Tumgik
guacamolebiscuits · 11 hours
Text
Tumblr media
what if the phineas and ferb caught perry when he was standing up but before he put on his fedora so since they dont know hes an agent they just assume he became sentient from one of the weird beams that keep going in their backyard and since they didnt find out about him being an agent he doesnlt get reasigned and he just walks around on two feet now and they give him coffee instead of water for breakfast
2K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Text
Tumblr media
semiaquatic secret agent
48K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Text
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
Friendly reminder that asking your lycan partner to turn you is incredibly insensitive! Seriously can we retire this trope already? Not only is it just offensive, but no one would ever actually choose this life! Lycanthropy is a curse. Full stop.
🐾 superhowllock69 Follow
Ok user "moon-moon" as if that original meme wasn't created to mock pack nomenclature 🙄
Anyway I'm not gonna touch that internalized lycanphobia with a ten foot pole. Being turned by your partner is something that can be incredibly intimate as long as both parties are consenting and the one being turned is 100% sure they want it. Literally the only downside to transforming once a month is the pain, but midol works just fine. No one with these "lycanthropy bad" takes ever wants to discuss the legitimate positives that come with this "curse" lmao.
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
I'm literally reclaiming moon moon but go off I guess. Anyways turning your partner is absolutely disgusting and morally reprehensible and anyone who does it should be muzzled permanently.
🌜 impawssible Follow
lmao my wife literally saved my life when she turned me but i guess she should be muzzled huh? we run through the woods hunting deer together and can each haul in groceries in one trip now, but nooo she's obviously a danger to society because she cares enough about me to help me when insurance wouldn't cover my medicine
also it was confirmed that the creator of that meme literally makes and sells silver bullets so if you still wanna use moon moon for yourself that certainly is a choice. source: (X)
🦴 pupperoni Follow
I love that instead of naming the more common benefits of lycanthropy, you mentioned that you and your wife can carry all the groceries in one trip. I think that's definitely a positive that gets overlooked far too often and I commend you for speaking your truth, sir
🌜 impawssible Follow
lol thanks but I'm a woman 😅
🦴 pupperoni Follow
Tumblr media
🦇 count-fuckula Follow
Plus werewolf blood tastes way better and is as filling as 10 humans 👍
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
Oh my GOD you vampblr freaks will just flock to anything. It clearly says "vamps DNI" in my bio!
🐾 superhowllock Follow
lmaoooo of course you're a vampire exclusionist
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
wasn't OP the same guy who said fursuits were offensive to lycanthropes and doxxed a werewolf fursuiter?
🐺 moon-moon4w00 Follow
They ARE offensive and harmful to this community and I'm tired of pretending they're not. They perpetuate harmful depictions of what a humanoid wolf is actually like.
🌜 impawssible Follow
me when I dox someone for making candy colored animal costumes that look nothing like what a real werewolf does
🦴 pupperoni Follow
K
🌕 daddy-fenris Follow
U
20K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Text
Hannah Montana is fucked up because its entire POINT as a show is that children should be protected from fame and exploitation, but it stars a REAL little girl that's being exploited. Nearly every episode carries the looming threat of Miley being outed as Hannah and losing her peaceful teenage life to the ravages of fame. Her father in the show (played by her own father in real life) wisely protected her from the trauma of fame by making her wear a disguise and live a rather quiet, interview-free life. Meanwhile the REAL Billy Ray Cyrus sold his daughter to Disney Channel when she was 11 and forced her to read dialogue about how terrible it would be to face the public eye. Like... Jesus, dude. The fictional Robby Ray is 10x the father, and it's not even close. (It's also IMMENSELY funny that her dad doesn't use his real name in the show, while she does. Almost like he wanted a bit of a disconnect between his identity and his character. Something Miley didn't get.)
20K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the evolution here is also a solid contender for meme of the year 2019
61K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Text
Tumblr media
the fact that op turned off rbs is very very funny to me. anyway i want this post on my blog too.
100K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation
119K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 12 hours
Text
As I gaze at the structural column in Copley Station, cracked nearly in two and held together with zip ties that have been carefully painted over to match the column underneath, I feel my soul intertwined with that of a small Italian boy of days gone by, who also stopped to look up at a large, groaning, newly painted tank full of molasses
15K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 14 hours
Text
Still really funny that Marvel named a movie “Endgame” and sold it as the final culmination of the MCU where they killed off two main characters and retired a third and then were shocked when people started loosing interest in the MCU after that
13K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 15 hours
Text
time to see if my old mpreg player works ahhh!!!
138K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 15 hours
Text
learning that apparently several hundred people have been pronouncing 'miette' as 'mighty' has actively worsened my day
Tumblr media
27K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 17 hours
Text
Highlights from the conference room where they nominated contenders for Word of the Year 2023:
• They put Skibidi Toilet on the projector to explain what “skibidi” means.
• Baby Gronk was mentioned.
• We discussed the Rizzler.
• “Cunty” was nominated.
• “Enshittification” was suggested for EVERY category.
• “Blue Check” (like from Twitter) was briefly defined as “Someone who will not Shut The Fuck Up”
• The person writing notes briefly defined babygirl as “referencing [The Speaker]”. He is now being called babygirl in the linguist groupchats.
• MULTIPLE people raised their hand to say “I cannot stress this enough: ‘Babygirl’ refers to a GROWN MAN”
81K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 17 hours
Text
my weirdest hobby is re-creating memes in html so i have a crisp, HQ version of them to use and edit whenever i need
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
371K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 2 days
Text
Tumblr media
24K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 2 days
Text
People talk about the surprise albums from people like Taylor Swift or Beyoncé that drop with zero warning but I have just been existing in this world where every album I've ever heard in my life has been a surprise album because I didn't know that musicians had schedules that we could see
147K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 2 days
Text
this post is dedicated to my mutuals who are still my mutuals despite the horrors
89K notes · View notes
guacamolebiscuits · 2 days
Text
Out of curiosity and also guilt over my own coffee intake. I wanna ask:
Now I'm not talking about when you're studying and so you drink 3x the usual amount or something like that. This isn't me asking what your record is. I'm talking about the most basic, average day, how many coffees you drink?
14K notes · View notes