i heard tumblr’s going to ban little german boys in lederhosen holding enormous lollipops next
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I hear they’re gonna ban images all together next tumblr update
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so what if i overuse “🥺” emoji??? dont little things in life make u go “🥺”???
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rotates rotates rotates
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“hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”
“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”
“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’
“uuuuuh hold on”
*fishes something out of my pocket*
“mikey what do i do?”
“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”
*stuffs it back in my pocket*
“uhh yes please the meal would be great”
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ra ra rasputin is objectively the funniest song ever written it's like "rasputin was an advisor to the romanovs and honestly he was a bit of a power-hungry conman (oof)... but you're not here for a history lesson! you want to know how much he fucked, don't you? well i'll tell you: he fucked. he fucked often and severely."
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I like my boyfriend very much
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whoever stole my foot gloves is a son of a gun . all i;m will say about that
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I was walking through the mall and I headed into a Barnes & Noble, and Barack Obama was for some reason signing books there so I walked up, like ???? He wrote a book? Some biography?? When I got up to the desk, all the books were just lizards, and Obama replied to my inquires with a simple, “They may have no names, but there’s an identity to be acknowledged,” and he smiled as he signed another lizard and then there was something about a surprise dragon and then I woke up.
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“men aren’t pretty” wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong bad incorrect stop talking
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me: soft, full of love, forgiving, kind, bright
also me: can hold grudges for years, bitter as hell, already cried twice today
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Funniest part of yakuza PC ports flashing you with "Real Yakuza use a gamepad" is how in that one interview where a game journalist got actual real yakuza to play these games and one struggled using the controller because he had his fingers cut off
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are you race-faking
RACE FAKING AS WHITE?????
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