halfyearsqueen

[halfyearsqueen]

@belayadeath : There are two sides of a story. 

she did not disagree. it would have been a display of abominable naivety to think her stepmother would not fight for her own son—the boy whom societal precedent and repeated rule would have set over her. first, with her grandsire, and with her own father. and yet…she thinks little of those years, any longer. the early ones. and yet she could not quite forget the confusion she had felt upon hearing those questions. a childish, foolish sensitivity to the oddest bit of rejection ( she had called her daughter, then, too. and yet they were not mother and daughter. and never would be. ) that first citing of the great council of 101, a reminder that no daughter should come before son, and even without a son—a brother should come before a daughter. she only wished that perhaps her own fight was not deemed little more then a continued slight. that though for some she was a heedless girl that had turned into a proud, stubborn woman with a title grasped between dragon claws, one that she had stolen from her younger half brothers – one that would have well passed had their father been a different man. she had at the least earned the right to fight for herself.

and so the court of king viserys had fractured in turn; split and reshaped itself into factions dressed in greens, and blacks. lords, ladies and landed knights all choosing between the princess or the queen. as it always tended, at court. the whispers had begun. two sides indeed to every story, but what did the truth matter, when there was perception ? perception was singularly devastating when it set its sights upon you. a weapon levying a far more lingering impact if it was the least bit believed. rumours and gossip that carried the cadence of a hiss, the bite of a rearing snake. try as she might, she had yet to learn of an adequate way to wipe its poisonous stain from her skin. sometimes all she wished, was for the impenetrable hide of a dragon. then, perhaps the insults would not dig inward but ricochet off - impact as light as the brush of a hand. it would be her strength that was admired. even, if they did not believe her worthy of it, they would not be able to strip her of it. no matter what could possibly be said. that she could take flight when the weight bore too heavily inward was in itself, a gift.

she wonders what was said about bianca. if those who did not understand why she lived so long— those who did not care to listen, as nothing more than a witch. an oddity that had no place amongst them. silver white lashes flutter for the briefest of moments as her bearing straightens, near imperceptibly. to lack even a degree of perfection, could be dire in court environs. yet they were friends, were they not ? of a kind. even though they had not known each other long. formalities were not wholly necessary between the two of them, were they ? rueful smile taking shape upon the princess’ lips as eyes cut the side, nodding her head in silent assent, “ yet it all depends on whom might tell their story first, does it not ? some would sooner believe a tale was true, with little regard to acknowledge its potential for falsehoods, “ or mind the damage that might result from the spread. voice kept low as the girl’s voice softens, not wanting to be heard by anyone else. “ as often as it suits them, i am sure. some will not see both sides as long as it serves, my lady. no matter how evil it may well be. “

#belayadeath #v. the heir to the iron throne

[halfyearsqueen]

@stormbcrn : ❝ He is still the true king. ❞ / for your got verse!

the words should not grate near as much as they do. what did that matter, in essos amongst the grass sea ? when robert baratheon sat their father’s throne ? when his brother held dragonstone ? what need had they to follow his will, even now ? beyond the loyalty one might extend to one’s kin, to be wholly beholden to the order and word of their brother — who bore not a crown, but the promise of one. he had bargained with their sister to receive it. she draws in a ragged breath. forcing clenched fingers to loosen, brushing them down her thighs to smooth the fabric flat. what good was a crown at such a cost ? westeros was a far off dream - spoken in whispers across a dimming fire. further and further as the years passed and they remained where they were. and the usurper remained where he was. the breath catches beneath her ribs, catches and calcifies and lights, and burns where it laid trapped beneath the bone. even now she cares for her twin, but she had cared for daenerys like a daughter. had tried to honor the memory of their mother, guided by the fading imprint of her gentleness ( near wiped away by the years in exile. she hasn’t the time to dwell within the memories of a pleasanter time long. and yet even then, the shadow of their father. the hand rest upon her twin brother’s shoulder, and the pride that always made her feel unendingly cold. )

dragons, too, are the dreams of a childhood long dead — the remnants of the ancient power as stony and as quiet as the eggs that sit in her sister’s velvet lined box. treasured more so then any of her other wedding gifts. and yet it feels as if an inferno has taken root in her belly; not at daenerys, never at her sister. her twin had married her off without even a word spared to her.

pale lilac eyes raise, worn with weariness that more often then not lay buried beneath a kind word and an idle stroke of the younger’s hair — carefully braided out of the girl’s face with the offering of a half hearted assurance that though she could not prevent the tide from turning against them. could not prevent the marriage, or keep her from it - she would not leave her. she would never leave her. “ kings, are only as strong as the armies that gather behind them, and fly their banners. “ she answers finally, “ the people, who may support them. any might declare themselves king, if they wear a crown. “ he was their father’s lawful heir, yes. and the true king by right. but it was not king aerys that sits the iron throne. and the succession would not be quite so simple as that. “ and yet here, both depend on your husband’s will. he has not the weight of the iron throne behind his words, and will. he needs people, now more then ever to cement his rule. he needs their support. “ many of whom like did not relish the thought of a second rebellion within their lifetimes.

“ the dragons are gone, sister, “ her voice is soft, the slightest inflection of something close to grief present in her tone. they had been gone for near a century before the last of them had fallen. slain at the trident. brave and noble rhaegar. felled by the usurper himself. “ he is only a man, and he must prove amongst many that he is the true king. and worthy of the title. it would have been a given, before — but now, it is not so simple. now, it must be earned. “ they would not be the conquerors. they had no dragons to mount, and naught else would have made them any different from the others who vied for power. not any more. “ it must be earned with steel and force of arms. through fire and blood. “

#stormbcrn #ANSWERED . #v. game of thrones

[halfyearsqueen]

THE MUSKETEERS 2014-2016

#aes. quick to anger and never forgot a slight

[halfyearsqueen]

rhaenyra selling her crown for safe passage for she and aegon iii

#the way she’d hate to know her legacy is ‘ sacrificing’ her sons for the crown because she never wanted that #she never wanted any of it to go the way it went and like . #and like she couldn’t prevent the losses of her other children #but she willingly sacrifices her crown to get her and aegon to their home where she assumed they’d be SAFE #she viewed the iron throne as security for herself and for her children and didn’t really consider giving up the crown at first because ? #she didn’t trust the greens to keep their promise to leave them alone after constant opposition 😭 #and like she doesn’t hold her siblings culpable for it because they’re still #children to her #even now they’re children 😭 like daeron still is but all the rest ? they’re adults and she still views them as children #but after luke dies😭 her immediate reaction is to end the war #it’s to sacrifice her pride and her ambition to save the remainder of her children

[halfyearsqueen]

WHAT GHOST HAUNTS YOU ?

the ghost of impurity. you are covered in filth. you can feel it as another layer of skin that spreads over your body like a disease. you wish so much to be lovely, to be easy on the eyes, but something haunts you so closely that you are incapable of ever being human again. what wretched thing entered your life to stain you with such colors? what was it that cut you open, what was it that kept the wound from closing? you were the sacrificial lamb. you were thrown into the fire. it was emilie autumn who wrote, “you robbed me of my life. i could’ve been human - i could’ve been alive, but you took my heart and murdered it. you made me into this.”

#OH ??? oh - #‘ you are covered in filth. You can feel it like another layer of skin ‘ #her situation is so endlessly horrible because like whatever happened or didn’t happen doesn’t matter as long as the perception something #did sticks #and like they just get more explicit 😭 and she can’t wipe it away #she cant escape it . And the implication she is a ‘ loose’ / ruined woman is something that sticks with her until she dies #and purity culture is so rampant in Westeros the idea she IS impure is more dangerous then her being incapable as a future queen #she’s the whore because she got groomed by grown men #the idea she can’t ever be human again #she’s a thing that can be desired or picked apart into little pieces #and she’s also ? #she’s a symbol for change she’s viserys little girl and she tries her best to be perfect to attempt to measure up to what #and who the people who have given her their loyalty expect her to be #we’ll never know what she would’ve been capable of as queen because she never had a chance #because everything about her was twisted and spun to be viewed as impure or sullied in some way #and her detractors saw her potential reign as a way daemon could rule THROUGH her

[halfyearsqueen]

NEW YEAR, NEW FONTS — @usergif's typography challenge DAY 1: Layer Styles

Of course the love is still there. Still. Still. Still.

#vis. bright and bold and beautiful as only one of dragon's blood could be

[halfyearsqueen]

@drakonprince : aegon the dragonbane — [when fear drives destruction.]   what is my muses greatest fear, and why or how has that fear been instilled in them?   how do they react when faced with that fear?how does it impact their daily life?

her greatest fear is ? failure. in so many versions of the word her biggest fear is the idea of failing the people she loves, of failing the people who had given her their loyalty and placed themselves on her side. people she has a duty to, in her eyes ( her mother, her father, her allies, her family as the future head of house targaryen, and no one more then her children. ) she’s afraid of being proven worthless or lacking in someway, that somehow she is replaceable. she’s been given an opportunity that is so unexpected now that she has it, if she’s loses it, she thinks it’s because she didn’t do enough to compensate for the fact she’s not a boy. and that that is going to be the surmountable hurdle that no amount of hard work can possibly overcome. she doesn’t view the societal precedence of male primogeniture as something that is holy impossible to overcome, (it is going to be a long drawn out process and she knows she’s meant to be a trial run, and if she fails, then what ? ) Because she was placed in that role officially, her father opened that door for her, he made it so that hurdle is passable. And he did give her a very massive burden to take up, and it definitely leaves her in a rock and a hard place situations a lot more often than not, but he also has given her a gift that she wants to prove wasn’t a mistake in giving to her. that it wasn’t a wrong choice in keeping her as his heir, even after he had three legitimate sons, she has to remain in his good graces to remain his air because that’s what’s keeping her in her position. But she also wants her father to be proud of her because she loves him and it is an opportunity to prove her worth in such a monumental way.she wants ? to prove to the realm that even though aemma didn’t give viserys a son, she still gave him his rightful heir, and that she did do her duty in that sense, and that even if she didn’t give the realm a son she gave them their first queen regnant and like ? that’s a lot of why she fights as hard as she does early on - because she wants aemma’s pain and suffering to matter. she doesn’t want the people who have supported her and have staunchly backed her claim to feel foolish and having done so by choosing the princess over the prince and siding against the hand in the queen.

and like when she has children ? so much of her fears recenter themselves and refocus on them. like she's afraid during her pregnancies that something could happen and she wouldn't carry the baby to term, or that they would die in the cradle, and very soon after they're born the questions / allegations about their illegitimacy begin. and their illegitimacy is dangerous to them. they could be exiled at best, and then ? her ability to provide for them dwindles. like she is fully aware of the dangers that such a thing would put them through when she conceives them, but she also knows that like ? she has to have heirs, and she has to have them personally, or her position becomes extraordinarily shaky. especially whenever aegon had sons of his own. and like ? we know luke had his own knife at the age of four, in the book. this four year old child was given live steel presumably to defend himself with and again, he's four. there isn't going to be a lot of time that she's away from her children, but she clearly feared for their physical safety enough that she deemed it a necessary choice to make to give it to him. and like whatever prompted that decision, whether it was just the consistency of the rumors that led her to believe that people might believe she was actually placing a pretender who didn't deserve to inherit the throne on the throne - and if that could lead to them being harmed in some way. we know that joffrey was in training circa the age of two. she can ? get incredibly ruthless in defending them from those allegations because in her mind it is that potentially detrimental for them ( see : the vaemond incident ) which was the first instance where she was ever accused overtly in public of harwin being their father ' officially' in the sense of it wasn't just her little brother calling her sons 'strongs'. it was an actual official accusation of treason. and she’s honestly afraid more then anything after the fear for their lives that they are going to grow up and resent her for the fact that they can’t escape the allegations of bastardy either — that they are going to think negatively of her in the long run for not even feeling guilty for having had them.

when it comes to most every other fear, she has a habit of internalizing it. or only really letting it out through her hands whether it be twisting her rings or compulsively adjusting her sleeves. anything to keep her anxieties and fears on the inside so she can curate her reactions to have control over them and so she doesn’t express as much vulnerability to anyone who might be watching her. it was instilled in her through experience, through the fact that she does care so much about being perceived as worthy of her place. and before she accepted the fact some people would never have a nice word to say about her in regards to it like. she had a very bad time grappling with things that her detractors would say about her and how the comments on her worth would almost always center around her purity and how it was wholly irrelevant to her worth as prospective ruler, and how it was staining her reputation, staining her more then anything she said or did. because it felt wholly inescapable . and like honestly when she IS faced with those fears as she ages it does get easier to manage and to respond to without leaving such a diminishing blow on her - because the only criticism she really ? holds in high esteem any longer are the people she knows at least do want to help her and not just take shots at her. but like in her day to day ? she’s mentally keeping track on how she behaves, on how she walks, and how she talks, if she’s being watched, who’s watching and why. dragonstone is the only place where she’s really ? calm and at ease in regards to how she handles things because it is a place that’s wholly under her control she doesn’t have people that constantly combat against her to where every little thing can be used as potential ammunition against her . fears about her kids however, are things that she never really gets better at handling as time goes on. she has a habit of lashing out when she feels they’re threatened by something, or insulted in some way . their worth and how they’re perceived at court is something that is a lot easier to land to generate a reaction from her. because as far as she’s concerned they didn’t do anything to deserve it people whispering about their legitimacy and referring to them as ‘ common’ . they didn’t do anything to deserve the whispers about them the way she did.

#like her confidence and her boldness calcifies as time goes on it it doesn’t erode #because it is very much her own armor #and she was made heir at a point in her life where she never would’ve considered the throne a personal loss if viserys waited until he #remarried to name an heir and replace daemon #and she couldn’t really do anything about it but learn to want it because she doesn’t want to disappoint him #she wanted to be important to the crown before aemma died but even though people were whispering about naming her heir #she didn’t consider it with any degree of seriousness #because daemon existed and surely ? surely her father wouldn’t do something so ultimately polarizing in placing a girl #as his heir and doing so officially #she had a structured comfortable life as a princess and people by and large adored the fact she was so visible to them #but then she actually had to prove herself useful and that was - a different story #she didn’t want it until she does and then failure becomes a singularly impossible concept #infant death / #miscarriage /

[halfyearsqueen]

difficulty vs likable person test

tagged by: taken from @hexsreality

tagging: @lcerys , @highevar , @feminants ( whatever muse ! ) , @daecaerys , @wolfkiler , @shemisery

#the callousness and dominance really said ⬇️⬇️⬇️ #but also woof this fits #with my idea that she does ? she’s a woman with no shortage of flaws but she has more positives then she has negatives #no but I’m 😭 actually that the suspicion is the highest of her worst traits and happiness and honesty are the lowest on her best

[halfyearsqueen]

— I hate the gods for making me as they did. —I do not. You are a honorable man. With a good heart. It's a rare thing.

Rhaenyra + Leanor Relationship | House of The Dragon — season I

#&&&. an honorable man with a good heart . | laenor

[halfyearsqueen]

Am I your dream girl?

Sacred and Profane Love, Baglione | Amor Vincit Omnia, Caravaggio | Dream Girl Evil, Florence + The Machine

#aes. quick to anger and never forgot a slight

[halfyearsqueen]

Devrim Lingnau as Elisabeth von Wittelsbach One’s Place in the World, The Empress

#aes. quick to anger and never forgot a slight

[halfyearsqueen]

from interview conducted through the man-eater's throat by george david clark, published in reveille poems

[Text ID: I swore I was safe, and yet, I was eaten. /End ID]

#aes. quick to anger and never forgot a slight

[halfyearsqueen]

deep breath in through her nose, and out, through her mouth— a rueful hand rubbing the side of her belly with near absentminded tenderness. back leaning heavily against cushions. it pinches, every so often. more then usual. little pinpricks of pain, not unfamiliar, but lasting longer then they had with her first babe ( those had begun to ebb with simple ministrations; or a walk. a bit of rest. always fading within a span of time that she had surpassed ) had something gone wrong ? she could bear the pain, if the babe were alright. she would bear the discomfort, if the babe were healthy. lady alayne had said she was still two moons shy of full term, she could not be in labour now. her mother had done so, twice before. two pregnancies ended well before their term. memories of her own girlhood, of her queen mother. of attempts for sons. she could not remember a time where the burden of it was …. that she did not attempt to carry out what was expected of her. now more then ever she misses her, the memory of aemma arryn had served as something of a guiding star of what it meant to well and truly be a mother. she had not imagined that she might truly need a mother any longer after she had become one herself. had not imagined it would be a thing she needed, or wanted. wanted more then most anything. she wanted her mother, and she wanted her baby with her. both of them, once she’d found out she was truly alright. fire from the carefully tended stone fireplace casts a warmth that settles upon the layered velvet of her gown. it is a warmth that comforts, though not wholly. the chamber door opens, and her head turns, eyes widening slightly in relief - at the sight of both a midwife, and the sight of her. she liked maerys, she had grown comfortable in her presence. and it had been she who had promised her in those brief, frightening moments after jacaerys had been born — where the silence had split a deafening crack through the princess' heart, that he was alive.

one hand sets behind her, the other curls securely around her belly as she eases herself upward into an upright sitting position, nose wrinkling with the effort. " i thought it was normal, " voice faint, near distracted, mounting unease racing toward the surface and threatening to breech in a way she had never allowed it to. she cares little for displays of strength, and has neither the mind nor the mood to worry to smother it. “ it happened, with jacaerys - but it most usually stops before now. it is not my labours, i do not think. i think i would know that, at the least — is it natural ? that it might be prolonged ? nothing has gone wrong ? “ pad of her thumb strokes the spot over the little flutter. less intense then even mere moments before. “ it has calmed, a bit. ‘tis more uncomfortable then, truly painful. that is… good is it not ?”

"I came as fast as I could!", Mae panted as she entered the princess' chambers. She had been called by one of the maids with the news that the young woman might be in labor, but she had been in the middle of another birth and unable to drop everything the same second. Luckily, the babe had come a few minutes later and Maerys had left the after care to another midwife present, so she could head to the princess. After having delivered Rhaenyra's first son, the two women had grown familiar with each other and Maerys liked tending to her very much, even though Rhaenyra had called her a cunt several times during the birth of Jacaerys - something she had chosen to overlook and they now laughed about it. Despite being a princess, Rhaenyra was always kind and never haughty or unpleasant towards any servants, which Maerys appreciated greatly, so she ensured that the princess got the best care possible.

Brushing an errand strand of hair out of her face, she smiled at Rhaenyra. "So, what's the current situation? Tell me everything." She could have asked the maids, but preferred to hear it from the woman in question herself, because second hand reports were never as precise.

@halfyearsqueen liked for a starter from Mae

#wcrriorhearts #v. the heir to the iron throne #pregnancy / #infant loss / #miscarriage ment tw /

[halfyearsqueen]

she has aged a century since the circlet of seven precious stones was set upon her brow. it is the crown of the conciliator, the crown of her king father, and now the crown of a queen. her half brother casting the illusion of the conqueror come again—his name, his sword, his crown. as if it might cement the gaps in the legitimacy to his ascent to power, as if the realm might forget whom it was the king had named his rightful successor ( and then, some of them had, had they not ?it is a bitter thought ) none could have accounted for the arrival of her own crown, and it is the oddest sort of feeling. an absence and a hollow finding. a painful jape. to have the crown that should have been hers, would have been bestowed upon her properly once she ascended, stolen and reclaimed. stolen as her title had been stolen. as her daughter had been stolen. as her son had been stolen ( it is that, and only that, that has no possibility of redress, no possibility of reclamation. of return, no way to recover he who stood more precious to her then all of it. to at least consign him to the flames and lay him to rest as she had her visenya ) his absence she cannot forgive. the cruelty that had robbed her of him. and perhaps she had been a fool to believe her siblings would accept her terms of peace. that perhaps they had not truly chosen at all to take part in the treason of their elders. swayed by the machinations of their grandsire, that they had not wanted the throne. not truly. even though all of their mother's allies had claimed it had been denied them. she has not slept well since the news had reached. pieces of her son's mount had washed ashore shipbreaker bay, three days since she had last seen him - dead by the first. if she closes her eyes again, who knew what might have been wrenched from her loosened fingers. wan, and weary, and aching, yet the queen stands at the head of the painted table upright, eyeing the woman led in and announced by her queensguard.

one of the more outrageous stops upon her progress to secure a suitor of her own — a match deemed acceptable. she could smile, and nod, and give compliments, and thanks to those who had come to court her. yet there had always been somthing particularly grating about a child pressing their suit for her hand. red curling hair, and brown eyes. a woman grown, even then. she had been kind enough to the impatient princess. a storm, she thinks. the illegitimate child of the lord of stonehelm. vassal lords to the stormlands that she had arrived at all was a surprise. she was alone, however. and her lips pinch, nodding once. gestures with a hand to join her where she stands, " and what of the lord and lady swann ? has your father sent you in his stead to serve as messenger ? " perhaps she had, truly come alone. if she had, it was admirable. and such loyalty to her true queen would be rewarded in due course. no guard had came with her bearing her father's house's heraldry. a raven had not been sent in return forewarning her arrival.it is not a surprise, and yet the revelation of each house that has since turned their cloak to her ... whether in claiming that the oaths they had sworn her had since grown stale, in siting the great council - it strengthens her resolve. it leaves her limbs feeling evermore leaden. " my summons no longer covers the whole truth of it, i'm afraid, " she says faintly. her summons had been a call to arms should they not settle it peacefully. war a possibility, not a certainty. all she had wanted to avoid, for the good of her children. for the good of her siblings, and theirs. there is no man or woman so accursed as the kinslayer. an act that was an untenable affront to all no matter if one worshipped the old gods, or the new. she is too weary to weep any longer, too tired already and it has yet to truly begin.

" my son is dead, and my half brother is responsible. he committed the singlemost unspeakable act, and must be made to answer for it, " her voice shakes, rage simmers within the queen's veins. and she swallows the bile that rises in her throat. soon enough, she knew, he would be gone, too. the promise of vengeance is blood soaked, fine pointed claws. gaping, snapping maw. a monstrous, ugly thing to want. uglier still when speaking of her own blood. it would bring no relief, it was all that was keeping her standing. she could turn and go back the way she had came with none the wiser to where she had fled, if she chose to leave. she knew naught of her plans, or that of her allies. the queen lifted her chin, looking aloria storm in the eye, " it will not get better. you may leave, if you wish. i shall bear no ire against you for it, but neither will i allow you to stay without the whole truth of it. " if one could help it, brother should not war against sister. kin should not battle kin. " there shall be war, with absolute certainty. and if your father and brothers chose to fight for the usurper, they will have made an enemy of me. and you, " the last word is softer, near sympathetic.

eight days on the stormy sea, travelling entirely by ship (a hijacked ship, at that) and avoiding land at any cost, for fear that her family might be returning from the capital and catch her in the act; not that a carriage on the kingsroad would have shortened her journey any. yet, arduous as it was, she has finally arrived to dragonstone. unpresentable to a queen of the realm, no doubt, and reeking of too many foul smells to name, but in one piece nonetheless.

is it treason, what she's done? certainly, she's disgraced herself in the eyes of her house, but then, what regard had it held her in to begin with? and surely, in order to be considered treason, ought one not be betraying their sworn sovereign? aloria does not agree that the targaryen who sits the iron throne now fits that title, no matter what her stepmother might spew, or what her father obtusely agrees with.

"your grace," spine turns to stone for the briefest of moments as she stands across from @halfyearsqueen, until she regains control of her senses and bows her head, knees following soon after to offer up an inelegant curtsy. "i wish it were under more pleasant circumstances that our paths have again crossed," a difficult task indeed, to somehow be worse than the royal progress all those years ago, when the then-princess was forced to endure all the eligible bachelors that the kingdom had to offer –– two swanns among them. though far from graceful were they, aloria's juniors by close to a decade, and four and seven years younger than the princess herself. "but i set out as soon as the summons reached stonehelm."

#feminants #v. the dance of the dragons #child death /

[halfyearsqueen]

" it will never come to that, " celtigar insisted, " the usurper will have no choice but to oppose us with his own dragons, our nine must surely overwhelm his four” ( …. ) “at what cost?” princess rhaenyra wondered, " my sons will be riding three of those dragons, i remind you "

her chief concern during the first black council was never the impact of dragon vs dragon, it was the implication that her children would be expected to fight in the battle, and she worried that the cost of that was too high

#like joff was eleven ? Joffrey was eleven😭 #and like daemon was the worrying about dragon against dragon #and like it’s implied stormcloud was also considered to add to that #but was deemed too small 😭 just like moondancer was #and like ? aegon iii was barely eight. 😭

[halfyearsqueen]

@lcerys: “ how do you feel about your father ? “ ( Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?" Can be an idea, person(s), place, or thing, and they'll have to answer honestly. )

the question makes the woman pause. it was an amalgamation of differing, warring emotions —helplessness and frustration measured against a daughter’s devotion, and an heir’s desire to be found worthy ( despite. despite the very fabric of her being a point against her - despite her father having three sons, and a wife that urged for the appointment of their son. ) he had not faltered in his defense of her, and to that she was forever grateful to him. but she wondered, oft, whether or not he wished he had waited, if only to save himself from such an impossible choice. an uphill battle that only seemed to worsen with the passage of time. he could hold to his own choice, before lords and landed knights, maesters and septons. but she feared what might happen when it came to choosing between those he cared for. and she remembers just how discomfiting the tension between ser otto and her uncle had been for him — worsened tenfold between his wife and daughter.

“ my father is a kind man, “ she says, “ who longs only for peace between the people he loves –—and it is for that reason, I worry that he sometimes believes he has erred. it would not have been an issue, if he had waited. and he would not need to worry on my own feelings on the matter, for I would not have expected myself a candidate. he is stronger, then many and more believe him to be. i have always believed it so. but he wants to be loved, above all; as king, that can be a devastating weakness, “ she pauses, and takes a breath, “ he has always defended my claim, no matter if it is his wife, chiefly, who calls for the installment of their son. no matter the contention it brings his marriage. he has always defended my children against the implications that plague them – i do not need him to do any more then what he has. but I regret the pain it has caused; the pain it will, cause. i had never intended it to be a choice between the two of us. “ though now she knows that it must be. she thinks of her brothers, briefly. boys she had known in her youth, and her youngest brother - daeron. who was little more then a stranger. a distance she regrets, as a woman grown. and one that she could not hope to remedy, yet. “ i worry how my half brothers might feel. and though it is not one, how could a child not take it a rejection ? “ she certainly had, with their mother. but she could neither back down now as she could then, when the questions had begun. “ he is their father, as well. it is perhaps even worse to be made to chose between one’s children; and yet if he were any other, I am sure, it would not be one — “ with one son, much less three of them. “ he longs for peace, amongst us. and for his sake, and for my own, I do hope to achieve it upon my ascension. but the iron throne is not a thing one might easily move past being robbed of. “

“ there is a path that exists, where all of it will be worth it. surely they cannot remain wrothful if I too lift them up — i do not wish to be their enemy. “ but neither too can she seem to escape such a malignant name. “ i want, more then anything to honor his will, and wishes for us, i fear that will be nigh on an impossibility. that all that will satisfy will be my relinquishing of my own right. “

#lcerys #ANSWERED .

[halfyearsqueen]

“I am just a poor woman, without a crown, a country, a people...”

Camille Rutherford as Mary Stuart in Mary Queen of Scots (2013)

#aes. quick to anger and never forgot a slight