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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 1 hour

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He's Not Yours

Pairing: Mafia!Jenson x Assistant!Reader

Rating: PG-17

Words: 3.2K

Warnings: Pregnancy, lying, angst, fluff, it's really just, yeah

Synopsis: One night changes your life, but one lie completely destroys it

Mafia Jenson: pt.1 Unattainable / pt.2 Slipping Through My Fingers

A/N: This was an idea @percervall and I talked about a long time ago and I’m finally writing it and yes this is part of the main story

With shaking hands, you try to read the test before you; you are unwilling to believe what the test says. The two little lines mock you, making you sick. Taking another deep breath, you grab your phone and dial the first person you can think of.

"I need you,"

-----------------------

Lewis holds it as you sit on the couch, sobbing, trying to get control. You craved control, but instead, you've thrown your world into such uncontrollable chaos that your chest has tightened. Lewis takes an intense breath, blows out, puts the test down on the coffee table, and slowly bends to your height.

"Jenson?" He asks the question slowly like he knew asking you would set off a whole wave of tears. You flinch at his name, the flashes of drinks, laughter, his hands on your body, pulling delicious toe-curling orgasms out of you. And the way he felt inside you. Shaking your head, you nod it slowly, and Lewis groans. He wants to yell at you for finally getting with Jenson and being so reckless.

"Well, I know this isn't how you wanted to get with him, but Y/n." "He can never know," Lewis snaps his mouth shut, his eyes narrowing but softening when you look up at him. "Lewis, he can never know. Lewis, promise me, promise me you won't tell him." Lewis groans and hangs his head. Sighing, he pulls you into his arms as you cry into his chest. "I won't, I won't tell him."

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You finally calmed down enough to talk with Lewis about being pregnant. Pregnant, you couldn't believe it. Pregnant with Jenson's baby, it made a smile tug at your lips, but you had to shake your head as it would be extremely dangerous having his child. You loved Jenson, and he loved you, yet you two kept up this game of not being together. Jenson was the head of a Mafia group, and if his enemies learned he had a child, he'd have a weakness, a weakness that would end with either the child's death or his, and you knew you wouldn't survive either.

"I know you don't want to tell him, but you can't hide it," Lewis whispers, pouring you some juice, even though you'd really wish it was alcohol. "I'm not going to hide it, Lewis. Just tell him it's someone else's, baby," Lewis makes a disgruntled noise and sits down, shaking his head. "Y/n, I love you, but that would crush him. He loves you, and you two finally sleep together, and he has been chewing Fernando and I's ear off about how you two are finally coming together." The knife in your heart stabs deeper, tearing into the muscle with such force you choke on air.

"If people find out that this is his child, they'll target the child, and Jenson would," You take a deep breath as the tears gather in your eyes. "Jenson would rather die than let his child be harmed. I can't lose them both," You whimper, hanging your head in shame. "You're going to lose him if you tell him that you're carrying another man's baby." Lewis loves you, he'd kill for you, has killed for you, he'd die for you, but he wouldn't support you in this. Jenson has been his friend for years, and this would crush his dearest friend.

"You think I don't know that!" Your voice raises at the end, and you swallow back the bile burning your throat. "Lewis, just trust that I'm doing the right thing," Lewis has never seen you so broken. You were always this badass, tough woman who could cut a man down with one look. Hell, you've got Jenson Button down on his knees for you. "I don't think you're doing the right thing, but I'll be here for you, no matter what." Lewis moves, sitting down next to you and kissing your head.

"We have the gala tonight," you whisper, and Lewis groans, knowing Jenson will be all over you. You know, last gala, I snuck off with Sebastian, and we were gone for a while," you whisper, and Lewis goes tense next to you. "Don't, Jenson and Sebastian are close," You chuckle, sipping at the sweet drink in your hand. "Sebastian and I were engaged once." His jaw drops as you nod, having never revealed that fact. "I'm sorry, what? You were once engaged to Michael Schumacher's right-hand man, now the German Mafia's leader?" Lewis pulls back, and a wet chuckle gets past your lips.

"We were children, young, we met at university, and well, it was a whirlwind romance. We got so close to being married, but we both realized we didn't want this, so we stopped. Stayed good friends too," Lewis thinks over every interaction you've had with them, and you giggle, seeing the lightbulb go off. "Oh my god, that's how you got us to meet with them," you nod and start to laugh, feeling slightly lighter.

"Jesus," Lewis sinks into the couch as you nod. Where did you...could it be?" You stop him and shake your head no. "No, Sebastian... no, we didn't sleep together," you admit, and Lewis nods his head, not wanting to doubt you, but right now, he needs a little doubt. "Would Sebastian even agree to this?" Sipping on the juice is the only thing that does not make you nauseous. "Yes, he owes me." Lewis raises an eyebrow, and you lean back into his arms, his fingers digging into your neck muscles.

"Why does he owe you?" Lewis stops and shakes his head fast. "Actually, don't tell me, knowing you, it's probably something horrible." Your lip quirks up as you sigh and look at Lewis. "He's in love with Mark," "Oh yeah, he's in love with Mark," Lewis repeats, his eyes slowly growing wide as he lets the words sink in. "What, but Mark is," "Yep," You whisper sadly, remembering the night Sebastian sobbed in your arms about Mark and how he would never love him.

"Does Mark," "He suspects something, but that's why tonight I'll be stuck by his side. He'll get drunk and do something reckless," You whisper, Lewis nods and looks at the time. "We should get going," You nod, standing as you look down at the pregnancy test. "Oh god, I'm pregnant." Lewis laughs and pulls you into his chest, rubbing your arm, "Yeah, yeah, you are,"

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"Something is off," Lewis tenses next to Jenson as he stares at you and Sebastian. Lewis tries hard not to make eye contact, worried he'll spill everything to Jenson. "What, no, nothing is off," Lewis answers far too fast, but Jenson doesn't clock it, staring a hole into your head. "How do Sebastian and Y/n know each other?" Lewis swears his muscles will rip from how tight they are, and Mark questions the closeness between you and Sebastian.

Lewis wishes you could hear his thoughts as Sebastian puts an arm around your waist, and you lean into him. Lewis closes his eyes and sees Sebastian moving his hand lower and you inching closer. "Okay, I'm going to rip his hand off," Jenson slams his whiskey down, but Mark steps in. "Touch him, and I'll rip you apart." Jenson and Mark have a stare-down, Lewis panicking. "Stop it. They used to be engaged, so I'm sure there are still feelings there," Lewis blurts out, and he groans, knowing he just fucked up.

"What?" Jenson's sound makes Lewis's blood run cold as Fernando walks up and giggles. "Eh, love birds are leaving," Lewis wishes Fernando could read a room. Actually, he could. He was just feeding into it." Jenson's eyes turn pitch black as Sebastian grins and leads you out of the gala.

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"Congratulations," Sebastian whispers, and you smile, lying your head on his shoulder. "If anyone asks, can," "Of course, but you know I won't be in the baby's life; I'm going to be the cool uncle." You giggle, and he sighs, pulling you closer. "So, Jenson, you are having a baby." "No," Your voice is cold as you touch your stomach. "I'm having a baby, not Jenson. He was just a...a sperm donor." You spit and sigh as Sebastian stares at you with wide eyes. "Woah, alright, never mind. Noted, don't talk about Jenson." Sebastian whispers, and you groan, burying your face in your hands.

"Sorry, it's the fucking hormones, if the time is right, I'm 3 months pregnant." Sebastian hums and takes off his jacket, placing it on your shoulders. "It's okay, but I'm serious; you can say I'm the father, but I can't be involved; he's around too much." You understood why Sebastian stayed away. It was too painful for him to constantly see Mark and not be with him. "I understand." And you did. It was unbearable for you to be around Jenson, even more so now that you are pregnant.

"I could always move to Germany," You offer, and Sebastian chuckles and shakes his head no. "He'd follow you, and then rip me to shreds, and then just drag you back here." You nod your head, knowing that was all very true. "I'm glad I can call you my friend," Sebastian smirks and waves a hand over him. "Well, duh, I'm the better blonde." Giggling, you two stand up and walk back to the party; you shiver, feeling someone watching you.

Turning, you see a distraught Lewis, a confused Mark, a smug Fernando, and a furious Jenson. Sebastian notices and moves, placing a delicate kiss on your lips and shocking you. You can see Fernando and Lewis holding Jenson back. "I hope you're making the right decision." You smile, and Sebastian gives you one last kiss, leaving you in the shadows.

Walking over, you grab a drink, but Lewis quickly swaps them, and you nod. "What the fuck was that about?" Jenson growls, Mark even looking pissed, which has you thinking things over. "I was telling him some news," "Which is what? What could possibly have been your ex-fiance kissing you?" You whip your head to Lewis, who quickly looks away and whistles. "Nothing," Jenson tightens his hold on his glass and waves over the bartender. "Get her a real drink, please," "No, thank you," The guys stare at you, shocked; you always drink with them. "I can't drink," You whisper, unable to look them in the eyes.

The bartender's eyes sweep over you and smile. "Congrats." He walks off. Jenson stares, but then a smile starts to grow. "Are you?" "Yes! And it's Sebastian's okay, but he wants... just leave it alone." You whisper. A pen could drop with how silent it was around you. Lewis, I want to go home now," Lewis nods and gathers you in his arms, noticing how you are still wearing Sebastian's jacket.

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2 months later, 5 months pregnant

You stopped wearing your heels, and you hated it. Mark and Jenson kept towering over you, and you were annoyed with it. Since that night at the gala, Jenson hasn't said much to you, just small words here and there, but today, he asked you to come into the office early, so here you are, trying to figure out what he would want to say to you.

Knocking on the office door, you push it open and see Jenson sitting in the same position you left him last night. "Did you stay the night?" You ask, shocked at his disheveled state. "Are you pregnant with my baby?" The question throws you off, shock flashing through your features, but you quickly school your emotions and take a deep breath. "No, Jenson, it's not your baby." His face, once stoic, breaks as he takes a deep breath and looks away.

"There's...not even a chance?" He whispers, and you hate being pregnant at this moment because he's got your throat tightening without even touching you, eyes burning like fire has been thrown in them. "No," You choke on the word; clearing your throat, you roll your shoulders back and speak up. "No, there's not a chance." You repeat, and Jenson leans back, rubs his face, and nods. "Sebastian, he....he's going to be there for you, yes?" It wasn't really a question; it was more of a demand. "No, he wants nothing to do with the bug, baby." Jenson's face is cold, but then he cracks a smile.

"Bug?" You sigh. It was something you started calling the baby, and it just stuck. Lewis even bought the baby a little bug plushie. "Yes, it's something I called the baby," "That's cute," Jenson stands and walks over before settling on his couch and patting the empty side. You move and sit down, feeling your feet ache as you whine. "I'm not the father, but I want to help Y/n," You open your eyes and stare at him. The raw emotion on his face eats you alive, Jenson has always spoken about how much he's always wanted to be a father, and here he is, the father of your baby, and you're hiding that from him. Taking away the one thing he's truly wanted.

"Jenson, you don't have to," Jenson moves, his large hands wrapping around your ankles and lifting them to his lap, and slowly rub the soles of your feet. "Jenson, please, I'm doing this alone," You whisper and pull your feet in, knees tucked into your chest. Jenson stares at you, the rejection hurting, but he clears his throat. "So, I'm just your boss, and you're my assistant, and us fucking, us telling each other we loved one another, that never happened? Instead, you fucked, Sebastian, and now you're pregnant with his baby, not mine." Jenson snaps, standing up, and you flinch, his anger leaving just as quickly as it came.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm just," You don't know what comes over you, but you start to cry and hold your arms out to him, just wanting to feel his warmth and smell the whiskey and earth that clings to him. Jenson doesn't think twice and sits down, pulling you into his lap. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," You repeat, sobbing into his chest. "It's okay, I'm here, I'm always here,"

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3 months later, 8 months pregnant

You don't know how it happened, but one day, you were living in your lovely apartment, and suddenly, you were living in Jenson's home, painting the nursery together. Now, you're lying in bed, wondering if you should talk to Jenson.

He wasn't his usual self; as your stomach grew, the more he refused to let you out of his sight, and you could tell he was slowly losing his mind. According to Lewis, he saw Sebastian not too long ago, and they both left the room with busted lips and black eyes. Jenson came stalking into the house, stormed past you, and locked himself up in his study hours ago. Unable to sleep, you throw the covers off and groan.

Your stomach was heavier and heavier by the day as your little bug was dropping, getting ready for you to give birth. Holding your stomach, you waddle to his study and knock on the door softly. "Jense, it's me." You push it open with ease and stop seeing him sitting at the desk, his head down and a bottle of whiskey half empty. "Jenson," You whisper, close the door, and walk farther into the study. "Jenson, love," You whisper, hating how you living here has made you two grow closer, scary close for you.

He looks up, and you hiss, seeing his eye and lip swollen. "That should be my baby; I wish it was my baby; I wish you were mine." He croaks, and you freeze, your hold on your stomach tightening. "Jense," "I would take such good care of you because I-.. because I love you." He whimpers, sounding so broken that you blink, and tears slide down your cheeks. Your chest aches; you knew he'd remember nothing in the morning. He was far too drunk to even correctly see if it was you in front of him and not some dream.

"Jenson, he is yours," you whisper, stepping forward and cupping his face, wiping the tears as his hands touch your stomach, staring at it. "Don't hurt me like that, baby. It's okay; I don't need to lie to protect my heart. Don't care. I will care for them no matter what. I will care for both of you," He slurs with a sad smile. That ache in your chest grows as you pull him up; he stumbles but stands upright and blinks slowly. "Let's go to bed, Jense." Jenson nods and follows after you. He stumbles occasionally, but you carefully lead him into the room, and he flops onto his bed.

"Go to sleep," You lean down and kiss his cheek, but he stops you, and you freeze, having never seen such vulnerability in someone before. "Stay, I'm, just stay," He begs, and you nod, not even thinking twice as you climb into the bed and sigh. Jenson's hand moves to your stomach, lying on it protectively. You flinch, feeling a little kick, and Jenson giggles. "Hey, little bug, I'm Jenson. I'm not your father, but I'll love you like one." You bite your bottom lip hard, trying not to sob as Jenson slips off into sleep, leaving you to sob quietly into the pillow.

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1 month later, Hospital

Jenson couldn't believe it; this tiny little human, the tiny bug, was finally here, in his arms. You slept soundly as Jenson refused to leave your side, and Lewis was picking out the perfect outfit to take him home in. "Should we do the bugs?" Jenson makes a face, and Lewis sighs as Jenson can't look away. The tiny bundle was tucked tight in his arms, staring up at Jenson. Jenson hated that the baby had Sebastian's eyes, these perfect little blues, with a little button nose and perfect lips.

"Here, dress him in this," Lewis says, holding out a pretty blue onesie, but Jenson shakes his head. He and the baby were doing skin-to-skin, and it felt like the perfect thing to do like the universe was frozen and nothing was wrong in the world. Jenson, you have to dress him." Lewis whispers, and Jenson finally looks away and groans, taking the onesie. "Ruining mine and bug's moment." "His name is Theodore, Theo for short." Jenson doesn't think it is possible, but he falls more in love with the little boy and his mother.

"Called Sebastian," Mark walks into the room and coos at the little blue eyes staring at him. Mark freezes and looks at Lewis with realization; Lewis slowly shakes his head no, and Mark looks at you, sleeping peacefully in the bed, and back at one of his dearest friends dressing the tiny human. "Yeah, what did he say? Does he even want to see his son?" Jenson asks in a cheery tone, but they can hear the anger in them.

Theo coos and yawns. Mark melts before shaking his head. "Um, he said, 'Oh, that's good,' and hung up." Jenson picks up little Theo and holds him close like any father would. "Fuck him," Lewis casts a glare, and Jenson doesn't see it too wrapped up in little Theo, who just stares right back at Jenson.

"Jenson," Lewis whispers; his close friend looks up with so much happiness and love that Lewis feels his heartbreak. Don't forget, he's not yours." Jenson's smile fades, blinking slowly as he looks back down at Theo and then at you. I know, but a man could dream." Jenson's voice breaks as he leans down, kissing Theo softly. "A man could dream," he whispers softly.

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 2 hours

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burying your face in his neck while you ride him on the couch. feeling his head turn and his lips glide a wet path over your jaw before he nips at it, breathing something about how good you’re making him feel — or maybe something with more of a teasing edge. getting tired? need me to do it for you? his hands cupping under your ass, getting a good handful before moving up to grip and guide your movements. maybe a light smack for encouragement. there you go, don’t stop now. ride that dick. you do it so well, baby. so well that i don’t think i can pull out.

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 18 hours

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pink face, pink nose.

eren yeager x fem!reader

cw: reader may be seen as pale, reader blushes, has pink nipples and blue veins, mentions of jerking off, sex and dick sucking

eren loves how your face fills with color when he compliments you. ballerina pink and a tangerine mixture pooling from your cheekbones to your nose.

eren loves your strawberry-tipped fingers as they move against his cock, eyes locked on his dick as you pump him.

eren loves how your blue veins burst on your breast when he sucks your tits, tongue slipping over red hard nipples as he sucks and sucks and sucks.

the lips of your pussy are this dusty pink he can't get enough of. it's like he made them blush. it's like you're so hot, so turned on, you couldn't help but flare up.

red lips swollen as he thrusts his cock so deep in your throat you choke softly, so overwhelmed, so used and he can't stop.

eren loves how your face fills with color when you cum around his dick. ballerina pink and tangerine mixture pooling from your face as the color comes in with full force after being teased for so long.

an: I hope people don't get mad at this. anyway, this was very self-insert, Im very embarrassed with how my cheeks flush, and making this was really nice. If you have any issues let me know in my inbox, anywho, I hope you guys enjoyed!

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 19 hours

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EREN + FOUR EYES GF <3

eren x glasses!fem!reader

cw: sucking dick, pussy eating, titties being called little, glasses being seen as smth innocent.

eren can't explain it...he just loves your fucking glasses so much.

ok, first of all, he thinks you look adorable in them. and when they knock up and down against your face that's how he knows he's fucking you right.

don't get him started on how you suck his dick. your frames sliding down as you choke on his cock? poor baby :(

-and when you clean them off because he couldn't help but cum all over them.

he is a titty man. he needs titty pics sometimes just to get through the day. so, you sending him a pic with ur little perky titties and your glasses making you look so...innocent? it kills him every time.

wait...are you cleaning ur glasses? how about eren eats you out on the counter rn as your blind ass can barely see him.

fuck he loves eating your pussy. lapping at that little wet clit is all he needs in his life.

ps. he pouts when you have a contact day.

an: this was sooo short but i really wanted to do smth cuz I'm aching for him but I'm so busy rn I can't even do anything. EVERYTHING is shortened because i have acrylics on rn and even though they're short they're fucking killing me

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 22 hours

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𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 ; 𝐞.𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐫

𝘌𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘦𝘷𝘪 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Summary: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐘/𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐄𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞?

CW: College!AU, Full smut, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, getting absolutely railed, Relationship Problems, Love Triangles, Smut, Historia is pregnant with Erens baby, Eren and Y/n are together, Levi is with Petra, Sad sex, Y/n is lowkey depressed, Eren is bad at feelings, Starbucks Levi, Levi is Bad at Feelings, Historia the Hoe, mega toxic, Toxic Eren.

playlist

Chapter 2: 𝘣𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘮𝘶𝘮

Masterlist

12 am.

12 in the fucking morning and Eren isn't back yet.

he left at 8 pm talking about how Historia texted him and, how he'll be back soon

your eyes slowly made their way to the cold dinner on the counter

he also mentioned he'd be back in time for dinner.

whens fucking dinner because it ain't at 12 in the morning

you sat on the couch staring at your phone waiting, praying for Eren to text or call you

he better have gotten into a car crash.

taking a sip from the wine Hange has blessed you with a couple of days prior you cross your legs.

you were in sweats and a tank top, real fancy.

your head snaps at the door hearing it unlock

Eren walks in getting startled by your presence

"Fuck baby you scared the shit out of me" his chuckles lowly turned into him clearing his throat to explain his absence

"Sorry about that, Historia and I were talking for a while after we put Alma down..."

sucking on the gums of your mouth you try to keep in the urge to just start screaming at him

"B-baby?"

you place your wine glass on the coffee table and get up to leave for the bedroom, you have so much you want to say but you just can't.

"Honey, wait" he grabs your hand and you finally look at him.

"I'm sorry that I was gone for so long...are you alright?"

"I'm I alright?" you ask in almost a whisper, is he serious?

"You left me to hang out with your friend and look at a sleeping child...honestly Eren I'm getting fucking tired at being the second choice"

"Come on Y/n you know how much Alma means to me..."

"I'm not talking about Alma..." your voice lightly cracks, awaiting his response.

"You can't be serious...Historia?" he slightingly chuckles just to straighten himself up at your stern gaze

"You're jealous of Historia?" he looks at you, taking your silence as a yes.

"I'm upset that you constantly put Historia above me, over and over again"

"You know it has to be that way, for Alma"

"It doesn't seem like it's for Alma anymore."

he stumbles back a little, laughing

"What? You want me to stop seeing Alma because you're jealous that her mother has a good relationship with me?"

"I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is that I'm still you're girlfriend Eren."

"What, Do you think I forgot something? What do you want from me?"

"I want to know if a 6-month-old baby cries, does her dad need to drive over right away to calm her down? I'm asking if you need to end dinner with your girlfriend to say goodnight to baby and talk with her mother for 4 fucking hours."

"I want to be a part of Alma's life y/n, I want to be there even if its the small things. you don't know how much it hurts that I can't be there 24/7"

"Oh well, maybe you should move in!" you say sarcastically

"Yeah, maybe I will."

"You don't know how fucking stressful it is. I don't get a break. I have to be a dad there and the 'perfect boyfriend' here." he snaps at you

you scoff at him,

"Eren...you haven't touched me in 2 weeks. I haven't had affection from my boyfriend for 2 weeks, I'm not asking for the perfect boyfriend I'm asking for the bare minimum."

he looks at you with hurt eyes, that really did it for him.

"Me. me being here is the best I can do. if you want more I'm not the guy."

"I want you to be with Alma and I want you to have a good relationship with Historia... it's just..."

"What"

"I don't think you actually like being here...with me." you say as you choke on your tears

"No baby, I love you why can't you see that?"

"I- I just feel like you'd prefer to be with her than me...I'm sorry Eren if I'm asking for too much but all I want is for you to love me. I'm not asking for you to choose me or her, I'm asking if you're still here for me."

"I don't know how to explain it...I just feel...neglected in this relationship" you say as more tears escape your eyes

you look into his eyes with burry ones, he looks hurt.

"Please Eren...please...all I want is for you to show me you care...I won't keep doing this if you don't want to"

"No, no, I'm sorry...fuck, I'm really really sorry" he walks up to you wrapping his arms around you

you start wetting up his shirt with your tears as he picks you up and takes you to bed

placing you on the mattress he turns to get changed but you tug on his sweat pants indicating for him to stay

he takes off his shirt and crawls into bed where he held you in the entire night.

maybe, it'll be easier if I just let him go

maybe, it'll be easier if I just shut up

maybe, it'll be easier if I just suck it up

maybe, it'll be easier if I wasn't such a pain

maybe, it'll be easier if I never existed.

Chapter 3

˜”*°•.˜”*°• see you soon •°*”˜.•°*”˜

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 22 hours

Text

𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 ; 𝐞.𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐫

𝘌𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘦𝘷𝘪 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

cw: College!AU, Full smut, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, getting absolutely railed, Relationship Problems, Love Triangles, Smut, Historia is pregnant with Erens baby, Eren and Y/n are together, Levi is with Petra, Sad sex, Y/n is lowkey depressed, Eren is bad at feelings, Starbucks Levi, Levi is Bad at Feelings, Historia the Hoe, mega toxic, Toxic Eren.

playlist

Chapter 1: 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴

Masterlist

I remember it like it was yesterday.

Eren came home with a stunned look on his face.

and told me Historia was 3 months pregnant,

with his child.

You and Eren have been dating for 3 months. a week before you two met, he slept with Historia...

He told me..."I want to be part of the child's life...but I also want to be a part of yours"

and I told him that I'd stay with him.

that was a year ago, Historia delivered a healthy baby girl.

during her pregnancy, she was very clingy to Eren, and that only grew when the baby was born

but...that was normal, right?

right?

please enjoy, side effects.

you wake up to Eren putting black sweats on.

"W-where are you going? It's... 2 am..." you mumble with half-open eyes scanning the alarm clock

"It's okay, go back to sleep baby...Historia needs me, she says it's about Alma." Alma is Historia and Erens baby.

"What? is she alright?" You sit up

"She's fine, it's nothing that important" "If it's nothing important why are you running over there at 2 in the morning?"

this happens at least two times a week.

are you serious? Alma's 6 months old now, she doesn't need her daddy running all the way to her house to calm her down if she starts crying. but of course, you don't say that.

"Honey, you know I promised Historia to call me over whenever, and no matter what I'd be there."

"I think she is abusing that power" You mumble quietly so he doesn't hear, and turn over trying to go back to sleep

"Bye sweetheart, I love you"

"I love you too" You smile as butterflies fill your stomach, even after a year you still get shy around him

6 am

You wake up to your phone going off

Eren: hey, can you come and get me from hiso's?

Y/n: sure

I get dressed in black sweats and a gray tank top and a black unzipped jacket,

putting your hair in a quick low bun, you grab your lanyard and phone.

knocking on Historia's door she opens it, she was in a pink robe.

"Good morning." "Oh, hey morning!" She greeted you

(Historias apartment is set up in a way that the kitchen, living room, and dining room are all connected, and there is a hallway leading to the bedrooms and bathroom.)

you walk in to see Eren pouring a cup of coffee

"Do you want any?"

"Uhm sure"

you stood in the kitchen sipping your hot coffee, the addicting substance flowing through your throat helping your tiredness just a little bit more.

Eren and Historia were talking in the living room when you heard her say,

"You know Eren...honestly you should just move in with me and Alma it would be so much easier and you'd be able to spend more time with her" you almost choke on your coffee as Eren nervously chuckled. at least you hoped it was a nervous chuckle.

"Uhm, I'd have to talk about it with Y/n...It's just that her school is right next to our place." you are a first-year in med school at the moment.

"Oh yeah it's cool, I mean Y/n could just stay there..." she mumbles the last part but you still heard it, you knew you weren't in the equation once she got the idea

and no way in hell were you going to let your boyfriend move into his baby mama's house.

"Eren, I think we should get going I have class soon" You say quietly as you take the last sip of your coffee before putting it in the sink

"oh...alright; Eren we still on for tonight?" Historia asks

"Oh...yeah" Eren says before walking up to Alma who was on the living room carpet rocking back and forth babbling, he kissed her forehead telling her out much he loved her...and then said bye to Historia and you two left

"What's happening tonight?" you ask while driving back to the apartment

"Oh nothing, we are just hanging out with Alma at her place" you hum in response

"So, what time will you probably come home?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure...8-ish? Don't wait up for me tho"

"Alrighty"

after school, you went to your job

Walking into the cafe being hit with the sweet scent of fresh coffee and warm pastries you look around being met with those familiar gray eyes

"Hey, Levi!" You said as you tied your green apron around your waist as you walked behind the counter

"Hey, Brat." he says as he writes someone's name on the cup

"Ooh! how was your talk with Perta go?" you ask as you heat up a brownie somebody ordered

he just turns to you, glaring

"I assume not good then" you nervously smile

Levi was going to have a talk with his girlfriend, Petra about boundaries. she always got too clingy...like, asking where he was, when is the next time she could see him, why he wasn't responding to her text right away. and this all would be normal stuff if it wasn't every. damn. second. Petra doesn't like you from the main fact that you work with Levi and she doesn't even know you...

"Well, what did she say?"

"She said, "Why am I so distant?" and, "It's normal for a girlfriend to be clingy" also my favorite," why are you so concerned? what? are you cheating on me?" ugh...I honestly don't know what else I can say to her"

"I don't know what to say, Levi. she seems a little controlling..." You lean on the counter and look at Levi who is obviously stressed with this situation

"A little?" He scoffs and leans on the counter in front of you

"tch, reminds me of someone"

"What did Historia do this time?" he smirks, amused to get updates on your chaotic life

"She wants us to move in with her but no! not me, just my BOYFRIEND" He laughs,

"Eren sees it right? don't think he is that oblivious..." He asks,

"I mean, what can he do tho? it's his child I guess he has to smile and nod and go back to seeing Alma." He hums in response

"But, I don't have any place to be mad...I agreed to stay with him knowing the difficulties this relationship will have..."

"Yeah but, you still can have an opinion" He tells you as he scoops ice into a cup

"Hmm, well enough about me...what are you going to about Petra?" you take the brownie out of the microwave and put it into the brown baggy

"I don't know..." he swirls carmel on the inside of the cup before pouring iced coffee into the container

"well I hope you figure it out, shorty" you giggle as you walk to the window

"You're shorter than me, don't try that." he scoffs

you walk into an empty house, you're not gonna lie you're a little disappointed...you kinda hoped you and Eren could have ~alone time~ tonight since it's been a while...but it's okay.

you stripped the black long sleeve you put on before you left for school, unclipped your bra, peeled the jeans off your legs; and took off your panties.

the boiling water priced your skin, soothing your muscles (that were supposed to be aching right now...), and spread the body wash down your legs (that were supposed to be shaking right now...) okay fine, you're salty. you're needy and your boyfriend is off having dinner with his hookup that ended with a child...you two haven't had sex in A WEEK. a whole ass week...but that's because your schedule has been all over the place. you aren't good with asking for sex from Eren...you always get too nervous resulting in you just saying "never mind" or "it was nothing" but Erens learned to pick up when you're needy for him.

~flashback~

"Hey"

"Hey" he smiles at you and goes back to scrolling on his phone

"A-are you doing anything tonight?" you crawl over to his side of the couch and look at his phone with him

"No, how about you" he chuckles

"I not doing anything..." you fiddle with your fingers

"Would you like to do something?"

"Whatever you want..." you avoided eye contact

he lightly grabbed you by the chin making you look at his eyes

"Baby? do you want sex?" your face goes red and you nod

~flashback over~

and then he railed you.

you chuckle thinking about it,

if only it could've stayed that way.

Chapter 2

˜”*°•.˜”*°• see you soon •°*”˜.•°*”˜

AU: I posted on my other socials a while ago, so, now I'm posting it on here! anywho, tysm for reading!

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 22 hours

Text

miserable.

summary: reader tries to go to a friendly get-together she was invited to, just to realize no one wants her there.

the bright glare of the stop light blinded your vision as you finally stopped your car.

you have no one.

absolutely no friends

you grip your wheel tighter, knuckles popping at the sudden move and your eyes blurring.

you don't even know why you went. this friendly get-together was obviously interrupted by you. no one wanted you there.

you walked up to jean first, saying hi as he just kinda stood there

"hi uh-"

uh. he doesn't know your name. you feel embarrassment flood through you instantly before connie ran up and through tears of laughter started retelling a story.

connie didn't even look at you either. you sniffed awkwardly and backed up. you suppose you only talked to them on a couple of occasions, that's fine.

you felt the car stop at another light, fuck you forgot you were even driving. you now saw the pile of tears on your jeans and felt your aching throat, sobbing silently in your car like a loser.

you brushed that interaction off and went up to the people you did know, eren, mikasa, and armin of course.

you're only here because armin invited you. being his friend in this tutor group you both formed it was nice of him to invite you here, you were gonna have fun.

walking up to eren leaning against the wall casually you said hi and he just shot a quick smile before locking eyes with mikasa who walked right in front of you, stepping on your foot.

she felt your shoe immediately and spun around, you saw eren putting his hand in front of his mouth to hide his laughter and your entire body ran cold, embarrassed yet again.

"oh, I'm sorry!" mikasa said, two cups full of alcohol in her hand as she wore wide worried eyes at you. well...at least someone is talking to you

"no its-" then she spun back around and gave eren his drink, who now had a red face and a smile from laughing so hard.

you turned around, stepping away, careful with your steps, now worried to embarrass yourself further

you heard eren snicker behind you and mikasa hitting his shoulder

"shush eren! don't be so rude, I think that's connie friend..she was just trying to be nice"

they didn't even remember you. fuck you were gonna cry. you didn't have tears in your eyes yet but your throat ached so hard like you were gonna let a sob out.

there's armin, fucking finally. you walked over to him, he was pouring drinks in the kitchen and you started to feel a lot more comfortable

"hey armin"

he looked over at you for a second and looked right back to the drinks he was preparing

"oh, hey. didn't think you'd make it" he mumbled while mixing some off-brand soda with whisky and you just felt your knees buck

"well...you invited me. of course, I'd show up" you reminded him, hoping to jog his memory that he must have invited you for a reason, that maybe he wanted to be your friend

"mm." he hummed simply before grabbing the drinks and swerving past you like you were blocking his way in the wide hallway

you felt your eyes burn and just walked out the door. running to your car as tears pooled out of your eyes.

you're so embarrassed. you have no friends. zero. you joined clubs and thought you made one but he just pitied you. he couldn't even stand you that long and not to mention his friends hated you to

you're aren't some new girl trying to find which group she's good in either. you're graduating soon and you don't even have new numbers in your contacts, just family who brush you off on the rare chance they call.

you ached for someone just to talk to, just someone. anyone. you don't have to have anything in common with them, just a warm body to just air your problems out and them to respond with something more than an "mm."

you're so fucking miserable and as you park your car in this weird ass parking lot to go up into the apartment that's every shade of tan, you know you're just gonna be as alone as you always will be. because people can't fucking stand you.

an: hope you guys have a good wednesday

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 1 day

Text

jellyfishes 𓆞ㅤ🪸 𓈒 𓇼ㅤׂ🪼

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 2 days

Text

Jean Kirstein

Nsfw twt links pt2

Jean x f!reader

Jean playing with your small pussy

Jean fingering you

Jean fucking you on a picnic blanket

Sitting on Jean's face

Jean thrusting up into you

Jean eating you out like a starved man

Jean cream pies you

He's too big

Size difference with jean

Jean eating you out softly

Size kink with jean

Riding jean

Squirting on Jean's cock

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 5 days

Text

AU List A-Z

Made a list of all the AU’s I could think of. Used to help me when I have no ideas, decided it could help others and I should post it. It took a few weeks to fill it out this extensively and I have no more interest in adding to it, so please don’t bother suggesting anything （；￣д￣）

Accidental Marriage AU

Actor AU

Alien AU

Amnesia AU

Android AU

Angel/Demon AU

Animal AU

Apocalypse AU

Arranged Marriage AU

Artist AU

Art Student AU

Assassin AU

Athlete AU

Author AU

Avian (Bird People) AU

Babysitter AU

Bakery AU

Ballet AU

Band AU

Bartender/Bar AU

Beach AU

Blind AU

Blind Date AU

Bodyguard AU

Book Store AU

Bounty Hunter AU

Brothel AU

Caterer AU

Camp Counselor AU

Camping AU

Carnival AU

Castaway AU

Celebrity AU

CEO/Boss AU

Chef AU

Child AU

Choir AU

Circus AU

Clothing Shop AU

Club AU

Coffee Shop AU

College AU

Conductor AU

Choreographer AU

Coworker AU

Criminal AU

Cult AU

Cyborg AU

Dancer AU

Dead/Death AU

Deaf AU

Demigod AU

Demon Hunter AU

Detective AU

Dimension Hoping AU

DJ AU

Doctor AU

Domestic AU

Dragon AU

Drama Class AU

Enemies AU

Ex AU

Fairy AU

Fake Dating/Engagement/Marriage AU

Fashion/Fashion Designer AU

Fire Fighter AU

Forbidden Love AU

Fugitive AU

Gang AU

Gardener/Gardening AU

Ghost AU

Hairstylist AU

Haunted House AU

Hero/Villain AU

High School AU

High School Reunion AU

Historical AU

Horror AU

Hospital AU

Hunger Games AU

Immortal AU

Judge AU

Jury Duty AU

Kidnapper/Kidnapped AU

Lawyer AU

Library AU

Lifeguard AU

Mafia AU

Maid AU

Magician AU

Magic AU

Marriage AU

Mechanic AU

Medieval AU

Mermaid AU

Military AU

Model AU

Modern AU

Monster/Monster Hunter/Monster Tamer AU

Murder Mystery AU

Musical AU

Musician AU

Neighbor AU

Ninja AU

Nurse AU

Office AU

Officer (Police) AU

O/B/A AU

Parallel Universe AU

Parametric AU

Paranormal Investigator AU

Parent AU

Pen Pal AU

Pet Store AU

Photographer AU

Pirate AU

Podcast AU

Porn Star AU

Prisoner AU

Prank War AU

Prostitute AU

—

Reality TV Show AU

Reporter AU

Restaurant AU

Resurrection AU

Road Trip AU

Roll Reversal AU

Room Mate AU

Rival AU

Royalty AU

Scientist AU

Serial Killer AU

Servant AU

Sick AU

Social Media AU

Soulmate AU

Space AU

Spy AU

Stalker AU

Stranger AU

Street Racing AU

Stripper AU

Student AU

Survival AU

Tattoo Shop AU

Teacher AU

Theater AU

Thief AU

Time Travel AU

Undead AU

Undercover Cop AU

Vacation AU

Vampire/Vampire Hunter AU

Veterinarian AU

Waiter AU

War AU

Wedding Planner AU

Werewolf AU

Wild West AU

Witch AU

Wizard AU

—

Yandere AU

Youtuber AU

Zookeeper AU

Zombie AU

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 7 days

Text

Pt. 2"눈을 보고 말할래요. "보고 싶었어요"

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆synopsis: you're living your best life, leaving everything behind in the past however a small 'family' gathering at Levi's home threatens to unfold everything.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆contains: modern au! everyone, Levi's mom and uncle are alive in this au, mentions of swearing but not actual swearing, Carla is also alive, Eren's dad is absent, mentions of medication.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆wc: 9.8K.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆tw: swearing, mentions of pills, medication use and brief manipulation.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆ Here is 1 and 3

Life is going great.

You're done with finals, you're graduating in a few weeks, and you've prepared your graduation gown and a bucket list of all the places you'd like to visit during your friend group trip to the country you've always wanted to travel to.

You've made new friends, such good loving friends. You love them like a relative, like a long lost possession about to bid its goodbye once more. You cherish the time you spend with them and they've shown you that they feel the exact same way.

All of you get along so well, you find joy and solace in each other's company, and the laughter is actually genuine. It's a huge contrast to the previous chapter of your life, where toxicity and ugly attitudes were all you knew about friendships. Now, the warmth of genuine friendships surrounds you. And you couldn't be more grateful.

You've also fallen in love with composing songs and soundtracks, which was originally brought up by a friend of yours after they saw you playing around with a launchpad and they started grooving crazily to the beat you made up on the spot and other times you created melodies that made them cry.

So now, you part-time compose soundtracks for this new uprising director, Levi Ackerman. He's French-Japanese, very well-known in the film industry and you may or may not have the biggest crush on him. He's blunt, reserved, stoic, and loaded with creativity. Nowadays, you are working on his breakthrough project, his films create a canvas for your musical symphonies and all of this wouldn't have happened if your friends didn't lovingly force you to email him your samples.

Honestly, they are your biggest hype-mans, your number-one fans, and your admirers. They tell you that you're so talented that if you released some of your music, you'd be winning awards left to right. But you don't think they'll believe you if you tell them.

You have won awards, plenty of them, more than you can count however the problem is you've won them indirectly.

4 years have passed ever since you went no contact with your 'old friends' and in those 4 years while you were living your best life, working hard to get to where you are right now, they have become popular and not just '10K popular and one viral hit' popular, we're talking about '10 million albums sold, a world tour (and another one coming up), Billboard's most weeks on chart, surpassing world legends and 3 Grammys' popular. Connie on the other hand became a YouTuber and he's amassed a total of 13M subscribers and Historia started a fashion company on par with the leading designers of today.

Half of the songs on their albums that supposedly broke the charts were produced by none other than...you. Most of the ideas on Connie's YouTube channel were brainstormed by the both of you and you see familiar designs on the clothes that celebrities wear because it was you who created that blueprint.

The last two you can't take much credit for but for the songs? Your compositions, your melodies which you have poured all your soul into, have become the backdrop of their meteoric rise.

You don't know how to feel, everything seems so bittersweet.

On one hand, there's pride in your work being recognized on such a grand scale. On the other, there's the confusion and overall sense of unease that comes with the realization.

You had so many questions surrounding this topic such as, 'Why didn't they credit you' and 'Did they do it on purpose or was it accidental'

After all, no one knows where you are, you are left with no information, you cut off everyone and now that you think it through, realistically there was no way to credit you.

While curious about their whole uprise to fame, you remind yourself that although you do deserve the credit and the fame, it's not what you're looking for right now. You've got a different helmet on and if you have to regain contact with them to gain your rightfully so credit, they might as well keep it.

You are interrupted from your session of zoning out by a p!ng, an email pops up on your computer with the subject being Urgent and the sender being Levi Ackerman.

Urgent:

come over.

You've grown accustomed to his antics by now, as you have been working together for about 2 years now. If he says 'It's urgent' it's very likely that it's just 'I don't want to ask anyone else because it's embarrassing so I'll ask you'

So you reply back with a call, smiling to yourself as you decide to tease him a little. After the 5th ring, he picks up which is funny considering he's just staring at the phone ringing until he deems it's the right ring to answer to seem like he was busy.

"What?" He asks sighing as if he has better things to do with his time.

"Oh no, it's nothing. I'm just wondering when you'll switch to texting because I can't really keep up with fossils" you reply trying to get a rise out of him.

"The only thing fossil is your humour" He retorts unfazed as he sips on something in the background, obviously tea.

"Are you sure it's not your age, I'm pretty sure you were friends with Aurelius at one point"

"Cute, are you sure it's not your personality, I'm sure I've met thousands of people with the exact same everything as you."

"Ouch, I didn't deserve that" you reply, feigning hurt in your voice when you're actually just joking.

"So what do you need? What is so urgent" you ask, curious of what it is this time.

"Come over and you'll know" He responds curtly and before you can respond, he hangs up on you. You scoff, internally noting to give him an earful when you get to his place. You roll your eyes at his attitude, his characteristic not unfamiliar to you.

With a quick text to your roommate, you inform her about your plans for the night and that food is in the fridge. Anticipating her lack of response due to her own night out partying, you head out, leaving the message to be read by her whenever she can.

Levi's home is a 15-minute drive from your apartment, he lives in the middle of the very fashioned neighborhood. Despite being full of creativity and the creator of films that have everyone on the edge of their seat, the man can't design his house at all. He has the design of a monochromatic minimalist, with no sign of color anywhere, you can't stand it. Everything is grey there, you feel the color getting sucked out of you when you enter his house.

Finally, you arrive there quickly enough as the road to his neighborhood is quite deserted. You struggle to park the car in his driveway as it's very narrow but after a few minutes, you manage.

Guess rich people don't leave their houses, you think as you ring the doorbell to his house.

He opens the door and stands there with his nth cup of tea somewhat observing you before telling you 'You know the drill, I'll be in the office'.

Ah, the drill, how could you forget? You give him a sarcastic smile before watching him walk off and adhere to the so-called drill.

You have to take off your shoes, put them in a disinfectant bag, seal it up, and hang it on the shoe rack. As well as disinfecting your hands twice and hanging your coat and bag on a coat rack where you clean it both with some weird lint roller he has. You don't mind it really, it is his house after all.

After doing all that, you put on some guest slippers and head to his office. The house hasn't changed since your last visit, it's almost vibrating with greyness. You feel like smiling is forbidden, which may be, in the comfort of his home.

You turn a corner and see him sitting in his office chair playing back parts of his last movie and writing notes on how to improve. The mood would be better if the office had some sort of personality to it but no, this is an asylum.

"You know I recently came across a color palette, and it immediately reminded me of you, It was more on the brown side, with beautiful shades of wood, warm earth tones, and hints of amber." You share with Levi, attempting to bring a touch of color into the monochromatic conversation.

"There were even hints of grey" You add to gain his curiosity after he seems to have ignored you at the first attempt at making conversation.

Levi raises an eyebrow and stares at you through the rim of his glasses, clearly unimpressed by the mention of color invading his sanctuary of grayscale. "Why would a color palette remind you of me?" he questions, his tone conveying sarcasm and a hint of curiosity.

You chuckle, finding his reaction predictable. "Well, it had a certain rugged elegance like someone I know and also because I think it would suit you"

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, a faint trace of a sarcastic smirk playing on his lips. He gets up from his desk to head towards the office cabinet. "Flattery won't change my stance, I like how things are just fine. "

"I don't know what kind of colour trauma you've obtained during your centuries of living but to each their own, I guess" You joke smiling widely as he deadpans at your joke of his age before you change the subject and look upon where he's going. He has a teacup collection in his office cabinet, you think but shrug it off instantly as it kind of makes sense for the tea-addict man to have a teacup collection. The cabinet seems to be reserved for just tea, teacups, teabags, tea flavors, and even tea scents. Perhaps he was a teashop owner in another life.

He pours the pre-made fresh tea into one of the cups and places it before you, "So now that I'm here, what do you want?"

He puts his pen down and takes off his reading glasses, before interlocking his fingers and taking a more serious stance. You honestly think he's about to fire you but his glint seems a bit more personal.

"I need a plus one" he finally admits as if it was the hardest thing ever.

Your eyes widen in surprise at Levi's unexpected request for a plus one. Your lips barely touch the cup's rim and decide to taste it later for fear of choking on your tea. His usually stern demeanor seems to soften for a moment, revealing a side of him that isn't often on display.

"But for two events, one personal and the other official." He continues.

"Personal, as in you wanna ask me out?" you ask, totally confused because that makes no sense.

"Tsk, no you idiot, maybe let me finish next time" He interjected quickly hands discreetly covering his ears at the tiniest blush that formed at the tip of them.

You become flustered at the abrupt response, slightly embarrassed by your assumption. "Maybe don't take prehistoric pauses between sentences. What's the personal event?"

He takes a moment to regain his composure, the brief flicker of a curious glint in his eyes indicating that he might be enjoying the misunderstanding on your end. "The personal one is a family gathering, My mother wants me to be the host of the family gathering this month."

"And I come in where?"

"I usually stay isolated in my room because I can't stand the whole mood of the place, it's too chatty and noisy but now I have to host." He tsks shaking his head at the memory of the last family gathering.

"And you don't know how to, so you want my help?"

Levi nods, his expression serious. "In short, yes."

"Right, yeah so I still don't understand. Why don't you pick someone else, someone who you're already comfortable with" You ask, not knowing why he's asking you when he has a few friends of his own.

"Who says I'm not comfortable with you?" Levi gives you an incredulous look as if your question is absurd and the answer is obvious.

You can't help but raise an eyebrow at Levi's unexpected response. "Comfortable with me? You've been scowling at me since we met."

Levi offers a nonchalant shrug. "It's my default expression. I'm not a people person. You're the least annoying person I've met so far."

"um, thanks, I guess?"

Levi nods, his acknowledgment devoid of any neutrality. "Don't read too much into it."

You can't tell if he's being sarcastic or genuinely expressing a form of acceptance. Either way, you decide not to dwell on it too much. Levi is known for his stoic demeanor, and deciphering his feelings is like trying to read ancient hieroglyphs, so it's best not to read too much into it.

"Okay, and for the official one?"

"The official one," Levi starts, "is an award ceremony. One of my films is nominated for a few categories, and my presence is required as a formality."

"Congratulations? But then again you're not fond of award ceremonies, are you?" You nearly get up from your seat to give him a hug but refrain from doing so not wanting to cross any boundaries.

"Yeah, I couldn't care less, stupid pricks think they have the authority to judge whose art is superior. It's fucking bullshit" Levi's expression turns sour as he expresses his disdain for the award ceremony.

You sense the bitterness in his words while taking a sip of your tea and savoring the taste with a pleased hum, you realize that the world of awards and recognition might not be as glamorous and fulfilling as it seems. "I get it, awards don't define the value of your work. It's about the impact you make and the stories you tell, but you have to attend so that you gain the recognition you need and deserve, makes sense."

Levi nods in agreement, feeling warmth seeping through him as you are fond of the tea he brewed. "Exactly. Anyway, they're announcing the nominations for soundtracks too so keep an eye out for that."

"Yeah okay, that's cool, but also nerve-wracking" you admit already feeling the anxiety seeping in at the thought of the ceremony.

"Why? Because there are major actors?"

"No, the cameras, the judgments, the expectations, it all feels overwhelming," you reply, a hint of nervousness in your voice.

Levi gives you a side glance sipping on his tea and finishing what's left, his usual stern expression softening just a tad. "If you believe in your work, that's all that matters. They can go to hell with all their opinions."

You smile and nod, his words making sense as you push away any thoughts of negativity that may increase your anxiety. You think of thoughts to push back the unwanted ones and Levi seems to be the perfect solution. You can't help but stare at Levi, busy again with noting stuff down, his handwriting a mix of scribbles and cursives. How his fingers tend to be very pale and dainty, a taint of red on his knuckles from cracking them too much. How his hair falls on his face makes you want to part them away and tuck the strands behind his ears.

He looks up at you, sharp grey eyes boring into yours, eyebrows raised as a defense mechanism against the gaze you've been holding. You quickly avert your eyes and change your gaze, not wanting him to catch on.

"So which one is first and when is it?" you begin, trying to shift the focus back to the matter at hand.

"Family gathering, tomorrow at 7 pm" He answers.

"Tomorrow? You didn't think to give me a week's notice?"

Levi looks at you with a questioning gaze at your mildly surprised tone. "You and a week's notice is the same as a bouncing ball in a minefield, you'd eventually worry yourself to death with your overthinking tendencies."

"Overthinking is true but the meals need more time. so anything I need to know about the gathering, will I be the only non-family there?" you inquired, curious to know how awkward it will be.

"One, the meals are already prepared by a chef I hired. and two, no, one of my cousins, the brat, brings over all of her friends and it becomes a whole noise-fest, so you wouldn't be the only non-family," he explained, annoyance forming on his face as he recalled the headaches he's endured over the years.

You nod, mentally noting the details. "Got it. And the award ceremony?"

Levi glances at his calendar. "That's in two weeks. You'll need to clear your schedule for the whole day because it's far, the event starts in the evening."

"Alright, I'll make sure I'm available, Anything else I should be prepared for?", you reply, thinking about the preparations you'll need to make for both occasions.

Levi shrugs, "Just the usual chitter-chatter film industry shit. Red carpet, photographers, people pretending to be interested in conversations they're having when really they're full of shit."

You nod, "Got it, it's all just a show."

Levi nods as his facial features lightly soften. "More or less, It's all about appearances, which is why I rarely attend these things willingly."

"Okay, so tomorrow at 7 pm but I should come earlier, right? here at your place, no overthinking and I'm guessing the attire is casual?" You ask listing all the things you're required of.

Levi nods, "Casual is fine. Nothing too fancy and nothing too casual Just don't show up in pajamas, and we should be good."

You smirk teasing him a little, "Okay, I'll save the pajamas for the award ceremony then."

"But wait a minute, what's in this for me?" You ask slyly poking at him to see what he might offer you. You need everything he can offer to give you at this point.

Levi relaxes into his chair and crosses his arms, seemingly intrigued by your banter. "What do you mean, what's in it for you?"

You chuckle, enjoying the banter between you two. "Well, I'm doing you a favor by being your plus one. I think I deserve something in return."

Levi gives you a blank stare, the corners of his lips curling slightly. "And what would that something be?"

You pause for dramatic effect and also because you didn't think he'd play along before responding with a sly grin, "Two things, one, you'll call me by my first name, and two, you owe me dinner"

Levi deadpans at your demands, seemingly unamused. "Call you by your first name? That's negotiable. But dinner, you're practically dreaming."

"That's totally fine you can just forever be in debt."

Levi raises an eyebrow at your response, contemplating your proposal. There's a brief moment of silence, and you can almost sense the gears turning in his stoic demeanor. Finally, he lets out a 'tsk fine', a subtle way of saying 'I can't say no to you so do whatever you want'. You are too oblivious to see the stark contrast in Levi's behavior with you and with others, it's basically night and day. He treats you very differently, and though his stoicism remains, there's a peculiar comfort in the way he interacts with you. It's as if your presence manages to crack the surface of his usual 'idgaf' and 'the world bores me' attitude.

So, you like where you are right now, you like how things are going and you never want this chapter in your life to change. You've found a sense of fulfillment in your work, genuine friendships, and an interesting dynamic with Levi.

You're content.

Meanwhile on the other hand...

Eren wakes up disheveled, his hair now shorter and his moustache is long gone, shaved out of existence. He stands in the bathroom, already finished brushing his teeth and water droplets falling down his face, a product of washing his face. He looks at the mirror cabinet, deciding whether or not to take his pills. He decides not to, not being bothered to as he feels there's no point to it.

He doesn't want the stability of his moods or the functionality of his routine to actually work. It doesn't mean anything, at least not anymore.

He has two calendars, one plain white that is normal, he uses it to remember certain dates and important interviews that shape his career. The other calendar is reserved for you, your absence to be exact, he crosses out each day that passes without your captivating presence. Today it’s 4 years, 3 months, and 6 days. Every day at 7, he sits down by his desk, grabs both your calendar and his journal, and just writes how much he regrets what he did that day. He's gone through 7 journals so far and he writes for you, to you, and because of you.

He writes about how much he misses the music that used to fill his house when days were hard and he thought he couldn't get through them. How you were so patient and loving and that you didn't deserve anything that he put you through. He writes what reminds him of you, the tulips that bloom in the spring near his mom's house, the cherry blossoms he came across during his tour to Japan, or the jasmines he was gifted by an Indian fan during his trip there.

Everything comes back to you.

He feels so pathetic, so darn twisted to have said all those things to you, to have pushed you away and the worst part is, he doesn't even know why. He doesn't know whether or not to embrace the memories of your smiles, laughter, and the warmth of your presence or let it haunt him. Eren regrets the days when he let his issues take control and drive you far away from him, the days when he couldn't appreciate the simple joy of your company.

He would give everything to get you back again, but that's selfish of him, he thinks. He wants you to be happy, to live life, and never look back for him. He's torn between wanting you back in his life and acknowledging that it might be better for you to move on. The weight of his actions, the hurt he caused, and the bridge of friendship he destroyed between you and the rest of your friends are heavy burdens he carries.

Connie hates him to this day and rightfully so. So does Jean.

Eren used a recording of Connie that was taken out of context. The day of that recording was on your birthday and Connie was tired of the plain ol' happy birthday surprise because it wasn't surprising anyone. So he took it upon himself to spice things up. He decided that he'd have a fight with you the day before and the day after that he'd make a fake recording of him saying horrible things and once you got upset, he'd apologize and surprise you with your favorite flavored cake. He knew he'd get a few head smacks from you for even thinking about calling you a 'bitch' but all he really wanted was to hand-make the cake with the rest of your friend group and see you eat it half teary-eyed and laughing. But he decided against it after recording the audio, paranoid that it might actually drive you away so he resorted to just the plain non-surprising birthday party.

But no, Eren saved that recording even when Connie had deleted it from his phone. Eren drove you against everyone for mainly one reason, or rather two. Jealousy and insecurity.

Eren hated, he loathed, how you spend time with Jean, he despised how you looked at him with those beautiful eyes of yours, all doe-y and filled with admiration and love. You shouldn't be looking at horse-face like that, it should be him.

Eren believed he deserved your undivided attention, and the idea of you sharing those moments with Jean fuelled his jealousy. The insecurities within him festered, making him resentful of anyone who seemed to be close to you.

In an attempt to have you closer to him, Eren manipulated the situation, using Connie as a pawn in his scheme. The recording, taken out of context, became a weapon that not only hurt you but also fractured their own friendship. Connie, who was genuinely trying to create a memorable surprise, became an unknowing victim of Eren's envious tactics. This showed just how far Eren was willing to go to have you all to himself. He also had another recording of Jean also taken out of context but since he threatened Jean that he'd tell you everything, Jean thought it would be better to come out on his own terms.

But it all backfired. The fallout from his actions left a trail of broken friendships and severed ties. The fallout was severe. Connie was hurt and betrayed, harbored deep resentment towards Eren, rarely ever talking to him unless it was urgent. Connie's initial reaction was worse, first, he took it as a joke and brushed Jean off when he told him everything, and then when he entered your room to look for you, everything was wiped, your closets were empty, your gaming setup that was right next to his was completely clean, only the table remained and all Connie could see was red causing a huge fight between him and Eren.

Jean, too, felt the sting of betrayal as Eren's actions caused you to forever leave and leave them swimming in regret not only driving a wedge between friends but also leaving a lasting scar on the trust and happiness that existed between the entire friend group.

To say that they all miss you would be a heavy understatement. It's like you took away the sunshine and left them in a never-ending gloomy day. It's not the same without your crazy laughter and the way you made even the boring stuff fun. Everything's just kind of off now, and they can't shake the feeling that things got messed up for no good reason.

In the dead of night, when everything's quiet, each of them thinks about the good times and how quickly things went south. There's this heavy feeling of 'what if' hanging in the air, 'What if I never created that recording' 'What if I never told her how I truly felt about her in the past, would that have changed her decision' 'what if i didn't exist'. Eren especially can't get over the fact that he let someone as wonderful as you slip away for his own self-centered and insecure reasons.

Life moves on, yes, but it doesn't seem so in this context. Everything feels so dull, they don't have fun anymore, no one laughs genuinely, it's very awkward. Everyone wonders where you went, where you've been, how you are, if you're happy at least, and that if you are then they're happy too but they're still figuring out how to fix the mess. Your absence is this big, annoying elephant in the room. If your absence has taught them something it's that they should try to appreciate the people around them. Your absence is like a neon sign saying, "Don't fuck up."

Back to the present day time, Eren gets a text from Mikasa and he doesn't want to open it but does so that he doesn't get manhandled and thrown across the backyard.

Mikasa: get ready and be there me and auntie are already in the car driving

Mikasa: the address for the gathering is [Street Address/PO BOX], dress well pls

He groans into his pillow. Another stupid gathering, he thought he could get away from this year's gathering by traveling to America, a country where Mikasa's relatives aren't scattered around but no, the host of this year's gathering is Levi and he lives in America and specifically in the same state he traveled to. Eren can't even begin to express his annoyance. It's almost like the entire universe is against him not attending and he's not even related to anyone there. Why does he have to go, he thinks? Social events are the bane of his existence, ironic considering his whole career relies on interacting with people (fans).

Eren contemplates ignoring the text and pretending he never saw it. Maybe he can come up with a convincing excuse, like a sudden illness or something lame like 'I accidentally leaked the address, fans everywhere'. But he knows Mikasa too well – her persistence is unmatched. Ignoring her texts would only escalate the situation and so he responds with a 'fine, got it'.

He tosses his phone aside and stares at the ceiling. The prospect of facing another family gathering fills him with dread. It's not the family part that bothers him; it's the forced interactions, the fake smiles, and the constant questioning about his personal life. Resigned, he starts thinking about what to wear, already dreading the inevitable awkwardness that awaits him.

Eren makes sure to dress casually, opting for a comfortable yet presentable look. He styles his hair with a bit more care than usual, not wanting to appear too disheveled. As a final touch, he puts on his best cologne, he doesn't know why, but he feels compelled to dress properly, look proper, and act proper.

Almost as if there's something, or rather someone that's going to present tonight, that's worth impressing...

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

You woke up at 10 am and left for Levi's house at 1 pm, giving yourself a few good 6 hours to prepare everything. Levi insisted that you didn't need to come so early and that he's already setting up everything but you like these kinds of things so you tell him it's fine. He tells you to utilize the catering staff he hired and leave their job to them but you refuse. It's a 'family' gathering, it should have bits and pieces of his personality embedded into his effort as well.

You couldn't find some grey cutlery so you bought what you could find which happened to be some colorful plates to Levi's dismay but you promised him that you'd keep them and it wouldn't stay in his house for more than a few days. He sighs a 'tch' at you that you don't think much of. You waste no time and get to work immediately, unpacking the bags and organizing the items you bought. The colorful plates you've chosen might not match Levi's monochromatic taste, but you believe they add a lively touch to the gathering.

You proceed with setting up the dining area and arranging the colorful plates alongside the other tableware. The clash of colors against the neutral backdrop creates a unique aesthetic, one that you find oddly satisfying. Levi also starts his part in cleaning, which doesn't take long as he cleans his house on a regular basis.

The catering staff, initially unsure about your decisions, follows your lead. As you continue to work, Levi observes silently, occasionally offering input or preferences. Despite the clash of styles, a subtle understanding begins to fold and everyone likes the outcome of the collaboration between the expertise of the staff and your knowledge of Levi's tastes.

After a few good hours, everything is set and you go change from your 'helping out' clothes to your casual clothes for the event. The catering staff bid their goodbye and Levi takes a seat in the living room.

It is now 6:00 and Levi's mom and uncle arrive, you can hear their chatter from upstairs, a booming laugh can be heard and you assume it's his uncle. You've never been more nervous in your life. 'How should you greet them?' 'What if you look too casual' 'What if you say something wrong' are all the negative thoughts flowing through your mind right now. You take a deep breath, brush them aside, and head downstairs and you immediately happen to lock eyes with his mom, she sits on the couch with an amazing posture while Levi and his uncle bicker at the door. You wonder how Levi greeted his mom, too bad you missed it.

She looks so ethereal, with long healthy black hair flowing nicely with the white dress she's wearing, and her facial features are soft and delicate, she looks like the kindest person ever, she radiates this sort of 'welcome' feeling. As if she'll accept you in your arms, sinner or priest.

You snap out of it, stopping the gawking, and continue to walk up to her. She instantly smiles and gets up from the couch.

"Who is this young pretty lady?" Levi's mom exclaims with a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with genuine curiosity. You feel a mix of relief and nervousness as you extend a hand towards her.

"Hello Ma'am, I'm [Name]," you say, trying to match her warmth. "I'm a friend and co-worker of Levi's. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Ma'am?" She laughs a hearty laugh and pats you gently on the shoulders "Sweetie, there's no need to be so formal, You can just call me Kuchel"

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Kuchel" you reply, not bringing yourself to call someone much older than you by just their first name.

"You're a cheeky lady, aren't you?" Kuchel jokes with you, giving you an affectionate smile and you finally understand what the term 'girl crush' means because you've never been so positively intimidated by someone's elegance and stance. She urges you to sit down when in reality you should be the one urging her to sit down and making her feel comfortable.

Levi and his uncle also come by to sit down before he introduces himself to you.

"How's it going, little lady? I'm Kenny. I'm this kid's uncle, regrettably" he says with a smirk, causing Levi to roll his eyes and Kuchel to slap his arm playfully.

"Hello, I'm [Name], I work alongside Levi and we're also friends." Levi glances at you to see if you're uncomfortable in any way, he's good at reading people and you seem, relaxed and not tense as he predicted you'd be. He mentally nods at that and reminds himself to glance at you every now and then.

Kuchel smiles warmly at you. "It's wonderful to have you here, [Name]. I'm glad he's becoming friends with coworkers, he usually never does that"

"Mom, I'm 28, stop talking about me like I'm 15" Levi groans at the embarrassment, hands digging into his face.

"You're still my baby boy, no matter how old you get." She retorts, moving closer to him to pinch his cheeks and coddle him.

You coo at the rare sight, of Levi crossing his arms while his mother hugs him and strokes his hair, it's obvious Levi loves the affection his mother gives him, his fond smile gives it away no matter how grey his eyes look.

His uncle also seems to enjoy the sight, smiling a faint one as he catches you observing him. He flashes you a wink before looking back at the scene. You feel less tense now, feeling more welcome with the whole atmosphere.

It's now 7:15 and the first batch of relatives come out of a minivan, you smile and they somehow hug you as if you're a part of the family, one elderly woman asks if you're Levi's other half and you can't help but stutter on your words as you form incoherent sentences you later resort to shaking your head as a form of no.

It's now 8:15, an hour has passed and everyone is eating their starters, you look at the lively atmosphere and you feel so warm inside, everyone knows one another and everyone treats you like a relative, you feel like you belong before the doorbell rings again and you tell them that you'll go get it.

Nothing could've prepared you for who was behind that door.

You quickly open the door and get your clothing stuck on the handle of the door by opening it too quickly. You manage to say your hellos but your focus is on the door, trying to get out of this embarrassing situation.

"[Name], What’re you doing here?" a voice asks and you think it's Kuchel but once you finally get your clothing unstuck from the door and look up at the new batch of guests, you're astronomically wrong.

It's Carla, It's Carla Jaeger.

You've never thought you'd see Carla of all people here, you think you're hallucinating and that the presence of Kuchel may have triggered your longing for the mother figure who treated you like you were her daughter.

But no, it's actually Carla. How could this be and why? She's standing in front of the door with a fluffy scarf and a huge coat that hides her actual outfit. She stares at you with sadness in her eyes, but then Kuchel shouts 'Carla come in' which makes you snap out of it and open the door so that she may enter. She does so and as you try to close the door she tells you that..

"There's one more person"

And cue the anxiety, panic, and dread. You look at her, confused and worried. Carla immediately embraces you with a tight hug, as if seeking comfort or offering it, you're not sure. She cups your face gently, looking into your eyes with a mixture of affection and sorrow.

"[Name], You've grown up."

Carla whispers, her voice a mixture of sorrow and longing. The memories flood back – the warmth of her hugs, the wisdom in her advice, and the unconditional love she showered upon you. The times she'd teach you how to bake and you'd end up messing the whole thing up and she'd laugh at you while teasing.

"You look more refined" she continues, her gaze filled with a motherly pride. Carla steps back, holding your shoulders as she examines you. "But the same twinkle in your eyes remains."

"Thank you, Auntie" you reply not knowing what else, a pang of guilt heaving in your heart as you mentally embrace yourself for the person who accompanied her as the doorbell rings again.

please don't be eren, please don't be eren, please don't be eren

This is what you keep chanting in your mind as Carla gestures towards the door, indicating that you should answer it. As you open the door, you're met with the face of the person who accompanied her.

It's not Eren. Thank God

It's Mikasa.

You mentally smack yourself on the head, how could you have not known? Mikasa Ackerman, Levi Ackerman. What more clues did you need? A big red billboard?

Mikasa carries two baskets of what seems to be treats for everyone at the family gathering. She doesn’t seem to notice you since you're practically hiding behind the door as she goes forward to set the gifts down at the kitchen island and give greetings to her relatives.

Taking your invisibility to her as an advantage, you close the door not wanting the cold to get into the warmed house, and wonder where you should go and you decide you’ll go upstairs to get some fresh air, calm your nerves, and focus on the priority here.

You run up the stairs and go to the nearest bathroom, you’re pacing around not knowing what to do. You think let’s rewind a bit.

Now we know that Mikasa is related to Levi, check. Does that guarantee that anyone else who you’ve left behind could also be here, no. But why is Carla here then?

And that’s where you’re stumped. You have no clue. And you don’t want this to ruin your image with the people you just met, for you to just run off out of nowhere because someone you know is in the same room as you. You’re not like this, this is the anxiety talking. So what know them? Say your hellos and look the other way, it’s very simple.

You slap your face gently as if to beat the words into your face, that’s until you hear a booming noise from downstairs, it sounds like someone is cheering. Anyways, you think, let’s get back to this gathering. Whoever comes, came and whoever is not present well then that’s a win for us.

And with that you head downstairs, slowly observing the table where everyone is seated at, Levi with his armed crosses, Kuchel with her hand on his head, Kenny bored out of his mind and Carla exchanging smiles with Kuchel. The other relatives seem to chatter among themselves.

You quickly head down the stairs and grab a plate to get yourself some food. Carla comes along behind you, she follows what you do, also grabbing a plate and putting food on her plate.

“So how has life been treating you, [Name]?”

She asks, genuine curiosity flowing through her voice, you look at her and put your plate down to show some respect and talk to her.

“It’s going great, I’m graduating in a few weeks.” You reply, observing her features, she hasn’t changed a bit, she looks just as comforting as before. She smiles at that and pats your back.

“I’m proud of you sweetie. You deserve everything good in this life and the next”

You smile and hug her abruptly, the connection you had with Carla was unmatched, nothing could top that and you just feel so guilty for not telling her anything beforehand.

“Listen, [Name], As a mother, I need to apologize.” You look at her confused and she continues with heavy words. “I never got the chance to apologize to you for Eren’s behavior that day, if I double-checked whether or not he took his medication, perhaps this wouldn’t have become the outcome.”

“Auntie, this is in no way your fault. This was my decision, I’d like to think that either way, I would’ve left. It’s just the terms I left on could’ve been improved, but that’s also my fault. I just combined everyone in the same category as Eren and left without further notice. That’s a fault on my part.”

"Nonsense, none of this could ever be your fault." She smiles and pats your cheek,“The ever so kind [Name], you have a heart pure as the driven snow.”

You appreciate her words but can't shake the feeling that you could have handled things differently. All the guilt and regret start pouring in, you've left so many people under the assumption that they hated you, Carla was one of them, you thought that if her son despised you enough to hurt you, then what would be stopping her?

Carla seems to sense your troubled self so she takes it upon herself to make the mood more friendly and less soggy with regret. She's seen how regretful both you and Eren look and it's so dreadful as his mother and as someone who cares about you. She tries to lighten his mood up, take him to places where serotonin may be boosted, and engage with him in activities that liven things up, but to no avail. Eren was stuck in a trance of regret.

Carla wishes she could ask you to at least talk with Eren or sort things out with him. Her motherly side worried about the wellbeing of her son but she can't bring herself to do so, it's too much on you and selfish of her.

"My kitchen is in good shape, I know for a fact that it has missed your mishaps," Carla says with a playful glint in her eyes, attempting to bring a smile to your face.

"Mishaps? More like nuclear testings" you respond with a chuckle, appreciating Carla's effort to lighten the mood. Her warm demeanor and easygoing nature make you feel more at ease, at least for the moment.

Kuchel calls Carla over once more, she has a glass of red wine and she seems like she has lots of things to catch up with her. Carla gives you a nod before heading over to her and taking her plate of food on the way.

You take a moment to collect yourself, glancing around the room. Levi is engaged in a conversation with his uncle Kenny and Mikasa is on her phone. You take this as an opportunity to clean the dishes, left by the guests as they head to the living room to watch a sitcom together.

It's now 8:50. it's almost two hours past the intended time, you can let out a deep sigh of relief. No one else is coming and everyone here is sleeping here for the night. Washing the dishes calms your nerves and you feel more relaxed, you hope that Mikasa stays on her phone and does not notice you. That'd be great, but the chances of someone not noticing another in a 'family gathering' are very low. She'll probably notice one way or another.

You finish the dishes, dry your hands, and allow the families to enjoy their own company. You, however, make your way to the small seating area, opposite to the door. You grab a book from the shelf and start reading, taking your mind off all this.

In the process, 20 minutes have passed and it's now 9:30, you giggle at the book, you never knew Levi was into comedy like this, half the books on the shelf are comedy and satire books. You put a hand over your mouth to conceal your chuckles as you continue reading. The sound of laughter and conversations from the living room serves as a comforting backdrop. Despite the initial nervousness, being immersed in Levi's world, even if just through his book collection, brings a sense of belonging.

Until the doorbell rings once more.

You're on the other side of the room so it'll take a bit longer for you to open it but as soon as you get up, Mikasa is running to the door to open it. Why would she be running when she was on her phone the entire time? You're just standing there a bit confused at who it is and why 2 hours after the initial time.

Mikasa opens the door and the room suddenly turns into an incoherent noise factory. You can't see who it is because they immediately hug Mikasa but you'd recognize that grey hair anywhere.

It's Connie and behind him are Jean, Sasha, Historia, Ymir, and Reiner.

Mikasa steps back, breaking the hug, and the noise reaches a peak as everyone starts talking at once. Connie, always the ball of energy, is the first to greet everyone, Levi leaves him hanging on his fist bump and he doesn't mind as he goes on to greet everybody else.

You don't dare move from your spot continuing reading your book hoping to stay unnoticed in your little corner of the room. As everyone continues their greetings and catching up, you bury yourself in the book, pretending to be engrossed in the words on the pages. You hear Historia apologizing for being late as the roads were blocked due to snow.

The minutes pass, and you start to believe that your plan to remain inconspicuous is working. That is until you hear a familiar voice entering the room, and a chill runs down your spine. The voice is unmistakable, and dread creeps in as you hope it's just a figment of your imagination.

Eren stands there awkwardly, pathetically fidgeting with his hands as he mumbles 'Sorry I'm late'. Kuchel hugs him and playfully pinches his cheeks and he shyly averts his gaze down. You take this as a small chance to observe him from the peek of your book.

He grew a bit taller, his hair was styled to a fashionable degree, and his face was glowing although his eyes seemed dark from his eyebags as if he hadn't been getting much sleep. His azure eyes aren't as dull as you last saw them, they're still a bit dull but the color stands out more. He looks disconnected from the rest of his friends and Mikasa pulls his arm to bring him closer.

You should've picked a more discreet place but then again why should you be hiding, it's just a coincidence that all of you happen to be reunited here. However you don't want any drama, you contemplate leaving through the back door and telling Levi something urgent came up but you don't want to let him down and there's no point in doing so if you so claim to have forgotten about them, meeting them, saying hello and disappearing again shouldn't be so hard. Maybe, just maybe, you can enjoy the evening without the complication of facing them. The minutes tick by, and your hope grows. Perhaps, for once, fate is on your side.

It's as if everything is happening in slow motion, the laughter of Carla and Kuchel, Connie play fighting with Levi's uncle and Historia chatting to the elderly family members. You glance once more from between the book and you see that their attention is elsewhere. You get a text from your roommate who happens to tell you that all the roads are blocked due to a snowstorm in the area and wondering if you're safe.

you: yes i'm fine, are you at home?

claudia: yeah, it seems like you have to stay where you are until the snow dies down, don't try to go anywhere, kay?

You seem worried a bit, wondering if your friends are also at home and not outside, you check the news and it calmly urges anyone and everyone who is outside to get inside and people who are inside to stay inside.

you: damn, it looks bad out there, how's everyone, are they all inside?? i can't get through to them.

claudia: [one attachment], we're fine, see u at home tmrw. stay safe!!

You open the attachment to see all of your friends huddling in the room, windows closed and all in oodies giving the camera a big thumbs up and smiling.

You smile at that, responding with an 'okay' and sighing a deep breath as all of your friends are safe. You're convinced the universe is against you, making you trapped in a house with people you want to run away from. You can't stand the anxiety that comes with it, you put the book down and hear the distant chatters of Levi's family members telling each other about the news as they put on the news channel.

You need a drink, you think to yourself. You quietly slip away from your corner, avoiding making any noise as you make your way to the kitchen. The distant chatter and laughter follow you, but you try to drown it out. You open the fridge, and fortunately, there's an array of beverages. You grab a bottle of water, thinking that's probably a safer choice but then you put it back as wine seems like a better option in this situation.

While you're being indecisive, it seems that someone else has entered the kitchen, they have their back to you, and you see the mini man bun and immediately know it's Eren. He hasn't noticed you yet, he thinks you're just a random family member also in the kitchen, choosing some snacks, but he has trouble finding the cork opener for the wine bottle he's about to open. He can't go back and ask Levi in front of everyone because he knows his mom. will scold him for trying to drink. So he resorts to asking a stranger, you, instead to save him that trouble.

"um, excuse me?" He starts looking at your back as you attempt to leave the kitchen stealthily, sneaking quietly past the cabinets and stuffing your face in one of them. You freeze at the sound of Eren's voice. The last thing you wanted was to become involved in his search for a corkscrew. In an attempt to avoid the impending interaction, you continue pretending to browse the snacks.

"Excuse me," he repeats, a touch of frustration in his voice.

You debate whether to respond or slip away unnoticed. The room suddenly feels smaller, you feel claustrophobic and you wish you had chosen a different place to hide from the social storm. I mean, why would you go to the kitchen when they just arrived on an empty stomach?

Eren decides to approach you, still unaware of your identity, he lightly taps you on your shoulder. "Do you know where the corkscrew is?" he asks, coming up beside you and you swear this feels like a scene straight out of a Kdrama, one of those awkward side-character interactions that you'd rather avoid. Panic sets in, and you need to think and act quickly. Holding your breath, you contemplate the best course of action.

Escape seems like a tempting option. You scold yourself for feeling afraid and decide that avoiding unnecessary drama is your priority. Without turning around to face him, you respond vaguely, slightly changing your voice.

"I think I saw it near the sink," gesturing vaguely in that direction.

You sigh a loud deep breath as he heads in that direction but immediately suck it back in. As you are walking backward, you bump into someone, you pray it's someone you don't know but by reflex, you turn around to see who you bumped into and come face to face with a groaning Connie. He has his hand on his arm after he hits it on the corner of the wall and looks up at you only to have the annoyance etched on his face disappear within a millisecond.

He stands there speechless, unable to say your name, unable to even understand the whole situation, is it real? or did he play fight with Kenny a bit too hard? He can't do anything but stand there. He takes you in, every part of you and it finally hits him like a wave of strong tides. He missed you so badly, all this time, he never truly understood how much your absence affected him. The sight of you, the sound of your voice as you mutter a small 'oh', the simple act of bumping into you – it's a flood of emotions he tried to suppress.

"Hello and sorry."

Is all you say, in a monotone voice, a stark contrast to the emotional whirlwind that's taking place within you. You grab a packet of chips and purposefully move away, creating a physical distance between the two of you. You move behind him because behind you is Eren opening a bottle of wine and glancing at the whole accident, still oblivious.

Connie scoffs at your attitude, he's immediately snapped out of his trance and feels the need to confront you. You haven't even bothered to hear his side of the story, or given him a chance to explain and it's so fucking annoying.

"Sorry for bumping into me or sorry for going no contact for like half a decade, hm?" he questions, his tone carrying a mix of sarcasm and genuine hurt. The confrontation hangs in the air, and you can feel the weight of his unspoken emotions.

You want to retort back but you know that this will just lead to confrontation on a wide scale and you don't want to ruin Levi's hard work. So you ignore him and go back to sitting down on your small chair in the corner and Connie can't believe you're actually acting like this. He watches you leave to sit down on a small chair and he's so pissed. He glances at Eren who seems to be in his own world, scrolling on his phone and drinking his wine and suddenly Connie feels like starting a fight because Eren's nonchalant attitude irks him. But he refrains, he has something else to do, something better. Connie takes the opportunity to shift the attention to the living room. He interrupts Sasha's karaoke performance in front of the TV, grabbing the microphone with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Guys, I know someone with a much better voice in this house, so who wants to listen to some real music?" He declares and Sasha pouts but lets go of the microphone. This causes Jean to tell him to stop being so rowdy and sit down. He shakes his head telling them 'You guys don't want to miss out, I promise' and they seem a bit curious at his offer, wanting to know who it is.

You think he's already gone, ignoring you as well since he never liked you in your memory so you take a breath of fresh air and continue reading while glancing at Eren who drinks the wine slowly while scrolling on his phone, replying to texts from his manager asking him on his opinion of certain costumes. He looks dreadful you almost pity him.

"It's [Name]" Connie announces, and there's a mix of surprise and curiosity that spreads among the family members. One, because half of them didn't know you could sing and the other half is reactions from Carla who knows where this is going and connected the dots, and Jean and the rest because they had no idea that you're here, so they scoff at him and tell him to stop playing.

"Come see for yourself, then" He taunts and now everyone is really confused.

Eren hears your name being said and his head immediately perks up from his distracted state. He sets down the wine glass, his eyes narrowing as he searches the room for confirmation. He goes to the living room to see a glimpse of your face but you're not there. He then proceeds to return back to his spot disappointed but stops in his tracks as he sees you, sitting down on a small chair right behind the table he was drinking wine at. He's not like Connie, he stares at you with guilt in his eyes, you know you can't hide behind your book for so long so you set it down and look at him with an annoyed gaze as Connie and the others also turn around the corner of the kitchen, surprised to see you there.

Eren feels.. weird, he feels so pathetic, he feels like he’s gonna cry any minute now, going to full-on sob in front of everyone. Your annoyed gaze tells him everything he needs to know, he wants to fall on his knees and grovel, wants to tell you he'd do everything and anything to make it up to you, he places a hand on his mouth, almost to stop himself from revealing the overwhelming emotions threatening to spill out.

Everyone else seems to look at you with the same gaze, regret, confusion, guilt, surprise. Connie, crosses his arms, half pissed at you for what happened but also happy now that he knows you've been okay, Eren looks troubled like he doesn't know where to start, Mikasa has this face on that you can't read, Historia is in a state of surprise, Jean doesn't believe his eyes and Sasha and Ymir are so confused.

You don't know how to feel, you hate how everyone just put you on the spot, how you are indirectly ruining Levi's first time hosting this gathering, but most of all, you hate how much their presence affects you.

You don't do much but look outside at the snowstorm, and then tension grows higher and tighter with each second, you hate how they look at you like you are some animal in an enclosure, like a performer and people are patiently waiting for your next trick, it feels too awkward and makes it hard to breathe, you can't help but wonder if somehow standing in the snowstorm seems like a better option than standing in the storm brewing inside this house.

notes: first things first, thank you all for reading the part 1, I really appreciate it and to those who interacted, hope that nothing inconveniences you ever again in your life!! emphasis on ever. so here's to part two, crazy how it's 9K because I remember my milestone being 5K so how I got here is honestly mindblowing. I'm glad you liked my plot, I thought it might've been weirdly put but it seems not. so I hope you enjoy this one as well and let me know if you also want a part 3, I kind of left it on a cliffhanger...

divider credit: @hitobaby

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g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e · 7 days

Text

PT1 "Cause you know we're the same, there's worse things I can take"

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆synopsis: Eren attacks you verbally when you and jean came to check up on him after he went no contact for a while.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆contains: modern au! everyone, toxic!eren, mean!eren, too-kind!reader, toxic friends.

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆wc: 3.0K

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆tw: toxic everyone, connie wishes reader was dead. swearing. not proofread

⋆｡˚୨୧˚｡⋆ Part 2 over here and Part 3 over here

242.

that's how many items were discarded all over the floor, bed, on top of curtains, near the toilet, on the kitchen shelf.

You can't even begin to look at the kitchen, dishes look like they've been in there for a decade, mold growing on them as you observe the living conditions of your struggling friend.

"What the fuck" Jean exclaims as he enters the apartment behind you and immediately retches at the smell, blocking the foul scent of the room with his elbow before it seems to take a toll on him and he says,

"Nah, I can't do this shit, 'm sorry" and heads out of the door bolting from the stench. He shouts from outside the door that he'd stand outside and that "he's got it from here" You chuckle at that and head further into the apartment.

The smell is none of your concern as you look around for signs of Eren, afraid that any sort of negative emotion might cause him to lash out and feel bad about everything. Everyone goes through phases in their life and this right here, happened to be his extreme low. Locking himself away from everyone and everything, it seems that he no longer cared about his well being seeing the stature of his home.

So this must be the reason

You think to yourself as none of your phone calls have gone through ever since you went on a small school two-week trip. You'd inquire about this to Mikasa, who'd always relay the same message to you.

Everything’s fine

Which happens to be ironic due to the state of how Eren is, both physically and mentally. You finally catch sight of him lying in a fetal position in the bathroom of the apartment. He's shirtless, only with sweatpants that look as rugged as sweatpants could ever be. His hair seems longer, almost past shoulder length. He seems to be shaking?

You head over and crouch next to him, disregarding everything gross in your view, that didn't matter right now, he did. You slowly poke his arm to grab his attention and he mutters something under his breath. something incoherent. You try to ask him what he said but as if on cue, he replies.

"Please leave y/n. I don't want you to see me like this" Eren emphasises the word you which makes your heart warm a little, but little did you know..

You get where he's coming from but you pay it no mind and rub his back soothingly trying to comfort him as much as you can.

"In my eyes, in the end, you are just the Eren I know" You reply, sitting down next to him, now stroking his hair to get him to look up at you as his head was buried down in his knees in a way to block you out.

"c'mon, let's get you all better" you urge, gently pulling his arm to get off the floor avoiding words that address the situation currently, that can be set aside for later.

He harshly tugs his arm back and continues in the buckled position, it startles you a bit, he's never used force, not even indirectly. You once again shrug it off and crouch near him tucking away strands of his hair away from his face to see him clearly but he remains locked in the position, heads in his knees.

"Eren, trust me, I don't see you any differently than before, not now, not ever," you assure him, trying to clarify that as much as you can.

And with that, he starts laughing, maniacally. Chest heaving up and down with his laughs, you step back confused and honestly a bit scared, thoughts running with a million different theories that you may have said something wrong, or stepped on a mine in a minefield.

You shakily let out a whisper of his name, a silent question towards his weird sudden behaviour and he finally looks up from position. He looks indescribably tired, with dark circles almost permanent on his skin, and beautiful azure eyes dimmed to a dark greyish soulless colour and weirdly enough he's grown a little moustache. He wears a smile on his face, a crazy smile, almost as if he's about to unleash everything that's been tormenting him.

His laughter dies down into chuckles as he begins standing to face you at eye level. His eyes portray an emotion of disgust and hatred? no, no, that doesn't make any sense, you didn't do anything but help.

"The reason I don't want you to see me like this is because you don't deserve to. You're fucking pathetic, y/n" He begins and you already want to close your ears to block out the impending doom he's about to throw at you. He runs a hand through his hair and smiles a very dark smirk almost as if he's proud of what he's about to say.

"Eren, what's going on, this isn't funny" you relay to him, clear that you don't like whatever he's doing.

"No, but you know what is funny? the fact that you think you're this angel who comes to rescue us and give us a hand when everything goes wrong all in the name of 'friendship'" You're confused as fuck, not knowing what trigged this attack on you, you don't know where he's going with this and you're damn sure don't like it. He walks closer to you causing you to take a step back each time, not fond of the glint in his eyes.

"But in reality, you're just this pathetic stuck-up lowlife who seeks approval in everything that moves because poor little y/n didn't get attention from her pwecious father" He mocks never halting his steps as he walks and walks until you're backed against a wall. You can't believe the words you're hearing, did he do drugs?, because this seems nothing like him. Sure you could excuse the first two sentences but his words dig hard at you. It's almost as if he's purposefully trying to aim at your weak spots to get you hurt.

"Don’t tell me you actually thought we liked you, sweetheart?"

He continues laughing but more quietly this time, never stopping walking towards you and you swear you see the way his eyes glint changed at the drop of your tears that escaped your eye traveling down to your cheek from hatred to sorrow. You never meant to cry, and you never do, you always did it alone, and even in silent moments where it was just you and the wind, you couldn’t bring yourself to cry, scared of being vulnerable. But he hit so hard that you're unconsciously crying, as if your heart can't stand the words and wants to burst open from your chest and sob on the ground.

"Must be an idiot then, so fucking dense of you honestly. I thought you'd realize that we only kept you around because you’re tolerable." There's no stopping the tears, you've accepted that you can't stop them but you'll be damned if you don't speak up and put him in his place. The way he words his venom-laced attack makes everything even worse, as he makes it seem like you’re a pet and not an actual human being.

“Yeah, that’s right. Even that dumbass Connie doesn’t like you and that’s so fucking rich because he likes everyone!” Eren exclaims hands in the air as if he’s so bewildered that you never noticed this. Your expression morphs into a confused one because that’s obviously a lie. You and Connie are good friends, you are roommates, you sometimes help him out with his YouTube ideas and you share everything and Eren seems to acknowledge your disbelief and quickly grabs his phone from the rugged couch.

“Oh, you’re gonna love this one, for sure.” He says searching for something on his phone as he can’t wait to prove you wrong. He seems to have found it and placed it right in your face. Playing the recording audio from the date that says [00/00/0000], your birthday.

Man, I can’t fucking stand y/n, like I get that she has her own ideas but does she fucking think I’m gonna let her dictate my passion. What a bitch. Fuck dude, sometimes I wish she was dead, life would be less depressing. But noooo, I have to celebrate her stupid birthday and sacrifice my precious time for a bitch.

You start laughing, amazed at how everything was so blatantly obvious as you start to remember all the incidents you brushed away because you deemed ‘you were taking things too personally’ but your gut was right, no one likes you. And with this, it was clear, that you had no place, no belonging, in this particular friend group. All those times they acted mean and disguised it as playful joking and ‘this is how all friends treat each other, cheer up’. You were so fucking blind. You should be thanking Eren for opening your eyes to this truth not blaming him for hurting you. You idiot.

“Do you get it now, y/n?” He asks as you finally look up from the ground and into his eyes. His eyes have changed again, they look like they’re filled with lust? As if you were having an intimate moment and this was totally normal. As if everything was fine.

“Yeah, thanks,” you say, deciding to not show any more weakness in front of him. He doesn’t deserve your vulnerability, he doesn’t deserve to have your expectations of comfort, he’s not your friend…. anymore.

"Don’t thank me, you're such a fucking.." he scoffs as he waves his finger around as if looking for the word.

"You can stop now" is all you can mutter and even that comes across with a strained voice. This wasn't Eren. Or perhaps it is but you were too delusional and made up your own version of an actual human being.

"Doormat" he finishes.

And with that, you push him back and call for Jean, who happens to stand outside scrolling on his phone. Jean, startled by the sudden noise, runs inside, scared shitless by how hurt that scream sounded. It felt as if it came from a place of such deep agony and aching.

"Yeah, well guess what y/n? he’s no better, he feels the exact same way as we all do, will you also try to steal him too?" He smirks, hinting at something the both of you know about. He's suggesting that you'll steal him because Mikasa has a long-time crush on Jean. The look on Eren's face is pure evil as he watches the tears fall from your face and your face morphs into a 'how could you' and 'I would never' expression.

Jean examines the scene, sees you crying, and immediately thinks the worst.

"Did you fucking touch her, Jaeger?"

"He didn't" you manage, wiping the tears from your face, not wanting to create any more tension between the two men. "I'm fine, I'm just being dramatic"

"No, no. Tell him why you called him for" Eren instigates crossing his arms, making his muscles flex, and leaning against the couch.

You glare at him, hating the way he says your name, and smirks as if y’all are having small talk. You can’t describe how you’re feeling, you decide to push back everything you feel at this moment to the very back of your head. You need to hear him out first.

“Eren here says that you can’t stand me,” you say looking at Jean to see any change of expression in his eyes and you do. His eyes falter for a bit before switching back to normalcy.

“Is that true?” You continue finishing off your question.

Jean looks down almost as if he doesn’t know how to answer the question. As if there’s some sort of truth to what Eren said. You can’t believe this, this must be some sort of vivid sick nightmare filled with your greatest insecurities- being tolerable.

“Listen y/n. Everyone has their own opinions, right? Sure I didn’t like you back then when you were too clingy and you joined in every single conversation and made yourself belong in places you clearly didn’t.” He starts and you swear you begin hating yourself. You just came here early to help Eren out with his apartment problem and his mental issues, all you wanted was the best for him, for all of them. But now you just had to find out that they all hate you. Every single one of them, and it’s all your fault. What should you do? Beg for them to like you back? Get on your knees and sacrifice your dignity and self-respect if you ever had any? No, you decide, you’ve had enough.

“But now I see the beauty in that, I really came to like you, I like how caring you are, how kind and beautiful you are. How you treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are, how they look, their background, or their flaws. You accept everyone and try to love them within their cracks, you pick them apart gently and lovingly sew them back together. You truly are wonderful and I misjudged you.” Jean finishes and Eren scoffs in between his sentences giving him a nasty side eye before commenting. Eren hates how this dumbass makes himself see better in this situation when he's just bad, all he wants from you is your sexual appeal.

“She’s not gonna let you hit, horse face. So how about you stop the whole act” Eren growls at Jean's attempt of saving any ounce of relationship with you.

“Y/n, I swear I didn’t lie,” Jean says completely ignoring Eren’s comment and looking for any sign of forgiveness on your face. He realises the severity of the situation, and wants to tell you more to convince you that he'd never think that way.

You’ve had enough. You’re tired of not being loved, tired of waiting for people to see that you are special, that you deserve everything good in this world. That you are y/n and that if others can’t seem to love you, that’s on them, they missed out. You promise internally to yourself that you will NOT ever be just tolerable, and that if you ever make friends again, they’d have to know that upfront, and that you won’t settle for being treated as some sort of doormat. You are lovable, cherishable, and treasurable and just because some stupid friend group you were a part of for the entirety of your childhood doesn’t think so doesn’t change those facts. They don’t deserve you.

“You didn’t realize shit, Kirstein” you begin and Jean is taken aback by the use of his last name, no one uses his last name to address him. It feels like you’re trying to sever all ties with him as if you want to go back to when you were strangers and he hates that, he hates this feeling.

“All of you are fucking knuckleheads, and I don’t give a fuck whether or not you like me because I liked you!” You shout, anger flowing through your veins as you point at Eren and he looks unfazed.“ I liked you and that’s all that matters, I made the decision to ignore everything y’all did because I cherished you. And if that doesn’t show something to you about who I am, then my god, you are fucking blind” you continue wanting to get everything off your chest.

“Not one sane human being would ever tolerate this behavior from people they love, people they consider their beloved, people they cherish. Because love goes both ways. You treating me like shit, says that y’all ain’t worth my time. Not me ain’t worth yours. Y’all fucked up, and you did it big time.”

“It’s so funny how selfless I am, I came here early from my constant worry for the last month on a trip that I was looking forward to SO much only to immediately come back early to check up on your wellbeing and get this treatment”

“I want you to remember this clearly, Jaeger” you warn taking steps closer to him to point in his face as he rolls his eyes and leans against the wall, still unfazed.

“This will be the last time I take shit from anyone, not even from you. I held you so close to my heart, convinced myself that this was just how you were, plain mean, boring ol’ Jaeger. But fuck that shit and most importantly fuck y’all”

You observe the room around you, the only person who actually realizes the severity of the situation is Jean. He has his head down fidgeting with his phone which seems chipped from the side when you abruptly yelled his name before. Eren scoffs and rolls his eyes at everything you say, he looks straight at you in your eyes as if he’s in the right. You laugh quietly, amazed at how everything turned out. You walk towards the door of the apartment and take one last look behind you.

“It was nice loving all of you, at least I didn’t regret that” you admit before heading outside and taking your keys with you. No one follows behind you and you’re so glad you didn’t expect them to because that’s all people do nowadays, disappoint your expectations of them.

You feel this sense of relief and take a nice deep breath, you feel… free? You feel free of the restraints of trying to please everyone, free from constantly worrying about others, you’re set on a new path now, pleasing yourself, innuendo intended you think as you chuckle out loud.

You somehow can’t wait, everything seems set in plan. The reason you wanted to come back early was a mixture of worry but also excitement. You finally got accepted to your dream university which happens to be a continent away and you were so excited to tell Eren first while you got him all sorted out. You’ve already packed your bags and you’ve booked your ticket. You might have to make it more early though, as things didn’t turn out great. At first, you decided that you’d delay the flight at least for a month so that you could properly bid goodbye to your friends. But since you never had any, you can enjoy booking it earlier.

Is it wrong to feel happy at not telling them, nah, you think. They brought it upon themselves, now all that’s left to do is to stay at a hotel to avoid your roommate, Springer, and wait the final days in the hotel before leaving this city forever and live your life to the fullest.

notes: yeahh i think i went a lil overboard lmao, i might make this a series or maybe not. idk let me know what you think and we'll go from there. do ya'll want y/n living her best life?? thanks for reading til the end. i think the last minutes of instrumental of beabadoobee's 'perfect pair' really captures the last part of this well.

divider credits: @hitobaby

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