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A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

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I would be so powerful if even one of my executives functioned. Just. Even a single one of them. Please. Please .

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Remember let’s plays… men don’t want to make let’s plays anymore all they know is podcast and twitch stream. And lie

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tumblr removed my header which was literally just this image

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little chef and secret agent

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i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

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The thing neurotypicals tend not to understand about the ADHD brain is that it really only has two gears

I turn to the chalkboard and carefully write out

WORKIN' HARD

HARDLY WORKIN'

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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

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when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

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i love you USPS I love you NASA i love you taxpayer funded services that actually contribute positively to society i love you libraries i love you public transport

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Not to brag but my cats are Artists™

[Medium: Claws on rainbow scratchboard]

Remi works with a hesitant, erratic violence, creating a piece as light and fluffy as she is, and signing her work by hole-punching it with her teeth.

Timmy uses bold, strong lines to evoke some kind of powerful event, echoing his powerful presence and loud voice.

Nubbins, truly inspired, creates a high-energy piece that symbolizes the void where his brain should be, surrounded by chaos and mischief.

Kona, a reclusive avante garde artist, refused to work with me around. Only in quiet solitude did she create this haunting, introspective work.

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HAPPY FIRST EVER INTERNATIONAL AROMANTIC VISIBILITY DAY

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Staff have done their best to hide this post, OP's blog has been deleted to hide it. Spread this post as much as you can (ideally through screenshots to avoid it being nuked)

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