hestiasroom

[hestiasroom]

Sugarcoating oppression is easier to do. Revolutionary feminist politics is not possible without, as Andrea Dworkin would say, "an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny."

[hestiasroom]

just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

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[hestiasroom]

isnt saying “women should be open to dating trans people unless they are penis-repulsed due to rape/trauma” the same as saying “abortion is wrong unless the woman was raped”

they are both essentially saying that a woman needs to be violated and traumatized before she gets full bodily autonomy

[hestiasroom]

I’m tired of hearing that newly-out trans identified males must be given patience, understanding, and unconditional support while they work through the awkward stages of “figuring out how to be a girl”. Because actual girls are not afforded this privilege. There is nothing a teen girl could do to avoid mockery. There is no grace afforded to a teenage girl, so why should it be afforded to men who want to mimic her experience? Why should a man be allowed to have an awkward “girlhood”, when girls aren’t ever allowed the same?

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the thing they said would never happen, is happening. oppression is now a choice, and if you don't like it, you should embark on a dangerous medical transition to simply "opt out" of womanhood.

Sigh. Let's see what we have here in this reddit thread.

The "other women" are exploding you in their mind. If women tolerate this dude, their patience ought to be wearing thin.

His reaction to women talking about their actual experience... y'know, as women: shut up and be glad you were born female!

[hestiasroom]

One of the things that makes arguing with men so much more draining than arguing with women is the unequal distribution of credibility and contribution.

Somehow, whenever I argue with men, it always falls upon me to both prove my own claims, and to disprove his, while he does neither; his only obligation seemingly to dole out whatever ungrounded assertions he conjures up on the spot. Somehow, it is always wordlessly established that anything I say is false until proven true, while anything he says is true until proven false.

This same dynamic happened again over on tiktok, when a man claimed women are just as violent as men. Automatically, almost as if by muscle memory, I offered up the usual statistics on male depravity: men constituting 99% of rapists, 99% of mass shooters, 98% of killers, 95% of serious domestic abusers. And his only response was to say those statistics were wrong. No elaboration; wrong simply because he said so.

I already knew how the entire conversation would pan out: I’d give him my source, he’d find a reason to discredit the source, then I’d scour the internet to find a source that suited his standards, which he’d inevitably find a reason to discredit too.

So instead I simply said, “Prove the statistics are wrong.” And that was the only thing I responded with henceforth: prove it, prove I’m wrong, prove you’re right. Thus reversing the dynamics and positing that anything I said was true unless he demonstrated otherwise; unduly putting all the onus on him while I did nothing other than decide whether he was convincing me of claims thoroughly enough—and if he wasn’t, it just meant I was winning, of course.

He blocked me, and so far so have all the other men I’ve used this approach on. I don’t know whether it’s because they couldn’t actually disprove my claims or because they couldn’t stand to be treated the same way they treat women in debates. But I think more women should do this. Stop wasting energy proving your points to men, and start making them prove theirs to you.

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Is anything more infuriating than when people describe a woman as "trapping" a man with a baby

[hestiasroom]

Welcome to another episode of dumb males degrading and sexualizing women because of their own delusional misogynistic mindset.

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if i could remove the shame and guilt girls feel from same sex attraction and give it to porn addicted straight boys, i would. how can they feel nothing for the way they dehumanize us while sapphics apologize just for existing?

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Read this in “stats & curiosities from HBR”

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ew srs surgery does not give you a real vagina

that is a mutilated penis and it’s so friggen sad

[hestiasroom]

so apparently there’s a woman on TikTok who found out her stepdad subscribed to her onlyfans and my heart definitely goes out to her because that sounds traumatic but also I feel like the rightful outrage over this is just another thing that disproves the lie that “sex work is work and it’s exactly like any other job”

there is obviously a huge difference between a family member coming to visit you at a restaurant you work at and a family member paying to see naked photos of you. and unfortunately from what I’ve heard it’s not even that uncommon for women to find out that their male relatives are subscribed to their onlyfans

[hestiasroom]

Hello again <3

I sent you an anon that you replied to on April 1st, which was me asking how ex-TIFs are received back into womanhood. Your reply gave me a little foothold which ended up very comforting as I started coming out rapid-fire to all my friends as detrans. this is primarily a message for other people in my situation, who are afraid and might want a template of what you might expect will happen once you do come out with it.

Predictably, most of my friends dropped me; I've 3 friends left. Two of which continue to support trans people but can accept that i have different opinions (as long as i'm "not mean") and one of which has seen the gender critical arguments, accepted them, and agrees. So, heavy losses, but not total losses. My two siblings seemed to sigh in relief and reveal that they never believed in genderism at all, which is odd, because in my 10 years of being trans not one of them challenged me on it. my mom fell into heavy guilt over "letting me" do all this, although i was 18 when i took testo and 19 when i got surgery, so she really could not have stopped me, legally. i suppose she mainly grieves knowing that had she had the right arguments she could have saved her kid this, but i've told her she is not to blame and i hope she recognizes that.

i haven't received any real harassment, not from anyone that i PERSONALLY know, though my family has received... harassment targeted at me? my sister had a classmate begin sending her copious pro-trans propaganda (contrapoints videos) which she instructed should be sent onward to me (sis did not comply). hilarious how my 10 years of direct experience is suddenly null and void and i'm assumed to know nothing about transness.... 6 months ago i was helping people sensitivity-write trans characters. now, i'm told i can't speak for the trans experience at all, and that i do not know what it's like to be a transmasc person. told that i need to listen to the arguments more carefully, that i don't LISTEN, when i literally lived this for 10 whole years. girl, on god? they tell me i don't get it and need to educate myself. and have empathy of course.

but in general, detransing, i've discovered that there are PLENTY of people who do not actually believe in genderism but who will play along simply out of fear or social pressure. my friends aside, who i knew through "queer" circles, everyone in my family (expect my mom) has revealed they never actually believed in it. i think this might contribute to why trans people bully dissenters so badly. they know this is the truth, that no one really buys it. i think, subconsciously, i have known that too. i never downloaded grindr, i never went into the men's bathrooms. i knew that despite testo and surgery and pronouns i could never challenge men as an equal in their eyes.

interestingly, making new friends is not that hard. I lead with the fact i'm detrans and "don't believe in all that shit" and people are VERY eager to be able to, suddenly, voice their real opinions without being called transphobic. they begin with probing questions, uncontroversial statements like "i agree they shouldn't put males in women's sports..." but if you continue to agree and not punish this daring on their part, they will reveal, with much relief and enthusiasm, what they really think. most people, normal people, really do not believe it all? i'm a brash person and can take irl confrontations quite well, hence i feel safe putting myself up as a transphobe off the bat. and people are very into this. so. the old ass saying, just be yourself.... normal people will not volunteer anti-genderist opinions on their own but when i continue to state thing after thing they open up and agree and eventually feel safe enough to admit their own thoughts. making friends, especially with non-gendie women, hasn't been that hard.

i'm going to write another message about same-sex attraction in the genderverse, but it's also a can of worms so i will make it separate from this one. again, thank you so much, for having anon on and listening, and letting us listen to each other without fear. i would hug you. to be continued

Thanks for the follow up!

My only comment is that I think most people play along out of kindness, it's not all bullying and fear, but that does impose a silence on everyone so everyone feels quite alone with their doubts.

[hestiasroom]

[hestiasroom]

There is no difference between conservatives and TRA's.

My country, like almost all Asian countries (yes, including ur beloved Korea and Japan) is VERY conservative. Lesbian and gay marriages are illegal here, and most of the people here support these laws, so don't even try to tell me that I live in a progressive republic.

And as a gnc woman since I was about 13, I've always been considered to be a boy. For me it was so eye opening to the whole trans movement. In my country I'm called "he" bcuz I don't fit into gender stereotypes. And in a western country, I would be called "he" or "they" bcuz I don't fit into gender stereotypes.

So what's the difference between them anyway? The fact that in a western country u r allowed to change ur sex? Pfft, u can change sex in Iran too, even tho it's a deeply Islamic country where religion plays an important role. Hell, even in my country you can officially do it. Just bcuz people don't get the idea that women and men can like different things and not necessarily have to change anything about themselves to do so.

And it makes me laugh so much that they call their movement progressive.

TRA's, ur movement was invented in the 70's by old pedophile John Money and the ideas of the movement stayed in those years. There is nothing progressive about u. And it will die when there is no longer such a thing as "gender"

[hestiasroom]

some of my fav stickers I've made 🫶💕

#burn your bra burn your binder needs to be everywhere!!