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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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The Life That I Chose To Live, by Alisha Vergara

Kabebae mong tao, tapos ganyan ka.

I cannot begin to count the amount of times that I have heard this. This typical phrase is usually said as an attack to my tomboy-ish demeanor, my love for sports, and everything in between in my life. Being the oldest girl in my family, there have always been expectations formed around how I am supposed to behave. As I started from tutus and ballet slippers, it was evident that I was expected to be a specific kind of daughter for my parents. The moment I discovered that I preferred a pair of cleats and a glove to spend my time, I knew that it would not an easy pill to swallow from my parents. It was inevitable that I would eventually receive backhanded comments for my choice of living. Since I could never seem to fit inside the mold that society has placed for me, it was inevitable for criticism to come my way.

There has not been one major source to which I have heard this line. Though hidden through its many derivatives, key people in my life who whom I surround myself constantly bear reminder to the fact that I am unable to fit into the mold hat is required of me to be ‘feminine’. Though I have experienced and heard the spectrum of these comments, the major influence which enables me to change aspects of my life to fit into the mold that is expected of me is my mother. As the epitome of proper etiquette and poise, she could never understand how her only daughter could be so unlike her. From being given all the tools in order for me to grow into the mold that she and the many generation has built before me, for me not to be able to conform into this results to criticism. Although I am unable to blame her for the way she is, it is evident that she is a product of how the previous generations have shaped her. And although I may never fully grasp my head around how she was able to live her life, it does not make it any less of a valid way of living as mine. As stated by Kahneman, “elimination of memories greatly reduces the value of the experience”. Though we are unable to see eye to eye in many different things, the way each utilize and process our memories from experiences greatly affects how we each live our lives.

It surprises me to this day that I can be so accustomed hearing something that carries so much meaning that goes beyond just who I am. This phrase alone gives me a glimpse to the never-ending conversation of gender and the varying standards surrounding this. Although I have taught myself not to be affected by these phrases that are made to attack a me that has never existed and could not exist, it still affects me to try to conform to what is expected of me. Though I learn to not to be phased by these comments, I would still keep my legs crossed and wear a dress when I am instructed to. Such as the concept of dramaturgy, I would keep those things that are more personal to my life in the back stage and off stage but still conform to what the audience wants in the front stage in order to keep everyone happy. As stated by McAdams “Evolution has prepared us to care deeply about social acceptance and social status, for those unfortunate individuals who do not get along well in social groups or who fail to attain a requisite status among their peers have typically been severely compromised when it comes to survival and reproduction.” The concept of conforming still can affect how I am to live even when I claim for it not to mind me. I believe that though life is a portrayal of your own choices and decisions, the way by which you respond to criticisms made by those who see you can still affect one’s life

Gender and personality hold integral roles to how someone is to live their life. Even through the mundane aspects, such as walking through a road, how someone was born, raised and identified as, reflect how one’s life is to be. There are unspoken rules and boundaries that are not meant to be crossed when it comes to how a specific gender is supposed to act through life. Though gender has grown to be a very fluid concept, there are still expectations as to how each person is to live their lives to which they identify to. It then leads to various issues concerning the importance to how someone chooses to carry themselves as a person. A tension then forms between the two ideologies revolving around how one wants to be and that which is expected of them. This then makes me realize how though these are very defining features of someone’s being, it is something that should not fully give meaning to a person. This is where the concept of mosaic epistemology comes into play. According to Raewyn Connell, this pertains to the “separate knowledge systems or projects sit beside each other like tiles in a mosaic. Each is based on a specific culture, religion, language, historical experience, or fragment of identity and therefore has its own terminology and categories. Each has its own claims to validity, and none should be taken as universal, as the master narrative for the whole world.” I then must learn that what is said about me through another person’s lenses is merely one part of a multi-faceted life that I am living. So as my family and I embrace my tomboy-ish demeanor, we all take it as an understanding of how it does not completely define me but merely encapsulate a part of me.

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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Clothing as an expression of one’s identity by: Abby Gutierrez

When I was a toddler until third grade, my mom would pick out my clothes whenever we had to go out of the house. During this period, I did not really care on what she dressed me up with. I even remember that I often match with my older and younger sisters. As time passed, I started to have my own opinions on what I wanted to wear. Because I hit the stage of puberty, the phase of insecurity and consciousness, I was more worried of how people would think of me. Because of this, I always resulted to wearing a pair of pants and a shirt as it was the safest choice and I was pretty comfortable with it. My mom, however, had a different opinion as she viewed my outfits as redundant and ‘boring.’ She wanted me to wear a variety of clothes like dresses, skirts or sleeveless tops. Sometimes, I was forced to change my outfit as she uttered “‘Magpalit ka. Mukha kang lalaki.”

When she said that, I immediately followed her as she was my mother – a person who I needed to respect and follow. Other than following my mom, I decided to immediately follow because of the fear of being judged. I assumed that wearing the pants-and-shirt combination equated to being a lesbian or a ‘tomboy’ which I did not want to be recognized as. It was even more probable that people would see me that way because I am someone who is involved in sports, specifically softball, which can sometimes be portrayed as a rough sport. Because of the constant reminder I got from my mother, it has been ingrained in my mind of how I am supposed to present myself in public through my observations in my surroundings and through the guidance of my mom. It affected me by forming the habit of asking my siblings and my parents if my outfit was good enough every single time we had to go out. Up until today, I still carry this habit of asking. I was so conscious of how I presented myself as I had to look more ‘girly.’ My choice of clothes was affected in a way that I had to expand my choices.

Eventually the phrase “Magpalit ka” changed meaning when I entered high school and college. This expression coming from my mom was not because it was redundant or boring, but because she wants me to wear “more appropriate” clothing. In my situation, wearing the shorts is perceived to be “inappropriate” by my mom because it gives off an impression off looking like a “slut,” when in reality I just find it more practical to wear short on a hot sunny day. With these, I was accustomed to be careful with how I present myself in public, making sure that I am always presentable and wearing the appropriate clothes to convey a proper image of a woman. This façade, however, is not observed at home where I am more comfortable as I can wear anything (usually shorts and a loose shirt).

Choosing what to wear is very important as clothing is an avenue for showing the norms that are set in a society. It is necessary for society to have a set of norms which are shared values of conduct that dictate what people ought to or not ought to do. Because of these norms, men and women have preset characteristics that need to be embodied as they are used as social cues in signaling others in society. For women, society expects us to present ourselves with rapport and gentleness in all the activities we do, including the way that we dress. Society’s construction expects women to use proper grammar and be polite in speaking as well as wearing clothes that portray pureness but potential sexiness (Moore & Rosenthal, 2007). The change in the meaning of the phrase was a form that may have shown deviant action – breaking the norm of presenting myself as pure.

Another reason why my way of dressing has changed as I entered high school and college was due to the developmental stage that I was in. In Erikson’s psychosocial theory of development, the adolescent stage is where an individual faces the crisis of identity and role confusion (Kroger, 1996). Here, adolescents are faced with trying to search for a sense of self. Because clothing is an expression of one’s identity, there were changes on how I dressed up and how I presented myself. This is also the stage where individuals start to decide on their own, slowly becoming more independent from their parents (Grotevant & Cooper 1985). Thus, when my mother reacted to me wearing shorts, I had an initial reaction of annoyance. Yet, I still followed because I still had to follow and respect her as my mom.

Furthermore, these norms and preset characteristics that differentiate a man and a woman were further reinforced by the immediate environment that I was exposed to. According to Bronfenbrenner’s bioecological development system, the microsystem or the immediate environment includes the family as an essential part in the immediate influences that shape the an individual (Bronfenbrenner & Morris, 2006). Parents are known to be identity agents who co-construct and help shape the identity of the child (Schacter, 2008). My parents, being the important figures in my early development, greatly influenced who I am as a person today. Because it is an unspoken rule to respect and follow the orders of a parent, the environment that they set up for their children greatly influences the way their children think. With my mother’s stance on the way of dressing up – upholding the gentle, pure, ad polite stereotype – I was influenced to thin that it is the portraying myself in the same way is the proper and right way.

The manner of dressing does not only address how society constructed the general stereotype of a woman, but to build good first impressions to strangers. According to Goffman (1991), the presentation of the self is related to making impressions. When we appear before others, there is an expression that is given off, an expression that the other receives from the way you present yourself, which can be either the same or different from the intended expression that is given. However, one needs to present himself or herself differently in front of an audience as compared to how he or she really is as a person. If Goffman’s dramaturgical framework is applied to my situation, my front stage would be the way I dress in front of my peers, when I am in school, or in a public area as there is a pressure of having to adhere to the norm. On the oother hand, my back stage would be the way I dress at home – shorts and an oversized shirt – because I can wear anything that I am comfortable in without judgement.

Parents who dictate to their children on what to wear pose their part in shaping their children’s identity. Furthermore, clothing is also a reflection of the stereotypical norms of genders in society. Thus, it is important for one to be aware of how they present themselves in public as people judge others through their first impressions where clothing is considered to be a great factor. Most importantly, an individual should dress up in a manner that will best show his or her personality and how it will best describe her as a person as it can be a tool to express one’s identity.

Sources:

Bronfenbrenner, U., & Morris, P. A. (2006). The Bioecological Model of Human Development. In R. M. Lerner & W. Damon (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology: Theoretical models of human development (pp. 793-828). Hoboken, NJ, US: John Wiley & Sons Inc.

Goffman, E. (1991). The presentation of self in everyday life. In J. Henslin (Ed.), Down to Earth Sociology (pp. 98-108). New York, NY: The Free Press.

Grotevant, H., & Cooper, C. (1985). Patterns of interaction in family relationships and the development of identity exploration in adolescence. Child Development, 56, 415-428.

Kroger, J. (1996). Adolescence as identity synthesis: Erikson’s psychosocial approach. In Identity in adolescence: The balance between self and other (Ch.2). New York, NY: Routledge.

Moore, S. & Rosenthal, D. (2007). Gender, sexuality and romance. In Sexuality in Adolescence: Current Trends (Ch. 6 pp. 132-155). New York, NY: Routledge.

Schacter, E., & Ventura, J. (2008). Identity agents: Parents as active and reflective participants in their children’s identity formation. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 18(3), 449-476.

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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A Student-Athlete’s Stage

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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The Journey of Well- Being by Alisha Vergara

To be placed out of one’s comfort zone is an inevitable sensation that one must go through in life. It is an experience that an individual must be able to experience to be able to place oneself in society. As shown in the writing of Hermans, we are able to place ourselves within the multitudes of people through “self- identity” (2015) through the use of one’s own experiences and cultural backgrounds and comparing it to other’s. We are then faced with a daunting task to be able to pinpoint specific items that will be able to encapsulate the wave of emotions I will feel as I leave all that is comfortable and safe in my life. The daunting task of taking one item with me and leaving one with my family is truly meaningful because it will contain all memories, emotions and safety that I hold dear to my heart.

In my family, the theme of sports surrounds most of our conversations in our day to day lives. From the regular updates of the standings of our favorite teams, to the never-ending planning of our agenda for the upcoming days which always involve training, tournaments, and the like, a conversation concerning athletics will never run dry in the comfort zone that I consider home. This has become the glue that gives strength to each relationship within the four people in the household. The concept of homophily, explained in the writings of Hermans, can be seen on my situation with my family. Since I am able to share many similarities with my family, being raised me in a specific culture that I have accepted as my norm, they are able to provide me with the feeling of “stay[ing] within my comfort zone of self- space.” (2015) Though it could be deemed as acceptable to remain in the safe space of my family, this embracing of complete homophily will eventually lead to redundant communication. As solution, Hermans, et. al, suggested that one “should be homophilous on variables that add to mutual understanding, and heterophilous on those variables that are relevant to finding creative ways for solving problems in the situations at hand.” (2015) With the two items I have chosen, I believe that I will be able to incorporate this integral aspect of my family as well as place a unique meaning to it that sets me apart from the other members of my family.

Since I am to leave my family as I move away, it is important that I leave them with an item that not only assures them that they will be safe as I leave them, but will also imprint a memory in their minds that will enable them to remember me while I am gone. The item I would wish to leave with my family is my softball bat. I believe that this will remind my family members of all the unspoken yet memorable moments I spent with my those dear to me. These unspoken memories, such as those discussed in the writings of Kahneman, which are “often used to describe vacation highlights, explicitly revealing the goal of the experience.” Through the various chips and scratches of the bat, my family will be able to remember the fun memories I had with the sport such as the moments where I am able to play with my brother as well as the struggles I have experienced throughout my career with the sport. These are the moments that defined who we are as a family. Though good and bad memories can be tied on to this token, these were memories that should not be forgotten since it gave definition to the family dynamic as a whole. Along with this, the bat can also serve a dual purpose by protecting my family when needed. This assurance of safety will also give me peace and well- being to know that they will be alright as I venture on to this new journey without them by my side.

For that search of change in viewpoint that a culturally different ideology can give me when I move to a far-away place, I found it fitting that I choose object to bring with me that would not only represent a small but significant piece of my comfort zone, but will also allow the possibility for me to be able to connect to with those who have gone through completely different cultural upbringings from me. This would be my San Francisco Giants cap. Since it represents one of my family’s favorite sports teams, it is something that can give me comfort while being far away from home. Since it is one of the many caps my family has collected over the years of following and admiring the baseball team, I am able to bring with me a part of my family culture with me wherever I go. Along with the security that this cap will give me, I am also then able to integrate my own upbringing by connecting with others. This ideology can be seen in the research of Mesquita, “People’s emotions thus continue to be updated, providing the individual guidance on how to act in the current environment throughout the life span” (2016). By wearing something that contains the possibility of cross- cultural connections, which in this case is the common admiration of the same baseball team, I will be able to adapt better into this completely different experience of moving away without losing a part of myself that makes me unique.

As I venture on to the new place far away from my family, I believe that the two items I chose to either leave behind or take with me will not only give definition to who I am to my family as well as to all the people I will meet, but it will also guarantee a sense of security that my family and my well- being will be assured to each of us as I venture off to a place that is beyond their reach. I can also be assured that my culture as a member of my family will not be lost or forgotten when I am faced with others who live completely different lives from mine. With these objects, I know that I, as well as my family, will all be okay, and that is all that I need to know to be able to face whatever challenges come my way.

References:

Batja Mesquita, Michael Boiger, Jozefien De Leersnyder. (2016). The cultural construction of emotions, Current Opinion in Psychology, 8: Pages 31-36, ISSN 2352-250X, http://dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2015.09.015.

Hermans, H. (2015). Human development in today’s globalizing world: Implications for self and identity. In L. Jensen (Ed.), The Oxford Handbook of Human Development and Culture: An Interdisciplinary Perspective (Ch. 3, pp. 28-42). New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Kahneman, D. (2011). The characters of the story. In Thinking, fast and slow (Ch. 1, pp. 19-30. New York: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux.

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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WELL- BEING by Alisha Vergara

References:

Kahneman, D. (2011). The characters of the story. In Thinking, fast and slow (Ch. 1, pp. 19-30. New York: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux.

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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W E L L - B E I N G (by: Stephanie Angelica S. Naval)

As soon as this task was given, my System 1 activated in reaction to the assigned task at hand. I first gave a facial expression of confusion and puzzlement for it was a unique task that I have never encountered before. According to Kahneman, System 1 “operates automatically and quickly, with little or no effort and no sense of voluntary control.” (2011) Hence, my immediate and automatic expression to the assignment activates my System 1. However, as the task required me to do further thinking, attention and concentration I begin to activate my System 2, which, according to Kahneman, “allocates attention to the effortful mental activities that demand it and are often associated with the subjective experience of agency, choice, and concentration.” (2011) Thus, as my work for the assignment progressed I began to use my System 2.

For my first object, I hope to send my family one of my art pieces I painted of Venice as seen in the picture above. I hope to leave them this painting because of the good memories and feelings that are attached to the painting. Not only did I uniquely make this painting but also the illustration of Italy from the painting captures is attached to positive emotions. Italy was a recent place where my family visited and it was perhaps one of the best trips we ever had since great and loving memories were built there. It was a reunion from my dad’s side and all my cousins, titos and titas were able to attend. We shared many late nights bonding, laughing, dancing, and enjoying each other’s company.

I anticipate that when given this painting my family members and loved ones would recall these fond thoughts and memories. These thoughts would hopefully lead them to feelings of happiness and joy. Hence, hopefully ensuing them to be happy and joyful in their behavior. This painting would serve as a reminder of me when I am away in this far away environment, hence, the rationale as to why I chose this to be my first object.

For my second object, I would bring my meditation smart phone app, called “Breathe.” This meditation app contains daily mindfulness exercises and breathing tools in order to improve ones mental health. (An image of the digital application is displayed above.) The app, Breathe, is what I would bring because I feel it would be useful in my new overwhelming environment (college) and would keep me grounded to my well-being. According to Williams’ “Mind, Body and Emotion,” there are three elements he implies that affect our well-being: thoughts, feelings and behaviors. (2007)

For this new environment, I am anticipating self-doubt and negative thoughts from myself. In addition, I am anticipating thoughts of fears and anxieties as well, which would lead me to feelings of insecurity, worriedness, fear, restlessness, uneasiness and what not. Hence, in order for me to stop these feelings and thoughts from developing into undesirable behaviors I must practice mindfulness in my new environment.

Mindfulness, according to Williams, is “the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to things as they are.” (2007) It is through this awareness I am able to catch myself as early as being aware of my unhealthy thoughts and addressing such thoughts in order for it to translate to healthy behaviors and how I interact with others and my environment. Furthermore, not only does this mindfulness aid my interaction towards my environment but vice versa, how the environment affects and relates to me as well, as studied by Mesquita from the text, “The Cultural Construction of Emotions.”

My emotions, as Mesquita points out, “are iterative and active constructions that help an individual achieve the central goals and tasks in a given context.” (2016) Hence, by integrating myself into a new environment this opens myself to the culture of emotions that the new context brings or will influence me to do. Managing such emotions would be essential for me, thus, the rationale as to why I chose the app, Breathe.

Lastly, we see that my idea of well-being is the state of which an individual is happy or healthy through his or her thoughts, feelings, behaviors and how they interact with ones environment. I have selected such items because I feel that they will contribute positively to my well-being and my family’s well-being as well. I’m a firm believer that self-care is essential. and in order to achieve that one can practice mindfulness, emotion regulation strategies and positively develop their relationships towards their environment (the objects, peers, happenings and factors that surround them) and vice versa.

This practice of well-being is what I try to pursue through mindfulness exercises, being conscious of my “modal model”, processes and emotion regulation strategies when encountering situations, and by developing healthier relationships with the environment surrounding me for well-being is not simply personal but social as well. It is these factors that also affect our development and overall state of as a person. Hence, my idea of well-being is not simply the harmony of the self but includes the harmony of how it relates to everything that surrounds it.

References:

Kahneman, D. (2011). The characters of the story. In Thinking, fast and slow. New York: Farrar, Straus, and Grioux, pp. 19-30.

Williams, M., Teasdale, J., Segal, Z., & Kabat-Zinn, J. (2007). Part I: Mind, Body, and Emotion. In The mindful way through depression: Freeing yourself from chronic unhappiness. New York: The Guilford Press. pp. 11-49.

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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Well-being (Gutierrez)

Well-being, as how I understand it, is an individual’s capability to cope with normal stresses of life, and their recognition or realization of his or her own potentials which he or she can use to work productively with a goal of eventually contributing to his or her community.

If I were sent to the other side of the world to further study on my chosen profession, one important object that I would bring with me is the diary/planner that my parents had given me recently. I chose this object for its purpose – to write and share my experiences with them. Just like any other diary, my day-to-day entries will be read by my family members once I get back home – something that will be more meaningful rather than posting about it on my social media accounts. I believe that this object will be very meaningful to me because first, it is a more authentic way to share my personal experiences privately and second, it is also a tool in helping me cope with the great distance from my comfort zone – my family. Living in a globalized society, technology has been advantageous in being able to reach others around the globe with ease as well as providing more work and educational opportunities. However, technology also has another face where it can lead to ambiguity in terms of understanding the self, such as culture shock and identity confusion (Herman, 2015).

One of the inventions that define globalization is the Internet which has become an adolescent’s social life. Although the internet has been very convenient for communication, it has also brought about many “vulnerabilities to interpersonal manipulation” (Hermans, 2015). This is why, I would rather write things down on a diary where I can really express my true unfiltered feelings about my experiences without it being subject to judgement by the public.

Furthermore, this diary is an object that I can take comfort in when I am overwhelmed and stressed with my environment such as feeling homesick. Through writing, I can tap into my emotions to regulate it by releasing everything through writing and sharing my thoughts (Gross, 2008). Regulating one’s emotions is very important in being able to cope, most especially when under the circumstances of culture shock. Although emotions facilitate one’s adaptation to a new environment, it still must be regulated in order to continue functioning in the situation. This diary will remind me of home and reflecting on the patterns in the new environment which will continue to keep me grounded and adapted. The diary is a reminder of the values taught back home that I must continue to uphold as well as a medium that will help me adapt as I reflect on my entries as I continue to learn more about the culture (Hermans, 2015).

As for the object that I will send with my family is my everyday worn items such as watch, earrings, bracelets, and necklace – objects that I wear every single day. These are small objects that automatically reminds anyone at home of me. I chose this set of objects because sending an item that is very important to me, every now and then, will remind them of my presence that despite us being far apart across the globe, I am starting to get closer to coming back home. The very first one I will send is my watch as a countdown as the watch displays the number of days, hours, minutes, and seconds left that we will be apart from them. It is an object where the value decreases which means that I will be back sooner. This object will help my parents and siblings regulate their emotion because it is a means of reappraisal. In the Modal Model of Emotion, a step is cognitive change, one of which is reappraisal. This is a method in which one changes the meaning of the situation into something more positive or of at your advantage (Gross, 2008). Instead of preoccupying themselves with the number of days I have been away and the number of events I have missed back home, it is a lot easier to count the number of days left in order to change their mentality to looking forward to my return home. This is a way of turning the situation from something negative into something that is seen in a more positive light. Slowly, the other objects that are unique to me will find their way back home as a symbol that reassures them of my situation – being grounded and continuously keeping the values I value as nothing drastic has changed.

These objects will definitely contribute to my well-being as well as the well-being of my family despite having to live away from them for a long period of time. In fact, these items will help my family and I avoid the disadvantages and maximize the advantages that the situation has to offer.

References:

Gross, J.J. (2008). Emotion regulation. In Lewis, Haviland-Jones, and Barrett (eds.), Handbook of emotions. New York: The Guilford Press, pp. 497-512.

Hermans, H. (2015). Human development in today’s globalizing world: Implications for self andidentity. In Jensen (ed.), The Oxford Handbook of Human Development and Culture: An Interdisciplinary Perspective. New York NY: Oxford University Press. pp. 28-42.

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group7sa21-k-blog · 6 years

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Well being ( Tionloc ) According to Kahneman, the process of choosing which object I were to bring to the new environment that I am currently in if were to go back in time before leaving and what object I should send my family back home is being done by using system 2. Choosing these two objects is very hard. I couldn’t choose one instantly. It took me time to select what objects to choose. It wasn’t an instantaneous decision, but I have made up my mind. If I were to be somewhere far from my family and close friends, given the chance to choose something to bring with me, I would choose to bring my baseball bat. This wouldn’t be any ordinary bat. This baseball bat was given to me by an actual baseball player named Jonathan Murphy. It has his name engraved on it together with his signature. I know that this isn’t usually the sport that people from our country play. Most of the times, basketball is the sport of our country because of the materials needed and the geography. Basketballs aren’t hard to find and are relatively cheap. Baseball on the other hand is what most people from our country would call a rich man’s sport. Why? Well that’s just how our collective culture in the Philippines see it as., but I’m fine with it. I’m happy that the globalization that Hermans talks about in “Human development in today’s globalizing world” brought baseball to us. This sport has done many wonders for me. So when I see this bat, it gives me lots of personal memories. The bat reminds me of memories with my mom and dad because she was the one who forced me to play the sport that I learned to love. It reminds me of my siblings because we all play it. It reminds me of the many friends that I made while playing baseball my entire life. It’s nice to look back on these things when I feel lonely. For some, they want to get away from their family once they get old but I’m not quite like that. I guess it’s because of the culture I was exposed to which Mesquita, Boiger, De Leersnyder touched on. This way of thinking was formed because of what I was exposed to. And in addition to that it’s also because of the second attitude Foucalt cites. (positive valuation of private life that is the importance granted to family relationships). So what I’m trying to say is that this is a representation of my way of thinking. The way I was constructed both mentally and emotionally which again Mesquita, Boiger, and De Leersnyder talk about. I think the object that I want to send back home to my family and other loved ones would be my puka shell necklace. I would send this back home to my family because this was a patented Rymer accessory for a certain period of time. I want to give them something that was quite important or had a big enough impact in my life while I am away. The reason behind my selection is because my friend, who became my semester best friend, and I wanted to be like Channing Tatum and his new friend in 22 Jump Street. It was such a coincidence that I would find someone who had the same humor as me and my family. So having to see my friend everyday, was a great reminder of the culture I grew up in back home. Again, just like my bat, the second attitude that Foucault cites comes up. I value my family relationships show much that my choice of friends reflects on my culture of upbringing with my family. Together with this friend of mine, we would encounter different experiences and have so much fun together. But that was the problem. I wasn’t focused on my goal which was to get good grades in this new environment. So now I want to put behind me the past semester. I want to kind of make myself to have a more individualistic attitude as cited by Michael Foucault. I want to be more independent and more focused on me being an adult and being able to live by myself. I don’t want to be held back by family and I’m sure they don’t want to hold me back. I want to show that I am well capable of doing things on my own and that I am my own person. Because of what Mesquita, Boiger, and De Leersnyder say that our culture constructs our mental and emotional way of thinking, I won’t be able to escape my past, the way I am , and the way I am similar to my family but I don’t want to be a carbon copy of my family. I need to have my own thing as well and I think being more individualistic will help me accomplish that. So by giving them my puka shells, I am sending them what had happened the past few months and showing myself that I am moving on from that and heading towards a new path and hope to conquer.

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