gwiyo-mimi-blog

[gwiyo-mimi-blog]

I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

#I'm in love with this #can we PLEASE get a tv show

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my mum was telling me that when i was little there was a grasshopper on the car but i didn’t know what grasshoppers were called so i pointed at it and said “look at that handsome man”

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How to pronounce Celtic words and names

Step 1: Read the word. Step 2: Wrong.

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@tall people with long slender fingers: yall are the swans of the world. yall are so elegant. yall would be the majestic elves if we had em. meanwhile the rest of us tubby fingers would be over here wielding axes and growing beards, bc we're stubby little dwarves unlike you, you graceful beautiful creatures

[gwiyo-mimi-blog]

THE LEGENDARY STORY OF THE TROJAN HORSE DOES NOT INVOLVE THE GREEKS GIVING THE HORSE TO THE TROJANS AS A GIFT. THE GREEKS’ DECEPTION WAS ACTUALLY THAT THEY LEFT THE HORSE AS AN OFFERING TO THE GODDESS ATHENA. 

IN THE LEGEND, THEY BASICALLY SENT SOMEONE TO TROY TO SAY “THIS HORSE IS FOR ATHENA, NOT YOU, SO OUR RETREAT BACK TO GREECE IS SAFE. DON’T TRY TO TAKE IT. IT WON’T FIT THROUGH THE GATES OF YOUR CITY, SO THERE’S NO WAY YOU DICKS CAN STEAL IT AND PRETEND YOU GOT IT FOR ATHENA. NOT FOR TROJANS.”

AND THEN TROY WAS LIKE “YOU’RE NOT OUR DAD. WE WON THIS WAR AND WE’RE TAKING YOUR STUPID HORSE AS A TROPHY SO WE’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW BAD GREECE IS AT DESTROYING TROY.” 

AND A FEW TROJANS WERE LIKE “THIS IS A TRICK” AND TRIED TO EXPOSE IT AS A TRICK BUT THE REST OF THE TROJANS WOULD HAVE NONE OF IT BECAUSE EVERYONE WAS SWEPT UP IN THE THRILL OF VICTORY, AND ALSO BECAUSE THE GODS KEPT SENDING SNAKES TO STRANGLE ANYONE WHO SAID ANYTHING, BECAUSE THE GREEK GODS HAD NO WORD FOR “SUBTLETY”

THEN AT NIGHT ALL THE GREEKS JUMPED OUT OF THE HORSE LIKE “WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE THE HORSE, WHY ARE YOU SUCH PRIDEFUL DICKS” AND BURNED DOWN THE WHOLE CITY

[gwiyo-mimi-blog]

me seeing a dog doing literally anything: what a Cool Guy

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mad at nature on behalf of crabs

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*doesn’t show affection* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!

*shows affection* oh no, I’m making things awkward!!

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some of yall r SOOO sensitive!! and it’s a good way to be. u have big hearts. I love u

[gwiyo-mimi-blog]

Wait, does rapper B.o.B. really think the Earth is flat — or is he trolling us?

After claiming to have watched Felix Baumgartner’s famous Red Bull Stratos jump from the edge of space, recording artist B.o.B is furiously tweeting everything science says about the Earth being round is a total lie. Why is he doing this? We have an idea.

Follow @the-future-now​

[gwiyo-mimi-blog]

Hayao Miyazaki (animated) posters by podrickforking

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I’m always a slut for libraries with beautiful architecture

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Penguin Emoji Review by a Penguin Expert

Because “Penguins are the Pinnacle of Dinosaur Evolution” (Thomas Holtz) 

Just a head? Why just a head?! You literally took the generic bird emoji and colored it differently. Can’t even tell what kind of penguin it’s supposed to be. They were probably going for King but it’s too ambiguous for my tastes. And that beak is too short for a king! There are short peaked penguins out there that they could have overlayed on the generic bird emoji, this is like they weren’t even trying. 4/10 

The Little Penguin! A good boy, a fine boy, a happy boy! They picked a happy chub. 100/10 

Okay, I can definitely tell that that’s supposed to be a King, so an improvement on Apple. But it’s so… blocky? Penguins are smooth, man. Streamlined. For ocean movement. You dig? 5/10 

A smol friend! There aren’t a whole hecka lot of penguins that are grey as adults but this could be the White-Flippered Penguin, a close relative of the Little Blue. Props for picking a not very well known penguin! It doesn’t have an orange beak though. Gotta take off points for that. Could be a Yellow-Eye, but their feathers aren’t that grey, and their beaks are pink, not orange. 6/10

Generic Penguin. Could be anything. They are a mystery. How can we know they deserve our trust? Why is their top beak so much longer than the bottom? 2/10

WHY IS THEIR SMILE GOING OUTSIDE OF THE BEAK AREA DO THEY KNOW HOW BIRD MOUTHS WORK -100/10

Generic Penguin, but Friendlier. Can’t really see the sides of it’s head for proper IDing, but it has orange feet and an orange bill. Might be a Gentoo except it’s head is too white in the wrong place? 3/10

These are the mysteries. No orange patches to indicate it’s an Emperor or a King; orange feet but no white patch on the head to make it a Gentoo; no weird cranial ornamentation for the bulk of orange footed penguins. Who is she? What penguins have yellow beaks? 1/10

ITS EYES, THEY HAVE NO PUPILS. HOW DOES PENGUIN SEE. -17.8/10

Another White-Flippered Penguin with… a chinstrap? Come on, guys. You’re not even really trying. I don’t. These don’t match any penguins. 1/10

I do enjoy the nose detail, I do, but once again you see you have ORANGE FEET and an orange beak and NO CRANIAL ORNAMENTATION so we don’t KNOW WHO YOU ARE. People just don’t know any penguins anymore. 3/10

Holy crap. Make that beak longer and it’s an actual Emperor. We finally got there, people. 10/10

#this penguin expertise