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i heard tumblr’s going to ban little german boys in lederhosen holding enormous lollipops next

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I hear they’re gonna ban images all together next tumblr update

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so what if i overuse “🥺” emoji??? dont little things in life make u go “🥺”???

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#ayo what the fu

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rotates rotates rotates

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 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

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ra ra rasputin is objectively the funniest song ever written it's like "rasputin was an advisor to the romanovs and honestly he was a bit of a power-hungry conman (oof)... but you're not here for a history lesson! you want to know how much he fucked, don't you? well i'll tell you: he fucked. he fucked often and severely."

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I like my boyfriend very much

#I am very happy :•)

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whoever stole my foot gloves is a son of a gun . all i;m will say about that

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I was walking through the mall and I headed into a Barnes & Noble, and Barack Obama was for some reason signing books there so I walked up, like ???? He wrote a book? Some biography?? When I got up to the desk, all the books were just lizards, and Obama replied to my inquires with a simple, “They may have no names, but there’s an identity to be acknowledged,” and he smiled as he signed another lizard and then there was something about a surprise dragon and then I woke up.

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“men aren’t pretty” wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong bad incorrect stop talking

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me: soft, full of love, forgiving, kind, bright  also me: can hold grudges for years, bitter as hell, already cried twice today 

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Funniest part of yakuza PC ports flashing you with "Real Yakuza use a gamepad" is how in that one interview where a game journalist got actual real yakuza to play these games and one struggled using the controller because he had his fingers cut off

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are you race-faking

RACE FAKING AS WHITE?????