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fortune-failing · 6 years

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Pawdon - Pre-London Arc

(Session 83)

London

It is an hour or two before noon. The group had just patched up a plan for Upper Keep and were now going their separate ways to prepare themselves before the planned infiltration of the prison at dusk. As Pawo began to walk his own direction, he felt a hand tug at the fabric of his large sleeve.

"Can we talk?" London's voice was surprisingly quieter than usual.

Pawo

Pawo stopped in his tracks. He glanced at London without any expression written on his face. Not uttering a word, he simply nods.

London

He lowered his hand. "Are you going to be alright?" His expression was one of pure concern for the shaman.

Pawo

Pawo continued to stare stoically. "No choice but to keep my chin up."

London

It was a small and quiet port which made the sharp inhale of a gasp all the more clear. London scratched at his head and glanced around. "We can find a spot to sit. Come on." He led the way.

Pawo

Pawo quietly follows London absentmindedly.

London

With a lack of formality, London brought Pawo to the docks. The sound of waves splashed against the beams beneath them. "Um, I've been thinking about some of the stuff you've said to me. It's been a few days, so it's okay if you forgot, but earlier you asked me what I thought the meaning of my life should be. I had said I wanted to use my extended lifespan to help people, but you pointed out not caring about whether I lived or died really contradicted that. The truth is, I'm not sure what I want..."

Pawo

"I...I suppose it is all right to be confused for now. Thinking about your extended future is beyond the capabilities of any regular human being. I imagine it must be quite pressuring." Pawo responds, not looking at London. The sounds of the waves were relaxing and almost meditative.

London

"Heh. I'm sure I'll be fine. I just think.. if we are going to save Caila and stop Nonis, it'd be better to know that's what I want to do... We are all risking our lives for this, after all... So saying that... I'm not sure how to say this... but are you sure you want to go through with this, Pawo? No one could blame you if you want to leave right now.. with Beaford.." He takes a small glance towards Pawo's direction studying his face and eyes. He used to think they were so intimidating, but right now Pawo seemed so weak and small.

Pawo

"I know people are going to worry about me from now on. I understand...but I am not going to back out of this task." Pawo avoids eye contact despite feeling London staring at him. "I apologize, London. At this point, I also have no idea what I am going to do once we save the younger princess. Maybe I am not the best person for advice." He let out a small sigh. It was hard to even think about the future

London

"So you still want to help Caila and the people of Litskaedun?" His voice spoke outside of Pawo's view.

Pawo

"Yes. And the people of Yukar." Pawo added.

London

Pawo could hear a relieved sigh. "I'm glad.. It makes me happy knowing you still want to help people. I think I kind of idolize that side of you."

Pawo

"I thought I told you it is better to not look up to me." His face cracks into a frown which he quickly tries to hide. "I am not keeping myself together for my sake. I do not think I am worthy of such a reputation."

London

London frowns in turn. "I mean.. You're still planning to help others even when things are this complicated.. Hm..." He grows quiet and turns his attention to the water ahead before changing the subject. "I'm not totally sure if I should say this, so you can walk away if you're not up for it or if it sounds too unpleasant.. and I'm not hoping for advice or anything. I guess.. I just wanted to talk."

The younger man takes a seat letting his legs hang off the edge of the pier. "All of my life, I feel like there has been something that has been keeping me from being truly happy. Even when I have everything I could truly ask for.. it's still not enough. So I always find myself feeling sad again or wanting more when I'm alone or even in the company of others. It's caused a lot of stress for others. Faelian more than anyone shouldn't have to deal with this.. But I guess after recent events, I've been thinking.. maybe the cause is something I've ignored for a really long time now.."

Pawo

The shaman finally shifts his gaze to look at London. London's words did not resonate with Pawo. Though certain nerve wracking situations came up, Pawo never felt dissatisfied with the people that surrounded him. "I...I could not possibly know what could cause you to feel this way.." He said almost apologetically.

London

"It's okay if you can't relate." He smiled feeling a tinge of embarrassment. "So the thing is, after we visited Faelian's home and met his family, I realized how different our lives really were. It doesn't come down to just him being an elf and me being a human. When I talked with him a few nights ago, he joked and asked me 'Didn't your mom call you cute?,' as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and then I thought, 'Ah, I guess she didn't, huh?'"

He blinked and stopped himself before continuing. "Considering what happened, I really won't be upset if you want to walk away. I feel horrible for even bringing this up to you right now, but there's a reason for this... and I don't think I can bring myself to say it to anyone else.." The face London looked back at Pawo with was one in pain.

Pawo

Pawo found himself understanding less of London's point. However, London's facial expression was telling enough that something in his past hurt him deeply. "It is all right. I will listen."

London

With Pawo's consent, London returns his gaze to the water beneath his feet and continues. "My relationship with my mother was always strangely distant." He takes a small breath to sigh. "It was strange because while she was the person I spent most of my life with, she also never let me too close. She said it was because she could get sick easily. So I spent most of my time doing what I could to help her but was never allowed to touch her."

London leaned back a bit to kick his legs and laugh. "One time, I even came home with a sprained ankle after a fight with some other kids. She must have been really sick that day because after failing to heal me, she sent me to the store to buy some milk. It was humiliating..."

"But it was because my mother always said things like 'a good person always does what they can to help others, even at their own expense' that I became the kind of person I am today, so I can't be too upset about it."

Pawo

"I had a feeling the conversation would be about your mother." Pawo sighs. "Having three different women nurture me, I can say that every woman has their own way of expressing their love to their child, even if it is..unethical." He paused briefly, a slight glint of sorrow shown in his eyes. London's laugh, while dry, reflected his feelings quite clearly and made Pawo lower his guard. "What your mother would tell you was something my mothers would never say to me and yet I have the same type of mentality that you mentioned. I understood that not through words, but through their actions. Even with the negative consequences of being selfless, the actions they took to preserve the well being of others was inspiring. The story about your childhood...I do not feel like it expresses something inspiring or positive." Pawo bluntly remarks. "At least that is what it seems like to me."

London

London stopped smiling to look back down at his feet again. "..Yeah, that's how I feel about it, too."

"My mother would always say the kindest things, but it was difficult to feel the warmth behind her words. A long time ago I mentioned that she was the one who introduced me to magic, but I never actually learned most of my basic spells until I lived on my own years later. When it came to magic and lots of stuff, it felt like she had no patience with me. The moment I made one mistake, she'd simply smile and say 'You did your best!' and never teach me again. I could ask her over and over again.. 'It was just too hard for you. Not everyone is good at this stuff.' Nothing could impress her.."

"I always thought she was trying to be nice to me because her father - or my grandfather - was too strict on her, or so I heard. But instead, it made every mistake I’d make feel like a knife. I wanted her to acknowledge me and give me the chance to prove myself, but nothing I did was ever good enough. Even now, I'm scared. If I make a mistake, will she hate me? If I don't do what she asks, will she not love me anymore?"

"I've only seen my parents once in the past six years, but for the longest time, they were the only people I could rely on, and I miss them... but I caused so many problems for them... and deep down, I know I only did everything that she asked hoping that maybe she'd give something in return. But that was selfish of me. My mother really is very frail.."

Pawo

This was difficult to hear..but it was at this point that Pawo could finally begin to be more empathetic. "It is important to understand the difficulties of parenthood. Perhaps she felt distant because she did not think about the long term effect it would have on you as an adult. Or perhaps, she made mistakes in the past and has reflected on it since then. I do not think it is selfish..as a son, you have expectations as well. Regardless, it seems...this could be resolved if you visit your parents again. When I saw Drala again...she was so stern with me. I really felt like she did not love me anymore. I never thought she could hit me..it was.." Pawo scowled. He still hated that moment. "It was only later that I realised how much she truly cared about me...and maybe that we both made mistakes."

London

"Yeah... You're right." His shoulders relaxed some and there was finally a hint of relief in his voice. "I was always so scared of what I might see if I go back.. I've thought of so many different scenarios, and after what happened, I think I'm even more scared.. but I need to go home if I ever want to grow past this.." London's voice was so quiet, it was barely audible over the crash of the small waves.

Pawo

"To tell you the truth, London, when I lashed back at Drala, it was thanks to our conversations. I do not think if I talked to you that I would be able to confidently hold my ground. A heavy weight was taken off my shoulders when I told her how I felt. It was...very scary for me to do something like that, but I was able to face my inner conflict much thanks to you." Pawo half smiled as best as he could.

London

London now turned back to look at Pawo with his mouth agape. Thinking back, that was a huge achievement for the rather passive and quiet shaman. His eyes narrowed and he smiled with a soft sigh. "I like seeing you happy.. I'm sure your mother would feel the same. She protected that smile, after all."

He brought his focus back in front of him. Maybe it was too early to say that, but.. "All things considered, I think this really reveals how much you have grown. Despite how strong your feelings were, you maintained control of your powers enough to hold off the spirit with your subconcious powers alone. It was incredible. I'm sure both Mae and Drala were proud."

Pawo

The idea of Mae being proud of her son felt like a hollow pit formed in Pawo's stomach. London changed the whole pace of the conversation when Pawo was attempting to relate to the younger man. There was a sudden tensing in Pawo's chest. "L-like I said, I am not keeping control of my composure for myself. I am not sure if my mother would react now."

London

Just going by the tremble in Pawo's voice, it was easy to tell that was a mistake. London kept his focus on the water. "Ah, yeah. Sorry... I shouldn't speak as if I knew her..." In a moment, he finally moved to stand up again, brushing any picked up dirt off his clothing. When he spoke again, it was as though the depressing conversation never happened. "So the reason I talked about all of this is.............. The forest we're going to is where I first met that deer spirit! We'll actually be really close to where I live, so I might stop by for a visit."

Pawo

Pawo sighs. "It is fine. Maybe I will be able to process my feelings later." Pawo tried to smile faintly in reassurance. "Your old home? I am glad you are considering visiting. I will try to be respectful of course." He instinctually bows for no reason

London

The bow was met with a hand ruffling Pawo's hair and a laugh. "You don't need to try. Compared to the others, you'll already be the most respectful person there even without this knowledge... so don't worry about it." He moved his hand back in order to free Pawo. "I should really thank you for listening to me. With all that was happening, I was unsure whether I should go or not, but I think it really would help me to speak with them again.. whether it's good or bad. At the very least, it can give me some peace of mind.. so thank you."

Pawo

Pawo was not used to having his hair touched by any other man besides Beaford. It was still quite pleasant. London and Beaford hands were more daintier than Drala oddly enough. "It is no problem for me. I enjoy talking to you and seeing you grow as well. The feeling is mutual."

London

The compliment was enough to bring a shy smile to the bard's now-embarrassed face. "Things might be complicated now, but in five years, I bet we'll both be happier. Maybe we'll find out what we want to live for by then, too. We'll have saved Caila and helped tons of people. It's nice to think about things that way, huh?"

Pawo

There was something bittersweet about London's future ambition. Prior to finding out the death of his mothers, Pawo was already so happy to be with Beaford. London's words were fearful as much as they were hopeful. "I would like to believe that, London..but it is best to start making changes now to ensure your future is fulfilling. If you are determined to achieve happiness, then strive for it."

London

Ah. Now he was embarrassed for a different reason. London glances away debating what to say in response without losing his smile. "...We'll see. The first step is visiting my family, so I'll be sure to not run away from it this time.... Hm." With a deep breath, he crosses his arms. "But I was hoping to bring home lots of cash to clean up their debt... I guess that can wait until later."

With no explanation prior, London began digging in one of the bags he was carrying. "I almost forgot. This is yours. It's about time I returned it." He handed Pawo a familiar hot-selling book.

Pawo

"Patience is a virtue, as the wise would say." Pawo nearly recited some old scripture poem. He looked at the book in London's hand. "Oh, one of my favourites." His eyes slightly light up. "Did you finish it?"

London

"Yep!" He grins. Seeing some life return to Pawo's eyes was the best thing to happen that day. "I've got to say... the book really saved me that night I was keeping everyone's illusion disguises up in Ars Abigor. I'm sure I would have fallen asleep without it."

Pawo

"It is quite a compelling read. Word has it that the author is planning on a theatrical production of the story. Quite anticipating, truly." Pawo's pitch highers ever so slightly when he discusses the fantastical series.

London

"A theatrical production? Really?!" He blinked amazed. "I wonder where at.... Maybe the place we saw those dancers?... If you hear any news, keep me posted."

Pawo

"Yes, of course. I would really love to see it." Pawo nods for no reason.

London

"Hehe, me too. Well... It's getting late.. I should give you some time to rest before we go... I should probably take some time to rest, too.... Thanks for listening to me." London smiles and looks at Pawo once more time before turning around. "I'm really glad I met you."

Pawo

"Yes.." Pawo's grin is more genuine and less forced than before upon hearing that. "Likewise. Thank you as well." Pawo looks back at London wistfully before heading in opposite direction.

#c: pawo

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fortune-failing · 6 years

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Faedon Breakup

Day 53 (Night of Session 84) - Ainsley Inn Day 54 (Morning of Session 84) - Ainsley Inn (just prior to London arc)

Summary: Faedon breakup. Gay Level: Medium (3/5)

London

London's hand slid across a wood dresser as he stepped into the inn room. He was unusually observant that night looking around at minor things like the clock and bedframe. Eventually he settled on the windowsill and spent the next few minutes staring outside. He seemed unusually restless in that he simply sat there - not saying a word since arriving.

Faelian

Faelian heads into the room soon after London did and greets him with a simple hello. He soon notices London's sitting staring out the window unusually somber. He heads over to him and glances out the window before looking back at London. "You okay?"

London

Before anyone gets the wrong idea, London did greet Faelian back. He wasn't that out of it. :seduce: He blinked and smiled back at the taller man. "I'm alright."

Faelian

"You sure?" He looks at London for a few moments before looking out the window as well. "What are you watching?"

London

"Not really." His head slumps back. He returns to peering out the glass of the window, resting his temple against the frame. "It's nice here, isn't it? I was just looking around."

Faelian

He sits beside London to also stare out the window. He isn't sure he believes London isn't upset over something but he decides he won't ask just yet. Maybe London would bring it up on his own. "Yeah. It's really pretty. I wish we could walk around and enjoy it but there's probably no chance anytime soon."

London

"Hehe, yeah. With the Red Crown soldiers around, that'd be too dangerous." He moves to make room for Faelian to sit too. "A lot has changed..." Faelian hears him exhale a sigh.

Faelian

"Yeah. We can't afford risks like that.." He tilts his head a little and looks over at the other. "What's changed?" Their travels? The place? Something else?

London

Not turning his head, London's eyes glance back at the blonde. "Us.... The people around us.... You, me... Everything... It's a little scary to think about..."He resumes looking towards the darkness outdoors.

Faelian

Faelian keeps his eyes on London for a few minutes without speaking. Eventually he gives him a small nod. "Yeah. Things have changed. But this isn't the first time I've seen you change. You were different when we first met too. Change is scary, huh? But sometimes change is good. Refreshing even."

London

In those minutes nothing was spoken, London retained a serious face, but after Faelian finally replied a deep sigh was let out. "Gods the atmosphere here is tense!" He brought his knees to his chest to further invite Faelian to sit next to him and smiled while looking directly at him. "You're right. I think it can be good."

Faelian

"Yeah.. I'm really nervous too." He takes London's invite and sits next to him closely. He puts one of his arms around the red bard's back to half hug him. "Yeah, you stopped drinking and bathe more. Those were good. It makes me happy to see you taking better care of yourself."

London

London's smile seems to grow and he nuzzles his head a bit into that awkward half hug. He holds that pose until he finally speaks up once again, backing his head with a serious expression. "Um. After everything that has happened... I think we should break up."

Faelian

Faelian feels sick instantly. It felt like his heart was suddenly stabbed. He lowered his head, hiding his face behind his bangs and felt tears threatening to fall. He's silent for what seems to be a very long time before speaking again. "..But why..? I thought things were getting better..." His hand clings onto the side of London's shirt and he continues hiding his face.

London

His lips shook hearing that pained response. London could have sworn he was breathless but words still managed to fall from his mouth. "Have they? I'm not sure..." He lowered his head taking note of the elf's grip on his shirt. Shit, this was hard. "It's just.. you were right about a lot of things. I overreact too easily and make promises I'm too scared to keep. I don't understand what I want out of life, but here I am making all of these life changing choices, ha ha... I really am just one hell of an idiot..." His voice quieted into a whisper.

"When it comes to love, lust, and friendship, I really can't see the line... Maybe I have actually been looking at it all wrong, and it really is love I don't understand..." ... "I thought I did..." ... "But I don't." ... "Letting things get this far over something I didn't understand was my fault, and I really should have noticed it sooner... There's a lot I have to get passed before I can even consider it, I think...." His mumbles finally come to a stop.

Faelian

He doesn't speak until London is finished and it takes him a while to actually find any words. "...I thought they were.. but maybe I was just hoping they were." Tears fall down his cheeks now, not that London can see them because he's still hiding his face. In fact he pulls his legs up against his chest, wrapping his arms around them and placing his face into his knees.

"..So I guess that's that..." He wasn't going to talk him into staying with him. Not this time. Not after hearing London admit those things. Not while knowing London was right. Not while knowing things would only get worse if he continued to cling onto him like he had. It really hurt though. "...Maybe we can try again someday, when you learn some stuff. ...Maybe.." He sniffles.

London

Now he really was breathless. London held his mouth open searching for the right words to say. If he tried too hard to comfort him, that would just make things worse, wouldn't it? Biting his lip, London looked out the window again. The colorful lights of the city nightscape made him feel dizzy.

"All things considered... I learned a lot by being with you..." A lack of confidence made his voice lower. "You helped me a lot, and I'll always treasure the time that we've spent together..." And lower. "Um..." Ah, now he really was making things worse. He was sure of it.

Faelian

London couldn't even say maybe. Not even when he has all the time in the world now. He couldn't even give him that. Faelian sniffles again and lets out a small sad laugh. "I guess you can't even give me that hope either..? Forget I asked... Okay?"

He really really wanted to leave the room right now. What an awful time for this to hit him. It was too risky to leave. He hugged his legs tighter and continued to silently cry into them.

London

Fuck fuck fuck "W-wait! I didn't mean not to answer! Of course we can probably try again later!! I just got sort of distracted.. or lost in my own thoughts...." Now he didn't know what he was saying. "I'm sure I really do love you! I'm just confused... and um..." London was aware he was fumbling hard. He was sure there was more he had wanted to say, but piecing that together with his current train wreck of a thought process was going to be difficult. "Do you want to have sex right now?!" His voice echoed through the inn room.

Faelian

Faelian finally moves his face from his knees to peek at the other with furrowed brows, most of his face is still hidden. "Do you mean that or are you just saying it because i'm upset? And no way. I absolutely do not want to have sex right now. Don't use sex as an apology or when you don't know what else to do."

London

"I-I mean... I did owe you... and I thought it might make you feel better..." Why was he still talking? London was aware that Faelian's issue was with love and not sex, but shit if this wasn't part of his original plan. "I.." Well, what else was he wanting to say? "Also I'm... happy to be alive right now! To meet you and go on these adventures... and I'll try harder to live from now on... okay..?"

Faelian

"..You dodged the question again. Just tell me honestly, London, or else I won't know what to think." He sits up a little more while looking at the other. It looked like he was done crying for now. "We already talked about that. I don't want apology sex ever again. Just calm down okay? Me crying isn't the end of the world..."

He sniffles again and starts wiping his face with his sleeves. "You are..? You will? ....How come? It was only a few days ago you said the exact opposite."

London

"Wh...what are you wanting to know?..." He could feel the pressure of the window frame behind him. But that was actually caused by the fact he was backing into it, not because the world was closing in on him, he had to remind himself. With heavy breaths London looked back, assessing Faelian's now less watery blue eyes and ready to attempt answering the final set of heavy questions. "I............think....?" Godfuckingdammitlondon. Even he was starting to feel a little impatient with himself.

Faelian

Faelian watched London silently until he answered him. He sighed heavily and looked down at his knees. "...So you really can't answer.. well don't worry because I won't ask it again.."

"Anyway.. i'm not sure I believe you but.. if you really will try harder to live then i'm glad.. " He gives the other bard a small sad smile.

London

In return, it was clear London was very distraught and confused. "Um... hold on.. I'm not sure what you were asking..." Everything was blurring. He blinked and wiped some of his own tears off his face.

Faelian

Faelian frowns and he feels tears of his own threaten to fall once again at seeing London wiping his own face like that. "H-Hey! Don't cry.. it's okay.. I'll ask again.. so please calm down.." He moves to sit beside London and takes his hand and gives it a squeeze between both of his own. "Take a few deep breaths okay?"

London

Shit "I.. I'm not! Don't look at me! It's embarrassing!" London waved him off and turned further towards the frame. Embarrassing... He sighed heavily.

After a few minutes passed, he spoke up again, more calm than he was a bit ago. "....I shouldn't answer you right now. I'm still confused. I really don't understand anything, and I don't want to give false hopes or expectations based on that. I'm sorry, Faelian.."

"The truth is I want to believe in love, and I want to believe I love living and life, but maybe I'm just fooling myself... I don't think I'll truly understand anything 'till later... If I ever do..." His purple eyes finally glanced back.

Faelian

He wanted to say something to London about having cried his own eyes out just now and to not call it embarrassing but he decided against it. Now wasn't the time. Faelian just silently held onto London's hand for now. It was like he thought. London couldn't make him this promise.. not even after all those things he'd said to him in the past. London really couldn't keep any promises and now he couldn't even make them.

"..Alright, London. That's fair.. I wouldn't want you to lie to me anyway.. I still hope we can try again in the future but.. um.." He trails off. "Don't worry about it alright?" He glances at London and pats his hand. "I'm sure you'll understand someday.. Or at least.. I hope you can, for yourself."

London

"Yeah...." Weren't there other things he wanted to say? His mind was totally blank now. All he could think to do was hold Faelian's hand back silently.

Faelian

Faelian lets the silence hang in the air for a while before speaking. "Are you feeling alright now?"

"I'm sorry I got so worked up.. I.. didn't realize that it was that hard for you too..." He look down, feeling ashamed.

London

"You don't need to apologize... I'm the one who should be sorry. If I didn't rush into everything, then you wouldn't have needed to deal with all the stress I put you through.... Well.... If I didn't take everything out of proportion...then that could have helped, too..." He sighs and releases Faelian's hand after what felt like an hour. (It wasn't actually an hour.) "Sorry."

Faelian

"I made mistakes too.. and didn't see things were as bad as they were so.. don't worry about it. We've been stressing each other out without meaning to for a while now so it'll be nice to not have to worry about stuff anymore..." The last sentence is spoken much more quietly than the rest and he sighs softly afterwards. He wanted to ask something else but.. maybe later.. if it came up again anyway.

Now that his hand was free he moved and opened the window. His face was tired and hot from crying and the night air felt really nice on his skin. He leaned his head on the window pane and just looked at the night sky.

London

"Mm..." It was difficult to know what to say to that. London chose to focus on his hands after Faelian let in the seasonal breeze. It did feel nice at least...

Faelian

Faelian stayed quiet for a little while longer. It was hard to know what to say after everything had happened. He eventually moved away from the window and covered up in the bed. "Um.. I guess i'm just going to go to sleep now."

London

"Huh? Already?!" It was like London snapped out of a trance. "If you want..."

Faelian

"..I'm just not sure what to say now.. I don't mind talking more though..."

London

"I.. don't know what to say, either... Maybe it's for the best." He returned to looking out the window. "I'll probably be awake for a while longer."

Faelian

"Alright. Goodnight London. Sleep well.. and um.. I love you. So don't ever doubt that, okay?" He moves a little under the covers before getting comfortable.

London

It was already out of sight from Faelian, but London opened his mouth to reply but stopped himself. A quiet 'goodnight' was heard then only silence. Then after a little more time a quieter 'I love you, too'.

Faelian

Faelian didn't say anything but he appreciated hearing it. He laid still trying to doze off.

London

In the passing silence an even quieter voice spoke out. "Are you really sure you don't want to have sex?...."

Faelian

He lays there with his eyes closed for a few moments without reacting to those words. "Positive." He opens his eyes and looks back at the other. "...Maybe next time."

London was so confusing.

...

He propped himself up a little and furrowed his brows at the other. "Does that mean you still want to be friends that are closer than normal friends? Because if you're offering me apology sex again I might smack you.”

London

London looked back at him with his arms wrapped loosely around his legs, smiling. "I don't know... It's not an apology at least. I'll stop nagging you and let you sleep."

Faelian

Faelian gives him a small smile back. "Alright. Goodnight again, London." He gets comfortable under the blankets again.

It really annoyed him that the other was so confused about what he wanted. At least now he might calm down some.. He hoped so anyway.

The next morning

London

It seems London did not move from his spot by the window and now continued sleeping there even with the morning light covering him and the noise of the city outside.

Faelian

When Faelian returned from a conversation with Pawo he noticed right away that London was asleep by the window sill. He just watched him for a while before laying on the bed. He wondered why things had to be so difficult with the other bard. He still felt that disappointed feeling tug at his heart and stomach. He didn't even know what to expect between them anymore.

He sighed heavily and slowly sat up.

London

A loud noise of a crash nearby startled that bard, and he began looking around for answers. His eyes settled on Faelian and instead of assessing the noise, he assessed his memories of the last night.

"Good morning...." He spoke but still sounded a little tired.

Faelian

"...Good morning.." What was so good about it...? "You should have slept in the bed. You'll get a crick in your neck sleeping like that."

London

"Yeah... but it was so comfy!" He fakes a laugh after delivering his weak excuse. "Um, are you going to be okay today?"

Faelian

"Somehow I doubt that's comfortable." Faelian looks at his hands for a few moments and then back up at London. He gives him a small nod. "Yeah..."

London

That seemed less likely than feeling comfortable sleeping on a windowsill, but London didn't want to call him out on that. He stared down at his feet for a few minutes. "Do you think breaking up is a mistake?"

Faelian

He shakes his head. "No. With the way you've been stressed out and overwhelmed by everything it's probably for the best... I just.. I don't know what to expect between us now, I guess.."

London

"I really don't know if it will be better or worse for me...." He continues looking at his feet. "But I do know I should have handled things better instead of... leaping before I look I guess.... It's a bad habit of mine, huh?"

Faelian

"It will probably be better.. You won't have to worry as much about everything." He reaches over and pats London's hand. "Yeah, you kinda do. You gotta get out of that habit.."

London

"I don't really feel better.... but things are about to get tense, so I wanted to settle this beforehand, I guess.. I don't want to risk taking things out on you. We should probably distance eachother some." His head lowers. "But now I feel really alone. I shouldn't rely completely on you, but I also shouldn't push everyone away. This is a mess. I really don't know what I'm doing."

Faelian

"I don't really understand what this has to do with that but.. I appreciate that you don't want to take things out on me." He furrows his brows and frowns. "I don't want to distance myself from you.. why do you even think we should do that? If you need some space that's fine but I don't want you to push me away, it's not fair. I'm your friend before anything else London and it's not right to try to push me away completely. I'll be here for you whether you like it or not."

London

London nods before looking up at him. "You mean it?"

Faelian

Faelian nods strongly. "You better not try to push me away like before. I'll be really mad at you. I told you that I always wanted to be your friend. And I'll always be here for you."

London

"Of course I don't want you completely away!!" He corrects himself with more intensity than probably is necessary. "I mean.... last night, I was kind of insensitive. I shouldn't cling to you for love just because I'm feeling lonely, but I feel like it's something I'm bound to do. I need to get stronger. Strong enough to not depend on anyone else. Ah..."

He sighs backs away enough to peer at the ceiling. "I scolded you for this exact same thing before. I'm sorry..."

Faelian

Faelian gives a short nod with an intense look. "Good." At least that had been reassured. "Yeah. It was insensitive... and sex and love aren't the same thing anyway. Asking to hold me would have been much better if you wanted to feel comforted."

"I think you do need to get stronger.. things upset you too easily.. but getting stronger doesn't have to mean not depending on anyone. It's good to be able to depend on yourself more but everyone has to depend on someone else sometimes. Don't try to handle everything on your own."

London

"N-no way!" London spoke up. "If I asked you to hug me, then I might as well say 'Forget what I said and let's never break up, Faelian.' It was already hard enough to say things as it was..."

He sighs. "I am overreacting, though. It's just scary to think about... We'll see how it goes. As for the future... well... let's just stay focused on being friends for the time being. We just broke up, so it'd be stupid to say things like 'let's get back together later' or 'wait for me to grow up some, and we'll see'. I just told you last night I was going to stop making promises I wasn't sure about. I don't want to get your hopes up over something that I can't guarantee. I do love you... just as friends, I guess.. There's a lot I need to learn about love before I try something like that again..."

Faelian

"Would it have really been like that? Friends hug too you know.."

He sighs softly. "At least you tried... I had some fun and I'll miss being so close with you but It really is for the best..." He messes with his own hands while looking down at them. "Alright.."

"I love you too London, in both kind of ways. But yeah.. it seems like you have a lot to learn before trying something like that again." He stresses the words a lot. "And it really is better if you don't make any promises you can't keep anymore at all."

London

London opened his mouth to debate but then thought maybe it'd be better not to. "I've always had fun with you, and hopefully that won't ever change." He instead smiled then turned to look outside. "And, well... I think we both needed to learn a thing or two from this... Wasn't it too soon to be making promises like that in the first place... We've only been dating a month now..."

Faelian

"I've always had a lot of fun with you too, London. I hope that won't change either."

"It's true that I need to learn some things too but.. not as much as you." He scratches into his hair and lets out a soft sigh. "Yeah but.. i'm a sucker for romantic stuff and they really made me happy... So it's better if you think before making promises in the future."

London

"I know what I did wrong... but what I'm saying is, you shouldn't have agreed to a lifelong promise to live your life with someone the day you started dating them, too." He stares out the window, continuing to avoid looking in the elf's direction. "And even then, it's silly to take it all so seriously... I really got way too worked up over everything this entire time, thinking I owed it and stuff, but that's not what love is... We were both children thinking we could plan our future together after only just starting a relationship."

Faelian

Faelian flops back on the bed and sighs heavily. "I know..I know." Her rubs at his face and sighs again. "It's not like all this hasn't taught me anything. I know that you're right. I can't help but feel disappointed though but i'll get over it."

London

"Yeah, it is disappointing, isn't it?..." He sounded glum but then beamed up. "Next time, you should make sure it's someone who agrees with your idea of a future wholeheartedly, so there's no room for mistakes! Oh, also make sure they're not just lonely. I guess that's a big thing too..." London smiled and looked back towards the other man on the bed.

"Also even if we're not in a relationship, I don't think I'll be against sex sometimes. And you're right, comforting each other is a friend-thing to do, too! We really don't have to change things too much, I think."

Faelian

He lets out another heavy sigh. "Yeah... It's not too bad at least." He mumbles out the last bit. "I don't think there will be a next time for a while and when there is a next time I think i'm going to be less serious in new relationships."

He moves to lay on his side and look at London. "You don't mind?" London really was confusing but he wasn't against that idea. "Alright then, it's good that too much won't change. I really like sleeping beside you and stuff."

London

London smiles looking back at him, but inwardly he's sweating. "W-well, I mean! We should change things some.... Otherwise, nothing is different... If you're feeling sad, I want to talk to you. And if you want to have sex, then I might be up for that... but I didn't mean sleeping next to each other overnight per se..." He grows quiet.

Faelian

There's that drop again, and it probably shows. "Well, of course some things have to change but.. I thought that part might stay.. it's alright though. Don't worry about it." He really couldn't understand London and he was starting to feel like he never had or ever will.

London

With that said, London finally stands. "We can still cuddle sometimes! Don't feel too down. We just shouldn't make a habit of it." Then stretches. "Anyway, we should probably eat and stuff soon. There's lots of Upper Keep break in planning to be done!" He keeps a close eye on Faelian wondering how he's taking all of this.

Faelian

He just hums in response. It's obvious he's not happy with the situation but at least he's not crying. "Yeah, we should get ready. I think i'll go take a bath and get dressed for the day."

London

"Ah, um, Faelian!" London's voice raises, and he now gives him all of the attention he can muster.

Faelian

He looks back at the other. "Yeah?"

London

"There were two other things I wanted to say!" Now London walks across the room closer to the bed the man was lying on. "First... There is something I haven't said, but there's a reason I haven't told you about it yet... I don't want you to think I'm lying or hiding things, but if I talked about it, then I'll definitely break down... It will be obvious in a little while."

He clears his throat. "And second.... I want to hear your side of things! I've talked so much, but there must be something you want to say! Even if we're friends, we can still talk about eachother's problems, right?"

Faelian

What was London talking about? What would be obvious soon? "Um.. okay.. is it something bad? Is everything going to be okay?" He slowly sits up and frowns at the other.

He looks down again, at his hands, just so that he doesn't have to look up at the other. "What can I even say? Things are settled and that's that. Things are going to be even more different than before.. and I'm disappointed and a little scared."

London

London waves a hand and continues to smile. "It'll be fine, don't worry! All I have to ask is a... possibly really selfish request." The smile fades to a grimace and he looks away awkwardly. That didn't come out right. He resumes smiling! Until he hears the rest of what Faelian had to say. Then he frowns. "Hm.... Well it's just a breakup after a month's dating, it's not the end of the world, yeah! It seems natural to be disappointed and a little scared, but I'm sure things will pick up again..." Saying that, he offered the blond a pat on the shoulder, hoping that would help reassure him.

Faelian

Faelian frowns more. London's words just made him worry. What was going to happen? "Alright just.. don't get into any trouble, okay? And come to me if you need help or to talk, okay?"

"It's just going to be weird and lonely sleeping alone after so long.. don't worry about it." He gives London's hand a few small pats. "I guess i'm also scared that you'll just continue to try to push me away again, like before."

London

"You don't have to be alone. There are plenty of people around! I'll probably use the time to try to get to know the others more, too... I've kind of been distancing myself from everyone recently, I think..." London continued holding on to Faelian's shoulder. "I promise I won't try to hook you up with others again, too, but after things are over I might try traveling on my own again just so I can get strong enough to not depend on other people.. You understand why I need this, don't you?" He looked back at him, staring intensely into Faelian's crystal blue eyes.

Faelian

"I meant without sleeping beside you like we have for a long time. I'm certainly not sleeping beside any of the other members of our group. Anyway, like I said, it's fine." He didn't like it but there was nothing to be done about it anyway.

Faelian looks down for a few moments and then back at London with a very worried look. "Yeah.. it's fine if you wanna travel alone for a while but.. you'll still contact me and meet up sometimes, right? You won't just push me away and vanish from my life, right?"

London

"Aw, don't be like that! It's as you said, everyone's friendly! They probably won't mind. And it's not like you're shy about sleeping next to friends." London clung onto the elf grinning. "Remember how quick you asked to sleep next to me when we first met? All it took was a bath and some time together. You don't need to deny yourself this simple pleasure."

And then he sat back up again. "It will still be easy to contact you. Hopefully, I'll be able to contact everyone. We'll see how it goes when the time comes...." Then after a moment's thought- "Are you sure you understand? Why I want to travel on my own, that is? Just a bit ago you said I should depend on others.. But the thing is, as long as we're stuck together like this, I'll never feel like I can live without you. And I don't consider that a good thing. That's just scary.. I'd just feel obligated to stay by you or else feel like I'll be lonely otherwise. I don't consider that love. It's just sad... We both have a lot to learn..."

Faelian

Faelian grumbles. "Forget it. I'm not going to. The only one I would even consider is Beaford and he's probably not up for that. And i'm not up for that anytime soon either."

"You better contact me when you can. I won't be able to call you a friend if you drift away and vanish. I'll be really mad at you too. I might never forgive you even!" He furrows his brows and nods. "I do understand. I really do. I don't consider that love either and I don't want that even if you would give it to me. All I meant earlier was that everyone has to depend on someone every now and then. Don't forget that. And don't misunderstand it as me telling you it's good to be dependent on someone else all the time."

"When all of this is over i'm going home for a while."

London

What a strong response... Under his breath, London mumbled. "But you just said it was going to be weird and lonely without it..." He sighed. "I know the stuff with Noronir left a bad taste in your mouth... If we stop talking, I'm sure there'd be some reason for it to happen, so we'll see... Do you contact all of your friends often like that?"

Faelian

"I was just complaining because i'll miss sleeping beside you. I'm allowed to complain without being comforted." He huffs a little and then looks awkward. "I uh.. I don't really have any other close friends. Why is it weird to want to contact you every now and then? Wouldn't it weirder to not contact you after spending the last few years by your side?"

London

"Right, right." There was a teasing tone in London's answer.

He looks to Faelian's side again. "I just thought it was funny you'd be so unforgiving after you went easy on Noronir. Cut me some slack." He smiled. "Also, you told me you were good at making friends, but that doesn't sound like a very good track record. We'll see how it goes." He makes a final attempt to reassure him.

"If I don't contact you, there will probably a reason. I can just be kind of forgetful sometimes. But it's like you said: Now that I drank the eternal youth potion, we have plenty of time to part ways and meet up again. I'm sure it will be fine."

Faelian

"That's because you would be repeating what he did while knowing how much it already hurt me. And I hope i'm not that forgettable." He huffs more and then sighs. "I can make them easily. I just never bothered to keep in contact with the ones I made back then. I traveled a lot and didn't get close to them."

"Yeah, that is true. But I still want you to contact me every now and then. It shouldn't be that hard for you to do that much for me."

London

"Well there's your problem. You should try to make more friends you will keep in contact with for the long run. That's what I should do, too, I guess.." His words draw out . "But don't take it too personally. I've never had people to contact before, so I'm new to this. If I make a mistake, it's not on purpose."

"But saying that... Shouldn't you get strong enough to handle saying bye to your friends sometimes? I know it was rude of Noronir to not leave a letter, but it's not completely 'no forgiveness' worthy, is it? I mean he was only gone one year out of your one thousand year life.... You aren't losing that much time." London lies back on the bed before glancing back up to the back of the elf's head. "How often are you expecting to be contacted anyway?"

Faelian

"Believe me, I plan on it. I want more friends too and more people to contact." He runs his hand through his hair while thinking. "Alright.... I'll keep that in mind... Just try not to forget to do it every now and then..."

"I don't really need a lecture, London. I plan on getting stronger and I already know that i'll have to say goodbye to a lot of friends throughout my life. I have the right to feel sad when saying goodbye to someone. I already forgave Noronir.. and he was only gone from the stronghold for that long but he was out of my life for ten years."

He looks back at the bard laying down. "I was hoping for every few weeks or at least once a month.." He really hoped for more but with the way it sounded London probably didn't want that.

London

"Heh. You know you can only blame Noronir for one of those years. The rest were your own doing." London sounded too smug for his own good. "It's still hard to believe he came back just after you left... Fate works in strange ways sometimes, huh?..."

"But we'll see how it goes!" He sits up quickly with more energy than before. "By that point, I'll need to get in the habit of contacting my parents and everyone else, too. I'm sure I'll get lots of practice!"

Faelian

"Maybe.." He fiddles with his hands while watching them again. They really were interesting lately. "...Maybe i'll really chew him out when I visit." He huffs a little and looks back at the other again. "You made me realize he never really answered anything I asked him at all. He's sneaky in conversations, just like you."

"Good, you better..."

London

London blinked. "H-huh?! You don't need to chew him out.... I helped give you a chance to talk to him, but you said you didn't want to press him for answers, remember?..." His eyes narrow at the memory. "Then you said, you got the idea, and let it go."

We'll see... He adds in telepathy.

Faelian

"Hmph.." He crosses his arms. "Don't worry.. I won't really. I'm not even talking about the conversation that you heard. I meant when I talked to him privately out on the balcony. He didn't answer anything but I was just.. so happy to see him and talk to him. I kept jumping from subject to subject with him while he half answered all my questions.. When I think back on it now I feel like a fool."

"I guess we will see..." He says outloud and not in telepathy. He gets up from the bed and starts gathering his clothes for the day. while gathering up his clothes he speaks again. "...What should we have for breakfast?"

London

"He probably has his reasons... It was probably a tough time. You can try mailing him anytime for more answers, can't you?" London was just starting to get more comfortable on the bed when Faelian got up. "How about some fruit?"

Faelian

"I'm sure he does but.. I'm tired of being treated like a child and not being told the truth about things. I want people to treat me like an equal and there are things that I deserve to know. There's a better chance of him giving in if i'm there looking at him."

"Fruit sounds good. I guess i'll get some pastries then and some juice. But for now I'm going to go bathe. I'll be back shortly." He gives London a small wave with his hand while heading towards the bathroom.

London

London smiles. "I think that would be good. For both of you."

And then he sits up. "Before you go! I'm actually going to head on downstairs... We're about to infiltrate Upper Keep, so I'm feeling kind of anxious. I'll probably go ahead and work on some planning. Meet me there. Um, also..."

Faelian

Faelian nods. It would be good for them. He pauses when London speaks to him again and turns around to look at him. "Alright. I'll meet you down there then. ...Yeah?"

London

"Are you sure you'll be okay today?... You won't be too unlike your usual self? I don't want this to make things difficult..." He lowers his head.

Faelian

He glances away for a few moments before answering. "Yeah.. I'll be okay. You worry too much."

London

London sighs. "I know how lonely you get. I think I have a good reason to worry.. I'll see you later then."

Faelian

"It's fine. I'll see you later." He starts to head towards the bathroom again.

#c: faelian

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Pawdon - Before Crow

(After session 74 -- Highland Village of Tieflings)

Summary: There was a Pawford skit that happened right after it which was mostly the same convo. + London makes a weirdly accurate guess of what Drala is like. Some old London plan hints because this was right before he threw the apathy potion out the window. Gay Level: Medium (3/5)

London

Thinking back, the whole day had been pretty chaotic. Between the pickpocketing incident at Rok Mhigi, the trek up the mountain, the ambush and kidnapping of the tieflings, and the visions of the water sphere, but clearly one person would have been more affected by it than the others. London stepped out of the inn to find a familiar aroma in the air. "Pawo, are you alright?" He really should have second guessed that decapitation. He held back a groan and approached the older man.

Pawo

Lighting his pipe, Pawo tries his best to relax and forget what he experienced today yet it continues to be the longest day of his life. He turns around at London's voice, making a perplexed expression. "Maybe it is best I simply meditate on today then dwell on the thoughts." He smiles weakly, attempting to be reassuring

London

Despite the fumes, London steps closer and takes a spot standing next to the shaman and glimpses over the mountainous peaks backdropping the village. "That smithy from earlier... Is that where your mentor went? When she got the dagger? You know the one."

Pawo

"Well, I suspect that it must be Senri. I believe Drala said she worked with the best blacksmith she could find. Senri does not know who I am though." He chuckled, trying to smoke away from London.

London

"So it was her...!" He voiced in quiet enthusiasm. "Why didn't you tell her? Would your mentor be difficult to remember or something?"

Pawo

Pawo scratched his chin. "I could always be wrong..the dagger is unquestionably her work. They have been friends for more than my life time..I believe. Senri even went to Yukar, that is quite magnificent and flattering to hear from a foreigner." Pawo took out the gifted dagger. It resembled the one he always had in his possession, detailed engraved demon faces that circled the top of a dull edge.

London

London looks over Pawo's shoulder so similarly admire its craft. "She's quite talented. Imagining that they got along is nice too....." He delays a bit before continuing. "M-maybe... She could have said how your mentor was or where she might be traveling....." Holding his breath for only a second, London glimpses at Pawo's face to judge his reaction to the idea.

Pawo

"I cannot comment on her interactions with other people..Drala is a difficult person, like Alicia. She usually keeps herself hushed, I am not even sure Senri would disclose any information about her." Pawo did not smile, but was not visibly upset either. He respected Drala's decisions greatly but felt close to her at the same time. "It has been a very long time since I have seen her last.."

London

"You mean, even if it involves her student? Senri might tell something.. It couldn't do any harm to ask, could it?" His voice rose as he tried to sound optimistic.

Pawo

"Y-you mean soon?"

London

"Well, yeah! We're going to be back in town tomorrow, right? Let's give it a shot!" London smiled. The way he imagined Pawo's teacher was like a quiet, beautiful lady like Alicia, but older and more solemn - similar to Pawo in demeanor. Maybe with a bit of a short-temper? He had no idea where that thought came from, but if she could kick ass, that would be cool, too. "It'd be neat if we could see her. Probably a weight off of your shoulders, too. It'd be great if we were given the chance."

Pawo

"Seeing Drala at a time like this...I would rather not..I do not even know if anyone from back home worries about me in all honesty." Pawo laughed awkwardly. He was a bit shaken by the thought. "I never told Beaford about her.."

London

Doesn't know if anyone back home worries about him? "Is that something you're worried about? The fact you aren't sure if anyone at Yukar is worried about you I mean. I don't see why you'd bring it up otherwise..." His voice trails off.

Pawo

"I only brought that up because I am worried about them myself. Drala...she is one that can manage on her own just fine. Like a baby bird leaving it's mother nest ..something I kept experiencing back home. Perhaps they value my independence."

London

"Huh... Maybe..." Sounding unconvinced, London moved his head to the side. "So... what you're saying is you do want to see them someday... but not right now? When would be a good time then?"

Pawo

"..After we save Princess Caila?" He looks up, trying to think. "I truly hope nobody wanted to travel to Yukar because of what Senri announced."

London

"Haha, that makes sense...." The latter statement becomes a distraction. "What did Senri announce?" London sounds surprised, revealing this was something he had not heard before.

Pawo

"Did everyone not hear..?" Pawo asks a bit worriedly

London

"I... I guess not?" His eyes blink and he stares at Pawo. Just what did Senri say to him? "So what happened at Yukar? You sound concerned?" London's eyebrows furrowed.

Pawo

"The Red Crown occupied territory there. A bit of a colonial situation if you were to ask me. Yukar cannot fight back..there is no military they can defend themselves with so Senri spoke about refuges escaping the land." Pawo explained. There was a slight tremor in his voice but he tried to remain calm.

London

"And you don't want us to go?..."

Pawo

"I do not. How will we fix anything? That seems absurd and extreme to me."

London

"I see... I guess you may be right...." With a sigh, he looked downwards. "Then... maybe if we talk to Caila, and she reclaims the throne, she can fix things?"

Pawo

"When the politics of Litskaedun are fixed, I have hopes Nonis will have no reason to reign over my land." Pawo tried to sound optimistic apart from the huge thing driving him to an emotional turmoil.

London

"If we cooperate with Caila, I'm sure we can manage something." He patted Pawo's shoulder, then took a step forward. "So... anything else bothering you at this moment? I can't imagine that was all... We really went through a lot today."

Pawo

"Erm..I do not even know..so many things have happened at once that I cannot begin to process them altogether. If I calm my nerves..maybe I will be able to understand my situation more clearly." Pawo spoke truthfully but he sometimes wished that wasn't how he could deal with things. He was never a person who handled problems head on and needed time and patience.

London

"You didn't know? It's easier to process stuff when you say it out loud. Give it a try." London stood in front of Pawo and baited him with a smile.

Pawo

"I-is that so?" Pawo becomes flustered. "The clapping game is a bit different on principle.."

London

"W-well it doesn't have to be that loud!..." Clapping game? Maybe he gave the wrong impression. "Just close your eyes and tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when I say 'Tell me what's bothering you.' Whether it's a vision or phrase... Or anything....?"

Pawo

"First thing that comes to mind...okay...please close your eyes as well." Pawo anxiously bit on his pipe

London

"Sure...." He does this thinking Pawo is just shy.

Pawo

Pawo closes his eyes tightly. He inhales and exhales deeply before uttering "Mother" in a husked voice. Images appear in his mind of his childhood, the immediate moment she smiled at him, both the first and last time. The first being so full of life and the second dreadful and despairing.

London

"You're worried about her?"

Pawo

Pawo nods, eyes still closed

London

"Is it just because of what you heard Senri say?"

Pawo

"Not just that...at first it was.." Pawo lets out a deep sigh

London

"There was another thing?..." He tried not to open his eyes. Speaking about his mother must have been quite worrying for Pawo.

Pawo

"The vision I saw..I could not pin it as her voice but..it sounded so familiar. Like someone calling out to me..someone I knew...I had my true sight activated but it was not strong enough to tell." Pawo furrowed his brow

London

London couldn't resist opening his eyes upon hearing that. "You heard her? Wh-what else can you recall from the vision?" Quickly realizing the error, he closed his eyes shut yet again.

Pawo

Pawo placed his hand on his face. He rubbed his temples in frustration. "It felt hollow..like a memory I never had."

London

"Do you think it could be the future?..." It was a wild guess, but knowing the orb was dark when Pawo touched it made it all the more foreboding considering..

Pawo

"I can never predict..I just..want her to be safe..please Mother.." For a moment, Pawo forgot he was talking to London. His eyes were still closed and his memories kept flooding into his mind. The way he called out her name had a different tone than usual as it was a higher pitch and much more gentle.

London

It seemed like Pawo needed this moment to express his feelings for his family. London could only stand in silence hearing this new voice of Pawo's. Was this the same way he spoke to his mother? It sounded a bit child-like - completely different from his usual serious way of speaking. After some time, London finally broke his silence and opened his eyes just to touch a hand on Pawo's head. "I think you've said enough for now. It must be difficult.."

Somehow, he was having trouble relating to the feeling.

Pawo

The shaman opens his eyes and blinks. He realizes where he is and sighs, agonized. "I apologize..London." His voice reverts to his usual low pitted tone. "I am not sure how much speaking aloud helped me in the end..."

London

"Well, it at least made one thing clear. More than anything you are concerned for your mother. When we go back, maybe we can ask Senri if she's heard anything else. If refugees are escaping, your mother might be on the mainland now."

Pawo

Pawo grips his fingers on his beads anxiously. "Maybe.."

London

Ah. Maybe he did stop the talk too soon... "At the very least, we know the Red Crown isn't the type to kill people, so at least we can believe she's not injured. Let's try to stay hopeful. Erm. Was there anything else on your mind?"

Pawo

"Senri did tell me nobody is injured. I suppose....I just do not feel the need to indulge in my own happiness and pleasures anymore..knowing she is suffering." Again, Pawo's words were harsh and agonizing.

London

Ah...... This sounds difficult. "Do you think she would really want that? This is the prime of your life. You've got to live it while you can! You're engaged with Beaford now, right? These moments won't last forever. It will just make you both sad in the end if you hold back on her account. N-not that I'm saying you should ignore her dilemma completely! But you know--moderation is the key! Correct? If you really want to do something for her, then let's work together to seek out info about her and the other refugees when we're in towns or cities. Sulking won't help anyone, but if we act, maybe it can benefit both of you."

Pawo

Pawo dims his pipe. He stares at it and pauses before talking. "I do not know what she would want anymore." He does not lift his head but shifts his gaze to London. "I agree. We should help other refuges. It is not just about my feelings."

London

"You've told me that your mother taught you things about love and compassion, and that she raised you with great care and devotion all on her own! Every time we've seen a mother, you've held great respect for them just because they reminded you of your own mother. If you are trying to convince me that for some reason your mother doesn't care about your happiness anymore, then you'd better think again." London closed his eyes and with some difficulty, he continued. "Um... Hey Pawo, when she left, did she say anything?"

Pawo

The shaman feels a pit in his stomach. "I..I want to think that. For the most part, I have remained optimistic until I saw the vision and heard of the news. Nothing can prevent me from believing her love for me is eternal." Even with such a heartfelt statement, Pawo frowns. "Mother.. Mother told me to not enter the spirit realm anymore, for some reason. She never explained why. That is what she said is best for me. Drala thought the opposite." He laughed quietly.

London

"Even in the vision she was calling your name... There's no doubt she wants the best for you, so... just try not to hold back on anything just for her sake... I think that your happiness is just as important to her, if not more important, than her own." London held his eyes closed a bit more. It wasn't difficult to imagine the pain Pawo must be feeling right now. He finally opened them to look at him again. "Erm.. You've been to the spirit realm anyway, right? Nothing happened.. I wonder why she said that.... Um. Were you awake when she left? Sorry if this is insensitive to ask... I was just wondering how clear it was that she walked away intentionally... I guess..."

Pawo

Pawo processes London's thoughts instead of replying to them. He looks downcast for the most part, circling his thumb over various beads adorned on his body. "She forced me to leave. Right in front of her."

London

"So it was like that...." Shit. He didn't want to end the conversation on a bad note.... "If she said that after telling you not to enter the spirit realm.. I wonder if something happened there...."

Pawo

Pawo clicked his tongue. "Who knows. In any case, I forgave her."

London

"Hm. I guess...." It had been years ago. It really was better to not bring the past back up. London found himself subconsciously playing with something in his pocket. "Oh... Pawo! Um, this is kind of a weird request, but can you hear me out for a moment?..." While his tone had its usual cheer, his voice seemed distant somehow. London moved back against the wall and admired the mountains once more - mostly just to avoid gazing at Pawo as he spoke.

Pawo

Pawo looked up to meet London's eyes. "Hm? What is it?"

London

London averted Pawo's eyes with a flustered look on his face.

"Sometimes when I'm not feeling so well, I look at that bracelet you made me, and it makes me feel a bit happier. The fact that you called me your friend and considered all of my actions up until that point kindhearted - you don't know how much that means to me. Handmade crafts aren't something you receive everyday.. Sure, at first, I was really suspicious and thought you were just saying stuff to sound nice, but since getting to know you more, I can tell that you really truly do believe in me, and it makes me so happy to be your friend."

"I guess the reason I'm saying this is - and it's not confirmed or anything - but I might do something that you won't approve of sometime soon.. I don't think you will like it... but it's for the people I cherish most, and it's something I've been thinking about for quite some time now.. My first request is sort of extreme, but if I do go through with it... if things ever get out of hand, and if I start abusing my powers, I want you to seal my magic like you did with that daemon hunter guy. I don't believe this will be necessary, but I want to make precautions just in case.. because I don't want to become someone I hate, you know? I'm just a little paranoid is all."

"My second request is that no matter what happens, please remember me for who I am now." London turned his head further and further away from Pawo's. This was all heavy stuff to say. "And, um, thanks for being my friend up until now." He glanced back.

Pawo

Pawo listened carefully. Despite the flattery and positive words, Pawo's expression remained neutral. If anything, he felt a bit worried listening to London try to justify something vague. "London...I appreciate the sentiment, and I believe you should value your life...but..is this the best idea for right now? S-sealing your powers in the midst of our journey? I do not think I could do that to you..or anyone. Otherwise, Aneris would not know the name of destruction." The last remark could be taken as a joke if it was anyone but Pawo saying it. Pawo paused, trying to collect his thoughts, still slightly confused. "I am not truly sure what this is about..I would like to support you if it does not come of the expense of harming others. I will surely cherish any memories we have but..surely you must understand this is concerning information to receive."

London

"I-it will be fine, you'll see! I'm still not even sure if it's happening, so I don't want you to think about it too much. Sorry if I worried you." London laughs and finally turns to look at Pawo once more. "You have a point, so just forget about what I said until after we help Caila. Then if it ever becomes relevant later, remember my request, okay?" He winks.

Pawo

"Be careful, London." Pawo glared at him. "You do not need to apologize for my sake, just think of yourself."

London

London just smiled and stepped away. "Anyway, I might go ahead and check out that water orb thing to see if it has anything I should know. Thanks for sharing what you saw Pawo!"

Pawo

Strange....Pawo thought. He felt like lighting another blend but decided against it and went back to Beaford, waving to London.

#c: pawo

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

You Won’t Believe This Secret London’s Been Hiding

(After Session 40. Night 1.

London changed the channel name: beaford gets memed

London

While Beaford was walking he heard a voice call out to him, "Hey boy. You, red hood guy. Red hood guy who looks like he might pass out at any moment. You heard me." Roll perception?

Beaford

/r 1d20 + 3

Diebot of VinBOT

@Beaford:

1d20 + 3

= (16)+3 = 19

London changed the channel name: london gets memed

London

Not only could Beaford recognize the voice as London's, he could tell the voice was being projected to a nearby dog, and he could also tell the source of the voice was hiding around a nearby street corner.

Beaford

Beaford ignored the dog and walked towards the street corner to find London. "I'm not that close to passing out, thank you very much."

London

London's eyes widened being caught as soon as he started the prank. He crossed his arms, "Wow, guess I shouldn't risk underestimating a ranger. You know I'm not serious, hehe..."

Beaford

"Yeah, I know." Beaford sighs. "Were that going to go somewhere or were you just trying to pull a prank on me?"

London

"Yeah, I was just thinking of hanging out with you. Were you going somewhere? I'll tag along, if it's okay."

Beaford

"Sure, I don't have a clear destination in mind though...maybe we can just get some food?"

London

"Food sounds good. Want me to pay?" This may sound like a nice offer, but he really just felt he owed it since he didn't give any money for curing Aneris.

Beaford

"Huh? Why the sudden offer?" Beaford didn't have any objections but this was the first time this London asked to pay. He guessed London did gave everyone money a long time ago.

London

"Well, you did find out I was trying to tease you. I consider it my loss." Nyoom. Skip ahead to eating at ye olde Mcdonalds. "Hey, do you mind if I ask more about your old party?"

Beaford

"Haha, true." Beaford agreed to London's treat and sat down with him, his expression turned a bit sour on the bard's question. "What about it?"

London

The sour face reflected off London's own as minor disappointment. "I was just curious to know more about you, but if its a bad topic I can just avoid it. It didn't seem like you left on bad terms, so I didn't see any harm in asking." The response came out unintentionally petty in London's own opinion, and he regretted it but tried to look unaffected by turning his attention to a drink in hand.

Beaford

"Ah no, it's fine! I just remembered something bad, that's all. What do you want to know?" Beaford backtracks and wonders if his expression really was that transparent.

London

London briefly wonders if it is really his place to ask for details about the other's life. There probably wasn't anything to gain from it in the long run and maybe the reason the archer got along so well with Pawo was because he didn't ask for details about his past. He sets his drink down and responds, "I was wrong in assuming. Sorry for making you remember. We can talk about something else if you want. Like, uhm, how about that Mars, huh? Quirky guy." London laughs off the atmosphere even though he had nothing in particular to mention about Mars.

Beaford

"No, it really was fine. Don't worry, I did leave with them on good terms. You didn't assume anything wrong." Beaford rapidly replies, now he just feels bad for making London feel bad. "Honestly, I was just reminded of what happened earlier....if they found out how bad we handled the whole situation some of them might have punched me. Well, that's kinda an exaggeration actually. They won't punch me but they'll probably judge me a lot."

London

"Oh, are you talking about how we handled those bandits? We really were bad. It'd be kind of funny if it weren't for how much damage the whole thing caused. So I'm guessing your last group could have handled the ordeal a lot better?"

Beaford

"I think so, they would have stopped the whole thing a lot more quickly." Beaford takes a sip from his drink. "Or you know. Actually, considering how much of a pacifist our leader is, he might have thrown his money at them from the start."

London

"They probably did need the money.. If any of our attempts to free Aneris worked, maybe we could have gotten out of there without anyone getting hurt. That kid was strong, though, wow... So how tough was your previous group? You seem to have a lot of confidence in your old team."

Beaford

"Yeah, she sure was....I expected Aneris to be able to handle herself I feel bad for not reacting a lot faster." Beaford sweats. Maybe she wouldn't have been wounded nearly as bad. "Well...for one, I was the weakest one of the group. I was kinda useless compared to them to tell the truth."

London

London snickered a little at the memory. "Remember when that kid knocked her out after she made that remark? It was hilarious. Maybe she's not as tough as we thought." He didn't doubt she'd kill him if she heard that, though. He listened to Beaford's confession carefully and considered the things he had said in the past. "Hm, well, you're with a bunch weaklings now, so I hope that makes you feel better. Did you know even Zarek didn't have much battle experience before we met. What a shocker. Don't tell him I said that. Caila's got her work cut out for her, but I think we're doing alright. I can't really blame you for wanting to leave earlier, though. We must seem really pathetic in comparison to your old teammates."

Beaford

"Maybe? I'm still a bit wary of Aneris but recently I find that I can relax around her more.." Beaford thinks. "What? Really? Zarek has an air of someone experienced....I would have never guessed. And it's not like that....I guess they were just highly talented people and we're just...normal? I do find travelling with you guys in some way more enjoyable though."

London

"Right? She's really not as bad as I initially thought. She talks bad sometimes, but when push comes to shove, she really pulls through when we need it. I really wish we didn't make her suffer because our actions, though.." He scratches the back of his head. "But yeah, I think Zarek only had formal training from the military and never actually got on the field, or that's what it sounded like he said anyway. But it's nice to hear traveling with us has been enjoyable! So are you really sure you don't mind talking about your previous teammates? If I ask or say anything that goes too far, you can let me know."

Beaford

"Hmm....guess so. Maybe I judged her too quickly in the past, I'm glad she's feeling a lot better now at least." Beaford scratched his hair. "Huh....I did knew he was a solder once but I didn't know he quit that fast. Yeah, it's fine, as long as it's not too weird....what did you want to ask?"

London

"It depends what you consider weird..." London warns, then begins, "For starters, how many people were in your original party?"

Beaford

"We started with 5 but ended with 6. Not that much different from our current one, huh?"

London

"Yeah, guess that isn't much different. I'm a little glad, really. I was going to be worried if a small group of 4 severely outmatched our team of 7 and a half. Were they all our ages? Any elves or dwarves?"

Beaford

"All humans...I was never really close to an elf until I meet Faelian. Some of them are just slightly older than me but it goes up to 80."

London

"Eighty? Really?!?" That was like dying age. What kind of person had that kind of energy in them? "And you said they were still really skilled despite their age, huh? You really get around... How'd you all meet? Was it thanks to a convenient call from a rock at a tavern like us?" London laughed.

Beaford

"Yeah, she's a grandma. She retired and opened her own tailor shop though." Beaford takes a sip from his drink. "Hmm...I guess some of them trained properly since a young age. How we all meet is more complicated...I met the leader and his sister a long time ago and the party just got bigger with time."

London

"I see... I wonder if we'd be able to handle things better if we had more connections like that." London takes a moment then delves into 'weird' category. "So did you have anyone like Pawo in your previous group?"

Beaford

"Like Pawo in what way?" Beaford raises an eyebrow. "If you mean in a pacifist kind of way, our leader actually tries to avoid fighting when he can. He's an odd guy though...he's kinda like a weird mix of Pawo and you."

London

"Um..yeah! I mean in multiple ways. Pawo really is one-of-a-kind, you know? Wait, how can he be like me?" London considered Pawo so different from himself, this was hard to imagine.

Beaford

"If you mean in a shaman kind of way I don't think so...most of us came from the main cities." Beafords rubs his chin to think. "Well, for one, he's also both a mage and a bard. And I guess he's a pacifist but personality-wise. Uh. It's hard to explain but he has traits from both of you. He's not as naive as Pawo though."

London

"'Hard to explain' says enough, I guess... I mean, you did mention he kicked a certain idiot out of the group for their benefit. I'm kind of glad I didn't go that far, though. Still. Being compared to the leader of such a cool group is a lot of pressure. You must have went through a lot." He rests his hand on his palm to think. "What other sort of job classes did your team have?" If there was a bard/mage, there could be a chance for some other familiar jobs, too.

Beaford

"Haha yeah. You did try to kick Faelian too though. To be fair, I think I was the only one actively comparing both of us. The gap's just too wide though." Beaford sighs. "Uh, let's see...a paladin, a healer, a lancer, and a rouge."

London

"Were you still a knight back then?"

Beaford

"I guess? Not a good one though."

London

"Oh? Then what about that idiot you always talk about? Somehow I can't imagine you were referring to one of those four..." London grinned and spoke in a teasing tune.

London changed the channel name: beaford gets memed

Beaford

"Oh. Him. I guess he was kicked out of the group so I didn't really count him." Beaford takes a sip out of his drink again. "Black mage."

London

London pouts but doesn't let it show. Instead he studies his hand while he continues. "Huh, then does that mean your team gained two extra members by the end? You said it went from 5 to 6 right?

Beaford

"Uh, yeah, I suppose if you count that guy it makes it seven."

London

This time London pouted but unintentionally let it show. "Right.. Then who was that first extra person?"

Beaford

"The Paladin. I met her way later than the others."

London

London grumbles and wonders if it would be easier to just let it go. "So the idiot was a black mage, huh? What were his skills like?"

Beaford

"Huh, it's just dark magic. It's strong but you know how shady the dealings are with dark magic and it's curses and stuff." Beaford looks down, pretending to be distracted by his food. "It wasn't really worth it."

London

What Beaford said distracted him from his initial train of thought, and his expression turns serious, "What do you mean?"

Beaford

Beaford took a bite from his food and replied with a bitter edge to his voice. "He gave up too many things to get stronger but it ended up being useless anyway."

London

"You said he was accepted back, though, didn't you?.."

Beaford

"Yeah, but not before the Paladin beat the shit out of me." Beaford closed his eyes and sighs deeply. "I might as well just make it clear that it was me, you probably already connected the dots anyway. Keeping the other guy thing starts to sound stupid."

London

London is taken aback. So he wasn't completely oblivious to the fact he saw through him... Knowing this doesn't ease the weight of the situation, however. "Hey, did you really leave your old group on good terms?" He keeps his eyes downcast as he asks. "And why did they beat you up? Just what did you do?" He glances back upwards with a worried expression.

Beaford

"Well, truthfully when we split up not everyone liked me but I only really care about the two who did so whatever." Beaford was still not looking back at london. "Hey, It's not like everyone grouped up and fight me, it was just the Paladin. I just......went way too far with the dark magic thing."

London

"Um, can you tell me what you did? You really don't have to, though. I've probably already asked too many questions, huh?"

Beaford

"Well, I don't like talking about it much but you did share your life story so I feel like it's just fair to share mine in return. It's pretty long to explain though, like, you remembered that I told you that I thought I was kicked out of the party because I was pretty useless right?"

London

He did a small nod in reply, but then stopped, "What I said back then.. You don't really owe me anything for it. It was honestly a mistake forcing myself to give all of that information. At the time, I didn't really trust anyone, and I really regretted it. So I don't want you to push yourself to talk if you feel the same." London held his breath for a moment before he spoke again, "But.. I will say that now I am glad that you are one of the people who heard. You really helped me back then, and I'm glad you talked to me. I guess there's a lot that I would have liked to have said sooner, but the point is, I'm really grateful to you, and I care about you. So I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me, but if you do, I'll treasure the thought."

Beaford

"...If you don't trust us then why did you spill everything back there? I'm actually glad that you did though...I do find myself having less faith in the group from time to time but knowing where you're coming from and stuff and talking to you really helped me trust you a lot more. And I do care about you a lot too so, yeah." Man, He really is not good with talking about sappy stuff. Beaford clears his throat."Anyway. I already told you this much, I might as well continue....to be honest I want to hear what you think about the whole thing too."

London

"Uh.." He glances away. "I don't mind explaining my reasoning, but it's complicated and dumb, and I'd rather not distract from your story." London repositions himself to get comfortable and nods. "Ready whenever you are."

Beaford

"If you don't mind sharing, maybe I can ask you again another time? As I said I though, I thought they kicked me out since, well, I won't deny that I was pretty useless as a kid. So, I spent a big part of my life trying my best to catch up to them....I suck at magic unfortunately and I'm not physically strong either." Beaford sighs again. "A few years ago, someone introduced me to dark magic though and I figured it can work."

London

London waved a hand, "Yeah, you can ask anytime. I don't really mind sharing anything, I guess.." And he listened to the bit Beaford said, already ready to interrupt. "When you say you were trying to catch up to them, was it mainly the leader you wanted to match up to? How old is he compared to you?"

Beaford

"Yeah, him......our age gap is pretty complicated." Beaford sweats. This is going to be so hard to explain. "He was 5 years older than me but various things happened so now I'm 2 years older than him. Weird, huh?"

London

London had a neutral expression of disbelief. Or maybe he was still trying to wrap his head around this? "Eh, stranger things have happened in the world." He shrugs. "If you want to try to explain that one, go for it. Or you can come back to it later." Beaford sure was an enigma.

Beaford

"It's really hard to explain so I'll just skip it for now." Beaford waves it off. "I realized that dark magic was a really easy way to get magic powers though and I don't really have a teacher or anything so I mostly just collected dark magic items. Most of them are cursed however but I didn't care because I thought it can help achieve my goal."

London

London nodded, following along. There was something imminently foreboding in this tale, but he tried to remain calm, ready to accept whatever Beaford had to say.

Beaford

"So, um, yeah, I did get to a point where I thought I can prove that I was already strong enough but when I found the leader again he still refused to take me in." Beaford looks slightly annoyed and rests his face on his hand. "I mean, what the hell, right? I did all of this for you, you know. So I thought if I can beat him in a fight or something he would accept it."

London

"Did he not explain why?" London scratched his head trying to guess the possibilities. "How did it go?..."

Beaford

"He did. Later. Should've said it from the beginning, maybe it would have saved me 8 years of my life." Beaford sighs, what's done is done. "Um, well, in the end he still cared about me after all so he didn't really fight back and got pretty badly wounded instead. This is where the Paladin comes in and kicks my ass."

London

"I see.... Did you really spend 8 years trying to study magic? And why was he so against letting you join?"

Beaford

"Something like that. Some part of it is also just trying to find and meet him again." Beaford paused before replying. "In the end, i still comes down to my safety but it's pretty dangerous for me to be in the continent I was in apparently."

London

London stared while frowning, but he wasn't really annoyed by the lack of a real answer. He rose an eyebrow. "If you were convinced, he must have told you more than just a vague 'it's dangerous,' but if you don't want to explain it, it's okay to admit so."

Beaford

"Eh, it just opens a whole can of worms that's even harder to explain. I'm not sure if you'll even believe it."

London

"I'll believe it as long as it doesn't sound like you're just giving me a lie to avoid answering. But you already said that one guy was younger than you now, so I'm ready to believe most anything.."

Beaford

"Uh, yeah well. To start with, that one guy's background is pretty complicated. He's not a normal kind of mage, he specifically focuses on dimensional spells. I still don't fully understand how those kind of magic works since it's a really high level kind of magic but it was researched pretty deeply in the continent we're from."

London

This was magic London had never heard of before, so Beaford now had his full focus. "Go on..." He tried to not give away he was a bit more excited to hear than before.

Beaford

"They restricted it so pretty much only people working for the king can really use it though...his dad used to work for the royalty so he learned it from there." Beaford takes another sip. "He used to hide it but well, the King's not in rule anymore so I don't think it's still that big of a secret. The royalty used to go to different worlds to steal their technology and ends up being really powerful though, it's probably why despite their tyranny they managed to rule for so long. Also, tell me if I'm going too fast."

London

This was a lot to hear all at once, but he wasn't going to admit that. It was, however, pretty obvious by the look on his face. London's mouth hung open. In an effort to not look too shocked, he took a sip of his drink before speaking. "Hey Beaford... You wouldn't happen to be from another dimension, would you?...." Beaford spoke of technology and a leadership that seemed far from this world. It was either that or Litskaedun was way more complex than he initially imagined.

Beaford

Wow, shit. He was going to vague that part out but London guessed it already. Beaford felt if he evaded answering again, London would trust whatever he said from now on less. That and if the bard already suspected it, he was sure it wouldn't be too hard to find proof. "...Am I so weird that it's obvious? I've been here for a while though."

London

In an effort to regain his composure, London was already finishing the last of his drink and followed it with a short cough. "Well, it's not because you're weird." Though London wasn't going to deny he was a little weird. "The story just didn't match up with what we heard about the world up until now, hehe. And I felt it was a fair wild guess. " He took a moment to stare at the ice that remained. "This leaves me with a ton of questions, but I shouldn't interrupt. How long have you been here, then? You still seem so young. It's hard to believe you kept all of this to yourself this whole time."

Beaford

"Well, the continent I'm from was also just really that weird. After I went to Litskaedun, I'm surprised by how behind the technology still is to be honest. Makes sense since they didn't cheat like Nobblehaven though. They really restrict the contact between outside the continent and inside it until a year ago so I'm not surprised if you've never heard of it." "Huh, let's see...I first went here when I was 8. Then I went back to my home-world when I was 13 and comes back here again when I was 18. That makes it around ten years?"

London

Beaford's life was so complex. "Nobblehaven is the name of your continent? The one in the other dimension?"

Beaford

"No, it's here. I wonder how much it was hidden from the map, I don't think a lot of people heard about it" Beaford scratches his neck. "The place I'm from was called Japan but I'm not.....that fond of it."

London

London turns his head away, "Oh, right..." How shameful is it for someone to not know their own world's geography. "We're getting farther off topic, but I'm trying to line up the pieces... So chronologically... You started in Japan, which you hated, then left at 8 to go to this Nobblehaven... Was the leader and the rest of the group from Japan, too, or did you meet them here?"

Beaford

"You got it right. I met them all in Nobblehaven, most of the reason why I wanted to go back I guess." Beaford sighs.

London

"Th-then..." This story had so many plot twists already.. "At 8, you were brought from your world over here by that leader guy's magic ability?"

Beaford

"Yeah...he brought me here by accident. The moment he figured out how, he sent me back again though." Beaford looks down. "I guess he didn't realize how important he is to me already."

London

"And that was when you were 13, huh?... Then how did you return?" London glanced down. For such a young age, Beaford had to leave anyone he was close to behind twice. It really must have been hard on him.

Beaford

"I met a government rebel that promised to send me back if I helped him with his plan, apparently they sent some soldiers to my world to learn the technology. It sounded like a pretty good deal for me."

London

"Huh, wow..." It was an incident in the past, so he didn't feel like it was his place to judge the choice, but that did sound really dangerous. "It's been a few years since then.. Do you have any idea how they were going to use the technology? Or what the state of your home world is now?"

Beaford

"Various things. A lot of it is just for appliances and mundane things like that. They did also use it for weapons but I think after the war, we destroyed most of them." Beaford explains. "Well, it's been a while since last time but I do still come home from time to time. The leader can like open a portal with a snap of a finger now."

London

"Woah, that's convenient.. You mentioned it was dangerous for you to go back, though, didn't you? What's that about?" Somehow this turned from a story into a q&a. Sorry Beaford.

Beaford

"Well, this kind of magic is really not stable yet. If the caster wasn't that experienced, there's a huge chance people will end up to places other than their actual destination." Beaford explained while trying to remember , he didn't really remember the details himself.

London

"Wow.. I guess you're lucky your leader guy was so experienced at such a young age then." London thinks. "Then I'm assuming you started trying to learn magic after you got here at 18, right? Hmm, sorry for interrupting your story so much... You were going to say why he wouldn't let you back in the team and how the magic was so dangerous, but I got really sidetracked.."

Beaford

"I guess he's somewhat a prodigy for his age? He definitely has the talent. It still takes quite a lot of setup so I'm lucky that he's also so nice. He was really handsome too." Beaford unnecessarily added. "Considering all that, I really think it's impossible for me to catch up with him now but yeah, I did start trying at 18...........It's fine, I've been keeping a secret for so long so it's somewhat relieving to let it all out for once."

London

London thought about commenting on the handsome comment, but decided he already went on too many tangents already. "You have been traveling with us for a while now. I can't imagine keeping it all in. I guess now I want to know how you ended up traveling with us, but you should lead up to that by resuming the story, erm, wherever you left off." London couldn't quite remember. He kind of had Beaford jump all over the place. "Anywhere is fine."

Beaford

"Where was I again? But yeah, there was the shady royalty thing, right? They've been trying to kidnap people from other worlds but they didn't have much success apparently....so if they found out that I'm here they might target me? Well, at least the past King is not in rule anymore so I'm safe now." Beaford takes a sip from his drink not because he's nervous but because he's really thirsty this time. "After the war is over, a lot of people left the country for various reasons since before that travel outside the country was prohibited. I was just wandering around for a while and ended up in Litskaedun."

London

"Ah wait, you accidentally skipped to the end. What happened after the paladin beat the shit out of you?" This guy has no tact. He did feel a little bad he might have been handling this too indifferently, but if it's not obvious this far in the campaign, he really has poor social skills. "Or, what I mean to say is.. You said you beat the leader in a fight and he explained why he couldn't bring you back into the team, then she beat you up. But that still doesn't answer what was so dangerous about the powers. Did you really just leave after that?.."

Beaford

"Uh, yeah, it's a bit long so tell me when you want me to be more detailed." Beaford sweats. "Well, I guess what's dangerous was that at that point I couldn't really think straight anymore? Like, I didn't mean to harm my leader at all.....The paladin noticed that it was most likely because of the dark magic I've been using so she beat me up and burned all of my dark magic items so I'm forced to stop using them. In hindsight, it was probably a good thing....If I forced myself to continue it I might have died." "Nope, I stuck around until the war is over but I have no magic anymore. Not to mention I was half-dying so I was pretty much useless in the end."

London

"Oh... That makes sense... Did they have a bad effect on you besides warping your mind? What do you mean by half-dying?..." He asked worriedly. Although, part of him felt that Beaford aiding rebels just to return to this world was already a sign he wasn't thinking straight. Maybe he was just overthinking this, and it wasn't as bad as he feared.

Beaford

"From the beginning, the items were considered a curse back there...logically nobody's supposed to get magic powers that easily. The way it works is that you had to give something in return and I kinda....overdid it?" Beaford nervously laughs and started counting on his fingers. "The effect varies but I had around....28 magic items? Maybe even more. Which was totally overkill and unnecessary by the way, but basically what happened is all of the side effect piled up so much my health and mind was pretty messed up. After I stopped using them, most of the effects faded away but I still haven't completely recovered yet. "

London

Hearing this just made the worry intensify, but Beaford said he was still recovering, so maybe it was just temporary... "Well you do fall asleep a lot... Is that part of their effect?"

Beaford

"Yeah...that's one of the more obvious ones."

London

"What else is there?..."

Beaford

"Uh, it's hard to make a complete list. The one affecting me the most right now aside from the sleeping thing is this though." Beaford points at the half-eaten food that got forgotten somewhere in the middle of their conversation. "I actually have no idea if this is good or not, I can't really taste anything anymore."

London

"So you lost your sense of taste... Is there any sign that it might come back soon? Or is it permanent?" London looked down at the food. This food was really nothing to miss, but the biggest loss was not being able to taste Pawo's soups.

Beaford

"No idea. Well, I'll manage." Beaford smiled at London. "Sorry for making you hear all that, it was way too long."

London

"I don't mind." He looks around to note it was getting late and keeps his focus on the distance. "I was the one who asked you questions in the first place.. Sorry if I seemed annoying. I enjoy talking with you, so I wouldn't mind even if you kept going."

Beaford

"It's fine. That's all I can think of for now though, is there anything else about it that you want to ask me?" Beaford resumes to eat the forgotten food, he can't waste it after all.

London

"You don't mind if I keep asking questions? I can stop if you want." He looks at the food again. "Not having any taste sounds kind of rough, but it really could be worse, huh? I'm glad it's nothing more serious. We'll help take care of you if you fall asleep in battle to make up for things."

Beaford

"Ask away. Might as well do it now, these kind of conversations don't happen often." Beaford takes another bite and shrugs. "Yeah, I can still smell them so it's not all that bad."

London

London laughed. "Yeah, a cold does the same thing. A cold's probably even worse. But if you're sure it's okay to ask...." He again rests his hand on his palm to think and then uses the palm to hide a growing grin. "Actually, when I asked if there was anyone like Pawo earlier, I meant if there was anyone you liked or were dating."

Beaford

"Oh. That's what you meant." Beaford sighs. "The leader and I actually dated for a while."

London

He laughs again. "I knew it! You really make things obvious, you know. Speaking of which, you never got to say how he ended up younger than you."

Beaford

"People do say I'm pretty transparent." Beaford muttered and leans back on his chair. "He screwed a spell up so he ended up going to the future."

London

"Wow, that's quite the slip-up... You really are popular, aren't you? Dating the leader and also a cool shaman."

Beaford

Beaford looks downwards and play with his food. "It's not really impressive if you consider the fact that I've been chasing him for 10 years. He might have just felt sorry for me."

London

"If he said 'no' for 10 years, I'm sure he wouldn't have suddenly said 'yes' on the 11th. I guess I'm kind of wondering why you aren't still together, but you and Pawo seem happy, so it's just as well."

Beaford

"It wasn't like that, he only found out and realized how desperate I am on the 10th year. Kinda sucks since it was love at first sight for me. He said he couldn't completely return my feelings yet so he broke it off." Beaford's finally done with his food and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Yeah, at least there's Pawo now. Anyway, how's things with Faelian? He keeps telling me that you've been acting odd."

London

"Uhh... It's complicated." He squints. "How am I acting odd?"

Beaford

"Something about how you asked him to convince you that he likes him? And he totally thinks you have no experience before by the way. Is that true?"

London

London's expression grew darker and Beaford heard him mumble some Elvish in a very annoyed manner. "Faelian said he liked me, so I told him to prove it. It's not that odd." He notably avoids the second question.

Beaford

"Well, I've always find it pretty obvious that he's into you I guess."

London

"That might seem obvious to you, but Faelian is just as clingy now as he was when he first rejected me. If he really liked me, he could have made it clear a lot sooner. Now, I'm not sure what to think." London grumbled and chewed the straw of his finished drink in annoyance. There was nothing left to sip, but he could wish.

Beaford

"Eh, is that so? I suppose he left that part out." Beaford sweats. "I think he just didn't realize it though, he seemed pretty serious when he was talking about it to me."

London

"He's an idiot." London leaned back in his chair and decided to change the direction of the conversation realizing he was taking his stress out on Beaford. "So were Pawo and Leader-man the only people you've ever liked in your life?"

Beaford

"At least he means well." Beaford mutters. "Huh, well there's one more so that makes it three. What about you? We're the same age but you probably have more than me." Beaford asked back as he's not in the mood to go back to mass interrogation mode again and he had to admit that he was also curious.

London

"You got to at least date two out of three of your crushes, that's so lucky...." London mumbled and sat in silence with his eyes shut before answering. "Uh, well, I happen to get crushes really easily. It's another thing I'm a little worried about regarding Faelian.."

Beaford

"If I didn't have a 10 years long one I'm sure I'll have more." Beaford scratched his neck. "Huh, why? Are you worried that you might someday got a crush on someone else?"

London

"Haha, I guess so... We just have different ideas on how to handle romance. That might be why Faelian thought I was weird. A single committed relationship sounds kind of silly to me, but well, I havent been in a relationship since I lost my tooth so debating situations where I could have more than one relationship sounds just as silly I suppose."

Beaford

"Hmm, I'm the type who gets jealous easily so I can't really agree with you on this one. It's not like I never like more than one people at the same time but I usually just choose one to actually pursue a relationship with." Beaford raised his eyebrow. "Does that mean you were in a relationship before you lose your tooth?"

London

London sat up and crossed his arms proudly, "Of course. I used to be way popular. But after the tooth knockout happened, I guess I lost a lot of my confidence.. It might be why I'm so unsure about Faelian's confession. This is the first time I've heard of anyone liking me in years. I thought I was cursed." He ended dramatically. "But I get jealous, too. It's just.. When I see someone I have unrequited feelings for with someone else? Eh, I mentioned I like people really easily, though, so I get over it. I think as long as I know I'm cared for that's enough. I wouldn't even mind if they never wanted to touch or look at me."

Beaford

"That's kinda sad...your tooth really is not that bad? I don't think Faelian cares about it much?"

London-

"Y-yeah.. I might have been overreacting. After thinking on it more, it was probably the drinking habits that really turned them away. But that's not important now! I guess, this is really the first time someone I liked said they liked me back. It's just so weird and hard to believe. Especially after the haircut incident.. I don't think I really deserve his feelings. He could do so much better."

Beaford

"Really? For the first time? I thought you were in relationships?" Beaford said, confused. "Well, that just shows how much he likes you and that you really should go for him."

London

"That doesn't mean there were feelings involved." London said while looking away. Then after a little more thought added, "Actually, that's a lie. No one's ever liked me. Not enough to have sex with me even if I paid them to." Then he glanced down. "I never really had much luck with friends either, so hanging out with everyone has been weird and difficult. I'm used to making everyone dislike me early on, so having to stick around and try to get along with others has been an experience. It's weird. Three years ago was just the point I gave up on ever being loved, so hearing Faelian say he liked me after all of this time kind of hurt. If he said it sooner, maybe things wouldn't have been so bad."

After some silence he added, "So you were asking about why I told everyone my history earlier even though I didn't trust anyone, right? It's the same reason I got into that fight with Faelian. I was just tying up loose ends. After Lacie died, it reminded me of things - because both she and Ires, that girl I liked, thought my magic was cool. I was just feeling hopeless and frustrated, so I was kind of hoping that fight with Stellar Phalanx could put an end to it. That way I wouldn't have to worry about it all anymore. It's nothing to be worried about now, though. I was just stressed. And Lacie's okay now, so everything's alright."

Beaford

"Uh, I don't think sex is an accurate measure if someone likes you or not?" Says the man who banged twice before properly confessing to his boyfriend but nobody has to know. "I'm sorry to hear that but you're a likable person, London? I'm sure everyone enjoyed your company so don't feel bad about it...maybe Faelian just didn't have the right timing to say it?"

Beaford frowned. "That's...really not a good way to settle things. I think Faelian would have been more upset about it than anything. I'm glad that you're feeling better now but.....yeah, I guess I'm not the best person to lecture someone about their life choices but don't throw away your life like that London. I'm sure things will work out for the better, with Faelian and all. I think a lot of us in the party is pretty fond of you too."

"Um.....yeah, her life was full of trouble but I guess Lacie is resting in peace right now. I hope the girl that you like is too."

London

"Well, even without considering sex as a measure.. I don't know..." He sinks a bit and settles down. Then begins to play with his straw a bit. "Actually, for a while I guess I really liked you. You went to defend me that one time on the boat when the pirates attacked. I never thought anyone would risk their life for someone like me. I ended up making a way bigger deal out of it than I should have. I guess I'm scared to think maybe my feelings for the girl I liked were the same way."

"I keep confusing natural acts of kindness with people caring for me. It's no wonder I get crushes so easily. I'm just an idiot. When I think back on things, even though I said a ton of things to her, she never really said much to me. I honestly only knew her name and her personality. Maybe some likes and dislikes. It's no wonder she didn't have any feelings in return. Being asked to leave town with someone who barely knew you must have seemed ridiculous. In a way it seemed like she couldn't leave for some reason.. But I have no way of knowing if she could have found peace or not. The day I left, all that I knew was that she was murdered. If I really cared about her I would have stayed and made sure it didn't happen, but I was only thinking about myself in the end.."

Beaford

"Eh? What? Really?!" Beaford didn't bother hiding his surprise, he didn't even remember doing that? He sweats a lot. "I really appreciate it but like...yeah...sorry......................I don't think I ever noticed at all." Beaford immediately shifts from the awkward topic. "Maybe she was just quiet? Or she likes listening to you talk? I don't know how long did you know each other but I'm sure she had her own reason.....Don't blame yourself for it. It's the murderer's fault, there's no way for you to know." Beaford sighs. "I hope she rests well..."

London

London shifts the conversation back. "Well, I never wanted it to be clear. As I said, by that time I already gave up on love, so I didn't see a point to it. It's really better things turned out this way. But, um, sorry for pushing this all on you all of a sudden. I'm just thinking too much. I'm sure I had a lighter theme in mind when I started this topic.. So who was that third person you mentioned you liked earlier?" He figures this would make for a more relaxing conversation. He'll just pin the pressure on Beaford instead.

Beaford

"Uh, it's fine. I'm sorry I'm pretty dense too so it's not easy for me to realize about this kind of thing. It's fine, I burned you with a lot of heavy things too.." Beaford takes a sip out of his drink. "It's Alicia, the paladin. In the end, I got rejected pretty harshly though. Haha."

London

"Wow, that must have been rough." London smiled. "So does Pawo know you had previous experience? Was Leader-man your first kiss and stuff?" As he asks, he finally decides to take some time to clean up the area. Talking with empty trays between them for an hour seemed kind of silly.

Beaford

"Yeah....he was.." Beaford coughs. "It was a bit weird, I guess I never knew what to expect from a relationship yet so it didn't end up working out." Beaford noticed and also helped London clean up.

London

He wonders if Beaford intentionally avoided answering if Pawo knew or if he just missed the question. It doesn't bother him either way. "I guess it's nice that he at least gave you the chance. Actually, this reminds me. There was one person I might have had luck with..." With trash dumped, London turned and leaned against a wall to speak - a suddenly serious face.

Beaford

"Suppose so. Hmm, who was it?" Beaford kinda guessed that it might be the ghost girl but don't want to make the topic heavy again if he's wrong.

London

"It was a couple years before I met Faelian. So you know, I mentioned I couldn't even get sex even if I paid someone, right? Well, it's because this lady was hitting on me at a bar. She kept making moves at me and asking for money. After a while, I just thought 'fuck it' and figured I'd pay her even though I was already nearly broke. But instead of actually getting down to business, I kind of ended up whining the whole time. It's embarrassing to remember. I was a really drunk mess. So even though I woke up sure something went on between us, looking back now, I think I just fell asleep.."

Beaford

"Huh? That sounds like a weird experience........I don't think you should feel bad about it though, I mean, if you weren't that drunk you probably managed to do something?"

London

"No, I was totally drunk. All I remember was sobbing and uh.." He gave more detail than he intended. "So yeah, anyway, I woke up and not only was the lady gone, but so was the rest of my money! It was awful. I swore never to trust women again. But that was obviously a lie." He huffed with his arms crossed.

Beaford

"Wow, seems like she got you pretty bad." Beaford sweats. "How did she fool you so hard? Was she pretty at least?"

London

London looked down and his eyebrows scrunched trying to remember. "I don't really know.. I hope she was..." Then he brought his head back up. "But that's not really the end of the story." "So that morning, after I found out I was totally played, I basically just sat around outside and sulked for a while. Then this guy came and asked me what was wrong. I told him my first kiss was a jerk and kind of ranted, and after hearing me out, he kissed me!! 'Pretend that is your first one' was all he said with a wink before he left.. I wish I followed that guy.. But I was so stunned (and recovering from a hangover), that all I did was sit there in shock.."

Beaford

"Oh, so you was talking about the guy not the girl. That was really misleading." Beaford sweats. He was going to feel so sorry for London that the only person he thought had a chance with him was a scammer."That guy sounds pretty smooth, damn. It sounds like an interesting morning."

London

"Yeah, aaaah, I wish I talked with him! Or could see him again or damn I don't know.. But you absolutely cannot tell Faelian about this! He'd judge me so hard... You know how pretentious elves can be. The thing is the guy wasn't exactly a human or an elf..." He brought his voice down and continued timidly, "I think he was actually part orc..." He brought his voice back up to his normal volume with a worried expression, "Do you think Faelian would avoid kissing me if he knew the truth?"

Beaford

"I won't tell him don't worry.......I really didn't expect an orc though." Beaford only really liked humans but he guessed there's Pawo like...he can turn into a wolf. That's a bit weird. "Does he hate orcs? It's years ago so I'm sure he won't mind?"

London

"Hm, I'm not sure... It sounds like orcs aren't well-liked where he comes from, though. Hated even more than dark elves. It's complicated. Half-orcs aren't so bad, though, so maybe it won't be a big deal.. And I think this one was half elf, too, so maybe that will make things easier.." London narrows his eyes. "Do you think Faelian would give me a chance to hang out with him if we ever see him again?.. Now that I think about it, I could probably scry for him and see if I can find him..."

Beaford

"A half-elf and half-orc? That's a weird-sounding combination. I think Faelian's not as harsh to other races as normal elves, so maybe he wouldn't mind?" Beaford scratched his neck. "You can do that? Scrying sure sounds really convenient."

London

"Yeah!" London perks up. "Maybe I will..." He soon headed back to the table and removed the crystal ball and a notebook from the bag behind him. "I can still remember his face clearly, so this should be easy!"

London

/r 1d20+4

Diebot of VinBOT

@London:

1d20+4

= (13)+4 = 17

As he focuses, a figure began to appear on the orb. "It worked! That's him!! But what happened to his other arm?.." The familiar character Beaford sees seems to be missing two arms.

Beaford

Beaford almost choked on his own spit. Holy fuck. It's pretty obvious that he's nervously sweating at this point."..................................m-maybe he got into an accident? Poor guy though."

London

London had a concerned expression but seems relieved when he sees another figure appear on the picture. "Well, whatever it was, it seems he's doing fine now. Looks like he already has someone too." He ended the scrying without much trouble. "Oh well, I guess this is just as well. They seemed happy, huh?" London finally glances up to notice the archer's expression. "Huh, Beaford, are you okay?"

Beaford

"Y-yeah, I'm fine! He's just............." Shit, Beaford. Think of something other than the fact that you just cut off his other arm a while ago. You can do this. "............not my type at all so I was surprised? Hahah. Sorry. I guess I like guys with pretty faces more than the rough kind? Yeah. Since you showed me the guy, do you want to see the leader guy too?" Anything to change the topic.

London

"Um, sure..." London briefly thinks about how he thought the half-orc had a pretty face, but decides not to debate it. "Then I can show you what Ires looked like, too, if you want! I actually tried to draw her out, but I'm afraid it's not very accurate.. It's been a while, so I can't remember all of the details.. You first, though!" Whatever grim mood there was before seems to be gone now at the absolute very least.

Beaford

"II'll be interested in seeing that too and yeah! I have a picture of him just right here." Beaford quickly whipped out his iPhone 4s and hoped that London wouldn't notice how nervous he is. He scrolled through his phone a bit before turning his phone towards London. "That's him."

London

"Woah, he does have a pretty face. I can see why you'd like him. Nice picture, too." He begins studying the phone instead of the photo. "So this must be that technology from the other country, huh? It's pretty impressive. Right, hold on, I have the picture of her around here somewhere."

He starts flipping through the notebook he brought out earlier haphazardly.

"Here she is!"

Beaford

"Wow, she's cute. She's an elf, right?" Beaford is pretty sure that's an ear....does London have a thing for elves? "Yeah, it's probably the only thing I brought from back home" Beaford slides the phone back to his pocket.

London

"Um, yeah. Elves are kind of common where I come from. I guess I never realized there were places so isolated from them actually." He thinks recalling Beaford and Pawo both seemed new to the aspect of elves. "So it's from that Japan place, huh?"

Beaford

"I saw elves before.....I don't think I was ever close to any elves however. Faelian's like the first elf I was ever friends with." Beaford shoves the phone down his pocket even further. "Yep. Don't tell anyone though."

London

"Sure, I can keep it a secret." He puts his notebook up in turn. It was getting really really late by this point. "Talking with you has been fun. I kind of regret the fact I gave up on romance before meeting you a little."

Beaford

"Thanks. I don't really like telling people that I'm not from here." Beaford looks away but turned back to London at his words. "Hah? Huh. Um. Yeah. I enjoyed our talk too. I'm sure things will lighten up for you though, like there's Faelian."

London

"I'm okay. I don't need any lightening up." He waves the comment off. "Since earlier, I've been doing a lot better, so I'm not really worried. I guess it doesn't matter now." Afterwards, London stood up once again. "Well, are you ready to head to the inn?"

Beaford

"Mmm, okay that's good to hear." Beaford follows but stopped halfway while looking at London.." Can I ask you one more thing though?"

London

"Yeah, sure. What is it?"

Beaford

"You know you're basically the only one I told my life story so......if he hears it, do you think Pawo will judge me for it?"

London

"Hmm. Well, from what I've seen you're basically the only one he wouldn't judge over something like this, so I think you should be okay. He might have tons of questions, but by the end of it, he'll just be happy he got to know you better."

Beaford

"Really? Well, it's a relief if you think that way but we're raised so differently that I'm still pretty worried." Beaford paused. "Have I told you that he thought I kill people for fun?"

London

London coughs and looks back to him wide-eyed. "Did he really?" He begins laughing at just the thought.

Beaford

"....I'm glad it sounds like a joke for you at least. But yeah, he's pretty weird. What will he think if he knows I used to use dark magic? Will he try to exorcise me?"

London

"Maybe." London teased. "But in all seriousness, if Pawo was willing to accept you as a murderer, I think you have nothing to worry about regarding the dark magic thing. It makes me wonder about his morals more than anything." Shamans sure are weird.

Beaford

"You got a point there." Beaford folds his arms. "After talking about it to you I guess i feel better about the whole thing, thanks London. Let's head back."

London

"Yeah." London starts walking ahead and then made a final comment before heading his own direction: "Goodnight, Group Idiot."

Beaford

"......Night. Geez, just let it go already."

London

London laughed before going out of sight. He'd consider it, but he probably won't stop anytime soon.

Beaford

sayonara london san

#c: beaford

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

The Fire has Quelled. Everything is Safe Again.

After Session 78 - Inn

London

For once London headed straight to the room and waited expecting Faelian to follow.

Faelian

Faelian headed to the room like usual.

London

He stood by the doorway and once Faelian entered, he let the door close and looked at Faelian without moving.

Faelian

Faelian noticed that something was up right away and turned to face him once the door was closed. "You okay?"

London

"Um, Faelian, I..." His eyes moved from Faelian's face down to his hand, which he soon grabbed in both of his own. "About yesterday, I'm sorry."

Faelian

Faelian looks down at his hand grasped between London's and then back up to he bard. What was he talking about.? More than one things had happened yesterday. Was he apologizing for leaving him hanging again. That sounded like something London would do. "Um.. a lot of things happened yesterday... If you're apologizing for not coming back for the night you don't need to apologize for that again." He gives London's hand a soft squeeze.

London

"Hm." London nodded. Afterwards, he gently goaded Faelian a step to the side so that his back would be in front of the wall and stepped closer. He brought one hand up to trace Faelian's lips before trying to force them open for a kiss. Telepathy is on.

Faelian

"Is something the matter?" He asked after hearing that hm sound. As London goaded him over to the wall he carefully let his things fall to the floor. He didn't really expect the other to want a kiss or the sudden telepathy. It was on but London had said nothing. He hesitantly parted his lips. What is it?

London

He brought his arms around Faelian's head to bring the kiss closer. I'm not sure.. A lot happened, and I'm still kind of trying to figure it all out. Part of me wants to apologize and cry about a lot of things, and another part of me just wants to kiss you and ignore everything. It's just really complicated, so maybe this is my compromise? He pushed Faelian's back to the wall.

Faelian

You already apologized.. and it was half my fault for the misunderstanding. I'm sorry too. It has been a bit confusing and stressful lately.. If you're overwhelmed it's better to cry. You can't just ignore those feelings forever, they'll just keep building up and make you feel worse. You'll feel better after you cry.. are you ashamed to cry? Faelian breaks the kiss and hugs London tightly. He leans his head over on his shoulder. There's no shame in crying...

London

"Huh?" London blinks surprised by the sudden stop. In response, he laid his head on Faelian's chest with a soft sigh. "It's not that easy." He pouts.

Faelian

Faelian continued to hold London close. "I know it's not that easy. That crying won't solve your problems... but it will help you release stress. Even if it's only a little, isn't that better than nothing?"

London

He backs his head enough to look at Faelian face-to-face. His cheeks were slightly red. "N-no, I mean crying on command... That's not a very easy thing to do, you know?" Then he kisses Faelian on the cheek. "I do appreciate the thought, though." London smiles.

Faelian

"Oh.. I guess it isn't, huh?" He gives a small nod. "Um.. maybe we should talk about what you want to cry about? That should help." There was probably a lot of things on London's mind if he felt bad enough to cry.

London

"Stopping so suddenly and asking me to talk is embarassing." He nuzzled his face on Faelian's chest jokingly.

Faelian

"Yeah but... if you say you feel like crying of course I want to talk about it and try to help you feel better." He continues to hold London close.

London

London looks at him again. "I said it was a compromise because I was planning to talk to you. That's why I was speaking to you telepathically. So I could kiss and talk." He grins proud of his idea. "Saying it upfront is embarrassing... Maybe I am just trying to avoid crying."

Faelian

"I thought it might be something like that..since you started telepathy and all." He frowns and gives london a worried look. "Um.. what if we lay down and I hug you from the back? I won't be able to see you cry that way... maybe it'll be easier to talk if we're not looking at each other."

London

"Aw, but I like hugging you, too!" It was hard to tell if London was taking this seriously. He cuddled his head beneath Faelian's chin grinning.

Faelian

Even if London wasn't taking it seriously, Faelian was. "Well, you're shorter than me so we can still hug and not look at each other." Faelian hugged London little tighter.

London

"B-but I also like looking at you." He winks at Faelian awkardly trying to continue his efforts to stay unserious.

Faelian

"Then we can just talk while hugging." Faelian doesn't seem affected by the wink.

London

He groans. "Alright, we can talk without kissing.." London finally stops clinging but it's just to move his arms from behind Faelian to put his hands on Faelian's chest. He sighs. "I'm not happy with how I acted yesterday."

Faelian

Faelian looked down silently for a few moments before facing London again. "I'm not happy with what happened yesterday either. I felt weird before and after.. I shouldn't have gone along with it. I don't want apology sex or whatever that was to be something in our relationship. It wasn't needed.. and I don't you to feel like it was. I'm sorry that I went along with it."

London

"I know... And you said the same thing yesterday, but I still pushed myself on you. You shouldn't take the blame. I'm just a really huge idiot." His grip on Faelian's jacket tightens.

Faelian

"I know but.. it's not like you really pushed yourself on me. I could have and should have said no but I didn't. You're not an idiot either.. Let's just make sure that doesn't happen again, okay? I'm sorry." He hugs London tightly and presses his face into the crook of his neck.

London

"I was just really upset at myself and worried... I didn't think about how you'd feel or anything. I was scared. I'm the one who keeps hurting you like this. I'm sorry. I really am an idiot, you know. You can still be mad at me.."

Faelian

"Look.. you're new to all this.. I'm new to open relationships. Don't try to take all the blame or be so hard on yourself, okay? It gave me a weird bad kind of feeling but talking about it now and apologizing to you helped. ..I hope you feel better now too. Even if it's just a little."

"You worry too much about me being angry at you. Even if I get angry it's not like I won't get over it soon enough. I'm not the kind of person who will cut ties with people that easily over a little argument. And no.. i'm not mad at you anymore, and it's not because the sex worked, I couldn't stay mad at you for long since it was half my fault too." "You're not an idiot. I'm sorry for calling you that yesterday. I was just playing around like always. I didn't mean it. I never mean it." He moves his head and kisses London's temple.

London

London blushes and looks at him concerned before laughing. "I-I wasn't talking about when you called me an idiot! Of course I know you weren't serious about that..." He brings a hand down his face in a futile effort to recover from the blunder, but does not remove it. "I was calling myself an idiot. There's no denying how stupid I can be sometimes."

Faelian

Faelian gives London a small smile in return. "I just wanted to make sure.. just in case." He kisses the hand that blocks London's face now. "Well.. we already know i'm not that bright either. We both make mistakes.. and learn from them. Talking about them helps too so don't try to keep them bottled up, okay?"

London

He felt the kiss and removed the hand. "But what if I just keep repeating the same mistakes?... At some point we need to admit I'm a lost cause. I wasted your potion... I upset you.." London almost says more but stops himself and looks down.

Faelian

"I won't let the same mistakes keep happening on my end. You've already changed so much since I first met you so I know that you can grow out of bad habits or stop making the same mistakes. Also did you waste it? Did you already decide that you wanted to find a way to remove it after all?" Faelian frowns. "Don't stop there if you were going to say something else. Tell me anything that's been bothering you and i'll give you the honest truth about how I feel about it. I'll ease your worries about it if I can."

London

"I wasn't planning to remove it, but..." London bit his lip frowning then took a step back away from the hug. Continuing to keep his eyes downcast, he spoke. "There are so many better options of people to give the potion to. I'm a liar and can't keep my promises. You want someone who will stay by your side forever, but I'm ready to die and can't even say I'm ready to be committed. I don't deserve your love... or anyone's for that matter."

Faelian

Faelian continued to look at London with a slight frown on his face. "I'm sorry that I burdened you with this gift and that you feel that way. I'm sure there are plenty of people in the world better than the both of us but I gave that potion to one of the most important people in my life. I don't really care if you're worthy or not. It was a gift to you.. If I had found more I would have offered them to the other humans in our group that I care about too. Pawo wouldn't have taken it but still...”

"You shouldn't make anymore promises if you don't think you can keep them. I know it can't be helped sometime but you have to stop making them if you can't keep them or at least try a little harder to keep them if they're important to you. "

"London.. you need to love yourself more. I hate hearing you say that you're ready to die. It hurts. Would you be happy if I told you I was ready to die? Are you really not happy with anything in your life? Nothing at all? Do you really have no will to live? Not for any of your friends or even your family? Do you have no fun living?"

"You don't have to commit now. You don't have to commit in a hundred years or even longer than that. I hope you can someday but you don't have to anytime soon and if you don't then that's that. I don't want to force you to commit to me. I just wanted you to be around for longer so I could selfishly spend more time with you. It's not like we can't spend some time traveling on our own in the years to come if you need a break from me."

After that long talk there was a short pause and then a few more words. "You deserve love just as much as anyone else. And I'll love you as much as I want."

London

London opened his mouth, then hesitated before speaking again. "I just.. I hurt you so much! Even though you're so important to me... From an objective standpoint, I definitely do more harm than good. You're just too nice to believe it." He turned his head in the direction of the window and began making his way across the room. "And well, I only said that stuff because you asked so persistently. I can just keep it 'bottled up' if you hate hearing it so much. I didn't want to hurt you, after all."

Faelian

"It's not like you've hurt me that badly anyway and if you've got the sense to know it was wrong then try not to make the same mistakes again. I'm sure I've hurt you in the past too with the things I've said or done and sometimes I didn't even have the sense to realize I even had. I'm sorry for anytime that I've ever hurt you or made you sad. I'm sorry that I made things confusing stressful for you." He follows London and stands in front of him. Looking him in the eyes when he talks to him. Like London did earlier Faelian takes one of his hands between his own two. "I do want to know so that you don't have to bottle it up. But I still hate hearing that you have no desire or want to live. It's sad to find that out. Answer me. Do you really have nothing to live for or no desire to live? I thought you wanted to help your family? Isn't that kind of thinking selfish to them and everyone who loves you? If you really have nothing then can't you look for something that makes you happy or something to live for instead of just giving up and accepting it?"

London

Faelian walking in front of him caught London by surprise. Him grabbing London's hand was even more surprising. "Ah..." Hearing about his family just made him want to bite his lip again. Instead he clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tight. "I already blew all of my money on new clothes and a fancy spellbook. And it's not like you're saving your money to help, either." He turned his head away if only just to act rebellious. "Anyway. I'm just ranting. You shouldn't take me too seriously." London spun 180 degrees around and fell forward on the bed. "I'm not planning to die. Sorry for grumbling and scaring you. We don't need to talk about this after all. It's just giving you the wrong idea and making you come up with weird theories. The offer to kiss instead is still open."

Faelian

"London. I don't know where they are or when i'll see them, but when I do i'll give them every coin I have on me and take them more money when I make it. You needed new clothes and your spells help us in battle. I got all those upgrades on my weapons just for the upcoming battles. It's not like i'm just throwing it away."

"Even if you're just ranting i'm taking every single word you said to heart. So unless you want me to keep misunderstanding you should clear whatever i'm not understanding up. What am I misunderstanding about you not caring if you died tomorrow?" He joined London on the bed and hugged him loosely. He places a kiss into London's hair. "We can kiss afterwards. I still want to hear anymore worries you might need to get off your chest for now."

London

He almost brings up how Faelian also bought some pretty rocks but holds it back. "Don't worry about them. I shouldn't be grumbling. It's still concerning I never got a letter back anyway. We can worry about this another time." With a sigh, he rolls over to lay on his stomach. "You keep acting like I said I have no desire to live, and I hate living, and I don't have anything to live for. All I meant was if I did die it wouldn't really hurt me much. What the hell.." He grumbles. "You might be taking every single word to heart, but you're also exaggerating them out of proportion. If saying one thing causes that big of a misunderstanding, I'm just scared what continuing the conversation will do."

Faelian

"Maybe we should go visit them when all this is over. Anyway.. we can stop talking about them for now."

"Well, when I asked if you had anything to live for you didn't give me an answer so of course it had me worrying. Don't say that you don't want to talk about this kind of thing anymore. I want to know your worries and talk about them. I don't want things to keep being stressful for you.. I won't exaggerate them if you help me understand. "

London

"I was trying to help you to understand, but you instantly came to your own conclusions without giving me a chance to explain. The reason I said that wasn't because I don't have anything to live for, I was saying it because I felt like I do more harm than good. I think it'd benefit everyone more if I wasn't around causing trouble even if they think otherwise."

"Also if we're talking about after this adventure and revival isn't as necessary, the only people who might be affected are you and maybe Zarek. Mostly you. I don't have a big influence in anyone's lives, and a lot of the influence I do have is damaging. I just want better for you."

Faelian

"Alright, alright. I get it.. I understand now." He sits up and crosses his legs. "How much good do I do? I also go around causing problems for people and making mistakes all the time. I'd care if I died."

"Who would benefit if you died? No one. You think you're a big problem when there are so many bad people running around in this world doing bad things on purpose? If you think you're causing trouble and feel guilty about it then just do more good."

"You want better for me?" He rubs his hand over his eyes for a few moments. "I can make and live my own mistakes if I want to. I have that right. You're not as big of a problem as you seem to think you are."

London

Mimicking his friend, London also sat up to sit on his knees in front of the elf. "You think it's really my imagination?" He stares.

Faelian

"I think when you make mistakes you exaggerate them a hundred times. You let them eat at you and hurt and worry you way more than they should."

"It's good that you care and are considerate of other people's feelings but you're way too hard on yourself."

London

"Well, that's...." He glances downwards. "I just feel like one mistake is all it would take to disappoint others."

Faelian

He moves a little closer. "With someone like Aneris that might be true but not everyone's like that. I'm not like that. Zarek isn't like that. He forgave me for my big mistake and is being friendly with me again." "I wonder when it was that you started to worry too much about what other people thought of you." He smiles a little and gives London's hand a few pats.

London

His hand closes into a fist and he hides his face further. "That guy knocked my tooth out after one fortune... and.."

Faelian

"That guy was an asshole! Maybe he was having a bad day and took it out on you. He didn't have the right to hit you."

London

With some hesitance, London continued. "Did I mention how long it took for me to learn magic?"

Faelian

He shakes his head even though London's not looking up. "I don't think you have. How long did it take?"

London

"Oh..." If Faelian could see anything it was that London was embarrassed. "It's kind of a funny one. Even with help, the only spell I learned in the twenty years before I first left home was the light one. I sucked. I was considered a lost cause a long time ago. Even after I met you... by the point this whole Caila business started, I only had a bare grasp of the most basic spells offered. It's embarrassing."

Faelian

Faelian smiled softly once London was finished speaking. He slowly moved his hand over and held London's in it. "You were just a late bloomer is all. Anyone who considered you a lost cause could watch you use magic now and be shocked. You have so many spells.. a lot of impressive ones too. You even managed to teach someone else magic." His smile grows a little and he gives London's hand a squeeze. "You've grown so much in such a short time. I'm sure you'll continue to grow too."

London

As reassuring as Faelian's words were, London continued sulking. "I guess..."

Faelian

Faelian leaned over and pressed a kiss on London's forehead. "You're smart.. you're good at magic.. and your mistakes aren't as bad as you think they are. You're a good person."

London

"I was just explaining why... mistakes are scary. Only foolish idiots have the patience to deal with me. I might be kind of good at magic sometimes now but.... I still repeat the same mistakes. I just wanted to make others happy.. You think anyone who gave up on me in the past would be impressed now, but I don't think anything would be good enough.... It's impossible." He shook his head and turned to look at the pillows. Maybe it was time to sleep instead of talk.

Faelian

"Mistakes are scary but they're not the end of the world. I'm sure there are some mistakes you have learned from and won't repeat again. You do make people happy sometimes, it's impossible to make them happy all the time though. If no one from your past is proud of you then they're blind. I'm proud of you.." He leaned over on London. "Can you please try to believe what I told you and be a little easier on yourself?"

London

"I just..." His eyes fixated on the bed finally looked back at Faelian. "I should trust you... I should be happy with you. But I wish others could like me, too. I've tried to explain it, but it's just hard for you to understand I think. I seriously have no where to go with my life if my family..." He pauses to think. "Isn't alive." London moved his hand to hold onto Faelian's. "I went out because I really wanted to believe someone else could love me, but you're right. People at bars aren't looking for that sort of thing. Even after I insisted so much." He grumbles. "Maybe I should just give up..."

Faelian

"What don't you trust? That you're really not a big problem that you think you are? Maybe it is hard for me to understand. I just don't know.. I'm sure I've told you that it's fine to want other people to like you.. I want people to like me too. " He frowns and furrows his brows. "Why do you think they might not be alive? Did you hear bad news about the area they live in or something?"

"London.. I love you. But I don't like the idea of you settling on me just because you don't think you have any other options. That just sounds sad.. for me and you." He holds London's hand in return and gives it a squeeze. "I know you don't like hearing this but I think you have a lot to learn when it comes to lust, love and friendship. Of course you can't just meet someone and expect them to love you instantly. Love doesn't work like that.There might be a few rare cases like Pawo and Beaford but for the most part you need to build a friendship first. Or that's what I think, at least. I want to have things in common and be able to laugh with a lover. If it's all physical that wouldn't be any fun. I'm positive that more people can love you. You're just trying the wrong ways and trying to rush things. Take things slow... love takes a long time sometimes. You were a late bloomer when it came to magic so you're probably just a late bloomer when it comes to these kind of things too..."

London

"Yeah, maybe you're right.." But hearing it put that way was like a punch to the chest. :nothavingfun: But it was probably a necessary one. "Sorry for freaking out."

Faelian

He nods. "Yeah. I think you've been working yourself up too much and stressing out. You need to try to relax some." He holds both of London's hands now and brushes his thumbs against them. He leans forward and presses another kiss against London's forehead. "I hope you feel better after getting some things off your chest."

London

London put a hand on his chest. Not to say he was taking Faelian's words too literally. "I think I do.. Thanks, Faelian." He leaned forward to kiss him on the lips.

Faelian

Faelian smiles softly. "Good. I'm glad. Talk to me anytime you want when you're troubled." He kisses London back softly.

London

"Is there anything bothering you, though?"

Faelian

He shakes his head. "Nothing else right now. I already talked about what was bothering me." He was talking about the night before, of course.

"Right now I just hope you can listen to what I said and relax some. That will make me feel better too."

London

London nods. "Talking did help a lot, like you said. I really should have spoken with you yesterday instead of acting how I did... Um.." His cheeks warm. "Faelian, do you think you can help me with something?"

Faelian

"I'm really glad it helped. Let's make sure we talk to each other when something's bothering us, okay?" He tilts his head a little wondering what London would need help with. "I could try. What do you need help with?"

London

"Can you watch over me and help make sure I don't make stupid decisions like that apathy potion again? I always feel like I need to hurt myself in order to make others happy, but it's really something I should avoid. I want to start taking better care of myself." He speaks with his eyes closed.

Faelian

He furrows his brows and gives the other bard a determined look. He hadn't known what to expect London to ask for help with but it certainly wasn't that. It really made him happy for some reason. "Yes, London, I promise. I'll do everything that I can to help. I want you to take better care of yourself too."

London

The blush on his cheeks grew darker. Unsure of what to say, London moved even closer so that they could be face-to-face. "Thank you." He mumbled in Elvish.

Faelian

London was blushing so much. It was probably hard for him to say all of these things out loud. He held his feelings in way too much after all. Faelian blushes in return at the elvish thank you. Keeping with the theme of soft voices he whispers elvish back to the other bard. “I'm happy to help.”

He slowly pulled London into another tight hug.

London

For a bit, he simply enjoyed the hug. It was nice feeling Faelian's warmth after how messy things were that last night.

#c: faelian

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

pawdon-library skit uncensored

(Night of Session 59)

Pawo

Finally reaching the library, Pawo heads to the information section and asks meekly if they have his favourite book series available to read. He gets directed to a certain section in the library, only to run into London.

London

"Woah, Pawo?!" London was just leaving the reference branch of the library when he nearly bumped into the large-coated figure. "What are you doing here?"

Pawo

"I could ask you the same." Pawo spoke quietly. "I am here...to find more volumes on a recent book series of my interest."

London

"Huh.. I didn't know you were into novels. What's the name?" He asks as if he expects to recognize it. "As for me..... Actually it's kind of a huge coincidence I bumped into you of all people.. You see, I got curious and was looking up... something related to our previous conversation...." As he speaks, it is clear by his tone there is a tint of guilt in his voice. London's awkward fumbling only added to the strangeness of his demeanor.

Pawo

Pawo scans the spines of various books and his eyes light up when his hand hovers over a tiny paperback novel. "This one." He hands London a copy of "The Dwelf Honey Love Chronicles ||: Elvish Whispers" Pawo smiles innocently. "Oh, what would you like to talk about?"

London

"The... dwelf?..." He repeats the name back while trying to comprehend it. Maybe this is the story of the child of a dwarf and an elf... He silently assumes and flips to the very last page of the book to get an idea.

Pawo

"It is a story that represents fiery devotion and sensuality." Pawo remarks in a passionate tone.

London

"Fiery devotion and sensuality, huh?..." London clears his throat. "The Dwarf Maiden's face turned beet red when the Elf girl whispered in her ear...." He switches to a quiet, sensual Elvish, "Tonight, nobody can stop our love. When I am with you, I can feel the heat in my loins rise. "

London stands silently for a few seconds before handing the book back to Pawo. "Here you go." He then turned to the bookshelf, trying his hardest not to laugh. What kind of novel series did Pawo get himself into? He felt like he was on the brink of tears.

Pawo

Pawo grins like an idiot. "Did you like it? I do not know what you just said...but I hope it meant well."

London

"Do you read a lot of stuff like this, Pawo? It's, um." He coughs. "Unexpected.. I guess you could say. A little light for me, though...." But London can't deny the fact it was about an elf and a dwarf had slightly caught his attention.... "Hm, actually, maybe I am a little interested. I don't read stuff like this too often, but it might be worth the shot. Do you know if they still have the first book available?" He looks.

Pawo

Pawo scratches his chin. "No, not in particular. I happened to find this left at the last inn. The innkeeper said I can keep it." He browses the shelf again and only finds the more recent volumes of the series. "Hmm, I do not see it here but you can always borrow mine. Here you go." Pawo hands yet another Dwelf Honey Love Chronicles book to London.

London

London's face freezes seeing the title again. He's almost scared thinking of what he's about to get himself into. "Thank you...." He said in with a hollow tone. He puts the book in his bag.

Pawo

"Of course. Do tell me what you think. The ending had a twist to it." Pawo recalls fondly. "Anyways, what did you want to discuss with me?"

London

Wh-what sort of twist?! Fuck, he can't avoid reading it now. Who let him make this commitment? "Uh.... It was...That thing we talked about... I said I was lying about having the power to remove someone's feelings for someone else, but it turns out making a potion that can do the same thing really isn't hard at all. That's scary, isn't it? It's not something I was particularly planning to tell you, but since you were here, I figured I'd share. There really is a potion for everything, huh?" He leans his back on the shelf and looks down at his feet as he talks.

Pawo

Pawo's smile fades. "Why would you want to do something like that in the first place?"

London

His demeanor stiffens and London finds himself growing a bit more tense. "Well.. I was curious....and....I guess it was just on my mind, haha..."

Pawo

"The concept of taking away someone's emotions is inconsiderate of others and overall an idea I would never recommend."

London

"Don't worry! I'd never consider pushing it on anyone. I'm sorry for worrying you.. The fact I said it might exist just made me question if it really did, is all. It never ceases to amaze me what kind of things exist in this world... Like there was that one potion Aneris got where she could command someone to do anything she wanted? And I've heard of life-extending drinks, too. It's not surprising how chaotic the world is when stuff like this is possible, right?" London laughs to cover up how terrifying the very concept really is.

Pawo

Pawo glances around the library pensively. "I suppose that is the norm around this land. In Yukar, such things would never exist because it taints the sanctity of life. You cannot deny some usage of these potions can be driven by wrath or greed."

London

"Yeah...." London seems kind of down. "But anyway! I was meaning to ask you!" He's back up again! "Do you mind fixing my shirt? I'm running low on thread and kept forgetting to ask you for this?" He laughs wearing a shirt that has had a hole in it for days.

Pawo

Pawo looks at the giant hole. "Yes, I can do that for you. How are you faring since that attack?" The shaman asks as he begins his mending.

London

"I was telling Faelian just last night, I'm surprised even a scar remained after how much you two have done." He laughs just remembering it. "But you don't need to worry, I'm used to getting into fights, so I'm not really phased by stuff like this anymore, I guess. Perfectly better." He smiles as proof of it.

With his clothes better than all fixed, his smile only grows. "Your skills are amazing." He admires the work.

Pawo

"Oh, I see. I admire your resilience." Pawo takes his hand off London's clothes. "Thank you, London. Your clothing is much lighter than my coat so I feel as if I was able to fix it with more ease." And not due to meta reasons

London

"Wool is hard to work with, huh? And also hard to clean..." He needs to think for a moment. "Hey Pawo, why do you wear that coat while we're traveling in the desert? You could take it off, couldn't you? That's got to be really hot..."

Pawo

"I do have a lighter robe that I frequent when there is a hotter climate. I am not too fond of it for...it is typically worn on a bare chest and my veins are so exposed." Pawo looks away in embarrassment.

London

"Oh..." He laughs. "Well, that seems easy enough to avoid. Why don't you just get a more conservative robe then? If you don't want others to see your chest, then that seems easy enough to cover, doesn't it?"

Pawo

"I shall consider it.." Pawo continues to look away, pressing his arm against his chest.

London

London leans forward trying to get a better look at Pawo without losing his spot next to the shelf. "Is there another reason that you are against it?"

Pawo

"No...I guess I am just shy since I was teased about my veins since I was young. I need to let go of my past quarrels." He sighs heavily.

London

"Hm, I think I can understand where you're coming from to some extent..." He stands back up to look at the library figuring Pawo would want less attention on himself at the moment. "I actually bought this scarf impulsively hoping it would hide the fact I lost my tooth. Whenever I look in the mirror I remember it actually doesn't hide anything... but maybe I got attached to the scarf anyway. I'm really grateful for the fact no one here has really talked about it. It really bothers me sometimes... But actually, it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it used to..." London blushes and turns his attention down to his feet. "Around the time I first met him, Faelian told me he thought the missing tooth was cute. At the time, we were kind of always on edge and arguing, so the comment really caught me off-guard, especially coming from someone as nitpicky about beauty as Faelian." He laughs. "But when he said it, it made me really happy.. Now I think it may be possible to just get a new tooth, but I've grown to kind of sort of like the gap there. Isn't that silly? He really deserves someone better than me.. Sorry, I didn't mean to take the attention away from you. If I remember right, he actually thought your veins were really nice to look at, too. He's always had a good eye for beauty." He smiles.

Pawo

Pawo tries not to stare at London's tooth when he talked about it. He smiles gently and relaxes his posture. "I believe you truly belong with someone as kindhearted as Faelian. I can tell that both of you support each other lovingly. Being so accepting of each other's insecurities builds a lot of trust. I want to let you know I have always overlooked your chipped tooth, although seeing how it actually alleviated your stress, I am also glad you have grown to like that part about yourself." Pawo glances quickly at the tooth. It really isn't that visible since it was on the side of London's mouth. It never bothered Pawo as he barely noticed. Pawo peeks at his skin underneath his sleeves. "Oh...well..I should thank him then."

London

"I think they look cool, too!" He smiles. "I think kids just don't appreciate these sorts of things because they're so young and don't have experience with how much variety exists in the world. If you took off your robe now, everyone would think you looked hot more than anything. Hot in a different sense than seeing you walk around wearing a wool coat if you know what I mean." His smile turns into a grin and he nudges Pawo's arm lightly with his elbow.

Pawo

Pawo nods, not very familiar with the slang London is referring. "I cannot take my robe off right now..I have seven bowls inside of it." He stares blankly at London and blinks.

London

London stares at Pawo for what felt like more than a short moment. It was such an outlandish excuse, but London knew it was true. He finally replied in nod. "You should move those to your bag sometime."

Pawo

"Ah, right. I forgot I purchased that. I am so used to my coat. Good plan." He laughs. "Anyways, I do not want to further disturb you from your reading unless you would like my company."

London

"Don't worry, I was done. If you don't mind my company, I'd be happy to follow you around, though." He looks at Pawo, then at the cheap book series wondering how long he was planning to be here. He looked again at the series. Just how many volumes did these girls have?

Pawo

"It is no problem." Pawo starts browsing through the shelves. "The last time I was here, it was with Zarek. I am very glad all of you enjoy reading so much."

London

"Woah, I forgot Zarek reads, too! What kind of stuff is he interested in?" London also begins skimming the bookcases. None of these novels really interested him

Pawo

"We were reading about information about monsters and locations. Mostly research."

London

London starts laughing. "That's so like him to be just thinking about 'the mission'! I don't know what I was expecting. It's nice to know you two are getting along, though. It seems like all of our group has gotten a lot closer than before, huh?"

Pawo

"Yes, Zarek is a swell man. I agree. I seem to be on good terms with everyone as of right now..I think.." Pawo purses his lips in thought. "Do you feel the same way?"

London

"Ah.... Not exactly. But it's complicated, and I don't want to get you involved in my drama." London sighs at the thought of it all. Pawo wasn't a fan of talking about people behind their backs anyway. He knew better than to bother him with this mess. Then he suddenly smiles. "But anyway, I've noticed you've been talking more! It's good to see you are feeling more comfortable talking within the group! By the way, I was planning to speak with you through telepathy more often.... If you don't mind. I want to start talking things out more often before I make rash decisions, and I think having you there could help me out! Or at least motivate me to be honest with my intentions more. You don't actually have to speak, but if it's no problem, I think it'd make me happy."

Pawo

Pawo makes a puzzled expression. "To tell you the truth, I already know that this drama is about Aneris finding out I learned about the revival. I just want you to know I am not mad at you for not telling me about her. I understand why you chose to not tell me. Just to clear the air with this topic." Pawo sighed. "I do feel more comfortable with the group nowadays..it is a very pleasant experience to continue to travel like this. I do not mind telepathy and I would be more than delighted to help out." He smiles back.

London

Well. That wasn't exactly what he was thinking about, but it was still good to bring up. He sighs. "Aneris is mad at more for multiple reasons... Actually, I think she hates my guts. But I kind of deserve it. I didn't intentionally leave her role out to spite her.. I thought she didn't want to be associated with the act. You know how she is. Too prideful for her own good." London laughs. "Thanks for understanding, though.. I'm glad it's not making more people mad at me."

Pawo

"I see..so you did do it on purpose. Well...she admitted she even tried to fund expenses such as food and shelter for Lacie. Her telling me that means she did let down her shield a bit, I'd say." Pawo smiled reassuringly. "Sure, I am still glad you told me in the end."

London

"Geez. Zarek caught us in the act, and she kept glaring at me so I wouldn't give him too much info. She doesn't know what she wants. But if helping Lacie was part of her instinct, it is a side of her that I'm glad existed. I know there's a lot I don't tend to say, so if you ever need me to clarify anything, don't be afraid to ask."

Pawo

"Yes, I think I am fully aware of the situation now. Anything to save that girl...I am grateful for what has transpired." Pawo frowns. "I have learned to forgive myself after Lacie's 'death'...but recently...can I truly forgive myself for exploiting my powers the way I did with the older woman?"

London

"Huh? Oh, her...." It wasn't that long ago, but London could guess why that incident left Pawo with mixed feelings. "Is the fact you did that bothering you?" He figured he should hear Pawo's thoughts on this before he gave any opinions.

Pawo

"Yes..it is really bothering me actually." Pawo sighs in frustration. "It does not help that I remembered the promise I made to Drala so recently. Did I truly use my powers for the sake of goodness? I...I think she needed help...something was amiss and I hesitated to act on it." He casts his gaze on the floor.

London

"Calm down Pawo..." He turns to look directly at him. "You helped all of those kids, right? Even if she was a victim, it doesn't erase her crime. The powers she had were extremely dangerous, and she used them for the wrong purpose. I think it's best that our method of stopping her was to take away her ability to do more harm. Even if we were able to talk her into a peaceful understanding, it would have been too soon to trust her after the atrocities she had committed." He is only assuming this isn't the first time she has done this.

Pawo

"Yes..I suppose you are right. The idea of taking her to jail irked me. I felt as if stealing her powers was enough. I do wish I knew her motivation....for a person claiming to be a parent...why would she?" Pawo continues to mope

London

"Hmm... Yeah... I feel the same actually. But I think part of it is just because I'm not a big fan of the law......" He kind of mumbles and hopes Pawo will understand. "We took her ability to continue abusing magic, and I think that was good enough. It would have been nice if we could understand her better... But I feel like it would take more than a chat to help her truly recover.. And we just didn't have the time for more." London also now begins feeling down. "Whatever her reasons, it doesn't excuse her actions. It seemed like she was just lost somehow.. You really feel strongly for parents, don't you?" He notices this now. It made sense, really.

Pawo

"That makes two of us." Pawo responds, nodding to his disapproval with the law. "You are right...well...I still hope she gets help in the end..for I have no idea what would cause something so vile to break a person." He looks back at London. "Parents..? Well...yes..I truly think the child and the parent relationship is the most pure, inviolable things to grace this world."

London

London's shoulders relax some hearing Pawo is also not a big fan of the law. "I feel like I judged you too quickly way back. You really defied my expectations of what a shaman is really like. I don't mean that in a bad way, though. I'm glad I got to know you to see how wrong I was." As Pawo spoke, London smiled. Hearing him talk about families was always nice. "Hm, I think a parental bond is precious, too. Even if no one else is by your side, it's always nice to know you can rely on them, huh? That's how I felt when I was a kid anyway. I guess I told you that when I mentioned Lacie before, huh?" Or maybe he told someone else, hm.

Pawo

"You do not have to worry about that. Misjudgment is almost a natural human reflex at this point. " Pawo replies as he thinks about Aneris. "Yes, I felt the same way. Although Mother probably believed I was spoiled by her and wanted me to rely on myself. Drala as well. I do not recall you telling me about your parents besides when I performed the ritual on you."

London

"I guess there comes an age they have to push you out of the nest..." London's not sure how familiar Pawo is with these idioms but says them anyway. "Hopefully they'll still appear for you when you really need it, and if not, at least you have all of us now.!

With the attention turned towards him, London gets a little awkward but doesn't seem against talking. "Oh, well, I mentioned them a bit a while back. It was kind of spontaneous, and I wasn't the most trustworthy guy, so I can't blame you if you forgot... Basically my father was a bard and also kind of a thief, and my mother had to stay home because she was kind of frail. I spent most of my time with her, but I really idolized my father, I guess. Since we relied on him for everything." This was embarrassing. He glances away.

Pawo

"It is all right now. I just want both of them to see how I grew up since our last encounters." Pawo gazed upwards wistfully. He then looks at London. He did not expect London to speak with such a lack of confidence in regards to his parents. "I understand there are troubles in the family at times but, was it really all right your father was a thief?"

London

"That's a good goal to aim for. It'd be nice to meet them, but I guess this will be after we all part ways, huh? Maybe one day..." His voice grows quieter as he thinks about his own parents. "My father was always a thief, I guess... Being a bard just isn't good enough in a city where everyone suspects you. There was no way around it..." Despite saying this, there is a tone of doubt in his words.

Pawo

"Maybe...Drala was the one who told me to come to Litskaedun. The chances of finding her here are not too tough." Pawo replies with hope. "You do not need to feel ashamed about the man who tried to provide care for your family. So I hope you are all right."

London

"Did she say she'd come, too? That'd be really convenient.. She sounded like such an inspirational person. It'd be really nice to meet her. As for my father.. I guess I still feel guilty for my family's circumstances.. It was kind of my fault my family's reputation had fallen apart, and instead of staying to help, I just ran away... I think I was always a burden on them ever since I was born..."

"You know, even though I really like reading now, I used to not be good at anything. It took me way too long to learn how to read or write. It must have been embarrassing... But my mother had always told me it was okay and forgave me for everything. I want to make it up to them somehow. But even though I said I'd save up money and help pay off their debt, I'm still spending recklessly. I'm a mess."

Pawo

"She did not. I just know she likes the area." Pawo answers happily. Hopefully he will meet Drala once more in this lifetime. He continues to listen to London and his mood grows grim.

"I have no right to judge the situation with your family but..to call yourself a burden...I have no idea how to weigh in on this topic." Pawo sighs defeatedly. "Often times I find myself in the same position with my own mother. But even if part of me believes in the downside to all of this, I still keep my head above the water. I want to believe that there is still a positive outcome. I still believe there is a chance that everything will work out and...this is not the best advice but I want you to keep faith that your family will still accept you. You are a loving, caring person and you have matured to realise mistakes of your past. If you are trying to redeem yourself, then continue to do so. It means you still have hope, right?" Pawo half smiles. It was hard to judge London's position.

London

London listened carefully to Pawo's words and found himself in spite of himself. Hearing his reassurance always carried a warm feeling and hope. "Thank you, Pawo. I was probably worrying too much.. A while back, I finally got the courage to send a message to them, but I never heard back. I think that's the only reason I'm holding back. But I should try to stay hopeful.." He seems to nod to himself both in answer to Pawo and himself.

Pawo

The fear of hurting London's feelings lifted off of Pawo's shoulders. He could tell both of them knew reality could easily crush faith but the fact that it did not weigh them down was what mattered. "It is all right to worry. But...one letter does not mean the end of it all. There is still so much time to improve."

London

"Hehe, yeah..." He prepares to say more but holds himself back by biting his lower lip. After taking a breath, he continues. "It's not that I'm scared I need to improve.. I think I'm more worried that I will find them dead... I have nightmares about that kind of stuff a lot, and I can never tell if it's just a dream or a premonition. Do you get worried about those sorts of things, too?"

Pawo

Even with the discussion of death, the shaman's mood does not change. He tries to be more sympathetic with London in any case. "Yes, of course, those thoughts have been plaguing my head for so many years. I do not deny it is a possibility. My mentality on death is incredibly traditional...I am sure it will not help your cause." Pawo sighed.. "But living with regret for the rest of your years is not something that should be an option. You do not deserve to suffer in this sense. These types of things...have to be accepted and forgiven, as I was taught."

London

"Yeah... I guess, that's why I've avoided scrying my family. I think if something did happen, I'd be able to take it easier in person. Hmm, maybe you feel similarly, huh?"

Pawo

"Yes..I know you have this ability but it fills me with dread if you use it on my mother...even if it is the only way right now." Pawo looks downwards.

London

"Hm, spying on someone who doesn't know me could scare them, huh?.... I guess that's another reason to avoid it." He finally considers the fact.

Pawo

"Yes, most definitely." Pawo shakes his head.

London

"Y-yeah..." Shit, he needs to get off this awkward subject fast. He probably didn't approve of all those times he spied on August, too. "I'll use my powers more responsibly next time! So, anyway...! I think I should probably head out now. It's getting dark. Try not to stay up too late, Pawo."

Pawo

Pawo waves. "See you around. Let us discuss the contents of Dwelf Honey Love chronicles later."

London

"Yeah!" He forgot he was borrowing that book. London headed out.

#c: pawo

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Pawdon Morning Soup - Waiting on Pawo arc

(After session 55 Day 2 Morning)

Pawo

Rather than his usual morning routine, Pawo focused on providing everyone with food during the camp out. He was done foraging and was briskly mixing up ingredients together by the campfire.

London

London woke up after a rather tired night, but he felt more rested than he had been in the past 48 hours. He approached Pawo yawning. "Hey, Pawo. How are you?" An unnaturally normal question.

Pawo

Pawo greeted London happily. "Good morning, London. I am all right. How are you faring? Would you like to try some of my soup? It is a new recipe."

London

"Really?!" His eyes widened then quickly narrowed with false suspicion. "What kind of recipe?"

Pawo

"Yes. I never used thyme mixed with cauliflower before. It is very nutritional for you. Care for a bowl?"

London

"Huh, I've never tried it either..." London is a newb with seasoning. "Sure, I'll try some! Thanks Pawo."

Pawo

"All right, one moment. I must add the last components...leek." And like an idiot, Pawo wipes down his ornate dagger and starts slicing thin pieces of leek. He then puts it back. After a brief moment of mixing, Pawo hands London a bowl of soup. "Enjoy."

London

After expectantly watching, London gladly takes the bowl and almost instantly starts drinking out of it. Pawo could tell just by his features that he was enjoying the soup. "It's great! Thanks Pawo!" He said it again with more enthusiasm.

"By the way, I never noticed how fancy your cooking knife is. Another gift?" He tilts his head and stares at the treasure.

Pawo

Pawo beams. "That is good to hear. Beaford has an issue with his taste buds so having him try my cooking is not ideal. So I shall trust your judgment." The shaman did not realize London never saw his dagger. "Oh, this is not a cooking knife. I simply refuse to carry sharp objects around me. It is a dull edged dagger...and I suppose it is a gift." He twirls it in his hand as he wipes it down once more. Pawo stares at a circle of demon head emblems crown the top of the object.

London

"Ah, that's right... He told me about that. I hope one day he'll be able to taste again. He'd love it for sure."

London watches Pawo display the ornate knife. "The detail's on par with what the elves offered. Actually, it's even more incredible. How long have you had it?" He would try to guess its age but that was not his forte

Pawo

Pawo steps away from the fire and comes closer to London so the bard could get a closer look. "This is from a Tiefling smithery shop actually. I have had it since I was...sixteen." Pawo recalls

London

London sweats trying to remember if that was before or after Pawo's mother had abandoned him. It was a sensitive subject, so he didn't want to ask. "Have you seen tieflings in person?" While he asked, his head turned from the left to the right examining the dagger. It was clear now the edge really was dulled. It really suited Pawo's passive nature.

Pawo

"I have not, I have only heard of them. Have you?" Pawo wondered if they were a rare sight.

London

"I haven't..." He sighed. "Maybe we'll see one on our journey, though! We've already seen plenty of other races. Still, I'm more curious how you heard of tieflings before and not elves." He laughed.

Pawo

"I would like to see one. I wish it was possible to visit the Tiefling smithery since it is located in Litskaedun but I have no idea if it is still active in its business." Pawo poured himself a bowl of soup as he contemplated the idea. "The person who made this dagger worked under a tiefling. So she told me about them." Pawo casually answers but returns to pondering the tiefling race. "They are interesting...for their ancestors are aligned with evil yet tieflings nowadays want to be seen for more than their demonic past. I respect them for this nature...nobody is born inherently evil to me."

London

London listened in awe at the tiefling history. This was all very new information to him. He wasn't even sure where to begin. He once again looked at the dagger. "So is that the reason for the creature at the top?" He points at the emblem.

Pawo

"Oh no. This has nothing to do with tieflings. The demons represent evil spirits. This dagger is used to encapsulate evil spirits who escaped from the realm. It was just made in a Tiefling smithery. I must have rambled on a tangent about the race..my mistake."

London

"You don't have to apologize. It was my fault for making assumptions. So is the person who made the dagger the one who gave it to you as a gift?" So it wasn't an old artifact after all. Or that's what he was led to assume if that person was a human.

Pawo

"I consider it a gift. She put her spiritual energy into this after all. Similar to how I made your bracelet except well...her crafting and shaman skills are far superior to mine. If that is all right." Pawo laughs awkwardly. Sometimes his own honesty killed him.

London

He gets distracted. "Wait. You put spiritual energy in the bracelets you gave to me and Faelian?" London asks this with no tact at all, but maybe that mirrors how comfortable he is with talking to the shaman more than how terrible his social skills are.

Pawo

"Yes, I believe I did. There should be a spiritual blessing in them. I will gladly recharge the bracelets for you if it is null."

London

While Pawo asks, London begins to shuffle through his backpack to reveal the bracelet. It had not been used since he had received it. "I don't think it needs charging... But how does it work?" He was really getting off topic, but he figured he'd jump back to the conversation soon enough.

Pawo

"Oh right...I should have explained. Just break off one of the bodhi seeds. The totem activates once you break a part of it off."

London

"Wow, that's really cool..." He takes his time to examine the string intertwining the seeds. "You really went out of your way to make this before, and I feel like I didn't show you enough gratitude. You really are a nice person.." After saying that he put the bracelet back. "Anyway, back on topic! Did you learn how to transfer your magic into objects through this person? You never mentioned her before, so I'm curious."

Pawo

"It is no problem at all. In fact, I made these bracelets to show my gratitude." Pawo placed his hand on his chest. "Oh, yes I did. I never mention her because...I feel guilty thinking about her at times." Pawo cast his gaze to his dagger. "She taught me shamanistic spells that my mother could never fathom." He admits with a deep, heavy, sigh.

London

London wants to ask what he ever did to deserve gratitude but is quickly distracted by Pawo's words. So this was probably after his mother left him? "You're guilty because she taught you so much stuff?"

Pawo

"Well...there is so much more to it than that. I am not sure how to explain this properly but...I love that woman..like my own mother....and the thought of disappointing her strikes fear into my heart" Pawo's lips quivered as he spoke.

London

Somehow this seemed different from the usual sense of adoration London had seen Pawo give mothers, but maybe he was overthinking things. "Is that so.... Does that mean you feel bad because you are worried she might replace the mother you knew? Or..." London had a feeling he was definitely on the wrong track. Pawo's guilt appeared to come from the thought of upsetting the woman more than anything.

Pawo

Pawo exhales. "No..I am sorry for berating you with such a heavy thought. I have been...thinking about my mothers lat-............" Pawo's eyes widened. What. Did. He. Just. Say. "He paused for a moment, trying to restart his thoughts. What I meant is that..she is my mentor. After Mother left me, this woman nurtured me in a completely different way. She has expectations of me Mother never enforced on my life. I can imagine she would surely disapprove of me telling you all of this information.."

London

It was difficult to know how to respond to Pawo's unusual behavior. In fact, the more he heard, the more concerned he would get. "Is it something you aren't supposed to tell me?"

Pawo

"No...but it hurts..because...telling you this means I truly trust you." Pawo closed his eyes and grimaces. "I have not seen her in over six or seven years. She told me...to stay clear of attachment."

London

"Are you saying that she...." London couldn't finish the question. If Pawo was suffering because his mother left him, then the thought that his mentor also parted ways was too much. If he was forced to keep it all a secret and act unaffected, London couldn't even imagine what strength a man would need to contain such emotions. "Hey Pawo, why do you want to be a shaman?"

Pawo

Pawo turned to London, with barely any emotion showing on his face. "I never had a choice in the first place."

London

"Don't say that. You weren't forced to follow the rules of being a shaman all of your life, were you? You've been working so hard to ensure your death won't be in vain, but that was through your own strength of will, wasn't it?"

Pawo

"No..I suppose nobody ever forced me. I never knew any other way to live my life. And while I am blessed with spiritual powers, I cannot surpass certain boundaries. When Mother left me, I was so overwhelmed by emotions that I could not access the spirit realm, let alone any of my powers. It made me feel like a failure of a shaman. At the end of it all...I still regained my access to the realm through my own determination. You are correct in your judgment." Pawo pulled his sleeves up to watch his spirit veins sift through his arm. He looked pensive in thought.

London

"Pawo, I know you've spent your whole life living as a shaman, but you've also spent your entire life traveling, right? You've witnessed and experienced many things and seen many people and lifestyles. You told me that you liked to learn about the different cultures of the world, and you go out of your way to help people who have nothing. I know it's a bit insensitive, but.. I think the fact you wanted to be a shaman even after your mother left and you lost your powers says something more about you. You could have settled down and lived and died a death like anyone else, but even now, when there's no one to guide you, you're still trying so hard."

"You said that revival was dangerous, and the things you did were for the benefit of the world. When you see kids or mothers, you always look so happy, and you talk about life and death with such tenderness. I know that you think you are doing this job because it is your duty, but isn't part of it also because you care? If you didn't, then I don't see why you'd go through the trouble of finding Lacie a mother or risk your life to save others. As much as you try to avoid it, you feel things just as much as anyone else, and there's nothing wrong with it because it's led to amazing things, Pawo. You gave Lacie a family and you opened my eyes and helped me face the insecurities of my past. Just yesterday you managed to stave off an attack that could have seriously injured Beaford, and I thought that was really cool. My point is, you love this world just as much as anyone else and that isn't something you should be afraid of."

Pawo

Pawo had his mouth agape. He has never had anyone tell him this before. Was it really the truth? It went against everything he was taught...he could barely form a sentence. "London..." His voice trembled. "In situations where I want to help people ..I never think about my karma or their karma. It is never about pride..I feel like saving people has become second nature for me...and I guess that is not a very technical thought for a shaman." Pawo admits.

"But emotions shatter my heart. I cannot think properly. That is why my mentor wanted me to stay clear of them. I become so vulnerable...it is shameful. If she finds out how much I care about Beaford..." Pawo shakes his head. "I can only tell this to you because I..am still afraid of everything. I do not want you to think of me as a spiritual missionary of great wisdom. Please do not look up to me..I am scared of everyone close to me. And all I can do in this position is keep my distance."

London

The early morning was still and muted. It made the shaking in Pawo's voice even more heartrending. London finally set the bowl he was holding down in order to give Pawo his full attention. He sat in front of him with his eyes lowered contemplating exactly what to say. "I'm not really sure how to say this..." He sighed. "No, it's probably really selfish. what I am about to say, that is... but I don't agree with your mentor's mentality. I think emotions can be a wonderful thing, and they can make both of us stronger. You didn't need magic to save Beaford yesterday. I mean.. I'll be the first to admit, what you did was entirely irrational, but had you acted rationally, he could have been hit. He could have been killed. If being a shaman means allowing the people you love to die, then what's even the point of pursuing such a life?"

"God. Isn't this the exact same thing we scolded Beaford for? If having strong magic means sacrificing what it means to be alive then it's useless. It doesn't matter how powerful it makes you if you are left too apathetic to care about anything in this world. Can you really look me in the eye and tell me that your feelings for Beaford are a hindrance? Think about everything that you've done since you've opened your heart to him. They haven't weakened you at all."

Pawo

The shaman should have expected this. He knew trying to close himself off would never work and wondered how his mentor managed to go through with her ideology throughout her life. However, he still felt the need to defend her. "Please do not get the impression that Drala is a heartless monster. She most certainly feels emotions and she feels them vehemently. She just finds allowing yourself to dwell on your emotions as a distraction. She was born with evil powers and through willpower alone felt the desire to bring good to the world. I admire her greatly and..Drala risks her life all the time combating evil. She wanted to teach me this lesson...so I could follow in her footsteps. I knew that she cared about me and wanted to watch me grow." Pawo rubbed the creases of his eyes with his hands. "Beaford....did I really open up to him? I am too much of a coward to tell him any of this..I could barely scold him myself. But I know I'd sacrifice any power for him." Pawo paused. This was a part of him that he loathed. He felt ungrateful.

"I am starting to believe the thing that has weight on my soul is not my powers but this sense of reputation. Recently I have been thinking back on when Drala held a shamanic ritual for me. At the time, it felt like I truly earned this title. Nowadays I wonder if I deserved such a blessing. After everything Drala did for me, I admit that I could break her promise? That is what scares me the most." He furrowed his brow.

London

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult her... but keeping your emotions to yourself can't be a good thing. Maybe your mentor could manage it, but you are two different people. You can't help feeling things. Just suppressing them until they are too much to handle... isn't that what you should really watch out for?" The more London spoke, the more guilt he felt. Admiring someone and wanting to earn their recognition was a familiar feeling. He really couldn't blame Pawo, but... He shook his head to ward off such thoughts.

"Even though you respect her, this is your life to live. It's clear you are stuck between two very different paths. The longer you hesitate, the harder this is going to be. You need to make up your mind exactly what you want in life and hold no regrets. If you want to love Beaford then do it with pride. If you want to live up to your mentor's reputation then harden your soul. It's not too late to abandon what feelings you have for others. But you need to keep in mind that this is your life and not Beaford's or Drala's. Don't choose to love Beaford because he wants you to, and don't follow Drala's footsteps just because she expects you to."

He paused to catch his breath after saying so much. "This is a secret just between you and me, but I actually have the power to take emotions. It is a scary ability, but if you want to be just like your mentor, I can erase the love you have for Beaford and make that possible. But only if that is what you truly want." He stares at Pawo with a very serious expression.

Pawo

While London gave Pawo sound advice, Pawo's thoughts became even more indecisive and scattered. How could he choose between people he loves so much? Not to mention he is still scared to confront either one of them. He slouched his body, head hanging down. "Even though I can spiritually reach enlightenment through my inherited powers, I am not at all ready mentally. I agree with you, London. You often think so rationally...even when it comes down to emotions. And you have become more aware of my culture and past, I respect this a lot. However, you have misunderstood many of my qualms." Pawo explained. He reciprocated London's expression upon the bard's proposal.

"Drala..is a loving person. I know it is hard to believe with how I described her but she expresses love in a much different way. To take away my emotions would be selfish of me. My mother taught me about compassion and joy. What Drala meant in her teaching was to love in moderation, without being overbearingly desperate like how I was before I met her. To toss away my emotions would be an insult to both my mother and Drala. It would also in turn hurt Beaford the most. Eradicating my emotions would be the worst mistake of my life. I...I just need to learn how to balance the two ends of this spectrum."

London

That was the second time he had made that mistake. London withdrew his head regretting his words. Pawo obviously respected this person. He really needed to think through what he was saying before he spoke.

"You said it so clearly already, but I still misunderstood. I'm sorry Pawo." He held his head down. "I think I see what you mean now... So your struggle is finding that balance... Hmm... Before I say more, I think I'd like to hear more about Drala. That way I won't continue to make mistakes. Like... what is this ritual that you mentioned? And what was the promise you made to her? If you don't mind me asking..." Saying this helped him to recover from the setback. Expecting a story, London repositioned himself to sit more comfortably, ready for anything.

Pawo

"Do not worry about it, London." Pawo smiled reassuringly. "It is easy to think she is cold-hearted at first glance. Even with how I describe her. When I turned 18, it was already two years since I studied under her wing. It was only until then that I was able to finally access the spirit realm again. Drala felt the need to celebrate my ascension. Similar to when I helped you find your spiritual guide, Drala drew her own blood and marked me with it. Your body is completely naked except for an apron made of bones. It is a very traditional and honoured ceremony for shamanism. Drala's blessing through her blood summoned back my spirit form. It was stronger than ever." Pawo explained.

"The promise was for me to always use my powers for the good of this world and to never abuse them. Drala is a pacifist but her inherited powers are destructive. As a result, she cannot heal...only damage. And in this regard, this is why she uses daggers to trap evil. I suppose...in a way...she wants to live this idea of goodness through me. I do not mind it at all. I am sure Mother would want the same from me." Pawo's fingers tightly wrapped around the dagger.

London

London listened intently and could feel the warmth in Pawo's words. He really did have the wrong impression of her all along. Seeing Pawo smile helped him even more. "She does sound like a good person..." He admitted then glanced down again. "Um... Why did she leave?..." Last time he had asked about Pawo's mother, and he could tell it hurt him. The fact Pawo wasn't with his mentor had to be a sensitive topic, as well, but he couldn't help wondering.

Pawo

Pawo continued to smile. "We parted ways. She sought for me to mature and start growing on my own accord. It was never as abrupt as how Mother left me. We both felt ready to move on...as I would like to think of our last goodbye."

London

Those words lifted some of the weight off of his shoulders. It really did sound like she was a good inspiration for Pawo. Finally able to relax a bit, London sighed. "I feel a little late in saying this, but... sorry for arguing against her beliefs so adamantly." He glances away. "It really was selfish of me, and not just because I was debating the values that you grew up with, but... I really liked the fact you talked to me about all of this."

"When you said it was a danger to trust in others and open up to them, I felt a little sad. I like hearing you talk. Whether it's about the good or the bad things in your life. It's nice feeling so close to you. But it's also sad to think that you must refrain from allowing yourself to feel the same way. I'm not really helping your dilemma, am I..." Between all of Pawo's values, it really must have been difficult to moderate. "But I want to believe that it is possible for you to both love Beaford and stay true to your promise. She only asked you to use your powers for the good of the world, right? So having some love for someone on the side shouldn't get in the way of anything." He naively hoped.

Pawo

"I appreciate your care for my relationship with Beaford. I think I feel more ready to take responsibilities for my actions. I believe Drala just wishes for me to keep my powers and never sacrifice them...so I truly hope I can keep my word." Pawo rocked back in place. He pushed his hair out of his face and his earrings jangled. "You know..." Pawo glanced at London with tenderness in his eyes. "When you embraced me after I performed a ritual on you, it took me aback. It made me realize how trusting you were of me despite the fact that I masked my emotions the whole time. So I hope with this conversation, I made it up to you. I wanted you to see me for who I am without the shamanic title attached to me. Even if I am still lost, scared, and hurting, I felt you had every right to see this side of me too."

London

"Oh..." London felt his cheeks warm upon hearing this. He did wonder if it was alright for Pawo to be so open with his emotions throughout the conversation, but it made sense knowing he was did it intentionally. "I guess this is a one time only thing then, huh?..." He didn't mean to sound discouraged, but the tone accidentally slipped out.

Pawo

"No...I will make amends with myself. I want to change, and not be so scared anymore. So I hope with this conversation...I will be more comfortable with who I am. This journey is already much longer than I anticipated. There is still time for us to grow." Pawo watches the campfire's flames flicker as he speaks.

London

Pawo could see the glimmers of joy light up London's face. He really didn't need to say anything and just nodded.

"I'm really happy to hear! I'm glad... And I was thinking... If before, when you lost your powers, you were able to gain them back, I'm sure it could happen again. I mean.." London paused. He really needed to piece his own words together before he continued. "You said your mentor helped you previously when you had lost your way... If it ever happens again, I'm sure it won't be a hopeless situation. And, well.. I'm glad. I'm happy to hear that you will be yourself even around others. I think everyone can appreciate that some. I can't wait for them to see the new you." He hummed.

"Oh wait!" The good mood was quickly distracted. "Before I forget, I wanted to tell you.. I, uh.. actually lied about the whole emotion removal ability... Sorry. I was just testing you, but I realize it was kind of a naughty thing. I'm still trying to cope with exactly how to handle my lying habit... I wanted to stop completely, but I still see some uses for lying sometimes, you know... It's kind of a difficult thing, but I hope it doesn't make you trust me any less..." London glanced down. Saying this right after lying to him was probably not very convincing. He grimaced.

Pawo

Pawo listened along carefully and nodded. He was happy with how things were going up until London's last remark. The shaman scowled. "So...in one of my most intimate moments with you, you told a lie...to get a reaction out of me? It is more than just 'naughty'." Pawo tried to maintain his cool but boy did he hate lying. "Why...would you do this?"

London

His breathing stopped. That wasn't the response he was hoping for. "I.... There's no excuse... I just wanted you to think about what you really wanted - to see if that would help you reach a decision. But it was a horrible idea, especially since it was based on a misunderstanding in the first place. I should have treated you with more respect. I..." Saying it was a force of habit felt like he was just making excuses. London shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Pawo

Pawo huffed. "And in the future? How will I know if you tell the truth now? That was a serious proposal you told me."

London

"I can't blame you if you doubt me... All I can really ask is for you to trust me when I say I have the best intentions in mind, but I know that's not enough to make up for it. I-it wasn't a total lie, though! If you really were going to consider it, I'm sure I could find something that could do the same thing! There really is a potion for about anything you can imagine... It's kind of terrifying.. But that's getting off topic."

London looked like he wanted to say something more but stopped himself before continuing. "If no one else, I'll try my best not to lie to you, Pawo. It might be tough, but maybe it will be good for me. Since my fight with Faelian, I've been taking all sorts of steps to try and be more honest with everyone. I know it's nothing much yet.. But when I do lie, I at least admit it after the fact. I used to not even do that.."

Pawo

Pawo sighed in frustration. "I stated I did not want to lose my emotions. If I were to agree to your idea, it would be implying I would cross Beaford. Your intentions still feel malicious to me no matter how much you try to excuse this." Pawo meets eye to eye with London, nearly glaring at him. He spoke in a low voice. "If you seek my forgiveness and a second chance, do not tell me you will 'try your best'. You will not lie to me under any circumstances. Period. If the thought of lying to me even comes to your head, think of your possible consequences. I do not want a repeat of this."

London

Seeing Pawo so stern was intimidating. London swallowed back his fear and continued to meet his gaze. "I don't want to lie to you....It's hard." He glanced down. "Can I confess something to you?"

Pawo

Pawo's gaze was unwavering. "What is it?"

London

"Back when we went to the abyss, when I lied to everyone about the dragon's crystal, I was really upset at myself. I told Faelian I wouldn't lie anymore previously, but when Beaford was insistent on facing Roun, I didn't know what else to do and just spoke on instinct. Afterwards it was agonizing. I hated the idea that I could risk everyone's trust in me like that, and I apologized for lying, but they told me it was the right choice to make. I feel like I've been kind of lost since then. I don't know when it's okay to lie and when it's not... I've never been too sure."

He turned his eyes back to Pawo. "But I understand that it can be really harmful, especially to you, so I'll try - no - I'll definitely avoid it for your sake. I only ask that if I do lie again, please find some way to forgive me. It's difficult because I don't really trust myself. I'm always messing up and making mistakes. If there's any way I can make it up to you that doesn't involve you losing your complete trust in me, then I'll take it. Even if it involves giving you everything that I own or suffering some severe punishment. Anything would be better than losing you as a friend... Maybe it would be better if I were just mute."

Pawo

The tension eased on Pawo's face and mood. Listening to London's reaction to his own lie was already enough for Pawo to feel he could trust him. The shaman respected a man who could admit his faults. "The way you speak about the lie regarding the dragon sounds like you regret it considerably. Lies to protect others still come with heavy risk. Even if your plan prevented Beaford from harm, do not take this as a way to rely on deceit in future situations. I understand it is difficult to change your instincts, but there is no personal gratification in lying. It is a double edged sword." Pawo spoke sternly. "It is rare for me to base forgiveness on words rather on actions, but I shall make this exception for you. And do not even suggest being mute for the sake of avoiding lying. You can continue to lie to me as I blatantly decide to trust you but that guilt is perched on your shoulder. It is the type of guilt that will suffocate you, no matter if you choose to stay silent or lie. There is no harsher punishment than your own conscience."

London

Pawo's words were so meaningful. Even if he said not to, London couldn't help but admire him even more after everything was said. But despite their comfort, London still looked troubled.

"I think.... Telling the truth to you would be better for me. In Beaford's case, I knew he was lying, and I knew there were drawbacks in being honest with him, but with you, I think I can be completely honest with no fears." His voice cracked under the pressure. London brought a hand over his mouth not expecting saying such a thing to affect him so. He was a little embarrassed and didn't know why saying such a thing felt like such a big deal, but he quickly regained his composure. "I'm sorry... I should have just promised not to lie to you in the first place. I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest first." He admitted shyly.

Pawo

Pawo tried to retain his austerity in this conversation but he was gradually softening up. "If this dilemma was troubling you...and even if you lied to me about something so serious, I am glad to hear that our conversation helps you reconsider your actions. I do not want resentment to come between our friendship. If anything, I believe us opening up to each other was mutually beneficial. I remember how easily it upset me when you discussed my culture in such a manner a while back ago...I think I have changed from then. We have both learnt from each other to become more understanding. So I will forgive you with this in mind."

London

"I'm grateful. Thank you, Pawo." London finally smiled, relieved things worked out despite his behavior. "Having this chance to talk so openly with you, I feel like I want to say so much.." Then he heard the bustle of someone waking up in the nearby carriage. "But I guess this should be good enough for now. Are you sure things are okay between us? I'll really make sure to never lie to you again.. but I can understand if it might be difficult to believe me for the time being."

Pawo

"It is no problem. Everything is fine..and thank you for hearing me out as well. I feel like I have a lot to think about." Pawo looked at his dagger one last time before putting it back in his coat. Realizing he spent more time talking than cooking, Pawo promptly went back to the task at hand.

London

"Take your time." London smiled and then offered to help with the breakfast preparations realizing they were behind schedule.

#c: pawo

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Faedon’s on Fire (and not in a good way): Part 2 - London’s Apology

(Session 76 - Day 5 - Inn of an unknown town - After ‘Faelian’s Apology’)

((Warning: adult themes// nsfw :judging: This skit is painful to read.))

London

It was only 10 minutes before the door opened and London returned, a tray in hand, ready to interrupt Faelian's music. "Hey Faelian! I don't know if you saw, but they were giving away some chocolate dipped strawberries, so I thought you might want some. They said they were picked fresh only hours ago, then cooled with a bit of ice magic. Here."

Faelian

"Huh?" Faelian hadn't even got his lute ready. "What are you doing back so soon?" He looks at the tray. "Thanks." He heads over and grabs one and wastes no time taking a bite.

London

London smiles and sits near him to join in eating, but he didn't have much of a chance to think to himself, so he still seemed lost in thought. "...So did you ever decide if there was any other stuff you wanted me to keep in mind in regards to the open relationship? Since you've had a little more time to think about it."

Faelian

He finishes the strawberry and grabs another. "Hm. I'm not sure. Why?" He looked over at London now.

London

He laughs. "Do you even need to ask why? It's the same reason I asked yesterday... Things are still starting out, so I want to make sure we're on the same page about everything."

Faelian

"I thought we already talked most things out though." He takes another bite of a strawberry. "Was there something that wasn't clear?"

London

"No, I mean..." The laugh turn into a sigh. "I was just checking if you had anything new to say. That's all." Then he laughs again. "Weren't you the one saying I have a bad habit of taking things you say too seriously? You're reading way too into this."

Faelian

He scratches into his hair a little. "I didn't think of anything new yet." He tilts his head looking at London curiously. "What do you mean? You said you wanted to make sure we're on the same page so I asked if something was unclear. How is that reading too much into something?"

London

"I meant same page as in... if there was anything new, I'd like to know. It's really not a big deal."

Faelian

"Nothing new that I can think of..." He looks like he's thinking. "Was there something you wanted to bring up?" London was being kind of weird.

London

"I don't think there's anything new on my side..." He holds his hand to his chin thinking back on things. "Oh wait! I guess since we had that conversation yesterday, I'd like to ask you to watch out for diseases, too. I don't think the other rules are as concerning to me, so you probably don't need to follow them, yourself." :whoops:

He thinks a bit more.

"Well I'm sure for you it goes without saying, but bathing would be appreciated, too."

Faelian

"Oh ok. Yeah, I'll be careful so you don't have to worry about that." He nods. You don't have to worry about that either. Of course I'll bathe properly after that kind of thing. You on the other hand... just wiping off isn't good enough.. I know you've been bathing more lately but still..."

London

"I know, I know... Don't worry, I wouldn't be slimy enough to go straight to you for attention after something like that anyway. Not that I'd have the energy for more." London nibbles the chocolate shell off first before taking a bite of the bare strawberry. "So you said you didn't want to know about anything that happens at least until you got more used to the open relationship thing, and you want me to always bathe afterwards, and watch out for diseases, right? Are you sure there's nothing else?"

Faelian

"Good.. because i'd be really upset if you did something like that. " He finishes the second strawberry and takes a third. "Hm.. that's not what I said. I said I didn't want to know anything about them or hear the details until I got more used to the relationship. The rest is right though. Also don't get any girls pregnant.. unless you really want to be responsible for the kid or something. And even then uh.. it might be a bad idea anytime soon. It would be really hard to raise a child while traveling, you know?"

London

London pushes a second strawberry into his mouth and talks with a muffled voiced while looking at Faelian with a bored expression. "Hmm? Howsh that different than what I said?" He swallows the strawberry.

Faelian

"What are you talking about? Of course that's different. I want to know when you start messing around because I want to know when you're going out so I won't have to wait on you to come back to the room. I just don't want to know what they look like or hear any details about your relationship." He finishes off his strawberry.

London

"I can say I'm going out without having to say what I'm doing, though, right? If I don't expect to come back, I'll just say so-" He coughs and chokes on the strawberry. "Wait, what?!"

Faelian

"Why would you do that though? That's hiding stuff. It's suppose to be an open relationship." He looks at London curiously.

London

He coughs some more. "Th-that's not what it means by open, but that's beside the point! So you actually wanted me to tell you about stuff?!"

Faelian

"Maybe that's not what it means but it would be weird if you were just shady about it." He nods. "Yeah. Of course? I never said not to tell me. Just not to give me details about the person or the sex."

London

"Wait, what do you mean shady?" He gets distracted and grumbles. "I thought you didn't want to know about it at all dammit."

Faelian

"Well it's like you're going behind my back if you just vanish, isn't it?" He furrows his brows and looks at London seriously.. "H-Huh? Have you already been doing it? Is that were you were all night?"

London

"Ugh. We can talk about what you mean by shady later." London rubs his forehead. "Yeah, I totally misunderstood... Last night was complicated....."

Faelian

Faelian looks a little bit angry and hurt right away. "So you were out last night having sex? After telling me you'd be back in a little while and never even came back? And then you told me you were out thinking all night earlier. If that's not shady then what is? I was worried over you and waited up for you because you said you'd be back." His expression eases up. "Yeah, I wanted to know. Is that the first time you've done it so far?"

London

London bites another strawberry. "I told you, I just misunderstood... The only reason I didn't say what I did was because I thought you didn't want to know anything about it."

Faelian

He frowns. "I should have been more clear. I'm still mad that you said you would be back in a little while and then stayed out all night. Tell me next time if you're not going to come back so I won't have to wait up for you or so that I can go out to do something too." He sighs and eats another strawberry. Was the sex bad or something? Is that why London came in asking the kind of stuff he did earlier? He didn't feel like asking. He didn't think London would go out and have sex that soon either. Especially considering how hard it was to get him into bed most of the time.

London

"I really wasn't planning to be gone all night... It was supposed to be just like usual." This time he could only play with the strawberry in his hand. Although London's head was lowered, it was still easy to see he was embarrassed by the incident.

Faelian

Faelian looks down now too and fiddles with the end of the strawberry. "Well... if you go out planning to not do anything and change your mind you should at least come back and tell me or something so I don't sit there waiting for you. If there's a possibility that you're going to do something you should at least tell me not to wait up or that you'll be gone all night." He glanced over at London for a moment before looking back at the leaves in his hands. "At least this mess is cleared up early." He wants to ask London about his night after all and presses his lips together tightly for a moment where London can't see. He raises his head finally. "Hm.. how was it suppose to be like usual?"

London

"I really was planning to come back... It's complicated." London sighs. "I'm glad it's cleared up, too." "By like usual I just meant... I usually come back kind of late, so going out and coming back late wouldn't have been any different from most days."

Faelian

"I'm still not sure what you mean by it being complicated. I mean you had to have been flirting or asked to have sex with someone and that doesn't sound complicated."

"Oh.. yeah. I thought you'd be back sooner because of what you said. When you didn't come back by one or two I just decided to sleep.."

London

"Oh did it give that impression?" He looks a little surprised. "Uh.. I mean, I thought I'd definitely be back before morning.. but things didn't go so smoothly. Anyway, I'm sorry. It doesn't matter what the reasons are. I still regret the fact. That's why I apologized earlier, too."

Faelian

"That's just how it usually works, isn't it? Someone has to ask or be flirting. I'm curious to know how it didn't go smoothly but I guess you'd rather not talk about it."

"Alright.. just try not to leave me waiting anymore. Don't tell me you'll be back soon if you don't know you will be, okay?"

London

"I-I mean! You said you didn't want to know about it!" London raises his voice and tries to defend himself but then quickly realizes this fact and settles down embarrassed. "Yeah, I'll be sure to. I'm sorry."

Faelian

"Well, when you say something like 'it didn't go smoothly' of course i'm going to be curious. Also maybe it's okay to answer my questions about it. You asked me all kinds of questions about Noro after all."

"Okay. Thanks."

London

"I mean... If you really want to know..." The blush doesn't leave his face and he looks away awkwardly. "I just thought things would be quick and end quickly, but to put it vaguely, I guess there was kind of a physical handicap and they were kind of needy, so by the point I wanted to leave and talk to you, things had progressed so far that it was kind of difficult to."

Faelian

Faelian thinks for a few minutes. "Handicap? Like lost an arm or a leg or something like that? were they clingy? It was just a fling, wasn't it? You could have just left them." He sighs softly.

London

"I guess you could call that... kind of a handicap... They really weren't clingy... nn.." Was he supposed to say everything? London grimaced. "Just how much do you want to know? I'm still not sure what's okay to say or not. Wasn't I supposed to avoid details to keep you from getting uncomfortable?"

Faelian

"I'll tell you when I've heard too much. I kind of want to know.. For now just answer my questions, I guess?" He tilts his head and itches into his hair. "I want to know the handicap and why you had to stay."

London

"Right..." London pushed the food away and looked down solemnly. "I don't know what you're expecting.... So you see, the guy just had that issue where it's really hard to get an erection. He said he wanted to be tied up, so by the time I found out, he was already stuck and it was just really difficult to walk away even if I wanted to. Did that answer everything?"

Faelian

Faelian put his hand over his mouth and looked away. "Oh.. I see..." He probably shouldn't laugh... "So you were top then? Or bottom?" New questions.

He laughs a little anyway. "I probably would have left him.. I guess that's mean but someone should give that kind of thing a warning first."

London

He gets more embarrassed. "Um....." This was tough to answer. Was this how it felt being on the receiving end of his own question onslaught? "The guy was tied up, but he said he wanted me to ride him if that's what you meant." How awkward. :longdong: "Also he was very persuasive! Otherwise I would have left, too... After I untied him that is."

Faelian

It felt nice getting revenge for all those awkward questions he had answered in the past. He couldn't resist grinning a little. "Oh, I see. Did you make sure to clean up all the way?"

"I don't think he could have persuaded me at all." He shakes his head thinking about it.

London

"Huh?! You mean bathing? Yeah...." Admitting to all of that left London feeling totally defeated. Exhausting... "How mean..." He sighs.

Faelian

Faelian nods. "Yeah." He tilts his head. "What's mean? That i'd leave him? If i'm looking for a fling i'm probably going to look for a good, quick, time." And London's experience didn't sound like a very good or quick time.

London

"I wasn't really looking for a fling, I guess..." His cheeks get warmer and he lowers his head further. "But even just considering a fling, I think even someone like that deserves some benefit of the doubt....."

Faelian

He glances over at London and raises an eyebrow. "Oh.. were you looking for a another partner? Shouldn't you try to make friends with someone and build up to a relationship with them? If you just grab someone you just met and start going out it's doomed to fail. You won't know a single personal thing about that person. Friendship should come before a relationship. Flings are different though. Barely any of those people are looking for anything long-term."

"I'm sure they do. But I personally don't think i'd want to go through the hassle.."

London

"I know......." It was difficult to know what to say after all of this. "Is there anything else you wanted to know?"

Faelian

"Hm.. I don't think so. Just remember what I told you, okay?" He slowly starts eating another strawberry.

London

"Wait... We still need to discuss how to handle this stuff in the future..." London looks at him. "Like, if you weren't waiting on me for anything and I came to the room, are you going to want to know what happened then, too?"

Faelian

"What stuff? You going out for the night? Me asking about any flings you have?"

London

"Um, both I guess? Do you need to know when they all happen to be happy?"

Faelian

"If you're going to go out to have a fling tell me you won't be back for the night or not to wait up for you."

"Hm. I guess not but I kind of wanted to know how many flings you have and other partners whenever you find more.. I guess I kind of hope you're not having more flings than you're having sex with me. I think that will annoy me. Especially since it's so hard to get you to do it with me sometimes."

London

"I see...." London lifts his head and looks at Faelian. "W-what about right now? You're still mad at me, right?.. Is there anything else I can do to make it up to you? If we had sex right now would that help you feel better?"

Faelian

"I am still a bit peeved.. I'm not really in the mood for sex right now either. What if we spent some time together in town instead? Maybe have a breakfast date or something?"

London

"But you said I don't do it with you enough, right? If that's something that's really bothering you, I'd rather work to fix it right now. We really don't do it that often, I guess.. and we don't get many chances, either.... but if you'd rather not..." London frowns and looks at the remains of a group of strawberries. "I'm not very hungry now, though."

Faelian

"It's not like I want to do it all the time. I just think it would be a little.. I don't know.. wouldn't it be sad if you started having more flings than sex with your partner? Especially after all the work it took for me to get you to have sex with me? It would make me feel like i'm not very good at that kind of stuff."

"Anyway.. it's not the right kind of mood right now. Maybe if you tried to seduce me i'd feel like it. Do you even really want sex right now or just to please me? If it's the second then you don't need to do that anyway."

Faelian eyes the strawberries and starts to eat another. "At least eat some more of these then."

London

Ignoring everything he said, London pushed Faelian into laying down on the bed. While this first action was rough, he followed that by grabbing the arm with the strawberry and kissing up it towards the palm. In telepathy he asked, I-is this going too far?

Faelian

Faelian made a surprised sound as London pushed him over. He hadn't expected it at all. ..So London had chose to try to seduce him. His cheeks warmed slightly as he watched the other kiss up his arm. ... No. I'll let you know if it is... Do you even really want to do this right now though?

London

Once he reached it, London gingerly kissed Faelian's hand before taking a small bite of whatever strawberry remained in it. Whatever you want, just tell me and I'll let it happen. You can name anything at all. London let the strawberry fall, as he turned his attention to moving closer and kissing around Faelian's neck.

Faelian

Faelian flushes more as London eats the strawberry out of his hand. Did you take 'seduce me' as a challenge? ..Anything? Even though he was being a little difficult in telepathy he tilted his head so that London could reach his neck better.

London

He took the kissing to the next level and slid his tongue up the side of Faelian's cheek. His hands carefully moving up Faelian's waist from beneath his shirt. Absolutely anything you wish.

Faelian

Faelian swallowed and shivered slightly now. London was ignoring his questions but he really was doing a good job working him up. London could probably tell it was working too. Did he even really want to do this though? He really wanted to know. Maybe if he asked if differently London would answer him. I didn't want sex to fix how much we had.. or pity sex. This isn't either of those things, is it...?

London

As if in response to this, London stopped giving attention to Faelian's neck in order to grab his face in his hands and bring their lips together. He repositioned himself to straddle Faelian and began to gently move against him as the kissing intensified. What does it matter if we love each other? That's what counts, right? He tried to dig his tongue further into Faelian's mouth.

Faelian

Faelian kissed London's lips back firmly. His face turned beat red when the other bard straddled him. His pulse and breathing quickened in response and he started making soft sounds every now and then. I just.. always want to make sure that you're happy too and not just doing something that I want. He allows London's tongue to do as it pleases and uses his own tongue in return. By now his arms were wrapped tightly around London and had pulled his shirt up in order to rub and touch the skin underneath.

London

London finally pulled away from the kiss in order to catch his breath wiping any leftover saliva out of the way. "Have you decided what you wanted?" He stares directly into Faelian's eyes.

Faelian

Faelian panted, catching his breath back, once London pulled away. He looked up at him with flushed cheeks but averted his eyes soon after. "...No matter what I say is going to be embarrassing. I wonder why that is.. Um.. I want to do a different position than we have been..." He looks back at London trying to read how he might be feeling at that very moment.

London

"Do you have one in mind?" He asks with a concerned expression.

Faelian

He nods. "Uh yeah.. I guess." :bodyshy:

London

"So you want to do it right now?" He asks while continuing to catch his breath.

Faelian

He nods and slowly sits up. "Yeah..."

London

"Okay, then strip." Saying this, London already began removing his clothing.

Faelian

Faelian strips while still trying to catch his own breathing up. By the time he's done he's breathing more normally but his face was still red. London had taken 'seduce me' as such a challenge and won.

London

After a poor performance, London hid his face hugging Faelian's back. "Do you still love me?"

Faelian

Faelian started laughing and took ahold of one of London's hands. Bringing it up to his lips and kissing the back of it. "Of course I still love you, you idiot. You should have known better since you were worn out. Next time will be better."

London

"I'm fine." He hid his face more feeling embarrassed.

Faelian

Faelian slowly moved onto his side so that the clinging London would or could move with him and continue holding him if he pleased. He sighs softly and puts his hands over top of London's. "There's no need to ask something like that. I love you and that's not going to change anytime soon."

London

"Mhm.." London nodded and continued to stay close.

Faelian

"Sleepy?" He yawns soon after saying it. He continues holding London's hands and just lays there. He'd probably fall asleep if this continued for a while. That's what he thought to himself anyway.

London

"Yeah... but we should probably get moving and meet with the others. It is morning after all.." With some resistance, he finally managed to pull away from the hug and sit up.

Faelian

"Ah.. yeah.. No time for more sleep, huh?" He sounded disappointed. He slowly got up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom. "I'm going to clean up first."

London

"...Go ahead." London decided to lay back down while Faelian took the bathroom first.

Faelian

Faelian took a slightly shorter bath than usual. He came out of the bathroom dressed but still looking a little sleepy. "Your turn." He moved over to the abandoned strawberries and began eating them again.

London

London wasn't as fast and probably took the same amount of time as usual. Afterwards he returned. "Ready to go?"

Faelian

"Yeah." The strawberries are gone. He gathers his things up and heads to the door. Waiting on London to do the same.

London

Before exitting he looks at Faelian once more. "Are you sure you're feeling better about that stunt I did earlier?"

Faelian

He looks back at London and nods. "Yeah. It was a misunderstanding anyway. I'm just glad we got it straightened out sooner than later. And if you mean the staying out all night.. just make sure you tell me next time."

London

"Yeah, I understand." He nods.

#c: faelian

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Faedon’s on Fire (and not in a good way): Part 1 - Faelian’s Apology

(Session 76 Horse Night 4 - Inn of an unknown town - Before ‘Short Skit’)

After dinner, London told Faelian he’d get to the room later. Faelian waited, but London never came. The next morning (Session 76 - Day 5 - Inn of an unknown town), he finally returned. Faelian is already awake when he arrives and asks where he has been all night.

London

London rubs sleep from his eye. "I went to the tavern."

Faelian

"Did you just stay out all night drinking? What happened? I thought you said you'd be back in a bit."

London

"I was just thinking to myself, and I guess I lost track of the time.." He steps further into the room and falls onto the bed.

Faelian

"Oh.. Is anything wrong?" He frowns and pats London's back once he's laying on the bed.

London

"I'm fine I think." He lifts his head but still seems to be in thought about stuff.

Faelian

"Are you really sure you're fine? Want to talk about it?" He leans over beside London and pets his hair.

London

"Hm.." He rolls over to stare at the ceiling. "I was just thinking.... I clung to you because I was lonely. You were the same way, too, weren't you? That's not to say I don't love you, but it's still sad don't you think? Feeling like there's no other option but to hold on is scary. If anything happens either one of us could be all alone."

Faelian

"Do you think that's bad? Doesn't everyone seek out someone when they're lonely? It's not like the only reason I stayed or traveled with you was because I was lonely either. If I wanted someone just because I was lonely I could have grabbed someone in those ten years I was alone."

"We have more friends now and i'm sure we'll make even more. No one wants to lose a friend but it's not like we don't have other people we can depend on. Maybe i'm just misunderstanding what you mean but I don't think things are exactly like that. Or uh.. what do you mean exactly by you feel like there's no other option but to hold on?"

London

"I mean, sure we have friends, but everyone will part ways once our trip's done. It's different. I guess I'm talking about a future security? I don't know what I'd do without you." He sighs. "But I guess you have Noronir and your family and everyone. Maybe there is less to worry about in your case."

Faelian

"Oh.. that's what you mean. Like in the case that I die and you're left alone? If my parents are alive i'm sure you could rely on them to help you out and maybe we'll have friends and people we can rely on by the time something like that happens."

London

"Yeah but I’m not that close to them....I guess this is overly complicated. I’m sorry."

Faelian

"No. It's okay. It's not really overly complicated either. It's fine to worry about the future. Maybe you'll get closer to my parents someday and even if you don't they'll still help because you're important to me. If something happened maybe you can rely on people we've met along the way."

London

"I guess.... Uh it's kind of late saying this but I think I made a mistake."

Faelian

He frowns. "You mean the potion?"

London

London looks at him. "Yeah. I was really convinced I was taking it for my own benefit. To help others and stuff, you know? But after that conversation we had with Pawo and Beaford when we were camping, I've started to think I was lying to myself. I'm not sure how interested I am in living a long life just to help people. In the end, I still don't think I'd care much if I died tomorrow or 100 years from now. I probably only took the drink for you."

Faelian

He averts his eyes and stays quiet for a few moments. "Oh... well.. I guess once this is all over we can start looking to see if there's a way to reverse it.. I'm sorry for pressing you to take it." He looks away. "I still want to ask you to live a little longer than a normal human if we find a way to reverse it but.. that's selfish of me so ignore it."

London

Hearing Faelian say this beckoned London to sit up. "Don't be silly!" He frowns and moves so that he can stare directly into the blue eyes. "I said I drank the potion for you, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing does it?" He lowers his head. "I'm just scared. I'm not sure what to expect from all of this. When it comes down to it, I'm not even sure what I want for myself, but having more time to figure that out couldn't hurt, could it? And it was such a rare potion.. It would be a waste to try to reverse it... if that were even possible anyway. Anyway, don't worry about it." London lies down again. Seeing only the back of London's head, Faelian could hear him speak up once more, "Also, don't blame yourself for this. It was my own choice. I should have been more careful about this, that's all."

Faelian

He looks back into London's eyes quietly while he talks. "Is it really okay? Maybe time to figure things out really is a good thing. If it turns out it's not okay after time has passed then we can really search for a way to reverse it for you. And like I've been saying.. there's no guarantee that i'll die before you. We don't know what the future holds for us. So for now.. live your life how you have been and try not to think of the far far away future. Try to think of the close future for a while instead and by the time we get closer to the far future i'm sure you'll know more, and have more friends, and more answers to your questions and feelings. "

“Alright.. I'll try. But please try not to worry too much about that far into the future. Take one step at a time." He lays down beside London now and hugs him from behind.

London

London almost responds by saying 'easy for you to say', but holds it back. "If I decide I don't like it, I'll see what I can do. Maybe I can just make a drink to reverse it or something." :memeford: He has experience. "You don't need to worry about it, though." Trapped by the hug, London's only choice was to turn his head to look back at the elf. "Um, Faelian.. there was something that did kind of bother me about our conversation before.."

Faelian

"Alright. But at least make sure to think long and hard about it before you do it. Okay? I'm not sure if we'd ever find another flower potion if you ended up changing your mind again." His arms loosen around the other in case he wants to move. "Yeah? What was it?"

London

"Yeah, I'll give it the same amount of time I gave to drink the lost flower potion. That sounds fair, right?" Free to move, London rolled over to return the embrace. "Part of the reason I drank the potion was because I thought you'd be alone watching everyone we know die, but that wasn't really true, was it.. I forgot you had Noronir and everyone at the tower to rely on, but you still went along with the stuff I was saying.."

Faelian

He sighs. "Maybe.. it was a rare potion.. maybe you could give it at least over a month to decide for me." He moves a little and gets comfortable in the new position. "Oh.. I'm sorry.. Yeah.. i'll have my parents and Noro.. I'm not that close to Noro anymore but he seemed to want to be friends again." He looked down with furrowed brows and thought silently. "I.. think I was caught up in the moment and only thought of our current party.. I didn't consider my parents or Noro at the time because i'll be traveling most of my life away from them. I can visit them sometimes but for the most part I would be traveling alone..." He moves his hand to cover his mouth slightly. "There was so much going on and so many things I was thinking about at the time.. but that's no excuse. I don't think an apology is enough but I am so sorry, London." He hangs his head.

London

"Heh. We'll see. But I'm sure by the time I have the means to undo it, I would have already had plenty of time to think it over." The bard sits up. "Anyway, I figured it just slipped your mind, but it's been a while since you saw them, and you can't exactly go back home yet, I guess. So yeah. Don't worry about it. It slipped my mind, too."

"I guess that's all I really wanted to say for now, so I might go eat breakfast and think to myself some more. Sorry if I worried you for not coming back last night..." He looks down at Faelian with an expression of guilt.

Faelian

"That's true." He sits up to and nods. "Yeah.. it did slip my mind. I feel guilty about it. I'm really sorry."

"Okay. I think i'm going to just play some music in here. I already ate something a little earlier. If you need to talk to me about something else please do." He nods. "Alright, London. It's okay. I figured you got distracted but it's hard not to worry a little with our current journey being how it is."

London

"Were you worried I got attacked?" He smirks.

Faelian

"Nah. Just that you might. If you did get attacked him sure you'd make your way back to everyone really fast."

London

"Then what were you worried about?" He laughs.

Faelian

"I don't know. Maybe that the phanlax might kidnap you? Something like that. I wasn't worried too much though." He smiles. "Anyway, after you get some food and think for a while you should try to get some sleep before we leave. You haven't had any, right?"

London

"Ah, I did. I guess some more couldn't hurt, though." Afterwards, London got off the bed. "I'll see you later then."

Faelian

"Alright. Just don't push yourself too much." He got off the bed too and hugged London tightly for a moment. "See you later. Hey, if you don't need your flute you can leave it here so I can practice on it a bit."

London

He seems surprised by the hug then laughs. "Nah, I want to hold onto it. Bye!" He goes.

Faelian

"Alright. See you later." Guess it was time to work on the new lute instead.

#c: faelian

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fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Some Faedon Updates

(Session 76 Horse Skits Days 1-4 Summary)

Because both London and Faelian want to take the reigns of the horse, London makes coin tossing competition to decide who gets to steer. He wins three days in a row. However, on the fourth day in order to keep his victory he attempts to cheat and apply an illusion spell to make the coin heads on both sides. What he doesn’t realize is the spell failed and the illusion didn’t work. Meanwhile, Faelian attempts to cast animate object on the coin in order to force it to land on tails. However, this spell also fails. It lands on heads and London wins (believing he’s cheating). After some arguing, he decides to let Faelian steer after all because who knows when they’ll have another chance to ride horses.

(Session 76 Horse Skit Day 1 Summary Appended)

Since their open relationship was still a new thing, London asked Faelian in on-the-road telepathy if there was anything they needed to discuss in order to avoid hurt feelings. Faelian paraphrases to remind London “he doesn’t really want to know about the people hes with.” London totally misunderstands. They discuss some other common decency rules like bathing and using protection to avoid diseases and babies. London seems new to this info. Once they reach town on the fourth day, they have a short sex ed session. Everything is good now as far as that’s concerned.

(Session 76 Horse Skit Day 2 Summary Appended)

London and Faelian sneak off to take a bath and have some time alone together. :gaylian: London admits he actually has trouble going along with stuff because he is a sad insecure man. He jokes about changing his appearance to fit Faelian’s tastes better but admits that’s bad.

#c: faelian

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fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Short Skit

(Session 76 Horse Night 4 - Inn of an unknown town)

London

Walking down the hall, London began to pass Zarek and stopped. "Oh, hey Zarek."

Zarek

Zarek greeted London back with a small wave. "Hey, what are you up to?"

London

"Ah, nothing much.." He glances away awkwardly before lifting a hand. "Well, goodnight!"

Zarek

Zarek blinks. T-then what's the point of greeting him at all? They saw each other all day. "Is that really it?"

London

"Huh? What? There isn't that much to say is there?" His eyebrows furrow as if to ask himself that very question.

Zarek

Zarek grins. "So you're gonna say hi to me after seeing me the whole day and leave after nervously looking around?"

London

"Huh? I wasn't seeing you all day? More like I was stuck seeing Faelian's back.. I'm so tired of horses.... I'm glad it's over." He sighs.

Zarek

Zarek looks at London with an amused expression that says 'Yeah right, good excuse.' "...Sure then?"

London

He smiles back a bit embarrassed and delays answering a bit more just to lazily look around the room then gets serious. "Okay, I may have something I've been meaning to tell you, but it's really not a big deal."

Zarek

He snickers before replying. "Well, I'm open to hearing it. Let's chat." He motions London to come over to a better place, as in not the hallway.

London

London waves an arm. "Nah, this is fine. It shouldn't take long." As if to make up for that fact, he began to speak more quietly but that just made him sound strangely somber. "I've just been thinking these past few days about the stuff you said... Between your punch and talking to others, I guess I've realized I made a huge mistake, but it's really too late to dwell on it..." He hesitates and groans before quickly changing the subject. "Uh, I guess I should say thank you.. but that's not really what I wanted to speak to you about either." Another grumble. "The point is, I'll try to be less reckless at least so it doesn't worry others. That's all." "But besides that...! I had an idea." Using the chance to catch his breath, London crossed his arms with a grin.

Zarek

"I..uh.." Seeing London so worried about it as he spoke was a bit off-putting compared to the more confident London from before but it was nice to see him doing deeper self-reflection. "I do also think it's a bit late... but go on, what's the idea you were going to talk about?"

London

"Hehe... So I was thinking about when you said you didn't want to be insignificant to me in the future." He closes his eyes trying to imagine the words he spoke. "Over time, if centuries past, maybe there could be a chance you'll just be a forgotten memory, but I'm not sure I want that. So I was trying to come up with a way to remember you." "My first ideas were bad at first, and maybe some were kind of extreme for your taste ranging from a blood pact to a binding vow to some other stuff, but then I finally came up with the perfect plan!" His eyes blinked open. By this point he had forgotten he was in the hallway of an inn. "This is just the reason you now have to get Caila to make a statue in honor of your memory! That isn't a bad plan, right?!" London stared in hopes of approval.

Zarek

Zarek nodded as London introduced this problem to him and heard his ideas. God, a blood pact and a binding bow did sound extreme, why was London always like this? Hearing his final idea though, Zarek laughed. "I'm not gonna ask her something that selfish. Plus, we both know the entire Caila situation is kind of vague at the moment." He sighed. "I mean, it beats your other two plans, but I won't ask for that. If you want to make the statue yourself I won't stop you though." He joked with a mocking grin.

London

London laughs back, "Y-yeah! I was just joking anyway!" He was not. Then he spoke quicker in an embarrassed flurry in an attempt to escape the conversation instantly. "Thinking that far ahead is kind of silly anyway. I don't even know if I'll live that long, haha... Well, I guess that's everything. Goodnight Zarek!" He took a step away ready to leave.

Zarek

Zarek's grin faded. "Was that joke really everything? Come on, I don't mind chatting a bit, it's not that late yet." Should he have played along? Seeing London try to wave it off and leave was awkward.

London

"Well, I don't really have that much to say..." Was it too late to say he wasn't joking? "That was everything."

Zarek

"R-really?" Zarek looked surprised. "You just keep nervously looking around and sounded a bit agitated. So I thought there was more."

London

"Nah. I'm probably just.... dealing..... with the fact my magic failed me when I tried to transport us to my domain. I'll be fine." For drama, he adds an exaggerated sigh to emphasize his misery (only betrayed by a smile). "I'll catch you later."

Zarek

"Better luck tomorrow then." He smiles. "Goodnight."

London

London walks away with a wave.

#c: zarek

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fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Can't sink what hasn't sailed IX:

The answer is not (always) wild forest sex.

(Session 76 - Horse Night 3 - After ‘After Myster Meat Breakfast’)

Zarek

A few hours after talking with London, when everyone was already settling in and getting ready to rest Zarek approached Aneris. "Wanna go now?" It was already kind of dark... Maybe this was a bad idea. In more than one sense.

Aneris

Aneris looks up from the [jk she wasn't doing anything] to respond to Zarek. "Oh you're here, I was starting to think you forgot." Why did she wait tbh.

Zarek

"Well, you didn't say anything either, I thought you were waiting for everyone to be too busy with anything else to see." I mean, they could get weird ideas.

Aneris

Damn, the asshole has a point. She frowns a little. "Well you're here now so I guess that's what matters." She gets up and brushes the dead grass dirt off her ass.

Zarek

"I guess." He smiles, before looking at the nearby trees. "Do you want to walk for a bit to make sure we're out of sight?"

Aneris

Aneris heads into the trees ahead of him in lieu of responding to him.

Zarek

Zarek follows. Geez, how talkative. Was she gonna be this difficult the whole road? Was she this difficult the whole journey?

Aneris

After a comfortable distance Aneris turns to walk backwards for a few paces and frown at the stupid dead grass that gave her away. "This is fine."

Zarek

"Cool. Get on then." Zarek turned his back to her and slightly lowered himself, enough to make it a bit easier, but not enough to say 'haha you're so short'. It was a delicate process.

Aneris

Aneris betrays her character and does as she's told without putting up a fight. Once aboard she realizes she's sober and mutters something about it being 'demeaning'.

Zarek

Zarek grabs her legs tightly and starts walking deeper, making sure to pay attention where he's going. "What do you mean demeaning?"

Aneris

"Being carried like a child, what do you think?" Theres a bite of sarcasm but she sighs and sets her chin on his shoulder and rests her eyes. If he gets bit by a wolf again thats on him.

Zarek

"Hmm, I wasn't really thinking of it like that. I can carry you on my arms if you don't like this." He teases, but it could be nice to carry her in that way. This was already good enough though.

Aneris

"That's just be a waste of time." She mutters "We could probably find a place by the time you set me down and pick me back up,." 'Also it's more embarressing' she doesn't add.

Zarek

"Hmm, I guess it would be." He walked a little further trying to see a tree that would be good as a bed. It was tough for obvious reasons, but it was even tougher because he wasn't a night-vision elf. He softly tilted his head a bit to touch hers, and continued walking. "Do you see one you would like?"

Aneris

Aneris opens one eye and points to the first damn tree she sees. "That one I guess."

Zarek

"As you wish." He says softly and proceeds to walk to the tree, would aneris notice if he walked a bit more? this was kind of nice. It only took a few steps before he was at the tree that had been pointed. "Okay."

Aneris

Aneris dismounts with a very average amount of grace. She looks back towards the direction of the camp. "Guess we'll find out how good this ends up being." If she goes 0/3 on solitude nights she'll have to find something stronger than herbs.

Zarek

"Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine though." He looks back at her. "I'll come in the early morning then, is that ok?"

Aneris

"Afraid I'll get lost trying to find my own way back?" She plops down near the base of the tree and looks up at him.

Zarek

"I'm more afraid you won't want to talk about this in the camp." He smiles.

Aneris

Fucker. She has to switch from being mock offended to trying not to give away he hit the nail on the head. "It just seems like a lot of extra trouble when you're here right now. It's not like I have an issue leaving a trail heading back to camp anyways." Gomen plants

Zarek

"Oh yeah, I didn't mean I was going to carry you, but you're not going to want to talk much about what we said once you're back with the group." He thought for a second. "In any case, if I come in the morning and you aren't here, there's no problem, is there?"

Aneris

"Only a problem if you get attacked by a wolf I guess" She looks away. What's more suspicious, Zarek heading off into the woods again in the morning, or sharing a horse? It's gotta be the horse right?

Zarek

"Sounds like there's no problem then." Zarek says confidently, then moves a bit to see Aneris' face more confidently. "Anyway, goodnight Aneris, have a nice night." With that, he got down on one knee to get closer to her current eye-level and kissed her lips.

Aneris

"Bu . . . .. but Zarek-senpai . . we're both girls . . . .. kero" her giant eyes twinkled.

"Hmm?" She grins. "You're leaving just like that?."

Zarek

Zarek is a bit thrown off by Aneris' reaction. He was already prepared to hear her tell him to fuck off. He placed his hand near her cheek, moving a bit off hair off it with a smirk. "Looking forward for more?"

Aneris

"If you think you can keep up." Why does she look so smug? Does this sound like something someone from a fanfic would say? Anti is a good girl who only reads licsenced material.

Zarek

"What, are you challenging me or something?" His smug smirk got closer to hers. Was this even the right place for Aneris' mood to change like this?

Aneris

"Not at all, I'm just genuinely concerned for your well being." She tries to voice the mock the concern she feints but the teasing look on her face is there.

Zarek

"Concerned for my well being, how sweet of you." He kisses her again before moving closer to her neck, his left hand already near her waist. "But don't you think we should wait till we're in an inn first?"

Aneris

"Don't get the wrong idea," she pauses, tilting her head to try to lead him to the base of her neck. "I'm looking out for myself, I'm bad with dissapointment." Difficult Aneris shows her influence in the form of dodging his question.

Zarek

"If I was that disappointing we wouldn't be here, would we?" He follows Aneris' lead and kisses the base of her neck. "At this pace we'll probably be in town tomorrow." He softly bites. "So make sure you won't disappoint me there either." Zarek lets out a quiet snicker before kissing her neck again, his hand already under her shirt.

Aneris

"I don't think you need to worry about me." She whispers into his ear, her back no longer against the tree as she leans closer to him, an arm wrapping around so that her fingers can begin to play with the hair at the back of his nack.

Zarek

His hand moves up before starting its descent to the end of her back, enjoying the feeling of Aneris' skin against it. "Well, I have to look out for myself too, you know?" He grins.

Aneris

Hands are comforting "If you don't trust me you can just say that, I won't bite." She grins and flashes teeth that seem to be very eager to bite. In the gap between either of them speaking Aneris returns to his lips and [500 word despcription of 'they kissed' from fanfiction.net]

Zarek

Well, Aneris initiating the kiss was another thing he didn't expect tonight, but he kissed her back either way. Then paused for a second to speak. "That seems a little hard to believe when you've already bitten me." He smiled and resumed the kiss, caressing Aneris' hair with his other hand. It all felt weirdly welcoming, not something you'd normally feel around Aneris.

Aneris

She pulls away the slightest amount, "Slander," then leans back in and bites his neck and gives him two small mercys: 1.) she doesnt break skin, 2.) she plants a small kiss on his neck before speaking again. "I would never."

Zarek

Zarek tenses up the tiniest bit feeling her sharp teeth on his neck, but quickly smiles. "My bad, maybe I was making assumptions." ...Wait, won't people get ideas easier if they see the bite marks instead of if they share a horse? Zarek gets distracted with this line of thought.

Aneris

[Lewd] "Just see that it doesn't happen again."

Zarek

While holding her so close after they had kept distance for such a long while felt really nice, it still wasn't completely satisfying. "Then, instead of making more assumptions, I'm gonna ask you... are you sure you want to do this?"

Aneris

She grins. "I'm not a prude, plus I thought you were confident no one would find us out here."

Zarek

"I'm not talking about just sex in the woods." Which wasn't really his plan at all. "I'm talking about continuing this while ignoring anything the last week happened. Does it not leave a bad taste on your mouth?"

Aneris

The grin melts into a frown. "Should it, didn't we already talk about this?" she pulls away a bit.

Zarek

"Come on, don't make that face." Seeing her grin was so much better too. "Did we talk about it? Or did we yell at each other because we were both angry?"

Aneris

"Fine then, we discussed it loudly." The frown remains and Aneris continues to look upset about the nights sudden change in direction.

Zarek-Last Saturday at 5:46 PM

"Yeah, we did... and it felt like you hated me and decided you didn't want to see me again." He got closer to Aneris' neck once again. "Aneris... are you using sex to ignore everything that happened up to this point...?"

Aneris

Aneris flinches. "That-" She grits her teeth. "Tha . .. .. what happened to you not making stupid assumptions anymore!?" A hint of anger taints her words.

Zarek

He looks at her with a more serious look in his eyes. "I'm asking you a question, not stating a fact. I'm not making assumptions." Did she not know that not denying it instantly just made it seem suspicious?

Aneris

She returns his look with a pretty weak glare. "What . . do you just go around asking that to everyone you see?" Why is he bringing up weird things now, most people just pretend to have a headache.

Zarek

Zarek why do you always ask me questions I'm too prideful to answer? "Obviously I don't. " Even giving a serious reply to that sort of question felt stupid. "If I actually did I would have asked you before, don't you think?"

Aneris

"So then why are you asking me now?" If she keeps asking him questions then maybe he won't notice her not answering his, and also she can avoid self-reflection.

Zarek

"Because I don't want to make assumptions, so I thought getting an answer from you would fix that." Would it even be possible to fix the mood after this? Probably not.

Aneris

"Are you telling me you've never used sex as a distraction?" Maybe it's just physically impossible for her to not answre questions with more questions.

Zarek

"No, I'm not telling you that, I'm asking you a question."

Aneris

Why is he so stubborn? "So what if I am?" She gets angry again.

Zarek

"Then you can just tell me instead of making me guess." He sighs. "If you never give me answers then you really don't leave me other choices rather than making assumptions."

Aneris

"Well I'm not." Oh wait they're both stubborn

Zarek

"So, you're going to say 'have you never used sex as a distraction?' and then 'so what if I am?' and hope I'm an idiot?" He looks at her eyes. "Would it kill you to be straight-forward for once?"

Aneris

She tries to hold the gaze but breaks and looks away. "Maybe that's not a risk I want to take." Her voice comes out quiet.

Zarek

"I don't see the risk." He caresses the side of her face that's towards him. "You want to avoid assumptions, don't you?"

Aneris

She glares at the ground and refuses to answer. Wow is she thinking?

Zarek

While Aneris is too busy staring at the ground, Zarek continues to stare at her, was this her new question dodging method?

Aneris

"It's a pain to think about." She leans away again so thats she resting on the tree once again.

Zarek

"And it's even more painful if you keep it to yourself." He follows her movement by getting closer to her once again.

Aneris

"What would you know?" Aneris offers another cold weak responce. If Zarek started charging for questions asked he would become the new sugarmama in the relationship tbh.

Zarek

"I've had problems before too, you know." He sighs. "How long have you been avoiding the things that bother you instead of talking about them?"

Aneris

She continues her trend of 'not answering a single damn question in a timely manner' and stares at more dead grass as if it would answer for her. "Not that long maybe."

Zarek

"How many years is not too long for you?" He asked gently, instead of asking like a sarcastic asshole.

Aneris

"You . . . . .this . . . . . ." she grabs the hand that was on her face and pulls it down. "I don't know what you want from me and it's weird and annoying to think about." Aneris doesn't even answer the question she was asked. Is she even talking to Zarek right now? Why is Anti bad at Aneris? Next camapign I'll do more gooder.

Zarek

"Then, you could ask me, you know?" He gives Aneris a smile. "I mean... It would just make things harder between us if I didn't answer you things like that. And I actually enjoy spending time with you." He kisses her cheek before leaning away and giving her a bit more space.

Aneris

Aneris furrows her brow. Look at all these things she wouldnt have to deal with if she had gotten laid instead. She turns to look at him again, and seems rather upset for an 'adult' who 'understands themsleves'. "What do you want from me Zarek?"

Zarek

Zarek looked at her eyes for a moment before answering. It was, actually a tough question even if he told her to ask him. "I'd want you to be a bit more open with me... I'm not asking you to completely expose yourself out of the blue though, just a little bit so I don't have to go assuming stuff." He pauses for a second to reword his thoughts. "I've enjoyed a bunch of moments with you, and I don't see the point of making it harder on both of us... And in any case, I'd like if we could help each other if there's anything troubling us."

Aneris

"Last time I was a bit open you didn't seem too thrilled." She refers to the slight disagreement over the orcs again, despite earlier saying they'd talked about it enough already.

Zarek

"You mean when you closed the door on my face and then had me making guesses because you wouldn't tell me why you went out?" He sighed with a smile. "I wonder why."

Aneris

"It wasn't on your face." She clarifies and look away from his smile before mumbling. "And it should have been obvious why I went out." ??????????? Aneris says despite getting mad that Zarek had guessed her very obvious reason for going out. She frowns, did she realize how hypocritical she was????

Zarek

"Tch, you can't tell me it's obvious after you kept denying it and telling me I don't know anything about you..." The smile didn't leave his face.

Aneris

She sighs. "Maybe that's right."

Zarek

"You agree?" It was awful having to ask a vague question just to confirm what she meant by her vague reply.

Aneris

"Ye- . . . . . . sure." Another vague statement. She grimaces. "Maybe that's just needlessly difficult." Shit this is another vague statement. " . . . . . . " Aneris loses progress and just glares at the grass again.

Zarek

. . . Well, he was a bit lost with that last one. "What is?"

Aneris

"Me." Wow this is pathetic.

Zarek

Zarek's eyes widen hearing this. It was... really surprising to hear Aneris actually admit it. It took a second for his surprised expression to go back to a smile. "Let's both try to be less unnecessarily difficult on each other, okay?"

Aneris

"That's easy to say at least." She looks back at him. "Don't get your hopes too high."

Zarek

"So not too high, but still having hopes?" He smirks.

Aneris

She frowns. "Well I can't stop you if that's what you want."

Zarek

"I'm glad to hear that... I feel much better now than last time we 'discussed things'. Thanks." This time Zarek kissed Aneris' forehead, wild forest sex was still an idea he was hesitant about and he didn't want to be too forward.

Aneris

Aneris reaches up to rub her forhead, still frowning, and represses her instinctual urge to disagree. "I guess I'm not desperate to go drink right now." She lowers her hand again. "And you haven't especially pissed me off today." Wow it's almost like 'I agree' would hurt to say.

Zarek

Zarek gave her one last smile before getting up. "That's a relief. I'm gonna let you have your 'time away from the rest' now and go back to the camp. Goodnight Aneris."

Aneris

"Yeah . . . . thanks I guess." She pulls out the pipe that she kinda-stole from Pawo, what is she even thanking him for tbh?

Zarek

With that, Zarek walked away from the slowly weaker tree. A thanks from Aneris was also a surprise, to be fair the whole night was way different than what he expected it to be. With that in mind he made his best effort to follow the path he had taken to get back with the rest.

#c: zarek #c: aneris

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

After Mystery Meat Breakfast

(After Session 76 - Horse Night 3)

Zarek

After the group had reached their third stop on the road to Forlorn Edge, as they were setting down, Zarek approached London. "Hey London, can I ask you a quick favor?" As he said this, he pointed behind him with his thumb to the woods, as if saying let's move away from here.

London

"Huh? Sure...." Something secret? He had two theories... Instead of confirming with Zarek beforehand, he stood up and followed.

Zarek

"Thanks." He said with a smile before heading into the forest, he looked back a few times before stopping, making sure he wasn't going to be seen by the others where he was. "I just need your help with something."

London

"Yeah? What is it?" The suspense was enough to cause London to hold his breath waiting for the answer. Nothing could surprise him now.

Zarek

Zarek grabbed the edge of his pants and pulled down the right side a bit, and after pulling a little more revealing a poorly bandaged wound. "I got kind of a nasty injury here earlier and if we're going to keep traveling by horse I figured I needed to ask someone to help me with healing."

London

Well. That was a little bit of a surprise. London's only reaction was to cross his arms and raise his eyebrow. "......Okay......" Theory 1: Telepathy! Did you get in a fight with Aneris or something? While the wound's location was enough to want to hide, wasn't Zarek's biggest reason to keep stuff secret anything Aneris related? They did return from the woods together just earlier that day.... His mind blurs out the wolf.

Zarek

"W-what?" Zarek replies out loud, before removing the bandages to reveal the bite marks. "Does this look like a knife wound to you London?" If they had managed to keep themselves from attacking each other last fight it was gonna be hard to end with a wound like this from just a some kind of disagreement.

London

London opens his mouth. Was he supposed to answer honestly? He turns his head away from the teethy wound. "You got her mad during a blowjob..." He holds himself back from laughing at his own joke and the cure spell does its job. Theory 2: Zarek didn't want to mention killing an animal around Pawo who might be sensitive over the subject.

Zarek

"...Do you wanna hear the details?" Zarek said while acting as if London had hit bulls-eye. It wasn't going to hurt to joke around a bit more.

London

"What? Really?!" London pulled away from the now healed leg with a shocked expression.

Zarek

"Why are you so surprised? Aneris angers kinda easily, doesn't she?" Zarek plays along.

London

"Oh.." London's eyes move downward to process the information. At least she didn't chomp him on the dick, he concludes and puts a hand on Zarek's shoulder. "A-are things going to be okay between you two?" He looks at him with honest concern.

Zarek

When London looks at him with such a concerned face, Zarek finally breaks and starts snickering. "I-I'm so sorry, I couldn't resist playing along." He laughs for a moment again and then looks back at London. "An animal attacked me today when I went hunting in the morning, that's all."

London

"Oh!" He looks just as shocked as when Zarek said the failed blowjob was real. "Then you're getting along again?" He smiles hopeful.

Zarek

Zarek smiles back but it isn't as hopeful. "Well, we didn't argue... I think... we didn't get angry at each other. It's hard to say really, but things were much calmer than before this morning."

London

"That's progress at least. Coming from Aneris, you should take that as a really good sign. If she was still angry, I'm sure she would have found something to bite you over." The smile doesn't fade.

Zarek

"Tch, I can't say you're wrong." He replies with a grin and a light shove on his arm. "Thanks for the help though, my leg is feeling better." With that he actually put his pants back where they were on his waist. "Did you fix your sleep from the other day?"

London

"Yeah. Uh...." London glances around contemplating the best way to continue. "You know, you don't have to show the injury to get it healed with magic, right?"

Zarek

Zarek opens his mouth to object, but there were no words he could really say to a healer to prove him wrong. Instead he just looked away embarassed. "W-well. You can't expect me to know that, I've had a long day anyway." How did he forget that magic is bullshit.

London

"Mm, yeah. I forgot you always strip to show your battle scars in battle." There is a quiet laugh, but it is soon interrupted. "Hey so, were you two really just out here fighting wildlife or did something else happen?"

Zarek

"W-well I actually forgot! Usually the healing occurs mid-battle or when we're talking afterwards... this seemed more like... a first-aid thing you know?" Zarek continues to make up excuses and as soon as the change of subject offers itself he takes it. "We chatted a bit."

London

"Ah....." London nods, sparing Zarek more teasing over the strip thing. "Hm. Well. Was that everything?"

Zarek

"Well she shot me a glare or two, but she didn't really seem angry or anything." Maybe they were four tho, could be more. "It really was mostly small talk and hunting, then eating before heading back."

London

"Oh wait, not that! I mean was that all you wanted to talk to me about? I did the healing, so I guess that's everything?"

Zarek

"Oh, yeah. I didn't have much else to say really, and we can chat back at the camp in any case."

London

"Yeah." London smiled and then turned to lead the way.

#c: zarek

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Can’t Sink What Hasn’t Sailed Part VIII

Getting Chomped On In The Woods But Not In A Furry Way And More Of A 'Please Aneris Help I'm Being Attacked Don't Just Stand There' Way

(After Session 76 - Horse Day 3)

Aneris

Aneris stretches as she wakes, and then has to deal with a bit of vertigo as she nearly falls out of the tree she had spent the night in. Oh yeah. Once she's on solid ground she stretches again and remembers the plan to spend another day on horsesback. Unpleasent. She surveys the area to find Nicol has wandered off on his own . . . . . . . maybe she shouldn't have expected to rely on him to remind her which direction the others were in.

Zarek

It was already the second morning they had spent out in the road, and looking at the map it seemed like they were going to be eating vegetable soup for quite a while more. It was a good time to go hunt something. He continued on his path for a bit before noticing something strange on the ground. A bunch of dead grass and herbs, real subtle. He hadn't talked to her in a while now, so he followed the path until he reached a greying tree with falling leaves at the end of the dead trail. Looking up he greeted her. "Hey Aneris, good morning."

Aneris

Almost a habit now, he peers behind Zarek's back to see if he's alone or not before answering. "Am I late or were you checking to see if I ran off?" It's still pretty early though isn't it? Not like Aneris can tell anyways.

Zarek

"It's still pretty early, I just thought I'd pass by since you make it so easy to find you." He replied, with a smile that would rate a 4 on the 1-10 sarcasm scale.

Aneris

She squints at him. "What are you talking about?" Are they talking shit back at camp? Must be London's fault.

Zarek

"There's this big ass trail all the way from the camp up to here, full of dead grass. And this tree isn't looking any better really." He explains.

Aneris

"Oh . . . . . . .that." She closes her eyes and rubs her forhead. How did she forget about that already. "I guess that's fine." She sounds a little aggitated but it at least seems to be aimed at herself for overlooking something kind of obvious.

Zarek

"So, what are you doing so far from the camp? We'll probably eat soon." It was considerably far, it was impossible to see from here in any case.

Aneris

"It's easier to relax out here." She rubs at her neck, still getting aquainted with being awake. "And I can feed myself." Soup is bad for the soul

Zarek

"Oh?" He looks a bit surprised at that remark even if it was completely logical, Aneris had probably spent decades sleeping in trees and eating in the wild. Hopefully not. "Are you going to go look for some food too?"

Aneris

Too? "You're not eating with the others?"

Zarek

"I mostly wanted to get my own food. The lack of meat is going to kill me at this rate."

Aneris

Aneris eyes him. Does he even know how to hunt? He's like 16 She reaches into her pack and tosses a piece of jerky at him.

Zarek

Zarek catches the jerky and looks at it. Was this a full meal to Aneris? I mean she's light but it was probably a joke. "Thanks, this'll keep me fed for the week." Then looked back to her with a less sarcastic tone. "So, wanna go look for something to catch?"

Aneris

"If it will stop you from complaining." If he didnt want it he could just give it back thinks Aneris, local pipe thief.

Zarek

Wow, she was really planning on just eating a couple pieces of jerky. "Maybe it'll stop me." As he said that he bit the jerky.

Aneris

She glares at him a moment before getting over the latest in Aneris' lifetime full of petty annoyances and picks a quite random direction to head off in search of these fabled creatures known as 'something to catch'.

Zarek

He receives the glare by giving her a smile back before following by her side. "Something wrong?"

Aneris

Ah, why is he like this? "I wasnt complaining" says Aneris, referencing her earlier complaing about Zarek's persieved complaint.

Zarek

"I didn't think you were. But you already shot me a glare or two." Zarek replies, while eyeing the rest of the woods in case there was an animal nearby.

Aneris

Shit he's right. "That's just what I always look like." While distracted by trying to convince Zarek that she didnt glare at him Aneris walks into a fucking tree.. She gives up her attempt.

Zarek

Zarek sees a small animal, but gets distracted as Aneris bumps into the tree, while Zarek tries his best not to snicker, the animal uses this chance to run as fast as possible, getting out of sight in seconds. "Well, you do look like that when you're around London or Faelian I guess..." He replies, without mentioning the animal he just lost.

Aneris

She rubs her forhead hoping there wont be a bruise in an hour. "So you agree they're a bad influence then." At least the tree managed to wipe the glare off her face.

Zarek

"You're putting words on my mouth. I'm just saying you smile more often when they aren't around." Or they aren't making fools out of themselves at least. He eyed a bit Aneris' purpler-than-usual forehead, maybe she was tired. "...Were you sleeping under that tree or on it last night?"

Aneris

But the damage control came too late, Zarek hating Feadon is now an established fact. "I was sleeping in it. The night before when i tried just hanging out on the ground people kept finding me too much, I had to change tactics." She looks around as they talk, looking for something when she spots a squirrel on a tree. She points at it. "You said you were about to die right? Are you gonna eat that squirrel?"

Zarek

"Huh, popular. I wonder how people find you so easily." He grins to himself before seeing the squirrel. "Not really a fan of squirrel meat." Or of ridiculously small meals. "I'm sure we can find something better around here."

Aneris

Aneris manages not to glare at the sarcastic piece of shit through her strong willpower. "Well then, find something you'd prefer." Nicol would eat a squirrel.

Zarek

While Zarek was walking around looking for something bigger to eat, a wolf found a big target to prey on, and standing a few meters behind Zarek, jumped at him in an attempt to bite him.

Aneris

Aneris not being as blind as Zarek, manages to see the wolf before it vore's him and is able to aim a well-timed knife at the wolf's face. Unfortunatly for our tragic couple, the wolf is made out of steel and the knife only manages to anger it as it chomps Zareks poor leg.

Zarek

"S-shit!" Was all Zarek said as the wolf's fangs started to tighten around his leg. "Are you opposed to eating wolf meat?" He asked before unsheathing his sword and trying to hit it. But the animal saw the clumsy movement in advance and moved around zarek, ready to strike him from the back once again.

Aneris

"Meat is meat" Aneris responds as Zarek doesn't hit the wolf.

Zarek

The wolf once again jumps at Zarek, biting with more force than before, and seeing this coming, Zarek took the full force of the attack to get an opening and slash him away with his sword, gravely injuring it.

Aneris

"You know I think most people tend to use a bow to hunt" she slings another knife at the wolf to follow up Zarek's attack and the only thing it bites this time is the dust.

Aneris

She goes and retrieves her initial knife and tucks it away.

Zarek

"Whatever works for them, you use knives to hunt anyway, don't you?" Though those are are better hunting tools than a sword if you can aim. He wasn't gonna say that though. Instead he sheathes his sword and starts preparing to turn the dead animal into their next meal.

Aneris

"Well it's what I have right now." Aneris sits her butt down on a convient rock and is fully prepared to let Zarek do all the work. "A bow is kinda clunky to carry around just in case you get hungry."

Zarek

"I agree." He gets the only knife in his gear and starts peeling the wolf to cut meat out of it. "But as long as it works I'm good. Uh, can you help me make a bit of fire?"

Aneris

Wow, can't he see she's busy sitting on her ass doing nothing? "Sure" Aneris finds some nice [material required for fire-making] and [intro to wikipedia article on fire-making].

Zarek

When he finished cutting enough for both of them, he turned to see the fire with a smile. "Thanks for the help" Then [actual stuff you do to roast meat decently] and handed Aneris her part.

Aneris

Aneris pokes at the meat to make sure it's not over-cooked before she starts eating. "This isn't terrible." She avoids his thanks like he asked her about her feelings.

Zarek

"What happened to 'meat is meat'?" He asked before taking a bite himself, ah, wolf meat wasn't the best but it was nice to have some either way.

Aneris

"Yeah, but overcooked is still overcooked. I dont want to eat charcoal. I have standards."

Zarek

"I can cook you another piece for less time if you want." She looks at her for confirmation.

Aneris

She hands him three quarters of what used to be known as 'Aneris' portion' "Rare this time"

Zarek

He takes another bite of his food and grins before going to take another cut of the wolf. "As you wish." After a shorter time cooking it he handed the new portion to her. "Hopefully you like this one better."

Aneris

She pokes the second attempt and digs in after finding an adequate amount of red. "Yeah." She talks between bites like the proper lady her mother raised her to be. "this is much better. Congrats."

Zarek

"You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it." Aneris really did her best to not be nice even if she didn't seem as mad anymore, it was kind of surprusing. As he continued eating, Zarek thought about his original plan of taking some meat back to the camp to share, maybe as long as he didn't mention it was wolf meat Pawo and Beaford wouldn't be too mad.

Aneris

As she finished her breakfast she eyes the dead wolf. Guess Beaford wasn't the only one getting the wolf meat this week. . . . . . . . . . . . .a wave of shame overcomes her, she needs to stop talking to Beaford. "Think Pawo would be mad if we came back carrying a wolf skull?"

Zarek

Ah, a trick question, if he says yes she'll probably take the skull. "Wouldn't one normally want to take the meat with them?"

Aneris

"Normally, yeah." She sighs. "It would be a pain getting it anyways, it still has brain in it right now."

Zarek

As most skulls do. "Then why the interest in it?" At most she would have gotten a glare out of him, and pawo did look like he was glaring more often than Aneris.

Aneris

"Well what if they were related?"

Zarek

Zarek was caught off guard and confusion was clear on his face. "What?"

Aneris

"Like a half-brother or something . . . . . ? . ." Aneris didnt have a good idea for thinking about taking the skull.

Zarek

Don't mention the fact we've fought dragons and they could be closer to her than wolves to pawo. "Well, I'm sure pawo is a guy who turns into a wolf, not a wolf who turns into a guy, I doubt there's any blood relation."

Aneris

"So it's fine to bring skulls back then . . . .. hypothetically . . . if I felt like it."Don't mention the fact that that's exactly what a wolf that turns into a human would want him to think.

Zarek

"You're old enough to decide that for yourself. Though, hypothetically, if you made the effort of bringing it back and pawo doesn't give you more than a small glare it'd be hard not to laugh."

Aneris

"Well if I was going to do something for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of someone, then Pawo would be at least third or fourth on that list."

Zarek

Zarek grinned. "Do you have us ranked from most amusing to most troublesome reactions by now?"

Aneris

"It's more like how upset I'd be if someone fell off a cliff" wait, was honestly bad? She gets up and stretches again.

Zarek

"Is less upset equal to better reaction?"

Aneris

"Wow you might be on to something actually"

Zarek

Ideally she won't throw anyone off a cliff to see their reaction. "So, are you heading back to the camp?" He gets up too.

Aneris

"I guess so, not much else to do out here." besides kill trees

Zarek

With Aneris' pseudo-approval, Zarek cut a few pieces more off the wolf and wrapped them before starting to head to the pack. "Are you gonna spend the next night away too? We probably have another day on the road before getting to our destination."

Aneris

Aneris kicks at the small fire so Smokey won't do to her what he did to Korus' parents. She sighs. "Yeah, if we end up camping again i have no intention of huddling together with the group."

Zarek

"Do you want me to help you?" He looked at her.

Aneris

She eyes him suspiciously "how so?"

Zarek

"Well, you don't want others to interrupt your alone time, do you?"

Aneris

The four interruptions play back in her mind. "Can't say that I do." she speaks slowly, not quite sure what he's getting at.

Zarek

"Exactly, want me to help you tonight so others have a harder time finding you?" He offered again.

Aneris

"You still haven't said how" she narrows her eyes. She knows how she would make sure no one found her but couldn't imagine Zarek killing everyone for such a simple reason.

Zarek

He smiles. "I was just thinking you could use a lift so you didn't mark your path." He pointed down at the black grass leaves they were following towards the camp. "What do you think?"

Aneris

Aneris groans a little, being reminded of the path hurt . . . . but was it worse than being carried sober ? There's a moment of inner conflict before she responds with a quiet voice. "I guess that would be the lesser evil." sorry grass

Zarek

Zarek snickers a bit at the way her response is worded. "I'm glad to hear that." Would asking if she wanted to ride together on the horse be too much? It would probably be, maybe he should be happy she's tolerating him right now.

Aneris

Aneris shoots him a very soft glare. If he's so glad why is he laughing. "Yeah well, if we do it and someone still finds me I'm holding you responsible."

Zarek

"That sounds fair. Can I ask you a small favor if nobody finds you in that case?"

Aneris

"You can ask." Squint

Zarek

"Then I will." He replies completely sure of himself. Even if Aneris left a trail it was a pretty low chance that others would go have a conversation with Aneris at night, it was almost like a won bet.

Aneris

She waits a moment, staring at him. "Are you not going to ask now?"

Zarek

He looks back at her. "I should wait till nobody finds you before asking for favors, shouldn't I?"

Aneris

:\ "Well you're the one who brought it up now" Aneris tries not to be curious. What a vague condition though. She looks down at the ground. She's going to have to rethink her retirement plan.

Zarek

"I mean, I can tell you if you want to, it's nothing big after all."

Aneris

"Sure, lay it on me." She very specifically avoids using the phrase 'I want'

Zarek

He ignores the fact Aneris wasn't too curious even if she was asking about it and proceeds to answer anyway. "Let's stop riding separate horses."

Aneris

Ah. Time to deflect. "Won't that seem weird all of a sudden." Though she guess if they killed 3-4 one of the horses it would seem more natural.

Zarek

"What will, reducing the amount of horses we use? It's not like we're gonna do anything with them at the end of the journey."

Aneris

"Yeah, that." They're not bards, how will they look suddenly sharing a horse.

Zarek

"Why?"

Aneris

"W-well someone would naturealy wonder why."

Zarek

"Do they need an answer?"

Aneris

Her answers get slower. "Then they'll come to their own weird conclusions"

Zarek

"Does that bother you?" Could it be that, someone actually cares about what others think of her? Someone has an image to maintain? If it wasn't aneris who he's dealing with Zarek would be full speed on the sarcasm/teasing train.

Aneris

She frowns. "So what if it does?"

Zarek

He sighs, slightly disappointed. "Then you don't have to accept."

Aneris

"I know I don't have to." She eyes him.

Zarek

"It's okay, I'll think of something easier." He waves it off casually

Aneris

"Well you have all day to think about, hopefully I'll like your next idea better." Aneris thinks about sharing a horse and being able to nap the whole ride, ah, what tragedy.

Zarek

"Hopefully you will." Like getting her to admit she likes anything was possible. "If not at least I'm sure you'll agree to it easier."

Aneris

"Eh, making assumptions?" Aneris tries to pretend the last time they talked wasn't the most diffficult converstation they'd ever had.

Zarek

"Well, you're just opposed to this because you assumed people will get weird ideas, right?" Would aneris realize she was the one making assumptions first? Obviously she wasn't going to.

Aneris

"W-well do you think that they wouldn't? It's not like we have a horse shortage."

Zarek

"Yeah, you can say you didn't rest well. Or that we don't need to feed so many horses with only 8 people, or just that you don't feel like riding anymore." He smiles. "You're a good liar anyway, things like that shouldn't worry you."

Aneris

She narrows her eye at him again. "WellI guess if no one finds me I can consider lying to people then. But trying to make an excuse before anyone asks is supicious too."

Zarek

"I'm not gonna go around explaining anyway, and yeah, we can see that later." As they walk, the camp finally comes into view.

Aneris

"Yeah, we'll see I guess." Aneris looks around at the poor vegitarian fools.

#c: zarek #c: aneris

0 notes

fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

London admits he’s stupid

Session 76. Horse Riding Night 1.

London

After London left Gaylian Inc. London took a walk after dinner not realizing he'd accidentally stumble into Aneris's territory.

Aneris

More footsteps. This time Aneris doesn't look up from her actievtly and calls out without checking. "I dont want to hear more about your weird fetish Beaford."

London

B-Beaford?... That was Aneris's voice... What was she doing here? And what did she mean by a fetish? London narrows his eyes. He tries to disguise himself as Beaford in order to mimic his voice. (INT)

That didn't work. Maybe just trying to disguise his voice without magic? (CHA)

"I don't make fun of your fetish Aneris." Shit. That was a poor act...

Aneris

Aneris whips her head around to see what was up. London "What the hell do you want." She seems annpyed despite the fact the last time they spoke one-on-one it was because she stalked him through a town.

London

"I was just taking a walk. Nothing unusual about that, right?" He looks at the ground beneath him to make sure she didn't set up any bear traps around here.

Aneris

She narrows her eyes at him then goes back to what she was doing, knife in one hand, part of a tree branch in the other, although at this point most of the bark was gone. "Well if you end up lost, just try to stay that way."

London

"Ha. Unluckily for you, I'm pretty good at finding my way around places like this." Or so he says anyway. London smiles. "Making something?"

Aneris

"Yeah, unlucky" she mutters. "And I'm not making anything." She continues to very clearly be in the early stages of making something.

London

"I see..........." He hums. "That's too bad." Talking about her wood carving hobby would just make her stop what she's doing, London surmises. Silence soon follows. But after another moment it gets interrupted yet again. "Hey, do you know how similar elves are to humans genetically as far as the mind goes?.... Or, rather..... Is there a reason why people like Lori and Vantas and Ladon seem to never get bored with life? Is that really just an elf thing or are they just weird?"

Aneris

Aneris tries to search for a trap in London's words and takes a moment to answer him . . . and then another moment to purposefully make him wait after she decides it's harmless enough. "Ladon has a single track mind, he doesn't have what it takes to get bored, though that's quite an assumption to make about a person you've met once." She continues her carving without looking up at him.

London

London stared, undaunted by the delayed reply. It was almost as if he were used to it. "I see.... Uh, well... It wasn't exactly my assumption, but I'm glad it gave an answer anyway. So maybe Lori and Vantas have simple minds, too...." He pondered briefly then shook his head. "That's too close-minded." London finally stops mumbling. "So what's your opinion of a long lifespan? You're such a daredevil, I take it you got bored, too?"

Aneris

"Are you asking me if I'm trying to get myself killed?" This gets her to look up

London

"N-no! That wasn't it!!" Or was it? He should really think over what he's trying to say. "Or well... What are you trying to do actually? It never seemed like you were trying to die, but I guess I got the impression you were just looking for some high in life." Godammit he just escaped philosophy time with gays.

Aneris

"A high huh?" How can she avoid saying he might be right? "I just don't like fighting from the backlines, it feels weak and it's harder to control the situation."

London

"Haha, just like your dad, huh? Maybe there's some logic in how he handles things, after all." That's probably giving him too much credit.

Aneris

Aneris almost flinches. "His way of handling things is running around looking for things to shove a sword into until he fights a bigger thing to fight, I'm not like that." She has a height limit thank you.

London

"Uh huh, sure..." He's clearly teasing. "Well, the reason I asked is............... I just wanted some space from Faelian, I guess. Do you mind if I hide here? Just for a little bit?"

Aneris

"What's your ulterior motive?" She glares at him. Sure Fealian is pure trash but there's no way she's his first choice.

London

"None! I was just taking a walk and this is where I ended up. Talking with any of the others would be weird now..." He sighs and lowers his head. "They were all having a group chat, so I guess that's part of why." Zarek's probably sleeping.. He thinks.

Aneris

"I guess it's not surprising you got kicked out of a group chat." She returns to her work and not looking at the bard.

London

"I wasn't kicked out! I walked out." London grumbled and crossed his arms. "They were all having a weird conversation, I don't know... and Faelian and I just think too differently sometimes." ... "Or a lot..." He hesitantly admits.

Aneris

"Well I guess he is a lot more pathetic than you are." She pauses and looks at him. "That wasn't a compliment for you."

London

"I know......" London sighs again. "I just don't understand him sometimes... We were talking about how it'd be disastrous and unnatural for everyone to have the ability to revive eachother and live forever. I guess it's just because I blamed snobby rich people for being half the problem and monopolizing the ability, but instead of getting the point, he just says 'it'd be better to give it to deserving poor folk.' He's just so patronizing or something. Maybe I'm complaining over nothing." London sits down. A dangerous sign.

Aneris

Aneris starts thinking about Beaford and his near speech about the shaman, only Beaford was smart enough to stop before the speech. If she interupts will he stop? If she stays silent will that encorage him to keep talking? She looks down at the knife in her hand, it was made for carving wood, not threatening people. What's the most apathetic responce she can give? "Not forever. Some people are too old to revive."

London

"W-well, I mean--" Shit. Does he admit he's semi-immortal or just sidestep that? "Let's talk about elves more specifically. Apparently all the elves Faelian knows never grow old, but I bet they still revive eachother. Isn't that the dumbest thing?"

Aneris

Of all the romanticised bullshit- Do they just kill anyone in that tower after they outlive their usefullness? Maybe thats why Felain seemed so weird, growing up in a dystopia like that. Though if they had trouble getting ahold of enough resources to keep everyone alive, culling the old is a reasonable thing to do, even if it seemed like a dick move. "Uh . . . . . I mean, I know he's young, but if he's old enough to be let to travel alone, shouldn't he be old enough to know old elves exist, why would his parents hide that, he cant be that sheltered." Shit maybe they eat their old. She thinks about Lori, maybe she would be the type pretend she lived forever so her kid wouldn't be scared. That can be sweet in it's own way. "I guess that does sound dumb but unless the person was important it would just be a waste of effort and resources, I'm sure they don't revive everyone."

London

"Hmm... I don't know....." Was Faelian really wrong about there being no old-looking elves in the tower?... He sweats. "But they seem to treat it casually enough to just revive whatever.... or maybe that's just Faelian." Back to square one... He sighs again. "Aneris, I know I said I wouldn't trust you with any secrets, but I am also a habitual liar, so listen to this." London stops sulking to look up at the girl. "A few nights ago, I made this late night decision to drink this potion of eternal youth for Faelian, but now I'm really conflicted on things. Like, at the time I thought: 'Aw, Faelian's going to have to live dealing with seeing all of his human friends die all alone. That's so sad. Maybe I should be there with him.' and Faelian was like 'That'd help a lot, thanks.' and it took me all of this time to remember he's not a sad, lonely elf with no friends. I totally forgot he had a tower of other elves he could rely on, so I'm confused if he forgot, too, or if I got tricked. Ah. Faelian's not manipulative enough to trick anyone... He's just clumsy..." He mumbles more to himself.

Aneris

"London."

London

"....Yeah?"

Aneris

"You're really fucking stupid, you know that right?"

London

WOW. London frowned and looked insulted, ready to yell back. "W-well, fuck you, too!!" He accidentally slipped in a stutter which basically admited he thought she was probably right. Damn. He was embarassed more than anything right now.

Aneris

"Well you're here blubbering to me about being tricked instead of bragging to someone who'd reassure your decision, so you have to admit that somewhere down the line you made a stupid decision." Or maybe two actually, talking to Aneris would be a stupid decision no matter what.

London

"Tch." Shit, she was right... "Fine. I screwed up. I guess that's all I needed to say, so thanks for being the unlucky victim to hear me out." London crossed his arms and started to walk away.

Aneris

"No problem, good luck with the consequences of your actions being a lot more far reaching now." she could have teased but instead just replies with a flat sarcastic tone. After all you only need to lightly prod an open would to remind someone it's there.

London

London stopped and looked back, surprisingly with a grin on his face. "Heh. If you and Faelian can get away with the shit you do, then I don't think I have a lot to worry about. Thanks again!" He said a lot more cheery this time.

Aneris

She turns to glare at him, so if his goal was to annoy her with the elf comparison it worked.

London

While not a goal, he could appreciate the result anyway. He leaves Aneris in good spirits.

Aneris

Aneris thinks about the possibility of running into London 200 years from now and glares even more.

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fortune-failing · 6 years

Text

Faedon Decide on Facebook Relationship Status: It’s Complicated

Session 75, midflight to Ars Abigor

London

As usual, London returned to the room late. Even later than normally. He yawned. "Hey Faelian, how are you doing tonight?"

Faelian

Faelian had grown used to London coming in late by now so he wasn't surprised at all. He was kind of surprised at the question though. "I'm alright, you?" He put away a book he had been writing in.

London

"I'm.. okay." He had healed himself earlier, so there was no reason to believe otherwise now anyway. London slumped face down on the cushions of the small bed.

Faelian

"Just okay?" He tilts his head and looks over at the other laying down beside him.

London

London peeks his head enough so that just his eyes were in view of the elf. "Is something wrong with being just okay?"

Faelian

He gives him a small smile. "Nope." He wondered what was wrong.. was London regretting the potion already?

London

"Good." London returned the smile and sat up. Afterwards, he took a brief moment to look over Faelian. "Just as sexy as always."

Faelian

Faelian smiled more at seeing London's smile. He flushed soon after at the comment though. "Thanks.. it's good someone thinks so." He laughs. "I'm so awkward i'm not really sure if there's anything sexy about me at all."

London

"What?... Come on... Anyone would say so. What has you doubting your charisma all of a sudden?" He places his chin in the palm of his hands to stare Faelian in the eyes while talking.

Faelian

He chuckles a little more. "Thanks. I'm not doubting myself. I just think cute would describe me better. Hearing i'm sexy is nice too though." He stares back into London's eyes. Whatever might have been bothering London earlier seemed to have been pushed aside.

London

"'Cute'?!" This takes London by surprise and he breaks the staredown with a sudden blink. "What kind of grown adult man wants to be called 'cute'? Are you sure you're hanging out with the right crowd?" He taunts.

Faelian

He flushes more but this time out of embarrassment. "Well, I think you're cute. You seemed pretty happy when I called you that on your birthday." He smirks. "We're hanging out with the same crowd."

London

"Yeah, but it's still a weird compliment. Honestly.." He closes his eyes and continues to smile. "Apparently we're either hanging out with a bunch of teenage girls or we're spending out time with toddlers. No, really? Who got you in the hang of being called 'cute'? Was it those drunk guys at the bar who thought you were a woman? I can't believe you prefer that term over being called sexy."

Faelian

He sighs heavily and narrows his eyes at London. The smile is still on his face. "Beaford probably likes to be called cute." He narrows his eyes more and seems to be thinking if drunk guys in bars actually did call him cute in the past. "Hm.. maybe they did. I'm not sure though."

London

"Beaford....... is kind of girly, don't you think? Not saying it in a bad way. I guess you are, too. Maybe that's why you want me to call you cute. Should I start calling you 'princess,' too?" He sat up and moved next to Faelian just to get snug closer to him. That didn't stop his onslaught of taunts, however. "Who else would call you 'cute' besides the drunk guys? Do elves have it as part of their normal vocabulary to call dudes over 20 'cute'?"

Faelian

Faelian smiles more and raises his eyebrows as if to say 'see?' over the Beaford comment. "Huh?! No way. Don't call me princess." He furrows his brows and huffs. "Hm.. I don't know. I guess it must have been those guys. I'm sure not all of them were drunk though!" He notices London got a little closer and smiles more. "Hm. Didn't my mother call you cute?" He grins more, clearly teasing the other.

London

"I bet Beaford would like being called 'princess'." London grins. Faelian brought Beaford into this conversation, so now he must suffer the consequences. "He's a bad defense, you know. And even the not-drunk guys probably thought you were girly... That's kind of the association 'cute' gets, you know? Either childish or girly, and I can at least say you're not a kid." His smile widened. But not for long. A curious expression soon displaced it. "Does your mom still call you cute in letters? That really sounds like her." He laughed.

Faelian

He sighs. "Hm.. maybe he might want to be called princess but I don't. It's fine that i'm a little girly though.. just a little. I mean.. this really shouldn't be a surprise to you." London's last comment embarrasses him slightly. "Rarely. It's always embarrassing when she does. She calls everyone cute."

London

"Yeah, well wanting to be called 'cute' isn't just a little girly, but calling people 'cute' is just as girly it seems." London holds back a laugh while hearing Faelian's embarrassing confession about Lori.

Faelian

"Yeah, yeah. I'll take any compliments anyway so you can use whatever you think fits me best." He nudges London in the side playfully.

London

"You're so girly." He complies.

Faelian

He pokes London's side now. His hand threatening to tickle London.

London

"H-hey..." He was already starting to laugh. "Anyway! We should discuss what we're going to do with our relationship from now on! Don't you think? Sorry I left you hanging, I just wasn't sure what to do... I'm still figuring it out, I guess..."

Faelian

"Yeah. We should." He expression softens a bit. "You're still figuring it out?"

London

"I think... Well. We still love eachother... and we hug and kiss a lot..... so I think we can at least say we're something." London nods to himself and consequently to Faelian, too. Yes. He figured something out.

Faelian

"Yeah. So what did you want to call us?" He thought London didn't want to put a title to it.

London

"Well... It sounds like an open relationship, doesn't it?... Are you really sure you're okay with that?..."

Faelian

"I decided that it was worth trying. Besides isn't the only other alternative breaking up? And like you said, we both love each other and still want to hug and kiss each other."

London

"Is that really fair to you, though? Maybe I'm being greedy...." London hugs a pillow.

Faelian

"I don't know. I think we're both greedy. I want you all to myself and you want any love you can get. It's greedy but it's not entirely wrong of either of us. You tried it my way and you were completely unhappy. I'll try it your way for a while and see how I feel."

London

"That sounds risky... I don't want to take the chance of making you unhappy." He sighs.

Faelian

"Isn't trying something better than nothing? Besides...It's not like I never considered open relationships anyway. I just didn't think it would be so soon. With how long i'll live it's only natural i'll want to try being with other people too. It would be a little too much to spend my whole 1000 year life with the same person, wouldn't it? Now that you'll live longer maybe you'll want to try it my way again someday anyway."

London

Hearing that, London's demeanor changed. He pushed the pillow aside to sit up. "You're confusing me....." He said this in a more serious tone. "This is the first you've mentioned that it's 'natural' for you to want to be with other people, and that it's 'too much' to spend your 1000 year life with the same person. I thought earlier you said you were just wanting to try it because that's what I wanted. Did something change overnight?"

Faelian

"You confuse me even more all the time. You don't even know what you want." He sighs softly. "I had time to think about things and I just came to the conclusion that it would be a little too much to only stay with the same person for 900 years or so. I was willing to try open relationships later in life anyway so what difference is it to try them now instead and then find someone to settle down with later in life? In fact it's probably the better path."

London

"You never mentioned that at all before now, though! This whole time, I thought you were only going along with the open relationship idea because that was the only choice we had to staying together.. If I knew this before then..." London grew quiet. "A-also! You're talking like it's weird for elves not to be in open relationships now, but the only elves I know are in committed relationships with one person. Look at your parents for example, it's not that weird!!"

Faelian

"I told you early on that we could move to open relationships later if you wanted. Didn't you listen to me at all? I'm just doing it backwards now. I didn't like the idea very much and i'd still prefer to just be with just you but that clearly isn't going to work anytime soon." "I've also thought stuff over and decided that this is the best option for us. I guess I shouldn't have used the word natural. I'll be more careful with my words so that you don't misunderstand again. This is just what I decided would be the best for us now. This is a compromise."

London

London was about to say 'that's different', but the more he listened, the more he realized it was a simple misunderstanding. "Oh... Sorry. I guess I just got confused." Embarrassing. He frowned and looked at the pillow again. "I guess it's just late. I'm sorry I got all worked up. Um... Are you sure you don't want me to try to make that other potion again?...."

Faelian

"I probably just worded it weird so don't worry too much about it. I'm just bad at explaining things. Let me explain myself before you get worked up next time. Ask me to explain anything you need me to." He shakes his head. "I don't want you to make that. I don't like it at all."

London

He sighed. "Yeah, it really was a bad idea. Sorry again." London's eyes glanced back at Faelian, and he moved a bit closer to look at Faelian in the eyes again. "So it's an open relationship trial run then? What if it doesn't work out?.. Will you say if it's hurting you any?"

Faelian

"It's alright. I appreciate you trying to do something for me but.. it's just a really bad idea." He gave London a nod. "Yeah. If it doesn't work out then we'll just think of something else or just go back to being only friends. I'll tell you if it hurts me if you want. I guess the easiest thing would be to not really tell me too many details about stuff. Just until I have someone else on my side too probably."

London

"Ah.." London nodded back clearly not assured. "You said you still love Noronir, right? Were you thinking of hooking up with him again? Do you think that would really help?"

Faelian

"Yes.. I do still love him. I'll have to talk to him about it and see if he's interested in that kind of relationship." He nods again. "Yeah, I feel like that would help."

London

London stared at him a bit more. "You're so weird... Sorry for all of this trouble." He turned his attention away and looked downward.

Faelian

"Why am I the weird one here?" He tilts his head and looks back at London curiously. "If anything you're the weird one." He grins a little and nudges London's side softly.

London

"You're weird because you put up with everything. You need to care for yourself more. You don't need to deal with all of this."

Faelian

"I'm not willing to put up with anything. If I decide I don't like it then i'll break it off. You tried to do things my way even though it was clear you didn't want to." He pats London's back. "You're the last person who needs to tell me to take care of myself. You should take care of yourself more too. You worry too much about everything."

London

London nodded yet again. "I love you, Faelian. I guess we'll see if it really helps anything.." The lack of confidence was apparent in his words.

Faelian

"I love you too, London." He leans over slightly and stares at the other bard. "You don't sound confident. Stop worrying so much. If it doesn't work out, i'll let you know." He takes London's hand and kisses the back of it.

London

He smiled and followed that action but gripping Faelian's hand tighter and pulling him down onto the bed with him. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

Faelian

Once closer, Faelian snuggled up against the other bard. "Yeah. Try to keep it in mind and relax. If it doesn't work out then we can figure something out. And if we can't figure something out I want to always be your friend."

London

"Y-yeah!" London hugged back just a little more tightly. "Goodnight Faelian."

Faelian

"Goodnight, London." He presses a small kiss on London's cheek before getting more comfortable against him.

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