geocookie21

[geocookie21]

Trying to keep up with the WoL:

Hein: I'm never gonna catch my breath.

Haurchefant: Say goodbye to those who knew me.

Thancred: Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym.

Alisaie: This WoL's got 'em scared to death.

Yda: Hope they don't see right through me.

Alphinaud: Now I really wish that I knew how to swim.

[geocookie21]

Sebastian: *talking to Ominis with a mouth full of food*

MC: *getting irritated* Will you please stop speaking with your mouth full!

Sebastian: *swallows the mouthful and raises an eyebrow at her* Sorry mother—

MC: *glaring angrily at him*

Sebastian: *getting flustered* —rrrr…fucker?

Ominis: *shaking his head*

.

[geocookie21]

Gomez and Morticia Addams got divorced. I woke up mortified and with a sense of inexplicable dread.

[geocookie21]

I have decided that Nezara and Urianger are Rick and Evie from The Mummy.

[geocookie21]

Urianger to Alisae: When didst thou become aware of mine pursuits (that I was the elezen in all black with the Warriors of Darkness)? Alisae: Well, you're the only elezen I know who says stuff like 'didst' and 'thou', so when one showed up and started saying that shit, I was like 'hey, that's Urianger!'

[geocookie21]

Thancred is Struggling.

[geocookie21]

[geocookie21]

I’m still thinking about that “is OSHA regulations Cop Behavior” post. Like. You know who thinks regulations are for losers? People who build submersibles out of logitech gamepads and rejected carbon fibre. People who trust starlink as their only surface lifeline.

Do you wanna be like the fine film on the floor of the Atlantic that was once a billionaire? Is that the hill you’re really gonna die on?

We have an expression in my field- “Regulations Are Written In Blood”

People don’t have fucking safety standards as a power trip, we have them because somewhere in the past, NOT having those regulations killed or maimed someone.

A lot of laws out there are bullshit- safety regulations sure as fuck aren’t. I have the literal scars to prove it.

[geocookie21]

Jo, in front of the mirror: Okay. You can do this. Just look him in the eye and tell him you're gay.

Jo: Master?

The Master: Yes, my dear?

Jo: You're gay.

[geocookie21]

The Master: You still got that bomb I sent you as a wedding gift? You remember how I taught you to set it off?

Jo: I have learned how to take care of myself the past forty years.

The Master: I know, but I'm old and I worry. And now my favorite human is all grown up and killing Daleks.

Jo: You're like the crazy genocidal uncle I never had.

[geocookie21]

Frontier in Space

[geocookie21]

Doctor: Jo, you do realise the Master is a villain, right?

Jo: Oh of course!

Jo: But he's like a cuddly villain, yes? Like a Care Bear with a Tissue Compresser?

[geocookie21]

Jo: Rassilon just forced the Doctor to return to Gallifrey against his will. Ugh. I hate that disgusting, evil Time Lord!

The Master: *confused gasp*

Jo: Not you!

The Master: Oh, what a relief.

The Master: *goes back to writing his plan for world domination*

[geocookie21]

Cliff Jones: *sitting minding his own business*

The Master: *crashes his TARDIS into the living room*

Cliff: WHAT THE-?!

The Master: I am the Master! And I have been summoned here to crush my enemies! Obey me or face your doom!

Jo, walking in: No wait, it's me! Jo Grant!

The Master, calming down: Miss. Grant?! Oh my, it's been so long!

Cliff: You know this guy?!

Jo: Silly old fool, I didn't summon you here to kill Cliff, I wanted to invite you to my wedding!

The Master: Oh! What an embarrassing mistake!

[geocookie21]

The Doctor: Jo, I'm here to rescue you from the Master.

Jo: Thank god, I thought I was going to be trapped in this cell he put me in forever.

Jo: *finishes hot meal, leaves bed made, puts book on shelf, turns stereo off, fireplace off, takes complimentary shampoo and chocolate*

Jo: Can we pass the gift shop on the way out? I've got a coupon to spend.

[geocookie21]

Jo: I suspect you truly care for the Doctor.

The Master: Ridiculous!

The Master: I mean, do I think of him often? Sure!

The Master: Do I get jealous when I see his arm around you or anyone else? Absolutely.

The Master: Do I dream about kissing his neck? Of course!

The Master: But am I in love with him?!

The Master: Yes!

The Master:

Jo:

The Master: I'm sorry, my dear, what was the question?

[geocookie21]

Jo: He called me a turd yesterday. A turd!

Master: Woah, who called you a turd?! I'll kill them!

Doctor: No one's killing anyone! Unless it's with kindness.

Master: Ugh.