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i am now on my first rewatch of criminal minds and i am kindly asking (im going rabid) for requests specifically for season 1 Spencer Reid (x plus size reader ofc!!)

HE'S SO GRAHHHHH (i want to eat him)

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You guys rlly don't realise how much knowledge is still not committed to the internet. I find books all the time with stuff that is impossible to find through a search engine- most people do not put their magnum opus research online for free and the more niche a skill is the less likely you are to have people who will leak those books online. (Nevermind all the books written prior to the internet that have knowledge that is not considered "relevant" enough to digitise).

Whenever people say that we r growing up with all the world's knowledge at our fingertips...it's not necessarily true. Is the amount of knowledge online potentially infinite? Yes. Is it all knowledge? No. You will be surprised at the niche things you can discover at a local archive or library.

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pick one you bald genderless idiot

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unfortunately no eclipse photography can ever outdo the waffle house one from 2017

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i think furniture legs should be carved into little animal feet again.  i think that would solve a lot of problems. 

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It’s so fucked up how tiktok culture has made clout-poisoned people turn the public into content, every day I see people minding their business have their entire faces put online for thousands of likes, a couple kissing on the train, a lady dancing across a cross walk, a guy nodding his head to the music at a club, a lady buying a banana at the store, ring camera footage of the neighbors kids being stupid. Just let people live jfc

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Some more “what’s in my bag” posts from flickr. We have always been the same…..

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So Fox News ran a story about how they think libraries are turning into drug-infested sex dens and I am shocked, shocked that I was never offered any drugs during my 15+ years working in libraries.

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Teeth are bullshit. What do you mean you’re decaying. Get a fucking grip. You’re a bone now act like it. You don’t see my finger bones decaying from jerking it too much now do you

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List of Alfred (the butler) exes

Mademoiselle Marie (that's who he had Julia with pre-Crisis)

Leslie Thompkins

Mrs. Mac (the Drakes' live-in maid)

Half the royal family

One of his fellow soldiers during the war

James Bond

Peggy Carter when reality got messy again

Post-Endgame old man Steve Rogers

The Gotham school district superintendent

A mob boss

A champion casino player in Monaco

One of his co-stars from when he was an actor

At least one person from every retirement home in Gotham

Jimmy Olsen's uncle (completely unknowingly until he's invited to meet the family)

An enemy spy to gain intel

3 of the 4 Beatles

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we need more women who are just fucking losers

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sero promises to give you the best ten minutes of your life. when you ask why its only ten minutes he goes "🥺 cause you're really pretty im going to cum really fast'

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Warning: Fem!Reader nsfw, mdni A/N: Sorry my posts look so ugly rn!! I'm experimenting w different formatting :( Also merry christmas :3 Masterlist here!

I like how we can all agree that Soap has an oral fixation.

He just needs something in his mouth the entire time, whether it be chewing on a piece of gum or the cap of his pen during work. His mouth needs to be doing something at all times and it gets him super agitated when it isn't.

You two could be just laying on the sofa and watching a movie, except his face is buried into your chest as he tries to suppress his urges to mark you. You eventually give in, letting him have a go at your neck but it isn't enough for him.

He whines and whines for you to let him suckle at your chest. He promises it isn't a sexual thing and that he'll be gentle but you're not having any of it.

"Johnny, get off of me. I'm not going to tell you again."

"Can't. Need you in my mouth right now." And he's pulling your shirt up, tugging at your bra to try get your boobs free. And once he finally, albeit uncomfortably, pulled your bra off, his lips are immediately attaching to your nipples.

And as you grumble about wanting to watch the movie in peace, you lay your head back when you feel him taking them into his warm mouth and... sigh.

He's so careful, making sure he doesn't hurt his love and that his teeth don't graze them too harshly. He's only satisfied once he's left his mark all over the skin of your breasts, small hickeys bruising your skin.

"You done?" you ask him because he's been going at it for so long now and the movie's ended but then you hear the small snores coming from him.

But he's fallen asleep like a babe, suckling on your perky nipples.

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nsfw minors dni:

imagining a pent up and stressed university reader. maybe it can be stupid lectures, workload, idiotic classmates, everything.....

coming home to soap.

"aye bonnie... what's the matter? what's with the sourface?" he responds, snarky, with a smirk, playing a boyish tone.

"shut the fuck up and get on the bed mactavish." she says, her tone angry, a slight pout on her face. she meant business as he giggles in response.

he's never seen this. oddly, it's making his dick hard.

"ay princess, tell me what's wrong with ya?" he asks with a playful tone.

a shove wasn't what he was expecting for sure.

taking off his shirt, you hurriedly unbuckle his belt before seeing the precum leaking on his dick. you need this.

you take off your panties, before shoving it inside you immediately.

"lass! slow down!" he screams out before feeling your walls clench around his dick, as you ride him out as if he's your personal dildo. hearing him grunt, getting yourself off, it was all just a mess. everything just depends on you chasing your pleasure now.

you get faster, and faster before feeling a twitch inside you. cries from soap were ignored, you know very well he's fucking enjoying this. snarky bastard.

you feel it paint your walls before feeling him grip your arm, and grunt once more. a flood of relief washes over you. this, this was 1000x better than your original plan of punching a random guy on the street.

"that...felt so fucking good." you hear him say.

you stayed silent. and your hips start moving once again.

johnny has no idea what's to come.

note:

i snapped at my best friend, punched a door, almost punched another window and screamed at my wall. am i alright? figure it out. i just need someone to ride.

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We’re not gonna talk about how I wrote this instead of finishing part two of what’s in a virtue. We’re not even gonna talk about what this is. I’m just gonna… yeah, here ya go.

!Trigger warnings: dubcon

Body swap au with soap who just wakes up one day and says, “no fuckin’ way.”

Soap who thinks it’s the best fuckin’ dream he’s ever had.

Soap who solemnly agrees with you in the mornings that yes, the two of you do need to work together to fix this as soon as possible, but who spends his nights in front of a mirror stripped down to nothing, masturbating because it’s fucking you, and you’re so pretty when you’re panting. Soap who was always convinced that making you come would feel just as good as coming himself, and now he doesn’t have to figure that out anymore.

Soap who, fuck, has his cake and eats it, too.

Soap who grins so proud at the awkward way you stumble around in his body, too big for you. Soap who, after discovering you’d had to——ahem——relieve yourself for the first time, feels his skin fucking buzz at the fact that you can’t meet his eyes, your eyes, anymore without a schoolboy blush spreading across his own damn face.

Soap who knows you liked what you saw.

Soap who makes your body come again that night, not even thinking of your body anymore, but of your mind fumbling around in his body, experimenting with touches and caresses. Soap who imagines you knowing how to pleasure him inside and out when this is all over.

Soap who records the sound of your voice saying his name, because the lines are getting so damn blurry, and emails the video to himself. Takes pictures, too.

Would never blackmail you with them, no, no, no.

But he deletes them from your phone after sending them all to his drive.

Soap who, after everything is over, after you’ve both found your ways into your own bodies, trots after you like the dog he is wherever you go.

Soap who, after you check the deleted folder of your photos app, gets a good and proper scolding.

Soap who managed to record the entire reprimand, listening to the anger in your voice, the how dare you do that to me——to my body?! That’s so fucked up, Soap!

Soap who rewards himself yet again that night, teeth gnawing at the hem of his shirt that he hadn’t bothered taking off, just pulling up high enough to jack himself off with his back against his front door. Panting at the dash he’d made up his flat’s stairs, then panting your name, whimpering disingenuous apologies to your chiding voice.

Soap who doesn’t stop, who won’t stop until he’s got the real you screaming his name.