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Advice by Enneagram Type: Type One. From NineTypesCo by Steph Barron Hall.

See the text version of this post!

[giny-weasley]

A few things to know about: Type One. From NineTypesCo by Steph Barron Hall.

Being good is not about being the best or even the most perfect! It’s much deeper than that, but it’s hard to find and sustain. In the slides, I mention Ones repressing anger, and while most Ones do this to some extent, some Ones (the sx subtype in particular) are more comfortable feeling and expressing anger. Also, Ones often wish others knew that when they correct or advise, they genuinely want to help. They’re not trying to be mean. These slides might not ring 100% true for every One! There are many individual differences within each Enneagram type. It’s always helpful to remember that humans are complex, and it’s okay to not perfectly align with everything you read about your type (both on this page and in general).

See the text version of this post!

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Type One, by Steph Barron Hall.

Dear Type One, I appreciate your… Willingness to do what is right (rather than what is easy) • Self-discipline • Commitment to your values • Honesty • Organization: it's so calming to know I can rely on you • Structure and consistency • Integrity • Steadiness and dependability • Grounding presence • Wealth of advice • Determination to get things done • Commitment to helping others A few things I appreciate about myself I'm a fantastic problem solver • I'm not afraid to stand up for what is right • I'm always aiming to self-reflect and grow • I'm true to my word • My versatility • My commitment to purposeful living • I advocate for others • I'm strong and compassionate • I can quickly assess situations and see what's needed • My integrity • I'm passionate about justice and equality

Order a print from the artist's shop.

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A few things to know about Type One.

From NineTypesCo by Steph Barron Hall.

Common Underlying Motivation: To be good

→ This motivation is not about being the best, and it’s often not even about perfection. Instead, 1s are aiming to find a deep sense that everything is good: all is well in the world and in themselves. The good they are seeking is about virtue, integrity, righteousness (but not self-righteousness), and fairness, and it contains warmth, balance, and the flourishing of all of humanity. For some 1s, pushing toward a standard of excellence and perfection feels like one way to get there, even though that’s not what they’re ultimately seeking.

Frequently Avoiding: Being "bad" or being the last to know when they're wrong

→ 1s often have a fear that they are somehow irredeemably corrupt or deficient, so they work incredibly hard to avoid this. They are also so keenly aware of things being imperfect that their inner critic might pop up and remind them of allllll the imperfections. Then, when someone else points out an error, they’re not the last to know they were wrong.

You might not know that…

→ Not all 1s feel like perfectionists, in the traditional sense of the word. Many 1s are more concerned with fairness, accuracy, ethics, and clarity than they are with “perfectionism,” but it can easily be labeled as perfectionism from the outside. 1s frequently feel a lot of pressure to make things right, to make things better, and to reach a standard that may or may not be possible.

→ Most of the time, 1s genuinely want your feedback, and they’d like to hear what you think, especially if you’re in a relationship with them. They want to be the best partner/friend/sibling/etc., but it can be difficult to hear feedback when their inner critic takes it and runs with it. Being extra gentle, while still being clear, is always appreciated.

→ Many 1s spend a lot of energy ensuring they are appropriate. The anger or rage they feel beneath the surface about all the things that are wrong in the world feels inappropriate, so they work to repress it, and it often leaks out as resentment and frustration. But anger isn’t necessarily a bad thing! Anger gives energy, helps set boundaries, and offers willpower to make the world a better place. When 1s become more able to feel and release their anger, they can use it for good.

→ We all think of 1s as industrious, idealistic improvers, but there’s more to them! They can also be fun, excitable, silly, and spontaneous.

→ Sometimes the pressures of life weigh on them, and they feel responsible to fix everything. In this mode, it’s really difficult for 1s to loosen up and have fun, but that fun side exists!

→ 1s can be very black-and-white about a lot of things in life. Often, this is a tool they’ve needed to keep themselves in line. If there are strict boundaries around right and wrong, they can move through life without too much angst, as long as they stay inside those boundaries. This helps them stay free of mistakes and ensures they won’t be harshly punished (by themselves or others). Most of the time, 1s who want to grow are working to step out of this rigidity, but it’s a long process to learn that while these skills have been necessary in the past, they might not be helpful for the future.

And BTW…

→ 1s have deep emotions, and even if they’re not always able to articulate them, they exist under the surface. It sometimes takes time to be able to express what they do feel rather than what they should feel.

See the image version of this post!

[giny-weasley]

Re-reading Turtles All the Way Down. I think my favourite part of the entire book is Aza’s fear that she is a fictional character.

Because, of course, she is a fictional character.

It’s just… the way that medical language describes mental health, although it has it’s uses, is so clinical and cold that describing the difference between reacting to a stressor and chronic anxiety as “irrational” worry…kind of doesn’t quite get it.

Like let’s say your anxiety presents itself like this. Your loved one is late. You expected them to be home by now, but they’re not. They haven’t texted a reason. You haven’t heard from them. So your mind starts spinning and you imagine them dying in a horrible car accident and that’s why they’re late and they might never come home and they could be dead right now.

Given that you have no evidence anything bad has happened, and there are many reasons they might be late that have nothing to do with harm coming to them, this could be characterised as “irrational” worry. But the chances of them being involved in a car accident are not zero.

The chances of the bad thing you fear happening are never zero.

So how do you live with it?

You have to recognise that your emotions are there for a reason. Fear has a purpose, it’s their to protect you, but if you find that fear has stopped protecting you and it’s started hurting you instead, that’s when you have an anxiety problem.

The nature of anxiety (in my experience) has nothing to do with whether or not the fear is warranted or plausible, and everything to do with whether or not the fear is helping you deal with the problem (which is what fear is supposed to do!) or getting in your way of dealing with the problem.

The medical language of “irrational” worry can be unhelpful to you when you’re in that mindset, and it might make it harder for you to recognise when worry is anxiety, because it’s just not going to feel irrational. It will feel like a valid response to a real danger.

And Aza’s anxiety that she is a fictional character, when she is, of course, a fictional character is just such a good way of representing that mindset.

And the story itself — Aza is afraid that being a fictional character means that none of this is real, none of this means anything. But even though the fear is true, the conclusion that leads her to fear it is not.

She is a fictional character. And all of this is still meaningful. All of this still matters. All of this love is still real. All of this hope is still meaningful.

Your fear is justified, but the conclusion you draw from your fear is untrue.

Not only is it a fantastic literary way of depicting an anxious mindset, it’s a fantastic literary way explaining how to live with an anxious mindset.

I don’t know if Alaska Young ever made it out of the labryinth of suffering. But you know what? I think Aza Holmes did.

That’s a pretty damn good story.

That’s a hell of an ending to an anthology.

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“Days tick by, as you expect them to. Like fanning pages in a calendar. You make plans. Sometimes you forget them. Sometimes you keep them. Sometimes cancel them. But you never doubt you can make them. You let things —mundane things, like bad traffic or getting caught in the pouring rain or rude, inconsiderate people—ruin your day, not realizing how precious said day is. How unique. How this day will never come again. No day will look quite like it. And that’s how you look back, years after, wondering where all the time went."

Why dont we cherish each place we see or the small moments of happiness we feel....why don't we let go of the numbness deep within and focus on the excitment and just feel alive not just exist. A moment of laughter can help you forget a million screams. Life is too short to be sad over the past or be anxious about the future, lets learn to feel joy with gratitude,be content and atleast try to live happily ever after...........

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I am in love with the world."

We always say that we are beneath the stars. We aren't, of course there is no up or down, and anyway the stars surround us. But we say we are beneath them, which is nice. So often English glorifies the human- we are whos, other animals are thats-but English puts us beneath the stars, at least.

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"people always talk like there's a bright line between imagination and memory, but there isn't, at least not for me. i remember what i've imagined and imagine what i remember" HI WHAT THE FUCK ????

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“We never really talked much or even looked at each other, but it didn't matter because we were looking at the same sky together, which is maybe even more intimate than eye contact anyway. I mean, anybody can look at you. It's quite rare to find someone who sees the same world you see.”

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it’s about i would know you anywhere warden and i learned the sword for you and i would always stich you back together and go loud go loud go loud and i will never again see your eyes on your face because i will never again see your face and my stone brown eyes are yours and your steel gray eyes are mine and we can only talk through prerecorded messages and i miss you i miss you i miss and i have carried you with me and i have rebuilt your skull from scratch only to find you and i refuse to exist in your body for longer than my timer because i will not push you out and i will not hurt you and it’s foreheads pushed together and hands held tighter than ever and you’re always with me but i haven’t spoken to you in years and now we’re going to be together forever because we’ve done it achieved perfect lyctorhood and the key was our love because i would never hurt you and you would never hurt me so we commit a mutual self destruction to become something new someone new who doesn’t remember us and doesn’t remember our family but loves them because they are made of our love and they smile and throw and knife in the air and catch it and say go loud because life is too short and love is too long

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one thing that I can’t let go of re: the locked tomb series is the statement I think it makes about identity and permanence and love. Like, I guess we all finished gideon the ninth being in love with gideon’s pov and with harrow as the person she is in relation to gideon. Then we landed in harrow the ninth and we were robbed of both, and I’m sure we all felt like we lost something, and we thought the end goal would be to get to the point where we would go back to having the thing that we lost: gideon’s vibrant voice and harrow’s whole psyche. and then we landed in nona the ninth and… 

I don’t know for ya’ll, but that’s when something in me shifted. phyrra was in the body of her most beloved adept and got to live with her longing for him and for wake redefining her identity; we didn’t care for her in the previous books, but we got to care for her now, and she was worth it. camilla’s body was both hers and palamedes’ and the coronation of their arc wasn’t to go back to how they were when we first learned to love them; it was to let go of both their individualities to become a whole new person, and we readers - just as nona - got to experience the pang at understanding that we were to let go of our concept of camilla and palamedes as individuals, while having to accept that that was the truest form they both could possibly achieve, that they felt no loss whatsoever, that what we perceived as loss was in fact their triumph. gideon - our beloved gideon - came back and she wore another name and we got to love her again, but names matter in this universe, and we had to deal with the pang of knowing that we could love her all the same, but she was - in fact - not the same at all, and when she antagonised our new main characters we found out in surprise that we resented her for it, that our loyalties had partially shifted. and then…

and then there was nona. nona in the body of harrow, who got to be loved as a person separated from harrow because bodies are transient and the soul is what matters. nona who was born to disappear in mere months, something the people around her knew well and which didn’t prevent any of them from getting to know her as a fully fleshed individual and to learn to love her all the same. nona whom we readers too understood at one point that was a character built to fade away. we could have decided not to invest in her, then. we could have decided to be annoyed at not finding harrow in her, at not finding gideon in her. but we didn’t. well, I didn’t. I understood she was born to die, and I chose to love her all the same. because isn’t it how it is? isn’t this how love is? we are mortal things who fall for mortal things knowing full well they won’t last. but we choose to love all the same. the impermanence of things isn’t a flaw ruining what should have been perfect; it is the very essence of things. we got to love nona even though she wouldn’t last. we got to love nona because she wouldn’t last. that’s all fine, in the end, because we got to love someone, and you can’t take loved away.

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paired with their often intimate and violent subject matter, i find the incidental way tamsyn muir frames women and their bodies throughout the locked tomb series to be refreshing bordering on radical

consider harrowhark; in the first book we see her as gideon sees her. she's a hideous ghoul with a flat ass and no tits, she's a delicate sopping wet beauty with a sharp face and angel bow lips, she's a triumphant and awe inspiring master necromancer screaming and fighting drenched in her own blood. the shape and condition of her body is allowed to take on meaning contextually based entirely on the situation and how gideon feels about their relationship in any given moment

she then spends the second book hobbling around with a sword twice her size, ripping apart her body to use as a weapon and passing out in her own vomit, struggling to eat and sleep – she and puts herself through absolute hell and never once thinks anything of it, and we're made to mourn this not as the desecration of a beautiful woman but as a manifestation of a human being's despair and self loathing, and we see this specifically contrasted against the care gideon tries to take when inhabiting her body during the last act

it's jarring, in nona, when we're suddenly made aware that her body could be perceived or valued as a commodity, when pyrrha is assumed to be nona's pimp. it feels strange and horrifying when we learn alecto's form was modeled for a doll, learn that she was given a woman's body as a display of ownership, an alternative to being consumed, and as we're processing this we watch gideon, paul, and ianthe, immediately setting aside their conflict in a desperate scramble to preserve harrow's body for no reason other than because it is harrow's and they love her

feminist fiction often focuses on women's relationship to a body which is valued more than the person within it – and that is a worthy experience to explore – but as a transsexual butch(ish) dyke, i have never really had the privilege of seeing my body as a precious commodity, never felt like it couldn't or shouldn't be a sight of violence and disgust, and as a result the locked tomb books have made me feel seen in a way that few other works of fiction have?

we as an audience are not made aware of how attractive any character would be outside of the context of our lesbian POV characters' perspectives, their relationship to patriarchal beauty standards is an utterly irrelevant detail we're never told and only occasionally glimpse through implication. the women in the locked tomb books are simply free to exist, to have experiences and feelings, to love and hate and grieve and suffer and die like anybody else, and to have those experiences reflected in their physical vessels

it's a perspective that's so fundamental and obvious that to praise muir for it for it feels almost patronizing, but i also think it's a huge part of what's made the series so resonant for so many queer women and i feel that that's worthy of highlighting and celebrating

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the best plot twists of the locked tomb are when it unapologetically fucks genre over and over again—it’s a fantasy story in a sci-fi setting, it’s a whodunnit meets battle royale, it’s a coming-of-age romance at the forefront of a colonial imperialist dystopia, it’s a psychological thriller and a ghost story bubbling in a stew of homosexuality and queerness, it’s a ball of literature references wrapped around memes and pop culture, it’s a slice of life in a cake of political intrigue, and turns out it’s ultimately a climate fiction horror story on steroids

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So very close.

Yet a universe away.

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"I miss you so much, Ava."

#avatrice #warriornun

[giny-weasley]

we fall and so does the world

ALBA BAPTISTA and KRISTINA TONTERI-YOUNG as AVA SILVA and SISTER BEATRICE

#avatrice #warriornun

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They’re living rent free in my head

#warriornun