gr1msgr4ve

[gr1msgr4ve]

you'll just be minding ur business and then suddenly the air smells like an august evening in 2005

[gr1msgr4ve]

Minion or da bob

[gr1msgr4ve]

Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

[gr1msgr4ve]

No it's not that I don't appreciate the flirting, I just wish you wouldn't do it while I'm in the middle of vivisecting you. Yes I know that it's really hot when I'm covered in your blood elbow deep in your chest cavity that's why I keep vivisecting you. But I keep getting flustered and dropping your liver and its really slippery so I keep dropping it over and over again leading to very comedic slapstick comedy where I slip on your blood and fall over really funny

[gr1msgr4ve]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[gr1msgr4ve]

sorry about the blood loss. do you uh. want it back *holds out my red dripping hands awkwardly*

[gr1msgr4ve]

[gr1msgr4ve]

was lamenting the fact that my eczema is flaring up when the thought "the itcher" popped into my head fully formed and unprompted and now i can't stop laughing

[gr1msgr4ve]

BRO

[gr1msgr4ve]

Once while I was at work a grown ass man told me "no matter how tough you act you'll never be a man, just like I'll never be a woman" and I know he MEANT like "I'm tougher than you because women are weak" but I heard it in Queer and went "Oh.... sweetheart" and he just completely recoiled it was insane

[gr1msgr4ve]

they should add a drop of glowing purple fluid to doctor pepper. just one drop

[gr1msgr4ve]

I'm just saying, if there's a curse that runs along your family line and you don't tell your kids about it, how the hell are they supposed to go on a quest to stop it?

[gr1msgr4ve]

[gr1msgr4ve]

taking a class on sex this semester which has resulted in many fun things like "sex activity" and "sex final" being added to my planner. being very mature and serious about this .

[gr1msgr4ve]

accidentally caused myself to get a stomach ache by vividly imagining myself eating the burger i was planning on having for dinner tomorrow

[gr1msgr4ve]

HOMESTUCK ICONS!

they're all free to use, just pls credit me if u can! sorry some of these look kinda wonky i made these in the span of like four days

[gr1msgr4ve]

you know how sometimes you see a shape from a distance and hope it's a cat or other small pettable animal. but it turns out to be just a plastic bag or something. well that's sort of what just happened to me, except for some reason i decided it must be a gargoyle statue someone had decided to abandon on the side of the road. so i think i may have just had a truly unique human experience.