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somebody get that girl a large sized beverage before she loses it completely

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Girls will be like “oh I’m just running quick some errands” and then spend all day in the wetlands appreciating the unique flora and fauna

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Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

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DYKE!

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when the first drop of rain falls on my bottom lip… 😳 like are we gonna fuck orrrr

#a beautiful thing

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unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here

#in honor of the season

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WIAT THE SONGS ACTUALLY CALLED FORTNIGHT

#I THOUGH YOU GUYS WERE MESSING W ME WHAT

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happy 420 baby girls <3 remember to smoke so much weed that you throw up and think ur gonna die <3

#smoking w my beloved gf and their roommate and then later me and my gf are having a sleepover <3 #good times heeheehoo

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New Taylor swift song called fuck like a mountain rat

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Being on your phone in bed at home during your free time: this sucks I'm wasting my life away what am I doing

Being on your phone at work:

#i need a job specifically so i can be on my phone more #its just not the same when im not doing it while ignoring customers 😔

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#still adore this

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“Nobody’s going to want to sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours to get from New York City to LA.”

Me. I will sit on high-speed rail for fifteen hours. I’ll sit on it for days. I’ll write and read and nap and eat and then do it all over again. I’ll stare out the windows and see America from ground level and not have to drive. I’ll see the Rockies and the deserts and cornfields and the Mississippi River and your house and yours and yours too. I’ll make up stories in my head about the small towns I see as we go along. I’ll see the states I’ve yet to see because driving or flying there is a fucking slog and expensive to boot. I’ll enjoy the ride as much as the destination. And then I’ll do it all over again to come the fuck home.

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they r going 2 eat him

#me fr #building my little snail terrarium

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usamericans do really love making posts about parking lots. i met god in a parking lot. fighting my ex in a parking lot. it's like their main biome

#a good parking lot will change your life man #church parking by my house hi babygirl

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not to brag… but i do like this guy sm

texts from my gf <3

wait another ine came in right before i posted

#like what are you talking abt i love you #freak creature lmao you people have NO idea