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terms that jean uses for neil in the sunshine court:

tiny bastard

tedious malcontent

abominable cockroach

wayward child

rabid little Fox

wretched little runaway

ignorant child

miserable wretch

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the most annoying person you know is about to start their annual re-reading of the raven cycle

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Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

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When I was in middle school, I tried to learn how to crochet. I knew how to knit already, so I figured ‘how hard could it be’ and used my Christmas money on a brand new set of aluminum hooks and a how-to book.

To say it was difficult was an understatement. I spent hours pouring over my book, begging to gain some inkling of understanding from what felt like incomprehensible runes. My reward? One lopsided trapezoid of lumpy fabric and a resolve to never pick up a crochet hook again.

And so life went on, I finished middle school and high school without giving crochet so much as a second glance. In college, I read about how crochet couldn’t be replicated by a machine, it was unique in a way that knitting and many other fiber arts weren’t.

For Christmas last year, my girlfriend gave me what I now consider to be my most prized possession: a crocheted plush of my favorite pokemon. I raved over her skills and, since she never learned how to knit, we decided to have a yarn date at some point and teach each other our respective skills.

We never did get around to that yarn date. She passed a few months after our declaration, leaving me to inherit what was left of her yarn.

Nearly a decade after my initial attempt, I got ready for the toughest battle of my life. My weapons? One skein of yarn, a YouTube video, and a crochet hook that I had somehow never gotten rid of.

I slowly made my way through the video, redoing my work a couple times until I was satisfied with my product: a small, slightly misshapen rectangle.

I looked at my pristinely-made pokemon plush with hope for the first time in months and thought to myself, ‘maybe crocheting isn’t the hardest thing in the world, maybe you were just 12.’

Maybe this isn’t the hardest thing in the world. Maybe I’m just 21.

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fuck dating apps i want to meet someone the old fashioned way (you’re walking your bike up the last hill into town wearing your school uniform. i’m hanging out the passenger side window of my best friend’s car. your hands are beautiful. we know nothing about each other. you disappear in the rear view mirror. i close my eyes and send up a simple, inexplicable, desperate prayer to god. i say please. i have never said please in my life)

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the most kafkaesque thing was that i trusted u

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1x04 || 3x13

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Hannibal 3x06 - “Dolce”

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S01E01, S02E11, S03E06, S03E13

they did not, in fact, keep it professional.

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I don't think Will or Hannibal are psychopaths I just think that having your first gay crush later in your life will fuck with your head and I think the show accurately depicted that

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Hannibal 3.06 Dolce | 3.13 The Wrath of the Lamb

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saddest fucking tag i've ever seen in my life. why not just cut off his dick while you're at it

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