h00d-witch

[h00d-witch]

And just like that I saw God again

I looked at the mess of my surroundings

Smiling instead of crying

Knowing the mess is no longer mine

No longer chained to the consequences of my past relationships

I am free… and I am

Grateful

[h00d-witch]

Darketh my insides

The energy is absent

I think of the crystals

Waking the ZZZZ

Missing you

I’m so lonely

Calling for your name

Wondering where the start

Feeling like I’ve just found void

Crawled out myself too many times

Waiting for you to come get me out

[h00d-witch]

Dear diary

I spent the another day romanticizing

Getting high

I couldn’t score but I did my best

And I lived away from all the rest

Without even using it

Just in thinking about it

Somehow two days

Two days I have missed

[h00d-witch]

As I walked my feet to the Powerball ticket

I turned my head and looked inside the businesses

I could see only people smiling and laughing

I could only see people full of joy and happiness

And in that, I could not relate

[h00d-witch]

The yellow fire hydrant

A white Toyota and chirping birds

I keep score of each sound

Cardboard, tar, and glass

Indian style I sit on the pavement

Gods herb in the left hand

The devils electronic in the right

I question my fate

Your safety vs mine

You’re scared but I hate

A woman dressed in blankets passes me by

Her footsteps are soft though she’s hurting inside

[h00d-witch]

This feeling of a deep, dark despair couldn’t compare

To her or who she was or what she had

But what it could compare to is the sorrow that was felt that one day

I can attest to the fact that it feels like that

My nose seems like it’s always running, and my eyes dry

But if there’s one thing I’m not doing, it’s asking myself why

Because I know 

[h00d-witch]

Today & always, in this moment and in the next: I am grateful for the following…

I am grateful for my apartment

I am grateful for the sun that shines every day

I am grateful for my mother and my sister and my father

I am grateful for the divine spirit that has created all that I see and experience

I am grateful for the love that I express and the love that I receive

I am grateful for my boyfriend Richard, and I am grateful for our companionship

I am grateful for the money that I do make

I am grateful for all of the marijuana I smoke

I am grateful for all of the trips I take & the walks I walk

I am grateful to watch movies and TV each night in bed

I am grateful for the growth in me that has developed

I am grateful for my intelligence and my angels

And most importantly, I am grateful for my life

[h00d-witch]

Rock Candy

Tiny little babies in my pink bubble

Saying goodbye to all my troubles

And inviting in the crazy fairy

Haven’t hurt this bad in so long

Who Knows, I Can’t Feel Anything Anyway

But when I do get the chance to feel again

Come tomorrow it’ll be STARLIGHT ⭐️

[h00d-witch]

And just like that

I’m pouring my guts onto the pavement

And just like that my hearts in two

Everything I thought I knew

I need an Angel to carry me

My wings are broken from your words

I can no longer fly

I am nothing

[h00d-witch]

He won’t touch me

My soft legs I shave for him

It’s like I’m so undesirable to him

Every part of my being and body

Sometimes I truly feel that way

A stream of rejection under the sun

There was a time that he couldn’t keep his hands off of me

Now he pushes my hand away

I feel torn and dark and under the dirt like I’ve already been buried

But I don’t know what he’s waiting for

I guess it’s not me

[h00d-witch]

I wish I was dead

Away from here

Don’t shed a tear

Take the wheel and steer

Cuz I’m gone

[h00d-witch]

Middle of the day I heard your first lie

A shock in my soul as I whispered my screams

Shouting “No” in silence ; Wishing for me self violence

It was a needle and it was them

A relative of the past in a dark era from a cunt that shot me in the feet so I couldn’t walk

You emptied this on me in between other white lies and the truth moves around but it’s the truth I know now

And it’s already bad enough

[h00d-witch]

Feels like new dark mode

I hate this new you

Oh like a remembering

You break my trust

The betrayal and the hiding

Well, don’t awaken it in me

Because the urge to be sneaky like you is

IRRESISTIBLE

[h00d-witch]

I feel cold and alone

The feeling of touch is like how sour Candy hits

It’s this electric zing of fear that tingles the same as your belly button being pushed

What is this? And what is changing within me? Like a light switch that’s been turned on and I’m experiencing the nerve to do something wrong

[h00d-witch]

Feels like a game of clue

Cuz somethings missing

I don’t know what to do

Where do I start

Before I tear it apart ?

[h00d-witch]

Tiny little sketches

He draws me these love letters in tiny little sketches

I think about the time Rich had his head on his shoulders and his feet on the ground

It really only ever lasted a day or two

And even though I have more reason to doubt

I keep holding on because he’s the only love I’ve ever known

What it feels like to share the same pain and feel what it’s like to be the other

It’s not so hard for me to take a walk in Rich’s shoes

Maybe because I’ve already worn them and wore them until I wore them out

Funny isn’t it? How a shoe depicts the emotions and experiences in a Birds Eye view

I think it’s time I accept that things may never change

And that way, if they do, it surprises me and becomes that much more enjoyable

But I just can’t let go

That’s my man

[h00d-witch]

With all of this tumbling crusade, darkness and lightness surrounding me… I question my reality and what is true and what is for me. I am seeking an answer to all of the questions, of not just mine, but of yours, and of ours. I am sending a vibration of hope out into the earth and awaiting it’s retrieval as to complete the cycle of what has been and what should be. I am calling in the awareness and the light of the higher beings and pestering them with impatience and impurities. I ask them, “heal me, and speed up time” for I cannot wait - and I cannot lose another month of this repeat rhythm of our matrix.