Lost, like the lightning in
The sullen cloud.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes
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I feel like splitting open my wounds and drowning in my blood. I’m abusive apparently and yet the only person I take out my anger and frustration on is myself. If you have ever gotten in the way of that I am dearly sorry but know I do not hate anyone but myself. When I get like this I feel crazy. No one understands, everyone can regulate their emotions. I can’t even talk about it anymore because of the judgement so I stay quiet slowly dying inside. It feels like my personality has been sucked out of my body leaving my soul hollow and bear, I don’t know who I am anymore. I am so alone and misunderstood.
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Red plum blossom in winter, a symbol of perseverance and elegance in China
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