hiddenloner

[hiddenloner]

Level up secret; resist the survivor's guilt and savior complex that follows making it out of the streets.

⚠️controversial opinion⚠️ but that's why you're here, isn't it?

Heres the rule of the journey, you never look back. Most ladies make it out of the dirt broke life then sabotage everything by refusing to cut ties with it in the name of *I dOnT wAnT tO fOrgEt wHeRe I'm fRoM*. Girl no, forget. In fact do everything in your power to erase that part of your life off, and if you can't use it as a oh yeah I made it, like Anna Bey and Ronaldo and Rihanna does, you pull a Jennifer Lopez and sabotage all your progress. We have a fun story in the Bible about a certain woman that couldn't resist the urge to look back and turned into salt, yes its that serious. They call the Bible the greatest collection of philosophy to exist for a reason, if you look back you turn solute. That survivor's guilt of I made it but my, usually relatives, didn't so I have to keep tied to them will sabotage everything. That little savior complex of needing to save everyone will be the end of you. The most loving thing you can do as a woman is be self centered and selfish.

If women were self centered and selfish the world would be a better place, I will die on this hill. If you want to social justice fix the world so bad be boujee and expensive and hot and intellectually unconquerable, that's your service. Salvation is for the men, it was Jesus not Mary. Could've been Mary. It wasn't.

When you make it out of the ghetto the people you left behind resent you. They resent you because you hold a mirror to them, you're proof it can be done & because they didn't you very directly call them lazy and unmotivated just by existing. You hold a candle to all their flaws. You say hey look it can be done so why haven't you? They stop cheering the second you're one step above them and the sabotage begins. The idea that because they're family they're on your side lol. I say human beings are animals first, the day you get this the day your life gets easy. Your family is the most animalistic to you because they can get away with it. Your dad is your dad there's nothing you can do about that. Your friends people please you because you can cut them off but your sister is your sister, you're stuck. In my tribe we say a ship sinks from the hole on its boards, not from the waves. It's all from within. Or we say the lice lives in your hair, it's not the things outside that harm you, downfall is always an inside man's job, who k1lled Tupac? Who betrayed Jesus? Who fought Meghan Markle the hardest? Your family and social group is the most animalistic to you because they can get away with it, the faster you cut them off the better. Yes I've been accused of being too cutthroat too edges and sharp points yes I'll admit to it, why, because I didn't grow up privileged enough for the people around me to hide how much of animals they can be, I've seen the world in all its colors.

Lets take two ladies, me being one of them. Let's call one Alison and the other, me, let's call me Jessica. So Allie and Jessi. We met in uni, first year. Two peas of the same pod. So I'm black and Allie is Chinese, and we both come from poor families. So Allie and Jessi of course hit it off because misery loves company, our classmates will just never understand why we aren't jumping on a plane to the Four Seasons because they're aristocrats and we have to pay our sibling's school fees, naturally we gravitated toward each other from the moment we met, first year first week I made a friend. Of course we have the same goals so we pair up, partners and all. The difference is,I immigrated in high school & went to a boujee school that taught me stoicism and self centeredness and how life works as early as 14. Allie came for uni so she grew up with her family that taught her to be the masculine provider and work hard to support everyone so she spent high school studying for 4885799 hours a day then doing six jobs at night to pay for daddys gambling and bro's video games-

in case I didn't say this the patriarchy isn't as insufferable in society as it is in your household. Your brother and father could easily easily easily be your first abusers, and they usually feel entitled to your free labor because they ArE mEn. Yes sometimes moms if she's a single mom but no one feels more entitled to your paycheck than your bro and dad, @ me and tell me I'm wrong.

Back to the story, I've learned to focus on me first then the rest while Allie has been taught all her life its them first then maybe her but that's selfish. Because she's hardworking with that traditional Chinese work ethic & we utilize my networks Allie gets a job that actually pays more than mine does- more power to her. In no time she has two high peyong jobs, bombing her classes and overall being perfect, good for her. Because we are friends I teach her all I can about personal finance and how to set yourself up for a great financial future and because she's the smart one she teaches me to study and balance my work and school and personal life. Symbiosis at best. Reciprocity. Second year we part ways because we chose different electives and she transfers campuses. It's good. After a while Allie wants to meet up. I've done well for myself now, being a young adult and all, and I expect being obviously the better one of us with more opportunities she's done better for herself, so we get coffee and I'm excited for all the tips I'm about to get because she's smart like that, always something to learn from her. We talk for a while and boom. Allie needs some money.

Hold on. Rev tf up. Did you get fired? Because I talked to your workmates and you're doing good? No she isn't fired. In fact she got a third job online. Okay then what's going on? How can you be broke when you are doing better than me? I'm struggling to make my one little job work?

You know I send money home.

All of it?

Well they keep asking. When I say no they guilt trip be about I left for the west and got white washed and bla bla bla bla in conclusion dad is draining my pockets dry to be able to brag to his little drunk buddies his girl is in the west. I can't say no.

Uh, you can. No. It's, two letters. One syllable. No. Easy Peasy.

You don't understand my family worked so hard to give me this opportunity-

No. They didn't. You did. You worked hard and won a scholarship out of thousands of people at a top university, nothing they did could secure you that. You did

Ma'am goes on and on about bla bla it's family so bla bla bla I can't forget where I'm from I'm not like you so I-

So I cut her off. If she were like me she'd be making more than a high earner in interests per month. If she were like me she'd be incredibly selfish and only send home a fixed amount and nothing above. If she were like me she'd understand you can't pour from and empty cup, now that you have nothing who's benefitting? If you said no they'd be mad for a while then you'd build a financial base and in three four years give or take you'd be able to send more than they're asking you for and not feel the burden of it , but you have to keep looking back, don't you? It'S fAmiLy? Okay and? So are you. Are you not THEIR family? Do you see then looking out for you? A doormat is a doormat, ma'am. Laying yourself for your family doesn't make you some kind of holier doormat, a doormat is a doormat. That survivor's guilt of I made it and they didn't will be the end of you, trust me on this.

When you leave, you cut your ties for a while, that's the name of the game. Sometimes you cut ties forever. Jennifer Lopez & her documentary getting roasted left right center by people from the Bronx because she's trying so hard to fit in but they resent her for leaving when they didn't. When you make it, either the people you left get inspired and pull themselves out or they resent you, there's no in between and more often than not it's the latter. Forget where you came from. Ronaldo is from the streets and he casually mentions it but do you see him trying hard to fit in? No. Rihanna will mention once oh yeah I come from the roughs of the Carribean, that's it. End of story. Trying so hard to reconnect with where you're from is a death trap, the people you left behind expect you to finance their lives so its yeah you're from here so pay all my bills and give me a job at your office or you're fake. When you get wealthy your family that isn't yet suddenly need a couple thousand every month & if you don't provide it you're a whitewashed sellout bla bla bla & even if you do give it they'll resent you more because they feel looked down on & once you show them you need their approval you're dead dead. The Anna Bey method of using your past to sell three figure courses is my favorite. When you make it and get famous it will be your childhood friends and ex classmates and cousins spilling all the negative tea about you and exaggerating. If Meghan Markle taught you one thing let it be this. You're on your own, kid.

We will talk about this, soon, but helping people only causes them to resent you. You make more enemies being charitable than being selfish, we'll get to this.

Resist that survivor's guilt thing and never look back. Ever. When you leave, leave. Change your name if you have to & get plastic surgery or whatever. Don't look back. Matter of fact do everything to never be associated with it outside acknowledgment.

START HERE.

[hiddenloner]

“You can get away with buying babies around the world as a United States citizen. It’s not a crime.”

—

Richard Cross, Senior Special ICE agent. Via Foreign Policy

The linked source article provides decent insight as to why adoption/foster ‘care’ in the US is particularly a imperialist shitshow, ripping apart birth families & communities on massive global scales.

[hiddenloner]

[hiddenloner]

don’t worry, you’re still in the “early life” part of your wikipedia page

[hiddenloner]

“I really don’t think life is about the I-could-have-beens. Life is only about the I-tried-to-do. I don’t mind the failure but I can’t imagine that I’d forgive myself if I didn’t try.”

—

Nikki Giovanni

[hiddenloner]

SHERYL LEE RALPH accepts her award for Best Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series at the 28th Annual Critics Choice Awards (January 15, 2023)

[hiddenloner]

[hiddenloner]

[hiddenloner]

“Man only likes to count his troubles; he doesn’t calculate his happiness.”

— Fyodor Dostoevsky

[hiddenloner]

[hiddenloner]

[hiddenloner]

Añasco, Puerto Rico

[hiddenloner]

Sometimes you have to tell yourself “just do it”. Honestly, just do it. Don’t think about how hard it may be now. Just focus on how rewarding your hard work will be in the future. Good things don’t always come easy but they also don’t come to those who don’t try hard.

[hiddenloner]

“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[hiddenloner]

“Sometimes what you’re most afraid of doing the very thing that will set you free.”

— Robert Tew

[hiddenloner]

“Find yourself first, like yourself first, love yourself first, and friendship, companionship, and love will naturally find you.”

— Mandy Hale

[hiddenloner]

“Maybe you don’t go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don’t do. The things you don’t finish.”

— Chuck Palahniuk, Lullaby