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think again motherfucker

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There’s no way..

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When I first signed up for electrolysis, the clinic owner told me her whole staff is trans. Cool. I assumed that meant trans femmes, since we're the ones who usually need the facial hair removal, so it only makes sense that some of us will go into the business.

Nope! My electrolysis tech is a trans man with a full beard. Huh.

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Some daughter and father bonding🤗

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*record scratch* yup. that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how i got into this situation. well. I’ll have to start from the beginning…

x

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Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

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Owning a black cat is awesome because you’ll leave the bathroom and The Shape will be waiting for you

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do NOT feel bad abt scarfing down a tub of raspberries. there is NO reason at all to ration them like other delicious treats bc they WILL mold as soon as theyre out of your line of sight

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i love my bedroom it’s awesome here. it even has bed. and blanky.

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This is literally the most bomb-ass D&D story I’ve ever read in my life oh my god.