happywaffletree

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you are soldier who served in every war known to man you are immortal one day in the middle of WW III you were shot in the head thinking nobody saw you continue firing until your commander yells “what the hell”

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needless to say the vibes were in shambles

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in the latest cyber-news: the internet archive has lost their case against 4 major publishing houses (verge article). they’re going to appeal, but this is still a bad outcome. the fate of the internet is currently hanging in the balance because 4 multibillionare publishing groups missed out on like $15 of combined revenue during the pandemic because of the archive’s online library service. it’s so fucking stupid.

for those who don’t know what the internet archive is, it’s a virtual library full of media. books, magazines, recordings, visuals, flash games, websites - a lot of these things either don’t exist anymore or cannot be found & bought. heard of the wayback machine? that’s part of the internet archive. it is the most important website to exist, and i don’t say that lightly. if the internet archive goes down, the cultural loss will be immeasurable.

so how can you help?

boycott the publishing companies involved in this. they’re absolute ghouls, frankly, and don’t deserve a penny. the companies involved are harpercollins (imprints), wiley (imprints), penguin random house llc (imprints), and hachette book group (imprints). make sure the websites are set to your location as it may differ worldwide.

learn to torrent. download a torrent client (i recommend transmission), a vpn (i recommend protonvpn - sign up and choose the area that’s closest to your continent/country), and hit up /r/piracy on reddit for websites. with torrenting, you can get (almost) any media you want for free in high quality, with add-ons such as subtitles, and with no risks of loss. i would also recommend getting into the habit of watching stuff online for free. the less you can pay to a giant corporation, the better.

get into the habit of downloading and archiving materials. find a TB external hard drive, ideally the higher the better. it’ll probably cost around $60 for 1TB and continue to go up, but they’re so so useful. if you can’t afford a drive, look for any GB harddrives or memory sticks you have lying around and just fill them up. videos, pdfs, magazines, songs, movies, games - anything you can rip and download and fit on there, do it, because nothing is permanent.

donate to the internet archive. this is the most important option on the list. the IA relies entirely on funding, and it’s going to need more to fight this case. whatever you can donate, do it. i promise it’s helpful.

and finally…

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me, wearing nothing but a sheer plunge-neck ballgown that’s plastered to my skin from the rain, soaking wet and trembling with cold and fatigue as i stand outside the entrance to the castle: p-please help me ;) i’m s-so lost and s-scared ;) ;) i have no where to stay for the night ;) ;) ;)

the sexy vampire lady who answered the door, and to whom the castle belongs: of course ;) you poor thing ;) ;) come inside, you must be freezing… you may stay as long as you need to recover from your ordeal ;) ;) ;)

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If somebody pitched me traditional gender roles for the first time they would have me in the first half not going to lie.

Oh, in a complex society with a massive amount of required knowledge and responsibilities, two people traditionally partner together so that the knowledge and responsibilities can be divided between them? Awesome!

Wait what do you mean the responsibilities are assigned at birth.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE HALF HAS FEWER CIVIL RIGHTS.

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With the knowledge that Vulcan has regularly high winds & subsequent sandstorms I propose a type of guy: midwestern dads watching tornadoes but for Vulcans. Somebody's uncle Sovar standing outside with his hands on his hips watching a massive cloud roll closer. Unconcerned because this happens, like, every couple of weeks. He's like "this one is large, is it not" yes it is go back inside Sovar

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he’s just like me fr

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The band Ghost is so fucking funny to me. Their frontman currently looks like this:

Or some version of a horny goth clown, but the guy underneath it has got the wettest saddest eyes I've ever seen. Just look at him:

This man admits to being very sensitive and cries at the drop of a hat.

He has a wife and kids.

He wears the costume because he doesn't like the way he looks on stage as a rockstar.

He treats the audience like his children. They're officially called the children of Ghost for that and also because of the play on "children of god."

The band literally fucks around on stage while riffing this badass music. They go through physical comedy skits every concert like the three stooges. For example:

Two demons throw guitar picks at each other when they get angy.

One guy grinds and licks the stage like a cat in heat.

One of them shakes their tits at goth clown man and scares him shitless.

One of them twirls goth clown man like a ballerina as he dances by them.

Several of them slap goth clown's ass when he waddles by.

He created the band to make people happy, to celebrate being a fucking weirdo because he always felt left out, and to make fun of Christianity because it makes people feel bad. He lost his older brother, and it tore him up so bad that the music he made as a result launched him into a worldwide music career.

This man ends every concert "ritual" with three things:

1. Be nice to each other

2. Help each other

3. Go fuck yourself

(Literally and figuratively)

Their music is 70% "fuck me I'm so horny", 10% "I love you so much" and 20% "ethereal badass metal".

Look at how much fun he's having, dude.

It's literally just a rock band filled with the nicest people on earth wearing costumes like a Shakespearean play. And all they do is make up funny little lore stories and serve cunt.

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Everyone gives Sherlock Holmes a hard time about being mean about Watson's writing, but honestly imagine you told your roommate "sure, you can write up an account of my work for the newspaper," thinking it would be like, about the murder, but then he publishes it and it's 90% about you, as a person, and it's a huge hit and now everyone in London knows that you hoard newspapers and do cocoaine when you're depressed. Because I think you'd be little miffed too.

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forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

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Maine?? Hello?

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If you work a tipped job literally make up a silly name for yourself and people will think you’re so much more charismatic and personable for the exact same service. People are soo much nicer and tip me better when I say my names Melon. They fucking love it all I gotta say is yup that’s my real name. my parents are huge hippies. I know fucking insane right. Fucking stupid. With a straight face and especially the old people they have to fan themselves they get so excited

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the fact that he could Tell something was wrong. is so

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i cannot believe that since we started using the destiel meme as a breaking news alert there hasn’t been ONE destiel au fic where they’re co-anchors on the morning news.