Last Seen Blogs
unicornjoe5697
Untitled
achyutapriya
यत् भावो - तत् भवति
thatartsyej
EJdoesArt
univcrsty
University
endwalkerlore
Endwalker Notes and Theories
Text
Scared
Kinda hit some fucking brick wall. I run out of outlets to demish my built up aggression. And the outlets i still use dont succeed in keeping my mind occupied anymore like they used too... so i take to tumblr in hopes that maybe i can just write to relieve some stress. Thats all i really have now. Stress. Shits consumed my life in all the wrong ways to the point that even if i had nothing to do in a given day, or work, or anything at all ill still wake up 8 times before reaching a full good nights rest worried i forgot something or need to do something. I cant enjoy showers anymore i just use it as a excuse to hide and think harder in boiling water. And i cant play video games without thinking about my problems. One of my best friends who i loved and known since my first year of going back to public school recently got sent to jail under burglary and vandalism and resist arrest charges in new mexico despite going there to sell hard core drugs. And before he even went to new mexico he had warrants for his arrest on similar charges here in vegas put out by his mother. To top that off he backstabbed me and my best friend by throwing a party and robbing and destroying my friends house doing $200,000 in damage. And to think i shared my room with him or gave him help when he needed it. I hardly have friends as it is i keep my circle as small as possible to avoid problications and this shit happens its heart breaking and demeaning in all sense of the word for me so imagine my friend when he found out too. Theres way more to that whole mess but for legal purposes i wont get into it either way its truly take a huge effect on me and who i have left as friends. I have a trash job they never give me hours simply because the managers best friend decided to work there and being as shes a favorite of the manager she gets all the hours. Not only am i getting fucked over but so are other people that work with me that need the job to feed their families and kids. And even then because of a accidental miss happen they are trying to transfer me to a shittier store because i apparently do worse then everyone else even though no customer or fellow employee says that. Its stupidly unfair so now i gotta stress over trying to find a different job. To top it off i spent alot and i mean alot of money on others and hardly myself and im starting to lose financial protection. I want help not professional or close family help i want to be given attention from those i seek attention from. If it be my ex avery whose probably reading this or one of my remaining close friends. Because im starting to just get seriously depressed and lonely lately. Im fucking lonely and its killing me that im getting even more lonely. Im scared i wont amount to my ambitions and that i will lose feeling towards purposes. Im terrified of life.
0 notes
Text
You try so hard only to fail in the end. You should have aimed for it instead.
0 notes