ghostwithskeletonhat

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

A sleight-of-hand magician routine that's also a stand-up comedy set about ADHD. Like I'm just there complaining about how I always lose or forget stuff, I change subject as I lose your track of thought, then suddenly remember that I was holding a fan in my hand and -

Where the FUCK did it go??

I ask the audience if they saw where it went. Not in my sleeve, there's just a handkerchief there. Nothing in my pockets. FUck, I don't even have any pockets. No, wait, was it in the - [a dove emerges from an improbable place] aw fuck I forgot to return that to the vet.

Now distracted by tugging a comical length of handkerchiefs out of my sleeve, I'll start telling the story of why, exactly, I was borrowing a pigeon from a vet in the first place. The story, which is lengthy, still doesn't go on as long as the string of handkerchiefs.

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

wurmsona time .

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

i’m afflicted with This Means Too Much To Me disease

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

hey is your girlfriend seeing anyone

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

the first rule of hiking is to stay on the trail unless you spot a smaller cooler looking trail

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

rb this to give the person you reblogged from a very tiny frog

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

hey vampires! im very stupid and have so much blood

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

high school is soo funny in hindsight. the entire time you're there thinking it's the most important period of your life and then the second you're out you're like well that was fucking stupid

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

Felinyan’s. Do not touch.🗡️

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

cis people who legitimately questioned their gender and decided they were cis are cis, but theyre not cis about it. i respect that.

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

*is bisexual in a nonbinary way that pisses you off*

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

one day some of you will actually go outside and go to pride and you’re going to meet old black queens who refers to themselves as femme, you’ll meet people from small towns who still use the word transsexual, you’ll see that your local activist organization set up a stall about your local LGBT history that includes leather bar’s history, you’ll see lesbians in groups refer to themselves as “guys” and “boys”, you’ll see someone with breasts and pasties and little else have “he / him” painted on his chest, and you’ll be so caught up with your terminally online attitude that instead of appreciating the wide diversity of people who exist in the LGBT community who are brave enough to share themselves you’ll just be formulating posts and tweets in your head for when get home about how “problematic” it all was and it’s honestly tragic

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

i’ve like never played a resident evil game and don’t intend to but i still just cannot stop fucking thinking about stupid manthing i’m fuckin ballin tweet

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

i think the muppets should preform the passion of the christ but as theyre nailing muppet jesus to the cross it makes squeaky toy noises and theyre using rubber mallets

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

ABBA - Gimme Gimme Gimme

8-bit version (square waves)

[ghostwithskeletonhat]

diversity win! the vampire drinking your blood is nonbinary