hellknightthatwrites

[hellknightthatwrites]

Born Different

Chapter 01: This Is Me end

It took me a few minutes to get all the ingredients on the counter and got to work on making the meatloaf. I'd learned to make meatloaf a few years back and had since then made it a few times to get better at it. After the third try I had it down pat. I finished making the loaf and set it in the pan. Looking at the clock it was nearly five in the afternoon. I'd been so engrossed in my task that I'd lost track of time.

I preheated the oven before pulling a frying pan out of a cupboard. I opened the pantry for a few potatoes. I'd rinsed, peeled and sliced them before placing them in the pan and sprinkling a bit of sea salt and pepper in the pan. I'd started to fry the potatoes as the oven beeped indicating the preheating being finished. I'd kept my mind clear and didn't let any outside thoughts distract me. My right arm was not throbbing or pulsing it remained inert. I just placed the loaf in the oven when Dani had pushed into the kitchen through the living room. I was startled by the front door opening and my right hand had accidentally pushed the pan to the side and unknowingly rested on the hot burner. I turned to see Dani in the entry way. She looked as pretty as when we first met. Back then her hair was in a long ponytail but in recent years she'd settled for a shorter braided style. Her platinum blond hair almost looked like strands of gold woven together by artisans from heaven. Her green eyes looked as though two shining emeralds were implanted in her head. Her expression changed from excitement to shock when she realized my right palm had been resting on the burner.

"Garris your hand!" As she yelled I drew my hand off the burner and switched it off. I pulled out my best 'I'm hurt and please don't look' act. It didn't hurt. In fact I didn't feel a thing. My right arm is special and it's because of my arm that I'd been taking my relationship with Dani very slow. Dani has been patient with my hesitancy involving intimacy. Believe me it isn't that I don't find her attractive quite the opposite. I however couldn't bare to think of her finding out the truth about my arm. I didn't want it to accidentally hurt her. I was afraid of getting too close to Dani because if I ever hurt her with my arm I was positive I couldn't forgive myself.

I placed the pan back over the now off burner. I ran to the bathroom and covered my hand with bandages and gaws pretending that it hurt. I had to be sure to avoid any type of suspicion. I was doing this for Dani and it was worth it. Dani entered the bathroom behind me asking how it was. I lied saying it wasn't too bad but should probably keep it covered. Dani gently grabbed my wrapped hand and for a split second my heart sank. To my relief Dani was unharmed. I turned to her and kissed her cheek. I assured her I was fine and she returned to the kitchen from the bathroom.

I pushed the image of flesh splitting from bone out of my mind. The thought almost made me vomit. It was an image that felt familiar but also so distant from where I stood right now. The idea sent a jolt through my body which nearly buckled my knees out from under me. I pulled myself together and put away the first aid kit. I closed the bathroom door and returned to the kitchen. Dani had taken over frying the potatoes. She glanced at me giving me a sympathetic expression before she focused on her task. Mom had now opened the front door and entered the kitchen through the living room. She noticed my bandaged hand but didn't react. She knew I wasn't really hurt. Eventually we'd both sit Dani down and tell her everything. Right now however, it was dinner time.

[hellknightthatwrites]

Born Different

Chapter 01 continues

I grabbed my hamper after balling up my damp towel and night clothes and tossing them into it. The smell if sweat coming from the hamper was strong enough to make me recoil despite how clean I'd gotten during the shower just smelling that stench made me want another one. It was a weekly thing. Every week I'd wake up from that nightmare in a cold sweat. Years ago before I reorganized my furniture I'd accidentally smashed my alarm clock when in a post sleep state of confusion.

My pulse would always be pounding in my ears. Every breath during those attacks felt like I was trying to force pea soup out of my lungs due to the heaviness of my breathing. I walked downstairs to the basement passing my mother's room and the main house. I quietly turned the knob and pushed myself through the doorway. I allowed myself to slip into the quiet letting it shroud me. I didn't want to disturb my mother. She hadn't been feeling well and rest was essential.

I opened the washer and dumped the contents of the hamper inside. I closed the lid and pressed start. I looked around the basement. It was always furnished and looked more like another den or bedroom than a basement. In the far corner opposite of me was a reclining chair. Beside the chair stood a floor lamp and a small coffee table. To the right of me along the wall stood an entertainment center with a thirty-two inch TV set and a blu-ray player. Further along the wall a bookcase full of old Stephen King and Dean Koontz novels sat in the corner. Between the walls was a doorway that opened to the water heater and the furnace. I sat in the recliner and took several deep breathes. I pulled the lever and reclined the chair. Part of me considered getting up and turning on the lights but I'd decided against it in a bid to hopefully get some sleep.

I assumed that I must've slept for quite some time because the sounds of birds singing had roused me from my dreamless rest. I stood up stretching and yawning as my back and neck cracked a couple times. Getting to my laundry I threw my damp clothes in the dryer. Ascending the stairs I couldn't help but hope I didn't wake mom with any of last night's antics. I walked into the kitchen and went to get the box of cheerios out of the cupboard when I noticed a sticky note attached to the kitchen table.

"Garris, I'm returning to work today, please prepare a meatloaf for dinner Dani is coming over tonight and please remember to smile, I love you" I read aloud.

Ever since a particularly messed up day twelve years ago she'd been trying her best to get me to lighten up. I appreciated her efforts but I could never banish my worries for good. She loved me like her own son. Adopted or not she never looked at me as if I was just a kid she took in. To her I was her son who happened to be adopted. Not just an adopted kid. I sat down in the living room and looked at the clock. One in the afternoon. I'd been asleep for nearly eleven hours. I let out a sigh as I strode into the kitchen and plopped the recipe book on the kitchen table. I flipped to the meatloaf recipe and after gathering the ingredients I'd prepared to cook.

[hellknightthatwrites]

Born Different

Chapter 01: This Is Me

I jolt up in bed. My heart pounded in my chest so hard I felt that it could tear itself out of my body at any moment. The same nightmare again. As always I woke up with my sheets damp from sweat. I hauled myself out of bed and stripped off the sheets and comforter. I tossed them into my hamper before peeling the cases off my pillows and placing them in the hamper as well. I became aware of the sickly and sweet the smell of my loungewear soaked in sweat. I let out a long shakey sigh before grabbing a change of clothes and walking into the bathroom.

I flicked on the light and set my clothes on the counter before closing the door behind me and removing my clothes. Looking at my reflection caused me alarm. My gray eyes looked so wild that it almost felt like the image in the mirror was looking through me. My hair was an unkempt mane of mud colored hair it grew to meet the back of my neck. The shade of white that my skin was looked between ash and ivory. Hell, I often called myself 'half albino' jokingly. I turned on the shower and waited until the water started producing steam. I slid the shower door open and stepped inside. I closed my eyes and allowed the rhythmic noises of the water hitting the drain consume the sounds of my own labored breathing and silence.

The hot water tracing its fingers down the length of my spine soothed my muscles. My skin turned to gooseflesh as the steam and hot water started to perk up my senses. I washed my body and hair before turning off the water. As I grabbed the door's edge to pull it open my mind flashed back to how I'd once covered the shower floor in blood. The scars that formed a semicircle around the upper bicep of my right arm started to throb in pain.

I dried off with a towel trying my hardest to ignore the pulsating pain that racked my arm. I opened the medicine cabinet and tossed back a couple ibuprofen. I looked in the mirror seeing my reflection staring back. I let out a sigh as I started to get dressed.

"So this is me"