fucking-micheal

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"Not beating the ___ allegations" is such a 'now' turn of phrase, implying as it does a world where everyone's behavior is always on literal trial by a guilt-presuming judge and jury that consists of anyone who happens to be paying attention.

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things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

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i am skeptical you could do that actually, tiktok user

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should i get into bird watching?

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look at my doctors dawg im gonna die

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mice aren’t cowardly they’re just shy. Introduce yourself non-threateningly to harvest mouse bites

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people who aren’t in the house md fandom assume that the batshit craziness of these plotlines starts and ends with the old man yaoi and the malpractice. you all think you understand? [grabs you by the face] listen to me closely. these patients specifically seek out house because he’s known as the capital-G God of diagnostics. on MULTIPLE occasions someone has come in with seizures, coughing up blood, in multi-system organ failure and the team is like “it says here in the chart that you’ve had sex before?… yeah so we have concluded that ur allergic to cum :/ sorry.” and then are genuinely shocked when their treatment of “no more taking big fat loads from peanis” doesn’t reverse sepsis. this is a medical drama. about medical mysteries

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that one bitch that doesn't play about being CURSED FOREVER to sleep on a TWIN SIZED MATTRESS in somebody's attic or basement MY WHOOOLE LIFE... never GRADUATING up in SIZE TO ADD ANOTHER and my nightmares will have nightmares every night EVERY NIGHT EVERY NIGHT

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cake is such an underappreciated band. i can’t believe we brought back low rise flare jeans before we brought back cake in the top 40

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"The Stoppables"

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Genghis Khan has got it going on

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80s horror practical effects was that bitch. can’t outdo the doer

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me watching old music videos on youtube for three hours straight

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tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

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my leitmotif is about to fucking reprise

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hater of socks

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fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated