.”
“Tell me what you’re getting at or I’ll make your baby call me something fucking stupid.”
You throw your head back in laughter at this, earning a smirk from him.
“I don’t know!” You throw your hands up in defeat. “I just know I wanted to be here.”
“For him.” Josh amends.
You shrug wildly. “Maybe!”
“Mhmm.” Josh hums through pursed lips, flicking you away with his hand. “Go find him. I have to finish warming up.”
Before you go, you come up behind him and pull him into a hug. He chuckles, turning so he can hold you too. You bury your face in his neck and he sways as you squeeze your arms around his torso.
“It’s nice to see you like this, Y/N.” Josh mutters into your hair.
You can feel tears welling up behind your eyes somehow and you groan, pushing him away. “Whatever. Fuck off.”
He bids you goodbye and you set off down the hall to find Jake’s room. It’s not hard to find given it’s the only one with a closed door and no one lingering in the doorway. Sam and Danny embrace their fratty selves and party as they get ready for shows. Jake, from your limited experience, needs complete solitude.
You creep up to his door and knock quietly. He yells a muffled “c’m’in” and you open the heavy thing slowly, not wanting to interrupt his process. You catch him adjusting his suit by the lapels, watching himself in the mirror. Three cans of beer sit on his vanity, untouched. You step in so he can see you, his eyes finding you in the mirror immediately.
“Hi,” You wave sheepishly, ears pinking with embarrassment for the flood of emotions you feel when you see him. Contentment. Home.
Jake rushes over and wraps you into a hug so fierce you both spin on the spot from the force. You quickly wrap your arms around him too, some sort of juvenile safety filling the room on contact, a sigh leaving Jake, his arm crawling up to wrap around your head and pull you even closer.
“I missed you.” Jake breathes, mumbled into your hair.
“I saw you this morning.” You laugh quietly, bunching the back of his suit in your hands. Closer closer closer.
“I know.” He replies, bending down to lift you so your legs wrap around his waist. He meets your shriek with a smile as he sets you on his vanity, the light behind you making him look so angelic. He smiles at you for just a moment before he hugs you again. It’s vulnerable, the way he holds you. He’s under no impression that he’s giving you something - he’s asking for that something. The way he melts into you is reminiscent of how he felt last night, and you wrap your arms around his neck and let him lean against you as he pulls you closer by your waist. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” You admit, carding a hand through his hair. Now you have to stop yourself from crying, thinking about him leaving after his show tomorrow.
“I can’t do it.” Jake mutters, a shuddering breath racking his ribs. “I can’t.”
You move so he’s looking at you, his lips downturned against his will, a crease between his brows. “Do what?”
He fights the shaking of his voice, one hand leaving your waist to cradle your belly. He just watches his hand for a moment, thumb swiping soothing semi-circles over your clothed skin. “I can’t go out there. I’m not ready. I don’t know why I thought I could handle this.”
Now it’s your turn to pull him closer by his waist until he’s comfortably between your legs. It’s an honor that he’s showing you this … but you feel like you can truly do fuck all to help him. And you feel helpless. “No one is more capable of this than you are, Jake.”
He shakes his head, sighing heavily as his forehead comes down to your shoulder. “I’m not ready.”
“You are.” You state, brushing his hair from his cheeks where it’s fallen. He groans and you smile, wrapping your legs around him so he’s even closer. He can’t ever be close enough. Wrapped in your embrace, both of his hands find your belly. Just like last night. “You were born for this. There’s simply no other option than greatness to flow from you.”
Jake chuckles, somewhat self-deprecating. “I promised too much.”
“Impossible.”
“Can we just go home?” He asks, voice small. “I don’t want to be here.”
“Yes you do.” You correct, pinching his hip and earning another chuckle as he winces away.
“We could go to the hotel now.” He offers in a sing-song voice, straightening and resting his forehead on yours. You move his hair again, his eyes flickering to your lips. “Just us. Leave those fuckers to figure this out alone.”
You laugh softly, tightening your thighs on the plush give of his waist. One of his hands falls to your thigh, holding you there. “How is a hotel more exciting than seeing you perform?”
He quirks a brow, a hesitant smile gracing his beautiful face. “You find me exciting?”
You shake your head, mouthing “no” and making him smile bigger. Softer.
“You’re more exciting.” He continues. “Please.”
“Jacob.” You say, tone chastising. “I’m not going to the hotel with you right now. You have thousands of people who could not be more excited to see you.”
“But I only want to see you.” He whines, kissing under both of your eyes. His voice drops to a whisper when he continues. “And I want to see you tonight.”
“You will.” You reply, puzzled. “I said I’d stay with you.”
“No.” He corrects, his hands moving to your ass and sliding you close. You can’t help your sigh at the closeness of his pelvis and yours. You’re never not horny around him. Jake smirks, placing another kiss to your jaw. “I had certain plans in mind.”
“Huh?” You ask, a hand coming to the back of his neck. “Like what?”
“Mmm,” He hums, fake thought, nipping your chin. “Like putting that big ass bed to good use.”
“Oh.” You note, eyes going wide, your insides suddenly and completely melting. “Like- … like-“
His lips brush over yours as he finishes your thought. “Like I need to fuck you. If you’ll have me.”
Your breath is immediately ragged, the abstinence catching up with you. “How so?”
Jake chuckles, a kiss on the corner of your lips that you keep yourself from chasing. “You get whatever you want, honey girl. It’s up to you.”
You can’t help the groan that rolls from you. “Really? Are you sure?”
“Oh I love how desperate you sound right now.” Jake whispers and you feel him harden between your legs. “I’m very sure.”
“Oh.” You breathe, feeling like your world is slowly dwindling down to you and him and this embrace and nothing else. “Are you sure you don’t want to right now?”
“I’m very sure.” He kisses the other corner of your lips and you sigh. “You deserve better than that.”
You groan, chasing his lips again as he pulls away. This time, instead of retreating, Jake’s mind changes in an instant and he leans back in and kisses you. Soft. Welcoming. His clammy hands on your cheeks. The controlled force of the rush back to you has you leaning back on your hands to accept him closer, closer, closer.
The sigh that leaves you both is a breath you’ve been holding for months.
You could cry from relief, finally tasting his sweet mouth again on yours. While his kiss is close-lipped, patient, you quickly lean back up and grab his face, pulling him closer as an invitation to go deeper. He pulls away just enough for you to bite his lower lip and tug. It’s obvious he’s trying to control himself when he comes back, his tongue lathing over your lower lip and pulling a sigh from you.
“I missed this so much.” You whisper against his lips. “I missed you.”
“I could tell.” Jake smirks, a lazy smile on his face. He pecks your lips. “I missed you.”
“Shut up.” You mumble when he’s back against you, your smiling lips just barely pressed together. He’s so pretty when he smiles, like it’s a secret he’s found you worthy of keeping for him.
He grabs your thighs and hikes them up to his waist so he can lean forward into you, a hand combing through your hair with his thumb brushing your cheek. “Maybe you come on stage with me.”
You laugh breathily, pulling him against you for a slow, luxurious kiss. He hums against him, his free hand coming down to the vanity beside your hip to hold himself up. Your hand falls beside his to do the same. You would give anything for this show to be over so he you could show him how you feel.
“They do not want to see me, mister rockstar.” You run your other hand through his hair and silently ask for another one of those. His languid, intoxicating kiss. The way his lips slot between yours and you can taste his minty breath, so sweet and cool. He’s so warm.
“I do. I want to see you all the time.” He mutters, granting you your request.
You can’t get enough of him. What was erotic a second ago has turned into you absolutely melting into his touch, feeling warm and safe and protected and yes, turned on but it was impossible not to be around Jake.
You shake your head, pulling back so the movement has your kiss-swollen lips brushing against his. “You have more important things to do. I’ll still be here.”
He groans, just shy of panting, forehead returning to your shoulder as you laugh into his hair and run your hand over the back of his neck. “I don’t want you to be somewhere I’m not, Y/N. I want you this close all the time.”
There’s something on the tip of his tongue. The same thing on yours.
You lean back up and hop off the vanity. He grunts in disapproval and sets you back on it. “I have to get dressed.” You laugh. “I won’t be-“
“There’s nothing out there that’s more important than you.” Jake states, eyebrows narrowed like he’s suddenly upset.
You freeze, hand on his bicep. “I just need to get dressed, Jake.”
“But then that means I have to go get ready and then I have to leave you for two hours.” He states, both hands beside your thighs on the table.
You nod, still confused. “But I’ll be backstage the whole time.”
“Where I can see you?”
“Yes, Jake.” You smile, the worry in his face amusing you somehow. “Right between the curtains where you can see me. I promise.”
He nods, a hand softly brushing over your cheek before he leans back in, another sweet kiss that sends tingles all the way down to your toes. You wonder for a second if the way your heart is racing is bad for the baby. Jake is just so … addictive.
Your chin tilts forward when he finally pulls away, seeking him again. Always. He kisses both cheeks, your nose, and your forehead before he sinks to his knees with both hands on your belly. Without thinking much, you lift your shirt just a touch so his warm hands can touch your skin. As usual, the touch is sedating on contact.
He looks up at you appreciatively, his eyes soft and warm, before he kisses just above your naval. Slow, his lips lingering, the tip of his nose resting on your skin. There’s no fear or discomfort, just pure adoration for what he knows is his. And you want to be part of that.
Jake wraps his arms around you so they link behind your back, pulling you to the edge of the vanity. He rests his cheek on your bump and looks up at you through his lashes.
“You’ll be here?” He asks, voice low.
Don’t leave, his eyes say.
You nod, brushing the hair from his face again. “If you want me.”
Want me, want me, want me.
“Please.” He looks away just long enough to kiss your belly again. “And I can meet you in our room right after? I promise I’ll be so fast.”
“Are you horny?” You ask, laughing. “What has gotten into you to make you so desperate?”
“Uuuuuh,” He starts, almost comedic, then rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you’re gonna make good on your promise to suck my dick, remember?”
He jokes like this even while he kiss, kiss, kisses your belly, hands coming back to embrace it.
“Oh trust me, Jake. I remember.” You croon, tugging on his roots to let him know how you feel. “I’d do it right now if you’d have me.”
He sighs dramatically, standing up as you pull your shirt back down. He adjusts his outfit in the mirror behind you, flicking his hair into place. “I wasted too much time kissing you. We’ll have to save the dick sucking for later.”
You scoff dramatically back before pulling him back in by the wrist, tilting his chin up with your thumb so you can kiss his throat. “You’ll be fine.”
“And you two will be fine?” He asks, sighing into your embrace. “Fuck, you smell nice.”
You laugh. “Yes, baby and I will be fine.”
His eyes glimmer when he pulls back. “Baby,” He whispers in that song-song voice again, kissing your forehead once more before rushing himself out the door with a promise to see you soon.
When the heavy door clicks shut, you hop off the vanity again and get to changing. It’s somewhat difficult to ignore that the speed at which you do so is because of a fluttering in your chest that begins the minute Jake leaves - one that urges you to run after him and ask him to stay. Every time. Shut the fuck up.
_____
You stood back in the hall while the opener performed, chatting with some of the Greta crew and fiddling with your earplugs while the boys finished their last-minute warming-up. You always felt like a weird and unfit spectacle whenever you were in public with Josh and you had no desire to do that to yourself for longer than you had to - especially guaranteeing that the people out there were fans and not just strangers seeing you with beautiful and capable men.
But the moment the band flooded into the hall, your eyes found Jake’s and his yours. He’s fiddling with his earpiece and you can’t help but shake your hands in excitement as he runs toward you, again falling into you with such force in his embrace that you spin. You can’t help but laugh as he kisses you in a chaotic, pre-show nerves way where he only hits the mark of your lips about 60% of the time with each kiss he hums through. You’re left a mess in the wake of his whirlwind, still laughing as he runs backward into the stadium, blowing kisses his whole way.
Josh comes second, only able to spare you a confused and slightly alarmed look as he grabs a mic from a tech guy and blows you one kiss before he runs after Jake. Sam and Danny disappear further down to get to their spots and you follow the directions of one of said tech guy to follow him to side stage. You do, guided only by his dark mass and the flashlight he shines on the ground, making your way to where Jake’s case rests open - “vaginatarian” sticker, picture of Black Beard, weird 3D printed toy and all.
That sticker is definitely true. You could silently confirm that much.
You step back to where your guide yells over the boom of the crowd that Jake wants you to stand and shift uncomfortably between your boot-clad feet as you wait for things to begin. It’s hard to deny, especially when you deeply care about two people in the band, that the energy in the arena has the same potency as a horse tranquilizer.
Mmm. Ketamine.
Sometimes you wish you could drink while pregnant. You know, when you’ve needed it most.
You clear your throat and step back just as the band finds their places on stage behind the curtain. Jake leans back so he can see you through a crack and he blows you a kiss, which you mime catching and holding against your heart. He smiles brightly and winks, getting into position just as the curtain falls away.
Showtime.
You hadn’t seen them perform in so long, the excitement was nearly intoxicating. You found yourself singing along as Josh belted and Jake played - the other two were probably also good but you did not notice. In moments of Jake’s solos, your hands were clasped together and the biggest smile overtook your face, just watching him in his element, that beautiful cape flowing behind him.
Every time Josh ran by you for an outfit change, he signs I love you with a big smile as you cheer him on loudly. The on-stage banter is lively, the crowd is electric, and your eyes can only keep finding Jake. It’s hard to deny how erotic he is on that stage - the one he absolutely was prepared for. He delivered on every promise you’re sure he made and then some, lighting up the arena with the most beautiful talent and skill you’ve ever witnessed. It’s hard to imagine how you haven’t noticed the complexity of his beauty when he performs until now.
Jake is … all. The earth and moon and sun and stars. The very reason your heart beats and the co-creator of the heartbeat in your belly. His presence was peace. Safety. A hard-won lover. You wanted him. You wanted him to stick around.
The whole thing goes by in a blur and suddenly Jake’s mid-concert solo has begun. Electric. That’s all it can be described as. He is magic, his fingers seemingly performing witchcraft on that guitar and you can’t help but cheer and holler from your position.
His eyes find yours for a long-enough moment and butterflies come to life in your belly. Your hands find your bump and you give him the biggest smile you can muster, which he returns, the pinch of his cheeks squeezing his eyes shut for a second.
Butterflies. Just butterflies. But you can feel them.
Baby.
Baby kicks.
“Jake!” You yell in surprise even though he definitely can’t hear you. You run much closer to the steps that lead to the stage than you’re meant to but it doesn’t matter because Jake is climbing down them as Danny’s solo begins.
He’s not entirely focused on you since he has to rush to B stage, but you grab his hand and inherently his attention. Without hesitation, he pulls you in for a kiss that lingers probably a lot longer than it should for times sake and your brain goes cloudy for a second before you remember.
You whip back and put his hand on your belly, right where the baby was kicking. Not butterflies - baby kicks.
He looks confused for a second, wiping sweat from his brow with his free hand and freezing when he feels it. His eyes shoot up to yours and you scream in joy, knowing it will be drowned out by Danny and the crowd.
“Are those- is that-“ He stammers, yelling enough for you to hear him.
You hop excitedly from foot to foot. “Baby kicks!”
The joy shared between the two of you as you shriek in laughter and he spins you around in a big hug is unlike anything you’ve experienced before. When he sets you down, his hands return to your belly, the exact spot you put his hand. Awe fills his eyes as his baby kicks inside you, feeling just like the butterflies he’s made you feel a hundred times before. His eyes fill with tears but his face remains one of pure joy and shock, not believing what he’s feeling.
“The first time?” He shouts, laughing incredulously.
“They heard you!” You yell back. “They heard you and they loved it!”
Jake’s chin ducks for a second as he tries to compose himself. When he looks back at you, he pulls you in for another kiss. Then a kiss to your cheeks and nose. He whispers something that you can’t make out, his lips pressed to your forehead.
“What?” You yell, gesturing to your ear to let him know he has to speak up.
He pulls back and smiles, eyebrows knit together. “I said I love you, Y/N!”
He’s pulled away from you by a security guard to get him down to the other stage and you’re left standing there, jaw slack, doing every mental equation to get to a place where he meant something else. There’s just no way. He couldn’t. He didn’t mean it.
Blood rushes through your ears and creates an eerie silence. You’re standing right where he left you as he blows a kiss over his shoulder and he’s ushered away.
I love you, Y/N.
I love you, Y/N.
I love you, Y/N.
I love you too, Jake.
_____
It’s part 1 because it was already 4k and barely half done so TADAAA ENJOY!!!!
Tag list! (You’re only allowed 50 tags in a post so I will reblog with the rest!!)
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