fleshmonger

[fleshmonger]

when I see something dated 2019 I think “oh that’s not too long ago” and then I remember that 2019 was not only five years ago but those five years have somehow contained several lifetimes

[fleshmonger]

“ew thick water gross and weird” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!! “ew why buy pre-cut vegetables when you can cut your own” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU!!!!!! “I don’t need a device to help me put my socks on I’m not lazy” ITS NOT FUCKING FOR YOU !!!!!!!!! “Why drink liquid meals when you can cook them” ITS!!!!! NOT!!!!!! FOR!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!

[fleshmonger]

[fleshmonger]

mom listen. you need to help me order this shirt. yes, it says "call me a 737 cause i've got a few screws loose and I sucked a guy off". trust me it's very creative. you don't get it because you don't follow corporate crime in aerospace

[fleshmonger]

Aren’t you also completely enamored by Makima?

[fleshmonger]

i miss the bad guys. like they really took the only good thing about zootopia (furries) and made it infinitely better by Not being copaganda

[fleshmonger]

There was a new LGBT+ acronym, and it was twig etc. (it had to be in lowercase for some reason). It stood for trans, Welsh, intersex, and gay. Everyone else was etc. It was very controversial.

[fleshmonger]

Hold on a second I think OP might be on to something here

you can literally say anything to men, it doesn’t matter

[fleshmonger]

[fleshmonger]

i always assumed that hating pigeons was the result of some sort of mysterious city liver wisdom but ive lived in cities on and off for like at least 3 years now i think. and i still find pigeons charming and wonderful. the main critique i see is that they poop which applies to literally all animals. i guess they steal your food? they dont steal MY food. also imagine youre a hungry little beast. gotta eat to live gotta steal to eat otherwise wed get along. etc

[fleshmonger]

every sunday i tell my liberal father that i'm off to go get another sex change. he tells me "yass monarch slay". but in reality i go to church to study the teachings of the lord. if my liberal father knew this i would be disowned. this is joe biden's america

[fleshmonger]

semiaquatic secret agent

[fleshmonger]

they should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you

[fleshmonger]

cursed with "do you still like me?" "are you mad at me?" "did i do something wrong?" disorder

[fleshmonger]

no DNIs we just post content specifically catered to ourselves that will coincidentally alienate anyone with whom we would not want to interact

[fleshmonger]

Sift

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

[fleshmonger]

Yall need to get it in your heads that sometimes people on the internet are just fucking with you for fun. There's no grand idealogical reasoning or conspiratorial politics behind it, sometimes they're just having a laugh at your expense.