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[head-test-dummy-blog]

2. Lunch

“Why did you separate from your, Anna?”. Lunch had been strange or awkward rather than strange. Kate was late so we sat outside the lunch hall waiting. I say we as I guessed that the vacant looking blonde, clearly American and the serious looking slightly larger reddish brunette was;

“Sorry I’m late, have you introduced yourself?” As the Doctor interrupted my own scientific study.

“No, we just arrived ourselves” In a Boston nasal twang from the dumpy one

“Clive, this is Henrietta” Henry was fine “this is Tilda” it was just her light coloured eyes and practically unnoticeable eyebrows that made her look “and this is Erik” who I hadn’t seen. “everyone, this is Clive”

“Tjäna” Hello from Erik, very Swedish, professional, good humoured, smart.

“Nice to meet you’ from Henry.

“Hej” slightly high pitched and curt from Tilda, Norwegian perhaps?

“Hi” I was nervous, actually slightly agitated. I’d forgotten what that felt like, could even be excitement

The food was fairly nondescript as per most Swedish meals and it was after 1230 so not so many people left eating. It meant we had room and freedom to speak and

“I love Catherine, I yumped at the chance to work with her, she’s always pushing boundaries” Tilda from Bergen is the blueprint of a Scandinavian white gold blonde. Her father a Norwegian fisherman/alcoholic and her mother was a Swedish model in her 20’s and PR consultant for a charity in her 50’s which means that she’s tall, but tall with long legs tall rather than long body tall, completely naturally blonde her hair probably midway down her back with small platted, things, on either side that many Scandi’s had in years gone. And she’s calm, she speaks slowly as she knows people will listen to her and not interrupt and all that at 24 or 5. I’m watching her speak rather than listening when I get caught

“A lot like Anna isn’t she?” I hadn’t realised that Tilda had finished talking or that I was staring

“Um, well, apart from, erm, yes very like Anna” apart from maybe 10 years and whilst Anna’s hair was blonde when she was younger, it tries not to be now. I try to refocus my attention and as I do I notice Henry also eyeing Tilda.

“Why did you leave your wife?” One expects Americans to be direct, doesn’t one.

“Anna and I weren’t married” and Erik looks up

“Yes I know, I meant your English wife!” so they pretty much know everything about me and I will need to guess. Kate has seen my look go slightly sullen

“Come on, I haven’t told them everything Clive, why did you leave Sarah?” if I imagine her naked will she have more or less power over me?

“She forgot about me” Which was clearly all I was going to say “So are all of you going to ..”

“Shhhh!” as I’m abruptly cut off “Not here! Erik” she nods at him as if to say your turn “Please”

“Yeah, hej. Well I'm the shrink, I'm not involved in any of the other stuff which I'm sure you’re pleased to hear”

“Bit of a relief”

“I think it’s a shame” from Tilda and I can't tell if she was joking or serious

“So yeah, I’m going to document how everyone feels, make my own observations and try to understand how everyone changes or adapts over the next six?” he looks at Kate who looks down and to the left “or nine to twelve months”

“So, like a study within a study?” is my guess

“I guess so and I can see you wondering but I did my studies in the US and my doctorate at Boston Uni which is wear I met Henry. She and I met Catherine a few years back when you were lecturing” as he looks at Kate and they smile a secret smile “and we hit it off, my studies coincided with her teaching and Henry was part of..”

“Why men love lesbians” as Henry looks directly at me “Do you love lesbians, Clive?” I think it’s a challenge as she clearly fits the mould

“Love them? I am one” said with all the false sincerity I can muster and its fine, it breaks the tension.

“So Clive, what I what we need you to do is write up your own feelings and publish them on a blog directly after, I mean directly after, after” and he nods at me “well after a procedure. I’ve prepared an excel or a Google sheet for you to record location, time, place, person, etc and immediate reaction but within an hour I want you to also record what happened, how you felt and publish it. Can you do that?”

“Can we add our comments to the sheet, excel?” will Tilda also be giving my BJ’s I wonder. Kate is half taking notes, half looking up, eyes darting between me and Tilda

“Can you?” who asked that, it was female, erm Kate

“Yes” Erik and I both say at the same time

“We, I don't want you to reflect on your thoughts, clearly you will but actually within 5 to 10 minutes of..” not as comfortable as the ladies then

“You want me to take notes on the acts, how long they took, positions and so on and then right away write up how I felt about the bee..”

“Clive I told you, not here!”

“There isn’t anyone in earshot” as I looked around I noticed that there were a couple of people, older male professors hanging about a long time after they finished eating

“There are and there will be, the competition always wants to know what everyone else is working on and this one, this study I prefer as tight a lid as possible” her eyes were fixed and breathing under forced control “We don’t need to the second, one of us will do that so to the minute will be fine”

“Like?” said quietly as I lean forward my chin pushed against my chest

“Like small talk or chit chat beforehand”

“As you get comfortable and undressed” as Tilda interrupts Henry

“Or more after you are undressed and lying back, starting to get aroused” Henry looking at Tilda to continue

“Yes and use of the hand to get you fully aroused then time from lips on to finish” the blank look is back, is it a kind of self protection thing?

“Right OK, sure, I’m sure all that is fine. Erm who..” I have to know

“Me mostly Clive. Tild, have you spoken to your boyfriend yet?” wow and, wow again

“No but he’ll just say I always do what I want to do and disappear off to an oil rig again for three months. I don’t need or want to ask him” Not completely in control then as her head is slightly moving almost electronically from side to side.

“I’m just hand, Sylvia said it was fine but she wasn’t kissing me knowing I had some guy all over me again, but hand was fine” Fine, am I fine?

“Yes and that works well” which both Erik and Kate almost say at the same time “we could have thought about that anyway but I’m not sure if anyone has done this sort of experiment before, so we are kind of working this out as we go” as he pushes his lips together at an angle and nods to himself.

The thumb and forefinger or my left hand push my eyes under their lids to make sure they are still there and with the help of the other fingers that my nose in still there and rounded rather than pointy

“Right, I thought this before, but where is the camera, where is Anna?” if one of them got naked now, now that everyone else has left the room then I would definitely know I was on a Swedish version of Playboy TV’s Totally Busted or Just for Laughs or something.

“Ok, lets go to my office, my secretary has left for the day”

[head-test-dummy-blog]

1. How Often

"Let me get this straight, you want me here every three days to give me a blowjob?”

“Yes” not even looking up from her laptop “though I prefer to use the term oral sex, or just oral is fine”

“Just to make sure I’ve understood this then. You want me here every three days to record how long it takes to make me cum, and then other stuff?" Your reaction, as in you the reader, is the same as mine was 9 months ago - ‘Bollocks!’

"Essentially yes, but there's a bit more to it than that. We will be performing a scientific experiment or study and for that there are rules, a method at least. Let's discuss after lunch'' As I stand a heavy frown appears, my lips pushed together "I'll meet you in the lunch hall" she says and looks down again so I guess I'm dismissed. Where did my friend go?

"...sorry, how often can you be here?" Dr Kate asked me, well I call her Doc Kate but most would know her as Dr Catherine Sk..... at a quite well known Swedish University.

"Erm, every three days I guess?" Kate and I had been friends for years. I was a love refugee in Sweden having married my sisters Swedish nanny and followed Anna back to Sweden. Anna's brother was Kate's husband and whilst Anna and I aren't together any more, we are all awkward friends.

I'm beating about the bush, I know!

Kate doesn't beat about the bush, ever. She has lectured on the topic of sex and sexual health all over the world, she is, direct almost to a point of rudeness.

"Good, every three days, to begin with and whilst we get the base data. You’re sure you manage that?

"Am I up for it?" Am I?

"Well!" She was tapping away on her computer but now she's looking at me over the top of her glasses. This is just science for her.

Just a little info about me. In my 40’s, a couple of careers under my belt. Quite fit and healthy, fairly normal middle-class values, upbringing, sex is for the bedroom and with the person you love sort of thing.

"Anna said you weren't working on anything at the moment and there's a small allow.." I cut her off but had been concentrating on the loosely curled strands of dark brown hair that were delicately brushing the top of the screen. Hearing Anna brought me back

"You spoke to Anna about this?"

"Of course, she said you would be great for this and that you needed.."

"You're going to pay me?" Some of Kate's previous studies have included Why women cheat, Sex in the workplace, Heterosexual Male attraction, Why Three? Recovery Times & Age, though I'm sure the titles were longer

"Pay, no. But there is a small allowance in the grant for extras. Pocket money for you but it's all we can do"

"I'm sure it’s fine. How many other people involved, being tested? Oh and doing the testing?" my brain has a million other things to consider and is only capable of simple questions.

"Just you for now and there's me and two or three PhD students. two female and one male so far but I've restricted the places and only invited students I trust or else everyone would have signed up". It's easy to guess her mother is Swedish and father English. "Is that OK?" Now she's sitting up straight, glasses off in her left hand, one of the ear pieces pointing at me waiting for an answer.

Sometimes I wonder, I really wonder if there is someone or something ethereal watching me, planning things for me saying things like “Right, lets see how he reacts to this one! The last two were pretty nasty so maybe he deserves…” Or maybe there is a committee…